#i wish it didnt matter

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

"Deep inside, Wilson believes that if he cares enough, he'll never have to die."

What the fuck were the House writers on

#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #this quote is attempted murder #i cant live like this #This also puts the scene were Wilson tells House he wishes he was more of an asshole into perspective #“i wish i had been more a selfish jerk” “youd still have cancer” “atleast id feel like i deserved it” #because wilson spent his whole life helping people because some part of him genuinely believed that he would live a very long good life #as long as he was doing good and helping people #but in the end none of it mattered and in his mind he wasted his entire life being overly good when he couldve just lived how he wanted #because in the end it didnt make any difference #brb sobbing #thats why when people act like wilson is the devil for saying that to house i lose 5 years of my life #house md #house #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #wilson #housemd

[puppyeared]

man

#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant #but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years #like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact #but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer #for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated #motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year #also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when #ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread #im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover #but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that #the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse #im so tired. im so tired #i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place #ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER #oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!! #and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously #vent #my art #myart #doodles #covid 19

[dishsaop]

the thing abt astarion and baldurs gate 3 is that while i do like astarion, hes an interesting character with some cool plots, im fairly neutral on him compared to most of the cast. but. he rolls over a 30 nine times out of ten when lockpicking and disarming traps. which suits my playstyle so well.

when i started playing the game i first tried to regularly swap out characters (habits kept from rpgs where characters not in the party dont level up/dont level up as fast) but i realized pretty fast that the flouncy traumaguy is actually so useful. hes really reliable in battle and he destroys traps and locks with so much ease i just Cant leave him at camp. he disapproves of 95% of what i do bc im trying to smooch karlach this run, but im spending all my gold to put him in schmancy little outfits that keep him from getting one-shotted.

hes my little purse dog. if a purse dog had a gun and a set of lockpicks. sure im allergic to dogs and this dog hates me whenever i open my mouth, but look at him, look at how cute the gun is in his little paws when he snipes mind flayers.

#if party makeup for battles didnt matter id have my tav jaheira halsin and karlack. unfortunately that would #be three druids and a barbarian. i like the well roundedness of a druid but jesus christ we would all die #im playing a fucking rogue next time. #I NEED TO BE CLEAR THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE HATING ON THE VAMPIRE. I LIKE THE VAMPIRE #but i literally cannot use wyll bc i hate the way warlocks play and its killing me. i love wyll. i wish i could take u with me buddy #but astarion just picked a dc 30 safe with no rerolls man and you have two spells lots #m text #*KARLACH. SORRY SWEETIE IM ON MOBILE AND I CANT FIX TAGS IM SO SORRY I MISSPELLED YOUR NAME

[transphilza]

support group for people who joined the dsmp fandom after april of 2021 because the only major server event (that wasn’t an Ending) that we got to experience with the community was the fucking prison break

#‘remember when wilbur started his stream on nov16 and tick tick boom was playing and it was like-‘ NO!!!!! IM SORRY!!!!! IM A FRAUD!!!!!!!!! #im SUPER greatful i got to see Almost all of the revivebur streams live though. like seriously ❤️❤️ #and a few las nevadas ones. like we’ve had great stuff dont get me wrong #but man i do really wish id gotten to see stuff like lmanberg and nov16 and doomsday and all that live #its pain bc i LITERALLY WATCHED SO MANY OF THE CCS ALREADY AT THAT PT #id watched s.mp live so i knew Everyone from there And i watched drm since his first few videos #i just Didnt Have The Time to watch :( #also on a more serious level i didnt get to see that much of technos lore live because he was diagnosed not long after i made this blog #its just. yeahh. it doesnt make me seriously upset cause you cant change the past like it doesnt matter #but i do think about it wistfully

[naturecalls111]

on liking girls

#comic #vent art #other fandoms #the fandom is my personal life LMAO #I had posted this on twitter and deleted it because it was vent art from back in like. Ohhh I forget. Must have been january #Like I had just had my birthday and I don't know what it was but something made me realise like #oh. I haven't come out to my parents #like it's Been a minute I probably should right #and my parents are like. the best in the world I say that with my whole chest #my sexuality is not something they would ever care about let alone judge me for #like they have so many gay friends OBJECTIVELY I KNOW THIS IS A NON ISSUE LOL #but I don't know. something about it DOES feel dangerous and I can barely come to terms with it #I hate the idea of making it a "thing'. does that make sense #i don't want it to be a “thing” #I don't want them to tell me they'll love me no matter what and that this doesn't change anything #I don't want to have to subject them to feel like I'm “opening up” and then Have to respond like that #I wish it felt like as natural of an integration as someone is being straight you know #i wish it was: i come home with the prettiest girl in the world (she is the prettiest because she is my girlfriend) and they're just like #“hi! so nice to meet you! lets sit for tea!” #and thats it no questions asked. my mom or dad wouldn't ask “why didnt you tell us?” does that make sense #This is why none of my highschool friends know either #i'll tell them if they ask but I don't want to make a performance of Telling Them #I don't. Owe them that #I don't owe anyone a heads up. I don't want to. I don't want to make it A Thing #It's a Me thing. I don't get why it has to be turned into a You thing. #also hi if you havent seen my face i look like That LOL

[callofdudes]

Those who do know what I'm talking about I would like to apologize. I've taken the post down because I do realize it was in very poor taste. I never wished to come off how I did, and I realized it was not my place to step. For anyone I've offended, I'm hoping we can move forward from this as I genuinely didn't understand that what I had done was so offensive or more than a joke. I know now that it was a place I shouldn't step in and yet I did it anyway and that was very poor judgement on my part. I'm not going to do anything like that again, and I promise it was not out of any malice in my heart, but my extremely poor judgement and misunderstanding.

I realize that now it wasn't a joke and even if it was, I would have had no right to step over that boundary like I did. I've been made aware that what happened was poorly received and I'm committed to moving forward to improve from this lesson that I've learned.

I know people may resort to calling me things I'd never wish to be labeled as. All I can do is realize that I didn't make the best decision today, as every human will do. I've done what I can in removing the post and apologizing, and that's all I can do. I'm very sorry for how my careless actions affected people.

#I do realize that no matter my intentions i still made a bad decision and I admit I was wrong #Im sorry that i couldn't catch myself beforehand and that had to come onto the blog as i truly wish to remain as neutral as possible #I want to be a place where everyone can go for some relief from the world and i didn't do that this time #Id only ever seen the post in a joking sort of context and didnt realize that it was actually very offense so I'm very sorry for that

[sieglinde-freud]

WHERE WERE THE AWAKENING SECOND GEN ON JULY 21ST 2023

#fe13 #fe awakening #fire emblem #fe shitpost #not tagging these mfs goddamn anyways #long tag ramble incoming btw #this is a lie bc owain pleaded all of them to go barbenheimer with him #but still #also yes there is a difference between being in between barbie and oppenheimer and being at barbenheimer #barbenheimer is its own concept #anyways i think cynthia is the type of person to be like 'yeah barbie isnt really my thing but i'll go with you' and then she cries the most #yarne is too scared of oppenheimer but he thinks the memes are funny #the morgans are FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT and as much as fmorgan likes barbie shes such an oppenheimer girl. crush on florence pugh i know it #kjelle is not up for debate btw. thinks oppenheimer is cool but shes literally feminism the unit #sat for florence pugh tho #inigo has I'm Just Ken on repeat and it will be number one on his spotify wrapped #bradys thinks saying hes an oppenheimer guy will save his masculinity but it didnt matter bc he cried at the first scene of barbie #no one knows why. it was of girls smashing baby dolls on rocks. #know that im looking at them though.. tbh they all cried at barbie its just a matter of when #u can tell me im wrong if you so wish but i dont care and im not listening #after this they went out for the barbie burger king meal and got sick

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Irl conversation I had with a friend two days ago

#the akashi sibs have green eyes idc #wakui is unreliable on the matter and i refuse to acknowledge the anime choice #the only characters i may accept have blue eyes are Takemichi and inui #and for inui its only bc the color blue is an important part of his character(ization) EXCEPT THAT IT CAN ALSO BE GREEN #i wish more people acknowledge that inuis kanji 'sei' means blue or green and that his image color is bluish purple. #red is akanes color. not his. #and also like. the complementary color of red is blue. hence for that fact only i accept the interpretation that inuis eyes are blue #tokyo revengers #tok rev #tr #tokrev #tr sanzu #tokrev sanzu #sanzu haruchiyo #also i like to think the akashi sibs all share the same eyes color and i cant picture Takeomi with blue eyes. it's quite hard with sanzu an #senju too. and like come on when you think of spring you think of green. so sanzu has green eyes. didnt want to have them? shouldnt have #the kanji for spring in his name #tr memes #tokrev memes #tokyo revengers memes

[lunarblossomyuehua]

Hello I am in agony after reading the blackwater arc and in need of therapy now

#tgcf #heaven officials blessing #blackwater arc #shi qingxuan #Ming Yi #He Xuan #I am in so much agony #I love my genderfluid power couple #and I wish it didnt have to be this way but #yeah swd did kinda completely fuck over this poor dudes life and family without giving him any sy in the matter #so the revenge? valid #hurting shi qinxuan? not so much #YueHua draws

[scaryhaven]

trying so hard not to have full blown panic attack, im beyond devastated, i just keep saying in my head, oh god not again, it cant be true, but it is.

#lee sun kyun #ive been his fan since i was a teen and hes in my favorite k drama ever. the idea that he would be gone anytime soon never crossed my mind #i am so scared for jiyong but i am so grateful that he has survived so many trials because i know all too well tht this is often how it end #i hope ppl are keeping an eye on their loved ones right now. suicide is devastating but can sometimes be avoided #it didnt need to happen. i wish he knew tht. no matter what there was always going to be other options but netizens and media r relentless #he had so much more life to live and his family still needed him no matter what. god i feel sick

[echoesofadream]

so many books on my tbr and also so many books i have started but not finished and im thinking about reading dostojevskij instead

#yes it IS to get closer to theo #i felt this way when i read tgf last time too. and read like first 100 pages of the idiot actually but then stopped bc illiteracy etc #but im thinking i should take advantage of this desire to get to know my theo more personally and read some russian literature #just like he in turn read it to get closer to boris #swag #i should! im rlly close to finishing little women #eel book may wait #other books may wait as welll #and the goldfinch will be like my bible now i read it on a whole othr dimension #will keep it on my nightstand and read excerpts for the rest of my life wont stop me from reading other books #that is if i get it for my birthday (doubtful but i will wish for it). i only have the same library copy now as i had in 2019 #(as in i borrowed again didnt steal it from the library promise) i never buy books but if i am to own one it should be this one #i read at a snails pace but want to read so many things this is difficult but lets not stress it should a fun thing not stressful #if i read a little everyday or try to #then 'completing books' and checking them off my list and feeling idk productive/accomplished or something doesnt matter #it will be like a lifelong open book instead #if that makes sense #that ill never be done with #and thats fun

[basofy]

hmmmm i guess i can let these out in the wild now

these are doodles i did the next day i watched that convo, while still having a bad stomachache, so they're more like vent art

idk if im the only one that took this thing extremely seriously, but it made me sad and it keeps making me sad the more i think about it

img that describes what the scene felt like to me

#my feelings on the matter are extremely conflicted #because im not really opposed to the themes that were explored #but i keep rejecting the conversation no matter what #wheter it's because of the execution or because this happened like 10 years later i dunno #it was such a strange thing to be surprised with #sometimes i dont know if it was made to be serious or not #my main conflict is how different it feels from how lisa tends to tackle these things #i was talking to a friend and they mentioned that it could be made to feel like a joke at first and then get rly dark #because thats how it feels when youre a kid in the position jack was in #i keep wishing there was more to that though #anything that showed that the game cares about jack after it #i think it was made as some sort of trap? to see who took it as a joke and who took it seriously maybe #but it keeps giving me a stomachache im rly bad with triggers haha #didnt expect my comfort game to put this right on my face and leaving it all up to me so im not having a lotta fun #my stuff #lisa rpg #this was my first fanart for the DE wtfff #still wish they got something extra that wasnt a pain to watch just becuz i like both charas #in fact i dont understand some of the choices in the conversations but there are some i liked a lot #i might probably still like garth out of nostalgia but it's random sometimes i like him sometimes im grossed out and so on #lisa garth #garth lisa the painful #jack lisa #if ya need this tagged tell meee #honestly this goes further than 'i hate garth now im gonna send him to the roulette' for me #i dont stop anyone from hating him my issue is with the scene in itself i think. i just wasnt expecting this #also be nice in the tags this thing makes me overthink so much lololol #everytime i make art for this thing i end up changing my mind like i dont feel the same way about the first doodle anymore #upd8 from 3 months later im more at peace with this thing MENTAL ILLNESS CURED YAYYYY #i just allow it to make me sad when it has to

[echo-s-land]

It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care

#vent ig #i wish i could #but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i #wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the #short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent #but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar #and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie #we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant #the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and #'im not even remotely interested by any of you' #its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT #NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up #on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.) #anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point) #am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as #a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened #i hate feeling apathetic #and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them #cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life

[on-leatheredwings]

sometimes i forget this is my blog.... ? if that makes sense? i can do whatever i want?

#if i wanna write male readers or trans readers or fat readers or black readers or LGD #i fucking can....? #one day i will write yandere! reader nonconning the batfam #like its inevitable i fear. #i believe in equal rights god bless 🙏 let reader get their dick wet #i wish i didnt care so much about reception bc it literally doesnt matter #this blog was entirely so i can just be free or as degenerate as i please #there'll always be tw (ill get better at tagging) so...? #ugh sorry ive been talking so much lately idk im just in my head

[yaoianime]

Soon im rly gonna do it

#🕸️ #sui mention #< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are #like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however #every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day #it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a #wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach #into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i #cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening #almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not #only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is #to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being #or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in #coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe #its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont #hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am #im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf #its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will #i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to #do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks #thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me

[solardistress]

everyone who is in the stanley parable fandom should somehow get sucked into the rabbit hole of the story and or characters and or the concept the game presents . not like ohhh i looove the narratorso much heres my design and lore for them for it kind of rabbit hole where you fixate on this character that like. you are making uo backstory for to the point it deviates from canon because youve gone too far from the game details or whatever but but really aanalyze the game the moments the dialogue for just a moment . mmfind the meaning in the words . find somethin g profound in the data the papers the desks the situation as a whole . you cant just . romanticize the characters. without. like. understanding them first . tou cwnt do anything with the characters until you inderstand them at a gut wrenching level . at least brush uo on their wiki once in a while ? play the game ? every now and then ? treat stanley right ? anyway if you like the stanley parable so much why cant you tell me about 432 and their situation . how profoundly sad their existance is and how you trea t them. how about cookie9? why do you hate themm so much. because of a review ? tou antagonize them for what ? the narrators doing ? bexause the narrator what . yeah . tou cant even explain his actions . go go play the game and hav eit rewrite your brain . go down the rabbit hole and bask in the true horror and unrealism of their situation

#how sleepy am i jesus christ #tsp #anywayy i think what im saying is pleade enjoy the gamr and the story it has actually theres so many little details and often all i see is #just. the narrator . the endings . stanley. yeah theres feeling and emotion but j want that in words i want to to see you understand it #i want to see you see it in your own way inderstand and process it in your own way and share that #i love seeing analysis posts !!!!! uughh nbrhh. not to say that like. the fanart isnt what i want no i love the fanart so much #but i wish there were more analysis posts or something idk #idk what my point was here #i love characterization . by the way . as someone who would write fanfics and has a pet peeve of correct characterization in fics and such #i just wish more people hnderstood the game as a whole and didnt just end up being like haha ships !!!!!!!! romance !!!!! like yes ! but #but also like they have something MORE than romance. something more intimate and close . not sex yeah sure whatever but they are #connected in the most horrible ways and connected so closely and lovingly and they are connected whether they like it or not #they hate each other they love each other they are each others world they are divorced theyve been married for eternity they would kill eac #other they woukd have sex they woukd kiss they would dance they would do so many things that arent romance oriented but still close in #so many fucking ways because they love hate each other and their relationship is so conplicated you think they just suddenly love each othe #no matter what now ?? after what. you think stanley is forgiving ? after being brought through hell over and over and over again? #no! they hate each others guts i tell you. but they still stick by each others sides because they dont belong anywhere else #theres love but not in any way any of us can think. theres love but not like that but also exactly like that. theres also hate #and its a beautiful mix of the two that allows them to get along so well and endure each other for so long and further #anyway fucking . i forgot my point #anyway go down the rabbit hole 👍 this game is insane and you should be insane about it too #but like. be insane about it . not the concept of romance in this game. do not pair them up just for the sake of shipping #understand their relationship. understand them. understand their circumstances. understand their problems their bate their love #them. understand them and how much they need each other. how they keep chasing and chasing and chasing only to run #in circles. anyway what was my POINT. i ront remember 👍👍👍 #i am . so sleepy