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silhouetteofacedar · 3 years

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Fox Mulder, Closet Romantic Ch.3: Jesus Is A Pisces

Previous Chapter - AO3 - MSR, rated E

Mulder has forgotten Scully’s birthday every year but one. Actually, make that two now, since this year he’s determined to make the day special for her somehow. He’d asked her casually what her plans were, and she admitted that outside of a lunch with her mother and some church friends on Sunday the 22nd, she didn’t really have any intention to celebrate.

“It’s been a rough couple months,” she’d explained softly, and that’s all he needed to hear. She’d gained and then buried a daughter within a few days’ time over Christmas, for fuck’s sake. He didn’t know how she managed to stay sane after that, and if he thought about it for too long the waves of powerlessness and guilt that rolled over him were debilitating.

So instead he focused on what he could do.

“You wanna do something after work on Monday? I promise to be as un-festive as possible,” he offered.

She looked uncertain, licked her lip. “Just us?” she asked.

“Just you and me,” Mulder assured her, the words giving him a tiny, shameful thrill.

She was quiet for a moment. “Sure,” she said finally.

Come Monday, February 23rd, it’s business as usual in the basement office. They finalize their reports from the previous week’s case, wrangle their receipts, argue over who broke the stapler (It was him, she insists; while he claims she jammed the staples in and made it impossible to use properly).

At three minutes to five o’clock, she clears her throat softly as she gathers her things, and he can feel her preparing to speak.

“Yeah, Scully?” he murmurs.

“We still on for tonight?” she asks, sounding almost cautious, and his heart fractures.

“I’ll pick you up at seven,” he confirms, leafing through a file. “Be sure to bundle up.” He looks up at her and gives her a reassuring grin.

She looks happy and… relieved? Huh.

“Well, I’ll see you then,” she says, shrugging on her coat as she leaves.

Mulder smiles at the door as it clicks shut behind her. He’s unusually giddy about what he has planned for the evening.

Over the weekend he had gone to the grocery store since his refrigerator was barren, then camped out in his building’s laundry room all day Sunday washing every blanket he owned. He even stopped at the little bakery around the corner from his apartment, purchasing a single chocolate cupcake and a loaf of rye bread.

After work he packs his car with a cooler, a duffel bag, a large thermos of coffee, and a pile of blankets.

He’s surprised to see that she’s waiting for him on the steps of her apartment, wearing a heavy jacket and thick turtleneck sweater.

“I got too hot wearing all this inside,” she explains, climbing into the passenger seat. She seems almost excited, and he strangely wants to cry. God, he’s so fucking glad he had the balls to invite her out again.

“Where are we going, Mulder?” Scully asks.

“It’s a surprise,” he replies.

Seven minutes and three wrong turns later, he reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out the map, handing it to her. “Rock Creek Park, please, Navigator,” he says.

“Aha! I thought the route we were taking seemed… circuitous,” Scully says with a smirk, unfolding the map.

“Just tell me where to go; I don’t need a running commentary,” he gripes, secretly relishing her needling.

In about twenty minutes, they arrive at the park’s nature center. Mulder pulls into the lot next to the field across the road and cuts the engine.

“We’re here?” Scully asks, looking around. “It’s deserted. Mulder, please don’t tell me we’re ghost hunting,”

“Ghosts? No,” he says, climbing out of the car and going around to the trunk. “Help me with some stuff?”

Scully comes around to the back of the car, where Mulder hands her the cooler and thermos. He slings the duffel bag over his shoulder and gathers up the pile of blankets. “Close the trunk, will you, Scully?” he says, walking towards the field. “My arms are full.”

They trudge out to the middle of the field, cold winter air biting their cheeks. Mulder stops abruptly and drops the blankets onto the ground in a heap.

“We’re here,” he announces, setting down the duffel bag. He picks up a heavy wool blanket and spreads it out on the grass.

Scully sits down on the blanket, cooler and thermos beside her. “What exactly are we doing out here, Mulder?” she asks.

“Well first, we eat,” he replies, reaching for the cooler. He opens it and pulls out two waxed-paper parcels, handing one to her. “Pastrami on rye,” he announces. “I went a little crazy with the mustard on one of them, we can trade if you want.”

“You made these?” she asks, unwrapping the sandwich and taking a bite. “Oh my god,” she groans. “Mulder, you’ve been holding out on me. This is delicious.”

The satisfaction in her voice makes him flush. “It’s pretty hard to mess up pastrami.”

“True,” she agrees, “but I was starting to doubt you could even make food. Your refrigerator is usually pretty sparse.”

Mulder shrugs, opening the thermos of coffee and pouring her a cup. “Cooking for one doesn’t hold much appeal,” he explains.

“Mm,” she agrees around a mouthful of sandwich, taking the proffered cup. “So Mulder, tell me; is there a reason we’re having a picnic in the dark?” She eyes the duffel bag beside him suspiciously.

“I’m glad you asked,” he replies, unzipping the bag and pulling out a tripod. “You know anything about constellations, Scully?”

It’s a rhetorical question, of course. He already knows.

“A thing or two,” she replies casually, clearly attempting to hide the smile sneaking across her mouth as she eats.

“Well that’s good, seeing as I lugged this telescope and a star map all the way out here,” he says, pulling the telescope case out of the bag.

Scully is enraptured, and Mulder thinks this might be the best thing he’s ever done for anyone.

“I haven’t done this in years,” she says, peering through the eyepiece as she adjusts the telescope’s position. “Not since…”

She doesn’t finish her sentence, but she doesn’t have to. He remembers her telling him once, on a long car ride to some anonymous, unremarkable town, about stargazing with her father when she was a child. Captain Ahab and his Starbuck, navigating the night skies by way of celestial markers.

The temperature’s dropping, and Mulder drapes the ratty tribal weave blanket from his couch around her shoulders as she searches the heavens.

“You want a turn?” she asks, drawing back from the telescope for a moment.

He shakes his head, plops down on the blanket and gazes at her instead.

They could be astronauts together, sailors of the stars. Dropping anchor in pools of the Milky Way, swimming through constellations and running their fingers through glittering strands of nebulae.

“I’m good,” he replies softly.

“Mulder?” Scully says from under a pile of blankets.

They’re lying on their backs now, side by side, eyes on the sky. Waiting for a meteor, or a passing satellite, or for God to wave hello.

“Yeah, Scully?”

“Do you give any credence to astrology, or is that too close to religion for you?”

“I appreciate its historical and cultural significance,” he replies. “Beyond that, I can’t say I have much of an opinion on it. Aren’t you a Pisces?” he asks, as though he doesn’t already know that she is, and that he’s a Libra, and that the shitty magazine he picked up in the dentist’s office says they’d be a tumultuous but passionate match. Not that he gives horoscopes any weight.

Passionate, though…

“I am. And I’m inclined to agree with you, though astrology’s link with early Christianity is fascinating. For example, did you know that Jesus is linked to Pisces? His birth coincides with the dawning of the astrological Age of Pisces, which spans from 1 AD to the year 2150. There are many scriptural references to fishermen, and early Christians used the fish symbol as a sign of their faith.”

“Huh,” he says, tucking a blanket more tightly around his shoulders.

“I don’t believe that the stars dictate my temperament, by the way,” Scully continues. “But there’s something beautiful about having a constellation in the sky that corresponds with your own birth. Missy knew more about this stuff,” she say wistfully. “She’d read me my horoscope every morning before school while we brushed our hair or whatever, in the bathroom where Mom couldn’t hear. It was fun,” she says with a sigh.

“Do you think she’s out there, in the stars?” Mulder asks and immediately regrets it. He didn’t mean the question to sound flippant.

Scully takes it in stride. “Is it crazy if I say maybe? There’s… there’s things I’ve seen and heard, Mulder, that I can’t explain. Who am I to say how God operates? Maybe He’s laid the stars out like a map for us to read. That’s probably wishful thinking, but life would be a hell of a lot simpler if everything was dictated by heavenly bodies.”

“Better that than by governing bodies,” Mulder agrees.

Their eyes drift along the razor-sharp curves of the crescent moon.

“My mom wants to set me up with one of her church friends’ sons,” Scully says without preamble.

“Huh,” Mulder replies, tracing Orion with his eyes. “Let me guess; he’s a dentist.”

“Emergency physician, actually,” she replies. “He’s nice.”

Mulder suddenly feels the weight of gravity pressing him down to earth. He can feel the rotation of the planet under his back, spinning him at a thousand miles an hour. “You’ve met him?” he asks.

“Yesterday, at lunch,” Scully replies. “He’s a widower, with a six-year-old daughter. I think… I think my mom thinks we could help each other.”

Mulder’s stomach churns, a facsimile of seasickness rolling through his body. “What do you think?” he asks, voice oddly hoarse. “Do you… agree with her?”

Scully pulls the blanket higher under her chin and sighs. “I don’t know, Mulder. I’m thirty-four today, and my career runs my life. I’m not sure how many chances at a family will come my way in the future. It’s not ideal, but maybe I’m past the point of getting to choose.” She pauses. “I’m sorry, I’m being fatalistic.”

Despite the near-freezing temperature, he’s got a cold sweat forming on his back. “You can always choose, Scully. As far as I see it. It’s-it’s important to me that you know that.”

She rolls onto her side, snaking a hand out of the blanket to prop herself up on her elbow beside him. “Mulder, I know you blame yourself for the things that have happened to me. But they’re not your fault.” He opens his mouth and she interrupts him before he can speak. “Don’t argue with me. It’s my birthday.”

He’s grateful for a change of subject. “That reminds me,” he says, sitting up and reaching over to open the cooler.

He pulls out a small pink bakery box and opens it to remove a single chocolate cupcake with a candle stuck in the middle. He digs a lighter out of his coat pocket and gives it a flick, igniting the candle.

“Happy birthday, Scully,” he says sheepishly, holding out the cupcake.

The single flame shimmers in her eyes as she takes the dessert. “Mulder,” she says softly, in a tone that makes his heart turn to liquid. “I don’t… I don’t know what to say.”

“Just make a wish and blow the candle out before the wind does it for you,” he replies. There’s only a bit of a breeze but he’s not taking any chances. She deserves a wish.

Her eyes fall closed, and she sighs contentedly, no doubt formulating her request. Suddenly she opens her eyes and locks her gaze with his over the flickering candle, and Mulder feels a thousand words rumbling in him like an approaching avalanche.

Before he can say anything she purses her lips and extinguishes the lone flame with a breath.

She pulls the candle out of the cupcake and pops the end into her mouth, licking off chocolate frosting, and Mulder thinks he might die right there on a blanket in Rock Creek Park. He’s been so good, keeping his feelings to himself, but in this moment his only thoughts are that he loves her and wants her; no, needs her. He needs to touch her, taste the icing on her lips, map the constellations of freckles hiding beneath her sweater. Shake the winter chill out of his bones, letting the flames of her red hair lick across his skin and light his whole body on fire.

She’s saying something to him, biting into the cupcake, chocolate crumbs falling onto the blanket.

“Hm?” he asks, returning to terra firma.

“I asked if you wanted a bite,” she reiterates.

Yes, his body responds. Please please please-

“It’s yours,” he says as a declination.

“Therefore it’s mine to share,” she declares. She holds it out to him, and his stomach flutters as he leans in and takes a bite. He thinks of his parents’ faded wedding photos, of them feeding each other cake in black and white.

Don’t date the doctor guy, he pleads silently as he chews. Stay with me. Show me galaxies.

She falls asleep on the car ride home with one of his blankets tucked around her, the car’s heater cranked all the way up. When he parks in front of her building she stirs, likely awoken by the sudden cessation of warm air on her feet.

“Scully,” Mulder says softly, “We’re home.”

“Mmm,” she responds. “What time is it?”

“Almost eleven,” he answers, glancing at his watch. “Can you walk or should I carry you up?” The question feels faintly suggestive, and he’s only being so bold because she’s drowsy and likely not registering the subtext.

“I can walk,” she says, sitting up and removing the blanket. Her hair is a fuzzy red halo in the glow of the streetlights.

“I’ll go with you,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Make sure you don’t pass out on your way up.”

“Thanks,” she yawns. “I don’t know why car rides make me so drowsy,” she says. “It’s like I’m five years old again.”

“Or it’s hypothermia,” Mulder suggests jokingly. “It got pretty damn cold out there.”

“Winter night picnics aren’t the most practical, it’s true,” she says. “But the blankets and coffee were a good idea.”

When they reach Scully’s apartment door she turns to face him. “Thank you for this,” she says, voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t realize how much I needed it.”

He smiles softly at her. “Happy birthday,” he replies.

He’s mentally debating giving her a hug when she reaches out and pulls him in gently, arms looped around his waist. He wraps his arms around her and drops a light kiss to the crown of her head.

It’s over way too soon.

“Goodnight,” she says. “See you tomorrow.”

If he says anything else to her before she slips into the apartment and closes the door, he doesn’t remember it. His feet are firmly on the ground, carrying him out of her apartment building and back to his car, but his head is far above the atmosphere, adrift in space.

He’s so in love he feels as though he’s running out of air.

#my fic #msr #txf fic #xfiles #fox mulder closet romantic #FMCR #I love this chapter okay fight me #Scully’s birthday #stargazing and shit

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everlarkficexchange · 3 years

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Under the Rain

Written by: @nightlock-1989

Prompt 9: Canon-Divergent/ In Panem D12 “I waited for you” he said but she didn’t reply. He pressed for an answer he knew he deserved, “under the rain, Katniss. I waited for you, under the rain… why would you do that?” / “I can’t do this anymore, Peeta” / “Bullshit, you can but you just don’t want. I thought you were brave!” he yelled at her looking for any reaction that will give some hope. His tears threatening to run down his face. / She didn’t move, and she didn’t correct her, so he ran away and slammed the door behind him. / “I love you” Katniss said to an empty room. [submitted by @alwayseverlark]

@alwayseverlark, I hope you enjoy what I’ve come up with for your prompt. This is part one that sets the foundation for what will happen in your prompt. This will be three parts.

Under the Rain- Part One- Rated T

16 years old

Not Prim, not Prim, not Prim, not Prim.

“Ela Fairsmith” Effie Trinket announces.

I breathe a sigh of relief and do everything I can to fight a smile. While Prim and I are spared, Ela, a girl two years older than me from the Seam was just reaped and is walking to her death.

Madge subtly reaches for my hand and gives it a light squeeze. She looks to me with a tight-lipped smile.

“Now for the male tribute,” the escort says with excitement.

Not Gale, not Gale, not Gale, not Gale.

“Pe-“ she begins.

I tighten the hold on Madge’s hand enough to the point she lets out a small hiss.

“-ter Edmund.”

I finally release the breath I was holding. It’s another boy from the Seam, slightly younger than me.

“Sorry,” I mumble. She removes her hand and sets it on my shoulder.

“You should go find your sister,” she recommends.

I move to walk away when Madge grabs me by the wrist.

“Are you going tonight?” she asks.

“To what?” I answer.

“The celebration by the meadow.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Gale’s last year; right?”

“I don’t think—”

“Just think about it,” she shrugs. “I’ll be there at 8:00.”

Her behavior puzzles me. Every year, the teenagers of District 12, gather in the meadow and have a bonfire, both Seam and Merchant, to celebrate the fact that they weren’t reaped. This is particularly popular among those who have aged out of the Reaping or have a loved one who aged out.

I’ve never been but I’ve heard the older kids whisper about it. People save any extra money to obtain some white liquor from Ripper, causing Haymitch Abernathy, her best customer to lose his mind one year. It’s not uncommon for girls to come to my mother for an herb concoction, finding themselves pregnant after the night at the Slag Heap.

For both classes, it’s their last true night of freedom, their final chance to be irresponsible. Tomorrow will be their final day of rest and later in the night, the only thing they will be doing is going to bed early to begin their life in the mines or in town.

It is Gale’s final reaping and while one would think he could breathe easier, it doesn’t. While Gale has aged out, Rory will be eligible next year, and eventually Vick and Posy. I’m lucky with just Prim. I don’t see why Gale would want to go to something so stupid.

I open my mouth to disagree while backing up, when I suddenly hit something solid and nearly trip. Hands grab my hips to hold me steady, but I shy away at the touch and immediately turn around to see who touched me. I look into the wide blue eyes of Peeta Mellark. I imagine mine are filled with fury.

“Uh, sorry. I, uh-um, I thought,” he rambles.

“I have to find Prim,” I spit out before storming off.

I see her smiling with her group of friends when I approach. She throws her arms around me and my heart warms.

“Ready to go home, Little Duck?” She nods and we go to meet my mother.

Later while enjoying an indulgent meal (for us anyway) of rabbit stew with the Hawthorne family, we are interrupted by a pounding on the door.

Hazelle goes to answer, and a frantic voice is asking for Violet, my mother. I hear a muted conversation and my mom informs us that a mother is expecting twins. Prim, a little healer in the making, offers to go. 8:00 comes around when Posy begins yawning, signaling time for bed.

Gale offers to walk me home, but I decline, and we make plans to meet early tomorrow morning.

I don’t live too far from the Hawthorne’s but it’s a nice night and I decide to take a walk. I become aware of someone around. I look and see Cray, the head Peacekeeper.

“Katniss Everdeen,” he says with a smug grin.

“Officer Cray,” I greet ducking my head down.

“Looks like the odds were in your favor.” Cray begins stepping towards me.

I continue walking but look up. “I suppose so.”

“What are you doing out here alone?” he asks curiously.

“I’m not…er, I won’t be for long.”

He slowly continues walking my way and I decide to turn right instead of continuing forward.

“Heading to the meadow?”

“Yes,” I spit out.

He’s still following me, and the meadow is now in sight. I quicken my pace.

“Big plans, Miss Everdeen?”

“Yep.” I look in the crowd, but I don’t see Madge. I do see Peeta Mellark, and he’s spotted me. I’ve caught him staring at me a few times over the years, but he always looks away. Tonight, he doesn’t. Does he recognize the tense body language? Can he detect the fear in my eyes from this far away?

I don’t hesitate before I raise my hand and wave quickly. He breaks away from his group and starts walking towards me. I notice the moment that he sees Cray lurking in the shadows.

“Hi Peeta,” I say in what I hope is my most cheery voice. I don’t want Cray to register the terror in my voice.

“There you are, Katniss,” he says with a huge smile, as if nothing is wrong. He sets a hand on my shoulder and I slightly flinch. His blue eyes pierce mine, silently telling me to go with it. “Madge almost had us send out a search party. You told us you would be here at 8:00,” the sound of his voice increasing slightly.

“My mom needed me to drop off some supplies. Mrs. Oatbrook’s having twins.”

“Well, let’s go find Madge so she calms down.” He guides me forward with his hand on my back.

“Breathe in,” he leans in closer and whispers. When we reach the other teens, I finally allow myself to exhale.

“Are you okay?” he asks, bending down to look me over.

“Fine,” I say shortly.

“Are you sure?” he bends his head down to look in my eyes.

I’m momentarily stunned. Have his eyes always been that shade of blue. I feel as if I could get lost forever in them before I shake the thoughts away. Why am I thinking about Peeta Mellark? I need to get a handle on this situation. “Damn it, Peeta. I’m fine. You don’t need to rescue me all the time,” I say storming off after I spot Madge engaged in a conversation with Delly Cartwright. She’s just nodding her head.

“Hi, Katniss. I didn’t know you were coming. I didn’t think this was your kind of thing,” Delly drones on and on while I try to calm down. I begin looking around for a Seam kid I recognize when I spot one of Gale’s friends, Thom. Okay, good. I’ll leave when he leaves. My house is along his route.

“Thirsty?” Madge asks.

I’m not even thinking straight or registering the odd, burning taste until it’s already down my throat, having been desperate to ease my dry throat. I must have drunk half her bottle but all I can do now is cough.

Why did that taste like peaches?

“Because it’s mixed with peach juice,” Madge laughs.

“Wait, what?” Did I say that out loud?

Delly begins laughing. “Have you ever drunk before, Katniss?”

“No,” I shake my head.

“May I?” Delly asks. Madge hands her the glass and she takes a drink and ponders. “What is that?”

“Something called vodka. I swiped it from my mom’s dresser.”

“Rye,” Delly calls. Rye Mellark is one year from aging out. The resemblance he has to his brothers is remarkable. When he approaches, I look him in the eye. His eyes are blue but not the same as Peeta’s. Ugh, I’m thinking of Peeta again.

“Delly, Madge,” he says with a brief hug. “And Miss Everdeen, this is a rare gift,” he says with a curious tone. His smile is also nice, but he doesn’t have Peeta’s dimple.

“Can I have your glass?” Delly asks Rye. Delly takes another sip of the peach concoction and a sip of whatever Rye has.

“Well, I don’t see how this could be stronger than Rippers.”

“What stuff?” he asks.

Madge hands him the cup and he takes a small sip.

“Yeah, it’s not,” he answers quickly.

“I think you’ll be okay, Katniss,” Delly assures me. What does she mean I’ll be okay? I didn’t ingest poison or anything.

I’m getting very warm. I begin to remove my sweater and drape it over my arm. They’re talking but I’m not even caring. Everything feels…. lighter? But at the same time, my body feels heavier.

“I feel better already,” I say with a grin.

“Not as strong but Everdeen’s little as it is. She’ll be feeling it in the morning.”

“But the night is so young,” I say with a puzzled look. “It’s warm and the fire’s hot.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “I’ll see you pretty babes later.”

Delly and Madge giggle like a bunch of schoolgirls…. wait, so am I.

“He’s so cute,” Delly whispers.

“Eh, if he’s your type,” Madge says.

“I just love his eyes.”

“I thought Prim had the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen,” I offer.

“Katniss, we’re talking about boys,” Delly adds.

“The floor is moving,” I say and grab for Delly’s hand.

“You mean the ground?” Madge asks.

“Sure,” I let go and begin heading towards the large rock that I sometimes sit on after I finish hunting.

“Nope, nope, nope,” Madge grabs my elbow. “This is my fault. You’re sticking by me.”

I scoff. “Why is everyone trying to take care of me? I can take care of myself. First Mellark, now you.” I wrangle free from her grasp.

“Wait, Rye was trying to take care of you?” Delly asks.

“No, Mellark,” I emphasize. “MY boy with the bread. If we have to-to-to- aren’t you warm?” Madge shakes her head with a smirk.

Her and Delly glance to the side and wave someone over.

“What were you saying about Mellark?” Delly laughs putting a finger to her lip.

“Yeah, the boy with the bread?” Madge encourages.

“My,” I gesture with a hand to my chest. “MY boy with the bread.” The girls are laughing loudly. “And if we are going to talk about boys, then Peeta’s eyes are the most prettiest blue. And his brother doesn’t even have a dimple.”

“I think that might be the nicest compliment I’ve ever been given,” a familiar voice says.

“Ugh,” I turn around and glare at Madge. “No more strawberries for you. Screw this, I can walk my own ass home. I don’t need you,” I point to Peeta, “or you,” I point to Madge, “or you,” I point across the fire at Thom. They all dodge out of the way as if there are tracker jackers around. Maybe I’m just flailing instead of pointing.

“What did you give her?” Peeta asks.

“We already EEE-STAB-LISHED this,” I emphasize taking a step forward, tripping in the process. A pair of strong hands catch me.

“Maybe you should sit down,” Peeta suggests.

“I was trying to go to my rock by the tree, but Madge wouldn’t let me.”

“I wasn’t going to let her go alone,” Madge explains to Peeta.

“Smart idea.” Peeta looks around and leans into Madge and whispers, “Cray was eyeing her.”

“I’m not sleeping with him,” I add.

“I know you’re not, Katniss,” Madge says with a frown.

“He can’t have me,” I proclaim.

“We know, Katniss. We just want to make sure you’re safe,” Peeta says.

“You and your savior complex,” I groan before marching towards my rock and plopping down.

After about a minute, I hear a loud gait approaching. “May I sit down?” Peeta asks.

“What if I say no?”

“Then I’ll walk over there,” he points to a tree not too far from my rock. “And keep an eye on you there.”

“I don’t need a babysitter. I’ve done just fine on my own,” I scold.

“I know you have…. Everyone knows that you have.”

“Fine,” I huff, crossing my arms. I relent and move my sweater so that he may sit next to me. I tilt myself towards him, one leg tucked under my knee. “Wouldn’t you rather enjoy the party?”

“And miss out on the chance to speak to the elusive and mysterious Katniss Everdeen?” he grins. “Never.”

“I’m not mysterious,” I say.

“Yeah, you are. No one knows much about you.”

“So?”

“So…. If we are going to be friends, that means we tell each other the deep stuff.”

“Deep stuff?”

“Like what your favorite color is.”

“You’ve crossed a line now, Mellark,” I reply staring at him causing him to furrow his brow before I burst out laughing. He joins me. It’s a nice sound.

“Mine’s orange,” he says.

“Like the fruit?” I cringe.

“Softer, more muted…. Like a sunset.”

“The sunset over the lake is beautiful,” I say wistfully before covering my mouth and looking around.

“No one heard,�� he assures me. “Well, except me…. Do you see many of those sunsets?”

“Only once since my dad died,” I mumble. “Green, like the woods.”

“That’s very appropriate for the strongest-willed girl in District 12.”

I scoff, “There you go again.”

“Go again with what?” he smiles.

“The compliments,” I say before the silence begins. I chance another glance and look in his eyes. We’re further away from the fire so it’s not as pronounced but I still can’t help getting lost in them. “Your eyes, they are like…. I don’t know. You can’t describe it.”

“They’re just blue,” he chuckles.

“No, they’re not. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“How much did you drink?” he teases while I give him a light shove.

“I don’t know.”

“Moonlight,” Peeta says softly.

I look up at the crescent moon puzzled. “What about it?”

“Your eyes… the only way I could describe it is it’s like moonlight,” Peeta answers before taking a drink and cringing. “How the hell does Haymitch drink this all the time?”

“Let me have some,” I reach for the cup and Peeta holds it out of my reach. I lean forward, invading his space and reach for the cup. I put one hand on his thigh which causes him to still his movements. He lowers the glass and looks back at me. I flex my hand and remove it.

“One small sip,” he instructs.

“What makes you so sure I’ll listen to you?”

“Nothing, but I hope you trust me enough to heed my warning.”

“I trust you…. I think,” I whisper taking the glass from his hand and sipping before I spit it out.

Peeta laughs and takes another sip. I stand up, wobbling slightly, Peeta gently grasping my arm as he stands up.

“I’ve got you,” he says quietly.

The buzz is starting to fade. Maybe getting drunk was exactly what I needed because I would never be brave enough to say this sober.

“You always have,” I whisper. “Thank you for the bread.”

“Wait, from when we were kids,” he asks. I nod.

“Katniss, that was nothing. And I should have gone out- “

“Your mother beat you for it,” I interrupt.

“Katniss, it was fine. You were- “

“Peeta- “I try to stop him from saying more.

“No Katniss…” His voice fades as he continues to ramble about who knows what.

“Peeta,” I say but he just keeps going. I do the only thing I can think of to do as I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him on the lips. It does indeed shut him up. When I pull back his eyes are wide open and he’s staring at me as if I’ve grown two heads. Of course, he would be horrified that a Seam girl just kissed him.

“I’m, uh- “I freeze.

“Well, shit,” he says and then licks his lips before smirking.

“I—I have to go find Madge,” I mumble before storming off. I find Delly and Rye and I’m horrified. I can’t face anyone who looks like Peeta right now. I look into the crowd and I don’t see her face, but I do see her outfit…. and the back of Gale’s head. They are walking towards the Slag Heap. My jaw drops. I hear Peeta approaching.

“You okay?” he asks.

“My best friends are headed towards the slag heap? How could they?”

“I’m so sorry, Katniss. I, I know you’re with Gale—”

“What?” I interrupt.

“You and Gale, you favor each other.”

“No,” I say and shake my head.

“Oh…. Well, I thought—”

“You thought I was dating Gale even though I kissed you?”

“Well, drinking makes people do stupid things,” he offers.

“No, shit,” I say with a roll of my eyes. I begin to scan the crowd, looking for Thom.

“So, you’re okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. I just don’t know why they didn’t tell me. I don’t know how it even happened. He’s always whining about her and her townie ass.” I don’t see Thom anywhere. He’s probably at the slag heap too. I groan.

“What’s wrong?” Peeta asks.

“I’m looking for Thom so I can walk home with him.”

“I can walk you home,” Peeta offers.

“Then I’ll just owe you more,” I point out exasperated.

“Can we stop with the whole owing thing, Katniss? We’re friends, we don’t worry about owing friends.”

“Friends? I’m not so good at friends.”

“Yeah, but I know your favorite color. That means we are on our way to best friends.”

This causes me to snort. “Don’t you want to stay at the party?”

“Party or walking a pretty girl home?” he says with a tilt to his head. “Definitely going with the pretty girl.”

“I’m not pretty,” I mutter.

“You have no idea the effect you can have, do you?”

There is a loose tendril of hair that has come out of my braid. Peeta reaches towards it before stopping. He’s asking me with is eyes for permission. He takes whatever it is that my face is saying as a yes before tucking it behind my ear.

“Let’s go,” he whispers, offering me his arm which I surprisingly find myself taking. We walk at a leisurely pace back to the Seam. We walk along in silence before I stop.

“Peeta?” I ask gazing at his face.

“Yes?”

I open my mouth not sure what to say so I just go with what comes to mind. “What’s your favorite thing to do on a Sunday?” Sundays are usually when the town businesses shut down early in the afternoon.

He grins, “You’re going for the really deep stuff now. You know there is no turning back now. We are definitely friends after this.” He waits for an answer and I nod.

We continue walking while he tells me about how he likes to draw on any spare sheet of paper he can get his hands on. He tells me about how he sketches the things around him. A loaf of bread, the apple tree, the pigs, the town square. His favorite though is a dandelion. We walk in silence, the weight of his words in the balance.

We reach my doorstep and stare at each other. The silence is becoming painful, and I have to know.

“Why a dandelion?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“You know why, Katniss.”

I nod. “I thought I’d lost all hope. That bread sustained me and my family until I realized I already knew a way to take care of my family…. That dandelion was hope…. And you lead me to it.” He doesn’t say anything. “Jeez, it must be open my mouth and embarrass myself day. Never mind, I’m drunk, I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Are you really? Or has it worn off and you’re now lying about it?”

He searches my eyes, willing me to tell the truth. “I’m a little drunk, but I know exactly what I’m saying.” His gaze is making me vulnerable, and I hold my breath. Peeta steps closer. He’s in my space and my senses are overwhelmed. There are butterflies and heat in my stomach.

Peeta lifts my chin and leans down, his lips barely touching mine. “Will you allow it?” he whispers.

“Yes,” I say, the word barely getting out before his lips are pressing against my mouth. I don’t know what I’m doing but Peeta does. He cradles my jaw before he gently moves his lips against mine. I grab his shoulders so that he will stay rooted to me. We kiss for a couple of minutes, our lips dancing together. He doesn’t try for more. He is the first to pull back.

“Good night, Katniss,” he whispers grabbing my hand to press a kiss to it. He turns around and walks towards town. I head inside and lean against the door. What the hell just happened?

When I wake the next morning, I have a major headache and am slightly nauseous, even more so when I think about that kiss. What the hell was I thinking?

I try to clear my head in the woods, I really do but I’m missing every single shot. This has never happened before. Damn you, Peeta Mellark. I decide to get more strawberries for Madge before heading into town. When I reach the meadow outside of the fence, I notice the dandelions and I begrudgingly pull them out.

Before I know it, I’m at the bakery and I glance in the window. I see Peeta, and no one else. This is stupid but my body is clearly not listening to my head since I’m setting the dandelions on the doorstep and knocking. At least my body works enough to run off behind the apple tree where I hope Peeta can’t see me.

He opens the door and looks around before he looks down. He bends to pick up the dandelions and a wide grin appears on his face. Shit…. I’m in trouble.

#nightlock-1989 #alwayseverlark #prompt 9 #Springtime edition 2021 #submission

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mcrmadness · 3 years

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Anxiety stuff. I just need to vent in order to calm down so don't mind about me here venting. (And just a draft doesn't feel the same, I need this OUT of my system, scream it into the void.)

I don't know what is it with my body/mind now but I'm extremely tired of whatever it is. I don't like it at all and it reminds me of the anxiety phases I have had in the past and that always gives me even more anxiety because those times have been some of the worst experiences of my life.

Currently I can't sleep. Because my heart keeps beating so hard? Like not really faster, just so hard that it feels like it's shaking my whole body. If I try to breathe long and deep, I feel like suffocating and my breathing is slightly broken(?) because the pulse feels like it punching me in the stomach meanwhile. Nothing hurts and I'm not out of breath, I'm just so sensitive to any sensation of my body that it makes me easily overwhelmed. I tried sleeping but the heart distracts me from that too much. I tried listening to a nature document meanwhile but nothing.

I'm also shaking a little. This is where the anxiety steps in. This heart beating and shaky feels happen sometimes when I eat and the blood sugar levels go up too high. I just ate about 1-2h ago so it maybe was just that. I'm currently sitting on my sofa and rocking myself back and forth which often also helps me to calm myself down and I'm already feeling better. Still I put some rye bread in the toaster, I'm not really even hungry but sometimes ALSO low blood sugar level does this same thing! In the past I have had very wild fear of low blood sugar and I have often eaten for anxiety because I cannot stand the psychosomatic symptoms of anxiety AT ALL so my first instinct was always: eat, in case it's low blood sugar and ice often had trouble telling those symptoms apart from each other.

However, I think the shaky feels are from migraine. I had quite a strong one yesterday. I had stayed up almost 24 hours, didn't drink any tea in that time and slept very weird hours and woke up at 10pm on Friday night. I already had a headache that later either turned or revealed itself to be migraine instead. I took painkillers at night but I still had mild headache but strong neck muscle pain all the way to the morning. I couldn't take another painkiller yet but went to sleep instead. I could fall asleep and slept pretty okay, on my sofa tho. The whole day after that I had this post-migraine zombie feel. Where anything physical feels bad in the neck and head and causes mild nausea. Certain posture in the neck still feels slightly painful. But I didn't have any proper headache anymore so I didn't take painkillers. It's nothing new that I feel this shaky the whole day after migraine, especially after such strong migraines. It's just my health anxiety and my tendency to become overwhelmed and overstimulated by such things that then make me to want to do nothing else but sleep, but I can't sleep because I'm so severely overstimulated. Both tire me out until I basically pass out from exhaustion.

Anxiety is not neat, especially not on worse days. I don't know what's causing this now. The days that are getting logger? Usually spring is my time and I become energetic. This year it apparently means I have so much energy I'm almost maniac and my brain doesn't care about time nor light but basically refuses to sleep more than every other night/day. And it's exhausting too. I haven't been out since last Sunday. And now is yet another Sunday morning. We're supposed to go to the supermarket today. I've been hyperfixating on creative stuff and haven't showered since Wednesday. I stink awful.

Last week I was stupid and decided to cook before doing the dishes - "I'll do them once I've eaten." WRONG. I never do the dishes after eating and cooking. Brain says "we don't need the sinks nor the dishes in next 2 weeks, no need to worry about them until that :)" Usually I do the dishes because I need SPACE. And utensils. That day I had enough of both. And this is always the result and I never learn. Now my sink is full of stuff, I have one clean plate in the cupboard and no clean utensils left. I'm too tired to take care of them and my brain is overjoyed when I can tell myself "I don't need to do them now because I've had migraine and I deserve rest." because it's a good excuse, no need to feel bad for procrastinating. Usually everything is "oh and I SHOULD do this and this and this"...

I think I feel physically awful also because migraine just affects the whole body. My neck muscles still feel awful. It's hard to explain. During migraine they basically feel like they'd suddenly start sinking in size but they're still attached to the rest of my body so it feels like the muscle would be pulled to every direction possible. And after that you feel liike you'd have spent a day in those torture machines where they stretch yours arms. Sometimes feeling sore, but usually just plain stiff. Like the whole body feels like it has turned into stone. No wonder why I feel like I can't get air from ny heart beating against my lungs if all my muscles are so stiff they're hard like stone and can't relax even that much that air could have enough space to move between my lungs and mouth/nose.

I think the heart beating was actually just high blood sugar. It's back to normal now aka I can barely feel it which is good. My neck still feels awful but I'll try to get some sleep soon. I'm starting to feel tired finally, too.

I have therapy on Monday. I hope I somehow get more sleep than just two hours before that.

#mcrmadness' deep thoughts

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dumbjockgirl · 5 years

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!!!

What if like, Catra is a fae person

And can only go to the edge of the woods, and Adora is a human who like, Okay its like old times, and she’s having trouble with rye and travels to the edge of the forest and like gets on her knees and pleads for help, just the smallest bit She leaves, thinking her plea fell on deaf ears but when she wakes the next morn, her rye has grown greatly, even ready for harvest and People tell her she’s supposed to fear the fae, but she doesn’t Next season, she asks for again and she’s decided when she leaves, she will wait so she may thank them in person But no one is there, only like a line of little wild domestic cats carrying buckets of sparkling water in their mouths and pouring it on the crops in question so She picks a few flowers and gives it to one of the cats to give to whoever is leading them as a thank you

A cat returns the next day with mushrooms and berries in a crudely woven basket and there’s a message asking her to come to the forest. Adora does and no one is there. However a raspy voice speaks to her, ‘you know you don’t have to thank me. Just your worship is enough’ she says slyly and Adora sputters like ‘w-worship??’ But then is like ‘if you won’t accept my gifts of thanks, may I at least see you?’ And she hears the scratching against trees before a thud. First she sees the cat like feet in the moonglow, then when she steps into view, sees Catra, who is wearing the flowers in her hair. ‘Is that it?? Can I go now’ and Adora is like ‘no wait!’ And she reaches out and gently touches her hand. So Catra stays and they talk all night and Adora falls asleep and Catra rolls her eyes, finding her cute, so she climbs back into the trees and watches over her protectively while she sleeps, deciding she likes this human. Truthfully she’s a smitten kitten. Starts sending her cats to Adora’s little home, finds out she runs a bakery all by herself and that’s why she needs so much rye. The cats help her with keeping the mice away, and the bad bugs, and they bring her the fruits she needs or whatever and Adora comes to the edge of the forest every night, because she is smitten as well

Catra is like ‘you better stop though, or I’m going to fall in love with you’ and Adora is like ‘....what would be wrong with that?’ and so they admit their feelings, and Adora is like ‘you can live with me and we can make bread together and I’ll make a place for all your cats’ and Catra is like ‘dummy, didn’t they tell you? the fae can’t leave the forest.’ and Adora takes that as a challenge

she comes to her instead, starts building a house in the forest close to the edge of it. Catra is like ‘you can’t live here, it’s dangerous. what we have now is fine’ but Adora insists ‘i want to wake up with you beside me and i want to eat with you and--’

Catra huffs, ‘yeah, I want that too, my idiot, but it’s too dangerous so’ then she gets distant and just watches her from the trees up high, waiting for her to give up

her cats aren’t helping her, but they stay around Adora, not disobeying Catra because she just told them not to help her, but didn’t say they couldn’t be around her

a new cat shows up every day with the one(s) before and Adora is like ‘fuck how many are there? ill need to make a bigger place’

in the midst of making the cobblestone mud house, it falls apart one night after a particularly bad storm. catra is like ‘good, maybe she’ll give up’ but she doesn’t. instead, she goes to the sturdiest tree in the forest that still lets her see her shop and builds around it and up. she makes this one with stone and wood. she is almost finished, when it begins to storm and she has to leave the forest. lightning strikes the tree, exploding her build off of the tree.

catra feels sad, actually liking the tree house idea. she decides to use her magic to help adora build a home one last time. it is in the clearing of the forest, away from the trees that could fall on it. the cats lead adora to the space and they build their home together. together, it is completed and no rain, wind, nor disaster would trouble them. Adora leaves every morning to tend to her bakery and returns every night, escorted by five cats

#catradora #long post

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redfoxwritesstuff · 5 years

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Clover and Lace- Chapter 2

Welcome to chapter two! Chapter one can be found by doing a quick search for “Kit’s Masterlist”. Want in on the tag list? Let me know. As always, we’ve got a big thanks to @winterisakiller who has been a major source of support for this series from well Chapter two on.

Chapter warnings: Some mutilated bread.

Chapter two:

“So, figure out where you are going to take the mystery girl on Friday?” Tony asked as he leaned against the wall of the jet. Steve was happy to ignore him until Tony asked three more times.

“No.” He finally admitted. “I don’t want to drive two hours to get to her, drive another two to bring her into the city and spend two more hours driving her home.”

“Get a room? Take her back to your place?” To Tony it seemed simple, a good reason to have her stay the night.

“As if. He’s going to wait 70 years before he makes it that far.” Clint joked from where he sat.

“Not going to wait that long.” Steve protested. “Just not on the first date. Or the second.”

“Or the third.” Bucky added, earning a glare from Steve.

“Or the fourth.” Natasha added from the cockpit and Steve threw his hands in the air.

“Any other ideas from the bleachers?” Steve fishes, wanting to change the topic and maybe even manage to get some real help.

“What is there to do in Arkon anyway?” Bucky asks.

“I’ve never heard of the place but online it says the cafe is good.” Clint offered as he looked up the town on his phone. “Tiny town.”

“Been to the cafe already.” Steve sighed. “And nothing. There is nothing in Arkon. No where for a proper date.”

“Italian restaurant?” Sam offered.

“You can’t go wrong with Italian.” Tony nodded.

“There isn’t even a pizza place.” Steve actually sounded bitter and Clint gasped in what could be actual horror.

“Why would anyone live there?” Clint clutched his chest and dramatically fell back.

“Weather is pretty nice in the area this time of year.” Natasha commented from where she sat. “Pack a picnic and bring some music. Find a nice spot- eat, drink some wine and maybe twirl her around.”

“That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.” Sam laughed at the idea.

“No, that’s actually perfectly lame.” Tony defended. “It’s him. I mean, if she somehow doesn’t know he’s Cap than he’s got to sell her on the whole being a century old thing somehow. An old fashioned date like that could do it.”

“Is that really such an old fashioned idea?” Bucky questioned as Steve looked at his hands. The idea crossed his mind but it hadn’t felt like it would be nearly enough to win a girl as pretty as her.

“It’s classic.” Tony corrected. “Cap is classic. She’s a small town girl. It fits.”

Steve didn’t even look up as the front door opened and two bodies came in laughing. He skipped his morning work out and took the day off the office. No missions were scheduled and for once, he didn’t feel like going into the compound to search up something to do. Two peaceful weekends in a row seemed like a good idea.

“What the hell did the bread do to piss you off?” Bucky was honestly offended at the state of the bread.

Steve got an old fashioned loaf of rye, unsliced because how hard could it be to slice bread? Turns out, when you don’t have the proper knife, it could be very hard. Steve had decided that when he was on his way home that night it was time they buy a proper set of knives of the apartment. They couldn’t keep using their tactical knives for everything.

“Did you cut it with a chainsaw?” Natasha picked up some slices too mutilated to be used in the sandwiches he was making.

“No.” He sighed.

“Just an army knife?” She challenged, eyeing the knife on the counter. “you do know those are for killing, not cooking- right?”

“I washed it first.” Even Steve knew it sounded shitty when said aloud. “I’m getting a knife set this weekend, alright?”

“Why is there mustard on the outside?” Bucky asked as he sat at the kitchen island.

“I got some on my hand. Will you two just buzz off?” Steve was trying, right? His friends were not making him feel any better about this mess of a plan at all.

“Okay, okay. But Steve, really? This-” Bucky waved his hand at the sandwiches, sad and patchy on the counter. “isn’t going to work.”

“What the hell should I do then?!” Steve slammed his hands down on the counter in an unexpected show of frustration.

“Nat?” Bucky turned to her as she was already slipping her coat back on.

“I’m on it. Those were intended to be pastrami on rye, yes?”

Bucky picked up a lump that was intended to be a sandwich and took a large bite before reporting, “Yep.”

With Natasha on mission ‘sandwich’ that freed Bucky up to first finish inhaling the sandwich that at least managed to taste mostly right and set about making potato salad.

“You can’t just take sandwiches, Steve.” He lectured.

“Why not?” Bucky didn’t answer, rather he grabbed his phone and sent off a text, probably to Natasha to request her pick up something more for the date.

Steve was on mission Pie and all things considered, he thought it came together pretty well. The top crust went on pretty enough and when Natasha returned with sandwiches, bottles of water and chips it was time to pull it from the oven.

It was also getting far too close to time to leave. Steve sent up a silent prayer and opened the oven.

“No.”

“What?” Bucky sounded concerned.

“No, no. No. No. No.” The most helpful answer he could provide as he pulled the pie out of the oven and set it on the stove top. A large portion of the top crust had broken somehow and was sank a good ways down into the bubbly cherry goo.

“Well, that’s pretty.” Natasha commented over his shoulder earning a glare.

When the food was finally packed, Steve was sent down the stairs to the far too fancy car Tony was insisting he take. Opening the trunk he found a wicker basket that looked much nicer than the grocery bags he was using to hall things in.

Unloading the bags into the basket and in the process finding a very expensive bottle of wine and much better plates and glasses than Steve had packed, he couldn’t help but be thankful for his friends. Yeah, the meddled and involved themselves in his business. Yeah they pushed and had loud opinions but each and every one of them was rooting for him.

Rosemary puttered about her apartment that whole Friday. Outfits were tried on, discarded and the process repeated until she finally went into the shower where she proceeded to take as long as she could. Everything that could and should be shaved on a proper lady was. She scrubbed, lotioned and polished her skin into silky softness as soft orchestral music played in the background. A few notes played from her office informing her of a fresh notification and she ignored it for now. It could wait.

It had been a long time since she had a date. It was risky to get attached to people and her brother was less than pleased when she had called him to gush over the attractive man she had met. Rather than be pleased for her he made sure she was reminded of the dangers, the risks and of who she was.

If she kept to herself for much longer, people would start to ask questions anyway, she rationalized. At first she hadn’t wanted to tell him at all but safety won out. He had to know if she wasn’t going to be home. Have a tracker on you, he said as if she didn’t already keep the little specialized earring back on her favorite pair of earrings.

It didn’t really matter, did it? It was just a date. Her brother asked for the man’s name but she refused to provide it. If she wanted to know more about him, more then he was willing to tell her, she had her ways and would be far better at pulling the information then he ever would be. Information was her specialty, after all.

All Julian would find was if he had any public records, arrests or been in the news. Social media accounts he could normally find as well. No, Julian wouldn’t be able to find anything material about the guy. Rosemary could know everything there was to know about him, if she wished.

Rosemary wanted the handsome man with kind blue eyes to be a mystery to her. There were far too few mysteries in her life. Mr. Steve Rogers with his vaguely familiar name would be allowed to continue to be one, right alongside how long she got to stay in this tiny town and if she would ever be called to her dear brother’s side again. It was always better for them to be apart. Really this was the closest they had been to each other in many years, just a few hours drive away. But she did not have a car. It was better that way.

Being alone was hard and she was always alone. There was a knock on her door, drawing her out of her thoughts. Absently, her hand fell away from the necklace she had been fingering. That’s right, this time she wasn’t always alone. Mrs. Jones was always around and checking up on her.

“Sara?” The hearty voice of Mrs. Jones called through the door and she winced at the name. She had always hated the name Sara. More than likely that was why her brother picked it for her this time. Such a childish action, to saddle her with a name she hated even if it was only to be for a few months or a few years. He was still childish. She stuck her tongue out at the thought as if somehow she could stick her tongue out at him.

“Come in.” She called through the door, knowing with the thin walls the old woman would hear just fine.

“Don’t you just look sweet.” She cooed as she shuffled into the room. “Spin for me, Honey?”

“You think so?” Sara did a little spin to humor the woman. The skirt of her dress flaring out and her hair dancing around her shoulders.

“When does he get here?” Mrs. Jones sat at the small dining table.

“Should be here in another 30 minutes.” Sara shrugged, taking a seat across from the old woman.

“It is so good to see you stepping out with such a fine man. Or any man at all for that matter.” Mrs. Jones didn’t waste any time getting to the point not that Sara hadn’t expected it. Mrs. Jones had tried to set her up with nearly every single man within ten years of her age within 100 miles of her home.

“It’s just a date, Mrs. Jones. Nothing serious may come from it.” Nothing serious would come from it. It wouldn’t do to get attached. It would however be nice to have some company. To have a handsome man call her pretty and maybe kiss her. She was after all nearly 26 and hadn’t had a proper kiss.

Knocking on the door drew them out of their conversation before it could really start. Sara was thankful for that in all honesty. It was a conversation that could call into question her past.

“He’s early?”

“Go, on! Answer the door.” Mrs. Jones ordered as if Sara wasn’t already rising to her feet. “I’ll just busy myself on the balcony. I’ll lock up on my way out. Don’t mind a little old lady. Oh and remember, if he says late- wrap it up Honey. I’ll just put the condoms I brought you on your nightstand, just in case.”

Sara rolled her eyes as she took a deep breath and peeked through the peephole in the door. She tried to calm the blush already burning bright on her face thanks to that old woman. Condoms, really? Sara had been thinking of maybe a kiss. Hell, she’d never even purchased condoms before. With another deep breath she focused on trying to make out who was outside her door.

Safety was always a concern for her but she could just make out Steve’s face too close to the door as he shifted from foot to foot. It was cute to see a sign of nerves from someone so handsome when he didn’t know she was looking. With one last deep breath, she opened the door.

“Sara. Sorry, I know I’m early.” Steve scratched the back of his neck and glanced down before pushing the flowers in his hand toward her somewhat forcefully. “I ah- I got these for you. I hope-”

“They’re perfect. Thank you, Steve. Please come in.” Sara took the flowers from him and opened the door wide enough for him to come inside before shutting it behind him.

With a deep breath she took in the scent of the flowers. Daisies, carnations and lilies mixed together for a warm and colorful arrangement that seemed to embody the summer season. She couldn't help but smile warmly as she placed them in a vase that normally sat empty on her small dining room table.

“I should have called…” Steve ran his hands down his thighs, clearly a ball of nerves and Sara couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled from her throat as she turned to him.

“She wasn’t doing anything anyway.” Mrs. Jones called from where she sipped coffee she at some point helped herself to perched on the balcony chair. Somehow the woman could move fast and silently when needed and it was one of the world’s greatest mysteries as to how she did it.

“It’s fine, Steve. Really, it’s so good to see you again.” Finally, he looked directly at her and smiled. Rosemary could have died happy with the way his smile lit up his face.

“God, you look beautiful.” Steve breathed the words and Rosemary couldn’t stop the blush that rushed to her face as he took the sight of her in.

Standing next to the flowers, he found her to be a vision of classic beauty. Her auburn hair was free flowing in loose waves that seemed to dance as she moved. Again she wore a dress but this one took his breath away. It was a simple classic cut that would have almost been appropriate even in his time but the thin fabric cling to her as she moved.

It was easy enough to tell how thin it was as she moved about he could see the ever so subtle flexing and shifting of muscle hidden under the fabric. Steve wondered if it was as soft as it looked. She paired the forest green dress with simple black heels and a delicate chain around her neck. Simple earrings hung from her ears. A vision of classic beauty.

“Thank you. You’re not half bad tonight yourself Steve.” She hoped her face wasn’t nearly as red as it felt when her words jerked him out of his thoughts. Steve wore a simple white button up shirt that hugged his frame and a pair of dark wash jeans that clung to his thighs. Just a bit dressed up from their first meeting but perfectly delectable on his own.

“So, where are we off to?” Rosemary smiled at Steve as they made their way down the stairs that would spit them out into the cafe. Mrs. Jones would lock up at the end of the night but she had a key and codes to get in at all hours and the trust to use them.

“It’s a surprise.” Steve fidgeted and dearly hoped that listening to the team wasn’t going to bite him in the ass.

“Fancy car.” Rosemary whistled as they stepped outside earning a laugh from Steve. “What do you do?”

“Oh just some security work.” Steve smiled and hated how he didn’t want to tell her right then what it was he did.

If she didn’t know he would get to know her as just Steve for a bit longer yet. If he told her now he worried that she’d think he was just using it to get her to sleep with him at the end of the date or at least that was the excuse he gave himself.

“Must be some security work if you’re driving this.” Rosemary laughed and cringed internally, hating how materialistic she sounded. The car was nice, yes. It was also very expensive. She knew this because Julian drives a similar car.

“I ah-” Steve laughed awkwardly and tried speaking again as he opened the door for her. “It’s actually my boss’ car. He insisted that it wasn’t proper to take a lady out on a Harley.”

“Oh.” The door shut and Steve rushed around to the driver’s side. “Well, I wouldn’t have minded a ride on the Harley.”

“Yeah?” Steve glanced her way and she hated how she blushed seemingly instantly.

“I’ve never been on one before.” She shrugged and watched as the small town passed by her window.

“I’ll be sure to bring it by next time.” Next time?

Could she let there be a next time? This was risky enough. If they got along well and there was a next time leaving would hurt more.

“I’d like that.”

He took them into the hills just outside of town. The sun was bright and warm. It was a perfect summer day. Leaving town however was something she didn’t expect. It was also something she knew Julian would frown at. She’d probably have to hear about it later.

Rosemary decided she regardless of what pain was going to come- and this was surely going to result in pain- it was worth feeling a bit more normal. When Julian asked why she was indulging she would just tell him it was for her cover. People were starting to ask questions, she could say. Leaving so soon would just raise more questions.

It occurred to her that for the first time in her life, she was considering lying to the only person she’s always had. Glancing over at Steve, his bright blue eyes on the road and sun playing off the blonde highlights she had wondered about the weekend prior. She hoped he was worth it.

Tag lsit: @bambamwolf87, @dangertoozmanykids101, @sweetbeary713, @0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7, @theoneanna, @alexakeyloveloki, @j-u-s-t-4, @missaphrodite23, @princess76179, @fairlightswiftly

#@steve x oc #steve x ofc #steve x original female character #steve x original character #steve rogers

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transbuck · 6 years

Text

The Fallout (1/?)

Summary: The Fake AH Crew are at the height of their career, lead by notorious crime boss Geoff Ramsey of the legendary Roosters, and they're about to pull off the heist of the century, the Strauss Museum heist. Everything is going exactly as planned until an explosion goes off too soon, just in time to kill Geoff. The Fakes are thrown, and the joy of the heist is cut short. The Fakes retreat to a safe house in the hills to deal with the fallout of the Kingpin's death. But can the Fakes keep it together without their leader?

AO3

The sun blazed down, baking the city of Los Santos. Heat rose from the pavement, the air hazy. Sirens blared as police cars raced through the streets, chasing a hideously coloured X80 proto. The orange and purple paint gleamed in the evening light, a sunset driving through the streets. The driver grinned, all smiles as he glanced over to the passenger window, where his buddy hung out the window, faced backwards towards the oncoming cars, his gleeful face hidden by his dark skull mask. The driver let out a loud whoop as the other man slid back into the car, leaning behind the seats. Sliding his mask on top of his head, he searched through the darkness. The driver steered them zig zag through the streets, weaving between cars, shoving the car through too-narrow alleys, before leading the police behind him on a long, straight stretch. His passenger, having found what he was looking for, sat himself on the edge of the car window, half standing as he faced down half the Los Santos police force. He pulled a long cylinder from the car and placed it over his shoulder. He didn’t bother to pull his mask down, giving the leading car a perfect view of his face, before he fired the rocket, blowing up the line of cars in a chain reaction

“In other news, the dynamic duo known as the ‘Battle Buddies’ consisting of notorious assassin, the Vagabond, and his partner, Rimmy Tim, wreaked havoc in downtown Los Santos today. Their motive is still unknown, as nothing has been reported stolen, and no civilians were harmed. It is still unclear how the incident even began. Here’s Detective Harrison to tell us what they know.” The TV clicked off, the remote pointed accusatorily at the screen. The man who held it had his other hand on his hip, his eyes wild.

“What were you guys thinking?” The man screeched, his handlebar moustache bristling as he waved the remote around. “You just had to lay low for one more day!” His voice got higher with every word and he threw the remote at the couch, looking less like the leader of the notorious Fake AH Crew, and more like an upset dad scolding two overgrown children, who didn’t look at all sorry.

“Ah Geoff, don’t worry about it! We were just having some fun.” The Vagabond pulled off his skull mask, grinning. “Yeah, we didn’t even really do anything other than blow up the cops.” Rimmy Tim nudged the Vagabond, smirking. “Ryan here just wanted to try out his new toy.”

“It doesn’t matter you morons! They’ll be watching us now, because your stupid faces are all over the TV!” Geoff screamed, his voice cracking. He put his head in his hands.

“Technically, Rimmy Tim’s face is all over the TV. Jeremy is a law-abiding citizen.” Jeremy tossed his orange and purple jacket on the couch before collapsing on top of it. “Don’t worry Geoff, everything’s going to be fine.” He slid his hands behind his head and leaned back against the couch, a satisfied smile on his face as Geoff emitted a series of annoyed noises before storming off to his room.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that Ryan, you like winding him up as much as I do.” Ryan rolled his eyes before moving to sit next to Jeremy on the couch.

“Okay, look. He doesn’t like me as much. It bothers him way more when you do it.” He reached for the remote, turning the TV on and flipping through the channels. “The poor man just wants you to like him.”

“I do like him! I’d never tell him that, but I do.” Jeremy insisted. “And if you tell him I’ll kick your ass.” Ryan smirked at this, looking Jeremy up and down, one eyebrow cocked.

“Yeah. Okay, short stack.” Jeremy huffed at this, whacking Ryan with a pillow before standing up and stomping off. “I’m kidding!” Ryan called after him, not moving from the couch. “Wouldn’t tell him anyway.” He said at the TV, settling on the Addam’s Family Values movie. He’d watched it after his infamous argument with Gavin, having still not believed that there was a kid named Pubert in the movie, and found that he’d enjoyed the movie. He enjoyed being wrong less, especially when being wrong meant that Gavin was right.

“But Michael, it’d be so cool Michael!” Speak of the devil. Ryan quickly switched the tv off, looking over his shoulder.

“Absolutely not.” Ryan recognized Michael’s voice, fake anger hiding amusement. “Where would we get the bikes?” Michael walked into the living room, a pleading Gavin at his heels, a poorly concealed grin on his face.

“Ah don’t worry about it!” Gavin waved his hand, dismissing the concern.

“I don’t know what you’re planning, but don’t! Low! Profile!” Geoff’s voice was muffled by the door. “I’ll kick somebody’s ass! I don’t care whose!” Michael rolled his eyes, flopping onto the couch next to Ryan.

“Man, this heist has sucked all the fun out of being criminals.” Gavin threw himself on top of Michael, promptly getting thrown to the floor with a not entirely unamused ‘get off!’.

“Speak for yourselves. It only takes the fun out if you actually listen to Geoff.” Ryan said. “The Battle Buddies had a mission this morning. A mission of fun!” As he grinned, Gavin shivered a bit. He often forgot just how unsettling Ryan’s smile could be. He stood up quickly, heading around the couch and into the kitchen.

“I’m getting a bloody beer.”

“Get me one!” Michael called after him. “And go get Jeremy, we’ll play Mario Party.” Ryan groaned and tried to stand up to leave, but Michael caught his arm and pulled him back down. “Man, Gavin, Ryan’s so excited about this! Hurry up and get Lil’ J so we can start!”

“Okay, alright, calm down.” Gavin’s voice receded.

“Why even bother playing, you always win.” Ryan crossed his arms and raised his shoulders to his ears, looking like an upset child. Michael rolled his eyes.

“You won the last two times Ryan, come on. Stop being a baby or I’ll call Geoff out here.” Michael said, grinning as Ryan’s frown deepened.

“Don’t start any games right now, we gotta make dinner.” Michael looked over the back of couch to see the Jack in the kitchen, unloading groceries.

“Aww man.” Michael slumped down on the couch. “Already told Gavin to get Jeremy.” He mumbled into his chest.

“Good, then you guys can make dinner. Gavin and I need to run out to take care of one last thing for the heist. It was supposed to be Gavin and Ryan, but someone decided to get themselves on the news, so now I have to leave dinner in the hands of you idiots.” Jack looked at Ryan, who looked back, eyes wide.

“Whatever do you mean? The only people on the news are Rimmy Tim and the Vagabond.”

“Just go get Geoff.” Ryan stood up and sauntered off towards Geoff’s room. “Michael, get over here and start chopping onions. We’re having soup and fish and chips.”

“Mario Party!” Gavin came running into the living room, launching himself towards the couch. Jeremy trailed behind him, scrolling through his phone.

“Nope!” Jack’s voice was cheery as he left Michael in the kitchen. “Come on Gavin, Team Trial and Error’s gotta make one last supply run before tomorrow.” Gavin’s head popped up over the couch.

“I thought it was supposed to be Rye-bread and me?”

“It was going to be, until this afternoon happened. Now it’s us. And we gotta take care of it before dinner so we can finalize the plan after dinner.” Jack grabbed Gavin’s jacket from the kitchen table and threw it at him. “Jeremy, you’re helping with dinner. Gavin, let’s go.” Jack walked out the door, Gavin by his side.

The streets were jampacked with rush hour traffic when Jack and Gavin stepped out of the skyscraper that was Geoff’s house. Jack nodded at the motorbike with far too many mirrors leaned haphazardly against the building. Gavin pulled his keys out, tossing them to Jack before wrestling the bike onto the street. Jack straddled the bike and Gavin slid on behind him, holding on to his waist, Jack’s shirt scrunched in his hands. He slid his sunglasses out of his pocket and onto his face, nodding at Jack, who took off, weaving Gavin’s horrendous bike between the cars. Cars honked angrily at them as they passed by, a little too close for comfort. Jack pulled the bike up in front of a small warehouse. Gavin hopped off, taking the keys from Jack and leaning the bike down on the ground. They made their way around the back of the building, to a reinforced steel door. The door swung open as Gavin knocked on it. They looked at each other, brows furrowed, hands reaching for their guns. Jack pulled his gun out, motioning for Gavin to follow him, and they crept through the door.

The warehouse was empty, save for three boxes stacked in the middle, a single light bulb hanging above them. Jack groaned a bit, letting his gun hang by his side. Gavin approached the boxes, sizing them up. There was no way they would be able to haul them back. The smallest box was half the size of Gavin, and the largest was bigger than Jack. Gavin ignored Jack’s groan, grinning at him instead, raising his eyebrows. Jack rolled his eyes, but his mouth betrayed him, and he smiled back at Gavin before leading him out of the warehouse. They ran across the street, into the Maze Bank. Jack glanced down at his watch before showing it to Gavin, who nodded. Jack headed for the elevator, and Gavin slipped into an unmarked door. Keeping an eye on his phone, Gavin made his way down a hall towards the security room. There was only one security guard inside, headphones in, sat at the desk in front of the wall of screens. He wasn’t even watching them. Gavin shook his head, smirking. He slipped inside, pulling his gun from his waistband and slamming the butt of it into the guard’s head. The guard crumpled under the force and slid from the chair onto the ground.

Gavin sat in the oversized chair in front of the monitors, pulling his phone out.

Guard down. Monitoring the cameras.

He looked back up at the screens, where he saw Jack slip into the stairwell, making his way up to the roof.

Hurry. Two minutes.

Jack hurried up the stairs before reaching a door. He bent down, pulling out a small wallet from his pocket. As Jack picked the lock to the roof, Gavin looped footage from earlier in the day, erasing their presence from the bank. When he looked back at the monitor, Jack had made it onto the roof, where a cargobob sat. Gavin watched as Jack knocked out the pilot and dumped him on the roof before flying across the street. Gavin finished looping the footage and made his way out of the bank and across the street. Gavin hauled the boxes out of the warehouse and attached them to the hovering cargobob.

All good. Meet you at home.

“Ryan threw my onion away!”

“We don’t need an onion, there’s no room for onions here!”

“I need a plate, someone get me a plate!”

“Geoff, there’s a plate right in front of you.”

“The pot’s hot I need a plate!”

“There’s one right in front of you! Geoff!”

“I wanted onion soup Ryan!”

“I’m a fish and chips man, take your onions elsewhere!”

“What the hell is going on here?” They all froze at the sound of Jack’s voice. Geoff had a steaming pot of soup, Ryan and Michael were halfway through starting a food fight, and Jeremy was shoving a plate at Geoff. Gavin peered around Jack at the others, a grin on his face. They all looked at each other before exploding into a wall of accusations and finger pointing.

“Alright, enough! Let’s just get dinner on the table.”

The kitchen was a whirl of activity as Jack took over, barking orders at the others. Dinner finally made it on the table, with only a few arguments, and the Fakes sat down, Geoff at the head of the table, and dug in.

“How was the supply run?”

“Geoff, it was right fun, Geoff.” Gavin said through a mouthful of chips. “Wish you’d told us it was so big, we took the Faggio.”

“The Faggio? That piece of shit?” Geoff rolled his eyes. “You can barely move yourselves on that thing. God.”

“Ay, that things reliable! It’s been with me since you hired me!” Gavin defended his bike. “Reminds me of home.”

“Wow your home must be real shit Gav.” Michael said, waving his fork around. “That bike is garbage.” Gav squawked at him, offended.

Ryan waved his hand at the two of them. “Guys, guys. We all know England’s shit. Let’s focus. We have a heist to pull off.” He grinned, rubbing his hands together and leaning forward in his seat. “Let’s clear this shit off and get to heistin’!”

The Fakes gathered around a table, blueprints, maps, file folders, and photos spread out in front of them, a jumbled mess to the untrained eye. Geoff pinned a map up to a corkboard behind him, alongside a slew of photos and a blueprint. The others stared intently at the map as Geoff traced routes on the map, marking the teams and their jobs, confirming that everyone was prepared. The restless excitement from the day had fizzed out, the seriousness of the heist settling on the Fake’s shoulders. Geoff tossed a file at each of them, before waving a hand, dismissing them. The crew dissipated, wandering off to various points of the penthouse. Geoff sat at the table, staring down at the plans. It was now, or never.

#fahc #ah #ragehappy #achievement hunter #myfic #fake ah crew

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savvylark · 6 years

Text

Not Your Mama’s Hallmark Christmas part 6

You can catch up with Part 1 here Part 2 here Part 3 here Part 4 here 5 here or read it all on Ao3 here

Katniss tends to be cynical about materialism, love, and marriage. Katniss finds herself having a very different Christmas this year with the Mellark family, posing as Peeta’s girlfriend. What will change when this starts to look like a strange Hallmark movie?

Thank you to the amazing @javistg being my beta and encouraging. Thank you @peetabreadgirl for your ideas and support. @everlarkingjoshifer made this banner for me. Isn’t it lovely?

The beauty that comes with the winter season brings with it new dangers.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that about 1 million Americans are injured, and 17,000 people die, as a result of slip-and-fall injuries every year. Studies show slip-and-fall injury rates increase significantly as temperatures decline, with most injuries resulting from contact with outside services.

Peeta and I rush through the hospital doors hand in hand.

“Which room is William Mellark in?” We find Rye asking at the front desk, his voice full of concern.

Loretta is seated in a chair outside Will’s hospital room. She’s trying to hold all her emotions in, but the fear is gripping her.

Dane is seated next to his mom. He offers his hand, which she clutches for dear life.

Peeta’s dad took a nasty fall when he slipped on ice. Will Mellark has a fractured knee that will require surgery. He has a sprained wrist, and they will be keeping him for a few days due to his head injury.

I heard Peeta talking to his mom about staying past the New Year to help with his dad. I wonder if I should stay with him?

Loretta keeps muttering how young her husband is, how fit and healthy. Before long, she’s blaming herself.

The brothers share a look and exchange a few whispered words, with a few head nods they set a plan in motion.

Peeta and I picked up dinner for the 5 of us while Rye and Dane stayed with mama Mellark.

After much convincing, Dane took his mom home to sleep while Peeta and I stayed at the hospital to ease Loretta’s fears of being away from her husband.

The nurses brought us a cot. Peeta and I found comfort snuggled into one another. I fell asleep to his heartbeat under my ear, his solid chest under my fingertips and his fingers in my hair.

My dreams were less than innocent, twice I woke up too warm and kissing Peeta. I had to calm my thoughts and still my actions. Take deep breaths. We were in a hospital, after all. It’s kind of embarrassing how much I want him. In my defense, he didn’t seem to mind.

In the morning, the sight of Peeta’s tousled hair and bright eyes make my heart flutter.

“Good morning, beautiful!” he greets me handing me a fresh cup of coffee. He must have risen hours ago.

“Thank you.” I smile and accept his gift of caffeine.

“No, thank you so much for being here with me!”

I shrug my shoulders.

“That’s just what we do, Peeta,” I state simply. His smiling reply makes something inside my chest grow so huge, almost 3 times in size.

I rub my chest unconsciously.

As we wait in Will’s hospital room, we’ve been told Peeta’s dad may wake up soon.

There’s a stirring as Peeta softly talks to his dad.

“I’m going to call mom. She’s going to want to be here once he wakes up,” Peeta tells me before he leaves the room.

I nod.

This might be a good time for me to call Johanna.

“Hey! It’s me! How’s the beach?” I ask my roommate.

“Amazing! It’s warm and beautiful, and so many guys and gals to take back to my hotel! How are Mellark’s cinnabuns for Christmas?” Jo teases.

“It’s been great, actually. Really great!” I answer her, vague but honestly.

“Mmmhmm,” I can almost hear the smirk on her face.

“Are you going to keep him?” she asks so simply, like it’s not complicated at all to start a relationship with one of my best friends who has been my pretend boyfriend for the last 5 days.

“That depends,” I answer just as simply.

“Let me guess, you’re doing that thing again where you just don’t talk. Have you learned nothing?

“When that picture in college surfaced, you both talked about anything and everything except your undying attraction. People only teased you because they figured that you would get together with Peeta-bread, –you two were so hot for each other– but it was only obvious to everyone else,” Johanna explains.

I take deep breaths and fight the feelings bubbling up inside me.

“Okay, I won’t let the opportunity pass this time. I think, I think he’s it for me, Johanna.”

“I think so too.” Her voice velvety with affection.

I swallow and explain, “Up until yesterday, everything had been perfect. But his dad had an accident, and we’re here at the hospital. If he needs me, I’m going to stay over New Year’s. I can’t tell him yet, it’s too selfish.”

I hear a door latch so I try wrap up my call.

“I have to be there for him as his FRIEND. That’s it. That’s all I am, Peeta’s friend.” I explain.

“Well, tell him you’re crazy about him the second you have the chance,” Johanna insists.

“I will. Thanks, Jo, bye.” I end the call.

It seems the odds are never in my favor, in life and in love. I thought this week may be the exception.

I turn to find Peeta looking down, closed off body language. Maybe he’s taking his dad’s accident harder than I thought?

“My mom is on her way over,” he tells me.

I step closer, hoping to calm his concerns, but his response is still closed off.

“Hey, Peeta, I was thinking, I want to stay in town with you as long as you’re here. If you need me?” I offer. Here it is, the precursor to bearing my soul.

I can’t meet his eyes yet, I feel too vulnerable.

“Why? Because I need a friend?” Peeta asks, with a biting tone.

“I-I just want to be here, for you, with you. I want to be with you, Peeta.” I try not to say it so monotone, but my fears get the best of me.

I don’t know why I imagined him wrapping me in an embrace at these words. When I find a pained expression on Peeta’s face I realize I was very wrong to force myself on him, in the hospital with his injured dad.

Peeta mutters, “Conceal, don’t feel, put on a show…”

“What?” I ask. He looks embarrassed, like he didn’t mean to say it out loud.

“Nothing, uh, something I learned from my… nieces.” He shrugs and rubs the back of his neck.

I step back and take deep breaths.

“You don’t want me? You don’t want me to stay with you?” I try to ask with the least amount of emotion possible.

“No.” Is his only answer. He looks angry.

Then we hear Will Mellark moan. Peeta rushes to his dad’s side.

Suddenly, I feel like I’m intruding. This is a family time. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t belong.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” I tell Peeta. He responds with a nod.

I wait outside the room for what feels like an eternity.

Peeta and his dad are still lost in their own little world as I peek through the windows of the hospital room.

If he doesn’t need me to stay over New Year, why wait?

I’ll just get a cab outside the hospital and disappear. There’s no way I’m going to stick around while my heart rips apart.

So THIS is what a broken heart feels like?

Peeta and I never talked about our feelings, but they became very real to me.

I did his favor, and even though we hadn’t planned on my leaving for a few more days, he doesn’t need me anymore, I don’t need to stay.

I should have known.

No. I knew.

I knew I could never deserve Peeta Mellark.

I packed up all my things and called a cab for the train station, then turned my phone off.

Waiting at the train station, I can’t help realizing how lonely I feel. How incredibly empty my heart feels without Peeta. I will myself not to cry, but I’m left with a burning lump in my throat for hours.

I think I was falling for him.

I didn’t even admit it to myself before I had lost him.

Why did I let him slip through my fingers? Everything hurts right now.

After failed attempts to compartmentalize my feelings for Peeta, and trying to convince myself that I’m strong enough to be alone, I doze off in the train.

The chill the wind gust brings only reminds me that being alone has never felt so bitterly cold.

I tighten my jacket, but it’s no use.

Instead of unpacking when I arrive home, I curled up on the couch with National Lampoon’s Christmas, a bottle of wine, and Ice Cream.

I decided to call Madge the next morning.

“Hey Madge, I’m back in town. Let’s talk New Year’s Eve. What’s the plan?”

Madge answers “New Year’s Gala for the Mayor at 7pm. It’s a masquerade, black tie. Gale will be relieved to have you as an ally.”

“Okay, I’ll call if I need help with what to wear, but I think my bridesmaid dress from Annie’s wedding could work.” I share my thoughts.

“Yes, you look so good in red! If Peeta saw you in it…” Madge pauses, “I thought you said you were staying after Uncle Will’s fall? Any reason in particular that you’re back early, Kat?”

“Peeta said he doesn’t need me, so I left.” I answer, refusing to elaborate.

“My cousin is so dense.” Madge huffs. “See you in a few days!!”

“See you then! Don’t blind anyone with that new ring of yours!” I tease.

Madge laughs. “I can’t help it if I do! See ya.”

I make plans with Rue and shut my phone off again.

Rue and I meet up at the indoor rock wall, we try to do this once a month. It’s a great work out and we both really like to climb, a hobby I haven’t been able to share with anyone else.

“Katniss, I’m just so surprised that you’ll fight for everyone else you love but, when it comes to your own desires, you give up so easily.”

“I don’t know, Rue. What do I know about what I want anyway?” I shrug and climb on.

“You know you want to make it up the top before I do!” Rue says playfully as she gains the lead up the rock wall.

We laugh and continue vertically. Rue makes it to the top with a grin.

“All right! Lunch is on me next month,” I tell Rue as we’re lowered to the ground by rope and harness.

After Rue and I have stretched out, rehydrated, talked and laughed, we part ways and I head back to my apartment. I find Annie and Joanna deep in conversation.

“Katniss, we need to talk about you and Peeta.” Annie says seriously.

I shrug and take a deeper breath. Then I find a spot in the chair facing two if my closest friends.

“I think I have an idea of what happened, but will you fill us in?” Joanna asks me.

I scowl and nod.

“I told him I wanted to stay with him, that I wanted to be with him.” I take another shaky breath, chew my lip.

I’m met with surprised and confused expressions on my friends’ faces.

“Wow, you did?” Jo asks.

I nod.

“I’m proud of you, for one, that must have been hard,” my roommate commends me.

“But then, why are you here?” Annie asks.

“It wasn’t real for him. He-he-he told me he didn’t want me to stay over New Year’s. That he didn’t want me.” It all tumbles out, the lump in my throat grows and I take deep breaths trying to keep my emotions inside.

“Katniss, he’s been talking to Finnick. He’s acting wounded, as if you two broke up. I don’t know why he pushed you away. You need to talk to Peeta,” Annie states.

I shake my head no. “He already made a choice, what good would it do?” I ask Annie.

“Maybe he didn’t hear right, Brainless. You said yourself that his emotions were high after his dad’s accident. I don’t blame you for bolting, but at least open the lines of communication?” Johanna points to my phone that remains shut off.

“Look, you may have been faking in the beginning, but what I saw at the Mellark party was very real, for both of you,” Annie insists.

There’s a knock on the door. I look at Jo, wondering if she’s invited anyone. She frowns and shrugs. Annie replies with a similar shrug.

I’m greeted at the door with deep blue eyes and a tousled mop of blonde hair.

Peeta.

#savvylark #holiday fic #everlark holiday #everlark christmas #not your mamas hallmark christmas #everlark #things savvy writes

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kellbellsparkles · 7 years

Text

Spiraling

A Klangst and Lance sick fic one-shot I spent days working on and I’m so glad it’s finished! I hope you all enjoy it! ^^

“Lance. Laaaaaaaance.”

My head pounded. I must've hit my limit. The last thing I remember was barely making it into the training room. Ever since we got Shiro back and reunited Pidge with her brother, Matt, it'd been one heck of a party in the castle. Allura and Coran had all sorts of questions for Matt wanting to learn any information he had that could help us win the war. Shiro and Matt bonded over what their capture had done to them and were constantly shoulder to shoulder together. Pidge and Matt were catching up on precious family time missed. I wanted to feel happy for them; reuniting with family is everything I could ever dream of. That's exactly why I could hardly stand looking at them.

Matt showed Hunk how to build these little dino-like drones that blow up when they touch an enemy, their cute exterior masking their demonic motive. He also brought with him new recipes for Hunk to start crafting himself. I'd never seen his eyes flash that excitingly since he discovered how to make whipped cream with the space goo. Meanwhile, Keith showed interest in Matt's unique combat style. Even though they weren't in the same class back in the Garrison, Matt immediately recognized him from being the best pilot besides Shiro and was more than happy to take him under his wing. Of course.

I could grieve over how I was now the eighth wheel, but every single moment, every single day, my thoughts traveled back to Keith. He just had to attract another fan to walk right past me and remind everyone how superior he was in every way. I approached Matt with classic beauty tips to restore the shine in his skin and hair that he had to have lost during his time fighting Galra with the rebellion, which he quietly nodded to as expected, but really, I couldn't handle reliving those cargo pilot years again.

I thought, what would Keith do? Heavily ironic, I know. But I was desperate to escape from the suffocating black hole I kept being pulled into. For two weeks, I waited until I heard Keith finally go to bed to take my turn in the training room; having to be checked up on by him would've been the greatest humiliation of all. I clocked in for two hours of hand-to-hand combat exercises, steadily increasing the difficulty day after day. I'd be lying if I said I made any progress. The training bots had me on my back faster than I could even make an effort to touch them. My body was littered with cuts, bruises, and scrapes and cried for relief. However, my older brother, Craig, always said, “What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.” And I would eventually learn something from this, right?

“Wake up, sleepy-head.”

I opened my eyes finally. I saw blue space ships and shooting stars circling around the ceiling light.

Wait a minute, I thought. I rubbed my eyes to do a double-take. They were the exact same shape, exact same colors as the ones in my bedroom back home. I sat up and looked down at my bedsheets: space with the galaxy swirls and the Canis Major, Cygnus, Gemini, and all the constellations that could visibly fit into the print. My eyes wandered frantically; my shelf with all my soccer ribbons and trophies, my poster of Shiro, my stuffed starter water Pokemon, my Little Mermaid wall clock, everything was the same.

“How are you feeling?”

That voice; that sweet, soothing, gentle, motherly voice. I couldn't believe it.

“Tina?” I said. “Is that really you?”

My older sister, Tina, was right there standing in front of me. There was no mistaking her long, luscious, curly brown hair and grassy green eyes. If I were a girl, I'd be looking directly in a mirror.

“Of course it's me, silly,” she said sweetly.

“B-But--” I stammered. “Me and Hunk and Pidge-- We found Shiro-- Busted him out of the Garrison-- Blue Lion-- Took us out to Kerberos-- Then through a wormhole-- Then the Galra-- Then Voltron-- Then we-- Then we--”

“Please settle down, Lance,” Tina said. “Take a deep breath.”

A lump rose in my throat; my hands were shaking madly. Was it all just a dream then? Tina patted my head. It should've calmed me right then and there, but I couldn't breathe still.

“You've been pushing yourself way too hard,” she told me. “Everyone's worried.”

“Wh-Who's we?” I asked shakily.

“Your friends,” she replied. “They've been waiting to hear what's been bothering you so they can help ensure this never happens again.”

“I don't understand-- Oww,” I held my head in my hands. It felt like Keith had thrust his knife in there after finally having had enough of me. Tina's hand lowered to my forehead, so soft and cool.

“You're really burning up,” Tina said sorrowfully. She took my shoulders gently and laid me back down. “Here. Now stay and rest until you're feeling one hundred percent better.”

“But there's so much I have to tell you!” I cried. After what felt like years, I was finally with my sister. I wanted to reach up and hug her and never let go and never leave again, but I didn't have the strength to.

“Shhshh,” she whispered. “Everything will be fine when you wake up.”

“GOOOOD MOOORNING, MCCLAAAIN FAMILYYYYY!!”

Out of nowhere, Craig, oh Craig, appeared in aviator attire, and my room morphed into the inside of a passenger airplane. Tina was still with me, holding my hand.

“And how are we today?” Craig cheered. “We've got clear skies ahead on our flight this morning accompanied with skittled dolphins mounted by duckling warriors and a guaranteed guest performance of the Woofs!”

“AIRPLANES!!”

Then little Diego, or widely known in our family and his friends as Deets, sprung in my face, flailing his arms. At that moment, whether I was aboard the castle or back home, I knew I had to be dreaming. I looked up and discovered the plane had no ceiling and indeed, there were a multitude of dolphins, dual and tri-colored making up the colors of the rainbow, being ridden by little ducklings wearing gladiator helmets. Suddenly, heavy jazz music launched its assault on my ears. I leaped from my seat, turned around, and found a pug on a drum set playing a slow, smooth rhythm, a yellow labrador on the piano, a German shepherd on the bass, and a corgi on the saxophone. They all wore black sunglasses and fedoras with the signature paw sign on them.

“Lance, look! I'm flying!!”

And to top it all off, my little sister, Luz, was giggling her butt off as she soared and spun in the sky in close proximity of the dragons.

“Luz?!” I shouted. “How did you even-- Get down from there!!”

“AIRPLANES!” Deets exclaimed again.

“And if you look down to your right,” Craig announced. “We're just passing over Bread Town, and they've graciously supplied us with all the bread fair sculptures to jolly our appetites through this plane wreck.” He presented me with the two miniature fair and ferris wheel creations, all in working order.

“Wheat or rye?” He asked me.

“Enough!” I cried, slapping the luscious-looking bread our mom could make away from me. I had some crazy dreams, but never had I felt so scared, so panicked, my heart racing faster than when I had to get a 3-D sculpture of the face of the warden of Beta Traz without getting caught. “Who's even flying the plane??”

I hauled out of my seat and ran for the cockpit. When I opened the door, it tore from the hinges and blew out into the sky, hitting one of the dolphins. It exploded into a puff of glitter and skittles. I clung onto the metal before I could meet the same fate.

“This is why you need a seat belt,” the pilot said. He emerged from the top of the seat, directly facing me.

“Slav??” I groaned. Of all people to appear next…. “What are you doing here??”

“In the fourty-seven point four percent of realities where seat belts have never been invented,” he said. “It's time to make your own with the seat belt creation kit.”

“What even is that??”

“Not that it matters now, for soon in this reality, we're going to dive deep into the mustard of sorrow.”

The plane jerked down and flung me back into my seat. We were descending faster and at a greater angle than any roller coaster I dared to board, and into mustard; so bitter and sour.

“Pull up!!” I screeched. “Somebody!!”

“Control's beyond our reach,” Craig said, suddenly floating above me. “Such has been our lives.”

“Come fly with me, big brother!” Luz sang, now riding a dolphin herself.

“AIRPLANES!!” Deets howled in harmony with the Woofs.

I turned to my sister about to plea for help in ending this madness, but she was just sitting still, smiling at me like nothing was wrong. I curled up in a ball and covered my ears. I prayed and I pleaded for it all to end, for someone to come swoop me from the chaos, but who? Who that wasn't my nonchalant siblings?

Hunk.

Pidge.

It was all coming back to me now.

Shiro.

Allura.

Coran.

Keith.

Keith….

A great force choked my heart. I lurched forward and clutched my chest. Whatever it was, my body didn't like it and made attempts to force it out my throat.

Keith?

Without thinking, I burst from my seat and reached for the sky.

“KEEEEEITH!!”

I flailed and wailed with all my might, only to be grabbed by both sides and pushed down. The action sent a shock wave of pain and spasms through my body, a sensation absent from when I was aboard the crashing plane. Could it be I was back in the real world? If so, which one? Was I back home like I had hoped for or in the castle? I tried to open my eyes, but my body went on full auto-pilot, thinking I was still trying to escape from the descent mustard of sorrow. The muffled voices writhed and scratched against me. I felt a great pressure on my legs next; I was completely immobilized. Before I could react, I felt a slight pinch in my right arm. A wave of relief flowed through my body and allowed it to sink into wherever I laid. I could finally open my eyes without panic holding them down.

There they were: from the front down, Hunk and Coran to my left and Shiro and Keith to my right. Sweat dropped from each of their bangs as they looked down at me with great worry. I never thought it'd be possible for them to be that concerned about me. Just how bad did I look to cause them such distress? I opened my mouth to speak, but a heavy spell started to force my eyes shut again. I fought it for as long as I could; there was something I needed to do first. I needed to get a good look at Keith to understand why I called out to him out of everyone else on the ship. His eyes were so focused, so gleaming, so purple.

So his Galra side was visible after all.

When feeling came back to my body next, I wondered if I had opened my eyes at all. My surroundings were almost pitch black. I felt something encircle and tickle my mouth. I reached my hand around it to feel what I thought was Allura's hair; the beautiful maiden coming around to give me mouth to mouth, but alas. It was a respirator mask. I sat up and ripped it off my face, sighing in disappointment. However, the action invoked a violent coughing fit. As I gasped for air, I discovered my voice had been tainted by an ugly rasp. I caught colds and the flu before, but out in space, we didn't know what vile specs of bacteria could contaminate our bodies and what effect they would have on humans.

Soon, the respirator was slapped back on my face and a pair of firm, half-gloved hands promptly took me by the shoulders.

“Lance!”

It was Keith. He rubbed my back as I let out a few more painful coughs. When the ordeal was over, he carefully laid me back down. I thought I had to have been dreaming still because the Keith I knew would never be careful let alone gentle.

“Don't move,” he instructed. “Or talk. Just rest.”

I had seen him pretty banged up, for instance, when he came back from the Blade of Marmora base with Shiro, but he looked like he had been flung into a violent vortex and struck by its quintessence. I squinted when I looked at his hair, not even a mullet, just a shaggy, spiky shrub that had too many radioactive fertilizers, and he had the darkest circles under his eyes I had ever seen on anyone.

“Whoa, Keith,” I said. “What big battle did I miss?”

“Nothing,” Keith growled. “Now shut it.”

“But you look horrible,” I remarked. “You should get suited up for a healing pod or something.”

“The only one here who needs a healing pod is you,” Keith snapped. “But there was a bug that kept them from working when Coran and Pidge made an attempt to update the castle technology to this time period.”

“Really?” I chuckled. “Does this mean we have space wi-fi now?”

“I don't know what that is,” Keith said, frustrated. “But you better shut your quiznak before I shut it for you.”

Man, Keith was really out of it.

“I don't think you're using that word correctly,” I teased.

“You don't understand!!” Keith yelled. “You never do!! Do I have to spell it out for you??”

If I had the energy to move my arms, I'd clap them over my ears; Keith's fiery voice had the power to make them bleed.

“Ow,” I grunted. “You're not the only one who's tired here.”

“Yeah, I'm tired! I'm tired of you thinking of yourself and not seeing how much I care about you! You didn't think I'd notice something was wrong?? You could barely stand without wobbling and your pants looked like they were going to fall down at any given time! You and your cheeky laugh when you said you were fine! I wish I could just rip out your vocal cords and strangle you with them!”

He had me by the shoulders again. I really did it this time, I thought. I closed my eyes waiting for the classic Kogane punch or choke-hold. A good ten ticks went by. Nothing. I opened my eyes to see what was taking him so long. What I saw was even worse than any glare or blow he could ever land on me.

“We almost lost you,” he sobbed grossly. “Your fever was so high and your heart rate broke the monitor. If we hadn't put you under in time….”

His tears dripped onto my chest. Crying was never good, especially if I was the one who caused it, and Keith's face was as red as the Red Lion and his shoulders quaked and heaved with each sob.

“Hey,” I said. “It's okay. It's not really worth crying over.”

“How?” Keith choked. “How can you say that? Didn't you hear what I just said?”

“Yeah,” I said. “But you? Crying over me? It's the dumbest idea for a soap opera in this whole universe. It's a worse and more unrealistic plot line than a man in his mid-twenties owning his own company. Now if it were Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Allura, Coran, or even Matt, then it would work better.”

A few ticks went by without a word; Keith's face appeared to have softened. I smiled, thinking my lecture had worked.

“See?” I said. “I knew you'd come to your senses--”

However, the universe had a queer idea for a prank: taking Keith's hands against my cheeks and leaning in so his forehead brushed against mine.

“Just shut up,” he whispered. “And don't ever speak that nonsense again.”

I gulped. Even though I wore a respirator, my lungs stopped functioning. My heart dropped to my stomach than bounced up to my throat. Then, I felt Keith's pants brush over my legs, and there he was, smack dab on my body. He pushed himself downward and laid his head on my chest.

“Uh,” I muttered. “Keith?”

He snored lightly in response. Just great. What if I had to use the bathroom? Surely he'd kill me for getting his clothes wet or waking up to the smell of the other thing. I shook him lightly.

“Keeeeith,” I whined. But my efforts were in vain. Just how long had I been out with this hot-headed idiot watching over me? I sighed in defeat. I would've liked it more if it had been Allura or another lovely looking space lady, but for some strange reason, I'd come to like this just as much. He laid there completely still with his arms spanned over me. I used the opportunity to flatten and straighten the blaring distraction on his head. I paused; I never imagined his hair would feel so smooth and soft. I rested and intertwined my fingers in his raven locks. If that didn't wake him up, then surely my drumming heart would, but he didn't stir an inch.

I didn't know what was coming over me. I thought maybe I had a fever still. Once I got better, everything would go back to normal. However, I had a feeling that Keith would never let this go, literally, and my hunch was right. Until I was on my two feet again, he trapped me to keep me from recklessly escaping. He didn't even care if anyone was watching or if Pidge was snapping pictures of us in an obviously intimate position. I was surprised that Shiro was enabling this behavior, but after he told me that I had contracted a space version of the flu called Phlegia, I stopped protesting. I remembered he and Keith have a history and must know the reason Keith is clinging to me like a kitten.

I panicked at the thought of Keith with little kitten ears and a tail. So cute! In fact, Galra resembled cats in a way. I found myself hoping that his Galra genes would surface and give him the same features. Suddenly, I discovered that I had never thought so intensely about an individual before despite having flirted infinitely with girls for a number of years. Why Keith, a guy, of all people? I didn't know why, but if there was one thing I was sure of, I didn't want to make him cry ever again.

#Voltron #Klance #Klangst #Langst

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everlarkficexchange · 7 years

Text

The Misunderstanding Part Six

Prompt 56: We know that Katniss has always feared becoming a mother, but what if Peeta starts to become nervous about being a father when he remembers how his family treated him when he was younger? Katniss knows she is better with actions than words so, to prove that he will be a good father, she gathers up some of the children Peeta has interacted with at the bakery/ snuck extra sweets to:) [submitted by Anonymous]

The Misunderstanding Part Six.

Prompt 56: by @mega-aulover

Rated G

April 20, 1946

“She’s coming too,” the soft voice whispered.

The voices the dim light and the heat suffocated her. “Don’t move sweetie, you need to rest. Your body is overheated.” Her mother gently explained.

“Oh my, it was such a fright,” her Aunt’s voice sounded higher pitched than usual.

“Effie why don’t you get me some more cool water, she still feels too warm.”

Katniss could hear the click clack of her Aunts heels as she walked away. The door to the room was opened and closed.

“Mother,” Katniss groaned.

“Shhh, Katniss just rest,” her mother cooed.

“Mother, Peeta…” Katniss felt achy and out of sorts.

“Hush, Prim went to go get him,” her mother said. Katniss felt a cool cloth being pressed on her forehead. She allowed herself to be pulled back down under. She awoke suddenly as the door crashed open. Her lashes were far too heavy to open.

Katniss weekly smiled, at Peeta. Her mother helped her sit up. Her body hurt and she was tired. She closed her eyes briefly.

“Is she okay Mrs. Everdeen?” Peeta’s anxious voice cut through the hazy fog Katniss felt. She wanted to reach out to him but her hands and arms felt heavy.

“She will be, Peeta.” Katniss recognized her mother’s voice when she was in nurse mode. It was a soft reassuring tone.

“What’s wrong with her?” Peeta sat down by her he took her hand, and Katniss instantly felt better.

“Well Peeta, you’re going to be a father,” her mother said.

Katniss felt the moment Peeta’s hand went slack and then she heard a thump. Peeta had fainted.

Saturday August 17th 1946,

The radio played a lively tune, as Katniss entered the bakery. She rubbed her back. Rye and her father-in-law were singing out of tune as they prepared the next batches of bread. “MMMMM….” Katniss moaned as she sniffed the air. “Are those cheesebuns?”

Rye grabbed one of them and beckoned her with his finger. Katniss had begun to waddle as she was now in the middle of her seventh month and her belly was huge. She wobbled over to where her brother-in-law stood with the treat. She snatched it from his hand, and stuffed it into her mouth.

“How’s my little precious peanut today?” Rye cooed into her belly. He placed his hand on her belly and the baby kicked. “Wow you’re getting stronger everyday.” Rye gave Katniss another cheesebun which she inhaled. I can’t wait to see you, we’re going to go to the zoo and I’m going to teach you to ride a bike. Oh and don’t forget ice-cream, I promise to take you to eat ice-cream every Sunday.”

Katniss laughed to see Rye Mellark dedicated skirt chaser come to his knees over her baby bump.

With worried eyes he asked, “Do you think my little peanut Mellark knows, I’m its uncle?”

“Rye you’re its only uncle, now move out of the way, it’s my turn to address my grandbaby.” Mr. Mellark walked into Katniss line of sight, “Morning Kit.”

“Morning Pop,” Katniss greeted. It was only seven in the morning but the Mellark boys had been awake since 4:30 in the morning.

“How is my little sweet-pea doing this morning?” Mr. Mellark murmured affectionately to Katniss belly. “Your mommy’s too skinny. The doctor said she needs to bulk up so I’ve got a special lunch planned for her today. All of your favorite foods.”

“More cheesebuns” Katniss whispered, “oooh with hot chocolate, and goat cheese with dried tomato and chicken, or how about lemon chicken soup with,” her eyes grew wider. “Roast-beef sandwiches with pickled cucumbers and mustard. Or a pasty, I haven’t had a pasty since I left England.”

Mr. Mellark laughed, “It’s a surprise, why don’t you go to the front ant sit with Peeta. It’s too hot for you here.”

“Nag,” she muttered but she did as he bid, but not before she grabbed a handful of the cheesebuns and made her way to the front of the shop. Her house dress was wide and airy, it was the only thing that fit her comfortably these days. the bakery was already stifling. As she ate she paused at the entryway between the back and the front of the store.

“Can I have this one,” Joyce Randolph asked skeptically as she pointed to the display of cookies. Her round little face was deep in concentration. She scrutinized each cookie carefully, at seven this was a paramount decision.

“Joyce Mr. Mellark has other things to do choose one, already,” her mother Mrs. Randolph admonished.

“This a very important choice Joyce has to make Mrs. Randolph,” Peeta said going behind the counter.

Katniss shuffled in a little further to see Joyce was not alone her four year old brother Joey was with his little face was smushed up against the cool glass of the display window. Katniss hid her smile as she sat down in the stool the family had put there for her.

“I’m so sorry,” Mrs. Randolph mouthed to Katniss.

Katniss shook her head, and wrinkled her nose to let Mrs. Randolph know everything was alright.

“That one,” Joey said.

“Sure you can have which ever one you choose,” Peeta was hunched down between Joyce and Joey.

Katniss gently rubbed her baby as she watched the masterful way Peeta dealt with the children. In the beginning when she’d found out she was pregnant she was terrified of having a child. She was scared of her baby going through a war and being killed in some far away land. So many boys didn’t come back home. She’d voiced her fears to her mother and Aunt, but they helped her calm her fears. Oddly enough the one person who should’ve been over the moon was Peeta.

He’d fainted at the news and although he was present at every doctor’s visit or appointment, he kept his distance. On the surface he was doing what he needed to do as a father. He cleared out a space for the nursery and focused in on getting it ready. But Peeta was hesitant to put his hands on her belly. They’d made love, for sure, if anything she couldn’t get enough of Peeta. All she had to do was look at him in a certain way and he was ready for action.

But when it came to the baby she saw the fear in his eyes. Katniss had an idea it had to do with his mother and the way she treated him growing up. His mother hurt Peeta, emotionally and physically. He hid his issues well but having gotten to know him.

“He’s going to be a wonderful father,” Mrs. Randolph sighed, her children were now sitting on his lap with large chocolate chip cookies.

Katniss frowned as an idea began to formulate in her brain, “Mrs. Randolph you sister is Agnes Gifford owns the little school for children.”

“Yes,” Mrs. Randolph. “My sister and I we both run it.”

“Can anyone volunteer?” Katniss asked.

“I believe so,” Mrs. Randolph’s said but her eyes filtered down to Katniss baby bump. “We are always looking for volunteers.”

Katniss persisted, “Even men?”

“Well,” Mrs. Randolph asked the inevitable. “What is this about?”

Katniss made sure his attentions were still with the kids. “Peeta’s scared of being a father, its one thing to give cookies to the children in the bakery-”

“My husband was the same way,” Mrs. Randolph sadly spoke. Her husband was one of the men who didn’t make it home from the war. “He had fears about being a good father.”

“If he could volunteer, it will show him he’s going to be fine with our baby arrives,” Katniss rubbed her belly.

Mrs. Randolph looked at Peeta then at Katniss. “So you want your husband to work with a classroom full of children.”

“Yes, I want to experience the worst of it,” Katniss raised an eyebrow. “It will be good for him in the long run.”

Mrs. Randolph chuckled. An understanding was exchanged between both women, Peeta needed to face his fears head on. “When would you like to start?”

“I’d have to speak to my father-in-law about it but if he agrees then he can start Monday,” Katniss smiled.

Mrs. Randolph eventually left, and by the end of the day Katniss had the other two Mellark boys eating out of her hands. She’d even recruited her sister Prim to come and help clean up at night. Peeta however was not happy about the suggestion.

They were in their bedroom and she was calmly laying on her back watching him pace. Peeta took the news as she expected him to. She’d learned a few things in the time they were married. She knew that he listened when they fought, and he was an excellent communicator even though she wasn’t. So despite his agitated sate he would pay attention to each word she uttered.

“Why would you ever suggest that I volunteer with the kids?” He paused to see if she had an answer.

“Well,” Katniss began but was cut off.

“I have so many things to do, with the ba… with getting the nursery ready, and then theirs the bakery. Dad’s teaching me to do the books. Rye’s leaving, as you have the ba…well you know.”

Katniss smiled, “You can’t say the word baby.”

“I can too,” Peeta sputtered. He stood their arms crossed looking like four year old whose toy had been taken away.

Katniss laughed, then said, “I know this stems from your mother.”

Peeta became quiet he sat down next to her defeated. “I’m just afraid of hurting you or-”

“Peeta you could never hurt me, you’re the gentlest person I’ve ever known. Remember when I yelled at you at the Fair last year.” Katniss rubbed his shoulders. “You didn’t yell back, you didn’t react the way I thought you would.”

Peeta looked over his shoulder at her, his brow was wrinkled, “React the way you thought?”

“You didn’t throw a tantrum,” Katniss said.

“What are you driving at?”

Katniss gently rubbed his muscles, “You remember Gale?”

“Yeah, I always you two were an item. I was so happy when I discovered you two weren’t together. He left for the war and I overheard you tell Madge you and he was nothing but a friend.”

“Gale was such a pistol. Whenever we had a disagreement, he’d loose his control. His aim was to make me feel small and insignificant.” Katniss stopped rubbing his shoulders. Peeta sat next to her listening. She placed her head on his shoulder. “Gale always wanted to win at any cost. Sometimes I feared Gale when he went bananas he has so much anger inside of him.”

“What did you talk about?”

“The war, Gale wanted to go and fight. I told him not to be so anxious to join. He wasn’t in the know, but he didn’t want to listen to me. Gale thought it was all gobbledygook.”

“That’s why you never fell for him.” Peeta took her hand in his and squeezed it.

She squeezed his hand, a soft smile came upon her face. She glanced up at him. “Peeta, you’ve never belittled me, even when we’ve had a row. You’ve always have been calm and accepting. I’m the one with the fiery temper.”

Peeta laughed, “I wouldn’t want you any other way,” he placed a kiss on her lips.

“It’s why you need to go that classroom. You think you’re going to be like you mother and I want to prove it to you.” She put her hand on his face, “If you can handle screaming out of control children in a classroom, than you can handle your own son or daughter.”

“Okay Katniss I’ll go.”

Katniss quietly let her eyes graze his strong capable shoulders. The muscled chest and she bit her bottom lip, “I think you need to be rewarded for excellent choice making.”

“Well I always did get high marks for behavior in school,” Peeta wiggled his eyebrows. Katniss chuckled as she slipped her hands around his arms. She hopped it worked.

Monday Evening, August 19th 1946

Katniss anxiously watched the road from the front of the window. She wanted to know how his day went. He left early this morning and hadn’t returned yet.

“Come Katniss, why don’t you come and eat,” Mr. Mellark called out from the counter.

She slowly shuffled across the floor.

The door opened and the bell above the bakery door chimed. There as a hush in the room. Katniss turned around. Her hand flew to her mouth. Peeta stood in the bakery with a smudges of pain on his face, there were hand prints on his shirt, clay in his hair. He looked a mess.

Peeta came rushing in and kneeled before her belly. “I can’t wait to see you.”

Katniss laughed, she slipped her hands through his blond locks. “What brought this on?”

“The school with all of the kids I had the best time. They were running all over the place it was controlled chaos but I loved every minute of it. I can’t wait until our baby is born. I’m going to show our little one to paint, to bake, to support do whatever she or he wants to be.”

Katniss smiled, she was glad he’d finally accepted his father hood. Now all she had to do was have the baby.

#Everlark Fic Exchange #Springtime Edition 2017 #submission #mega aulover #prompt 56

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mcrmadness · 4 years

Note

Die the asks thingy: everything divisible by three:D?

Oh my gosh I feel myself so stupid - I thought that was the question and not that you meant every question that has a number divisible by three! :D (I’m happy I realized that before answering something snappy like “Everything divisible by three is divisible by three ;D” lol.) But thanks! I need to do bit of counting here but let’s see what comes out of this!

This was to the Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well -ask thingy. So many questions that I will leave only a few before the read more link!

3. When is your birthday? It was actually just a few days ago, so in June, and I was born in 1991. 6. What’s your lucky number? 13. 9. How tall are you? Short :D Only 156cm or so. No idea what that’s in inches but not much. 12. What was your last dream about? I don’t remember last night’s dream anymore but the one I can remember was from the night before and I dreamt of someone from my fave band visiting me at my parents’ house and he was giving us his signatures, I was talking non-stop and he was then sitting on the stove eating a piece of organic sausage, and I just cringed because he hasn’t eaten meat in decades and I wasn’t sure if he knew it was meat or how he even knew it was organic meat. And then he turned into a dog and wanted to leave and I let him out and told him “But I understand, I’m also an introvert and very sensitive.” and told him to send my regards to his bandmates. 15. Favorite song? I don’t really have just one favorite, I have several from all bands I listen to and can’t really compare them to each other. 18. Do you want children? Nope. 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Had an open heart surgery at the age of 3, which is why I had to visit the hospital a lot before and after that. I still have to go to checkups every few years or so. I have also been to the hospital when I broke my arm at the age of 14.

24. Baths or showers? Showers. Bathtubs are becoming bit of a rarity in Finland and I’ve always lived in houses or flats with a shower only, bathtubs are more common in old places that haven’t been renovated yet. I remember when I was younger and my cousins’ has a bathtub and I always wanted to use it but I didn’t really get to do that because of how expensive it would have been and how much water you have to use to even get that filled. 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I don’t think so. I get too overwhelmed too easily, even tho sometimes I feel like I’d like to be a bit more visible. But I still have social anxiety which is why I often say that I’m an attention whore who is afraid of being the centre of attention. 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Just one under my head but then I have several others in my bed, mostly I’m hugging this body pillow because it just feels better in my joints etc. 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Just bread (rye or oat) with butter, sometimes with cheese, sometimes also with cucumber and herbal salt. And some days I’m more into eating oatmeal with milk and honey. Whatever it is I eat, I always get tea (Earl Grey with honey) afterwards. 36. Favorite clean word? Clean word? What is a clean word? I don’t get it :D 39. Do you have any scars? (I swear this question is in this ask thingy twice, somewhere in the end but it did not end up in my list!) Yes, the one from the heart surgery that will be lifelong scar, right in the middle of my chest. Then something I’m not sure if it’s from the surgery too or from the time when I was a teenager and my cat of that time tried to jump on me but failed and grabbed my leg with his claws. That made a nasty wound near my groin because I didn’t take care of it properly, and it maybe left a scar. It’s kinda hard to find anymore. 42. Are you a good judge of character? I believe so. I am very intuitive and can sense all kinds of things from people. I usually see straight away from people if I will get along with them or not. But sometimes I can also hold some prejudice that makes me not see clearly and later on have to admit to myself that this time I was wrong. But usually I do see this, it’s probably a lot harder to see from people you know than from people you don’t know, since that’s how you end up becoming friends with narcissistic people. It’s so much easier to tell other people that you know what, your friend/spouse sounds like a toxic person than see it when it happens to yourself. 45. What is your favorite accent? I guess this is about English and from these I have to say Scottish. I could just listen to that accent for hours and never get tired of hearing it :D It must be the r, it sounds so familiar because in Finnish we roll the r’s very hard. Lately I’ve also grown to tell Irish accent apart from others and I like the sound of that too. But if talking of others but native English accents, I have to admit that I really like it when people speak with an accent. And I’m especially drawn to German accent and I’m able to hear native Germans based on their English accent, I always love to play this guessing game with myself in my head where I try to guess someone’s nationality if their accent doesn’t sound like native English :D Finnish is also fun to find but at the same time I hate how it sounds because it remind me of the fact that’s how I sound, too. 48. Can you curl your tongue? Yeah. 51. Are you scared of spiders? Well, yes. Except daddy longlegs, they’re fun, but they also are not spiders, so... But yes, I am scared of spiders but at the same time I don’t really mind them because in Finland we don’t have many poisonous ones and those normally don’t find their way inside the houses, so the ones inside the houses are totally harmless and more of useful. So if I spot a small spider, I let her/him stay. And we have a deal: they don’t touch me and I won’t touch them. I’m more of afraid of touching a spider (or any bug) than just seeing them, so I won’t go in panic mode just from seeing them. 54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m messy. I’d say hygienic, but messy. I have arranged everything I can put in order but everything that I can’t or that I have to use more than every now and then, will become messy very, very soon. 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? It depends, from 15-20min to one hour? I usually set my alarm so that I can snooze for 30-60mins and then I’ll have about an hour to get ready. If I have to shower, then I add one more hour to it. During work and school mornings I usually got up so that I was ready in 15-20 minutes because it was happening every day and I needed as much sleep as I could because I don’t know how to go to bed early enough. 60. Do you talk to yourself? Nope, I don’t like hearing myself because it triggers/worsens my depersonalization. Sometimes I might say accidentally something aloud without planning that and I always scare myself :D:D:D:D 63. Biggest Fear? Hmmmmm... probably fire. Or death itself. 66. Do you like long or short hair? On myself or others? On myself I have this... well not short but also not long? Because it’s the easiest to maintain but I also think I’d look terrible with too short hair. (But I already look terrible so that probably wouldn’t change a thing.) 69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introverted ambivert. 72. Are you scared of the dark? Yes. I am able to sleep without the lights on and I actually need the room to be dark, but I am afraid of the dark, especially outside. 75. Have you ever started a rumor? I don’t think so. But if I have, then it was in my teens and totally unintentional because I can sometimes be socially very, very stupid. 78. Have you ever done drugs? Nope. 81. Can you roll your Rs? Sure thing :D I mentioned it already but Finnish has rolled r’s only so I can do that. But also Finns who can’t roll the r exist and sometimes I place my tongue wrongly behind my teeth and lose the r. 84. What color is your hair? Dyed black. My natural hair color is “golden blond”. 87. Do you keep a journal? No, unless random Tumblr posts are counted :D I don’t like journals, they just make me sad because I know I’m the only person to read them so when I write, I imagine myself being old and reading them and it makes me so sad because I imagine that no of those things like bands exist anymore and all the people and animals have died or friendships have ended and whatnot. 90. What makes you angry? Injustice. Impolite people. People who don’t listen to others. Especially when I’m told “I don’t care.” I feel so much rage inside of me that I just want to punch them and it’s scary because I am in no way violent and I don’t want to punch anyone, but I just don’t even have words for how angry that makes me feel. 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I don’t want to have kids. (But I am willing to take lots of cats and they can be both boys or girls, but only so that they can’t start breeding like rabbits :D) 96. How did you get your name? If this means my irl name: My mom came up with it as a longer version, then my dad came up with my middle name and they dropped the second half of the original name. So my parents thought it was a great name for a child. 99. Color of your bedspread? I don’t have one :D:D:D:D:D I have a loft bed so I don’t need to use them anyway.

#Anonymous #ask mcrmadness #long post

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lindafrancois · 5 years

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Paleo Diet Beginner Guide: 7 Things You Should Know Before Eating Like a Caveman!

So you wanna learn about the Paleo Diet, eh?

Here’s the ENTIRE diet in a nutshell:

If a caveperson didn’t eat it, neither should you.

Now, obviously there’s more to it than that – especially considering it doesn’t REALLY matter what cavemen ate in order for you to lose weight and get healthier.

But I’ll get to that later.

In this massive guide, I’m going to give you the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to the Paleo Diet.

I’ll answer the following questions

Will I lose weight on the Paleo Diet?

What can I eat on the Paleo Diet?

What do I need to avoid on the Paleo Diet?

I heard cavemen used to eat grains. What now!?

Now, this guide is SUPER long, so we took the liberty of converting it into a nicely designed guide for easy consumption (not literal consumption, unless you print it on bacon).

Grab your Beginner’s Guide to the Paleo Diet free when you sign up in the box below:

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If you can actually apply the rules of the Paleo lifestyle, you can get some pretty solid results.

It’s helped many people achieve jaw-dropping transformations, including my friend Saint, (whose story you can read here):

Or Staci from Team NF, our lead female trainer in our 1-on-1 Coaching Program):

The Paleo Diet will work for you, if you do it right.

You need to have the right mindset, you need to focus on the right foods, and you need to structure your environment so that you’re not tempted to backslide and abandon the Paleo Diet after a few days.

Ready? LET’S GOOOOOOO!

how does the Paleo Diet work?

Oh lord, another “diet.”

I know, it sounds like a fad/marketing ploy, but The Paleo Diet isn’t really a “diet,” and it’s actually quite logical when you think about it.

It’s also the most time-tested diet ever.

So, the opposite of a “fad.”

As the theory goes, tens of thousands of years ago, before Nike, Cap’n Crunch, and Healthy Choice meals, our ancient ancestors thrived as hunter-gatherers.

Although it’s been a really long time, our genetics haven’t changed that much since then. And yet…

The average Homo Sapien back then: muscular, agile, athletic, and incredibly versatile.

The average Homo Sapien now: overweight, out of shape, stressed out, unhappy, sleep deprived and dying from far too many preventable diseases due to lifestyle choices.

So what the hell happened?

Agriculture! And then delivery and Netflix.

A few thousand years ago, humans discovered farming, the agricultural revolution took off, and we advanced from hunter-gatherers to farmers.

We settled down, formed societies, and the human race progressed to what we are today. Which is obviously great for a number of reasons:

Not getting eaten by wild animals

Electricity

Automobiles

Nintendo

The problem is that our bodies never adjusted properly to eating all the grains and sugar that we’re now consuming.

As paleo guru Robb Wolf puts it, think of a 100-yard football field:

The first 99.5 yards are how long Homo-Sapiens spent as hunter-gatherers. As they became REALLY good at hunting and gathering our bodies adapted to that lifestyle over thousands of years.

That last half-yard represents our species after the agricultural revolution, where our diet has shifted (but our genetics haven’t).

So, instead of loading up on meat, vegetables and seasonal fruits, we’ve become a species “dependent” upon grains – bread, pasta, rice, corn, and so on.

66% of us are overweight, 33% are considered obese, and those numbers are only getting worse [1] .

Clearly something’s not right, and we need to fix it.

The Paleo Diet is an effort to go back to eating how we’re biologically designed to eat, allowing us to tap into our genetic potential and start living healthier immediately.

Will I Lose Weight on the Paleo Diet?

This is the question we get above all else:

“Will the Paleo Diet help me lose weight?”

Probably…if you can stick with it!

However, it has nothing to do with what cavepeople ate or didn’t eat.

It comes down to simple thermodynamics.

As I point out in our article on How to Determine the Perfect Diet for You, if you want to lose weight:

#1 – Eat fewer calories than you burn every day.

#2 – Want to also be healthy? Eat mostly real food.

Want to KEEP the weight off?

Add #3: Do those two things consistently for a decade.

So here’s why you’ll lose weight on the Paleo Diet:

You’re only eating meat, fish, veggies, fruits, and nuts. These are foods that are full of nutrients, will make you feel full, but don’t have nearly as many calories as junk food.

You are eliminating the most calorie dense, nutritionally deficient, unhealthy foods completely. No soda, no candy, no bread, no pasta, no sugar, no dairy.

Simply put, when you only eat real food and avoid all unhealthy food, you’re more likely than not going to run a caloric deficit – and thus lose weight.

Let me share a really obvious example.

200 calories of broccoli gets you enough to fill up an entire plate:

Or 200 calories will get you exactly 1/2 a Snickers bar:

Look at that: nobody can eat that much broccoli, and nobody only eats half a candy bar!

My point is this: by eating Paleo-approved foods, you’re more likely than not to eat fewer calories than you did in the past automatically, which can lead to weight loss.

I dig into this in even greater detail in “Why can’t I lose weight?” but it all comes down to “calories in, calories out.”

So YES, the Paleo Diet can help you lose weight.

And if you stick with the Paleo Diet, you will keep the weight off.

If you do the Paleo Diet for 30 days and then go back to how you were eating before, you’ll gain all the weight back.

what DO I get to eat on The Paleo diet?

Okay, so if we cut out the grains, almost all processed foods, and dairy, you’re left with only things that occur naturally:

Meat – GRASS-FED*, not grain-fed when possible. Grain can cause the same problem in animals as they do in humans.

Fowl – Chicken, duck, hen, turkey…things with wings that (try to) fly.

Fish – Wild fish, as mercury and other toxins can be an issue in farmed fish

Eggs – Look for omega-3 enriched cage free eggs.

Vegetables – As long as they’re not deep-fried, eat as many as you want.

Oils – Olive oil, coconut oil, avocado oil – think natural.

Fruits – Have natural sugar, and can be higher in calories, so limit if you’re trying to lose weight.

Nuts – High in calories, so they’re good for a snack, but don’t eat bags and bags of them.

Tubers – Sweet potatoes and yams. Higher in calories and carbs, so these are good for right after a workout to replenish your glycogen levels.

*If you can only afford grain-fed meat, that’s still better than grains. Do the best you can with your situation!

Steak with asparagus and sweet potato fries, grilled chicken salad, massive omelets that will fill you up for the whole morning, apples dipped in almond butter (my favorite snack ever), and so on.

Pick any of the things from that list, and eat as much as you want of them (with the noted exceptions). You’ll feel better and be healthier.

WhAT Can’t I eat On the Paleo Diet?

If you are looking to strictly follow the paleo diet, then you cannot consume grains.

Why? Because – as advocates of the diet points out – cavemen didn’t eat grains!

But on a deeper physiological level, we have a tendency to overeat grains, which are calorically dense, nutrient deficient, and they can wreak havoc on our blood sugar levels.

Which can lead to more overeating…and the process starts again.

Rather than me explain that part with thousands of words, just watch this three-minute video – “Why You Got Fat“

youtube

Let’s get into some more reasons Paleo advocates suggest avoiding grains: most contain gluten and lectins.

What are they and what’s wrong with them? I’m so glad you asked:

Gluten is a protein found in things like rye, wheat, and barley. It’s now being said that much of our population may be gluten-intolerant (hence all the new “gluten-free!” items popping up everywhere). Over time, those who are gluten intolerant can develop a dismal array of medical conditions from consuming gluten: dermatitis, joint pain, reproductive problems, acid reflux, and more.[2]

Lectins are natural toxins that exist in grains to defend against consumption! Yup. Grains have evolved to keep themselves from being eaten by us. These lectins are not a fan of our gastrointestinal tract, and they prevent the tract from repairing itself from normal wear and tear. This can cause all kinds of damage.

Long story short: our bodies don’t process grains well, and they are causing a boatload of problems.

The Paleo Diet also almost completely eliminates sugar outside of fruit. No candy. No soda. No powdered donuts. Yup, even the mini white ones from the grocery store where you can eat like 100 of them (accidentally, of course).

So we’ve eliminated grains, sugar, and processed foods.

Now, whether you’re talking about the paleo diet or not, many studies have shown that an incredible number of diseases and lifestyle issues can be reversed with these three simple changes.[3]

So I can already see the gears turning in your head.

Yes. The reason the Paleo Diet works is primarily due to the fact that you’re eliminating all of the high calorie, low energy, junk foods from your diet.

Which means you’re going to, on average, eat fewer calories than you’ve been eating in the past.

Which will lead to weight loss over time!

The reason Paleo works for some people: as I lay out in my “Which diet is best for you?” article, it comes with built-in, black-and-white, “eat this not that” rules to follow.

It removes calorie counting and practically ensures you ONLY eat food that fill you up but aren’t loaded up with calories.

But Where do I get My Energy From on the Paleo Diet?

“Steve, if we’re not eating 300+ grams of carbs every day, where are we supposed to get our energy from while eating Paleo?”

Our bodies can operate on a lower number of carbohydrates than what we’re used to eating, so fewer carbs isn’t an issue once you re-train your body to process the food you’re eating.

Sidenote: When there is a complete absence of carbs, our body can take fat or stored fat and burn THAT for energy in a process called ketogenesis.

This is the premise behind the much hyped “Keto Diet.”

However, unless you are avoiding all carbohydrates while going Paleo, you most likely won’t be in ketosis while going Paleo.

Back to Paleo: because you are NOW consuming fewer calories than you were on average, your body is in a caloric deficit.

Which means it needs to get its energy from somewhere – how about the fat stores you already have? This is the goal with weight loss.

What I’m trying to tell you is that our bodies are pretty effin’ efficient.

So, fewer carbs = less glucose in your system, which means your body will can start burning fat as your fuel source.

Which means… decreased fat storage and decreased body fat percentage and increased good-lookingness.

Win!

Do I need to Avoid Carbs on the Paleo DIet?

Nope.

Carbs still serve a purpose in our diets, but large quantities are not required for a regular diet [4].

Carbs aren’t evil – they’re just…carbs. (I actually lost 22 pounds while consuming carbs)

The challenge is that carbs tend to be calorically dense (lots of calories) without being satiating (meaning you tend to eat way more than you intended).

I try to get my carbs from vegetables, sweet potatoes, and fruit.

Why is that?

These foods are naturally occurring in the wild and don’t need to be processed in any way (unlike grains) in order to be consumed.

The other great thing about vegetables is that they’re incredibly nutrient dense and calorie light – six full servings of broccoli (and who would eat 6 servings at once?) has 180 calories and 36 grams of carbs.

A serving of pasta has 200 calories and 42 grams of carbs.

And does this look like YOUR normal portion of pasta? Or is your normal serving like 3-5x the size of this (mine is).

Now, eating paleo does not automatically mean that you are doing a ketogenic diet (no carb) or a low-carb diet.

We cover this in our article specifically comparing the two ways of eating.

However, even if you have a serving of sweet potato (26g per 1 cup serving) with every meal, it’s likely a lot lower in carbs than you’re used to having.

We do recommend keeping your carb content low – loading up on buckets of fruit is technically Paleo, but can result in a ton of carbs and calories consumed.

And thus, no weight loss. Fail.

I’ll cover that more below too, as it’s one of the pitfalls to avoid with successfully going Paleo.

If you’re worried about adherence to the diet, I understand – it’s the toughest part of Paleo – sticking with it!

Knowing what to eat is part of it, but following this fairly restrictive lifestyle in a modern environment surrounded by cookies and candy and bagels and pasta is really difficult!

Factor in the “carb flu” you might go through in the first few weeks (as your body gets weaned off of carbohydrate fuel and habits), and most people give up on the Paleo diet long before it creates lasting change!

Does this sound like you?

Worried about how to stick with this diet when you live a busy life and work long hours and also want to lose some weight but you don’t want to hate yourself? You’re not alone!

In fact, people like you are the reason we created our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program!

We work with busy people like you to structure a complete life overhaul: handcrafted workout routines, accountability, mindset changes, and nutritional strategies.

If you want guidance from a trained professional, schedule a call by clicking on the image below and see if we’re a good fit for each other!

Can I eat Dairy on the Paleo Diet?

Dairy’s a tough one, as most Paleo folks tend to stay away from it – a portion of the world is lactose intolerant, and those that aren’t usually have at least some type of an aversion to it.

Why is that? Because no other animal in the entire kingdom drinks milk beyond infancy.

Hunter-gatherers didn’t lug cows around with them while traveling – milk was consumed as a baby, and that was it. As with grains, our bodies weren’t designed for massive dairy consumption.

There is evidence that some adaptation to dairy has taken place throughout the years, specifically with people with ancestry in herding cultures, but this is not the majority of the population [5] .

So, this is one that Paleo purists will avoid like the plague, while others have found that consuming dairy in its various forms work for their genetics, goals, and lifestyle.

If you’re not sure, remove dairy from your diet and only introduce it back in when you’re ready to see how your body responds.

But I can’t give up my muffin, pasta, bagel, pizza, and bread!

Okay then, don’t try the Paleo Diet! Simple as that.

I hear you. Because bread is amazing. And so is candy. And soda. These things are designed to be as delicious as possible.

But they don’t have a place in the Paleo Diet if this is what diet you are trying to follow, so you have to decide what’s important to you right now.

If you’re happy with how you look, your energy levels are good all day, and you don’t see any room for improvement, then keep doing what you’re doing – I won’t force you to eat like this.

Consider the Mediterranean Diet which still includes portions of things like pasta or bread (note: I said PORTIONS, not platefuls)!

You can also just follow our guide on healthy eating and slowly adjust your nutrition – which would be my recommendation.

However, if you’ve been struggling with weight loss, have no energy throughout the day, need eight cups of coffee, hate counting calories, and want to start turning your life around today, why not give it a shot for 30 days?

TRY IT: If after 30 days you haven’t noticed a marked improvement in your quest for a better life, then go back to the donuts.

It’s important to give yourself a full 30 days before passing judgment. Your body has to adjust from fueling itself on carbs and sugar to burning your stored fat for energy, which can take a few weeks.

If you’re not willing to cut out grains from your diet completely, just work on MINIMIZING those foods gradually and see how your body adjusts.

Slow transitions are often much easier to handle over the long-term; the more you can shift your diet closer to Paleo principles, the faster you’ll start to see results.

In fact, we’ve actually built a 10-level diet system as part of Nerd Fitness that slowly transitions somebody into a more Paleo-type lifestyle, because we know the biggest problem with this stuff is consistency and adherence.

When you sign up in the box below, we’ll send you both the 10-level Nerd Fitness Diet cheat sheet AND the Beginner Paleo Guide so you can cut through the confusion and start fixing your health today.

Get the FREE eBook! The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Paleo!

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The one simple trick to know if your food is Paleo-friendly

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This is also the approach we champion with our 1-on-1 Online Training Program and Paleo-approved flagship online course, The Nerd Fitness Academy.

How much should I eat of each nutrient on the Paleo Diet?

Okay back to the good stuff: How much should I eat on the Paleo Diet?

Always start with a good protein source with each meal (eggs, steak, chicken, fish, pork) along with some vegetables.

That’s it.

If you feel hungry constantly, understand that changing up a diet can cause a body a few weeks of adjustment.

Consider adding some healthy fats to the equation: avocado, a handful of almonds or walnuts, almond butter, olive oil, etc.

If you’re feeling tired all the time, try adding some salt to your food.

Going from a processed, high sodium diet to a paleo diet you will very often end up eating too little sodium, which is an essential nutrient.

As stated above, fruit does have quite a bit of sugar in it, and nuts have quite a few calories, so if you are following the Paleo Diet but not losing weight, check your fruit and nut consumption and see if you are loading up on those at the expense of vegetables and healthy protein.

What I’m trying to say is this: fat and protein should make up a big percentage of your diet.

How Much Fat SHould I eat on the Paleo Diet?

Pooooooor fat.

It’s gotten a bad rap over the past number of decades, so companies have been doing everything possible to make everything low fat and “healthy!” (while adding all sorts of preservatives, chemicals, and sugar).

Yup…cut out the fat, increase the carbs….and look where THAT has gotten us.

Why has fat been vilified? Rather than get into the politics of it myself, I’ll let Gary Taubes, author of the incredibly thorough and well-researched Good Calories, Bad Calories take over.

As he discusses in article he wrote for the New York Times a decade ago [6]:

These researchers point out that there are plenty of reasons to suggest that the low-fat-is-good-health hypothesis has now effectively failed the test of time.

In particular, that we are in the midst of an obesity epidemic that started around the early 1980’s, and that this was coincident with the rise of the low-fat dogma. (Type 2 diabetes, the most common form of the disease, also rose significantly through this period.)

They say that low-fat weight-loss diets have proved in clinical trials and real life to be dismal failures, and that on top of it all, the percentage of fat in the American diet has been decreasing for two decades.

Our cholesterol levels have been declining, and we have been smoking less, and yet the incidence of heart disease has not declined as would be expected. ”That is very disconcerting,” Willett says. ”It suggests that something else bad is happening.”

Healthy fats are valuable additions to our diet. “Low fat” foods were created to follow conventional wisdom that fat made you fat (which as stated in the above article doesn’t stand up to scrutiny).

Now, when a company makes a low fat food, they remove the fat and have to replace the flavor with something.

That “something” is usually sugar.

Which can get stored as fat in our bodies. Crap.

So, fat is not the enemy. According to Taubes and Paleo folks, it has been vilified and the real focus should have been on sugar and carbs all along.

And thus in the Paleo Diet, fat makes up a large portion of one’s diet.

Do I need to eat every 3 hours on the Paleo Diet?

When you eat on the Paleo Diet doesn’t matter. Eat when you’re hungry, don’t eat when you’re not.

Going again back to our evolutionary history, we didn’t always have the luxury of going to a vending machine or drive-through window to pick up food. Sometimes we’d go all day long, or even days at a time, without finding any food.

Luckily, we’re designed to use our excess fat stores as energy in these situations.

Don’t worry about eating every three hours.

In fact, I’d recommend NOT eating all of the time, and instead focus on eating full meals!

Sometimes, it’s even okay to skip a meal or two, as long as you don’t go berserk and eat seven pizzas because you’re so hungry afterward.

Don’t worry about hitting a specific number of calories each day. If you’re not hungry, don’t eat.

This type of eating is generally referred to as Intermittent Fasting.

What are the criticisms of this diet?

The dismissive criticisms of the Paleo Diet generally fall into one of three categories:

Cavemen had short lifespans. So there.

A recent article said that cavemen ate grains. So there.

We don’t know what cavemen ate. So there.

As I said at the beginning of this article, it doesn’t matter what cavemen or cavewomen ACTUALLY ate.

The reason this diet works has nothing to do with what our bodies are designed to eat or what cavemen ate 1,000s of years ago.

The Paleo Diet CAN help you lose weight because it gets you to cut out junk food, focus on eating real food, and gives you a framework to evaluate quickly every food choice:

“Did a caveman eat this? Yes or no.”

That’s it!

By following those three rules, you’re likely to be healthier than you used to be, you’re likely to eat fewer calories than you used to, and you’re likely to start feeling better than you used to.

I personally don’t follow a Paleo Diet, but I do appreciate the fact that it’s easy to comprehend and gets people to take a more active approach in their food!

So, disregarding the fear mongering, dogma, and anthropological criticisms of what cavemen actually ate, what are the ACTUAL critiques of the Paleo Diet?

#1) “This type of diet can get expensive.”

Admittedly, while I recommend eating organic fruits and veggies, free-range chicken, and grass-fed beef whenever possible, these products can be more expensive in conventional stores due to the processes needed to get them there.

However, farmers’ markets often have well-priced meats, eggs, fruits, and vegetables that are locally grown and incredibly healthy.

Even if you’re spending a little more money than before, when you factor in your overall health, spending a few extra bucks on healthier food now is a wiser investment than thousands later on costly medical expenses.

Also, if you’re really short on cash, eating the non-organic or grain-fed version of a meat, vegetable, or eggs is still better than eating breads, pasta, fast food, and the like.

Most people simply compare the cost of a paleo meal with ramen noodles or pasta and bread and determine Paleo is prohibitively expensive.

Sure, it’s more expensive than those foods, but if you are smart with your money you can eat a much healthier meal and do so pretty inexpensively.

(This doesn’t even factor in the whole “if you eat cheap unhealthy food now, you’ll pay thousands in medical bills and hospital visits and medications later” argument which is valid too).

#2) “It’s difficult to eat Paleo in today’s society!”

A normal breakfast in the US consists of bagels, muffins, toast, cereal, or donuts.

NONE of those things have any nutritional value, they’re loaded with tons of carbs and calories, and are composed of processed grains that can jack up your stomach.

Eating out at restaurants can get tough too, and “paleo-approved” is not something you’ll usually find on a menu.

Eating in this manner requires careful planning and tons of willpower, but it can be done if you’re dedicated.

#3) “But cavemen had short lifespans! Of course they don’t have the diseases we do. We live way longer now.”

I agree with you here, but only because you don’t have to deal with the dangers of living back then. Again we don’t really care to live like cavepeople!

This is SIMPLY a construct that can help many make more informed food choices.

#4) “But what about the books and people that say “we’re not designed to eat grains” is garbage – plenty of societies around the world consume grains and aren’t fat and unhealthy like us.”

The China Study is frequently cited when criticizing the Paleo Diet – focusing on a vegetarian diet and consuming rice is healthier than the Paleo Diet. I respectfully disagree with the conclusions drawn from that book but that’s awesome if you want to go plant-based! [7], and will leave you to make your own conclusions based on your own self-experimentation.

You’re here to learn about the Paleo Diet though, so let’s keep the focus there

#5 “But this is just a meat diet, and eating all meat is bad!”

First of all, consider your sources and do your research before jumping to the conclusions.

Next, this is not an all meat diet or uber-low carb diet like Keto or Atkins. The biggest component of the Paleo Diet?

Vegetables!

Every meal in a true Paleo diet has a moderate amount of healthy (properly raised chicken, grass-fed beef, hormone free, etc.) meat combined with nutritious veggies or a moderate amount of fruit.

#6 “The Paleo Diet is too restrictive and I can’t live like this.”

This is the most valid criticism I personally have of the diet, as the best diet plan is the one you actually stick with and follow through on! The goal shouldn’t be to go “full paleo” for a few weeks only to go back to how you were eating before.

Instead, the goal here should be to rethink your relationship with food and develop a strategy that you can live with permanently.

There’s nothing worse than going on diets and gaining and losing the same 20 pounds over and over. The Paleo Diet, like other diets, WORKS ONLY IF YOU STICK WITH IT PERMANENTLY!

This makes sense after all: make temporary changes, get temporary results, right?

#7 “Steve, I hate vegetables, HALP.”

I got you. Heres how to start liking vegetables.

We know this all too well, and we have helped thousands of people slowwwwly transition their diet over a long period of time to make change less scary, more permanent, and thus make the weight loss permanent too!

If you’re overwhelmed or scared of changing too much, or maybe you’re just sick of dieting and want to find a solution that works for your busy lifestyle and situation, schedule a call with us to learn more about our 1-on-1 coaching program:

Meh, I’m still not convinced About the Paleo Diet.

That’s cool. You do you!

The human body is so incredibly complex that I doubt we’ll ever have a definitive answer on the best possible diet. This one might sound like a fad to you, or it’s too restrictive, complicated, etc.

If you’ve read this far, I assume you’re considering giving it a shot.

Take 30 days and try the Paleo Diet – cut out the grains and dairy, start eating more vegetables and fruits, eat more humanely raised and non-grain fed meat, cut out the liquid calories and sugar, and see how you feel after the month is up.

If you’re analytical and want numbers to use in your final verdict, get your blood work done at the beginning and end of the month.

Take a picture of yourself now, and then another 30 days from now. I bet you’ll be surprised with how your body transforms.

I hope that AFTER those 30 days you’ll have adopted some of the principles, noted how much better you feel, and continue to live with an improved relationship with food.

What does Steve think about the diet?

I’m a fan of the Paleo Diet because it makes logical sense to me.

I know we existed as a species 150,000 years ago, I know the agricultural revolution didn’t happen until 10,000 years ago, which means we had 140,000 years without grains.

In that time we learned to thrive as a species without grains (or else we wouldn’t be here).

The other reason I’m a fan is because it provides simple – though strict rules to follow. I love mental models that help us make sense of the world, and I think for SOME people, the Paleo Diet will really help them cut down on overeating.

I personally do NOT do a Paleo Diet, but I do have rules that I follow.

Do whatever makes you happy and fits in your schedule. I like this kind of stress-free eating.

Regardless of whether or not grains should be vilified, I love this diet because I know it WORKS. I know people that have lost incredible amounts of weight and changed their lives within a matter of months.

People like Staci:

Regardless of how you feel about grains, we can all agree that eating more natural foods and less processed foods is better for you.

MY BIG FINAL POINT: Temporary changes create temporary results. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you need to make permanent adjustments to your nutrition.

If you don’t see yourself being able to permanently follow a Paleo Diet, I would advise a more ‘wade in from the shallow end‘ approach to dietary change!

Where can I get even more info about the Paleo Diet?

Here’s our full list of Nerd Fitness Paleo/Healthy recipes, and here are my three favorites:

10 Minutes of Prep, 10 Easy Meals

Paleo spaghetti: freaking delicious, I promise

How to Make Mini Paleo Pizzas.

I’ve also compiled a list of my favorite sites and recipe books around the internet that can help you get started:

#1) Nom Nom Paleo – Michelle Tam and her husband Henry are amazing people, and their Paleo Blog is absolutely phenomenal. Great photos. Well written. Organized intelligently.

Their “Nom Nom Paleo” cookbook is a fun resource too, and a great place to get started with cooking for your Paleo lifestyle. Oh what’s that? You have kids and a spouse and you’re all trying to eat healthier too? This book is perfect for that as well!

#2) Mark’s Daily Apple – Easily the most comprehensive resource on the Internet for the Paleo Diet – Mark writes an article every weekday about everything Paleo, and it usually blows me away. Some of the posts can get overwhelming, so I suggest starting with his Primal Blueprint 101.

The Primal Blueprint – If you want to read about this stuff in a book rather than on a computer screen, Mark’s book The Primal Blueprint is a great place to get started on not only what to eat, but why you should be eating it.

It’s educational, funny, real-world applicable, and teaches you how to primalize (just made that up) the rest of your life too.

#3) Robb Wolf – Another great resource, and a guy I’ve already referenced in this article multiple times. Check out his site for a comprehensive FAQ on all things Paleo, a shopping list pdf (right-click and save), and plenty of humor.

The Paleo Solution – This article would have been finished 3 hours earlier, but before I wrote it, I read ALL of Robb’s new book. It seriously had me laughing out loud at certain points – not bad for a book on diet!

This book is a little less forgiving than Mark’s book above, but it’s still a great read.

#4) Loren Cordain – Loren is considered the leading expert on the Paleo Diet – Robb is actually one of his students/disciples/padawans.

Dr. Cordain is probably the foremost authority on this type of eating, which is why I really enjoyed reading both of his books.

MORE RECIPE RESOURCES:

Ready or Not! 150 Make Now Recipes – The newer book from Michelle Tam of Nom Nom Paleo. It’s super fun. Plus she’s wearing a Nerd FItness t-shirt in some of her photos in the book, so I might be sliiiightly biased 🙂

Mark’s Daily Apple – Although he sells the cookbook on Amazon, Mark also lists over 100 free primal recipes on his site. Pick something on the list, go buy the ingredients, and follow the instructions! So easy even a caveman can do it.

Everyday Paleo – Great pictures, easy to follow recipes, and pretty interesting combinations. Click on FOOD in the Nav bar, and the meals are broken down into breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

If you’re curious about The Paleo Diet’s recent popularity and thus it’s criticisms, we’ve written two other pieces on Nerd Fitness that might be of interest:

“The Paleo Diet Debunked??” where I address a few of the more recent criticisms that have popped up.

“In Defense of a Paleo-Ish Diet” where I cover how to live a mostly Paleo lifestyle but still enjoy the modern benefits of society.

Easing Into The Paleo Diet

Maybe you’re ready to try out this Paleo lifestyle, but you can’t commit fully. There are certain foods you refuse to give up, or you can’t afford to buy grass-fed beef at the moment.

That’s okay!

If you can even make a few small changes here and there (cut out liquid calories, switch out your rice for steamed vegetables, cut back on bread, etc.) you’ll start to see some changes.

Remember, 20% healthier is better than 0% healthier – as you get more comfortable with the changes you can increase that percentage.

You can also follow our favorite strategy. After all, I know how tough it is to stay loyal to a strict diet, especially without a plan to follow. It’s why we created free resources that can help you reach your goals faster without you also going crazy.

Get rid of the temptation: if you’re gonna go at this thing with a full head of steam, remove all the junk food from your house.

It’s going to take a few weeks for your body to adjust to burning fat instead of glucose, and you might want to eat poorly here and there. If there’s no food in your house to tempt you, it will be much easier to stay on target.

Now, it’s your turn.

Have you tried the Paleo Diet yet?

What was your experience like?

Have a criticism of the diet that I didn’t cover before?

Do you have favorite paleo resource?

Remember, one of the major Rules of the Rebellion is to question everything!

I hope this article gives you some food for thought (terrible pun, I know), and gives you the permission to question conventional wisdom and start addressing the issues in your diet!

In addition to this Beginner Paleo Guide, I hope you consider checking our our 1-on-1 Coaching Program as well.

We have designed this program from the ground up to help people like you change their lives and fix their nutrition in a way that doesn’t suck.

Now, go forth. And eat like a caveman.

-Steve

PS: I’ll leave you with one final mention of the Nerd Fitness Academy – it essentially gamifies your experience in transitioning into a Paleo lifestyle and diet, and provides you with specific instruction, meal plans, workouts, and a supportive community.

###

photo sources: cavemen elephant hunt, caveman cooking over fire, cavemen hunt paleo bear, milk truck logo, darth vader vendor, storm trooper tomato, lego cook, chef and lego pig, lego explorer, lego muffin, lego bread and carbs, frozen caveman grok lego, lego clock, lego caveman forging for food, caveman with wheel, darth vader and ostrich lego, easing into water lego, lego man with pasta

Footnotes ( returns to text)

Adult Obesity Prevalence Map CDC.gov

You can read our full guide on Gluten

Take a look at this time magazine article on cancer patients who switched to a zero-sugar diet and saw positive results.

check out the Inuit Paradox for a great read on societies that exist without almost any carbohydrates

If you want to nerd out about this stuff, go wild with this study

What if its all Been a Big Fat Lie?

This is the most well-researched critique I’ve found of the China Study: Denise Menger – China Study – Fact or Fallacy

Paleo Diet Beginner Guide: 7 Things You Should Know Before Eating Like a Caveman! published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

0 notes

meditationsinausterity · 6 years

Text

A Little Goes A Long Way: donated green tomatoes and a cheeky bit of chicken.

So initially I'd envisaged these zero-waste food posts as neat little triptychs of three meals that succinctly used up primarily one product, as that's how it's worked before. But leftovers and cooking with them is never that neat and tidy, especially if you're only really using enough for one person every time, as things get carried over to different days of the week to avoid repetition, and you tend to be working with different combinations of the same ingredients a lot of the time, as most things aren't readily available in the small portions necessary for those of us extending our early twenties living situations indefinitely (and we are legion, just as a heads up).

This juggling the same combinations of ingredients is increasingly the case of what is now becoming a typical cooking week for me, in which I bring home surplus produce from the trash cafe, often in larger amounts than i would need for one meal, and have to think of creative ways to use it. I'm not sure I actually purchased a single ingredient for this particular set of meals, because I didn't need to, most of it coming from my volunteering stints. As I'm employed now, I'm sure purchases will start to pop up here and there in the form of storecupboard ingredients and so on, but actually, I'm rather enjoying the challenge of my ingredients choosing me rather than vice versa, and it feels pretty good to be feeding myself on food that would otherwise have been going to waste (probably landfill as well, which it doesn't bear thinking about).

Meal 1: Cumin-fried Green tomatoes and cream cheese on toast.

Purchased for this meal:

Nothing

Items I already had:

Green tomatoes: Donated to me by my lovely friend Lou, after a fry up and a catch up about work, art, the universe and everything. She'd bought the plants from her son's school and had a glut, so it was really sweet of her to share them with me.

Cream cheese: Surplus from cooking pasta at the trash cafe

Bread: last few bits from a loaf kicking about in the freezer

Gram Flour: the bedfellow is having a major Push Toward Adulthood as well at the moment, and it's manifesting itself in him clearing out the kitchen cupboards at his. He had loads of bag ends of flour that he wanted rid of and I shotgunned them rather than letting them get chucked out.

Cumin, ghost pepper garlic salt.

Pretty straightforward this one. I actually really love fried green tomatoes, I can still remember the first time I ate them, in bed with the American head waiter from the bar across the road from mine, still pretty buzzed from the night before, idly talking about theatre and drinking coffee. I usually dust mine in cornmeal, but I didn't have any, so I went down more of a pakora route with cumin and gram flour, and just shallow fried them in batches until crispy, before turning them out onto kitchen roll and absolutely dusting them with chilli salt. Then you just pile them onto toast spread with cream cheese and dig in.

I can't really recommend this enough; it's basically like a socially acceptable version of jalapeno poppers, which are the deep fried, ruthlessly chavvy, junk food of the gods. I would eat an order of them right now, or any time in fact, stone cold sober, i don't even care. It was a most excellent breakfast, to the point where I was actually tempted by a repeat the next day.

Leftovers from this meal:

None

Meal two: Salami and Mushroom scrambled eggs on toast with green tomato 'salsa'

Purchased for this meal:

Nothing

Items I already had:

Green tomatoes: half a bag left from Lou's donation

Rye bread: from the trash cafe

Salami with black truffle: We had diced this in the kitchen in preparation for a spicy tomato pasta, but then we got delivered a load of defrosted chicken from a famously 'cheeky' peri peri franchise, so a change of plan resulted in me bringing what we'd already diced home.

Eggs: we got delivered loads of eggs mid-service at the trash cafe so had no time to put them out that day because we have to check the dates and for breakages. I made scrambled eggs on toast for another volunteer's little boy, because he was poorly, so I put the rest of the box with the things I was gonna take home.

Mushrooms: had half a pack left after making lemongrass and coconut chicken at the trash cafe, so true to my 'open it, use the whole thing' policy they came home with me

Parsley: half a bag left from use in the kitchen at the trash cafe. Onion (left over from my last food shop which was aeons ago now) Lime juice (bottled, blech, but needed using),

Ghost pepper garlic salt.

I am not going to insult you by telling you how to fry things off and scramble them with eggs. And if I ever have to explain to somebody how to toast bread then I've gone wrong somewhere in life, or had children; neither of which are scenarios I'm holding out for.

I will have a word about my salsa though; obviously my default salsa recipe is diced onion, chopped tomato, lime, salt, and coriander. I had fresh parsley, and honestly, while it may not be 'authentic', and may be a slightly different flavour profile, I'm a 'love the one you're with' girl in the kitchen. I don't need my food to be by the book, I need it to be tasty. And this so-called-salsa managed that just fine. It was spicy as fuck as well, which is how I like pretty much everything. This was a definite breakfast of champions, and made me glad I didn't just lazily repeat the previous day's efforts, tempting though it was.

Leftovers from this meal:

Half a jar of salsa: fridged and kept to use on something else (with the hope of it becoming more spicy as the flavours melded).

Meal three: Chicken noodle soup

Items purchased for this meal:

None

Items already had for this meal:

1/2 precooked chicken, bone in: A leftover from cooking at the trash cafe, I shredded and stir fried 2 half-chickens, and ended up bringing home one half-chicken on the bone and some leftover shredded meat, because it had already been frozen and defrosted, therefore and needed using up. onions, carrots, garlic

Parsley: leftover from use in the kitchen at the trash cafe

Tub of mixed, chopped, stir fry vegetables: From the kitchen of the trash cafe, We had several packs of these that needed to be used on that Wednesday or they would have to be chucked. I think I got through about eight packs and took two home with me,but there were still, sadly, loads left. If I had more freezer space I'd have bought more home, but there's no sense in me taking what I can't use.

Birdseye chillies: leftover from a packet opened in the kitchen at trash cafe.

Noodles: I always have noodles. Still on those Aldi straight to wok badboys.

Soy: requisitioned from my mother's cupboard on my last visit cos she had two bottles.

So my shift at the trash cafe on this week involved the surprise curveball of several alarmingly big-titted (I speak from envy) half-chickens, pre-cooked, and frozen, from a well known peri peri chain. I merrily defrosted and shredded them and served them stir fried in a chilli coconut lemongrass sauce with insane amounts of stir fry veg. Sadly, during service, I didn't get through as much of the chicken as I would have liked, so I ended up bringing home half a bird on the bone, and probably about half a bird's worth of shredded meat. If I'd have been really thinking, I'd have saved the bones from the birds I shredded during service, because I knew I was going to make stock with what I bought home; in true zero waste style. But I wasn't thinking, in true Kirsty Mitchell style.

So first thing in the morning I diced onion and carrot, smashed a few garlic cloves, and lopped the stalks off the parsley, gently frying it without colouring on a low heat. I stripped the white meat off the half chicken, not too intensely, as I wanted the dark meat to help flavour the stock. I lobbed in the bones and topped the pan up with water, then once bought to the boil I left it to simmer away for the whole morning, skimming off any scum and occasionally topping up with water so that the bones were covered, before straining.

The actual assembly of the soup took literally minutes. I fried off a sliced chilli with as much stir fry veg as I could fit in a pan with a block of noodles, before topping up with the stock, chucking in a handful of shredded chicken meat, and letting boil until the noodles were just done. chucked it in a bowl, topped it with a splish of soy and loosely chopped parsley and that was literally it.

Is it beginning to be obvious how into noodle soup i actually am? I honestly eat enough of it in different guises to really notice how much BETTER it is with homemade stock. I was so impressed with the quality of the stock i managed to get out of these pre-cooked chain restaurant chickens. As I mentioned, they were incredibly top heavy birds, and often you find birds bred for their meat aren't much in the bone department, but actually this was one of the better chicken stocks I've made in a long time. I know that a lot of what I cook isn't very complicated, at least I don't think I'm using any skills that could be considered above and beyond the average home cook, but it's the taking the time to make every last ingredient count, as in the case of making stock, that I find really makes the difference between an alright meal and a deeply satisfying one. This was a perfect example of that.

Leftovers from this meal:

2x portions of stock: I will own up to the fact I liked this so much I had it three times over the course of the week. Good job and all because I had a glut of stir fry vegetables and shredded chicken meat to use, but it definitely undermines my 'I don't like to eat the same thing all the time' protests. I guess there should be a noodle soup get out clause on that, cos I really do eat it all the fucking time, and it doesn't irritate me one little bit. I think it's because I can be quite remiss at eating carbs as I don't like the soporific effect of them, but in a soup they tend to slip into my system unnoticed.

Meal Four: Herbed chicken and Green Tomato open sandwiches

Purchased for this meal:

Nothing

Items I already had:

Rye bread (from the trash cafe)

Shredded pre-cooked chicken (from the trash cafe)

Creme fraiche (From the trash cafe)

Parsley (from the trash cafe)

Green tomato salsa (leftover from previous cook)

Black pepper (storecupboard)

So this was a really simple, not-really-cooking-whatsoever thrown together number that I whipped up after I'd got home from my interview and accepted the job offer. I was absolutely starving, and the pressure I've been under had lifted, so my body seemed to finally let me feel tired, all at once, meaning i was also absolutely aching for a nap.

I had the tomato salsa leftover from my scrambled eggs the other morning, but also a whole world of chicken, so I decided to be lazy and make sandwiches. I try, as previously mentioned, not to overcarb, so I went the open route to minimize that, toasting the rye bread as it was frozen due to being a trash cafe, due-to-expire rescue. all I really did was toss a load of the chicken in creme fraiche, black pepper, and shredded parsley, mainly to combat any dryness that might be going on because the chicken had been pre-shredded and fridged.

I just piled it on the toast, whacked the salsa on top, and ate it curled up in bed with my book before nodding off to sleep. By no means complicated, but it doesn't always have to be, does it? Delicious nonetheless, especially since the salsa had been allowed to sit and get spicier in the fridge.

Leftovers from this meal:

None.

Meal Five: Spaghetti with Salami, chilli, and Tomato

Items purchased for this meal:

Nothing

Items I already had:

Diced Salami with black truffle (i by no means used all I had at breakfast the other day)

Cherry tomatoes (A handful not used in the salads at the trash cafe kitchen)

Parsley (the last handful from my trash cafe kitchen leftovers)

Oregano (trash cafe leftovers)

Spaghetti

Birds eye chilli (from my neverending stash from the trash cafe kitchen leftovers)

Onions, garlic. Black pepper

An exercise, pretty much, in clearing the fridge before another shift at the trash cafe, combined with a need for some quick fuel for a writing burst on a day off.

Really simple, as most of my pasta dishes tend to be. I put the spaghetti on to boil, and sliced some garlic and onion, which I softened in some oil without colouring. I threw in the salami, sliced chilli and oregano leaves, and turned up the heat to let the meat give up it's oil in the pan and crisp. at the last minute i put the cherry tomatoes, untouched as they were so small, into the pan, and lightly crushed them as they softened to let them give up their juice to the mix.

When the pasta was done, all I did was toss it through the mix with a few spoonfuls of the pan water, until thoroughly coated, before adding black pepper liberally and chucking some shredded parsley over the top.

So spicy, and satisfying, eaten while typing furiously and, therefore; shamefully, not necessarily given the attention food should deserve. Modern life is rubbish, and so on. At least in my hasty multitasking I'm eating something satisfying and homemade, I suppose. My days off these days seem to be either stuck in a whirlwind of inspiration at keyboard, or furiously swearing at tumblr's html formatting - it's odd how quickly i've gone from oceans of time to write, to having to force it into my schedule around shifts, and I need to make sure I don't slip into bad habits of procrastinating around the house. A quick, twenty minute burst of cooking like this, followed by a kitchen clean, is a good way to take a breather before going back to re-edit, without getting myself lost in a meditative kitchen session. Don't get me wrong, those are handy sometimes, but the best way to be a writer is to write, and if I'm constantly at stove, that's not happening, is it?

Anyway this was another dish that felt more than the sum of its hastily thrown together parts; it's great when things that really need to be used up come together in a way that doesn't feel like deprivation, no?

Leftovers from this meal:

None. I was obviously on another cold-snap carb rampage.

Another week of not feeling in any way hard done by in my quest to use up every last bit of food that comes into the house. Amazingly, purchase-free, as well. I'm pretty sure the only edible I bought this week was a jar of instant coffee, because, well, remember that episode of the simpsons where Barney gives up alcohol and becomes a tweaked out caffeine addict? That's basically what's happening at Mitchell towers. And don't say shit, yeah? until caffeine ruins my emotional health the way alchohol did, I'll be using it as a crutch. Especially since nicotine is rapidly becoming less and less of a viable option. The fact that adulthood seems to mean slowly relinquishing things I love makes me revise my previous pride to have made it through the 27 club.

I think with my next one of these posts, what I might do is begin with a run-down of what I bought back with me from the trash cafe, and take it from there. Just because then I'll avoid repeating myself too much, and it will also, I feel, be more coherent in the reading. When you have a fridge literally teeming with things begging to be used up, you have to get somewhat creative in the order you use them in, so I feel like this week's meals skipped around a little bit, since I was trying to mix it up so I didn't get bored of the same thing day after day, not to mention trying to get various different food groups included in my diet. i feel like starting with a 'master list' of sorts will help everything make more sense.

Still, I'm pleased with how this is shaping up and evolving; it's giving you a far more accurate and coherent picture of how I cook and eat day to day in order to avoid wasting anything; and I'm also looking forward to seeing how patterns emerge as I get more time-poor due to full time work. I'm gonna have to get more savvy on prep and re-use of leftovers in order to feed myself at, and after work, which I feel might make my writing more relatable to more people, who don't have all day to potter. It's all welland good being unemployed and having all the time in the world to let things sit on the stove while you get on with things around the house, but with only two days off a week to fit in all that and the other things that keep an adult life ticking over like laundry, volunteering, and let's face it, in my case, getting laid, I'll be interested to see what directions my cooking develops in.

#meditations in austerity #personal blog #food #cooking #using leftovers #zero waste #a little goes a long way #love food hate waste #chicken #noodles #green tomatoes