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alottiegoingon · 2 days

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hc! enemies to friends

natalie scatorccio x fem!reader

summary: going from enemies to friends with nat

warnings: golden retriever x black cat dynamic, very brief drinking mention, cursing, not proofread pls ignore any mistakes

the request was enemies to lovers but i didnt want to sound repetitive so this could be considered a prequel for this if you ignore a few changes :)

𖧊 nat thought you were an excruciating pain in her ass

𖧊 when you joined the yellowjackets, she couldn’t be any more frustrated by your constant overwhelming happiness or your endless chatter

𖧊 “do you ever think about how aliens may think that we are the real aliens?” you and misty were in a heated argument about the topic while warming before practice and natalie was really trying to ignore you until she couldn’t anymore

𖧊 “oh my goood!” nat growled, hands covering her face as she was one step away from murdering you with her bare hands. “do you ever stop talking?”

𖧊 “maybe,” you reply to her snarky comment, stopping stretching your legs to cross your arms. “if you say please.”

𖧊 “i’d rather throw myself in front of a bus, actually,” she retorts, jaw clenching

𖧊 “and how exactly do you plan to play soccer with a broken leg or arm?”

𖧊 “no, that’s not-”nat tries to explain that, first of all, she didn’t actually mean it in a literal way but, second, if she did then playing soccer would be the least of her worries. but then she realized how stupid it was

𖧊 “just forget it,” she muttered, storming away with heavy steps, seeking solace in a quiet corner to warm up

𖧊 you were everywhere. yes, you went to the same school and the same soccer team but still, nat was always hoping to get a break from you

𖧊 it wasn’t very difficult for the other girls to notice that nat wasn’t exactly the happiest around you and that’s exactly why jackie paired you two, trying to make you get along

𖧊 “it looks like we are partners,” you said with a grin, heading towards nat. her narrowed eyes and tense posture were a stark contrast to yours

𖧊 “let’s just get over with it,” she couldn’t care less about small talk and she surely didn't wanna hear shit about fucking aliens

𖧊 passing the ball to each other was a very stupid idea, nat was sure of it. it was for kids, for beginners. and she wasn’t either of those. you, on the other hand, seemed pretty content with the fun and light training

𖧊 “did you know that smoking isn’t good for you?” you simply let your bold words fall from your lips, still focused on the exercise

𖧊 “how do you know i smoke?” nat can’t believe how annoying you were. she didn’t need advices

𖧊 “i saw you smoking behind school this morning. i tried to say hi but you didn’t see me”

𖧊 “oh. was that you?” she squints at the memory of a louder version of yourself was screaming her name from the open window of a passing car

𖧊 “yes, didn’t you hear me?”

𖧊 “sorry, i thought you were screaming bats”, nat explains, trying to hide a hint of a possible smirk appearing in her face by compressing her lips

𖧊 “why would i scream bats? i was saying nat!”

𖧊 “hm, no,” she nods. “it was definitely bats”

𖧊 bickering over small things was something that the yellowjackets were very tired of, especially if it happened in the locker room after practice when everyone was exhausted

𖧊 “are you filling my water bottle?” nat approached when you were by the drinking fountain, struggling to hold at least five other bottles on your arms while filling nat's

𖧊 "no, nat. i'm holding it for fun," you snort, eyes pierced on the running water so it wouldn't overflow

𖧊 "i didn't ask you to do that!"

𖧊 "the girls asked me to do theirs and yours was empty. you're welcome" as soon as you're done with it, you close the lid and practically shoves her bottle on her chest, barely giving her any time to hold it

𖧊 "it was empty because i wanted to! the water tastes like shit here," she digs her fingers into the plastic so hard that they were turning white

𖧊 "are you allergic to saying thank you or just rude?" you exhale, now facing nat with, for the first time ever, impatience in your eyes

𖧊 "fuck off, princess," she forces a laugh out, "i'm allergic to annoying and bubbly girls stealing my stuff, yes!" nat steps forward and you thought you were allucinating when you caught her eyes on your mouth

𖧊 “just kiss already, i'm so tired of your shit,” tai groans before you could tease her about it and right by her side there's van smirking at the very gay situation

𖧊 “in her dreams, maybe," you mock nat just to have the pleasure of watch her whole face going red

𖧊 after being completely humilliated by you (you made her blush) in front of everyone, nat was furious. that until she found you hidden in the spot she would usually go to smoke with her friends before school

𖧊 she was about to leave as soon as she laid her eyes on you, not wanting to get envolved in any drama. besides, she didn't like you and she didn't care. but she couldn't just leave you there

𖧊 "what's up, princess? someone stole your gel pens?" nat wasn't good when it came to comfort someone, and definitely not you. so, maybe, being funny would help

𖧊 you didn't bother to look up at her. sitting on the floor hugging your knees against your chest and burying your head onto your legs, you weren't in the mood to listen to her taunts. "not now, nat."

𖧊 nat wasn't sure of what to do. sitting by your side and mirroring your position, she pondered for a while and decided that the best thing to do was to wait. it's not like she cared about being late for school anyway

𖧊 "coach martinez wants to replace me. he said i don't kick strong enough," you slowly lif your head from your knees in order to face natalie, who was attentively listening to your first words after some solid ten minutes

𖧊 "this is crazy. what does he know about soccer anyway?"

𖧊 "he's the coach, nat," you frown at her strange way of reassuring you, despite finding it kind of cute

𖧊 "well, there's that," she rubs her temples, "but we still have time until the nationals. maybe we could practice together"

𖧊 "like you and me?" your confusion only gets worse. natalie scatorccio wanted to help you?

𖧊 "it can't be that bad, right? and it would suck to have you replaced by some other loud and irritating girl when i'm already used to you"

𖧊 this could go terribly wrong and end up with nat having your head in a stick but you were willing to take the risk if it meant that you had a chance to stay in the team

𖧊 "alright, i'm in" shaking your head, you extend your hand for nat to shake it and seal the deal. "i always knew you didn't actually hate me."

𖧊 "don't make me regret it, princess."

#natalie scatorccio #natalie scatorccio x reader #yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader

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042502 · 10 hours

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☆༉ — CHRIS STURNIOLO. The Unwritten Rule.

about. Everyone knows the rule, don't fall in love with your best friend's boyfriend.

author's note. this is the chapter 8, I hope it sounds interesting to you. My first language is not English. masterlis!

Then you hear him yelling at Anna in the kitchen, who is staring at the bowl of popcorn that has fallen to the floor. Chris and I had just entered the house, the moment between us interrupted. Both of us blinking and turning towards the door at the same time.

We both tensed at the sound of Anna's mother's voice.

"Why did you park in the garage?" the woman asks. "You know you shouldn't do it."

“You said you worked late and I…”

"Oh, so when I leave I'm trying to keep you. Can't you bother walking up the front steps?"

"What are you eating? Anna, honey, you shouldn't eat after four. It will go straight to your hips. Trust me, I know.”

"Mom" It was obvious that he was sad. "I have...Chris is here and Ada is here. Can we talk about this later?"

"Of course, I'm bothering you in my own house," she blurted sarcastically. "Don’t worry about me, I don’t need to eat or sit and rest or anything like that.”

I have to get to Anna before this gets worse, I have to stop this, so I took a step into the kitchen.

"Hey, Anna, I was talking to Chris and…” he smiled, feigning surprise “Oh you made popcorn, thanks!”

I look over at the older woman and force myself to smile at her when really what I wanted to do was kick her in the fucking face.

"I'm so hungry, and Anna said she didn't want to mess anything up in the kitchen because you might want something when you got home, but I begged her until she did.”

"Great, now there's no food" she looked at her daughter" Anna made a mess.

"It's not that bad," Chris chimed in, also entering the kitchen. "You should see some of the things you dropped in the kitchen."

"Hello," Anna's mother greeted, smiling at Chris, fluttering her eyelashes, and there was the grimace on Anna's face. "I just meant that it's a hassle to clean up spilled food. I'm sure I wish there were kids who looked like you when I was in high school. Not that long ago, you know.”

Anna rolled her eyes at her mother's comment. Chris smiled, pursing his lips. I kneel down and start picking up some popcorn and pieces from the bowl that had fallen. Anna crouches down next to me, her hands shaking as she does the same.

"I'm exhausted," she sighs. "I'm going to bed, Anna, don't make any noise."

"I won't," Anna replied, continuing to clean in silence.

"Are you sure?" Chris asks, Anna just nods and kisses him.

Once we finished cleaning Anna came up to us and spoke "You should leave."

My stomach twists and I hate myself for it. Chris looks at me and I just look away, pretending I'm still searching the floor for stray bits of popcorn or the bowl.

When he's gone, Anna comes and stays by my side. She cries, biting her lip to not make any kind of noise, I just hug her tightly, wishing she could make her mother see everything she does. Although I know that even if she saw it, it wouldn't change anything.

Anna doesn't want to spend the night at my house, and I leave a few minutes later, telling her to call me if she needs anything.

Once I get home, I look for my parents and put my arms around them to tell them. "I love."

"Of course you do, we're adorable" Dad comments making me laugh.

"Everything is alright?" Mom asked a little worried.

I nodded, I wasn't, but looking at them makes me remember how lucky I am to have them.

Sunday mornings are always a big event in my house. First, my mother wakes us up and then we go to church. Mom likes to go to the bathroom early because, well, she just likes mornings and that's it.

Normally I'm too sleepy to do anything except stay asleep, but now I can't stop thinking about the night before. About how Anna looked when her mother was talking to her; tired, sad and defeated, in a way that Anna only looks at home.

I should have said something else, something that would make his mother be kinder. Although maybe nothing I said would have made Anna's mother care. I could have called her when I got home and double checked that she was okay. She could just stop lusting after her boyfriend at least, her life was already very miserable.

I could stop thinking about Chris telling me that it was me he had called that first time he and Anna spoke on the call.

At home after church, I need a break from myself and my thoughts. I put on my favorite jeans and one of Dad's old lawyer shirts, dark blue cotton that's soft against my skin and loose enough. Go down to have breakfast.

My mom loves to cook, but on Sunday mornings she goes all out, because dad's favorite meal is a big breakfast and once a week mom likes to 'indulge' him. Frankly, sometimes I wonder how he survives without my mom. I know he did it, She wasn't born until he was older than I am now and they met until he was in his forties and she was finishing her PhD, but still. It's like they've always been together and she really loves him and wants him to be okay. As good as it can be.

She made stuffed toast, filling pieces of egg-and-butter bread with a mixture of cream cheese and blueberry ice cream that she had thawed overnight, and a frittata, It's basically a huge bread filled with baked egg, cheese, and vegetables. There is also bacon and orange juice that she squeezed herself.

"Have you sent this French toast recipe anywhere?" Dad asks when he focuses on his breakfast, and Mom shakes her head in response, taking out her course recipe notebook.

"Breakfast entrees are generally some type of bread or pastries" He writes in his notebook. "I think the next big thing will be pancakes that have been turned into some kind of layered dish. Pancake lasagna! Oh, with syrup as a sauce, and maybe hazelnut chocolate spread like cheese" He calmed down little by little and began to write faster, outside the creation kitchen area. Dad smiled and patted her hand.

"Don't forget to eat," he reminds, to which my mother smiles, lifting a piece of bacon to her mouth.

"I'm surprised Anna isn't here, you two, well you three now, I guess your relationship with Chris is something serious, you've been very close lately.

"Doesn't Chris have a friend to introduce you to?" Dad points at me with his cutlery.

"Dad, can we not discuss my social life?" rather, the lack of my social life.

"I'm not arguing, I'm asking," he explains. "Chris seems like a nice guy, so I thought if you met someone around him...

"Dad!"

"You'll meet someone" Mom smiles. "Somewhere out there is that boy waiting for you."

I know, and his name is Chris Sturniolo, and I can't date him because he's dating my best friend. However, I kissed him, despite knowing that.

"Don't you want to go out?"

"Mom, it's not eleven yet, no one I know is awake."

“Of course they are,” he argues. “Anna usually shows up here around this time.”

"Yes" he murmured and left the kitchen, now entering my room. Mom was right, Anna should normally show up here by now.

I usually call her when she gets back from church and she automatically arrives for breakfast.

But today I didn't call her, today I had been trying to think about her, I told myself to think about her, but I didn't. Not really.

I was just thinking about Chris, I was still thinking about Chris, and I hadn't called her because I was wondering if he would call me. If we talk about what happened that last night, or about the kiss, or just about us. I haven't called her because if I do and he's with her, I won't be able to pretend that I don't like her.

I have to pretend that the first time I called Anna was about me, what happened the morning after that end of summer party...

Anna was trying on some of her mother's lipsticks and putting them down as soon as she put one on because she didn't like any of the colors, and her cell phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hello Ada?" my heart pounded. I felt strangely weak but happy, leaning against the wall when Anna looked at me. "Ada?" Chris spoke to me again on the other end of the call.

"Chris?" His name left my lips, and then there was a great silence, a painfully slow silence in which I knew I had to say something, but I wanted him to say whatever because last night we had talked, he had held my hand and I was hoping, but then he started dating Anna.

Anna was smiling and combing her hair, she extended her hand to me so I could pass her the cell phone.

I stared at her and she whispered. "Ada, he called me! And after I barely mention that he'd probably see you here, he definitely likes me."

"Ada" Chris named me again.

"Tell him I'm not here, don't expect me to be here. Damn this is so romantic" she was actually very excited about this.

They had kissed, I knew it. They had kissed and I had seen them. All the boys looked at her, they all loved her, How would they not? after all she was Anna, the most beautiful girl you could ever see in your miserable life.

"Wait, Anna's here," I reply to Chris.

And that was it. I stood for a moment, watching Anna smile, listening to her laugh, and part of the conversation; 'What have you been thinking about all night?' 'Me too' 'What?' 'Do you want to talk to Ada now? I don't know if I can allow that. I bet you asked him what I said about your kissing technique, and well, I'm afraid you don't have enough information to form a real opinion yet. I need more samples, you know. But Ada said we were perfect for each other' 'yes, she said it'. She smiled mockingly at me and held the cell phone in her hands, waiting.

"Perfect," I said, raising my voice a little so Chris could hear me, and Anna giggled, turning to talk to him. I snuck out of my own room like it wasn't mine at all and sat on the stairs trying not to cry. I thought Chris called me.

I allowed myself to think that once, just once, and then I forgot about it. It made me forget it. I had to do it.

I had to do it because I saw my best friend start seeing him. I noticed that she was beginning to really like me. I saw how his eyes lit up as he looked at Chris in a way they never did for any other boy. I saw them together, not for a week or even two, but for a month. Now two.

But at this moment Chris and I had kissed and he told me that he wanted to talk to me when he called that time, he wanted to talk to me and not Anna.

I ended up calling Anna in the afternoon, she's getting ready to go out and tells me she's been avoiding calls, but "I took this because I knew it was you and I adore you" I don't ask him any questions like I used to, I don't ask 'Where you're going?' or 'Who are you going with?' I don't want to hear your answers.

"See you tomorrow?" she asks.

"Of course," I reply. "Do you want to drive, or are you going to ride in Chris' car?" His name now comes so naturally from my lips.

"I'll drive," he paused briefly. "I'm leaving. Fun awaits me!"

"Go get her" he ended the call and I sat there, not thinking about anything. That's really weird, but I can't keep doing this, I can't play 'what if?' I have to be clear about how things are and that's it.

When his cell phone rings after dinner, he speaks, but they instantly hang up.

I wish that had never happened, because then I wouldn't think about it so much before going to sleep.

I wouldn't wake up so blushing, with my arms around one of my pillows. I wouldn't be wondering what Anna and Chris were doing today.

I wouldn't be wondering if he was thinking about me.

author's note. if you want to be part of the taglist leave a comment below and I will add you. Thanks for reading, remember to like, share with your friends and leave a nice comment ^^

taglist. @l34n @jetaimevous @jnkvivi @loveyoumatthewbernard @d1tzy-bl0nde @laxbabe131147 @slut4chriss @dontellaf1lms @surniolozzzprincess @sturnlova @inlovewithchriss @whicked-hazlatwhore @mattsgirlsblog @nsjsnshey @always-reading @y-s-a-p @h3arts4harry

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thedevilsoftruth · 11 hours

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“ I guess I've grown attached to Marine and Jas. We’re a ragtag bunch, but it kind of feels like a weird family. I never really had much of a family as a kid. “

*sigh*

Let's sit down for a minute. Me and you. Let's talk, yeah? Have a couple of beers, kick back, and relax.

This is a quote I've been thinking about for a long time. Long, long, looong time. There is a LOT to unpack with this. I have been meaning to make a character analysis on Shane since my first three days of playing Stardew.

TW FOR DRUG / ALCOHOL ADDICTION AND CHILDHOOD TRUAMA

Most of the things I will say here just my theories. If you want to add anything onto it, please do so in the replies/reblogs, It would mean a lot to me. I would love to hear what you have to say.

It's always struck me odd how Shane is renting his room from his aunt. Not the fact that he's renting it, but the fact that it's his from his aunt. I've always thought, " Well, what about his parents? Wouldn't he be living with his parents instead of his aunt? " Well... the easy answer to that could just be that he's simply renting it from his aunt. Maybe his parents don't have room in their house. But you see, I'm an overthinker.

Notice how he says, " I never had really had much of a family as a kid. " why would he even want to live with his parents if they weren't there for him as a kid?

Here's my theory,

Shane is really close with his aunt ( of course ) I think his parents were absent when he was a kid. If Shane is out in Cindersap Forest, under the big tree, he gives you the dialogue, " I'm attached to these woods. Lots of memories "

" lot of memories " huh.... weird....

I think Shane's parents were super neglectful to him when he was a kid. They were never proud of the work he did, and they were never around to care ( business trips ) I think Shane would sneak to his aunts house after school for shelter because at her ranch is where he felt content the most and where he could clear his head. Especially out in the forest. He would have his buddies over, and they'd play in the woods. But when he would get back home, it'd start all over again.

He'd get home, and nobody would be there. I have a headcanon that Shane is an only child, so he'd have no siblings, and the only person he could trust was his aunt.

It explains so much. His alcohol addiction, how cold and rude he is at the start of the game, his depression and including the way he treated Jas at the start of the game. Shane didn't know how to parent Jas because he never had a reliable role model to look up to as a kid.

Sure, he's poor and can't afford to live in a house with his goddaughter. That's enough to drive any man Insane, and I know that because that was all of my families issues when I was a kid. And it's still happening with my step-dad. He and my mom were both poor drug addicts. My dad had to come stay with me and my aunt THOUSANDS of times because he was homeless and couldn't afford to survive with my brother. But there's always SOMETHING that drives that person down the path of drug addiction.

For my mom, it was because she was neglected by her parents, and she had Bipolar Disorder. For my step-dad, it was because he was simply influenced. He had friends who were drug addicts and my mom was a drug addict as well. If you hang around drug addicts for a long time, you get influenced and start to take drugs as well.

It could just be that Shane is just depressed because he can't afford to care for his child, which is 100% understandable, and he lives with his aunt just because he lives with his aunt. I just wanted to put my thoughts out. Like I said, it's just a theory. If you have anything you want to add, please do. ❤️

#sdv #stardew #stardew valley #sdv shane hcs #sdv hcs #stardew valley hcs #sdv theories #sdv shane #shane sdv #stardew shane #stardew vallley shane #shane stardew valley

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fastestmanalive333 · 2 days

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Do you have a unique “origin” about Chris Kent? (Or “rewrites” like not aging him up, sending him back to the phantom zone in Last Son) or is everything the same like the comics?

Oh btw, I like that Chris drawing (the one with Superman on the side) very cool! Giving Chris a booty huh? XD

his sacrifice is important to his character, like he has a lot of interesting lore as his own personal character that goes beyond just being Clark and lois' kid so I wanted to sort of explore that more.. they are with him much longer tho a good 5-6 years they raise him for.. until zods attack in metropolis happens so its not a brief minute... but we get to see them grow a bit, clark and lois arent married yet theyre engaged.. but he really ends up bringing them closer together, makes them think about their future together and helps and she does see him for all intents and purposes as her son and he's still very, very close to her so his sacrifice is intact but it happens much later so it hits much harder and it happens the same time death in the family happens.. so he fends for himself stuck there for years and comes back in new krypton a year after jason returns as the red hood.. bruce and clark both felt loss around the same time and he helps bruce track joker down, bruce and clark take awhile and talk about how they both lost their sons.. they talk about how rough that year was for both of them.. and they grow to be better friends i wanted to add emotional beats, there's certain aspects that do make a character unique in their own way.. chris isnt like jon at all despite the comparisons i see a lot.. unlike jon there's similarities but he isn't jon.. people calling him prototype jon is tiring like he is more then just a cute kid, he isnt the next superman or superboy hes his own character with his own alias, mythos, and could very much stand on his own i feel, and he opens the door to the more mythical side of the superman mythos which as a vertigo fan and a huge fan of Peter David's supergirl I'm a sucker for.. hes shyer less outgoing then jon too... so hes reslly not gonna feel like him in any way.. so its steering away from the comparisons and keeping everything the same.. so trying to keep them and playing around is fun.. Clark and Lois do raise chris around the same time bruce raises jason so they interact a few times during that time.. jason died saving his mother, chris went back in the phantom zone to save the world... for he was keeping it open.. thara still finds him breaks him free times past, and he reunites with Clark, Lois.. and Jason's in a darker place.. the reunions are longer.. and there's a lot more emphasis on them.. seeing he came back after being gone for years.. jason wandered the streets practically a vegetable, until talia found him and threw him into the Lazarus pit... he cut ties with everyone he was alone... Chris was alone too.. but they dealt with it in different ways.. New Krypton happens.. the world's finest team up tho would probably be a reunion with jay instead of tim.. bit of a loss cause I enjoyed the little interaction... but.. it does open stuff up more and it works better in the context of the story.

Chris: "Jay"

Jason: "I know they call you nightwing but you don't look like one I've ever met.. how do you know my name?

Chris: *takes helmet off* we met once

*flashback*

Superman: robin this is chris.. Chris meet Robin

Young Jason: sup I'm jay.. you can call me toddster, big jay you name it!

Young Chris: toddster?

Young Jason: just a nickname.. cmon lemme show you around the five star hotel watch out for the cliff there's spiders..

Young Chris: *looks down* ...

Young Jason: *walks behind him arms crossed* BOO!

Young Chris: AHHHH!! *nearly falls*

Young Chris: woahh there hotshot *catches him by the tie of his school uniform* wouldn't want you falling now would we?

*present*

Jason: ...*eyes widen* ..Chris?

And yeah that's it, Clark, Lois, held on to pictures of Chris even after they got married.. despite all the struggles they end up happy together again, and Chris he helps Jason open up again so yeah that's his story mostly unchanged stuffs different here and there but it goes to the same points and beats but stretches it out to what I feel makes him a stronger character at the end of the day

#chris kent #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #thara ak var #flamebird #nightwing and flamebird #superman

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silusvesuius · 29 days

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in drawing heads purgatory

#my art #skyrim #elly ate everybody up here lowkey but maybe i'm just biased #elisif profile is so cute in canon though i've been drawing it wrong this whole time..she's so beby #she has 2 braids but i'll keep giving her one #also her eyes in game are cute too... blue eyed..demon #1 thing i hate ab serana in canon is how u can tell she was molded specifically so that everyone finds her hawt #bruh waterboard her face in dirt and wrinkles before i stomp the fuck out of her ;#i'm kidding i wouldn't do her like that...... she's my friend.#sorry for posting headshots like it's something interesting. it's interesting 2 ME

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pushing500 · 7 months

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Awww, look at Fafo teaching her son how to be a good friend. Ro is going to be such a lovely kid. <3

Debby and Barghest got into a fistfight while under the curious gaze of Buccaneer the drebbbd, Dallas the baby thrumbo, and Asset the ankylosaurus. Perhaps the most difficult fight we've had to face while starting up the ship reactor. (Debby won)

"This piece shows a knife" might be my favourite RimWorld art description ever.

Then Fafo decided to give Ro another lesson, and... Well, I'm sure Kaz is thrilled by his son's newly expanded vocabulary at least.

First | Next | Previous

#rimworld #gracie plays #The Animist Alliance #art #my art #traditional art #rimworld art #unpolished art #Fafo seems to like doing social lessons with Ro #even though her social skill is only level 4 #At least she's having fun with her kid I guess #Barghest's misogynist trait is annoying #I'm glad Debby won that fight #I wish they wouldn't fight when we're dealing with raids tho #Maybe the real raid was the friends we made along the way #And Candlelight with her art bless her little soul #That plant pot is her pride and joy I'm sure of it #And definitely the greatest most succinct rimworld art description I've ever seen #Have a fabulous day!! <3

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bunnie-bits · 9 months

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i wanna kis (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) it's almost midnight ladies u know what that means .. (yearning hours)

#me n my friend got crossfaded n rly cozy and i wanted 2 cuddle but that wouldn't b appropriate btwn us (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) i wouldn't #dare ask omg. but now i rly want someone 2 lay on my chest n hold them n give each other eepy kisses ₍ ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ ₎#i also wasn't expecting company 2 day bc i didn't have the energy 4 stuff this wk and it's like (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)#i don't wanna kick u out given ur night but i should be laying down rn (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) either that or doin fuck all in the back lol #and so i brought us 2 the back n we smoked n talked in the dark‚ and got to trade ghost stories bc she also dealt w ghosts as a kid 0:#that was fun (❁´◡`❁) I'd been wanting to do that w her since i found out #it's nice having a friend who's been into horror since they were young too ╰(￣ω￣ｏ) that talk was after watching 2 movies hehe #we saw evil dead rise n malignant 😈 and then talking abt spiritually in a non-religious sense then ghosts #and originally i was gonna get food but nah we used a coupon for 2 pizzas n got delivery it's been an extremely chill night and i needed it!#things have been so crazy this week with work omg. my weekend is probs gonna b uneventful (hopefully!) and i wanna b at home!!#just veg out n play bibyo gaym (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) and buy more bags of food for the squirrels n birds #these squirrels omg 😂 i work in the back and they know i give them food so they've been getting up on my lap sometimes like hello??#or i look over my laptop and fr see a squirrel just sitting in the chair across from me poking their head up over the table staring #i knoooow babies i know I'll get u ur food as soon as possible. omg and i have monday off?? i forgor ;u; !! n e ways I'm feeling good 2night #started out Yearning but (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) what a great way to start my weekend. she called me just as i was wrapping things up w work :3 #i can actually Breathe this weekend and I'm not exhausted (⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠;⁠) nice.#im gonna go listen 2 my silly little music n go back 2 yearning hehe. but hiii a girl is Up now and im v stoned n in sleepover mode

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apollo-zero-one · 2 months

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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing #NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years #waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line #mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker #you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy #victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know #you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and #doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's #life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze #manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and #poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy #she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he #said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk #that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements #and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm #and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word #choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person #how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me #im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason

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laws-yellow-submarine · 1 year

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Hey y'all I'm gonna vent a minute here and then I'm gonna open myself up to advice because I'm dealing with A Thing and need to either be validated in my responses OR talked out of making a bad decision, ok here we go:

Turns out my ex (of only 2.5 months, remember) is "seeing" (fucking) my son's babysitter! 🙃

I do not know for sure if it started before the breakup. He dodged the question multiple times and got angry that I asked (to put it lightly) so I mean... kinda hard to believe him when he says it didn't start until after. But i don't know for sure and I'll never know for sure. Either way it's bullshit.

She also reached out as a friend when we broke up, so there's an extra element of backstabbing in the mix. I gave her my son's old clothes when she couldn't provide for her own kid. And even now she keeps trying to act all friendly and nice and "Oh Leyna if you need to have a conversation about this, I want that too" (like nuh uh, too late for that). Who does that???

So anyway I already have a pre-typed message I plan to send both of them this weekend when I get my son back from his dad's explaining my (very reasonable) boundaries and telling them both to essentially fuck off in the most Calm Civil voice I possibly can (and also dropping the bomb that hey guess what, there's gonna be a new babysitter! Idk who yet but fuck no he's not going there anymore)

The dilemma I now have is this: do I put them on blast? (I know what the reasonable answer is, I do. But i can't believe the majority of people in their lives both know about this AND approve, people who ARE important to my son. Like right now? I can't trust any of them...)

So yeah. Please give me thoughts, opinions, things to make me smile, literally anything at this point cause I think I'm actually in the midst of a mental breakdown 🙃

#leyna speaks #rant #vent post #tw breakup #tw cheating #potentially #also disclaimer she's not the main babysitter. technically the woman we hired to babysit is her best friend but she started helping out #and that's how she got involved in my son's life. she's not always at the babysitters place but that is technically her only job right now #and either way you're telling me her best friend didn't know? and nobody thought to keep the child's mother up to date?#or to say 'hey think of the implications of you getting involved with the father of one of the daycare kids'?#like hell no i can't trust her to watch my kid anymore even if she 'promised' that the other girl wouldn't be there anymore #I'm drawing that line in the sand regardless (which does suck cause i don't have another sitter lined up BUT i need to do this)

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irawhiti · 1 year

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mum is getting me in contact with a couple people to move out with, i don't really Want to be roomies with someone who's friends with my abuser but frankly i'd take it over the excruciating fucking racism. uuuu

#like she's legitimately nice to people who aren't me.#the candidates are apparently a couple guys i knew as a kid and also an Aboriginal guy looking for a place #which i mean the latter would be ideal so i'm not housed with white people #the guys would obv know i'm trans also which would be annoying but it'd be dealt with from the start do #so* it wouldn't be me being kicked out and threatened again bc they found out i'm trans #but ehhh #at least i got a couple people. next issue is staying close enough for the butcher job #the guys also have the obvious benefit of only being secondary tied to my mother #since they're the sons of a friend of hers #but idk how many more times i can room with long haired casually racist blond white guys /s

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bataranqs · 2 years

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5 Happy Things

18/07/2022

1. Skirts!!! Poofy skirts and long skirts and short skirts and mini skirts and skirts connected to dresses and skirts with overall straps and just skirts in general!!! They are so cute and I adore them so much

2. Dogs! Dogs when they get excited and dogs when they get a lil growly but are harmless and dogs when they hop onto things they are Absolutely Not Supposed to Be On and dogs when they lie on cold surfaces bc they are hot and dogs when they lie on you or your bed bc they’re cold! Dogs!

3. The way that the older human beings get the more gentle and forgiving and kind they often become? Like human beings who learn to turn their anger into gentleness and people who turn their jealousy into generosity and people who turn their ignorance into the skill of listening just. People becoming better as they age because they learn more and use what they learned to understand others and be kinder.

4. People who turn bright and smiley when you compliment them! People who are awkward or weirded out when you compliment them! People who immediately compliment you back! People who strike up a conversation when you compliment them! People!!!

5. I got a good grade in driving lessons, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve

#5 happy things #on 3: i know it's not always and we all know PLENTY of adults who Suck etc #but at the same time. idk. i look at my dad who grew up with anger and who became the most gentle and understanding man #bc he INTENTIONALLY worked hard to be over his decades of living and is still working on it!!!#my older sister who knew she was cold to people and studied and practiced her listening skills so now she is the person that #i'm probably most comfortable with talking to about just about anything bc i know she won't judge and she'll answer thoughtfully #who worked for over a DECADE to obtain that skill to listen and respond with kindness and gentleness and understanding #looking at all the people around me who are just. SO cool and amazing and lovely and i know it's bc they put in that time and effort #we were talking about looking at student report cards in class and stuff from kindergarten and how it's stuff like #'sara is good at sharing!' 'nick loves playing with his friends and is very energetic!' 'tom is a very gentle child'#and i'm just like. that's included in a report card! that's something kids are taught and learn and we continue to learn and relearn #i know i know it's sonder and i cannot shut up about sonder #but at the same time it's just so. overwhelming and amazing and beautiful idk. i want to be someone kind really really really #idk if i can but wouldn't it be so nice to be kinder and gentler and understanding and patient and all those good things? i think it must #sometimes i think too hard about being good or my own personality or right and wrong or normal and unique and all those things #and i think i do. REALLY want to learn those things. but if i could just figure out how to make people feel bright and special and loved #wouldn't that be oh so lovely?#like i'm really not a compassionate person at all but i'd like to do it. not as a feeling but as an action right? it's a continual study #i was talking with my friend today and she's a friend who i've been slowly slowly learning to love and i just thought my goodness #i love her so much. she feels easy to love. and i definitely would not have felt that before so i'm just. really grateful to feel that way #bc she is so wonderful!!! and i love her SO much!!! and i love loving her!!! it's such a good feeling #annika rambles in the tags

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oldhabitsdiescrming · 12 days

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#tate.txf #vent post #vent #tw vent #listening to so long london right now and fuck. fuck!#i remember hearing it the first time and realizing i was Not as healed as i thought i was.#while my relation to it isn't through a relationship-technically-it IS about the girl who groomed the fuck out of me at 13 years old ❤️#i was friends with her for three years and jesus fucking christ. she fucked me up in ways i'm still reeling from.#i took care of her-this grown ass adult-through everything. things no kid should be hearing about.#i was fourteen and not sleeping. when i did she would threaten to off herself because i wasn't replying.#i went HOUSE HUNTING for her. i was looking into odd jobs because i thought she needed my help.#when i finally took a mental health break after three years of carrying her sadness like a weight #she called me a monster. i was sixteen years old and watching someone who swore they loved me say the most horrible #god awful things. things i wouldn't say to the person i hated.#i had so many panic attacks over her. i would get in trouble because of how hard i fought to be there for her. i was a kid.#carrying a sadness that became my own purely because she deemed me vulnerable enough to carry the weight.#it's been years #and i am finally so. so. so angry.#i'm finally the age she was when she groomed me and i just. i don't understand. i don't understand how you can do that to a child.#im pissed off she let me give her that youth for free. im just getting color back into my face. she deserves prison but she won't get time.#i'm so angry after all this time. i wish her well. i hate her. i'm hurting. i don't understand any of it.#why was it my job to carry her up the hill? how much sadness did she think i had in me prior to her entry into my life?#i'm still afraid to talk to people. to make friends. to respond to my existing friends.#because i didn't know it was coming with her.#for a while there i'd believed i could forgive her. now i know i don't owe her that.#i am just getting color back into my face. i am mad as hell because i gave up my youth for someone who couldn't care less at the end.#oh the tragedy.#to delete #just had to finally say it somewhere.

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literary-lesbian · 2 months

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question: how am i meant to be motivated to do well in my exams when i have no goals dreams or desires?

#nommy rambles #was talking to my friends about this #one said she just wanted to be a mother one day #and one said she just wanted to be able to live in her own house #but both of them have career aspirations too let's be honest #and i was just like.#right now i couldn't care less about having kids #and i wouldn't mind living with my parents forever tbh #so... what do i do?#yes i have a uni course that i'd like to do #but i'm not super super attached to it so i feel like it wouldn't be the end of the world if i... didn't get the grades #you know?

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sapsolais · 2 months

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#it's 2 am and i'm thinking about drawing all the things that've really made me feel butch lately #it's like a small scrapbook in my heart #lots of smaller moments when i get on my knees and help my kids tie their shoes. or make them smile or laugh by doing something silly #or whenever i do my best to be there for them when they need me #showing my grandpa the leather jacket he gave me after i got it altered to fit me better #going shopping for my mom the day before her birthday party. the moment i drove her home when she wasn't feeling well #“pissing off” my coworker by being polite and doing small things for her like putting her lunch in the fridge when she forgets to put it in #whenever i get all my coworkers food or snacks and insist they don't owe me anything #the other day when i was helping my boss pull weeds with my coworkers and i proudly held up a clump the size of my head like an excited dog #last week when some ladies were trying to start a car that wouldn't turn over and i let them use my battery pack #when i hold the door open for people at the gym #when other queers (friends/mutuals/my kids) say or show that they feel safe around me. like they can be themselves #when i came home the other day after my mom told me my uncle died and came inside and dropped off my stuff #and went to give my grandma a hug. i didn't know what to say. and i sort of knew there was nothing i could say. but i didn't have to #i was just there. and i think i Got It in that moment. like. what it really means. to have someone completely and wholly #collapse into you. even if they're trying not to show it. but you try and hold them together. i think it's about trying #trying to let people know you love them. in everything you are and everything you do.#there's other moments too #like pushing gracie really fast in a shopping cart in an empty parking lot shdjghfnh #or the other day when lyd twitch streamed 2 me and let me quietly fold laundry with them #or when i'm up talking with toast and veronica and 3 in the morning #moments where i'm shown unconditional love and kindness and wholly accepted even if it's just for that moment in time #allowed to be myself without stifling any part of me #if you're reading this i love you #:]#g'night #sap says

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bidaryl · 3 months

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Loved your time travel fix it synopsis(seriously I’ll probably be dwelling on it all day). I also realized Negan is ironically in the same boat as Maggie, he gets the love of his life back, but it costs him a child.

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 thanku so much omg 🤧 technically i have started writing it but it's like. a mess. but i do never stop thinking about it cfhdgdvdf

also yes!!!!! i think i put something about annie in my original tags but i was also trying to not Spiral so i kept it short and brief but like.

wanna think about a negan that has loved and lost lucille, who has carved himself out to be a saviour to his people, yet a monster to others, who has been through hell and back and has survived what should've been certain death, and came out the other side.

wanna think about how he met and found and learned to love again with annie, and how he got to exist and live as a person who had someone waiting for him at the end of each day, after each run, someone to care for, and someone who cared about him after every fight.

wanna think about him having a kid, and holding his child in his arms. naming them and loving them, creating a family he never dreamed he'd get.

then the world restarts, and he's waking up in a house he hasn't called home for years, and his wife–his lucille–is sick but alive, and his brains so fucking scrambled trying to catch up, but it's lucille.

he would do anything for her.

then the complexities of like. confessing to lucille everything he'd done and everything he became and all the things he'd done in her name, the bone deep grief over looking at his wife and wanting her more than anything, can not believe he gets a second chance with her–hell, a third chance even–yet sometimes when she holds his hand, all he can think about is how it doesn't feel the way he's used to anymore. her hands aren't warn and scared like annie's were, and that cuts him to the core.

the way he can sometimes hear a baby crying, just slightly out of his sight, but every time he opens his eyes, there's nothing there. but lucille is, and he knows things will never be the same again.

idk. theres LOTS to think about and i love absolutely every fucking second I LOVE TIME TRAVEL AU'S

#i havnt rewatched the last few seasons the way i have the first so my memory is. hazy #but. pretty sure annie had and lost someone as well #so. in my head i like to think that they got their True Loves back #the ones who they swore if they ever EVER somehow could #they would like. absolutely do anything to get back to #but then ofcourse there is the pain of losing what they gained in the end #becos they learned how to Live and Love again #and ofcourse. BABY #but i feel like lucille would be like. i know u i know ur heart and i trust u #and wouldn't be like. oh ur murdered in my name? we're done #but instead be like. tell me everything. tell me about the wars tell me about the tragedies tell me about your new family #tell me how we can get them Back.#and then like. fast forward a bit and imagine lucille and annie MEETING #and negan and whoever annie was with #WOULD LIKE TO THINK THEY'D be FRIENDS #i just think that lucille would love and respect and be so fucking grateful to meet and know someone who loved her husband #in the way she couldn't becos she was gone #and then like. okay i'm running outta tags i know it but like maybe annie and negan never get their child back #and they'll always mourn them and miss them and love them #but maybe thry have other kids instead #wait actually fuck it. lucille and annies partner are like 'yo can u two just fuck already so we can all get our kid? finally!'#sry if this is incoherent i am tired but thanku for listening if youve made it this far <3 #msgs <3

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