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#i will take that upon myself

bunnyhysteria · 1 month

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does anyone wanna talk about how the fandom has hyper projected onto shen yuan and went the mile with at least a leap of interruptation of one line yet turn a blind eye to the rest of canon?

specifically I'm talkin about the broke american college studentification of shen yuan coupled with the fanon that he's chronically ill. these are two beasts of their own and should be tackled differently so I will.

I personally and strongly disagree with how a lot of fanon portrays shen yuan with messy hair, a large hoodie, disgustin room, and general I guess losercore aesthetics lmao. and now I'm even wondering if he was explicitly a college student or if it was just fanon based on that he's at least 20 years old. I feel this is a mental image constructed not from canon, but the idea of what kind of person would be his age and show his behaviour online... from a western perspective.

I believe that he would be far more put together, especially as he is a rich pretty boy in modern china. the difference in acceptable levels of casual, especially for a son of a very wealthy family, are much different between america and china. honestly I do find it a bit sad I wear a slightly frilly button up shirt and a short skirt and suddenly I'm a model in my area but I digress. I definitely think that shen yuan would probably even be actively into street fashion, give how well he seems to take to shen qingqiu's own pretty boy life. I also have a hard time believin that such a low life style person would readily take to the upkeep and demands of life as an immortal master with specialty in the fine arts.

there's also something to say about his resemblance to shen qingqiu (re: mushroom body), as well as I've seen some people claim that shen yuan was tall due to his lack of reaction nor stumbling with his new towering height. while the two adaptions I know if depict him with short hair, I think he could have readily had longer hair as well, maybe shoulder or so length. if "not reacting" is grounds to stand on (which is also used for the chronically ill headcanon), one could reasonably point out he doesn't seem to have any trouble with his now waist length locks. even slowly growing out my hair I'm having shocks to what the life entails, so I can't imagine being fully chill with sudden long hair. however, with the it's modern china argument for fashion, it is most reasonable he'd have short hair.

and yet, despite all this evidence in favour of a distinguished shen yuan ignored, the fandom took his pretty boy waiting to die line and ran with it, hard. I have been told this was due to a fan translation note implying that it could have hinted to chronic illness, and it was instead warped as fact of what the line was trying to say. I've also seen the lack of reaction claim used on him supposedly adjusting very well to living with without a cure, often paralleled to some people's chronic illnesses. this is a fair headcanon and is not really a problem on it's own. I just want to speak my thoughts on it, especially in contrast to the other popular fanon arising from ignoring a fair bit of canon implications and then taking one that most likely was not even in that direction as gospel.

first and foremost, as a disabled person myself, I find a lot of fandom depiction of chronic illness to be very divorced from reality, used to play into the losercore vibe, often just thrown in there with feelin like the creator forgot they gave him a disability only to suddenly write a single sentence goin "look! he's disabled!", and worse of all as if it could be his only justification for wasting his life away on the internet.

I once read a fanfic that seemed to just list a bunch of things he had or did because of his disability in a very list-like way, but a believable combination enough to presume they at least knew someone disabled, only to leave his cane at home after establishing his unamed illness with 50 symptoms could suddenly k.o. him at any time. not only did nothing happen while he was out, I question why someone of his status yet so severely disabled would not have an ambulatory wheelchair.

I also question the lack of mental illness present in many fanfics. this is not only due to that chronic illness does not really exist independently of mental illness, but I feel that shen yuan is canonically very mentally ill. not only is he wasting his life away with no purpose, heavily implied to be neglected, but he immediately accepts and welcomes a foreign life with no consideration of going back. many people write fanfics of shen yuan pressed about his identity and wishing to be seen for him, but as I've noticed and have pointed out to me by others, that's just not the case. there is no canon reveal because there is no identity conflict. he may divorce himself from shen jiu adamantly, but he marries himself quite well to shen qingqiu, readily switchin how to refer to himself near instantly.

I also feel there's something to say about how he's not only welcoming a foreign world, but one with severe danger that he has to face. and what does he do? dissociates like hell. it takes him a couple books before he even sees those around him as people! I also feel that him not even recognizin that he was cryin from literally ripping a chunk of his own leg out until binghe pointed it out speaks volumes. he let binghe rawdog him in a craze with excruciatin pain that literally killed him and was like "yea this is fine ah what do you mean there's a chance binghe might be dead when I get back noo". could even make an argument that his ignorance to his harem is more than just comphet, but also believin that he wouldn't have value to others in that way. his value is his status: a status he didn't earn and has never earned.

I don't know. I feel there's a lot more to shen yuan than the fandom looks at or rather the fandom digs into things that aren't even there as if it's the penacle of his character. I wanna see more exploration of shen yuan as he is rather than what the fandom wants him to be. or at least to me, his pretty rich boy complex feels far more interestin than the hundredth "oh yea he's chronically ill" shoved in for little to no reason other than they can't comprehend his behaviour without it. as if to say "well if only he could physically do other things, he would. he's not like those losers who can't get a grip of themselves." completely ignorin the depths of mental illness they could explore. it feels both saneist and ableist, in different directions. he's only so pathetic because he's physically disabled. that he can't be any other way, otherwise he's just not likeable.

like give him a couple personality disorders to explore his behaviour with or something! show how he's actually so used to playing pretty composed rich boy in public and that's why he so easily slipped into his idea of shen qingqiu! something!! anything!!!

#svsss #shen yuan #text #mine #throwin this into the tags like a heathen #I feel like I'm gonna get myself into hot waters arguin a character shouldn't be depicted as chronically ill especially on the tumblrs #I mean not that he can't be but. at least do it right if yer gonna. don't just do it because you feel like you have to #or accidentally confuse it for canon or look down upon the alternative explainations for his actions #the broke college student chic thing I don't get at all though. that's just wild to me.#at first I accepted both of these things without thought in a consumption way but the moment I stepped into the idea of writing #along with plans to reread and dissect characters with notes #the less what I've already processed on the first run through made sense with fanon and so I dug into why a little bit #mayb I'll have more refined takes on my second read through but this is my current opinion

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variousqueerthings · 7 months

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rewatched the first two nu!who episodes with a friend and gyaaarfh just imagining this old old being that's been traumatised by a genocide and is out of step with who they used to be and deeply lonely and so ready to die to save people, but also has become so dissociated from individual connection and therefore has just forgotten how to be and is presumably just down to sacrifice themself and let it end finally, and then rose tyler smiles at them and they're like "ah yes I do in fact have hope and whimsy and love still in my body, thought I'd never get any of that back, turns out I care about living and stuff"

the power that is rose tyler smiling

#doctor who #dw #rose tyler #that's what she manages to do within two episodes #and the doctor naturally is like 'well i dont need to think about my underlying issues ever again because i have this person'#'what are those sirens so far away? couldn't be danger signals...'#martha alas is like the inverse of that coin #because she gets all the pain and weight put upon her #also so so important that end of the world is that second episode #rose is overwhelmed and sad and the doctor looks at her and is like 'i wish for you not to be these things and i see these things in myself #but then she takes the doctor for chips

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cannibalistic-deer · 3 months

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Everyone arguing over RadioStatic vs. One-sided RadioStatic when you can have both:

RadioStatic that is mutual in that Vox and Alastor are both significant to each other in not-exactly-platonic ways, but Vox has romantic feelings while Alastor is aromantic, so he doesn't feel the same. Not exactly.

Even better worse if Vox feels devastated because he doesn't understand what Alastor means when he tries to explain that he values Vox as more than "just a friend" even though he's not in love with him at all, so Vox thinks Alastor is just fucking with him. Alastor is upset that he can't feel romantic attraction even if he wanted to and can't put his feelings into words, and now he's losing his dearest friend because they have a fight over it.

The amount that they value each other is mutual, but the "romance" is unrequited.

#hazbin hotel #voxal #radiostatic #staticradio #staticlovetune #alastor #vox #I may have written fanfic about this #and think about it frequently #not all aromantics are happy with being aromantic or get to be free of related drama #Alastor feels some kind of tertiary attraction but of course doesn't know there's a word for it or that it's even a thing #I need aroace alastor shipping posts so I am taking it upon myself to start making them #tired of the only aroace alastor content being anti-ship #al broadcast

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crushofdoves · 1 year

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“yeah, sirius black is definitely cis-“

LMAO JK could you imagine?? thinking sirius black of all people is just a cis man?? with his too-big feelings that don’t fit inside his body so he wears heavy chains and delicate earrings - trying to let his anger latch on to makeshift lighting rods so it doesn’t burn him alive from the inside? long hair and chunky boots and thin wrists and closet full of lily’s old skirts and remus’s sweaters?

sirius black who wears lipstick with short skirts that show off his leg hair? who gets off on watching straight people try to figure out what’s in his pants? drunk off the feeling of turning gender in on itself until it takes a shape he can live with? paper-thin tank tops to accentuate his broad shoulders, that lipstick the same brown-pink of remus’s nipples, personality bigger than your boyfriend’s dick and twice as pretty? get REAL

#sorry i’m just thinking about him #they’re so beautiful and i am just obsessed #sirius black #trans sirius #wolfstar #i mean i’m just THINKING #i am taking it upon myself to write the kind of trans wolfstsr fic that y’all deserve

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adrift-in-thyme · 8 months

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Whumptober Day 2: Delirium

Read it on Ao3

- Time, Twilight, & Wild

- Summary: Time comes down with an illness and takes a turn for the worse

CW for delirium, illness and fever, mentions of holding a character down (no one actually gets held down), and a character getting punched

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Twilight sighs as he tugs the blanket a little higher over Time’s shoulder. The older hero shudders, teeth clacking together so hard it’s audible. When the rancher presses a hand to his head, it’s dangerously warm. He pulls away, lips set in a grim line.

“How’s he doing?” Comes Wild’s hushed voice from where he sits by the fire.

Twilight shakes his head. “No better. I think he’s getting worse.”

He sighs again, pressing his fingertips to his temples.

“There’s no need to fuss over me,” Time had assured the two of them only that morning. “I’m alright. It’s likely a cold, nothing more.”

And though his voice had sounded a bit hoarse and he was a little paler than usual, besides that he had seemed like his normal self. So, Twilight had taken him at his word.

…and had had to watch as his condition steadily declined throughout the day. He had tried to make more rest stops and urged the old man to drink during every one. Wild had even offered him a potion, though he had refused it. But their efforts hadn’t been enough. By the time they had found a good stopping place for the night, Time’s gaze had been bleary and unfocused, skin clammy and pale, steps stumbling and heavy.

When Twilight had pulled out his bed mat and ordered him to lie down before he could collapse, his attempts at arguing had fallen pathetically flat. And it hadn’t taken much convincing to get him to let the rancher guide him over to his bed mat. After that, he had swallowed the potion Wild had given him without much complaint.

Since then, he has been sleeping, though restlessly. And with each passing hour, Twilight’s worry has only grown.

Time shifts now, mumbling something about protecting cows and fighting off aliens. Another series of shivers run through him.

Twilight gnaws his lip for a moment, then looks over his shoulder at Wild.

“Hey, do we have any spare rags? I need something cool to put on his head.”

“Yeah, hold on.”

Wild searches in his pouch for a moment, then with a triumphant sound produces a small, worn cloth. Rising, he walks to the nearby stream. When he returns, the cloth is sopping wet with chilled water.

“Thanks,” Twilight says, taking it from him. Gently brushing Time’s hair back, he lays it over his forehead.

The hero shudders at the cool touch and his eye flutters open.

“What…” His gaze flits about the clearing, taking in everything but seeing nothing. “Is-is it time?”

Twilight exchanges an uneasy glance with Wild. Time for what, he isn’t certain. But he shakes his head anyway.

“No, not yet, old man. Go back to sleep.”

Time looks at him, his expression almost pleading. “Why…it-it’s so cold.”

He brings up a hand to pull weakly at the cloth. Twilight grasps his wrist before he can manage to fling it off. Carefully, he guides his hand back down to his side.

“You’ve got a fever. That’s gonna help us break it. So, just leave it there, alright?”

“No, I don’t want to,” Time slurs, stubbornly reaching for it again. “I’s too cold. And it’s wet.”

With an effort, Twilight suppresses a sigh. Little had he thought that caring for his mentor would ever be like caring for the village children.

“Here!” Wild shows up by his side with a bowl of stew in hand. Twilight hadn’t even realized that he had left. “I made dinner. This’ll warm you up!”

With a look of gratitude, Twilight takes the bowl from him. “Yeah, how about you have something to eat? It’ll help you get your strength back too.”

Though Time still looks less than pleased with the whole situation, the promise of warmth seems enough to convince him. He allows them to sit him up and spoon the food into his mouth, swallowing each bite dutifully. But even after he has eaten, he seems little improved. Shivers still rip through his body, his skin is hot to the touch, and he hardly seems aware of what is happening around him.

There is nothing more they can do, however, so Twilight helps him lie back down. Within moments, his eye slides shut and he is asleep once more.

-----------

Twilight volunteers to take the first watch. Wild needs his rest after the difficult day they have endured. Besides, he wants to keep a close eye on his mentor. So, he settles down beneath the shade of a tree a short distance away. And he waits for morning.

The moon is still high in the sky when he hears it. Someone is moving about behind him. The telltale clank of armor plates reaches his ears and he whips around, sword in hand. But there is no monster there. The sight that greets him, however, doesn’t calm him one bit.

Time is sitting upright on a nearby log, trembling fingers working to pull on his gauntlets. His abandoned bed mat lies not far away, masked by a heap of tangled blankets.

Twilight sheaths his sword with a sigh. He had worried something like this might happen. The old man’s fever is dangerously high, after all. But he had dared hope it would break before the inevitable occurred.

“Hey, old man,” he says, gently, and Time’s head jerks upward.

Even in the dim light of the dying fire, his cheeks look flushed, his face pallid. His gaze is as glossy as ever, yet when it meets Twilight’s the intensity of it is almost enough to make him pause.

“He’s coming,” he croaks, in a voice so hoarse Twilight cringes. His throat must be on fire right now.

He takes another step toward him, careful to keep his movements slow.

“Who’s coming?”

Time’s expression hardens further. A shiver tears through him with such intensity that his gauntlet slips from his fingertips and hits the ground. He retrieves it with a growl of frustration.

“Have to prepare…”

“For what?”

“Not what–who.”

Twilight swallows. “Okay, then, who?”

A short way away Wild stirs. With a groan he sits up, rubbing at his bleary eyes.

“What’s goin’ on Twi?”

At the sound of his voice, Time leaps to his feet, looking wildly about the clearing. Twilight rushes forward to catch him before he topples. The older hero tries to shove him off, but he holds on.

“Whoa, take it easy,” he says, patting his arm. “That’s just Wild.”

Time drags in a breath that rattles in his lungs. He looks down at Twilight, an almost crazed look in his eye.

“You must run – both of you. He-he’s coming! I’ll only be able to ho-hold him off for s-so long and…”

He trails off as his words dissolve in a hacking cough.

Wild is on his feet now, fear in his eyes.

“Potion,” Twilight mouths and he nods. Immediately, he ducks down and begins rifling through his pouch.

Twilight turns back to Time, who is still wavering in his grasp. “Whoever it is, we’ll get him, okay? Now, how about you just sit down? You can’t defeat him if you’re flat on your face.”

As gently as possible he pushes Time back onto the log, even as the older hero tries to wrench himself out of his grip. Twilight can feel the panic building steadily within him like water boiling in a kettle. If he can just get him to settle down before it grows out of control…

“You can’t–” The old man gasps, breathless and trembling. “Twi..Twilight…I have to…No!”

Abruptly, he reels back. Before Twilight can react, a fist collides with his face. The rancher stumbles. His grasp slips. With surprising speed, Time lunges for his sword.

“Ganondorf is coming!”

The fear is blatantly visible on his face now, terror audible in his voice. Twilight freezes, hand stopping halfway through its journey to touch his newly bruised cheek.

He’s not the only one with the arm strength of a moblin, apparently.

“Sweet Ordona…”

Time whirls and the rancher is forced to leap out of the way of his sword’s reach.

“Have to get the sages, have to save Zelda…” He takes a stumbling step forward. A particularly violent shudder races through him and the weapon slips from his grip to land with a dull thump on the earthen ground. “Get to the castle….can’t lose this time–all going to die…what a terrible fate…”

Twilight ducks down and snatches Time’s claymore before he can reach for it again. At that moment, Wild scrambles up to his side.

“Here!” He grabs the sword and presses a potion into Twilight’s hands instead. “Lemme get this out of reach and I’ll come help you hold him down.”

Twilight nods. He clenches his hand around the bottle, forcing an inhale through his nose. Time’s words have cut him straight to the core and left him winded and shaky. Never before has he seen the old man this vulnerable, this scared. It just isn’t right, to see his mentor gaze at him like a child seeking refuge from the monsters that stalk the night.

…a child with the world on his small shoulders.

“Time.” His voice trembles the slightest bit and he clears his throat. “I need you to trust me.”

Time freezes before him, teeth chattering, breath coming on haggard half-gasps. He crosses his arms tightly over his chest.

“N-no.” He shakes his head. “Only have three days. The clock resets — e-everything’s over. Have to sta…start again and I can’t…please don’t make me.”

He’s speaking pure nonsense now — at least Twilight desperately hopes that’s what this is — but it’s enough to shatter his heart. What nightmares has the hero endured to inspire a plea like this? What secrets haunt him?

…what regrets?

“Twi,” Wild says from beside him and Twilight forces himself to inhale the breath he had been holding.

“We won’t make you start again,” he says, quietly. “I promise.” Carefully, he holds out the bottle. “But we need you to drink this. It…it will give you strength for the battle.”

The lie tastes ashen in his mouth. He has no other choice though. It’s either this or pin the old man to the ground and by Hylia, he doesn’t want it to come to that.

Time’s eye flits between the proffered bottle and the two heroes in front of him. He shudders again, stumbling a bit.

Twilight dares to take a slow step forward. “Trust us.”

“We only want to help,” Wild chimes in, though his voice is unusually quiet. “You don’t have to fight anyone alone.”

For a long moment, Time merely gazes at them, resigned exhaustion and terror warring across his face. Twilight holds his breath.

And then, slowly, he reaches out. Grasping the bottle, he tips it back. No sooner has he downed the crimson liquid than the tension bleeds from his shoulders. The bottle slips from his hand at the same time that he slumps bonelessly forward.

Twilight is just in time to catch him.

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somethingsketchy3 · 27 days

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hi, im back (nobody noticed i was gone) and im putting my newly acquired anatomy skills to good use :)))

this is just a WIP, but I have every intention of finishing it and then some more because I have 2 years worth of kanthony fanart rattling in my brain that I can FINALLY make

#bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #kate sharma #kanthony #s3 kanthony #i don’t see enough kanthony fanart so im taking it upon myself to fill the void #kathony #is it kanthony or kathony i can’t tell???

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cheese-water · 1 year

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Look. I know most of us have been feeling the Charlie Slimecicle drought after zero qsmp streams, and I’m right here missing him with you. However, we actually know the reason for his absence and, just maybe, see him on our screens once again.

Charlie is a central character in the horror production Generation Loss: The Social Experiments. It is a three-day-long live interactive experience on twitch created and hosted by his good friend Ranboo (tall guy with mask in the Sorry Boys videos). Think of it a kin to The Jerma985 Dollhouse streams but bigger and greater, said by Jerma himself. Along with Charlie and Ranboo, the cast features other creators such as Jerma985, Sneegsnag, and many more that have yet to be announced.

This has been Ranboo’s passion project for almost two years now, and it would mean so much to the cast, crew, and longtime fans as well if you chose to experience it live. It will be streamed on twitch.tv/ranboolive at 6 pm est on May 24, 26, and 28. Generation Loss is described as the biggest event in twitch history, so I hope to see you there ;)

Trigger warnings, merch links, and other information can be found in the twitter thread below: