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ktheist · 4 years

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story time: wartime child

warning: spoilers ahead.

this is where i rant, cry and scream about my fics. not all fics have a story time though! the ones that do just kind of have a special place in my heart ♥️

ok. where to start?

i think the how i get inspiration for wartime child should be a good start.

i don’t really remember though. all i know was i read @softlyjiminie’s to hold a dragon’s heart. the part where she highlights the forest made a big impact on me - esp being someone who needs to imagine the scenes as i read, i was easily transported into that fic’s world. (and of course fraener was influenced by taehyung’s shapeshifter character!)

so i wanted to write another universe. the idea of races being at war was already there since who knows how long and i already wrote an excerpt of it months ago - before i even thought of the main character being jungkook or the involvement of a certain magical baby. but the concept was much darker and made it hard to me to continue writing. initially, the oc was supposed to be queen of the underworld who got tired of hiding and decided to rule the humans. then war breaks out - that’s as far as i got.

but felt like i needed to do extra research about races and their abilities. and of course ya girl was too lazy to research so i scraped the dark themes of war - not that the current wartime child is light but it’s lighter than i originally had in mind. couldn’t have been all fluff since someone actually died lmao

so i got started again on the idea after reading THADH. it just started coming to me yk - who’ll it be about? jk because he’s easiest to write. is there a twist? a magical baby! and ideas kept pouring from there on.

and i’m so glad i took my time with the fic - didn’t rush it, slept on some scenes and woke up with a better version or addition. i suppose it wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for quarantine and that gave all the time in the world.

but i hope everyone stays safe and that this pandemic ends soon. there are people out there who can’t afford to miss their jobs and have bills to pay. i hope the government does its job and help the people and let go of whatever political, financial interest they have. and to my readers specifically, i hope they’re holding on and staying safe and healthy.

ii.

i think i’m particularly proud of myself for holding back mary sue-ing the oc. i’m so glad i made her human and stuck with that until the end.

her character is a personal landmark for me - she’s the first character i wrote that isn’t emotionally detached in order to make an oc look “strong”. in a way, that kind of thinking (being emotionally distant to be a strong person) is toxic.

i don’t know if it is for others but i can only speak from my experience. i’d been that girl that thought crying was a part of being weak and not showing emotions means you’re strong - i was wrong sue me lmao

but yeah, i have a soft spot for the oc because she’s finally the “evolved” version of my mindset.

i think more often than not, we tend to associate the words “strong women” with physical strength or having a sort of control over people. while it is part of strength, it’s not the only definition of a strong woman. i’ve always held onto to the concept that the root of empowerment isn’t breaking the stereotype but it’s being able to choose to do whatever the fuck you want - stereotype or not. you want to go to work, have a successful career life? go for it. you want to get married, stay at home and take care of your kids? yas queen. you wanna find your own path and skip college? inspiring.

so to me, the oc was strong in her own way. she had decided to keep her kid and live for the two of them - ofc it was dumb of her not to ask for monetary aid from the baby daddy but her pride is part of her flaw and i love it. she was prideful in the beginning and didn’t want to depend on anyone. but what’s empowering for me is she took a brave step to reach out for jk for the best of her child’s interest. and when she found out he wasn’t coming back after jumping into the portal head first, she stayed strong for jun and raised him by herself - ofc she had help from taehyung and taeyeon but friends can only help so much. at the end of the day it’s just her and her kid. it’s just - her choice to be the mother to her kid is so powerful to me.

but i guess i mary sue-d jun a bit. but then again, you don’t always get a magical genius kid and struggle to raise em because they’re not how you raise normal kids lmao

iii.

god i hate kids.

but there are some that are sweet and pure and we just don’t deserve them yk? those are the kids i absolutely am soft for. and whew the baby fever - i saw too many baby videos on my timeline on twitter so you get jun!

i don’t want kids mainly bc they’re assholes but i’m horrified if i had one, i end up raising them as an asshole.

that’s when jun was born - the manifestation of the kid i never had and how i’d raise him. but irl isn’t that easy, you might slip up and end up raising a mini you-asshole. and ik for a fact that a neutral evil (me) is somewhat an asshole.

at first, i thought of just giving him a minor role here and there but i’m a winger and don’t outline my fics so he ends up probably with more screen time than jungkook.

call it fanfiction but koo’s baby edition lmao

iv.

the real mvp?

definitely the manga/manhwa(s) i read prior to writing wartime child. they’re another form of universe that sucked me in completely.

i have them to thank because i think my narration got way smoother. i used to struggle with that - i couldn’t convey my character’s emotions properly to the readers and i think that’s what makes a big difference in whether a fic becomes liked more or less.

but then again, the likes may very well depend on tumblr’s algorithm. so at the end of the day, i think got lucky with the amount of notes.

none the less, the support i got was beyond my imagination. mainly because it was all fluff and angst and lacked sexual content.

not that i’m saying a fic needs to have smut in order to attract more readers but i think we should acknowledge that the ones with sexual content gets better audience and that’s amazing too. shout out to all the writers who are able to write amazing sex scenes - that shit ain’t easy 🙌

i wish i could thank every single one of my readers for reading and the potential ones who probably liked or reblogged as a “to-read-list”. and i don’t know if my sincerity reaches the ones i manage to thank. i’m not good with words and i want each respond to a feedback to be different and meaningful but i don’t know if i managed to do that. but i’m truly grateful for those who reblogged with a comment, it made my whole week.

and i remember kirbykook’s ask - i’m guilty for keeping it in my inbox for longer than i should. they’d asked about the future of the fic and what would happen after jun’s little sibling is born. it gave me a reason to revisit wartime child’s world and realize how much i enjoy writing that fic ♥️

so that’s all for story time! thank you for reading 💓

#bts scenarios #bts #jungkook #fic: wartime child #jungkook scenarios #bts scenario #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #bts fic

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sofreddie · 6 years

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Reflections

As most of you know, I have had a whirlwind of a 2017. Here, towards the end of the year, all of that swims in my brain. I feel a calm as I think over everything, and just wanted to thank a few people who have made my 2017 bearable. (A few tears may have been shed in writing this). Personal below the cut.

June is really where it all began, the uprooting and turmoil of my life in 2017. I was near rock bottom, living in a motel, separated from my family. Other than work, all I had day in and day out was the stories I read on Tumblr. Stories from great blogs such as @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog, @impala-dreamer, @angelkurenai, @oneshoeshort, @sis-tafics. Their writing helped me escape my own reality, made me happy for a time as I lost myself in their stories. I had been writing on my own on the side, so afraid to post anything. Fear of judgement, fear of not being good enough.

Then I started talking to Liz, @oneshoeshort. Not only did she encourage me to write and post, but she was there, letting me vent about my life and giving me much needed insight. She was an outsider to the whole thing, barely knew me. But she gave me honest thoughts and advice. If it wasn’t for her, I probably never would have got the courage to post anything. Probably would have given up writing. Probably would have rotted away in that motel.

By the end of June, I was back with my husband and son. But things were different. Everyone had changed and nothing seemed familiar. Stress was building and building, things were falling apart. But I still had Tumblr. I could still escape in reading and I was writing more, building that courage to post my stories which were starting to reflect my life and turmoil.

Then August came. By August, I still talked to @oneshoeshort. But I had also become close with @reigningqueenofwords, @sis-tafics (still can’t believe Jill talked to me and even liked me), and @winsister91. These women...can I just say how wonderful they are? When I thought I couldn’t go on, when I felt life was too heavy and everything was crashing down around me...they were there. They listened to me go on and on about my shit situation. Day in and day out. They talked to me, made me feel better, made me feel whole and like life was worthwhile again. Every moment of everyday, they were there, piecing me back together, giving me the strength I needed to move forward. And Jill, JILL!...did you know when I had a brutal physical altercation, this woman picked up the phone while at work in the middle of the night, just to help me calm down and get through? My family wasn’t there, my IRL friends weren’t there...Jill was there, at the drop of a hat, when I needed someone so desperately, just to hear me and calm me down.

On top of that, there were others who talked to me, sent me funds, helped me work through writer’s block, etc. In addition to the before mentioned persons, there was @lonelyangelstardis who would RP with me and take me out of my element. She would send me encouraging messages in an ask everyday, check in to make sure I was doing ok. @jensensjaredsandmishaslover who talked with me about my stories and how to make them better. @mandilion76 This woman! She doesn’t know me from Adam, but she financially helped me a great deal. I wouldn’t have been able to get my new rental if it wasn’t for her. I would be homeless wondering what the hell I was gonna do. And then she continues to check in to see that I’m ok. She is a lifesaver.

And on top of all of that, I have @winsister91. Sammy has become my best friend. Damn near a soulmate to me. I love her more than words can express. It’s cruel that we’re separated by an ocean. But that never stopped her. Day in and day out she listened to me bitch and moan and complain about my life. She listened to the good and bad. She helped me with my writing and ideas. Hell, she’ll call me on Skype, even when it’s 2am her time, just to put me in a good mood and make sure I don’t go to bed depressed. Above and beyond doesn’t begin to cover what this woman means to me.

I would not be here today if it weren’t for these people. For their love, their ears, their support, their encouragement. I still fight, everyday. It’s getting better. But I’m still living in this Hell that was created for me. My writing reflects the emotional rollercoaster I have endured and these select few people know the stories behind the stories. They see what I write and know what brought that forth. They understand where the pain and everything else comes from. I can’t say it enough, I WOULD NOT BE HERE IF IT WASN’T FOR THESE PEOPLE AND SO MANY MORE, FOR MY SPN AND TUMBLR FAMILY!

I’ll keep fighting and writing, I’ll keep pursuing my dreams and ambitions, because of all of the strength and love you all have poured into me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you all more than I can ever express.

#sofreddie #personal #not spn #spn family #tumblr family #i'm an emotional mess right now #forgive me #i'm filled with so many emotions #i just love you all so much

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gracemolteniisnothome · 4 years

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A Year of Quiet, aka Lessons in Isolation

First and foremost, I want to emphasis staying informed, and taking your health and the health of others seriously. Period.

I have the luxury of working in the news (which, admittedly, can get exhausting), and a science reporter as my sibling, who has been on the coronavirus beat for over 2 months. I trust her and her concerns. I am also lucky to have a handful of friends who work on infectious disease research and response for the CDC—I trust them and their concerns. That access to information doesn’t raise my anxiety so much as make me feel informed and prepared. However, I fully recognize how dire and scary this all feels. Frankly, it feels that way because the reach and reality of this pandemic is indeed scary.

My office moved quickly last week to setting us up to work from home, and for that I am deeply grateful. I spent most of the weekend indoors, save a few runs and some fresh air, and a quick stop at my local cafe for coffee-to go (support your neighbors and tip well, y’all.) As Americans, it’s been a while since social solidarity was asked, let alone required of us. I can’t remember a moment in my lifetime that felt as dire in regards to personal responsibility.But, we can find a new normal in balancing being isolated and practicing social distancing, while also staying sane and staving off the stir crazy. I think it is possible to be diligent about self-isolating, and vigilant in our social distancing, and still find ways to connect, to support, to find joy, even if that means remotely.

Strangely, I feel more prepared for self-isolation than I ever have in my life, and I realized this weekend that my year of quiet in rural Japan taught me a lot about how to manage limited social contact and a uniquely singular life. I figured there’s no time like a pandemic to share a few things that kept me sane:

Remember that internet is the friend of the curious and the enemy of the anxious.

What a time to be alive! There is more access to real time information than ever before. This is gift, and at times, a trap. Know when to unplug, and definitely know when to stop checking Twitter. Delete some apps off of your phone (Instagram, Facebook, Hinge, etc) for the weekend and enjoy reclaiming some of your mental space. (Plus coronavirus-inspired pick-up lines are eye-roll worthy at best.) When I would find myself deep into Instagram scrolls with no end in sight, that was usually time to delete the app for a week or so to break the habit.

Set your expectations.

Consider this a marathon, and not a sprint, and adjust your mindset accordingly. We should be thinking of this in months, not weeks. It’s helpful to consider this in the long haul and not just a temporary inconvenience.

Go for walks, long ones when time allows, particularly if you can avoid crowded areas.

I usually ended my day with a sunset walk through the rice fields near my apartment and it was a regular time to reset and get some fresh air that now I often miss. I certainly take for granted how nice a short stint in the sun can be. Don’t forget to look up at the sky or take some picture of flowers if it pleases you. Send them to friends who are self-isolating in colder climates (looking at you, Chicago.)

Create some structure

Outside of being able to live abroad, my teaching schedule allowed me to reclaim many of my daylight hours (something I had little of in my previous job.) I don’t consider myself a particularly disciplined person, but I wanted to make the most of this time. An easy thing I tried to adhere to was doing 3 things every day: something creative, something educational, and something active. The categories were purposefully broad – physical, for example, could be anything from a run to stretching while watching Netflix – and it helped to have daily, achievable goals.

But also, allow yourself some rest

WFH and self isolation are certainly not the same thing as a vacation. However, especially with the world feeling like it’s ending, it’s ok to not need to be productive (after remote-office hours, of course.) Lean into binging tv shows, taking long baths or reading books, diving back into the world of Sims. It’s ok to seek out comfort right now, because…

Isolation can be painful!

Loneliness is real. And if you’re the kind of person who needs to share physical space with people, this adjustment may be particularly uncomfortable. But it doesn’t last forever, and in 2020 there are so many ways to stay connect and close to the folks you care about. On that note…

If you’re feeling panicky, anxious, stressed - talk about it!

Reach out to people you trust and share where you’re at. If you need support, now is as good a time as any to ask for it. For alternatives, consider starting a journal, recording voice memos, making videos, if only for yourself, to talk through those thoughts and stop them from occupying precious brain space. Speaking of videos…

Send your friends dance videos, or schedule a GoogleHang and have solo dance parties, together.

When I lived in Japan there were some nights that my beloved apartment felt not just sparse, but empty; in those times that I felt particularly distanced from my friends and life back in the US, I started sending these dance videos to select folks on Instagram. It was silly (still is tbh) and yet very much helped to keep me sane and connected to people I love. Dancing around my apartment was a good way to save me from my melancholy self, and now is kind of a necessity during quarantine times, to shake off some of that excess energy and loosen up some of the stir crazy. Another great option is tuning into groups like Dance Church, who have taken their weekly gathering online and available for streaming.

On the topic of GoogleHangouts…

Throw some on your calendar! Make it weekly, make it daily, make them random. I am convinced that my Groupchat of high school pals played a large part in me tolerating the weight of isolation as a foreigner; WhatsApp with and Instagram messenger acted as lifelines when it came to feeling connection with my people back home.

Not sure where to start? Host a quarantine happy hour where everyone calls in at the same time with their beverage of choice! Start a Netflix viewing party! Make a free account on Tabletopia and play board games against your friends remotely! Start an online bookclub! If you’re musically inclined, go live on Instagram and let folks tune in! It’s no stand-in for IRL social time, but I can say after moving around a number of times, it’s actually pretty incredible how many ways there are to hangout from afar.

Revisit your internal project list.

What is something you haven’t been able to get to in your regular life because of daily commitments like work? Reading the stack of books by your bed? Baking the best bread humanly possible? Learning another language? Having a project (or 5) to chip away at during my time abroad helped me to feel productive and take pride in accomplishing something. There’s so many great online (often free) resources for learning new things. I like to rely on Skillshare for prompts, but recently have purchased a few classes through Moment to learn more about mobile filmmaking. That being said, I’d also be careful not to fall into the trap of turning everything into work. Don’t put more pressure on yourself than needed right now. If there’s room to chip away at personal projects, be they anything from self portraits or cross-stitch, take the time to find some pleasure in creating. Oh yeah, and do update your damn website (me, to me.)

An additional list of thoughts in no particular order:

Make a collaborative playlists

Check in on your freelance friends (help them out financially if and when you can, promote their work, buy their merch, shoot them a Venmo, a PayPal, a CashApp.)

Deep clean your place!

Consume podcasts like it’s your job.

Finally clear the open tabs on your browser window (wishful thinking)

Do your taxes! Annoying, but hey, if you’ve got the time.

StoryCorps! If you’re already cooped up with folks - family or roommates or partners– take the time to get to know them in a way you usually don’t

Send snail mail!

Participate in Instagram challenges or prompts

I’m a fan of #DrawThisInYourStyle for illustration projects, but I really like @rockthatmuseumgirl’s idea of posting art we’ve seen and tagging them #throwbackmuseum since so many art institutions and public spaces are closed right now.

On a community note…

Donate to food banks! Blood banks! Buy local gift cards to use later or see if your favorite spots are doing pickup or to-go options! Support your neighborhood any way you can, while staying safe, and more than anything, be kind. As a wise art director reminded us on Instagram this week: “everyone is fighting their own battles. be mindful & grateful for what you have”

Ok, enough rambling from me. Till next time, y’all

#coronavirus #self-isolation #social distancing #solitude #creativity #advice #travel-abroad #travel-blog

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the-connection · 6 years

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Image: Daniela Cadore

My Instagram Story persona could not be further from the real me.

She's chill, constantly smiling and laughing, and always living her best life in some far-flung place that looks as if it were built with the 'gram in mind. To be quite honest with you, I sometimes prefer her to my IRL self.

Scratch the highly-curated veneer of the 2-dimensional version of the life I purport to lead, and you'll see someone struggling daily with severe anxiety and low self-esteem.

This gaping chasm of difference between these two identities became a source of anxiety for me this summer. "Will people be disappointed when they see I'm not as fun as my Instagram self?" I worried as I returned from a summer holiday in France, which I'd documented on my Story.

SEE ALSO: How a vacation and a digital detox app helped cure my iPhone addiction

I knew my Instagram Story wasn't telling the full story. And, I'll wager yours doesn't either.

A new book by journalist and influencer Katherine Ormerod explores these very feelings that the social media generation experience every single day — and, crucially, the impact social media has on our wellbeing.

Its title — Why Social Media Is Ruining Your Life — might sound a little scaremongering, but Ormerod's well-researched book is packed full of wisdom that will not only make you feel less alone in your worries, it offers advice and tips to help you armour up against the all-consuming force that is social media. Given that one in three young women feel a pressure to portray their lives as "perfect" on social media, according to recent research by Girl Guiding, this book couldn't be more needed.

"There was a moment where I sat back on my sun lounger thinking: what am I projecting here?"

Ormerod is no stranger to the feeling that her Instagram persona doesn't measure up to the reality of her everyday existence. A journalist and social media influencer with 46K Instagram followers, Ormerod tells Mashable she started to feel "quite complicit in a lot of the messages" that social media can disseminate. But, one moment made her "sit back and take a moment," she says.

"I was on holiday in Tulum, which is obviously the Instagram destination, with a bunch of other amazingly successful hard-working women," says Ormerod.

"None of us had come from loads of money, we'd all made our own businesses, and worked really hard." She says that while they were all having a "lovely time" they were also "fielding calls from the office" and managing a variety of things that come hand in hand with running your own business.

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Tonight’s first instalment of realz captions comes in the form of this monochrome summer shot. People often ask me who takes my Instagram pictures and more often than not it’s my boyfriend. Everyone laughs about the ‘Instagram husband,’ but for me it’s actually a thing and over the years has caused more than its fair share of rows. The cataclysmic argument which followed this shot was focused on the fact that I wanted to take a picture when he was hungover and not in the mood - which really is fair enough. Without Hade snapping me on his iPhone pretty much everywhere we go, there would be no pictures on this account and I’m unendingly grateful for his patience. But that doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes have flare ups and a worrying amount of time it’s because of pictures for Instagram. So while it may seem that this account is all me, there are actually two of us behind it, generally getting on but sometimes arguing about how he’s managed to make me look like I’ve got 17 chins #whysocialmediaisruiningyourlife

A post shared by ＫａｔｈｅｒｉｎｅＯｒｍｅｒｏｄ (@katherine_ormerod) on Sep 11, 2018 at 11:24am PDT

But, the way the trip was presented on social media couldn't have been further from the hustle and grind that went on behind the scenes. "The pictures we ended up posting from that trip were sunset views, five star hotel rooms, designer bikinis, and there was a moment where I sat back on my sun lounger thinking: what am I projecting here?"

"You aren't insulated from tragedy. It's part and parcel of life and no one's life is as perfect as it looks."

She says the story told on Instagram didn't accurately represent "what success is really all about" — or the hard graft that not only leads up, but runs concurrent to success. "I truly feel that social media is only representing the rewards without showing the graft that goes into getting to that place," says Ormerod.

She decided to set up a website called Work Work Work and she began interviewing friends and fellow journalists and influencers about the "less photogenic sides of their lives." These conversations formed the basis of the idea for the book.

"We discussed mental health issues, eating issues, miscarriages — all the universal issues women go through no matter how ritzy your life might look on social media," says Ormerod. "We've all got parents, we've all got health issues. However privileged you are, you aren't insulated from tragedy. It's part and parcel of life and no one's life is as perfect as it looks." For those of us who've posted glamorous-looking selfies during some of the most difficult moments of our lives, Ormerod's words ring very true.

Ormerod says that while being an influencer might look like you're leading the most lavish, luxurious life imaginable, the reality is anything but. "I come from a really modest background, but it looks like I'm really rich on social media," she says. Armed with the knowledge of just how much it took to get to this point in her career (doing several low paid jobs in order to be able to work for free for two years on a fashion magazine) Ormerod is under no illusion about the 'glamour' that comes with life as an influencer.

But, that's not to say she's immune from social media's influence on how she sees herself.

"It's such a relief in the unbearable pressure cooker of perfection and social comparison to hear that actually it is a fantasy."

"I'm just coming up to 35, I thought by this time I'd be married, I'd be in a nice family home, I'd be really secure financially," she says. "Instead, I have a baby and I run my own business but a lot of those tick-boxes have remained unticked, or have veered terribly off path."

Ormerod puts this down to "benchmark anxiety." "You think when you look on social media that everyone has hit these standards that you have been socially conditioned to think you're meant to have hit by a certain amount of time," she says. One thing that has helped her counter these feelings is the realisation that "it's all bullshit." Once you realise this, she says, "the edge of social media comparison does wear away."

There are two sides to the story and many of us — myself included — are only sharing one side with our followers. But, Ormerod wants to change that.

"Obviously I do put pretty pictures up online because I love fashion and shoes and beauty and I'm not ashamed of that — that's part of who I am. But, I do really believe it's important to show both sides," she says. As part of her book launch, she's started a digital campaign encouraging people to tell the real story behind their supposedly perfect pictures.

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I’ve shared the story behind this fashion week in a few places, but in short, my husband had just left me, I’d found out that thousands of pounds were no longer in my bank account and I was struggling to get my landlord to let me out of my lease. As an addition to this, as a total rebound I’d also had a fling with an American guy who had persuaded me to come early to New York before fashion week to see him. On a crazy whim I decided to go and booked the hotel room - which he said he would pay for - on my credit card. I had so much anticipation, had decided to use the money I did have left to get a wax and left feeling like I was about to start the next stage of my romantic life. But then I arrived and he stopped answering my messages. Finally at midnight I got a text saying he couldn’t actually make it as had to go to a hockey match. A HOCKEY MATCH. I never heard from him again and all I was left with was my Brazilian wax and the hotel room bill. Then I had to do fashion week having not only just been left by my husband, but also the rebound guy. It was BRUTAL. But this was the picture I posted. #whysocialmediaisruiningyourlife

A post shared by ＫａｔｈｅｒｉｎｅＯｒｍｅｒｏｄ (@katherine_ormerod) on Sep 11, 2018 at 11:24am PDT

She's reposting old photos and sharing the no-holds-barred story behind those images. "My husband had just left me, I’d found out that thousands of pounds were no longer in my bank account and I was struggling to get my landlord to let me out of my lease," reads one of the captions to Ormerod's reposted 'gram. She then details that not only had her husband just left her, but she'd flown to New York to spend time with a "rebound guy" who promptly stopped replying to her texts the minute she arrived. "I never heard from him again and all I was left with was my Brazilian wax and the hotel room bill," she wrote.

"There's a picture of me at Glastonbury saying 'yeah, everyone loves going to Glastonbury but I fucking hate festivals and I was just there for the content,'" Ormerod tells me. "I came home after one night but I didn't put that on Instagram."

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Here’s another picture of me from that year - this time at Glastonbury. When you look at social media everyone seems to be on endless once in a lifetime experiences and constantly having fun. But sometimes living for content - or going places and doing things just so you have something to talk about/ appear to be having an interesting life can mean you waste a lot of your time doing things you don’t much enjoy. I fucking hate festivals. There is nothing casual about me so it takes all my strength to pretend Im ok with camping. I don’t particularly like the countryside, hate being around people doing drugs and never know any of the bands or the words to the songs. I ended up leaving Glasto after one night sodden, drenched and totally, totally over it. But I didn’t write that on instagram #whysocialmediaisruiningyourlife

A post shared by ＫａｔｈｅｒｉｎｅＯｒｍｅｒｏｄ (@katherine_ormerod) on Sep 10, 2018 at 12:04pm PDT

Based on the responses she's been getting, Ormerod feels that this double-sided stories are something that people are "dying to see." "It's such a relief in the unbearable pressure cooker of perfection and social comparison to hear that actually it is a fantasy," she says.

Of course, telling yourself that it's all "bullshit" is far easier said than done. But, Ormerod's book identifies on a granular level the myriad thoughts and feelings one experiences when social media begins to skew our perceptions of ourselves.

"How close is your online identity to your offline identity? Are you merely tinkering with the digital version of your life, or is it pure fiction? Take a long, calm look at what you are curating online and be honest with yourself," reads the book. "Does it feel like hard work to keep up the pretence?"

For many of us, the answer to that last question is a resounding yes. But, rather than giving us a rap on the wrist, or telling us to delete all our apps, or labelling us self-obsessed narcissists (as many headlines do), this book offers a realistic step-by-step approach to taking back control over social media's place in our lives.

"I think there's nothing wrong with social media, there's nothing wrong with technology," says Ormerod. "But the way we're using it and our perspective on it is something we need to reframe and that's really what this book is about."

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This was a very popular picture - taken at my mum’s in France. But what I wasn’t mentioning was that I was 9 weeks pregnant and PUKING MY GUTS up about 15 times a day. I’m holding my bag in front of my tummy and have got a lot of bronzer on, so masking the fact that I was in actual hell. The second picture is actually what I looked like every day for the next month and a half. Friends have asked me how I was so stylish through my pregnancy - the truth is I was mainly in oversized t-shirts with my head in the loo, but that look, strangely, did not make it on to social media #whysocialmediaisruiningyourlife

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Reading that I'm not alone in feeling like my Instagram persona is like having a prettier, happier, more successful twin sister is reassuring. Having the tools to do something about that feeling? Even better.

Why Social Media is Ruining Your Life is available from Sept. 20 for £12.99.

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