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queenunderthatmountain · 8 months

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Literati endgame?

okay but i really didn't get why everyone hated the gilmore girls ending because for me it seems like a Jess and Rory endgame is actually quite possible (and likely).

Okay, so we know only that she's with Logan's baby.

But (sorry team Logan) it seems kinda clear that she's not gonna end up with him. First of all, I think her being lost and suddenly becoming pregnant on accident is an obvious parallel to Lorelei, so it makes sense to me she's gonna be a single mother for a while. Even more so, because Logan and Christopher are soo much alike. (yes Logan is much older and more mature then Christopher was at 16 but Chris was a shitty dad way longer).

And if you were able to look past Logans red flags in gilmore girls (sleeping with like 4 different people right after allegedly breaking up, looking down on people with less money, being a dick towards Jess for no reason) after AYITL I don't think anyone can deny that he's just not a great guy who cheats on his fiance with no remorse whatsoever. So yeah, I actually dont know if he would want to be in the kids and rorys life, but I just dont think it would work out either way.

So now to Jess.

Yes, you can have a different interpretation, but to me he just looked at Rory not only lovingly but with so much longing and even pain in his eyes that its obvious hes not over her and still in love.

Hes appeared when Rory was lost before, when she drOpped out if yAle and later, when she was without job or underwear. Jess had the idea with the book as well, so he kind of guided her towards a new path, I cant imagene him not taking part in the process of her book writing. She was so exited to show him the first three chapters, I think she would want to include him later as well, or maybe ask him for advice as a writer (maybe he'd be the publisher?).

So I definitely belive it's realistic for him to still be in her life, and maybe support her with her kid in some ways (like Luke?)

And now to Rory.

I do think it was right for her to move on after he left, but it always felt so incomplete to me, I was so sure they'd get back together a second time, sometime after him telling her he loves her. I truly believe they are soulmates, in the way that they understand each other better than anyone else, like the same things, have so much in common. Hes was very troubled and disturbed when they were dating, but he was the only boyfriend who really worked on himself (Logans not sleeping around doesnt count) and changed.

And while I am sure she did love Jess, it just doesnt feel right that she never said it back. Yes we got "might have loved you" but idk thats just not enough.

They were dating for such a short time compared to the others, did not even have sex (which could make a relationship appear more serious) yes they had this incredible connection, they still care so much about each other and immediately talk like they used to, even when they havent spoken in years.

So yeah, I think the timing was never right, at first Jess was too troubled, then Rory was in love with Logan, but I really do believe that not only did she always love him, i think a part of her was always IN love with him.

Now, that their lifestyles could sympathize I think she would see that, and no way he'd be like "yeah sorry too late". They needee their time, like Lorelei and Luke, but in the end I see them.

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fandomtrashgoeshere · 3 years

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Ok, so it’s been a long time since the Gilmore girls revival on Netflix, and an even longer time since the show ended, but I’m still mad. So this has probably all been said about the revival, and specifically Rory in it, but I want to say it anyway.

I have heard that the Rory storyline was what the original writer ASP wanted to do for the last season of Gilmore girls, and I understand that she wanted to see that through. But it just didn’t work. She probably had intentions for Lorelai and Emily for the last season too, but obviously changed and adapted them bc of the death of Richard (I can’t recall the actors name, but RIP he was a wonderful Richard) and ended up with a really fucking good storyline for the two characters his death most impacted. I loved everything about Emily’s storyline, seeing her in jeans was mind blowing. I also loved Lorelai’s storyline, although Paris working in the fertility clinic was just wrong. I didn’t like that for her. And you wouldn’t see her for that, you’d see a doctor who specialises in fertility services so idk why ASP thought to put her in that setting, so weird. Anyway, Lorelai coming to terms with her own experiences as a parent and relationship with her father coming to an end, was amazing. The phone call on the mountain? Amazing.

But fucking Rory. My biggest issue, honestly, isn’t that she was whiny and annoying and entitled, although she was and that’s shitty. It’s that she was going through the same things as part of her character ark that she’s already fucking been through in the show.

She already had an affair with someone who was in a committed relationship (Dean) and was visibly disgusted and upset with herself when she realised what she’d done. Then she goes and does the same shit with Logan? With like, seemingly no remorse? We’ve been through this Rory, that’s not who you want to be. Not to mention the boyfriend she keeps forgetting. There was no need for that, it wasn’t funny and just made Rory look like a bitch.

Then the shit with her work ethic. Many people have commented on how out of character it is for Rory to not do her research before a job interview, not be all in on her work in general. Absolutely correct, the Rory we know from earlier seasons was determined, hard working and always went the extra mile. If she’s struggling to get a foothold in the journalism industry, show her working her ass off trying to make it work and then finally finding her niche when she starts writing about the privileged elite world she was half a part of or something. Not this half ass bullshit the show gave us. We’ve already seen her crisis about whether she wants to do journalism when she quit Yale. That was her soul searching year, when she worked out who she was and what she wanted to do. She wouldn’t turn around and be all lazy and entitled about her work after that. This is the girl that always wanted to get into Yale on her own merit, to not get special treatment at her internship bc of Logan. We’ve seen this shit.

If I was queen of the world and got to write rory’s storyline for a year in the life, I would have made her have a good job at a good publication, (like someone as talented as she is would likely have years after graduating from fucking YALE) but she’s burning out because she works so hard and so much. No time for friends, relationships, and eventually she crashes and burns. Then she takes time off, thinks she’ll write the book she’s always wanted to write. No inspiration, tries many drafts but nothing is right, until she writes the Gilmore girls. I’d also have her end up with Jess but that’s just because I love him and they’re soulmates and I won’t be convinced otherwise.

Anyway Rory isn’t a shit person she just copped a shitty storyline rant over.

#gilmore girls #literati #rory x jess #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #emily gilmore #a year in the life #ASP what are you doing #still mad #staying mad

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reputayswift · 4 years

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Ever since I saw your exile literati gifset I cant get over how cyclical their relationship is! They really have seen this film before!! Why do you think Rory keeps coming back to Jess especially when she’s in a relationship with someone else?

Hey there! First off, thank you for checking out my Exile edit, I appreciate that a lot :) Secondly, this question sent me into an analytical spiral which is why you’re getting a response a few days late lol! I wanna preface this by saying that I’ve read a LOT of GG takes so anything I’m about to say has probably definitely been said more eloquently and concisely by someone else. Also I’m not going to get into comparing the boyfriends specifically because 1. I’ve watched the Jess eps more than any other so I don’t feel knowledgeable enough to talk on the other bfs 2. Conflict scares me :)

Okay so!

1. My (Somewhat) Reasonable Answer

I think they have a certain level of understanding that draws them back towards each other. I know Jess saying he “knows [Rory] better than anyone” in s6 is pretty controversial in the fandom (and I would never say Jess’s connection with Rory is deeper than her and, say, Lorelai’s) but that theme of “knowing”/mutual understanding crops up a lot for them (I’ve also seen a quote floating around from the writers saying they were intended to have a “meeting-of-the-minds” situation going on but all the sources I found for that were from Tumblr so not sure on the legitimacy of that).

Aside from both being bookworms they’re also both dealing with having others’ narrow expectations placed on them. The people of Stars Hollow (and in Jess’s case, his mother as well) reduce them to archetypes/caricatures of themselves (Town Sweetheart, Bad Boy). We see this pretty clearly when Taylor takes issue with Rory not wanting to play “Ice Cream Queen” once she sets her sights on college and Rory being hailed as the (literal) “poster-child of censorship.” Early on Jess susses out that Rory’s not exactly pleased with having this role forced on her (when Rory complains that her censorship poster is “stupid” Jess responds that “it’s the people who are stupid” and switches around the movie discs to get it taken down), which is one of our first glimpses at this understanding/peeling-back-their-images theme.

Teach Me Tonight has probably some of the most obvious examples of this. When Rory asks Jess why he’s not planning on attending college (when she knows that he’s more than capable, despite his lack of effort in school) he says:

“Ask my mother, she could give you a couple reasons. Oh, and I’m sure Principal Merton can chime in with a few good ones. In fact, ask your mother. She doesn’t know me all that well but I’m sure she could improvise a few things.”

Notice his response has everything to do with others’ uninformed expectations and nothing to do with his own desires! Then we have Rory saying her dream is to be an overseas correspondent and Jess initially thinking it sounds “a little too rough for [her]” (going off of that gentle Town Sweetheart assumption) then immediately pushing that away and assuring her she’ll do it.

Then we have Lorelai’s Graduation Day/The New York ep which is a huge turning point for their relationship! This whole interaction when Rory boards the bus back home really emphasizes the breaking-through-expectations point:

“Why did you come here?... I mean, you ditched school and everything. That's so not you. Why'd you do it?”

“Because, you didn't say goodbye.”

“Oh...Bye, Rory.”

Especially in conjunction with Rory’s confusion regarding her own actions after the fact:

“This is not who I am. If I were to write this down in my diary and I would read it, I would be like, Who is this freak? This isn't me.This isn't my diary. I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't skip school when I have finals coming up to go see a guy that isn't even my guy and end up missing my mother's graduation, which I wanted to be at so badly. That's someone else. That's someone flighty and stupid and dumb and girly.”

So we not only have Rory going against her own responsible schoolgirl image, but also Rory breaking through Jess’s assumption that people expect/desire him to leave (not caring enough for a warning or explanation). My friend @sanssa has a great post expanding on this better than I ever could :)

Alright so! The controversial s6 “WHY DID YOU DROP OUT OF YALE?” ep! Jess showing up (denim jacket, tousled hair, sparkly eyes...) having finally harnessed his own smarts with a published book is perhaps the perfect example of how the Jess x Rory relationship empowers them to seek out their own desires despite expectations:

“Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around, you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it.”

“I know you did...I just basically wanted to show you that. Uh, tell you...tell you that I couldn't have done it without you.”

Fast-forward to their mid-dinner argument, where Jess says:

“I know you better than anyone. This isn't you...What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place, being in the DAR, no Yale — Why did you drop out of Yale?!

You could (and many have!) argue that this wasn’t his place to interfere (if you’re not invested in Jess I can completely understand how having the boyfriend with the least screen-time show up — tousled and sparkly as he may be — to tell her he knows her best and she’s — in kinder words — wasting her life away would have you saying “Who’s this guy?” lol) but when you look at their history of pushing past each others’ fronts and get to Rory’s resulting realization;

“[Jess is] doing something...I’m not. I mean, what am I doing? I'm living with my grandparents... I'm palling with my grandmother and being waited on by a maid. I come home, and my shoes are magically shined. My clothes are magically clean, ironed, and laid out. My bed is magically turned down. I'm in the DAR? I'm going to meetings and teas and cocktail parties?... And wasting my time partying and drinking, just hanging out doing nothing,”

I personally interpret it as him telling her a hard truth she was shielding herself from accepting. And of course we see his intervention in-part sets off her reconnecting with Lorelai and getting back on track with her schooling/dreams, in much the same way Rory pushing past his “no one expects anything of me so I’m going to do nothing with my life” assumption motivates him to pursue writing more seriously.

Then finally we get to the Revival where Jess finds Rory in a slump again and encourages her to write a book about her and her mother:

“Where is this coming from? What inspired you?”

“I was frustrated. I was talking to Jess —”

...

“Last night I outlined the first five chapters just like that. That’s a sign...This is it, this is what I’m supposed to do.”

TL;DR: They understand each other in a way that lets them see past others’ assumptions/expectations to the true, complicated them in a way that empowers them to follow their dreams and be better versions of themselves

2. My Extremely Biased Hopeless Romantic Answer

There’s some sort of soulmate/red string of fate thing going on, Alexa play Invisible String

#ask hall of fame #otp: ernest only has lovely things to say about you #useless rambles with tay #literati #ty to Maayan aka lorelaigilmo for patiently proofreading this for me <3 #imagine if I put this much effort into something useful!

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dodgergilmore · 4 years

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YAS give me more jess/rory analysis PLEASE ❤

I ended up expanding on my season 3 thoughts in another post, so I’ll just ramble on about something different if we’re all good with that!

Let’s discuss how “You could do more.” is, in some ways, the thesis of the whole Rory and Jess dynamic.

When Rory is not amused by his magic trick during one of their very first interactions (what a sentence lmao), it shows that she isn’t going to put up with the facade he puts on in Stars Hollow. She doesn’t shy away from speaking her mind and pushes him to take responsibility for his actions:

“All [Luke] does is stick up for you, and all you do is make his life harder. I guess that's what you have to do when you're trying to be Holden Caulfield, but I think it stinks. (...) Funny, I never pegged you as clueless, my mistake.”

Again, Rory points out the act Jess puts on but this also shows how she isn’t going to just passively allow him to act in such ways because she doesn’t see him as the nuisance/lost cause that much of the town sees him as. Instead, she holds him to a higher standard because she knows he isn’t clueless.

After a well-intentioned suggestion on Rory’s part, we see her at odds with the expectations placed on her by the town as she becomes “the poster girl for censorship” and she can openly discuss this with Jess as someone who would understand where she’s coming from, because he is one person who is not charmed by Stars Hollow’s small town antics. Her future isn’t bound to this place, so when Jess questions what Rory and Dean talk about, saying that ‘he doesn’t seem like her kind of guy’ it adds another layer to that conversation; let’s be real, Jess is not coming from a place of entirely pure intentions but after season 1, Dean is basically the town’s golden boy (despite previously being the new kid in town) and thus is the embodiment of one of the two worlds Rory is caught between throughout the series: Stars Hollow. But right from the Pilot, we know that Rory is set to “do more” than Stars Hollow. That whole sidestory in 2x12 and its relation to Rory could be an analysis of its own, which I don’t think I am equipped to offer at this time...

By 2x13, Rory is pushing against and growing frustrated with Lorelai’s view of Jess. Rory recognises that Jess should not need a tutor, after trying to explain his margin-writing to Lorelai in the previous episode, and it’s clear that Rory believes in Jess in a way that he himself does not at this point. He meets her words of encouragement and “you could do more” with cynicism but Rory remains unconvinced. Schooling should not be a measure of success – and by season 6 it ends up being beside the point anyway – but it is interesting that Jess’ reasoning for not going to college has nothing to do with himself and everything to do with what others have to say about him.

And why aren’t you going to college? (...)

Ask my mother, she could give you a couple reasons. Oh, and I’m sure Principal Mertin can chime in with a few good ones. In fact, ask your mother. She doesn’t know me all that well but I’m sure she could improvise a few things.

Do not give me that whole ‘I’m so misunderstood, Kurt Cobainy’ thing. You are way stronger than that and I don’t even wanna hear it.

That whole conversation in the car really is The Goods. The paths they have planned for themselves could not be more different but still, they offer each other the same unwavering support and encouragement.

I wont go into detail because I think I’ve already addressed this in my previous posts today but “you could do more” comes into play even during their relationship in that Jess, as we know, does not generate the most positive views from the people of Stars Hollow, perhaps believing that Rory could do more, so to speak, than him. If nothing else, the town definitely thinks so.

Jess shows support for Rory’s Harvard-and then-Yale dreams, which is one of many reasons his reappearance in 6x08 works so well. He assumes she graduated early before considering she wasn’t in school; when Rory keeps commenting on how her circumstances are “all temporary” Jess is visibly... I don’t know that I’d say concerned at this point but he is definitely taken aback.

I know it's good. Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around, you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it.

I know you did. (...) So, I just basically wanted to show you that. Uh, tell you... tell you that I couldn't have done it without you.

Obviously Jess is confirming her “you could do more” sentiments when he explicitly credits the role she played in helping him find success for himself. In doing so, this reassures Rory that she was right about something after feeling the defeat of Mitchum’s words for however many months by this point, and also reminds her of the ambitions she once had for herself.

Neither of them do or say these sort things for “I want to be with you” reasons but for “I want good things for you” reasons. It doesn’t come from a romantic place – they sincerely want the other to succeed, even if that means being apart. Even after everything that happened, Rory is saying “I hope you're good. I want you to be good.” in that 3x22 phone call, and then this in 6x08:

You know that section toward the front, the staff recommendations? I'm gonna grab a copy of your book and put it in that section, and then I'm going to write my own little recommendation on a card and attach it so people see it and buy it.

Please, that’s just cute :(

Of course it ends up ending in absolute MESS but she goes all the way to Philadelphia to see his open house. Imagine if she hadn’t checked the mail that day lmao

I just got the flier, and I don't know. I just wanted to see your place, but then this...

In AYITL, Jess hears Rory out as she divulges the state her life is in then reassures her that she’s in a rut that she is fully capable of getting out of. “Where is this coming from? What inspired you?” indeed. The implications, y’know??

Now I’m going to circle back to what I said about Dean representing Stars Hollow for a moment here. Logan very overtly represents the world of wealth and like I said, Rory is between these two worlds. Rory is a balance of the world of her grandparents and her mother; what’s interesting about Jess is that he doesn’t belong to either world, really. He can exist in the world of Stars Hollow because of his familial connections and history there and that brings us some little moments that are not at all deep, but I absolutely love anyway:

Can't wait to hear how you bagged the job.

It was the usual thing; I submitted my resume, plus samples of my work, I was thoroughly vetted, there were several lengthy interviews, plus complex negotiations over salary, benefits, parking–

You asked Taylor.

Pretty much.

And then when he asks Rory over the phone to fill him in on the ‘showbiz spat’ in 3x14. Stars Hollow has an important role in Rory’s life, and Jess is able to understand that world in a way that Logan simply can’t – if I recall, he is actually quite endeared by the town when he makes his first official visit there in season 7.

Season 5 makes Dean’s place in Rory’s life very clear, first with “What am I doing here, Rory? I don't belong here. Not anymore.” in 5x08 and then in 5x18, when Dean is used as a direct parallel to Luke:

They want more than this. Don’t you see that? And all you are is this. (...) This town, it’s all you are, and it’s not enough. She’s going to get bored, and you can’t take her anywhere. You’re here forever.

It’s... kind of an odd comparison to make in that Lorelai is quite happy with her Stars Hollow life and hasn’t indicated that she wants “more” than this. For Rory, though, it does reiterate that she wants more than Stars Hollow can offer her. I’ve discussed this before but the world of wealth and Logan, while initially intriguing to Rory, loses its shine during season 6 and she ultimately rejects it in that she doesn’t want to be bound by it. It offers temporary thrills and escapism, but she ends up having to enter the real world.

In Summer, Rory talks about looking at places in Queens so that might be the best, most recent indicator of where Rory wants to be in terms of geography. Just like Rory, Jess isn’t bound to any particular world – bouncing around from place-to-place in the original series, not unlike Rory in the revival – and together... they can do more. And that is that on soulmate-ism!

All in all, they hold each other to high standards not because they idealise one another or put each other on pedestals but because they genuinely believe in each other’s capabilities. They actively push each other to do more and important to note is that they hear each other in these moments; maybe not always immediately but they get there eventually because by the end, it’s clear they have a certain respect and fondness for each other. I like that they don’t passively roll along with whatever the other chooses to do, which may be the very reason some people don’t like them. As much as their dynamic evolves with time, there are just some things that remain a constant...

#ask #somekindofhelicoptervalentine #literati #~you could do more #barely even mention them but i'll tag anyway:#anti dean #anti logan

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welcometophu · 6 years

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Not Your Love Song: Chapter 25

Marked Book 2: Not Your Love Song

Chapter 25

[ Previous | First | Next ]

Rory’s phone pings as he reaches the door to Minnisale’s. He opens the text from Kit: a picture of himself and Serina, obviously taken as a selfie by Serina. She is smiling cheerfully, her cheek pressed against his as he leans toward her. Kit looks more serious, his hair carefully combed and styled, his black jacket and vest a dark counterpoint to his bright red shirt.

We’re here. I feel bad that I’m not looking forward to this, Kit sends with it.

Being in the position of offering relationship advice—or non-relationship advice—to Kit is even more awkward than before.

Were you looking forward to it before you broke up and everything got complicated? Rory asks. When Kit replies with a yes, Rory adds, Was that because you were looking forward to spending time with her, or the event itself?

The reply is slow coming. Dots appear and disappear.

A rap against the window catches Rory’s attention. When he glances over, Jess is sitting right there, her hand raised in greeting. She gestures, and Rory realizes that they’re all seated at a table at the front of the restaurant. Which means they’re watching him linger outside and text.

Great. He’s making such a good impression.

Both, Kit finally replies.

Rory waves back at Jess, then points at his phone and holds up two fingers. He won’t be long, but he doesn’t really feel like explaining what he’s doing if someone comes looking for him, either. He steps closer to the door, so it’s a little less like they’re somehow reading over his shoulder.

Then it should be easy, Rory tells him. You can still enjoy the event, and you’re still friends with Serina, right? So you can still have fun together. It’s the exact same thing, except without the kissing. You can even hold hands, and dance.

You make it sound easy.

Rory laughs to himself, because it’s so much easier to talk about it being easy than it is to actually live it. I’m about to go to dinner with Jess and Shane, along with Darrik, Ally, and Jonathan. You are not the only one living in a world of awkward tonight.

The dots appear and disappear, rapidly cycling until the words good luck finally come through, and nothing more.

Yeah. Everything is awkward.

Rory locks his phone and walks in. When the hostess greets him, he points to the table and she waves him through. Shane’s seated at the end of the table, his crutches propped against the window by Jess, and his leg stuck out straight into the aisle. Rory has to slip between them to take the remaining chair at the table, and he ends up squished in the middle, across from Ally.

“Hey,” he greets them. He awkwardly manages to get his jacket off, and throws it over the back of his chair. He tucks his legs back, trying to figure out a way not to knock into anyone under the table. At his height, it won’t be easy.

Jonathan’s gaze narrows. “Right. You’re the guitar player. That’s why I know you.”

“I think you know my brother better,” Rory deadpans. Ally claps a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh as Jonathan’s cheeks go red. Rory waves a hand, erasing the topic. “The whole music thing isn’t a big deal right now. I’m not here because of Phoenix Rising. I’m here because we want to try again to reach Lora, and you guys all kind of care about that.”

“If it weren’t for Noah loving your band, we wouldn’t have this chance to try to reach Lora, so it’s at least a little about Phoenix Rising,” Ally points out. She glances at Darrik, who is staring at the napkin and silverware on the table.

Definitely awkward.

“Isn’t there another one of you?” Jonathan asks, gesturing to Jess, Rory, and Shane. “I thought it was three guys doing this thing, not two guys and a girl.”

“First, you could be totally misgendering me,” Jess points out, and from the way Jonathan jerks back, Rory gets the feeling she kicked him under the table. “Although you’re not wrong. I’m not Kit, I’m Jess. I’m Shane’s best friend and ride, and a consultant on the project.”

That’s the first Rory’s heard of Jess’s new role, but he can roll with it. “Kit’s got an event with his sister’s sorority house tonight,” Rory says, his voice carefully even. “He’s still working with us on this, and he’s still a central part of it. He’s had some good ideas about how we can reach Lora, and he’s the one who was able to reach out during our last attempt. Even though he’s busy, we wanted to talk about it with all of you tonight, because if we do reach her, Lora’s going to need some kind of support.”

The muscle in Jonathan’s jaw twitches. “Do you really think you can do it?”

“Reach her? Or wake her up?” Shane asks. “I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to do the first. The second might be all her in the end. No one seems to really know what’s keeping her unconscious.”

“Do you think there’s a way to figure that out?” Ally asks.

“If it’s magical, probably.” There’s a part of Rory that wonders if he should be bringing in more experienced Mages. But they’ve got Pawel on their side, and while Pawel may not have the same knowledge as years of community living, like Rory’s family, he’s certainly got a good breadth of information. “Step one is getting to her, though,” he says. “And we’re close on that. We would’ve been closer, except—”

“I tripped.” Shane’s expression is rueful. “Jess has a theory.”

Darrik looks up, brow furrowed. “Oh?”

When Rory tries to meet his gaze, Darrik doesn’t look at him, attention pinned on Jess instead.

“Sometimes things happen around Shane,” Jess says quietly. Shane huffs, and she jabs a finger at him. “No, you don’t get a say in this,” she says. “I had an idea after we were talking about music and math and chaos theory, and I sat Shane down later and wrote up some charts. I couldn’t stop thinking about what we’d talked about last time we were all together, about how magical ritual has an expected result, like math. And when math changes, you can predict how the result will change. And that’s similar to magic. Change a variable in a ritual, and you should be able to guess what will happen. Unless something, or someone, introduces chaos.”

“Not a Mage,” Ally says. “So I don’t understand—how could someone introduce chaos?”

“Normally they can’t. Not on purpose.” Jess glances at Shane. “Sometimes things happen. Like these shadows that appear—we can’t control them, and we don’t account for them in rituals, so if one pops in, there could be an unexpected result. But that’s not the kind of chaos that happened here; this wasn’t an outside interference. So, I got to thinking—what if someone’s innate Talent was chaos?”

“Sometimes things happen,” Rory says slowly.

“Around me. Yeah.” Shane smiles ruefully, shrugs one shoulder. “Not just during rituals. I’m accident prone. I get hurt a lot. I heal really slowly; unusually slowly enough that I’ve worked with Healers who think I may have something magically blocking my healing. And sometimes rituals go sideways. This wasn’t the first time something’s happened.”

Rory has a vague memory of Shane mentioning this before, but it didn’t seem important at the time. He wonders if it’s one of those things that comes up and gets forgotten because magic just wants it forgotten. He brings out the notebook he brought and writes down in large block letters Shane brings Chaos. He doesn’t want to forget again.

Closing the notebook, Rory says, “If we know it’s an issue ahead of time, we can plan around it.”

“I have some detailed charts cross-referencing activities—both magical and otherwise—from the last couple of years and the chaotic effects Shane has had on them,” Jess tells him. “It’s a long list. And it was longer than I remembered, once we both started going through everything we remembered. Then Ángel remembered more, and Hayley had even more to add. It felt like we’ve been somehow overlooking this variable for rituals that Shane takes part in. But if we can look at how the chaos has interfered in the past, we should be able to work around it going forward.”

“Jess is officially our magical mathematician now,” Shane says.

“It was an eye-opener for Ángel and Hayley,” Jess says quietly, watching Rory. “Because Shane took part in their ritual, we have to assume that at least part of what happened there was due to his chaotic influence.”

“Ángel and Hayley had different soulmates,” Shane says firmly. “That was going to happen no matter what.”

“But it might not have reached out and affected you and me as well,” Rory says. He puts his arm out, wrist up, on the table. “The original ritual for Ángel and Hayley was targeted. It would have given them the clouded soulmarks, but it shouldn’t have happened to us.”

Ally’s gaze flicks from Rory’s wrist to Darrik. Jonathan’s lips press together thinly, his attention focused on Shane.

Darrik stares at Rory’s wrist.

“So, what you’re saying is that having him involved might endanger Lora,” Jonathan says darkly.

“No. What I’m saying is that having him involved means having me involved as well, to figure out how to use his chaos in a productive manner,” Jess says firmly. “Which is why I’m not taking part—I’m not a Mage—but I’m consulting. We’re working math into this magic.”

Rory flexes his fingers, and Darrik sits back. With his arms crossed and closed-off expression, Darrik has his armor in place. Rory reaches across, turning his hand so his ink is mostly hidden. “Darrik. Can we talk?”

One eyebrow arches. “I thought we’d decided text would be easier.”

Rory has to smile at that. “It was. Is,” he admits. “But we’re here.”

“You don’t have to,” Ally says, but Darrik shrugs off her touch to his shoulder as he rises.

“I’ll be fine.” He glances across at Rory. “We’ll be fine. This isn’t his fault, or mine, not entirely.”

Rory pushes his own chair back, eases out past Shane, taking care not to hit his outstretched leg. When Rory offers his hand to Darrik, he’s almost surprised when Darrik takes it and lets Rory lead them both outside.

Once out the door, Rory lets go of Darrik. He turns away from the window where their group sits, and walks down the street. He shoves his hands deep in his pockets, and watches as Darrik crosses his arms again. It’s too cold to be out without a jacket, but Rory wasn’t thinking clearly when they left.

“I’m sorry,” Rory says quietly, and Darrik huffs at that.

“We’ve both said that already,” Darrik points out. “And we mean it. But we also both knew what we were getting into.” His jaw is tight, the stubble thicker than Rory remembers it earlier that week. It’s bordering on a full beard now, although neatly trimmed enough that Rory thinks it’s on purpose and not just that Darrik’s letting himself go with grief.

“It’s all still kind of a mess,” Rory says. He shivers in the stiff breeze that slides down the narrow street, like a wind tunnel. “Kit and I are barely speaking. He’s at a thing with Serina right now, but they broke up before this ever happened. And you miss Noah.”

“More than before, actually,” Darrik says. He stops walking, leans back against the wall of the yoga center a few doors down from Minnisale’s. “I really like you, Rory, and I’ve had fun, but it also made me miss how easy everything was with Noah. How well we clicked.”

“Apparently that’s what Noah wants, at least according to Alex,” Rory says, and Darrik almost smiles at that. “I wish I could understand what Alex means sometimes.” From what Rory’s heard, he thinks she isn’t sure herself.

“I think it just means that for me, closure isn’t about moving on right now.” Darrik tilts his head back, talking to the sky above. “I still want to reach out to Lora, and I want to understand why this happened, and keep it from happening to anyone else. It’s been a few months, but I keep wondering if it’s going to start happening again. If some other Mage is going to be attacked by shadows.”

“I actually have some information about that,” Rory says. “But maybe we should go back inside so I can tell everyone at once.”

Darrik pushes away from the wall, tugs at the sleeves of his sweater to pull them neatly down. When he holds his arms out, Rory goes into the hug and holds on hard. Darrik’s shoulders shudder under his touch. Rory closes his eyes and wishes that he could leach away this emotional pain the same way he stops Talent. He spreads his fingers across the space over Darrik’s spine, and the shudder intensifies before Darrik goes still. Breath rushes out, and the tension finally, slowly, eases.

They stay like that, and Rory’s warm finally, wrapped in Darrik’s arms, holding him. Finally Darrik’s grip loosens, and they both step back. Darrik motions, and Rory walks quickly to the door, the warmth fading quickly in winter’s chill. When he steps inside, Darrik’s hand falls to Rory’s back, and it’s comfortable as they make their way to the table again.

Ally glances up as Darrik slides into his seat. “We’ve been making Jonathan uncomfortable while you were gone.”

Darrik smiles at that. “Always an entertaining pastime. What were you doing?”

“Quizzing me about the lack of romance in my life,” Jonathan mutters drily. “Jess was trying to psychoanalyze me.”

“I’m not a psych major,” Jess protests. “I was trying to figure out if we need your tie to Lora for the ritual. You’re not with her, and you’re not in love with her, but you love her. You and Ally are her best friends. It’s possible we can use that as anchor points. Mathematically speaking, the more stability we introduce, the less likely it is that Shane can completely uproot the ritual.”

“Then why include him at all if he’s that dangerous to Lora?” Jonathan asks.

Rory manages to get back in his seat. He rubs his arms, still slightly chilled. “Because we need power. I’m not great at providing it yet, although I’m working on that. The way we have it set up, Shane channels power to Kit, who applies it to the ritual to reach Lora. Kit uses a focus.”

“So he’s a battery.”

“Pretty much.” Rory nods at Ally’s explanation. “Jess isn’t wrong, though. Having more anchors for Lora couldn’t hurt, but we also have to work with what’s available for space in the room.”

“I’ll go over the whole process and do measurements, so I can map out a mathematically stable layout for your ritual.” Jess’s gaze drifts, as if she’s already creating it in her mind.

“I have something else to look into as well,” Rory says. “About the shadow that attacked Lora.” He pauses, unsure how they’ll take this. “I’ve been talking to her.”

“Talking to her.” Ally’s tone is flat as she repeats the words.

“You’re friends?” Jonathan rises halfway, but Ally reaches over without looking, hooks her fingers in his belt loop, and tugs until he sits again. “Why are you talking to the shadow that attacked Lora and killed Noah.”

Rory licks his lips. “Because she came to me. And because we need information.” He keeps his fingers on the table, but he taps out a beat, letting rhythm flow through him in nervous energy. “When we trapped her the first time, she singled me out. She’s changed, since then. She calls it a second Emergence, but essentially… we know more about Shadowwalkers than we did before. They’re soulless Emergent Talents, and constantly starving. They are attracted to large displays of fresh Talent, or powerful people, because that helps sate their hunger.” He pauses, gestures with one hand. “We knew most of that. But Mattie has her soul back. She’s still a Shadowwalker, but she’s not starving. She’s human, like us. Her Talent—it’s like knowing someone from a Healer Lineage who happens to be a Giver of Pain instead.”

“Except for the part where she killed people,” Jonathan snaps. It looks as if he tries to stand again, but Ally holds him in place.

Darrik’s breath shudders out in a low whine. “What did she say?” The words come out through tight lips, as if they cost him greatly.

“I’m helping her figure out the world,” Rory says slowly. “In exchange, she’s answering questions, when I figure out how to ask them. She admitted to being the one who killed Orson and his friends, and who killed Noah. She isn’t killing anyone now—she isn’t stealing souls at all. She said food isn’t satisfying, but it’s getting her through. So far.”

A soft whistle and whine, as if Darrik’s throat is tight, holding anxiously to every breath.

“What now, then?” Ally asks, her hand covering Darrik’s on the table.

“I’m not planning on her being a part of the ritual,” Rory says plainly, in case they thought he’d be brutal enough to do that. “But I want her to talk to me about the design. She attacked Lora. She might know something that can help us figure out where Lora is, stuck inside her own head. Mattie was separated from her body for a long time, until someone found her and restored her. She may be one of our best chances for information.”

Rory knows it’s not that simple. Mattie doesn’t actually know where Lora is; she has ideas. They’ve been talking about it, on and off. But they’ve also been texting fairly regularly about magical ritual in general, Alaric and the Clan’s politics and plans against the shadows, and about life in general. There are times when over text, Rory is almost able to forget that Mattie isn’t just another girl his own age.

“If it helps,” Darrik says slowly. “If it helps.”

Ally leans forward, elbows on the table. “I think you should know that I may not be a Mage, but I’m Talented. And my Talent is that I can figure out how to kill anything. If your pet shadow takes a single step out of—”

“She’s not my pet, nor an animal.” Rory interrupts her. He doesn’t want to think about what that implies for her Talent, or how she might use that. “Mattie is a person. She was Clan, and she was a child when she Emerged as a Shadowwalker.”

“If you say she didn’t mean to kill Noah, I’m going to—”

“Ally.” Darrik’s voice is rough, underlined by a deep growl. “I trust Rory. And if Mattie is willing to help us get Lora back, I’ll trust that too. For now. She’s going to need to answer for what happened, though.”

“I know.” Rory hasn’t lost sight of that in the bigger picture. Mattie may be more of a person than the rest of the Shadowwalkers, but the deaths still happened. “The goal right now is to keep it from happening again. Shadowwalkers were myths before last fall. Now, every time we do a new ritual and use bigger forms of magic, we have to watch the shadows. I want to know why, and I want to stop it before someone else dies. Mattie will get us there.”

“Another variable,” Jess murmurs, clearly still stuck on the math.

“I hope this works the way you think it will,” Ally tells him. “Because Jonathan and I will be there this time, and if your shadow comes in and interferes, I won’t hesitate to kill her. For Noah and Lora.”

“If she attacks you, I’m not going to stop you,” Rory promises. He doesn’t intend for Mattie to be anywhere near that ritual, unless she’s somehow able to keep other shadows away. The next time they reach out for Lora, Rory fully intends that it’s going to work. He can’t bring Noah back for Darrik, but he can at least do this.

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