#i was so blessed

[sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face]

I don't know what compelled me to do this. But back when tumblr seemed like it was ending in 2018. I screen-shotted literally every nice message or words I got on this website. It is basically a giant folder. I craved validation when I was younger for so many reasons. It's definitely not a healthy habit by any means.

But I just re-read them all for the first time in years.

And I'm literally crying.

This place used to be so full. In the darkest periods of my life, it seemed like I had a whole world of kind strangers behind me. The gratitude I have for those people is insurmountable. I'm so overwhelmingly touched. These echoing words from the past.

I think what makes me the most emotional about it. I can count on one hand the people who are still with me. They've mostly migrated to other sites. But god. All these people who are no longer in my life. Whether it be dissolved friendships. Followers simply moving on.

It's just a painful fact of life. Most people in this world aren't going to be permanent fixtures in your life. Some people are simply here just to teach us a life lesson or give us a beautifully unique experience. It's just incredibly heartfelt to see all these people who once supported me. These people moved mountains in my state of mind.

These people believed in me before I did myself.

I lost a good chunk of my audience around 2019. There was a notable decline when people got the idea that when I was finally mentally stable/sober enough, I no longer needed them. That wasn't necessarily true. Everyone in this world wants to be loved.

I just can't help but wonder where these people are now. I lost touch with them so unwillingly more often than not. It's just moving to read the words from people you once considered so vital/important to your being. I hope they know how deeply I appreciated them.

I wouldn't be who I am without their love.

To those who are still with me, you know who you are.

I love you beyond comprehension.

#this world can be beautiful #it just sucks to lose people #life is weird and wonderful #i was so blessed #random thoughts idk #personal

[exoflash]

a concerning amount of witchblr will be like "um actually new years was stolen by europeans from the ancient god scroobus mcdoobus" and then you actually try to research scroobus mcdoobus and it turns out he was invented in the 1940s by a conspiracy theorist who powdered every meal with ketamine and thinks that queer people are reincarnated fish

#brightts ramblings #BEFORE I GET ATTACKED: THIS IS NOT AN ANTI-WITCH OR ANTI-PAGAN POST #im just literally begging witchblr and paganblr(?) to study history from proper sources #so you don't accidentally end up repeating misinfo or even outright bigoted info without realizing #you are not immune to propaganda! #this post is specifically ab new agey stuff like starseeds #but a lot of other stuff fits into this as well ie 'blessed be' #for further context i am not a witch or pagan myself but i DO study the occult/occult history #religion #spirituality #history

[nedlittle]

it drives me bonkers the way people don't know how to read classic books in context anymore. i just read a review of the picture of dorian gray that said "it pains me that the homosexual subtext is just that, a subtext, rather than a fully explored part of the narrative." and now i fully want to put my head through a table. first of all, we are so lucky in the 21st century to have an entire category of books that are able to loudly and lovingly declare their queerness that we've become blind to the idea that queerness can exist in a different language than our contemporary mode of communication. second it IS a fully explored part of the narrative! dorian gray IS a textually queer story, even removed from the context of its writing. it's the story of toxic queer relationships and attraction and dangerous scandals and the intertwining of late 19th century "uranianism" and misogyny. second of all, i'm sorry that oscar wilde didn't include 15k words of graphic gay sex with ao3-style tags in his 1890 novel that was literally used to convict him of indecent behaviour. get well soon, i guess...

#the picture of dorian gray #lit #this is a pointless text post #guess what i read for the first time in the year of our lord 2023 #and yes this is a real review on storygraph that i took a screenshot of. you people are so stupid god bless #girl he literally censored it himself did your edition have 0 introduction or background at all #greatest (s)hits #book discourse

[huachengsromcom]

People call Heaven Official’s Blessing / TGCF a slow burn but Hua Cheng is literally courting Xie Lian like they are DATING. Slow burn who??? They’re sleeping next to each other on straw mats and Xie Lian’s offering to cook him dinner and they’re bantering across THE HOME THEY SHARE like a bunch of desperate hussys

San Lang LEAVES XL WITH A KEEPSAKE OF THEIR TIME TOGETHER SLOW BURN WHOMST

They have A DATE in HC’s armoury where they HOLD HANDS and XL pets San Lang’s quivering sword I-

Hua Cheng basically throws himself at this man he’s like you want a sword?? All of them ?? You want ALL THE SWORDS?? Fuck it take the whole room THE WHOLE ROOM JUST COME VISIT I WILL CLEAN THEM FOR YOU

Like he isn’t the king of a whole realm with shit to do

And this is just the first half of the first book—again I ask the world SLOW BURN WHOMST

#this is half in jest #but #I know some people don’t count it as “real until they kiss but THIS is honestly so gay of them #it’s in the subtext it’s in everything THAT ISNT a kiss #it’s so queer #Hua Cheng is ALL IN XL is just too innocent to Grasp It #XL is saying “come round to my tiny shack whenever sleep on my mat with me BEST FRIEND I will be your home” and HC is SUFFERING #the armoury scene is favourite of the entire thing #I was like my brother in Christ HAVE YOU NO SHAME #and knew immediately I would love him forever #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #mxtx tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #she’s being unhinged again

[xiewho]

the dice are trying to tell a story and maybe the story is simply that gorgug fucking kicks ass, dude

#SOOO MANY CRITS??? #like genuinely what is his deal !! #zac's dice were blessed to the HEAVENS today holy shit #GORGUG U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO MEEEEE #fhjy #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #gorgug thistlespring #im so busy but i will find time to draw.....gnawing at the bars of my enclosure......

[bishy437]

he won

bonus:

#oi oi don’t steal my tags i see u 🫵 #svsss #mdzs #moshang #hualian #bingqiu #sqq u spoilt brat #binghe is def the best cook out of the three gongs i’m not saying this lightly #we know lwj can cook from the extras and i can only assume hc can cook bc the only thing he CANT do is write BUT: #xl enjoys cooking so ofc hc is gonna let him express himself culinarily #and wwx is a spice fanatic weirdo who wants to go live his m!lf dreams into the sunset #lwj will not get in the way of that #sqq however is perfectly content having bingmei cook his meals forever and never stepping into a kitchen #scum villian self saving system #scum villain #mo dao zu shi #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #wangxian #mine #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #wei wuxian #lan wangji #xie lian #hua cheng #shang qinghua #mobei jun

[anniilaugh]

”When we’re together, we have no weakness. No vulnerability. We perfect each other.”

aka @wellship 's ”20 Year Waltz” and their ”The God with no back” concept lives in my head rent free and forever loved💚

#the god business is a work in progress but hey if it works #zosan #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #zoro #sanji #one piece #the god with no back #20 year waltz #the quote is SO GOOD bless you Landeg #fanart inspired by a fanart hehe #anniinart #traditional art #omg I inked something!! #kinda missed my brushpen not gonna lie #how gay can I make this? ...........yes.

[biboomerangboi]

Saw something about Hua Cheng always being able to sense his ashes so he can always sense Xie Lian and I just think it adds a hilarious take to him giving Xie Lian his ashes. Like yes it’s a beautiful and romantic ghostly tradition but there is something so funny about him given them to him the moment he has to leave so he doesn’t lose him again after 800 years of searching like someone tagging a bird to track their migration habits. He is not taking no fucking chances.

#he is not taking the risk #I wouldn’t either tbf #like yes obviously this is a sad really romantic reason after thier separation #But Xie Lian is so pigeon coded that it’s just funny too #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heavens official blessing #heaven official's blessing #zees 2am text posts

[crimsonrain-spirits]

xianle trio,,,,,,i love them dearly,,,,

#first actual tgcf fanart i've made in a while oh boy #maybe i'll make more :) #ANYWAY SCREAMING AND CRYING AND THROWING UP I LOOOOOVEEEE THESE IDIOTS #THEY'RE SO. MWAH #also im ngl i didn't really know which designs to use so i kinda just. did a fusion + my own thing LMAO apologies if it looks off #<3 #art #my art #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #tgcf fanart #heaven officials blessing #heaven officials blessing fanart #fanart #xianle trio #mu qing #feng xin #xie lian #mxtx

[eyes-of-nine]

pls assume i'm thinking about this moment 24/7 all week every week

#ahsjgdh i love the young xianle quartet sm they're almost barely not traumatized...kinda #they're very silly especially in retrospect #aaa i do also really want to draw young xie lian and mu qing but the idea of rendering that much gold detailing sounds like hell ywy #i'll do it but christ alive #my art #fanart #tgcf #tgcf fanart #tgcf spoilers #technically #also i haven't read past book 3 for now ywy #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #feng xin #hua cheng #...he gets one tag bc i'm not keeping track of all the aliases #every time i draw hc his hair gets worse and worse #my man has not seen a hairbrush in the past 800 or so years of his existence

[atherea]

SHE HAS THE RAIL‼️‼️

#GUYS SHE #SHES SO CUTE #nvm she fuckin 'blessed' me w strife 💀💀 #still cute tho #i wonder if we'll see the rest of the infernal arms in the game #hades 2 #hades 2 spoilers #tuna plays hades ii #eris hades #eris

[myrkulitescourge]

the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me

just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.

like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.

in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.

how am i supposed to act normal about this.

#i need to lay down #just drop this in there right at the beginning why not! #that’s INTENSE. and completely sincere considering his demeanor at the party. god #he’s so… nice. in the romanced epilogue. i expected him to be a little smug and jokey #if tav told him the others weren’t doing so hot without the two of them around #but he takes it so genuinely and with visible disappointment?? literally shocked me #i thought he would say oh of course their lives have taken a turn without our impressive leadership lol! #and then redirect into something a little less flippant #but man. he just gets sad. astarion six months into a loving relationship is like a stray cat that instantly gets cuddly when you adopt it #dude went cotton candy marshmallow saccharine sweet in a HEARTBEAT #bless the others with your presence he says. i’ll always be here he says. we have forever after all he says. #head in my hands. how could they do this to me #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion #bg3 epilogue spoilers #bg3 spoilers #baldur’s gate 3 spoilers #bg3

[leverage-ot3]

#biblically accurate eliot spencer #eliot spencer #leverage #leverage redemption #humor #memes #eliot spencer memes #mine #guys guys GUYS #I JUST FIGURED OUT THAT YOU CAN MAKE SPEECH BUBBLES DIRECTLY ONTO THE PHOTOS APP #I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE NOW #NO MORE PHOTOSHOP MIX APP CRASHING EVERY TWO MINUTES I FEEL BLESSED #movelikekeithrichards #this isn’t even a queue post. I got so excited I had to post it immediately

[soyochii]

No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to you. 🦋🏮

#hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #heaven official's blessing #tgcf #i read all 8 books in 5 days #guys they are so hozier coded #from eden and work song is basically them #wow devotion as a trope rly hits 😭😭😭 #my art

[minryll]

800 years to be held by him again

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven officials blessing #hualian #天官赐福 #xie lian #hua cheng #hong er #my hand slipped #I NEED TO PRACTICE DRAWING BACKGROUNDS SO BAD #suprisingly enough #it’s the hair that gave me the most trouble this time #i know hong er’s bandage is on wrong just shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #hua cheng may be dead but xie lian’s body heat is enough to warm both of them

[minimiffy]

#cute things #cutecore #sweet girl #pinkcore #bunny #bunnies #cute bunnies #kawaiicore #blessed images #cute bunny #so cute #i wish i was a bunny #bunnies of tumblr #animals of tumblr