#i’m FINALLY not sick anymore

[koolaidashley]

Gonna try and get the last part for tmnt 04 ep 1 out umm Saturday or Sunday ok 🫶🏻

#tmnt #tmnt 04 #I’m finally not sick anymore #and I should have some free time between working #so yayyyy #n then I’ll open the discord server up

[pepperpixel]

A pic of my human whirl design and holomatter avatar whirl hanging out together! Cuz I thought that’d be cute! And I was right… it is!

#transformers #mtmte #whirl #tf whirl #humanformers #mtmte whirl #doodles #Srry it’s been so long since uploading anything. I got a job! last month #and! it’s been going good… but also I do not have as much free time… #also… I’m.. it’s at a daycare… and I got a 102 degree fever last LAST Tuesday #2 Tuesdays ago. and I’m still fucking coughing. every time I start feeling better I go back to work and the sickness like resets itself. #also one of the kids gave me pinkeye!!! #im… thinking about looking for a diff job lol #im rlly proud of how well I’ve been handling this one. and its def boosted my confidence! #but.. like… i live with old ppl. who have there own serious issues. also I have my own issues! #espec w the eye thing like i had to go to an eye doctor ever month for like 2 years cuz my eyes were screwed up #and finally last year i got the ok that my eyes were doing good! and they weren’t screwed up anymore. and then i get fucking pink eye! #that freaks me out!!!! and Ive been sick for 2 weeks straight! that sucks!!! #like.. ive just realized… this level of exposure to illness and bacteria.. is not worth it lol #ive still got to do like 2 weeks notice tho so hopefully im not fucking sick for 2 more weeks #I feel like that’s a possibility ghgh #anyway yeah I got a job that’s why arts been scarce. gonna get a new job after this one so art will probably still be scarce lol #it’s ok that just means it’ll be more of a treat when I do post! like u guys’ll cherish it more right? lol #absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that #maccadam

[lgbtiwtv]

the more I think about rashidmand the more I’m like. that whole thing definitely has to do with daniel right? like nobody else is there. of course yeah it could be a fun little game louis and armand are playing but like. it’s not being played for anyone but daniel. because there’s history there that he’s forgotten. so like. what was the purpose? to tease? to see how long it’d take him to notice, if he did at all? dramatic reveal? jog his memory? to what end? like….I genuinely and truly think that some part of devils minion happened in the 70s and daniel wanted armand to change him and obviously armand didn’t want to so. instead of daniel’s self-destruction leading to getting turned it led to armand erasing/editing his memories, because he wanted daniel to live a human life. but why do all this now??? because of louis’ wish to retell his story? because daniel’s sick? because something big is brewing in the vampire world and they want daniel close by? all of the above??? and most importantly how is daniel gonna feel when he remembers everything and realizes what armand did

#im having previously undiscovered emotions over them. #GOD…the possibilities I’m gonna be SICK over them #like the concept of splitting devils minion in half and having the first part be 70s and the 2nd be present day makes SOOO much sense to me #like the death that armand finally saves Daniel from is Parkinson’s rather than his purposeful selfless destruction #AND this time daniel has lived!! and he doesn’t want it anymore!!! so what will the situation be??? #will it be that armand can’t stand to lose him??? Daniel gets his memories back and is furious at being denied the life he wanted???? #GOD. I can’t wait s2 s3 I need you now… #iwtv #interview with the vampire #the vampire chronicles #armandaniel #devil’s minion #daniel molloy #the vampire armand #louis de pointe du lac #iwtv speculation #m watches iwtv

[mad-aims]

So I came out to my mum and dad tonight, my dad was fine with it and my mum didn’t believe me! 🤣

Is this normal?

#mad-aims talks #finally it’s not a secret anymore #feel a bit sick now and i’m not sure if it’s from the alcohol i’ve drank tonight #my mum thinks i’m drunk 🤦🏻 #i’m not drunk #not now anyway #bisexual #i’m out guys! 🙌

[abby420]

trauma is so wild like what do you mean it’s been seven years. what do you mean it still makes me sick to my stomach. what do you mean this has forever changed how i view myself and my relationships with others. what do you mean that happened to me. what do you mean i can’t remember it. literally what. what do you mean i can never be normal about this now. what.

#i finally worked up to read the journal entries i wrote about this very specific trauma and i feel sick to my stomach over it #reading it like…that girl i was was real? she was real. i don’t remember her but she is me? #and i can feel myself regressing from it #i’m leaning back on those same coping mechanisms again and it’s…sigh #i just can’t believe it happened to me #and who would i be if that never happened to me? #how do i ever grow past it? #how will i ever be okay? how will i ever fully recover? can i fully recover? #last night was so rough for me when i finished reading those journal entries #i went into some weird manic state where i suddenly had to know everything about me during that time #i downed half a bottle of tequila and tore apart my room to find my old phone so i could read all my old texts from him and everything i #ever told anyone about him #i had to know #and i was listening to the playlist i made about it #it was just ugh #i never really worked through any of this like every therapist i’ve had i’ve skipped over this because i couldn’t face it #and now i want to face it and i don’t have a therapist anymore 🙃 #this is entirely my fault for consuming a piece of media i KNEW would be triggering but thought i’d be immune but too bad now im in it #i just wish it never happened #it never should have happened #ugh #sorry #vent post #i’ll probs delete later #but for now i’ll throw it out into the void that is my tumblr feed #trauma

[void-tiger]

When is enough time to say “I need us to be able to talk” because nonverbal albeit finally friendlier has my anxiety so so high and the higher it gets the more I feel like I have the social skills of a child as a nearly-30 year old woman. And I just don’t know how much more of feeling like I’m making a fool of myself I can take.

It is better. But I’ve still reached my limit. I’m so so tired of the “exposure therapy” when it feels like I’m regressing but don’t know what else to do.

#tiger’s roar #mental health bullshit #socializing crap #goooood i’m so so bad at this #and i just. i can’t take non verbal anymore #i can’t take shy waves anymore #i can’t take us barelu speaking even if he is trying now #because he’s definitely more comfortable with others #while i’ve tried for so long that while my Gut is Right #i feel like i’m talking worse to everyone #and. okay. yes i am stressed as hell about writing something and stuck proposing it #that i don’t even think he knows he gave me a final nudge to write it #but I Don’t KNOW if he’ll ever let me talk to him instead of this STUPID hi/bye #and feeling like i’m 5 years old #which OFC I would ‘cause thats when the trauma started and OOHH MY GOD I’m sick of this

[stoned-ratpack]

Whoever invented Zofran deserves the best sloppy ever like I’m talking the double grip slippy twist gawk gawk 5000 cream sucking tornado blowjob sloppy toppy

#if you can’t tell I’ve had stomach issues all day and I finally ain’t nauseous or sick anymore #I’m also very sleep deprived and dehydrated

[hellfireeddiemunson]

fuck today honestly im so overstimulated i want to throw a full tantrum on the fucking floor

#i’m sick of being at work i’ve been here for 3.5 hours and i’m fucking done dude i don’t want to be here anymore #and yet i’ll be here until fucking almost 5pm so. great #everything keeps going shitty i’m annoyed and pissed and overstimulated as fuck #i had to fucking fix the whole pos bc it got fucked up and the printer and drawer wouldn’t fucking connect #and i just almost spilled my coffee everywhere #it took me 30 mins to even MAKE said coffee due to customers being IMPATIENT #people wiped well over 3/4 of my case before 10 and we opened at 9 :-) so i fucking had to do the entire case for a second time #i also sprayed myself on accident with the fucjign sprayer for the dishes AND the syrup for my coffee bounced off the ice in my cup and got #all over my face and glasses and neck and i just ..i just want to go the fuck home i’m sick of this shit dude #i do NOT get paid enough to deal with how much saturdays make me want to actually kms #i don’t fucking want to do anything else either and im fucking not #the rest of my shift will be me cleaning dishes i made and washing the piping bags and then cleaning and helping customers #im not baking im not doing anything else on the list im fucking mentally drained i can’t #and how fucking nice too thhat i get to have tomorrow off and then come back monday-friday before i finally get to have 3 days off #sooooooooo fun and cool i want to fucking dIE #oh did i mention saturdays i work entirely alone for the whole 8 hour shift

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I hate having a uterus, where do I return it??

#I’m finally starting to not feel sick anymore #then I got my fucking period #ughhhh #I have a school project for tmr I haven’t even started #I don’t like this #me

[arthur-r]

(vent cw sorry i ran out of room in the tags to say that. it’s illness-related anger as usual. content warning for medical everything)

im so fucking sick though. just in general

#and i am so tired of people acting like they know my experiences better than i do #stayed home from school today falling behind in everything couldn’t fcuking get out of bed and my dad said that yesterday my energy was up #so i’m obviously faking it today. like yeah yesterday i laid in bed for hours then came to your house and sat in a chair. saw me for 30min #you don’t get to tell me that yesterday i was feeling well because i fucking wasn’t and you have never noticed or cared #when i fucking passed out got a black eye from hitting my head on the way down. he didn’t fucking bat an eye #now i’m stuck awake because i have stomach pain and my heart has been pounding so loud for hours #and i’m trying to sleep and i need to make it to school tomorrow but i can’t #and i’ve been trying and i’ve been lying awake. and at this point i don’t know how to deal with this anymore #i get sick three times a month you’re supposed to be sick three times a year. this isn’t even counting days where i can’t stand #when i say i’m sick i mean i have sore throat congestion and sometimes fever. and it’s almost always a direct result of trying to live life #like i went to the mall thursday prom shopping. walked a few hours. woke up next morning sore throat runny nose couldnt focus on school from #all the pain in so many places and all of my regular symptoms just being escalated so badly. cant think can’t see cant stand #and that is messed up!!!! that is messed up!!!! and my mother tells me she finally agrees i need anxiety medicine #like hey thanks!! that’s helpful!! however!! why do you only endorse mental when it’s the only alternative to physical #why has my mom always denied viewing my anxiety as anything i shouldn’t just push aside. until it becomes a way to tell me that my physical #problems should also just be pushed aside. why is it so hard to get an audience with a doctor #ANYWAYS i have my stupid follow up appointment. this friday. i dont know how it’s gonna go down #i’m just going to tell the doctor how much it fucking sucks. i guess i’m going to ask for a referral to a neurology specialist in the cities #which will drive my family insane they don’t want to enter the cities to help me. but our clinic doesn’t have what i need #i might get the doctor to do a stress test on friday though if they can do that. but i want specific autonomic testing #and like yeah. i get that anxiety is in the autonomic system. part of fight flight freeze and what EVER i’m not trying to say it’s not!!!! #but does it occur to anyone that my heightened anxiety is one of several symptoms. rather than somehow being the cause #heart rate in panic attack sitting down is 120bpm. heart rate in normal brain walking down the hallway is 140bpm. it’s not my fucking brain #anyway i just need a doctor to actually fucking look at me. actually do the tests actually monitor. because it’s there if you look #but nobody cares enough to look and i just have to sit here falling behind in all my classes and not able to do my job that i love #and just wait for it to somehow get better when i’ve been like this as long as i can remember and maybe it’s worse now but it’s always been #there and everybody writes it off as me being lazy or not putting in enough work and maybe i would have been in sports as a kid if i could!! #people act like my fitness now is because of choices i made as a child but i have ALWAYS had worse reaction to exercise than my friends #and anyway i just. idk. sore throat and stuff is gone now but overall discomfort and disability is not. but i’m going to school cause i cant #keep missing it for health reasons just have to watch my heart go insane and do nothing. out of tags i’m sorry. i’m just so tired.

[fagrights]

people suck so bad these people who basically leave my mom to do all the work when it comes to my grandfather and now my grandmother have to suck it up and take charge for one week when she’s been in this nursing home ans they can’t. then they act like my mom not showing up is the worst slight they’ve ever seen in their life. they only show up when shit goes down and they can’t ignore their guilt anymore so they finally do something about it (poorly)

#my moms like you can’t be mad at them.. they just don’t get it I don’t even care anymore #I will be fucking mad. I have not stopped being mad #even when my mom is sick or when she was working or in horrible horrible pain #she would still be taking care of her parents. her mom #my sister is mad too and then I’m like ok you won’t be mad mom I can’t make you fine we’ll be mad for you #I was saying shit to my aunt the other day about it trying to get answers from her but it’s literally. #they all have no idea what they’re doing it’s frustrating #but my grandmother eats it up?? finally they come by to see her <3

[sourkitsch]

waiting patiently to fall back in love with my ch*rik regency/gothic romance au I can’t have written nearly 40k words for nothing come on

#I’m like poking my own brain #last day of quarantine and I’ve finally lost it fyi #I should be getting cleared & starting classes again tomorrow morning #I’m not sick enough to feel uncomfortable anymore but there was literally nothing to do I’ve done every activity already #so #I just did a lot of nothing and now I feel bad

[makialene]

One of the things I cannot stand is when I ask a question and I’m told “you’re smart, you can figure it out”

Because if I am asking you the question!! That means I cannot figure it out!!! It means I have tried and been unsuccessful and am now trying to use my resources to figure it out!! You are probably my last option!!

#this has been happening A LOT in my life lately and I’m starting to get really fucking sick of it #I’m tired! i hate asking for help! i finally got over myself and actually tried! #do you know how desperate I have to be to ask for help? #and then to have someone I KNOW can solve my orb problem just be like #“nah lol gl tho’ #also #‘you’re smart you can figure it out’ #but I CANT #does that mean I’m not smart anymore in your eyes #this turned into a bit of a vent #sorry #jus talking #vent

[acidbathcat]

also a lot of the things i thought were “sensory issues” were reasonable reactions to my skin hissing and spitting at anything it dislikes, such as seams on clothes, the sun, sweat, lack of sleep, hair touching my (itchy) face, all shit that literally hurt me ! and i assumed it was all in my head

#not that sensory issues don’t hurt but #but now instead of awkwardly shrugging it off like ‘i don’t like the sun’ or making up an excuse i can b like. well it hurts my skin. #sorry sorry sorry i’m perseverating again i’m only here bc everyone around me is sick of hearing me talk about skin #u don’t understand how life changing this is it’s like when i got told i had adhd and i had meds and all this advice #that actually finally helped me. like i wasn’t stuck alone anymore.

[badolmen]

If I’m doomed to wake up at 2AM sweating to death even though it’s 20 degrees cooler than when I fell asleep I’m going to become a vigilante.

#ra speaks #personal #vent ish #August 15 I see my primary it’s less than a month away I can cope #i haven’t gotten a full nights sleep in months #7-9 PM I sweat to death then I finally fall asleep by 10-11 then by 2 I’m up again until I fall asleep at 4 and my alarm goes off #violence killing maiming biting etc. #I’m stressed that my doc is gonna need blood work and like. i do not live at home anymore and I’m driving 3 hours to get there for one day. #idk if/when I’ll have to time to do blood work esp. if it’s fasting. #also FUCK this morning sickness bullshit it’s not fair I’m not even pregnant wtf is wrong w me #I’ve figured I have a hormonal imbalance for like a year now idk why it’s been so consistent and so so bad the last few months