#i'm back in special healthcare baby

[isaksbestpillow]

Guess who just spent five hours with phone in hand anxiously waiting for a call that lasted two minutes

#i'm back in special healthcare baby #next steps are medical menopause and surgery number two #so time to get nervous about that now i guess

[femmespoiled]

i'm 19 and brown. if it's like, not cool for me to ask, feel free to tell me to fuck off but is it okay if i only really like other non-white trans sapphics? my aunt who married into my family told me(she's white) that i should be like, nicer to white people? or more open to them? but i'm just so uncomfortable around them, bc i've had so many bad experiences and i'm just not interested in them! she keeps trying to set me up with white girls, mostly all cis and i don't want anything to do wih them and i can't tell if this is me being a bad person? or my aunt being a bitch??? ;_; if you have any thoughts, PLEASE share, i'm just fucking confused.

"Nicer to white people", that doesn't necessarily mean dating white people, just because you don't date them, it doesn't mean you're not nice to them, I think you're justified specially when you talk about your bad experiences with such. It really bothers me how much some white people can't stand to not be the center of everybody's world. To be in a non white centered existence is to be treated unfairly to some white people and it honestly angers me. Before I get "you're being racist to white people", that doesn't exist, structurally and societally you're not negatively affected by being white, in fact you are privileged and when I say you're privileged, because a lot of white people get this wrong, I don't mean that you have an easy life that's free of struggles and I don't even mean having privilege is a bad thing always, it is, however, something to be acknowledged and taken into account, specially when interacting with people of colour, by privilege I mean that the colour of your skin isn't judged/perceived and treated with (usually harmful) stereotypes/less than a human when you go looking for healthcare, when you look for jobs, when you're dating, when you're existing basically, by privileged I mean most of representation out there in media is still just white people.

If white cis people acknowledged their (specially structural) privilege more, I think we would have less problems like this. There's always a nice white lady who wants you to be nicer to white people, yeah? How about on a macro scale you be nicer to all people of colour who have been treated terribly all around the world? because when I was the only one stopped at the airport by a cop in a foreign country for no reason, while all the white people continuing walking with no worries, who was there to be nice to me?

Let's also talk about how white people sometimes have a tendency of fetishizing people of colour, let's talk about how some straight girls are crazy about dating someone of colour because they want the "exotic mixed babies". And that dates way way way back, specially in colonized areas, when they were trying to lighten our skin and act like they're doing us a favour, when they pushed down our throats the idea that the more light skinned you were the better.

I'm sorry, I digress, but uh, no, I don't think you're in the wrong, you've had bad experiences, you're the one that takes charge of your dating experiences. There are a lot of folks who are t4t because in a trans centered relationship they're able to find understanding and love and shared experiences and healing, I believe same could happen in non white centered relationships.

This is by no means hate to all white people, but some of you really love pretending to be nice to pull off shit like this and I don't like it. It's manipulative and borderline racist, honestly, no, this is racist. I hope your aunt leaves you alone about this, anon, and I hope she sits down and takes a long time to think about why it's so important for her that you date white people. You're not a bad person and she is a bitch.

#ask

[oothepinksquidoo]

Great uncle Ebenezer .★. Scrooge x reader one-shot

Dayum, I'm on a roll with these chapters Huh? Go me ig LMFAO again with is a oneshot for my book (check it out if you like, it's on Ao3 or wattpad, whatever you prefer!)

Summary: You get an unexpected letter from a special friend, the news of a child being born comes as a thrill to you! Greater panic for Ebenezer

I guess a little angsty warning? Ngl it's mainly fluff

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

It was a new day in London, the snow was slowly decreasing very slowly, yet any time it did more would come the very next day. I couldn't complain though, the wintery weather always gave London a special feeling to it, something I couldn't explain even if I tried. 

It was early in the morning, I was in the Bakery with Ebenezer. He decided to tag along for the opening while also helping me make space for the new tables and chairs that Ebenezer had bought for the shop. He really was a sweetheart, anything I could possibly imagine he tried his best to get that very thing to me. 

Some mail fell through the letterbox, I walked over and grabbed it, expecting the usual work things and a few orders. I was sorting the letters into piles when one caught my attention, “Huh?”

Ebenezer looked over after he finished moving a table into place, “What is it, darling?”

“It’s a letter from Harry.” I replied opening it, “He usually comes in to order, he never places an order by mail.” I gasped once I read the letter, “Oh my days!”

Dear Y/n,

I hope you are well, I apologise I haven't visited in a while, I do miss you even if it's only week a week or so. But I do have a good reason! 

Hela and I have finally had the little extension to our family, our original two has finally become three. The baby came a little earlier than we expected but she is doing extremely well! I hope you come by to see our daughter, 

P.s, if you do come by, could you bring some of your delicious crumble you make? I’ll pay for it of course haha!

Your dearest Friend, Harry

I read the letter outloud for Ebenezer to hear, he stood there in complete shock. He frowned slightly, “Hela was pregnant?”

“Uh, yes? She has been for the last… eight and a half months?” I joked, “To be fair, she was incredible at hiding it. But isn't it wonderful? You're a great uncle now!”

Ebenezer looked at me blankly, “Yes, quite. I uh… Is Hela alright? She has no… health problems?”

My face dropped when I finally caught onto why Ebenezer was not as excited as me, “Ebenezer, I assure you Hela is perfectly healthy.” I cupped Ebenezer’s face, “Look at me, dear.” I spoke softly, it took a second but eventually he did listen, “I understand your fear, believe me I do. Hela is in safe hands, and if anything were to go wrong, we can get the best healthcare in London.”

“Yes.” Ebenezer replied, “You're quite right, as usual. I just can't help but fear the worst. Not only did I lose a sister that day, that very boy lost his mother. I couldn't imagine the agony of losing the love of his life too.”

I gave him a comforting hug, “You know, I have a feeling Harry may feel the same way too.”

“He most likely is…” Ebenezer sighed, “I must go see him. Are you coming too?”

I nodded, “I would never give up an opportunity to go see my bestest friends! I think I have some spare crumble in the back…” I hummed in thought.

Ebenezer looked down at the letters that sat on the table as I rushed to the kitchen, “Are you not going to open any of the rest?” he shouted so I could hear him.

“I’ll open them later, we have more important stuff to tend to!” I replied, walking back to the front with a tin of crumble.

“Why on earth do you just have a tin of crumble in the back already?” Ebenezer asked as he grabbed a basket for me to place the tin in.

“Harry practically always orders it every week, apple crumble is his go to.” I explained as I linked arms with Ebenezer.

We both walked out of the shop, talking Eagerly about the news of the new baby. It was most thrilling to think about! Though I still could see that Ebenzer was worried, with every step closer to Harry’s house I could feel his grip on my arm getting tighter. I comfortingly rubbed his arm as we got to his house.

“It’ll be okay, Ebenezer.” I comfortingly spoke, Ebenezer nodded, hesitantly knocking on the door.

Not long after, the door opened, it was Harry. He grinned widely, pulling me into a hug before evening speaking. “Y/n, I’m so glad you could come.”

“I wouldn't miss seeing the little one for the world.” I replied, giving him a little squeeze before pulling away, I looked up at Ebnezer who was extremely quiet. “I think your Uncle is a little anxious, is Hela alright, Harry?” 

“She’s doing just fine, perfectly actually! There were no complications at all.” Harry replied, he put out his hand for Ebenezer to shake, “I’m so glad you're here uncle, I was going to come round to the shop to tell you the news first, but I thought I should be here with Hela.” 

 Unexpectedly, Ebenezer pulled him into a hug, sighing deeply when he heard the news. “I’m so proud of you and Hela, my boy.” Ebenezer admitted, “I promise I’ll always be here if you need me, I won't be the fool I have been the previous years.”

The biggest smile I had ever seen on Harry shone brightly on Harry’s face. I could see a few tears in his eyes as he welcomed us into his house, “Please, do make yourself at home, I think I hear Hela in the living room.”

We both walked in and straight to the living room. It was lit warmly by the fireplace. Hela looked up at us, and there was the new baby, in her arms asleep soundly. She cautiously walked over to us, “I’m so glad you two could come.” 

“May I introduce you to, Elizabeth Jen Huffam.” Harry said with a proud smile on his face.

Hela handed the baby over to me, I smiled warmly, gently rocking the infant, “She’s beautiful Hela, she looks just like you two.” I looked up at Ebenezer, “Doesn't she just?”

Ebenezer looked down at the baby with tears in his eyes, “She does, and she looks like your mother, when she was a baby.” He wiped the tear that fell down his face.

“Would you like to have a hold, my love?” I asked, I could see he was slightly nervous at doing such a thing, “Why don't you sit on the Sofa, I’ll hand her over to you.”

Ebenezer nodded, sitting on the Sofa so he could hold his little niece. “She is truly wonderful.” He seemed paralyzed by his happiness, gazing at the infant with such care. Elizabeth opened her eyes, Ebenezer smiled even more when he realised that they too were the same colour of his little sister’s and his in fact.

“Why don't we go make some tea.” Hela said to me as she walked over the room, leaving Ebenzer and Harry with Elizabeth,

I followed Hela with a smile, “That child is going to be spoiled rotten you know.”

“I can tell already,” She laughed, “I can see it in his eyes.” She placed some cups on the counter while I got the water to boil. “And Harry too had the same look when he first saw her.”

“So, how has Harry been?” I asked, “I assume he was also worried about you, with his mother and all.”

“I've never seen him so scared before, the past week and a half he’s hardly let me do anything that meant I had to move out of either the bedroom or living room,” She chuckled, thinking about her husband, “He is an incredible man.” She spoke as she placed some tea bags in cups. 

“I know.” I replied as I poured the water into the cups, “And He will be an incredible father.”

“Have you thought about children yet with Ebenezer?” Hela asked as she finished making the tea.

“We have actually, well sort of. I mentioned a bit ago, he is incredible with the Cratchit children.” I replied, “Though, I think that will come with time. He may be a changed man, but I don't think he’s quite ready.” 

“I quite agree.” Hela nodded, carrying some of the cups, I carried the rest as we walked back to the sitting room, “But I know, when you two are ready, you’ll make great parents.” 

We walked in the room, placing the cups down. Ebenezer was still holding little Elizabeth, well, it appeared as though Elizabeth was holding him. Her hand was tightly gripping his finger, smiling happily.

“I think Elizabeth quite likes her Uncle,” Harry laughed, taking a drink of the tea. “My, this is gorgeous thank you, dears.” 

My eyes were still on Ebenezer, who was totally focused on Elizabeth. The more I looked at her, the more I could see Jen, and I believe that is precisely why Ebenezer was so fixated on her. 

After a while, we all walked out of the sitting room. Harry wanted to show off his designing skills with the baby room, Meanwhile Ebenezer stayed back, still with Elizabeth, her beautiful blue eyes gazing up at her uncle.

Ebenezer stood up, walking over to the portrait, “My dear Jen, I may not have been there for your own son as he grew up, but I promise I will never make that same, selfish mistake twice. And... I’ll do everything possible to have her grow up without the constant battle of illness.” He looked down at the child in his arms, “I’ll do everything I possibly can to make sure you are happy.”

Ebenezer didn't know this, But I stood at the doorway the whole time, my eyes were filled with tears as I watched him. I already knew he was going to be the best dad he possibly could be, but this moment just confirmed it. I knew we weren't at all ready for that stage in life, but when that day does arrive, I’ll be the happiest woman to walk the streets of London. 

#ebenezer scrooge #scrooge x reader #fluff #scrooge #scrooge 2022 #scrooge netflix #scrooge x you #ebenezer scrooge x reader #angst #a christmas carol

[papirouge]

I love seeing actual pro life accounts call out and go after americans because they can such hypocrites. Saying to us how much they believe in protecting unborn babies and the sanctity of life but will yell scream and protest against gun control when they have their regular school shootings. Like your babies aren’t safe once out the womb, they’re getting killed in their schools, grocery stores, movie theaters and malls. But they’d rather protect gunmen over their innocent babies.

Give it a few years and we will read something like how Americans are shooting nursery wards and delivery rooms. But the American pro lifers will turn their blind eye again because muh guns

I think our voice as non American needs to be heard🩵🩵 Tumblr is a mostly USAmerican platform so our iconoclast outlook is more than relevant than ever

It's so funny when I interact with pro gun Christian USAmerican who are so used to use their amendments, "castle law" or "natural right" charade to back up their stance, they completely lose touch when they face someone like me (not American) who's absolutely unfamiliar with those concepts.

I'm french and you won't see me trying to explain how actually abortion is compatible to Christianism through the lense of the Declaration of the Human Rights (a french creation, which is btw infinitely more relevant internationally than American amendements no one cares or knows about). ...That's how demented USAmerican sound like when they try to defend the idea that gun violence is compatible with Christianism through the lense of their law/amendments

God doesn't make special treatment; He wouldn't allow USAmerican Christians to kill while every other can't.

The mental gymnastics of pro gun anti abortion Christian is also pretty funny to witness. They'll cope saying "hMuMmmm b-but we don't want to kill people uwu" yeaah so tell me why you guys are advocating to make the most lethal weapons (firearms) available for all? If the point wasn't to kill, yall would be campaigning for teaser or pepper spray. Get real.

And you're absolutely with their hypocrisy children. Look at Sandy Hook. Look how hard conservatives tried to silence us saying it was "too early" to talk about the gun problem and that we were weaponizing this tragedy (when they had no problem doing the same when a trans person attacked a Christian school 🤡); it got so bad they had to make up an entire tinfoil theory arguing that aKtcHualLy no children was dead.... Liberals are absolutely right to drag them for caring about life only when it comes to fetus and not living breathing school-attending children....

Their logic is precisely the same as abortionists : the system is flawed and hurt people....? we have to throw it away altogether instead of....you know, finding solutions to fix it.

ABORTIONISTS : "abortion is the only solution to deal with pregnancy issues!! there's no point in trying to improve the social system & healthcare so no woman feels compelled to resort to abortion"

PRO GUN: "MORE guns are the only solution against mass shooting There's no point in investing in decent system of police officer training & social prevention so that we reduce at a minimum gun violence"

Both statements are as equally deranged. Why couldn't we find solutions upstream who wouldn't involve death or physical harm?

And it doesn't help they have this obsession with acting like the government is the enemy™️ and that nothing remotely positive should be expected from it...

The fact that they think the average Joe will do better than the average policeman is painfully naive. There's a reason protecting people is a whole job. They act like once every citizen is carrying a gun, there will suddenly be the pax Americana and all the psycho who are most likely going to snap will be stopped by a good samaritan crossing over the way.... When statistically speaking, more guns around will expose more mentally unwell people to using them. Isn't there a whole epidemic of mental illness in the USA? oh my bad, it's only a problem when trans people do a mass shooting and that conservatives suddenly care about actually not putting guns into anyone's hand 🙃

#mind you those ppl want teachers to carry as well #what are they going to say once teachers start shooting their own student bc they couldn't contain shit in the classroom? #answered

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

There were a lot of emotions today. I feel like I need to ackowledge them all, because though they are conflicting in some ways they are all equally important.

My baby is safe and healthy. We made it past the point of my last miscarriage, and are only 2 weeks from clearing the first trimester. That's a huge win.

Seeing my little one squirm around so much that my OB struggled to measure her is still making me beam. I am head over heels in love. I am still scared, but feeling much more hopeful and able to connect with the pregnancy a little more.

We all shed tears of joy seeing the baby today, even my OB. It was really a special moment.

While sitting in my OB's office I got the alert that Roe v. Wade was overturned. My heart sank. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm scared, not just for me and my reproductive health but for all of my friends and family and every woman in this country. Today was a huge step back for women's rights. The decision made by the Supreme Court today will result on significant trauma for women and families. It's unjust, immoral and sickening.

I unintentionally saw my weight today on my paperwork and wasn't massively triggered. It's at a really good spot and lower than I thought it would be, but I actually feel really indifferent to it. That's a huge win and a HUGE FU to my ED brain.

Today is the first day I have felt truly grounded in weeks. Maybe months even. I feel like I can exist in this life and everything will be ok. Being here is tolerable.

Today was both beautiful and dark. We had the highest highs and some big lows. Meaningful progress was made in some really important areas, while massive setbacks took place in others. This is life. It's messy. I'm still struggling with how to balance the intense contradiction of emotion, but I'm starting to see these can co-exist. I can be happy and excited for the positives in my personal life and feel sad and defeated about these political tragedies. What I know for sure is I'm not done fighting this, and in the meantime I will do everything I can to make sure that the people I love have access to the healthcare they need.

#personal #emotional day #roe v wade #abortion is healthcare #pregnancy #first trimester #triple rainbow baby #pregnancy after losses

[healthremedyhub]

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The information and content provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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[satrangee-ray]

Meet my MC: About the Present

Inara Hepburn (she/they)

More below the cut—

Career:

Inara has recently taken over as the Leader of the Diagnostics Team, Bloom Edenbrook, from the former DT head and current Chief of Medicine, Dr. Ethan Ramsey. Applications for the fourth open position has been received, (Landrat had applied, lol), and after a consultation with the Chief and the board, Dr. Aquino (immunologist), who had previously been considered for the same position has been recruited.

With Bloom's complete withdrawal of control from the functioning of any internal teams, Inara has brought back the voting procedure for selection of cases. So, unless there's any emergency in which the leader needs to make an immediate decision, all cases accepted shall now require the consent of majority members in the team. In case there's a 2-2 situation, the case which the leader sides with gets selected. 

On days when she gets lesser or easier cases, Inara makes time to visit Baz and Elijah in the research lab and enquire about their latest mind-blowing discoveries. Though she will never consider shifting to full time research, she had had too much fun interacting with the mice on her first time there, and she wants to know more in that department.

Inara is also working on a third book, their first non-fiction one, specifically a memoir to document their 3-year long rollercoaster ride of a residency. The book is called 'Hepburn's Stethoscope'.

They have a verified, monetized YouTube channel, and a Pictagram page, where they post assertive, informative, and satirical content regarding the healthcare industry, myths and loopholes, as well as the queer community, its current socio-economic-cultural standing, practical ways to deal with queerphobia, and allyship. The full sum of money obtained from these are donated to a Boston based queer charity Inara works closely with. 

Friends and family dynamics:

The only relatives in her bloodline, i.e. her aunt's family, occasionally converse with her virtually. Though she never goes into talking much about her feelings, they are more or less aware of her whereabouts.

Vaani and Ayan continue to remain thick as thieves with her. The three still obsessively share every single detail of their lives with each other in their group chat. 

Apart from their two closest friends and a personal diary, Inara had always found small talk worthless, and most other people unsuitable for a meaningful conversation, let alone deep personal bonds. But after Edenbrook, everything has changed. Now Inara has a whole gang of friends comprising themselves, Sienna, Jackie, Aurora, Elijah, Bryce, Rafael and Kyra. They are all like a set of long lost siblings, somehow united by medicine, destined to share the most wholesome bond for an entire lifetime.

Naveen is the cool grandpa Inara didn't know they needed, and over music and teasing Ethan, they both have grown quite close. At work, the trio is often called the 'three musketeers of Edenbrook' by their colleagues. They are known for conquering mysteries that conquer humankind through generations. 

Relationship with their LI:

There is no doubt that Inara's path to getting together with Ethan, or even initially forming an honest friendship, was rocky. There were too many walls built up around both of them, and disintegrating every single one took time. But by the end of Inara's second year, they both had managed to start officially dating. After a year now, they are in a committed relationship, co-parenting their pup Jenner. 

Ethan had popped the moving in question at the end of her residency, and Inara was initially hesitant, cause as much as she wanted to stay with her partner, she didn't want to reside in someone's house free of any monetary contribution from her side. After several discussions regarding this matter, the couple decided to let Inara fund most of the domestic groceries, and hence they moved into Ethan's condo together.

As individuals, Ethan and Inara are extremely similar in certain aspects, and vastly different in others. Their morals, principles, limited social energy, outlook on the medical industry, and political views could easily align with each other; to some extent even their part time pessimism when it comes to themselves. But their go-to drink orders, general music taste and tolerance level for interns might qualify as some things that two might differ on. They try to keep up with the best of both worlds, though! Inara accompanies Ethan on opera dates, Ethan reads and marvels at translated lyrics of Rabindra Sangeet. They tried swapping their patent cosmopolitan and scotch neat at the bar one evening, only to spit out the very first sip they took, and Inara had conducted a whole orientation for Ethan on why intern wrangling is essential, enriching, and to be conducted with grace.

The nicknames they have for each other are oddly time, place, and mood specific, so here we go–

1. Ethan @ Inara: Darling, Love (on a usual day); Nars (when he's just so done with them), Rookie (on special occasions, when he can't help but be overwhelmed by their sheer brilliance, or the magnitude of his unadulterated love for them).

2. Inara @ Ethan: E (all day every day), Ramsey (posing a challenge or threat purposes); Baby (teasing purposes); literally any and every ethyl group compound under the sun (purpose of expressing annoyance, greater the annoyance, longer and more complicated the compound).

It is no secret that both Ethan and Inara have had a pretty troubled past, and the hurdles along their relationship have only resurfaced the trauma. So, they have mutually decided to enter therapy, and they both believe that moving forward, it would help them build a future together based solely on love, trust, and honesty, devoid of any baggage from the past.

That was it! My entry for today... tell me how you liked it. I'm enjoying this moodboard making way to much for my own liking, watch me be obsessed ya'll. Good day <3.

Tagging: @openheartfanfics @adiehardfan @barbean

#choices open heart #open heart fanfiction #mc x ethan #dr ethan ramsey #naveen banerji #open heart gang #meet my mc #Inara Hepburn

[rox-and-prose]

Feel free to ignore if this question is inappropriate. How do you know if transition is the right move? I think I'm trans but it seems like such a hard road to take on and I wonder if I'm better off keeping it to myself as much as I can.

First things first: If you think you’re trans, you probably are. The next thing I want to say is that the narrative that trans people just know, that we just have inherent knowledge of our gender, and that we know at a young age is a garbage narrative. It’s the one cis people are the most comfortable with, though, and as a result it’s the most prevalent one. 

The first thing to note is that self diagnosis is helpful. I think all of the therapists I’ve talked to have said that, whether or not they were the therapist I was currently going to for my own mental health. They can’t tell you what’s going on in your head, only you can.* It’s also why trans people like to point out what I said earlier, that if you feel like you’re another gender, then you probably are; cis people don’t tend to question their gender as much as we do. 

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you that you will ever be 100% certain. I wasn’t. Not until I took my first dose of hormones. The instant I did, I felt better. Happier. I mean, I still have doubts, but I remember that change. I may still be a depressed, neurotic mess, but I am happier with my gender, I am happier with who i see in the mirror. The best and possibly only way to tell if taking the step to transition is the right one is to take it. 

Taking that step is hard and the road leads to challenges. It is a difficult step to make. You don’t have to keep going if you decide it doesn’t fit, but if you decide to stop entirely because you’re worried about social backlash, it’s just gonna make you more miserable in the long run. The important thing is to do it for you and to do it safely.

However, what the step IS may not be what you think it is.

I’m gonna hide that under the cut because this has already taken up a lot of space.

I gotta back up a bit because there’s more to transition than just medication and i think it merits noting. The first thing is social transition. Social transition is pretty much what it sounds like: taking steps to present as your gender in social situations. You have to take baby steps. If you try to do it all at once, it will be overwhelming and you will eventually stop entirely. Take the steps you feel comfortable taking, and then try to take a step a little outside that comfort until the new step becomes comfortable and then take a new small one.

For me, I first started experimenting at home with the right clothing and stuff. When it came time to go out in public, I mostly just painted my nails a lot. I mean a LOT. I still have an absurd amount of nail polish because it felt like the safest way to express that part of me. Then I started buying the right clothing. Women’s clothing. MY clothing. Well okay, a friend did that for me at first because I’m full of anxiety, but eventually I did this for myself. After a while, I did start wearing the right clothing outside, but nothing extremely noticeable to start. I kept adding things to my daily wear but only things I actually wanted to try. I would say that’s important as well, that you should only take the steps you want or feel compelled to take. Anything else is superfluous imo. 

Next is therapy. I was already seeing a psychiatrist for my meds but, after I realized how important this side of me was, I went to a therapist. I was lucky enough to find one who specialized in gender studies but I know that isn’t always possible. With him, I set up a plan for myself: If I still wanted hormones after a year of testing the waters with this stuff, I would ask for them. I uh….I didn’t make it to a year. I’m impatient and impulsive but i think I still made it like 10 months. Regardless, you will likely need to see a therapist before you can get hormones prescribed. It will also help by giving you a place to explore these things out loud. I would recommend looking up therapists that have experience with trans healthcare if possible. If not, try to ask some trans people in your area for recs, online or otherwise.

During this time I tried adding things to my daily wear, though not all of it was obvious or even visible. I started thinking of how it would feel to be recognized as a woman. I thought about that a lot. I tried to focus on the nice parts. That’s the main thing, really.  

I had doubts. I still, to this day, wonder about it. But then I look in the mirror and I see me. That’s what transition is really all about. It’s about seeing yourself in the mirror. 

 * still important to note that you won’t always be right because that’s just unlikely and going to a doc or therapist or whatever is necessary to double check and, if you want, to get officially diagnosed.

#roxy answers #anon #transition info #trans people are welcomed to weigh in

[deardiary1993]

My NICU Story (Moments I'll Never Get To Have)

My precious baby girl was born on July 6th of 2018 at 5:53pm.

On the day of her birth, I was not the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or even 10th person to lay eyes on her, much less was I able to hold her, as soon as they pulled her out of me she was rushed away, sickly and in shock, she had inheld meconium due to me going over term with her.

click here to read: Going Over-Term Almost Killed My Baby

My birth plan was to hold her as soon as she came out, it was to do skin to skin and delayed cord clamping for 20ish minutes and then to have my husband cut it, it was to practice breastfeeding and to bond as a family just the three of us until I finally let our other relatives in so they could all coo over her and pass her around, but that's not what happened.

They rushed her to NICU accompanied by my husband, as I finished being sewed up and then sent to recovery. My husband later met me in recovery and shared photos of her with me. This was my first true look at my daughter who honestly looked awful and pale with wires protruding out of her.

Later that evening they did allow me to visit her in NICU only for a few short moments because my temperature was dropping and they wanted to get me warm again. My first viewing of my baby looked nothing like the child I have today; she laid inside a glass box on top of a receiving blanket and towel, wearing nothing but a diaper and her cluster of wires, her small 6lbs, and 12oz frame, sat with her legs spread out but the palms of her feet pointed toward one another like a little frog, and her little fist clenched tight resting next to each of her shoulders, she was asleep, and from my hospital bed I could only reach her little knee which I held on to our whole brief visit until my family and I were rushed out of the room and sent to another room on a lower floor that I would be residing in for the next few days; there, people would come to visit me and I hated it, I didn't want to see friends or family, I wanted my baby and I knew that they were there to see my baby, not really to see me, but she was in NICU and no one, not even I, could touch her, every visitor was just a reminder of our untraditional circumstances.

A little background on me personally, is that I like to be in control, I have always had a natural leadership air to me, and my husband is usually okay with sitting back and allowing me to make decisions, especially regarding myself and our child, but after my C-section and the heavy drugs they put me on, the process of thinking everything out and speaking up was greatly compromised, I was in an ignorant bliss, my baby was here, and she was alive, Yes, things went wrong and she's sick, but she's alive and she's going to get better. This mindset kept me from getting overwhelmed but looking back it also allowed me to be run over, time after time, during the next 6 days dealing with the NICU.

I assume it was the next day when I finally got to spend a little more time with my baby (but through the drugs, I'm not too sure about the passage of time while we were in the hospital).

This time she was in a full-on incubator and we had to slide our hands into these little holes to be able to touch her, we took photos and videos and the nurses even allowed my husband to feed and burp our little baby girl, which was particularly tricky to do through the little armholes, but it was overall a joyous experience, perhaps that's why I didn't make much of a fuss when I found out they were feeding my girl formula, which very much bothered me considering that I wanted to exclusively breastfeed her.

When I got back to my room I insisted on doing what I had to to get my baby some 'mommas milk' and the nurses provided me with a pump and little instruction on how to work it, little by little my husband and I figured it out and I pumped day and night every three hours and he would run the syringes upstairs to the NICU to give to her.

A visit or two later to the NICU the nurse finally allowed me to hold her and to breastfeed her, which was the happiest day of my life, I finally had her in my arms. The busy lactation consultant gave me a few pointers but seemed in a hurry and rushed out rather fast seeming less than optimistic about our success, but alone, at last, Baby and I quickly mastered it.

My husband and I made a habit to be in NICU as much as possible after that, to hold her and to feed her, we would play her Disney music and pass her between ourselves, giggling at her facial expressions and "dancing" with her, it was that family bonding experience I wanted day one and it was beautiful and perfect, until of course, the nurse came in and took her from me.

"Its time for her to go to bed, shes burning too many calories," she said as she placed the baby back into her fish tank of a bed. My world shattered. Our moment was taken from us and in its place was left heartbreak and guilt, I held in tears as we left the NICU floor and later cried to my husband feeling ashamed for selfishly wanting more time with her when it was hurting her.

Within this experience, we met a NICU nurse named Jan. Jan was protective over our little baby which we appreciated, but she had very little respect for us, assuming, I guess, that we were a lot younger than we were. She constantly hovered over us while we were with our baby only allowing us a brief period of holding her before taking her away, as well as offering us rather uneducated/untrue advice such as to let the baby sleep in a rock and play at night 

click here to read about the dangers of using an RNP for sleep

and that moving too fast while holding the baby could cause Baby Shaking Syndrome, she also made a point to criticize our convertible car seat, but overall I was able to shake Jan off, the only thing she did that I wish I reported her for was when she fed my baby formula on the day we were coming to take Baby home from NICU. She fed her formula despite having more than enough breastmilk and she said she did it because it held the baby over longer (AKA she didn't want to have to keep feeding her), under normal circumstances I would have made my feelings known but this was pick up day, I was excited, so I let it slide. After that we left the hospital buckled Baby in the car and drove away, leaving the NICU and that awful experience as a memory.

Let's be honest though, no matter what NICU I was in, no experience would have been a good one,

nothing is pleasant about your child being taken from you and put alone in another dark room, nothing will ever make you feel more jealous than hearing other new parents down the hall from you holding their beautiful babies while yours is being poked with needles by strangers, nothing hurts quite like driving home from the hospital on your check-out day with an empty car seat behind you.

Having a baby in the NICU sucks, and you feel bad for feeling so cheated because at least your baby is alive and some people don't even get that, but its okay to mourn those missed moments with your baby, I think about the ordeal often and I cry.

My birth plan was to selflessly do the best possible things I could do for my baby, and I did, I gave her to the NICU and they saved her life.

___________________________________________________

Charity of the day:

Shriners Hospitals for Children has a mission to:

Provide the highest quality care to children with neuromusculoskeletal conditions, burn injuries and other special healthcare needs within a compassionate, family-centered and collaborative care environment.

Provide for the education of physicians and other healthcare professionals.

Conduct research to discover new knowledge that improves the quality of care and quality of life of children and families.

This mission is carried out without regard to race, color, creed, sex or sect, disability, national origin, or the ability of a patient or family to pay.

Click here to donate to Shriner's Hospital For Children

#NICU #nicu parent #nicu mom #MAS #Meconium aspiration syndrome #parenting #mom life #newborn #pregnancy #july 6th 2018

[acaseforpencils]

The Ink Well Foundation.

The Ink Well Foundation is a non-profit that helps bring smiles to the faces of children facing adversity such as illness, neglect, and abuse. I cannot begin to express how big of an honor it is to have Elizabeth Winter on Case—this interview brought me to tears, and it means a lot to share her message on here, so that you all can help more children in need to be able to connect with this incredible foundation.

Bio: I am the Founder and Executive Director of the Ink Well Foundation. Growing up, I had cancer my entire childhood—it was a rare cancer that kept getting misdiagnosed, which meant a fair amount of biopsies and days in the hospital, and finally major surgery where I was told I might wake up without a leg. I am very fortunate in that the doctors were able to remove all the cancer without amputating, and I have been cancer-free since I was about 20 years old. 

That experience gave me a lot of empathy and compassion for kids facing long, isolating hospital stays. There were also other issues during my childhood: I experienced a lot of abandonment with a mother who just could not play the role of mother, and who eventually died when I was fifteen. In general, I just had a pretty severe lack of affection and emotional support growing up. All that made me very tough, in some ways too tough and it wound up creating only further isolation and pain. 

As an adult, I saw that pain mirrored in other children's eyes and I began to seek out a way to connect with them, to help them and myself learn to nurture and heal together. I strongly feel that genuine human bonding can fuel both physical and emotional healing. I also think getting out into nature and carrying that same respect to all wildlife helps us to become humble and connected in a very powerful way, so we stress those ideas in our work often.

In 2005, I was working in animation in New York City, and I stood up in a meeting at work one day, and asked if any of the other artists would like to come along with me to draw with kids facing illness and hardship. A couple people raised their hands, and we went together to Gilda's Club out in Brooklyn (that club house has since closed, but we still go to the one in Manhattan). The artists who came along in those early years, like Rami Efal and Ray Alma, Pedro Delgado and Sergei Aniskov—those people are all still volunteers today! That says so much to me about the kind of people this work attracts. We've all become like family over the years and I love those guys so much. 

It all began at Gilda's Club, but then I reached out to places like the Ronald McDonald House, St. Mary's Hospital and Bellevue Hospitals, and we slowly but surely became accepted and welcomed at healthcare and at-risk support centers all across New York, because the kids loved what we did, and at then end of every event they were begging us to come back. So we always did! That is the true mark of success for me every time, when the kids are yelling at us to get back there as soon as we can.

A few years ago, I learned about the great organization on the Upper East Side, The Society of Illustrators. Their Executive Director, Anelle Miller, connected me with all these other great artists like Stefano Imbert, Bil Donovan, Abby Merrill, and Elana Amity (who is now our Event Director at Mount Sinai Hospital, where she hosts a monthly live drawing call-in show that beams to all the kids' hospital rooms at once). They draw along with us and call or text in with questions and comments. It's hilarious and adorable. We also connected with the great people of the National Cartoonists Society, and wonderful artists like Ed Steckley, Adrian Sinnott, Howard Beckerman, Tim Savage, Marty Macaluso, Joe Vissichelli and so many more. 

After MTV Animation New York shut down, pretty much all my colleagues and I from great shows like Beavis and Butthead, Daria, The Head, and Celebrity Death Match all moved out west. So I had this great group of talented friends still living there, and based on the Ink Well's popularity in NYC, I thought, let's give it a shot there too! I reached out to my former colleague from Rugrats and Wild Thornberrys, Joseph Scott, and asked if he'd be interested in running things there. He is now heading up all our operations in L.A. and he is just the most phenomenally kind and talented person on earth. With his art skills he could do whatever he wanted but he devotes a huge amount of time to the kids we work with and I'm so moved by his giving spirit and boundless good energy. And Michael Daedalus Kenny is also stepping up in a leadership role as our newest Event Director, we've got amazing artists like Marla Frazee of Boss Baby genius, Monica Tomova from SpongeBob, Jeanette Moreno, king of The Simpsons, Chris Harmon from Futurama, Ashley Simpson from Phineas and Ferb, Christian Lignan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, graphic novelist, Jeremy Arambulo and so many others so we're in great hands there. I just wish the traffic weren't such a problem! It really is tough to get around that city, unlike NYC where there's a decently functioning subway that goes to all our locations, so getting around is no real trouble comparatively.

Tools of choice:  Our events are usually very handmade by design so that the kids can feel like they could do all of this easily by themselves. So we come up with themes like, “Who is your Superhero?,” and we ask the kids to focus on their strengths and what superpowers they wish they would have, and we draw their portraits as such. We are not art therapists, but we feel these event themes help to make the kids focus on positivity and their potential, and therefore help them to bond and heal. 

We do sometimes get more elaborate, like when we teach stop motion, claymation, and we once even taught them how to build homemade rockets on the roof of Bellevue Hospital! One of our Event Directors at the time, Nathan Schreiber, used to come up with the most fantastic science-focused events. He now runs a company called Science Ninjas, that helps kids learn about science with fun card games. But usually it's simple by design.

We are extremely fortunate to have Blick Arts as a sponsor. Their support enables us to provide each child with their own art kit after each event so that they can keep creating on their own after they learn new skills with us so thanks to them we have a lot of the arts tools we need.

Tool I wish existed: I think we do great working with anything we've got lying around- we emphasize the potential of just about anything to become art: we often create characters out of inanimate objects, make flip books, sculptures and puppets— using everything from card stock to socks to toothpicks and gum drops. We keep it accessible and inventive. 

How can we support The Ink Well Foundation? Because our volunteers are by definition "the artists behind the kids' favorite books, films, comics, and TV shows," we don't solicit volunteers from the general public. We do have an online application on our site, so other professionals that meet our criteria in the illustration, animation, and cartooning industries are welcome to apply there. 

What the general public can do is to help us spread the word so that more children can see that others are going through what they're going through, and also so that they see examples of adults believing in them and encouraging them. We try to promote the idea of art as self-expression and a way to get through trying times, ideally together. Connectivity and encouragement are critical to healing, and honestly, to just building a better world. So we talk about that a lot on our social media and at the events themselves. We also honor the kids' intelligence by talking about art in general there— we highlight classic and new artists and ideas and encourage them to learn from those masters as they develop their own skills.

Because we are a very small 100% volunteer-run organization, we focus on giving the kids the greatest events possible, and sometimes that means we don't have a lot of time for social media, self-promotion, and fund-raising. So spreading the word is huge and we are always extremely grateful for, and in need of, any financial donations. 

Where are Ink Well Foundation events held? We operate in New York City and Los Angeles because that's where the top artists in our fields are concentrated. We go to hospitals and at-risk support centers like Ronald McDonald House, Gilda's Club, Bellevue, St. Mary's, Mount Sinai, Childhelp, Covenant House and more. You can see the full list here. 

How can children who don't live near Ink Well Foundation events benefit from your Pen Pals Program? This is another reason we want people to spread the word. Loved ones of a child experiencing serious illness or hardship, who is physically or geographically unable to attend our events, can apply to have a special artwork sent straight to them. We ask the kids what their favorite animated films, TV shows, or illustrated books are, and then we have an artist who actually worked on that production make something tailored to that child. We then frame it up, and send it off to them by mail. 

We've done this with artists from SpongeBob, Captain Underpants, and just a week ago, we delivered a beautiful drawing of Curious George that our Event Directors, Franz Palomares and Lisa LaBracio (both of whom worked on Curious George) lovingly made. This was for a girl named, Maryanne who lives in Florida. She suffers from a rare disease called, vein of galen malformation that has led to brain damage and vision loss. She is unable to talk or walk or eat through her mouth and she suffers seizures but she understands everything around her, and she can feel texture. So Franz and Lisa made her Curious George playing in a sand box, and they glued real sand into the picture, so that Maryanne could feel that, and enjoy the art on multiple levels. Maryanne's mother, Sandra, said that she was thrilled, and that she loves to hold it. 

Our hearts are full being able to share these works with kids who need that moment of light, and that knowledge that an adult they admire, someone who doesn't even know them well, can care enough about them to take the time to create careful, tailor-made artworks just for them. We hope that helps to bring a smile in the moment, and build self-worth long term.

Misc. I'd like to mention that everything we do is 100% free of charge. No one gets paid, no money ever changes hands for the art. We have brilliant artists like Peter de Séve who is on our board and attends many events, while also creating characters for Ice Age, The Little Prince, and all his New Yorker covers. He could get a mint for his works, but he comes down and does this for free, and that's a testament to the power of that loving connection we all feel when we are just selflessly helping one another.

I feel this most acutely when I'm working with youth who have suffered abuse and neglect. We have an Event Director, Jane Archer, who leads our work at Bellevue Hospital. Many of those kids are there because they have been through unendurable trauma, and Jane connects with them beautifully. She begins with a meditation where we all envision our strengths together, we talk about our talents, and hopes for a brighter day, we imagine embodying those gifts and then we gently, patiently, ask the kids to help us draw characters step by step. Many kids start out very suspicious and resistant, even angry. But by the end of the events they are almost always laughing and teasing us, and they don't want to stop creating. It is my greatest joy to experience that transition and I hope we may continue to spread this support and faith in one another for many years to come.

Website, Etc: 

We are @inkwellkids on every platform:

Website

Facebook 

Instagram

Twitter

Find more posts about art supplies on Case’s Instagram! There is a Twitter as well. If you enjoy this blog, and would like to contribute to labor and maintenance costs, there is also a Patreon!

#ink well foundation #elizabeth winter #ink well foundation kids

[dxmedstudent]

Hey I'm final year biomedic and I've applied to med school in the UK but i'm a bit worried considering the state the NHS is in at the moment... Is the job still enjoyable/manageable despite the serious lack of funding?

Hey! Fellow biomed! That’s an interesting question. There are always articles floating around about how terrible it is in the NHS, and also articles about how bad it was in the ‘good old days’. Now, I wasn’t around 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago (as a doctor, I mean. I most certainly did exist!), so I can’t say whether the articles about the bad/good old days are true. But the articles about now? Most of it is correct. The NHS is understaffed (most rotas have empty slots; most rotas I’ve worked in certainly have). Previous hospital closures, an ageing population and increased pressures mean people are waiting longer in A&E, meaning when people like me are oncall there are more sick people waiting to be seen than there were before. Hospitals are always short of beds. Cuts to social care mean we are struggling to send vulnerable old patients or those with disabilities home, which causes them misery and the hospital further bed shortages and delays. Understaffing, whether due to rota gaps or sickness, means we all have to work harder to make up the difference, which contributes to menal illness and burnout. It’s tough on us, but we learn to cope as best as we can. I’m wondering how we’ll cope this winter, but then again, I wonder every winter, then I just do the best I can. Many of us feel that training is inadequate; it can feel like you’re left to your own devices to seek opportunities, train yourself and do your exams. That’s probably why we get so mad when the public talk about forcing docs to stay in the NHS for X years to ‘pay back their training’; most of our training is us teaching ourselves, and learning through our colleagues. I can say that most people I know in medicine have experienced mental illness, usually anxiety or depression. I know a shedload of people with IBS. Everyone has impostor syndrome. Most people I know have considered leaving medicine, at least once. Plenty of people end up taking time out of training to work out what they want to do. Some people go part time. Some people go into non-clinical specialities; in my experience  it’s often because of exhausting experiences with people. I have to admit that not everyone is very nice; sometimes patients or their relatives are hostile. Sometimes colleagues wear us down. Sometimes the work environment itself does. So many people feel worn down, and I’m not going to downplay the seriousness of the abuse many people experience. That said, I still enjoy medicine, much to the surprise of my family, who I rant to frequently. In my few years as a doctor, I’ve had grown men cry when I ‘fixed’ their agonising trigeminal neuralgia. I’ve set patients with anxiety or depression on a road to discovery; you can’t imagine how amazing it is to see somoene smile after several consultations seeing them cry. I’ve helped marriages, where one partner’s vaginal symptoms were preventing much desired intimacy. I’ve had the ‘bad news’ talk with relatives, only for the patient to recover, and to share their family’s happiness. I’ve also shared their sadness when patients passed away. It’s still incredibly rewarding when you diagnose someone and give them something which makes them better. It’s an amazing feeling when you reassure a new mum that her baby is going to be OK. When your patient with recurrent miscarriages makes it to term. When you deliver a baby for the first time. When someone who came in looking like absolute death gets to go home well again. When you first spot something serious. When you realise your gut instinct was right. When you allow someone to live a comfortable life. When you make sure that someone has a good death; free from pain, surrounded by loved ones. Even if you can’t make someone better, you can always do your best to make them feel better. That’s my rule.I’ve treated what feels like a million infections, reassured a million patients, and had a million chats with family members. Sometimes things can feel samey, and I admit that sometimes it just feels like an exhausting never-ending stream of pressure. But there’s still so many rewarding experiences, that rarely does a shift go by without me feeling like I’m doing something worthwhile. Last weekend, I had a patient who was bleeding severely, probably from their inperable bowel cancer. They were palliative; we were so limited in what we could do. But we staunched the bleeding, and gave them valuable time with their loved ones. Even days after I went back to my regular ward, I’d bump into their family in the corridor, and they’d update me and thank me. Yes, the system is under a huge amount of pressure, and we’re often exhausted and at the ends of our tethers. It’s, frankly, an exhausting career; there are much easier ways to make money and have nicer hours, and have more time to live a nice normal life. And I absolutely do not think less of anyone who leaves medicine to have a happier life. Or anyone who says ‘well, that’s not for me. Because yes, it’s a difficult life. I know people who tell me they wish they’d never gone into medicine, and I can’t deny their truth. It really does push some of us into burnout, and some of us need to leave for our sanity. I’m not joking when I say medicine’s for people with hero complexes; I think there’s a little of that in all of us. We want to help people, to make things better. We’re driven, clever, hardworking, stubborn and kind. And it takes a huge toll on us sometimes. But it’s part of us, and many of us find it fulfilling, despite the problems. And I don’t think you’ll ever know if you never try. I can’t promise I’ll stay in medicine forever (and I don’t believe in trying to predict the future, but making the best decision for ourselves whenever the time comes), but at least I’ll know that I did my best. And I’ll know where my story led. I’ve experienced so much through medicine that I never would have seen, learned so much about people and human nature, and been fortunate enough to help people in so many ways. And for that I’ll always be thankful. Good luck with your finals and with your application. :) I can’t tell you whether medicine will be right for you, or even what medicine will look at in 6 years time when you’ll graduate from medicine. Only you know how much you want to see for yourself, and whether you feel you’ll enjoy it.  By that point I might even be almost a consultant… or a GP; it’s a long time when it comes to the healthcare service and what conditions might be like. So it’s hard to predict just what you and I may have to deal with in the future. But I’ll be trying my best to deal with things one day at a time. Which is all we can do, I guess. So that’s my advice; take things one step at a time and see what happens.

#askdx #ask dx #junior doctorhood #personal #my life #medicine #doctor #junior doctor #life on the wards #the ward life

[getoffthesoapbox]

Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I was wondering if you could help me understand the science/biology in VK and the logic behind a cure. I understand it from a pacifist perspective, but it doesn't make sense to me in terms of classifications and genetics. Considering that Yori's grandkids attend her funeral, aren't vampires a subspecies to humans? I'm also surprised vampire-born is treated as a disease instead of human-turned-vampire. Plus, how would they go about treatment for all vampires? (O_O)

(Anon who asked about VK science) I didn’t have enough room to finish, sorry… But thinking about what I just said… I guess the cure would treat both naturally born vampires and human-turned, but I thought in the beginning there was a clear divide between the two. And in the case of just vampires, you would be looking at their DNA? Anyway, I just want to add that I just recently got back into the series, so I might be misunderstanding A LOT, but I love your (and everyone else’s) analyses :)

Oh, what a fun ask, my friend! Thanks for bringing it my way. ;)

I think a portion of the problem we have here is that…Hino is a lazy writer who knows her audience probably isn’t a bunch of scientists who can point out how crap her science is. Unfortunately, I’m a creative type myself, so I can’t point out whether her internal logic works or not on a scientific level, but I think I can help piece together what we do know, and then speculate further based on where I think she’s going with this. ;) You can let me know if I miss anything from where you’re standing.

Okay so, here’s what we know for sure:

Purebloods existed before 10,000 years ago, but they were scattered–a great climate change erupted and they suddenly realized there were more of them. (It’s kinda implied Kaname might be Dracula, since he forgot his name, lol.)

These first Purebloods are what we’d call the “Progenitors.” They are all born to human parents and were probably created by some sort of viral infection or it’s some kind of viral mutation that had permanent effects on the initial subjects (at least as far as I can tell within Hino’s worldbuilding), and something (never specified) happened to either “switch” certain people’s Pureblood genetics from “off” to “on” or it distorted an already existing gene into a Pureblood gene. Either way, the effect’s the same–something in the DNA got warped.

In other words, Purebloods are likely a species mutation or evolution, depending on how positively or negatively you want to view the genetic switch. This would make vampirism less of a disease (which would require an external parasite or bacteria) and more of an issue with the genes themselves (probably more akin to a spontaneous cancer, only one that actually effects more than just the internal organs)

Okay, so then you have the vampire “types” that spawn from Purebloods. Purebloods are the eternally lived types who can actually activate or give the vampire gene in/to other people (but this “enslaves” the new vampire to the sire thanks to the sire’s blood being in the new vampire’s bloodstream–Kaname calls this “poison” in the story, and it allows Purebloods to exert their will within other vampires). Purebloods, of course can’t be killed by anything before the invention of the anti-vampire weapons. Next up are nobles, who are probably the offspring of Purebloods and other vampires with the least amount of “human” in them. Nobles age faster, aren’t as long lived, and can’t make servants, giving them more “human” qualities (likely another mutation of the gene). Then there are Level Cs, who are likely the offspring of, say, humans and nobles (such as Aidou and Yori), who would also have shorter lifespans than nobles and be susceptible to regular weapons. Then there are Level Ds, who are the “turned” former-human vampires such as Zero. Then at last there are Level Es, who are Level Ds who go rabid because their formerly human bodies can’t deal with the vampire gene being switched on.

We can assume vampires lower than Pureblood can be killed by normal means (the literature is a little…contradictory on this; Kaname’s past implies people needed the weapons to deal with the massive army of Level D servants, but since only hunters can wield anti-v weapons, and since Takuma kills a Level E back in arc 1, at some point it must have been discovered that Level Es–who are really just insane Level Ds–can be killed by regular weapons). Ruka worries about Kain in VKM 12 after a bomb going off, which means Hino’s probably establishing that anything less than a Pureblood can be killed by normal human means. Plus, nobles and lower are no real threat to humanity since they can’t turn humans–they can only be a parasitic nuisance by stealing blood. No biggie, you can deal with them like regular criminals. The problem, as Kaname and the Hooded Woman note, is the Purebloods.

Ultimately the “cure” is mostly necessary for the Purebloods, but once it’s created, it should be able to take care of any lesser form of the vampiric gene, because all vampires come from the same “source” generally speaking–the Progenitors who had the genes switched on in the first place.

In the past, Kaname begins performing experiments to see if he can do something about the Purebloods’ ability to regenerate and turn humans. His research takes him into two directions: 1.) a weapon to destroy the Purebloods period, and 2.) a potential cure for vampirism. His research on #2 goes nowhere during the Ancestor period, and he leaves his records in the Kuran Manor basement. Instead, he manages to get a breakthrough on the weapons. The breakthrough on the weapons requires the sacrifice of the blood and heart of the person who will become them.

The Hooded Woman steals the march on Kaname, throws her heart in the forge, and feeds the remainder of her blood to the Hunters (thus creating a line of men and women who carry her genetics within their bodies, although they’re still human). This Hunter line is what eventually takes us to the future where Kaien, Zero and Ichiru are born. 

We know that the Hooded Woman’s genetics screw up the human birth process in women who carry hunter babies (whether the woman is hunter herself or human doesn’t matter). If that woman has twins, one twin will “eat” the other (this likely happens for vampires too). This is what is known as the “cursed twins.” Kaien is a completed one of these–a.k.a., a twin who ate his twin in the womb. 

Zero on the other hand is different from Kaien. Zero is the “first” twin to not eat his twin in the womb. Ichiru is born, and the fragment is not completed. Kaname takes a canon interest in this during the course of the story. The stated “reason” for this is that he just wanted to create a weapon against the Purebloods–but uh, if that was the case, any hunter should do for that purpose. =P What was unique about Zero was that his genetics defeated the vampiric genes within the womb. That meant there was “something special about Zero.”

Obviously something backfired during the course of the original series, and probably with Zero turning vampire Kaname gave up on his research since he felt Zero would be useless if he wasn’t human. Instead he switched to just using Zero as a shield for Yuuki and a potential monster against the Purebloods later on. However, it’s important to note that Kaname had the Night Class (and Aidou) creating the first tablets that could curb vampires’ thirst, so he was still experimenting with ways to fix the vampire problem.

Last, and this is also relevant, we know that any vampire can be turned human again by a Pureblood’s sacrificing their life. Isaya’s wife did this to their child, Juri did this to Yuuki, Yuuki does this to Kaname. Hino’s world science is settled that you can “flip off” the gene, and you can also flip it back on via another Pureblood biting and feeding the formerly-vampire human and turning them back. The narrative basically is solidly established that this gene can be flipped on and off with the right sacrifice. Unfortunately, this only works on a one-to-one basis (Isaya’s wife can only turn one child, Juri can only turn Yuuki, Yuuki can only turn Kaname, etc.) It doesn’t work for a universal cure. This is where Zero, or a Zero/Yuuki combination, or Ren will come in. ;)

At the end of the original series, we have it confirmed that Aidou was able to complete Kaname’s research and create a drug that turns vampires human, which could not be used on Kaname due to his heart being too scorched from the forge. So we know for sure that some way, somehow, Aidou was able to complete the cure. The only question is “how.”

Cue events of the story, and here we are in the present time with Aidou’s research picking up where Kaname left off.

What we know about the current state of the research:

Aidou discovers that there was a “missing component” that wasn’t found during Kaname’s Ancestor experimentation days (because Kaname’s notes are from before the sacrifice of the Hooded Woman.

This “missing component” is Kaien’s special genetics. We know Kaien is a completed twin with the Hooded Woman’s genetics in him.

Now, here’s where Hino gets kinda vague–we don’t know exactly what Aidou needs from Kaien. Is it a blood sample? Is it a bone sample? Is it a heart sample? Who knows! Likely a blood sample will do for now, so we’ll just “assume” for the sake of simplicity that’s what Aidou’s working with.

We know Aidou’s research is currently failing to accomplish what he wants, which means likely whatever’s going in Kaien’s blood is a step in the right direction, but it’s not the key to the cure. This brings us back to Zero, remember, who in the womb was able to defeat the twin curse. This means Zero’s genetics likely were able to “switch off” the vampiric genes within him. Kind of like people who are born to HIV+ parents who end up immune to HIV. (Yay evolution!)

What are the potential ways the cure might come about and be created, based on what Hino’s set up?

Okay the first way is the easiest–we just need blood donations! This variant requires no sacrifice on anyone’s part; Aidou just needs the requisite amount of blood from Zero (or Ren, or Zero and Yuuki together, or Kaien), and mix it in the right quantity with whatever else he’s got in his experiment, and presto chango, we have a pill vampires can take that can switch “off” the vampiric genes.

However, we know from the forge business that most of Kaname’s research required some kind of magic “sacrifice” on the part of the person providing the solution. The “cure” may also require some sort of sacrifice, such as a specific organ like a heart or the brain in addition to the blood. Or it may require that the subject be dead so that the gene can’t be “switched back” once it’s in the body of the cured subjects. Hino has a bit of magic in this story, so this is where the science gets a little fuzzy. ;) 

I had a very old theory (a long time ago, back when I thought Kaname was doing the cure solution in the original series) that you would need Zero to drink all the bloodlines of all the Purebloods in order to create the cure. (This was all based on an offhand comment Kaname makes in the 70s about feeling bad he has to “let” Zero drink from Sara). If this is the case, the cure may not be possible unless all “strains” of the genetic defect are accounted for within it–basically kind of like counteracting a bunch of viral mutations. If Zero’s blood only has, say Kurans and Toumas in it, his “cure” will only cure people who have Kuran and Touma blood in them–it won’t cure people with Shirabuki or Hiou or Shoutou blood in them. This would require Zero to have to drink from all the bloodlines, and then (probably) either sacrificed or just a blood bag for the cure. 

So as far as I can tell, there are a couple routes to the cure which either lead to a full on sacrifice on the part of the person who’s the solution or to just a significant blood donation.

Phew that was long. I hope that was somewhat helpful, and that I didn’t confuse you even more. =) If not, I’m sorry! To be fair, there really isn’t too much to go on for how the cure would work; these are mostly just my speculations at this point based on Hino drawing Kaien into the fold for the cure solution. ;)

Feel free to drop by any time!

#vampire knight #vampire knight memories #vk cure theory #zero cure theory #vk science anon #guess i need a tag for the cure theory now