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#i want to emphasize how much i DO NOT have the time or motivation or patience or skills to make it a thing

nanaslutt · 2 months

Text

Best friend’s dad

ʚ ft. Toji Fushiguro

ʚ cont: fem reader, legal age gap (r! is in college), virgin reader, dry humping, fingering, oral (f!r), so much dirty talk, teasing, sexual tension, mutual pining, rough sex, multiple orgasms, dacraphillia, unprotected sex, breeding kink, big dick Toji

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

It wasn't at all uncommon for you to spend the night at Megumi's house, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't have alternative motives for wanting to stay the night so often. Luckily for you, Megumi didn't care much about your gross, taboo crush on his father. He wasn't completely unaware of how people looked at him in public, how solicitors lost their pitch when he opened the door.

Toji Fushiguro was one of the most handsome men you'd ever seen, so what if he was old enough to be your dad? Clicking the buttons on your car remote, it locked with a honk as you made your way up to the Fushiguro's front door, bag in hand, ready to spend the night yet again. Finals had just finished, meaning you two had some time to relax, maybe order some food, maybe convince Fushiguro to finally invite his long-time crush, Itadori, over to spend the night as well.

"It'll be perfect!" Your voice bordered on whining as you sat on your knees in front of Megumi and gripped his shoulders hard, shaking him back and forth. The dark-haired boy looked unimpressed, staring off into space as he waited for you to let go of him. "Look I even downloaded his favorite movies just for tonight!" You exclaimed, gesturing to the TV in front of you.

"How do you know his favorite movies?" Fushiguro asked, his eyes pointing at you like little slivers, his voice accusatory. "Relax loverboy, I asked for your sake." You deadpanned, shaking your head. You had been friends with Itadori almost as long as you'd known Megumi. When the three of you ended up at the same junior high all those years ago, you took the initiative to introduce them to each other, and the three of you have been inseparable ever since.

Megumi pouted and looked away, a light blush dusting across his cheeks. The three of you had hung out many times before, but never the two of them alone, and never at his house. Because of Fushiguro's dad, he didn't bring people home often. His dad was a bit crass and intimidating, he didn't want to scare away any possible friends by introducing them to his dad prematurely, so you were the only one of Megumi's friends he'd med, besides friends here and there in passing, only having seen them for a moment when Megumi had to stop by the house to grab something.

Fushiguro's groan made you snap your head away from the TV as you organized the movies in order so one would play after the other. Megumi had his face in his hands before he lifted his face, his hands dragging down the skin of his face. "What are you pouting about? I'm not taking no for an answer Fushiguro, tonight is the night." You said, emphasizing your words with your hands.

"It's not that... I'm worried about him meeting my dad." Megumi said, running a hand through his hair. You suppressed a giggle, covering your mouth, "He's not as scary as you think he is. Anyways, Itadori is good with people, he's not going to be put off by your dad Fushiguro." You said, watching Megumi's reaction to your words. He sighed, half rolling his eyes before they landed on yours. "You don't think he's scary because you're in love with him." Megumi deadpanned, looking almost disgusted at you.

You smirked, shaking your head. "I can think he's scary and hot at the same time." Megumi groaned at your words, he hated when you called his dad hot to his face. "Anyways if you're scared of that old man just say that., but Itadori will be different." You laughed, poking Megumi's shoulder. He quickly swatted at your hand, making you laugh and find the remote again.

"Who's an old man?" A deeper, more mature voice echoed from the hall. You weren't given long to brace yourself before Megumi's door was being pushed open by a socked foot, the large figure coming into view as Toji Fushiguro himself crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. You felt your heart race, all the saliva left your mouth in an instant, so much for not being scared of him.

"You. Get out." Megumi said plainly, not even bothering to look in the direction of his father. You on the other hand, had your eyes glued to the older man, your eyes not so subtly tracing down his body, taking in the eye candy in front of you shamelessly. The tight black shirt he was wearing accentuated his muscles, the ridges of his abs standing out clear as day through the fabric, making the previously scarce saliva return to your mouth.

You tried to resist the urge to stare at his bottom half when you realized he was wearing grey sweats. You don't know how those damn pants still had the ability to get you so hot when that's all you'd ever seen him wear, but they did the job well. Dragging your eyes back up his body, they landed on his face. Your heart nearly shot out of your mouth when you realized he was already looking at you. How long had he been watching you?

"I didn't see you when you came in," Toji said, tipping his head against the door. You almost missed the way his eyes looked over your body subtly as you sat on Megumi's bed, legs now crossed. You cleared your throat before you spoke, "I just got here, Mr. Fushiguro," You said, averting your eyes as you spoke. "Come find me and say hi next time, you're my favorite friend of Megumi's after all," Toji responded, taking the opportunity of you looking away to stare at how well your tits filled out the shirt you were wearing, your cleavage spilling out from the top.

It was rare you were wearing anything other than Megumi's clothes when you came over, so this was a sight for sore eyes, a sight he wasn't going to miss even if you caught him. After all, you were wearing that shirt in his house, he should have the right to look at you all he wants. His lidded eyes found your face once again, he didn't miss the way the tips of your ears had turned a bright red, he swallowed hard at the sight. You always got so fidgety so easy, he didn't even have to do anything.

"She's the only friend of mine you know, idiot," Megumi interjected, keeping his eyes on his phone as he typed away. Toji's smirk grew, his eyes staying locked on yours even as his son spoke. "Doesn't change a thing." He replied, his tone suggestive.

He held eye contact with you for a moment, maybe even a second too long, your heartbeat becoming the only thing you could hear in your ears before he looked away, his body peeling off the wall as he grabbed the handle and closed it behind him. "Knock next time!" Fushiguro yelled as he heard his father's footsteps descend away from his door, getting heavier and heavier.

You sighed long and hard before you fell face-first into Megumi's comforter, letting out a string of squealing. "You're so gross, don't do that in front of me," Megumi said, giving you a hard side eye as he tapped away on his phone. "Anyways... while you were flirting with my dad I uh, I invited Itadori. He'll be on his way soon." Megumi said. You don't think your body has ever moved as fast as it did at that moment.

Sitting up you grabbed the tops of Megumi's knees and shook them, the back of his head hitting against the headboard in the process as you voiced your excitement. "Megumiiiii! This is gonna be so great!" You exclaimed. Megumi everted his eyes, a pout forming on his face as he blushed harder, a hand covering his face in the process.

"Okay, okay, enough." He said, his eyes squinting as he looked at the wall. Once you finally let go of Megumi, you ranted about how the night was going to go, laying out your master plan for the boy. Megumi pretended to be uninterested the entire time, but you both knew how much he was actually hanging onto your every word. He wanted this to go smoothly just as much as you did.

When Yuuji finally arrived, the meeting with Mr. Fushiguro had gone better than he ever expected. Itadori, ever the polite boy he was, ran excitedly up the the older Fushiguro and shook his hand with the grip of a thousand men, shaking it as he spewed praises about the man's son. Toji gave a knowing smirk to the dark-haired boy behind his friend as he desperately tried to pry Itadori away from his dad.

So far, everything was going to plan. Dinner had been eaten, and gossip had been spilled, mostly by you and Itadori, but Megumi was happy to be there, despite his scowl that said otherwise. Now the three of you were sat on the bed, ready to watch Itadori's favorite movies, unbeknownst to the pink-haired boy. You had purposefully left out the part in your plan where you were going to excuse yourself from the room when the movie started to allow Megumi and his long-time crush some alone time, as you knew Megumi probably wouldn't have invited him over in that case.

You rested on your side at the end of the bed by the boy's feet, who sat together against Megumi's headboard, shoulders just inches away from touching, each time you glanced over at them the smile you gave Megumi combined with your wiggling eyebrows made him kick you in the back, an action Itadori seemed to miss.

The room was dark as the movie came to life, a blanket draped over the bottom half of your body as you stared blankly at the TV, trying to pretend to be interested in the freaky and confusing plot of Itadori's favorite movie. You guessed Megumi was feeling the same way since you two shared the same taste in movies. Only he actually had a reason to pretend to be interested, you didnt.

Before you fell asleep and ruined your master plan, you slid off the bed, trying not to get in the way of the TV. You threw the blanket on top of the two boys' legs, hoping at some point they would adjust it and get cozy together. Both boys looked over your way as you stood on your feet before looking back at them. "Bathroom?" Itadori asked, tilting his head at you like a puppy.

"Ah... Something like that, I'll be back in a second!" You said, putting on your best sincere smile as you looked between the boys. Yuji looked away first after acknowledging your words, Megumi stayed staring, a look on his face that read, Don't do this to me. You smiled, your eyes crinkling at the corners as you mouthed, "This is for your own good." Making Megumi press his lips tightly together in response. You swear you saw his eye twitch before you turned around and started for the door.

Closing Megumi's bedroom door behind you as quietly as possible, you pressed your back against it, smiling to yourself. Your eyes darted around the dark and quiet hallway as you tried to figure out what you were going to do to pass the time. The movie was almost three hours after all. You decided to head to the living room after a couple of moments of pondering.

Toji would most likely be in his room by now, leaving you the kitchen and living area to yourself, the perfect place to lounge around by yourself as you gave the boys some space. As you tiptoed past Toji's room, you noticed it was completely silent through the door, not even a crack of light peaking under the wood. Toji had horrible sleeping habits from what you conjured since spending so much time here, so it was unusual for him to be asleep at this time, but it wasn't unusual for him to be in his room at this hour.

You grabbed the railing as you fumbled in the darkness, tiptoeing down the stairs as you made your way to the living area. You were about to sigh in relief when you finally made it down the stairs without falling when you saw a faint blue light flashing from the direction of the living area. Poking your head around the corner, you caught a glimpse of the back of Toji's head.

You felt your mouth run dry when your eyes focused in the dark and took in the expanse of Toji's bare arms and neck. Squinting your eyes, you could see his shoulders were bare too. Was he shirtless? It was then that you saw the towel slung over the back of the couch under Toij's large arm, his hair that glowed in the light of the TV appearing to be damp.

You felt your face heat up. You've seen Toji shirtless before, and each time his impressive physique was in front of you, it made it impossible for you to focus on anything but how many indents were in between each of his abs. You tucked your head back behind the wall, Toji now out of view as you pressed your back against the wall.

There was nowhere else in the house you could wait out the movie, besides maybe the bathroom, but if Itadori or Fushiguro needed to use the bathroom, it would be over. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and took deep, slow breaths, trying to calm your heart as you gathered the courage to walk out into the room.

Maybe you would get lucky and Toji wouldn't acknowledge your presence as you sat on one of the bar stools in the kitchen, away from him and his insane body. Although you had told Megumi you weren't scared of him, you were partially lying. You were intimidated, especially when you were faced with him on your own.

Even after all your years of knowing Megumi, you've had very few conversations with Toji one one-on-one, never lasting long enough to get past the "How's your day?" question before Megumi popped back into the room and dragged you away. Your heart was still racing even after taking so many deep breaths, the past conversations you'd had with him replaying over and over in your head, unknowingly stressing you out.

After a few more moments of internal struggle, you peeled your ridged body off the wall and walked into the living area, trying to ignore Toji as you b-lined for the kitchen, an almost constipated look on your face as you held your breath. Toji turned his head around to face you when he heard your footsteps, his dark eyes following your body as you walked right past him without uttering so much as a word.

Just when you thought you'd gotten lucky, a very familiar, deep, pussy wetting voice echoed quietly through the almost silent room. "Ignoring me again? My feelings might get hurt if you keep this up." Your back was to him as you held the handles of the cabinet, freezing in place. You pressed your lips together in defeat, your eyes shutting for a brief moment before you turned on your heels to look at him.

Only the Toji Fushiguro who was sitting on the couch just moments ago was now leaning forward on the back of the bar chair on the opposite side of the kitchen island from you, one large hand gripping the back of the chair, the other holding a beer bottle. Sure enough, your eyes hadn't been deceiving you back then. Toji was completely shirtless, his sweats hung lowly on his hips. You prayed he didnt catch the way your eyes flitted down his body, staring long enough to notice the veins on his v-line, before you caught yourself.

You met his eyes for only a moment before you looked away, your body stuttering as you turned around and reached back up to the cabinet for a glass, a heat creeping up your neck.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you." You said, clearing your throat before you spoke. You shut the cabinet quietly before stepping over to the sink and filling your glass. "Such a sweetheart." Toji praised, his words making your hand squeeze the glass a little tighter.

Toji took the chance to rake his eyes down the back of your body. He could easily see how tense you were, how the muscles in your arms and back tensed and released each time he spoke. You were almost vibrating with nervousness, and he was eating it up. You locked eyes with him as you turned around, sitting back against the sink, your legs pressed tightly together, looking ever so ridged.

"What are you doing down here anyways huh? Thought you were watchin' a movie with the boys." Toji asked, bringing his beer to his lips, all while keeping his eyes on you. You hesitated before you spoke, you knew Toji didn't care about things like two boys being together, but you didn't know if he knew Megumi was into boys. "Just uh... not my kinda movie." You said, quickly bringing the glass to your lips to hide your lie.

"Mmm," Toji responded, keeping his eyes on yours even after you looked away. "Wanna watch a movie with me then? I'll let you pick 'n everything." Toji said, tilting his head over to the couch. If your mouth wasn't dry before, it was now. It was so impossibly hard not to ogle his body. It was right in front of you, and he was so toned and impressive like he spent years on it. It's like he wanted someone to look at it, to appreciate it. And god if you were given the chance, you would.

You had no real reason not to accept his invitation, besides the fact that you were positive you were already drenching your panties, and you weren't sure if you could hold a coherent conversation with him without panting like a dog and staring at his body like he's some piece of meat. You rubbed your lips together nervously before your eyes found him again and you nodded.

A smirk spread across Toji's features, one that made your knees weak. "Good. You wanna beer or anything first?" Toji offered before he rounded the counter and placed the empty bottle by the sink, his body now dangerously close to yours. Each time he was this close to you, it was impossible to not think about how prominent your size difference was. He was bigger than you in every way, it made you shiver.

"Please." You responded, nodding. A drink would either help you fucking relax, or make your horniess and self-awareness ten thousand times worse, you would find out soon, but you had to try something and quick before you pounced on him. "So polite too. Love that." Toji smiled before you felt a heavy pressure against your head. His hand retracted before you could even register what happened.

You were stuck staring blankly at the expanse of his large, toned back as he opened the fridge and grabbed two new beers, holding the tops of them in one hand between his fingers. He looked at you over his shoulder as gestured with his head toward the TV before he started for it, you following hot on his trail.

Toji sat down first, his legs spreading wide as he patted the cushion next to him, inviting you to sit down. The TV was on, but muted, only colorful lights illuminated his and your bodies as you stood in front of the TV. Toji leaned forward and started taking the caps off your beers while you got situated next to him.

You kept your distance a bit as you finally sat down, the purposeful action not being missed by the ever-so-observant man next to you. "Don't be scared sweetheart, I won't bite," Toji said teasingly, resting his arm close to you out over the back of the couch behind you as he held your beer out for you with his other. "Sorry." You mumbled, taking the drink from his hand.

"You scared of me? After all this time?" Toji laughed, his body angled a little towards you, his knee almost bumping into yours as you sat formally next to him, legs pressed firmly together. You were about to continue when Toji spoke first, adding, "Is it 'cos I'm your boyfriend's dad?" You swear in that moment the world stopped rotating on its axis. The reaction you gave him was the most emotion he's seen from you all night.

Leaning closer to Toji, you scrunched your eyebrows together in confusion, a look of almost disgust plastered on your face. "You think Megumi is my boyfriend??" you asked incredulously, making Toji's eyes open a bit in response to your visceral reaction. "I figured from how often you spend the night over here. Always hangin' out in his bedroom with the door shut." Toji said, a look of amusement on his face.

Your hands shot up in front of you as you quickly waved them back and forth, shaking your head from side to side at the same time. "Ohhhhh nonononono, no. NO." You said, your tone getting firmer with every no you uttered. Toji let out a deep chuckle, the sound warming you up from the inside out. "Sorry, guess I should've assumed then," Toji said before he reached out and patted your knee, making your body go ridged again.

The touch was gone before you knew it, much like the one in the kitchen. "I don't have to feel bad then," Toji mumbled under his breath before he took a gulp of his drink. You were going to ask him to repeat what he said before he spoke again, cutting you off. "So, you gotta boyfriend then? Can't imagine he's so cool with you sleepin' over at some other guy's house so often." Toji pushed, his eyes tracing over your form almost unnoticeably from the sides of his eyes.

Your eyes were not in front of you, watching the colors and words on the TV change as you took in his words while you sipped on your drink, the bitter liquid making your throat burn as it went down. "No, I've never had a boyfriend." You said, your body relaxing against the couch as you were swept up in thought.

Toji found this extremely enticing, his knee closest to you bending on the couch as he now turned his body fully to face you, drink resting against his knee as he held his face with his palm, elbow resting against the back of the couch. "No? You're such a pretty little thing, can't imagine you'd run into problems finding a boyfriend." Toji's praise made your whole body vibrate with a newfound heat. You kept your body facing forward but turned your head to face him, unable to stop yourself from running your eyes down his body once before you found his eyes.

"It's not like I've never had crushes or anything, but all throughout high school, and even now in college, Megumi... he scares guys away." You say, sighing before you look away. "He doesn't mean to, but he can come off as intimidating sometimes, so guys don't approach me when he's around... which is most of the time." You finish, shaking your head.

Toji hummed in acknowledgment as he listened to you speak, all the while staring shamelessly at your tits from the side, his eyes dark. "You want a boyfriend?" He asked, sipping on his beer while he kept his eyes on your chest. He swallowed hard when you leaned fully back against the couch abruptly, your cleavage jiggling from the top of your shirt. You placed the beer bottle between your thighs and rubbed your knees, your face screwing in all kinds of ways as you thought.

"Sometimes." You replied when you had decided on an answer. Toji could tell you were much more relaxed now. Leaning forward, he plucked your half-empty drink from between your thighs and placed it on the coffee table, along with his own before he went back to resting on his hand like nothing happened. The small gesture had made your heart race again after it had been so calm too.

Your palms felt sweaty as you rubbed your knees, suddenly so acutely aware of his eyes on you. "Why's that?" Toji pushed, his knee threatening to bump into yours. He hadn't moved, but he seemed so much closer now. Or maybe it was just your senses heightening as you were suddenly more aware of his arm behind your shoulders, his collarbones flexing every time he moved.

You shrugged before looking at him, turning your face fully to look at him this time, your legs staying firmly pressed together. You felt yourself throb when your eyes locked on his, his gaze darker and more intense than before. "You want someone to take care of you?" Toji asked, keeping his wording vague on purpose to tease you. And tease you it did. You tried to rub your thighs together subtly as your eyebrows furrowed with your growing arousal.

You tried to keep your eyes on his as you nodded. You didn't know if it was your own arousal and slight tipsyness, but the air in the room seemed to shift. Toji reached out and caressed your face with the palm of his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheek. His touch was so delicate compared to how rough his skin felt against you. "You drunk?" Toji asked, probably noticing the fuzziness in your eyes, only it wasn't from the alcohol.

"No." You replied, leaning against his touch instinctively despite every alarm going off in your head that was telling you you shouldn't be doing this. "You look warm, you sure? Can't even look at me right." Toji teased, cocking his head to the side as he ran his hand up to your forehead, feeling how hot your skin felt. You pressed your thighs together harder, feeling yourself throb as he touched you so freely. "It's not 'cos of the alcohol." You whispered, part of you hoping he wouldn't catch your words.

Toji's smirk grew before he dragged his eyes up from your plush lips to your eyes, his gaze dark and telling. "No?" He asked, his eyebrows raising in question. "What is it then?" Toji pushed, subtly and slowly leaning closer to you, trying to get you to open up to him. Just when you were about to answer, the sound of someone falling down the stairs shook you out of the headspace you were in.

Toji didn't even flinch, instead turning his head to look at the source of noise as you jerked your body away from him, putting some distance between yourselves as his hand dropped from your face. A few moments later the familiar siloet of Yuji Itadori popped out from behind the wall, rubbing the back of his head in pain. He froze in place when he saw the two of you staring at him before his head tilted in confusion.

"Huh? What are you doing down here?" You suppressed the urge to giggle as you stared at the pink-haired boy who quickly resumed his pace for the kitchen. "Oh uh, just wasn't super into the movie." You lied through your teeth, the shakiness in your voice only making sense to the older man in front of you whose attention was now on you, his eyes staring right through you.

"Oh, I'm sorry, we can watch something else if you want." Itadori offered sweetly as he grabbed two cans of soda out from the fridge before closing it and walking up behind the couch. Your eyes almost shot out of your sockets when you felt a warm hand engulf your thigh. Your eyes shot over to Toji's for half a second before they were back on Yujis. "No worries!" You said, shaking your hands out in front of you, praying he wouldn't get any closer to notice Megumi's dad's hand on your thigh, his thick rubbing teasing circles against it.

"Me and Mr. Fushiguro are watching something instead! Go spend some alone time with Megumi!" You said, shaking your head rapidly, trying to ignore how hot you felt between your thighs as you placed your hand on top of the older Fushiguro's, begging him not to tease you right now. That only made him slide his hand up further, the tips of his fingers teasing right under the fabric of your shorts, making you suppress a whimper.

Itadori smiled at your words, the tips of his ears turning red. "Yeah, alright." He said, nodding at you, "But if you change your mind, the movie doesn't have that much left so you can join us whenever!" He was so kind, you felt so bad you didn't comprehend a single word he said as you dug your nails into Toji's wrist, who was now licking his lips as his fingers were lost deeper and deeper under your shorts.

You nodded, making sure the pink-haired boy was out of sight and up the stairs before you let out the breath you were holding. "What are you doing?" You stuttered, your words coming out breathy and needy. Toji slid his hand fully under the fabric of your shorts before he gripped the fat of your thighs, his thumb pinching the fat right next to your panties, making your eyes flutter.

"You were gonna tell me what had you all squirmy before that kid came down here," Toji said, retracting his hand from under your shorts, leaving your skin feeling hot where he last touched it. Your brain was short-circuiting at this point. No one had ever touched you the way Toji was touching you right now, and you had no idea why he was. You couldn't stop yourself from dragging your eyes down his torso and falling on his lap.

There was an extremely noticeable bulge in his sweat where his cock was, making you swallow all the saliva in your now dry mouth. Toji licked his lips as he watched your eyes trail over his body, making him feel hot. "I see the way you look at me," Toji whispered before the hand he held on the back of the couch slid down to the back of your neck, gripping your nape.

"I-" you were about to respond when he continued, "I hear you. Hear the way you talk about me to my son." Toji adds, making any denial or rebuttal you had vanished in an instant. "I feel the way you're pressing your thighs together right now." The grip on your neck tightened before his fingers started rubbing against you, sliding a bit down your back before caressing back up to your nape.

"I've been around long enough to notice when a woman is aroused." You swallowed hard at his insinuating words. "You a virgin?" Toji continued, his question making your veins run cold. "Cos you're sure actin' like one." He laughed at his own words, making your face heat up in embarrassment. "Mr. Fushiguro..." You started, unsure of what you even wanted to say as you whispered his name, pouting at him,

"You said you want someone to take care of you right?" He asked before the hand on your nape was sliding down your back again. His arm wrapped around your torso and pulled you close to him, making your heart race in your chest, the sound of it loud in your ears. Using his other hand he situated you on his lap, spreading your thighs over his, the neediest part of you pressing right on top of his crotch, which was hard and hot under you.

"Tell me you want this and I'll make you feel so good pretty girl, not into forcing a girl to do shit she doesn't wanna do," Toji said, making you swallow hard at his words. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't imagined what he was like in bed before. He was so domineering and intimidating, he seemed like the kind of guy who wanted you to verbalize what you wanted in bed, and you were quickly finding out that was true.

One of Toji's large hands rested on your upper thigh as his other reached up and caressed your cheek, trying to get you to relax. "What if Megumi or Itadori comes down here? What if we get caught?" You whisper, averting your eyes from his when his lustful gaze proved too much to handle. Toji could feel how your cunt pulsed and throbbed on top of him even through all the layers of clothes. He knew Megumi didn't care about your crush on him, and he knew even more that you wanted this. You were just nervous and he would say anything you wanted to reassure you.

"No one is coming down here," Toji said, caressing your thigh. "It's just you and me sweet thing," Toji emphasized his words by pressing his hips up into yours, his hard cock pressing harder against you, making your eyes flutter shut for a second. After a few more moments of Toji patiently caressing your face, waiting for your brain to work and decide your answer, you finally nodded before speaking the words that sealed your fate, "I want it."

Toji smiled before he thrust his hips slowly up against you again, watching how your body relaxed from the shallow teasing. "Want what?" He asked, licking his lips as he kept his eyes on yours. Your breathing was now fast and staggered as you met his hips with your own, slowly rolling your cunt against him, bringing yourself some relief. "Want you to make me feel good." You responded, your face growing hotter at the admission.

Toji picked up the pace of his hips, your body now bouncing on top of his as he dry-humped you a little faster. He dropped his hand from your face and placed both of them behind you on your hips, helping you rock yourself against him. "Yeah?" He responded, his eyebrows furrowing together as he teased you. "Want me to make you feel good?" He teased, his hands grip on your hips bruising. "Want me to make you cum?" His words made you nod your head furiously as whimpers fell from your lips, his part cock rubbing perfectly against your clit through all the layers of clothing.

He groaned through his teeth, his eyes falling shut for a moment as he rested his head back against the couch, watching the way your almost limp body rocked on top of him, your hands grabbing firmly on his forearms, steadying yourself. "Wanted you for so long, you know that?" Toji confessed, feeling his cock drip pre-cum steadily into his boxers. He was leaking so much, he felt like a teenager again.

You whined at his words, one of your hands leaving his forearm to press against your mouth, half to suppress your noises, half to cover yourself out of embarrassment. "Wanted to fuck you every time I saw you walk around my house in nothing but a t-shirt." He continued babbling, dragging you faster along his clothed cock. "Had to fucking rub one out every time you looked at me with those pretty eyes, so submissive 'n scared." You caught a gasp behind your hand. He got off to you? He's been getting off to you?

"Haven't been able to fuck anyone but my fist since I set my eyes on you." Toji groaned, his cock throbbing hard against his pants as he spoke, his voice getting rougher. "You gonna let me fuck you tonight?" Toji asked, smiling with his mouth slightly parted, arousal leaking out of his words. Looking down at his cock, you could see how big it was even covered by his sweats. Sure you had fucked yourself on a dildo before, but nothing compared to Toji's size.

"I don't... I don't know how to" You started, uncovering your mouth as you spoke, your eyes finding him again. "Don't worry about a thing sweetheart, just gotta lay there while I drill my cock into you." You screamed internally, how could he say such shameless things so easily? "Okay, okay you can fuck me." you said quietly, your eyebrows furrowing together as you spoke, keeping your eyes on him.

The groan that left Toji's lips was raw and unrestrained, if his cock and balls didn't ache before, they sure as hell did now. "Good choice princess, I'll fuck you so good," Toji promised. He only let you rock back and forth a few more times before he spun your body around and placed your back against his chest, your legs being spread apart by his large hands. "Can't take this dry-humping shit anymore though. Gonna blow my load in my pants if we keep that up." Toji groaned, almost pouting. He was more sensitive than he would care to admit, just a few minutes of dry humping and he was already ready to cum.

You tried to focus on what was happening now as you took in the woody, familiar smell of Toji's scent. His abs felt so hard agaisnt your back, and his breath that was tickling your shoulders and neck each time he exhaled sent shivers down your spine, he was so close, so all-consuming, so overwhelming. Your head was being forced to the side by his own as he dropped his head down to the crook of your neck and began sucking against your pulse point, making you gasp into the air.

"Keep m' open," Toji whispered, his voice deep against your ear as he released one of your legs and slowly dragged his fingertips along the inside of your thigh, tickling your skin. You felt yourself throb each time he got closer and closer to where you needed him most. "You masturbate?" Toji asked, his lips disconnecting from your neck and switching to your ear, his sharp teeth nibbling against the shell of it.

His words caught you off guard as you looked down between your legs to watch his hand that was getting dangerously close to your cunt. You hesitated before nodding. You felt his cock twitch against your ass. His fingers hovered just above your cunt as you subtly wiggled against him, trying to get him to touch you. "How do you do it?" He pressed before tapping his fingers against your clit, pausing after every few touches.

You moaned and wiggled against him, trying to be as conscious as possible about how loud you were being. "Mr. Fushiguro-" You whined, not wanting to answer his embarrassing question. "Toji." He corrected before continuing, "Do you rub your clit till you cum? Do you finger yourself? Both?" His voice was so deep and rough next to your ear, that you couldn't help but moan. "Both..." You whispered, your eyes squeezing shut. Toji groaned before he slipped his hand under your shorts and panties with ease before finding your clit expertly and rubbing it.

It felt so hot in your shorts, the wetness of your cunt was rubbing against the back of his hand from how drenched your panties were. "Like this?" Toji asked, his eyes staring at your pretty face that was screwed in pleasure, your mouth falling open and closed like a fish out of water. His fingers were so large, and he rubbed your clit perfectly with just his middle finger, small quick circles rubbing expertly against the little bud.

"What do you think about when you touch yourself?" He continued, his voice only trying the knot in your stomach even deeper. "You think about gettin' fucked in your tight virgin pussy? Think about someone's mouth on you?" His fingers were faster now, small noises of slickness were spilling out from your panties, echoing into your ears from how wet you were. "T-think about you" You cried, your legs flexing as they fought to stay open, obeying Toji's words.

Toji groaned before he started rubbing his fingers lower, right over your wet, slick-covered hole. "You flatter me. So it's my cock you think about fucking you." Toji grinned as he singled out his middle finger and pressed it against your hole, your pussy greedily swallowing up his finger as he watched your jaw fall open. "So fucking tight..." Toji mumbled under his breath before he slowly pumped it in and out of you, curling his finger upwards to rub against your g-spot each time it was inside.

"Toji-" You gasped, your abdominal muscles clenching each time he thrust his finger into you. "You ever think about my tongue on your pussy?" He asked, kissing the side of your face and jawline, teasing you with his plush lips. You nod quickly, your breathing now erratic and high-pitched. Toji pulled his finger almost completely out before he reentered your cunt with a second finger, the stretch from his thick fingers making you furrow your eyebrows together, but the discomfort subsided fast.

Toji kept his fingers fully inside you and opted to just curl them rapidly against your g-spot rather than thrust them in and out, resulting in his warm palm pressing firmly against your clit. Your eyes shot open at the intense feeling, your head dropped to watch his hand bulge out from under your shorts. "That feels good huh?" He asked, smiling as your smaller hands gripped tightly around his thick forearm as he got you off.

"I'm gonna cum-" You cried, your head falling back against his shoulder. Toji repressed the urge to speed up his fingers as he watched you start to unravel on him, his excitement growing the more debauched he watched you get. By now, Toji's entire palm and fingers were covered in your slick, and your panties and shorts were as good as ruined. Just when you thought you were about to get pushed off the edge, an idea popped into Toji's head, resulting in him stopping and pulling his fingers out completely.

You didn't even have time to complain before you were on your back on the sofa and your shorts and panties were being pulled off your legs, and thrown onto the floor to be forgotten about. "Wha-" Toji looked so serious and needy, his cock poking straight out of his pants, looking almost painful. The underside of your thighs was being pushed up as Toji lay between your thighs. He wasted no time in latching his lips around your clit and sucking, hard.

He placed your legs on his shoulders and kept you firmly against his face with his hand pressing against one of your thighs around his head. You covered your mouth with one hand and gripped his hair harshly with the other, your nails scratching his head as your back arched at the intense pleasure. Toji groaned against you, sending vibrations through your pussy as he shook his head back and forth. You felt that familiar pressure inside of you when Toji slipped his other hand under his mouth and continued fingering you again.

In seconds you were already worked back up to your high. "Fuck!" You yelled behind your hand, your thighs squeezing around his head. "H-haah I'm gonna cum Toji- T-toji- Toji I'm cummin-" The older man smiled against your before he took your clit back in his mouth, shaking his head rapidly as he curled his fingers hard into your g-spot, pulling your orgasm out of you.

Toji's cock throbbed painfully in his boxers when your pussy squeezed around his fingers, feeling like they were going to cut off his circulation. His eyes stayed on your face as he took in the way you looked when you orgasmed, not wanting to miss a single reaction despite how badly his eyes wanted to roll back in his head. "Good fucking girl" Toji growled, squeezing your thigh before he smacked it softly. "You taste so fucking good on my god." Toji groaned in disbelief, sucking your cum off his fingers shamelessly.

You were still catching your breath when Toji sat up. Your eyes were all out of focus and your body twitching in the aftershocks but you still saw the way Toji jerked himself off through his pants as he sucked your cum off his fingers from the slick on his chin. "I gotta get inside you, I can't take much more." Toji groaned, his wet hand rubbing up and down your thigh. He kept his eyes on yours as you watched him reach into his sweats and pull his cock out.

Just as you suspected, it was huge. His tip looked so angry and you could see how hard he was throbbing. String after string of pre-cum dripped from the tip of his cock as he spread his wetness down his length, lubing himself up for you. "It's so big, is it gonna fit?" You asked, covering your cunt with your hand as you pressed your thighs together, still breathing heavily. Toji continued to stroke himself off as he climbed over you, his hand caging you under him. "I'll make it fit." He whispered, making you whine.

"Lay on your stomach for me princess, legs together and straight out behind you," Toji instructed. You did as you were told. Your upper half was still clothed in a t-shirt, but your bare ass was exposed to Toji's eyes as you flipped over, pressing your thighs together. Toji reached behind him and grabbed a small decorative pillow. "Knew this stupid shit would come in handy for something," Toji said, laughing to himself as he let go of his cock and lifted your hips off the couch before stuffing the pillow under your pelvis.

"I'll feel better this way," Toji told you as he sat back on his heels, pulling your ass apart to get a better view of your cunt as he jerked off over your ass. "Why?" You asked, resting your head on the side of your crossed arms as you looked at Toji from your peripherals. Toji smiled at you as he leaned over your body, his hips flush against your ass as he rubbed his cock between your cheeks, his hand resting on the couch next to your head.

"You remember that spot I was rubbin' inside you a second ago? The one that made you cum so fast?" Toji teased, making you look away in embarrassment before you nodded, trying to focus on his words instead of his cock rubbing between your ass. "It'll put pressure on your tummy where that spot is, so when I fuck you It'll be pressin' against my cock, makes it feel realll intense," Toji explained as he angled his cock down to the entrance of your pussy, trying to distract you with his words.

"You think I can handle it?" You asked, suddenly a little nervous. You had already gone dumb just from a few fingers, you had no idea how you were going to react to his cock. Toji pressed the tip of his cock against your tight little hole teasingly, slowly pressing against it to see how much force it would take to fuck into you. "You can handle it because you're my good girl aren't you?" Toji asked, watching your face as he nudged your pussy lips apart, pressing his cock into you.

Your face screwed in pleasure as you nodded, keeping your eyes on his as he slowly fed you his cock. Tears began to well up in your eyes as your jaw fell open in a silent scream. Toji's head felt like it was filled with clouds, your pussy was making him dumb and he was only two inches inside. The older man cooed at your pathetic face before he leaned forward and captured your lips in a messy kiss, immediately forcing his tongue between your lips and into your mouth, overwhelming you.

The two of you groaned into the other's mouth as he penetrated you, finding a little more resistance than he expected even though you had already come once and were so wet and soft inside. "I got you, relax baby girl, gotta loosen up so I can fuck you," Toji whispered between kisses, his voice strained and hoarse as he tried to talk you through it.

Hot tears fell down your cheeks as you did your best to relax your cunt around him, letting him slide in easier. "There you go, I got you, I got you." Toji's words were much softer compared to his mean cock that was bullying your pussy and stretching you open. You slid one of your hands under your tummy between the pillow and pressed against your pelvis. It felt so tight and full. Toji groaned at the added pressure as he gave you a second to adjust to his size.

"It- It's so big." You said between gasps. "But you took the whole thing," Toji said, pressing his lips to the side of your face. Your walls clenched around him rhythmically, the pain slowly turning into pleasure the more you cockwarmed him. "Ready for me to move?" Toji suggested, more out of his own impatience than anything. He didn't know how much longer he could take feeling you squeeze around him without moving his hips.

You nodded, squeezing your eyes shut in preparation. "That's my girl." He said before he pulled his hips out and slammed them back against you. From the position and the pressure on your lower stomach, his cock jabbed right into your sweet spot, making you kick your knees up and release a loud moan, one that made Toji lean over your back and press his hand firmly over your mouth. His weight against you felt suffocating but calming as he stayed still, throbbing inside you.

Toji released a small, deep laugh against your ear as your eyes stared at the floor all out of focus. "Shhhhh... you gotta be quiet for me princess. You don't want me to have to stop if we get caught, right?" Toji asked, his voice full of teasing. You shook your head quickly, trying to bounce your hips back into his, your moans and gasps muffled by his hand, now only puffs of air able to escape your nose.

"Yeah, me neither," Toji whispered against his ear before he started humping into you again, his hips smacking against your ass lewdly with every thrust. If either of the boys even left the sanctity of Megumi's room, the loud sounds of skin slapping together would be heard from down the stairs, giving you away, but Toji didn't care. Not with the way your cunt was sucking him in.

You whined at the loss each time he pulled his cock out of you, but your eyes rolled back in your head as a lewd moan left your lips when he fucked it back inside you, the warmth in your belly returning. Toji could feel himself leak inside your cunt, his balls throbbing with each thrust.

He buried his head in the crook of your neck and wrapped his other hand under your tummy, pressing it against yours that rested against your tummy. "You feel me in there?" Toji groaned into your ear, rolling his hips in circles against your ass as he emphasized his words, making you feel his cock inside you from outside your tummy. You groaned into his hand, your pretty eyes rolling back in your head at the feeling.

"I'm so fucking deep, balls fucking deep." Toji groaned, already pussydrunk as he babbled nonsense while he crushed you with his body weight. His chest was so hot and sweaty against your back as your shirt riding up with each of his thrusts, but his warm skin didnt feel too bad agaisnt your ass. "Mhmm-mhmm" You whined against his hand, nodding your head at his words as hot tears spilled down your cheeks.

"Best fucking pussy I ever had, so warm n' soft, makin' me feel like I'm gonna cum already." Toji laughed, biting down on the shell of your ear. Your knees kicked and curled helplessly behind him each time he fucked his fat cock inside your cunt, overwhelming you. Each time he spoke it made you clench tighter and tighter around him, his voice was even more sexy when he was pussy-drunk. You prayed this wouldn't just be a one-time thing. Now that you finally crossed this line, you hoped it would stay that way.

"Harder-" You moaned against his hand, the plea coming out muffled. "Wan' me to fuck you harder? I can do that for you baby." Toji grinned at your eagerness before he brought his hips back till just the tip of his cock remained inside you then slammed it all in at once, making your eyes roll back in your head.

He gave you no time to even process his change in roughness before he was beating your pussy up ruthlessly, his cock slamming straight into your sweet spot. You shook your head back and forth against Toji's hand as your eyebrows furrowed and you felt yourself get worked up to yet another orgasm. "Toji!" You screamed against his palm, his name getting broken up between your moans. Toji released your mouth and grabbed your chin, turning your head to the side so he could kiss you again.

He swallowed your moans greedily as he fucked his tongue into your mouth. The kiss was full of teeth and tongue, saliva spilling down your chin from how messy it was. Toji was now panting into your mouth, his hips getting rougher but sloppier as he used your cunt to reach his orgasm. "Toji- Toji I think m' gunna cum!" You whined as he kept kissing you while you spoke, his head completely in the clouds.

"Let me feel it, cum on my cock baby, cmon, cum on me," Toji begged, his voice breathier and needier than before. Your orgasm crashed over you only seconds later, your cunt contracting around Toji ten times tighter than before. He couldn't even mind that you were now moaning freely into the air as his lips detached from yours, his head falling into the crook of your neck as the muscles in his legs trembled from the feeling of you squeezing him.

"Ohmygod." Toji grit through his teeth, his eyes rolling back in his head as you spasmed around him, your cum dripping down his balls. "Gonna cum too pretty, gonna let me cum inside? Get you all full of my cum? Huh?" Toji asked, biting down on your shoulder hard as he waited for your answer. Despite how fucked out you were, you still had half a mind to nod at him, chants of his name falling from your lips as you begged him to cum inside you.

"I'm gonna give it to you baby, fuck- oh fuck it's coming- I'm cumming!" Toji's teeth nearly broke the skin of your shoulder from how hard he bit down as his orgasm hit him. His hips stilled against your ass save for jerking and spasming of his body as he released his seed deep inside your cunt, long, deep groans spilling from between his lips. "Take it, f-fucking take it, milk my fucking cock." Toji groaned.

You felt his abs clenching against your lower back as he emptied his balls inside you, a sudden warmth filling up your tummy as he filled you to the brim with his seed. You both gasped heavily against one another, fighting to catch your breath. "Fuck.." Toji groaned, "Haven't cum that hard in my life, thought I was gonna pass out." He laughed, pressing a kiss to your shoulder before pushing his sweaty chest off your back.

Toji sat back on his knees as he pulled out his cock, gripping the base of it as he did. Toji smirked when you whined as he slipped his cock out of you, his cum spilling from your hole as he did. Toji whistled before he spread your ass apart, watching how his cum dripped from your little hole. "Probably shoulda asked before, but you on birth control?" Toji asked before he lifted you from under your arms and laid your limp body against his chest.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and nodded, still trying to come back to reality as you processed what just happened. Toji internally sighed in relief as he wrapped his arms around you, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder. "You did so fucking well pretty girl, it hurt anywhere?" Toji asked, leaning back agaisnt the back of the couch, resting with your body on top of him.

"Hurts everywhere." You mumbled, resulting in a laugh from the older man, the movement from it shaking your body. "Painkillers n' a bath n' you'll be fine." He said, squeezing his arms tighter around you. "You gonna take responsibility?" You asked, your voice coming out weak against his shoulder. "If you're asking me to join you in the bath, sure, but no promises my cock won't end up inside you again."

You grimaced at his words, sitting up as you place your hands on his pecs, shaking your head back and forth as your cunt started aching already. "On second thought I think I can do it myself," Toji smirked before he tipped his head to the side on the couch, looking you up and down. "Twenty bucks you fall in the first five seconds you stand up." You pursed your lips in annoyance, flexing your thighs under him to see if he was right.

Your thighs shook the instant you tensed them, and not just a little either. The kind of shake that told you you needed 5-7 business days before you were walking without a limp. Toji looked down at you shaking legs before he glanced up at you from under his lashes, looking at you with an "I told you so" expression on his face. "Let me borrow one of your canes please." You said, pressing your lips together. Toji gripped your chin and brought your face close to his. "Brat." He whispered against your lips before kissing you slowly and passionately.

Your body melted against him as he kissed you like it was your last day on earth. Although the kiss was slower than the others he'd given you, it still made you go dumb in the head as his tongue intertwined with yours. The kiss made you forget all the aches in pains in your body as his expert tongue washed them all away.

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writingwithcolor · 4 months

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Diversity Win: Is "Crazy Rich" POC Representation Necessarily Empowering?

sodapopsculptor asked:

I’m writing a story with two sets of protagonists: A trio with a Black girl, a Latino, and a Vietnamese-American boy who all come from middle-upper class to ridiculously rich families, and a pair of white working-middle class sisters. They’re all heroes of this story. I’ve seen way too many rich white people and poor poc people in fiction, and I’m kinda getting sick of it, but I’m worried that by having the poc kids be rich and the white girls not so much, I’ll be reinforcing the idea that poc somehow rule the world. The only time the rich kids use their status as leverage is when the Asian threatens to sic his cop dad on a bully (race unstated but I imagined him as white) picking on a freshman, and during the Black girl’s birthday party, when she pays the biggest jock there fifty bucks (And later says offhandedly that it was just what she had in her pocket) to chase off a creep hitting on her.

OP, have you ever seen the “diversity win!” meme before?

I understand that your motivation for these narrative choices is to give POC a chance, if you will, to be the rich characters. But it is evident from this ask that you have not asked yourself what this entails. I want to ask you to critically examine the race and class intersections you’re creating here, as well as these kids’ roles in oppressive systems.

You explain that these rich POC are heroes and only have righteous reasons for leveraging their power.

But is your Black girl character aware of the potential disciplinary and/or legal consequences her jock accomplice might face while she has the resources to keep her hands clean? Are you?

Is your Asian character aware of how much of an abuse of power it is to “sic” a cop on someone, and the sheer amount of harm a criminal record or incarceration does to a juvenile with behavior issues? Are you?

So you want to put POC in positions of power for #representation.

Does it resonate with the group you’re representing?

Do you research and portray the unique ways race, ethnicity, class, and majority vs. minority status come together?

Or are you putting these characters in oppressive hegemonic roles for the sake of a power fantasy, on behalf of a group you're not even in?

To your question, you're not reinforcing the idea that "POC rule the world" because such a generalized belief does not exist. Instead, you're reinforcing:

The idea that society has “winners” and “losers.”

The idea that the problem with disproportionately powerful people is the lack of “equal opportunity” as opposed to the power imbalance to begin with.

The idea that those in oppressive positions of power need only have the right intentions to justify their use of it.

To be clear: that is not to say that you can't have jerk aristocrat billionaire millionaire crazy rich POC. Evil or mean rich characters are fun! I have some myself! You can even have rich characters who are gentle-hearted and well-intentioned, but you have to know the ways in which they’re privileged and decide how aware of that your characters are. That’s no problem.

But if you think that wealthy and powerful POC would have the same values and priorities as their poorer counterparts, you’re deluding yourself. There’s a reason why the quote “power corrupts” exists. There’s a reason why no matter where you look on the globe, there are historical dictators and tyrants.

If you want bratty rich POC who lack regard for the consequences of their actions, because you want bratty rich characters, great! If you want them because it would be uplifting or empowering representation? You’re doing it for the wrong reason.

~ Rina

I fully agree with Rina, and truly want to emphasize the last paragraph.

I don't think you need to aim to subvert or purposely make all the BIPOC rich and powerful and the white people poor and suffering. Add diversity and include upper class rich and class privileged BIPOC, sure thing! And you can avoid your fears of intentional subversion message by including rich and powerful white characters as well, even if they're not the focus of your story. Just their existence helps. You could also include middle-class characters of Color as well.

More reading: Black in upper-class society

~Mod Colette

#class #upper class #capitalism #POC #creator responsibility #asks #representation #wealth #privilege #subverting tropes #intersectionality #crazy rich asians #last edited 1/8/24

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iwantoseemybonesss · 5 months

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wl tips and tricks

1. spend your calories on healthy food obviously and eat enough Protein

2. cold showers are so good

3. Water, Water and Water!!! Drink a lot of water (cold)

4. Drink very warm water in the morning on an empty stomach this helps you with digestion and you can easily go to the toilet

5. Never drink your calories thats such a waste! If you‘re bored of Water, drink black coffee or sugar free tea

6. SLEEP! You burn a lot of calories while sleeping! if you don't sleep enough and and you're awake all night it doesn’t do anything

7. I recommend eating under 1000 calories a day! See what works best for you without binge eating afterwards! (I eat max. 400cals a day)

8. Don't weigh yourself too often as your weight will fluctuate throughout the day and this will make you less motivated. 1-2 times a day is enough. In the morning on an empty stomach and after you finished being on the toilet

9. walking!! Walk a lot!

10. Jogging or Running.

11. Eat slowly for better digestion and you don't bloat before eating drink water!!

12. Less carbohydrates more proteins! and vitamin!!!!!

13. Always weigh your food! Without knowing how much you've eaten, you don't know how many calories you've consumed

14. Don't tell anyone and surprise them with your you‘re new body!! Don‘t look for thinspo be the thinspo

15. buy clothes that make you look slimmer and emphasize your figure

16. Always stand up straight and elegantly as this will make you look purer, slimmer and more beautiful

17. don't disappoint Ana, she just want the best for you so listen to her

18. take before and after pictures to follow and realize your progress

19. zero drinks can cause your fat burning to stop and it is also unhealthy

20. Help a lot around the house (cleaning, tidying up,...) burns extra calories

21. Distract yourself from eating, be active and don't have time for eating! such as learning, drawing, playing, napping, ...

22. If you really want to eat something but don't allow yourself to, you can chew it and spit it out (you still swallow very few calories but not all of them!) its better than puking!!!

23. Cold burns calories but don't go out dressed too thin as you'll get sick more quickly than others

24. save calories! For example, if you want to eat toast, you can cut a slice in half into thin slices so you have a lid and a base made from one slice

25. always looking for excuses such as: I've already eaten, I'm going out to eat with friends, I have a stomach ache and the classic: I'm not hungry

26. buy clothes that are a size or 2 small so you are more motivated

#ana meal #tw disordered eating #ana bllog #thinspø #ana trigger #tw ed diet #tw ana diary #ed not ed sheeran #thin$po #ed not sheeren

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leebrontide · 1 year

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Best Practices for Communicating about the Climate Crisis

Communication Tips

Keep it local. Focusing on bringing local solutions. You can lean into community pride to help motivate community action. And while climate change may have global impacts, emphasizing local climate impacts and benefits of local policies will resonate with more people, and feel more approachable/doable.

Stay focused on solutions. While the consequences of climate change are dire, focusing too much on how bad things could get tends to make people feel overwhelmed, hopeless and cynical – which doesn’t help them get or stay involved. Try not to give more than 1 or 2 examples of local consequences of environmental issues, then dive into how this work provides solutions.

Include your audience. Instead of using “I” or “you”, talk about what “we” need to do to turn things around. This includes using “we” when you’re talking about the government, when appropriate - after all, the government is meant to be for and of our communities.

Lean into moral values. Most people agree that we have a moral responsibility to protect our environment’s health, stability and safety for future generations, so don’t be afraid to talk about that or other values that resonate with you about this work.

Focus on tangible gains. Things like “the economy” are important, but they don’t feel as immediate as combating rising costs, protecting their and their neighbors' health, and saving money. Paint them a picture of the prosperous, stable, livable city we can create.

Project a can-do attitude. A lot of people are feeling let down by leadership at all levels, and feeling hopeless and helpless about making change. So, it’s important that you show that you and others are out here willing to really do the work - and there’s room for them to join in. Also, be sure to talk about successes.

Don’t waste time on opponents. We can't get everybody on our side. However, there are enough people that are excited about the prospect of living in a safe, sustainable community, where everyone has clean air to breathe/water to drink and a family-sustaining job that we don't need to convert opponents.

Encourage investment. Rather than framing the changes we want in terms of the drudgery of having to adapt to a bad situation, try to build excitement in the possibilities we can invest in - together. Everyone likes to feel they’re getting in on an exciting, cutting edge investment. Relatedly, be wary of statements that make people feel like they’re going to lose, rather than gain, options. Remind people that our current systems are not only unhealthy, dirty, and dangerous - they’re also ineffective.

Create immediate avenues for action. Once you’ve built up some excitement about what we can do, give people an immediate step they can take to help. Give that positive energy somewhere to go and show them how good it can feel to get involved.

Focus on what you want people to do, not what you want them to stop doing. This helps people envision change, and makes them less nervous.

Communicate respect. Keep away from stereotypes and harmful words. And when you talk about other people, be careful not to put words in their mouths.

Remember, you're not just combating ignorance, you're combating hopelessness, helplessness, and burnout!

#climate crisis #climate change #green energy #activism #climate activism #Earth Day

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inbarfink · 9 months

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So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!

It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.

My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.

Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered.

He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.

That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.

Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!

Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.

With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has.

You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well.

You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again?

I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...

In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?

I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!

#undertale #ut #utdr #sans #sans undertale #sans ut #undertale analysis

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revvethasmythh · 7 days

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Have you witnessed discoursing about Orym in the past several months? Would you like to be more well-informed about the subject matter? Well, then, do I have a post for you! As a reference for myself and potentially for others:

A Comprehensive Write-Up Of Relevant Times And Contexts Where Orym Has Brought Up His Dead Family While The Group Discusses The Vanguard/Predathos--With Receipts

Disclaimer: these are all of the instances in which I was able to find independently through the Critical Role transcript search, not from rewatching everything. It is therefore possible there are some instances unaccounted for.

Episode 34. Post-resurrection after being killed by Otohan Thull, he brings up the fact that Otohan had a hand in killing his family to emphasize to Imogen how dangerous Otohan is and that she may potentially continue to be an issue for her specifically due to her apparent interest in Imogen (exalting her during the battle in the previous episode)

2. Episode 46. An early God Talk™️, prompted by Ludinus using (presumably) Feeblemind on Professor Kadija Sumal. He holds his opinion until the very end of the conversation, after entertaining Imogen's idea that "they make some good points" and listening to the group discuss if the gods are good or bad for several minutes.

"I don't need to debate it. I lost my husband and father to these people, I'm not on board. Some of the gods are terrifying, and some of them have put their thumbs on the scales for people for centuries, even in the last few decades. Who are they, who are we to decide who lives or dies, god or mortal or otherwise? I don't think they have any good points."

3. Episode 49. He brings them up combatively ("Well, Imogen, I wish. my family didn't have to die for their brighter tomorrow"), against Imogen's statement of, "What if it's not that bad? [...] What if what we're doing is just fighting change?" after she solely received a vision of a Utopia-like future from her mother. Imogen backs down quickly after his reproach and acknowledges that the vision was likely a part of cult brainwashing.

4. Episode 61. Orym pulls Prism aside, after she asks the party and Elder Abbadina if Predathos would cause a world-ending event, or if it would only be bad for some (the Elder did not know anything about Predathos at all), to say, "I don't think we know anything [...] The only thing I have to go on is the track record of the guys trying to bring Predathos out. And that track record is not very good." At further prompting from Prism about if he ever thought the Vanguard's ideas were right, he says, "Prism, I don't understand the gods. I don't know anything about the titans. I don't know an eidolon from eyeliner. [...] But I'm a widower, because of the people who want to bring this about. So it's hard for me to wrangle with the other side."

5. Episode 61, pt. 2. Orym listens to the party converse with Elder Abbadina for a little while longer before silently sneaking out "to go think about his dead father and his dead husband."

6. Episode 77. Another God Talk™️ with the whole party, prompted by FCG asking what everyone's motive was in going to the moon. For his reasoning, he says, "We don't know what's going to happen to any inch of this world if Predathos is unleashed. Yeah, this started with my husband and my father. It's so much bigger than that. If my life can secure the lives of everyone who comes after us, well spent."

7. Episode 92. After the death of another loved one to Otohan Thull, in response to Liliana's statement that temples might hunt down Ruidusborn in the theoretical event that Ludinus' plot is foiled, "Cold comfort for my family in the ground."

8. Episode 92, pt. 2. In response to a throwaway, thoughtless comment Ashton made that, "I hope [Liliana] is right. I really do. I hope her ends are fucking great because these means are just not forgivable." Orym has Chetney bring out Otohan's sword, jams one into the sand and declares, "This is the sword that killed my father and my husband. She is not right."

So, with all of the information in front of us, what conclusions can we draw from them? When asked by others to assess if the Vanguard has valid points, Orym repeatedly abstains from having an opinion. Whether or not the Vanguard has a reason to be upset is irrelevant to him--what is relevant is the loss of life they have incurred along the way. Orym takes no stance on the gods, he repeatedly states he doesn't understand them or know anything about them or harbor much of a connection to them. As far as he is concerned, his role in this is to oppose the violence being done to the people of Exandria. Why waste your time debating the merits of a cult's ideology when you know, in the end, you will have to fight against them to end the slaughter? To protect people?

And for what it's worth, in almost every instance, Ashton has effectively taken the same side as Orym. I have not included all of these moments, but they are easily located if you wanted to search up these moments on your own. The continual focus on de-legitimizing Orym's opinion seems strongly tied to the fact that he has a personal reason to hate the Vanguard. But facts being facts, Ashton hates them just the same--and he has no love of the gods, either. He hates the Vanguard based on their actions, same as Orym. In fact, Ashton and Laudna have both expressed outright dislike for the gods, and all other Bells Hells except for FCG expressed ambivalence. This is not about the gods. Not for Orym, not for the others who remain. This is about no more bodies on the pyre of Ludinus' machinations.

P.S. if you know of any other instances this topic has come up that I have not included, please feel free to let me know! I want this post to be as comprehensive as it can be, but I am fallible and may have missed something. Don't be afraid to tell me about a scene I missed!

#is this a little bit petty? yes #but also i genuinely did want all the info in one post for reference's sake #so hopefully this reference has helped others as well as decent compilation of information!#cr tag #I contemplated maintagging this. but. maybe that's a little too petty even for me #anyway the people who want to find this will probably find this. so.

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bdsmrist · 10 months

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gonna get a bit personal here, but as an actor it hurts me to see how ppl misinterpret a character as layered and nuanced as kim

now u might be wondering: girl wtf does being an actor have to do w lieutenant kitsuragi. well, i believe it to be the case that actors are storytellers. its our job to write in our characters studies what isnt in the script, to fill in the gaps, and portray that to the best of our abilities.

while in school, my professor’s always emphasized that as an actor, 100% of the time its more interesting when your characters motivations are rooted in love, rather than resentment. and i feel like too often i see ppl understand kim’s motivations be fueled by a desire to reject, protect himself, and detach himself from a world he resents.

now; thats not to say that isn’t entirely true. after all it is what the canon tells us explicitly: that he gave up on moralism, religion, etc, because he again and again was disappointed by the reality of elysium. therefore, that must mean that from there on out kim was a lost soul, that when coming to contact with harry’s spark, it lit his ambitions once more

and yes, to an extent, thats true, but its not the whole truth. to imply otherwise is very derivative. one of the things that makes kim such a compelling character is how he never stopped loving the world around him, *before* meeting harry. and even tho he limits how much he allows himself to indulge in it, it still bleeds through the cracks. hence, when he meets harry, he pours his devotion into the case, and in turn, into harry, without even knowing the guy

would a detached character have the patience and compassion he has for harry on day one? absolutely not. the man is borderline coddling to harry despite it all. and you can hear it in the performance!

jullian champenois’ voice is characterized by its mellow, soothing quality. hes gentle about it! and the actor made that choice for a reason! kim is a gentle person! he stands his ground, he sets boundaries, keeps u in course, and is nothing of a pushover. but regardless, his temperament is calm and reassuring. thats his function as a literary device! to contrast harry’s self-hatred and self-loathing with compassion and understanding!

think about it: would a character thats insistent on being a cold wall, sit on the swing-sets with harry for the pure purpose of just being there so harry doesnt have to confront that alone? if kim only wanted to keep people at an arms length, would he insist you two to be the ones to break the news to working class woman about her husband when ur at her doorstep? he said it himself; the precinct couldve handled it fine.

if kims actions were rooted in resentment towards an unfair world, would he be an instrument of justice for the rcm in the first place? kim, who verbatim despises the cops who become cops so they can use policing as an ego outlet?

kim kitsuragi cares. he cares very deeply, and i believe that the walls around him are a result of kim attempting to keep himself *in*, rather than keep others *out*. kim keeps HIMSELF on a short leash, because he knows that otherwise he’d go all in, just like harry.

harry and kim are at the opposite ends of the same spectrum of people that are too passionate for a world that does not reward such earnestness. therefore, harry copes with addiction, and kim copes with restrictions. regardless. its all comes back to love.

#y he dicho CASO CERRADO #pls stop implying harry taught kim to care oh so help me #kim kitsuragi #disco elysium #harry du bois #harrykim #kimharry #hdb

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ioniansunsets · 5 months

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heartsteel christmas dinner 👉👈 who brings what? i can picture Sett staying in the kitchen to prepare ham/turkey 🥰🥰

✖ Heartsteel Celebrating Christmas with You ✖

✖ Word Count: 1.1k

✖ Tags: Established R/S

✖ A/N: You host a Xmas party with your partner uwu (posting this early so maybe if you guys like this I’ll write another quick one for the afterparty and gift opening?)

----

Sett was the best person to celebrate with. Mama taught him well, he was there early in the morning, hells, he stayed over the night before. Up before the sun even rose, the two of you spent time lovingly together in the kitchen. Waking up early with Sett kissing the tip of your nose and carrying you to the toilet to freshen up. Trying to keep you awake as he holds your hand and leads you to the kitchen right after. Cooking up a mad delicious Christmas dinner, baking cookies and frosting them together, laughing as he held you close, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck, giggling together as frosting gets on his nose and his ears twitch in frustration. It was cold out, but with the oven heated up, his arms around your body and the two of you in sweaters Sett’s mom knitted. Maybe winter was even warmer than summer sometimes.

Kayn was a surprisingly thoughtful guy. He knows he can’t cook, he knows he can’t do any cute little handicrafts, he knows his limits. So he does what he does best, help out however he can. Sneaking into stores and buy whatever things you need last minute. Almost a challenge to him finding somewhere selling Christmas Cake and Turkey the day of and somehow still making it to the party early. Staying by your side and trying his best to do exactly as he’s told, you need dishes washed? Its your Christmas gift today, he’s on it. You need someone to decorate the tree? Easy, Rhaast is a surprisingly good at hanging ornaments on trees. You need motivation? Kayn has it covered. A cheeky smile, a soft kiss, loving words of support. He is there. (Hide the presents though, the one thing he doesn’t have is too much self control, Rhaast wants to know, Rhaast has to know, Rhaast found his gift hidden in the locked closet-)

K'Sante straight up tells you to take it easy today. He has friends and connections. You two have a private reservation to the best dinner spot at the roof of an expensive hotel. Sure having a Christmas party at home is sweet and humble but you’re his precious lover! And there was other opportunities to enjoy a warm homely holiday dinner together after you two get married. He was making sure you enjoyed all the glitz and glamor now, friends and family around the two of you, soft music playing in the background as the hotel staff handle all the food and drinks. He holds you close as the two of you overlook the city, lights sparkling both in the stars of the sky and across the ground as the lights in buildings, it was a sight to behold only emphasized by the soft kisses on the back of your neck and the warm hand wrapped around you.

Ezreal was known for holding the wildest of parties, everyone he knows was invited. So nothing was new when he said he would plan things, you just needed to show up and love him. It was a trademark Ezreal party alright. The largest and brightest tree you’ve ever seen set up by the fireplace, a potluck filled with all sorts of dishes from all his friends, decorations strewn across the room and gifts piled up so high in a corner it was almost its own tree, music so loud you heard it before you even stepped in. And when you did step in, eyes meeting his, he immediately blinks to your side, throwing himself at you in the tightest hug he’s given you in a while. A bright smile and a sparkle in his eyes before his lips meet yours, still almost embarrassing to be loved so brightly in front of everyone but at the same time so endearing to know how much he loves you to show you off like this. As everyone else talks loudly all around you, Ezreal sits by your side, one hand firmly clasped in yours under the table as he eats with the other.

Yone was more of a, “ I just want to spend time alone with you this weekend.” kind of guy. Something sweet and different about going out with him on a Christmas date, laughing together as you two go to ice skate (he tries and is graceful most of the time but when he trips and stumbles it is so cute), hands in yours as you two walk around in the evening, enjoying the lights as other sickly sweet couples walk past you. As the night comes and the air gets colder, he would hold you close, wrapping a scarf around you, hands wrapped around yours as he drives you to a dinner reservation in the heart of the city. Nothing too expensive but nothing to cheap either, it was a nice restaurant that he has brought you many times before, just that tonight there was a Christmas special menu, cute decor seen throughout the establishment as you two walk in. There was really just something nice about spending the whole day alone with each other for company. Maybe he was just old or sentimental, but he wouldn’t trade all this for anything.

Aphelios wants to be alone with you but at the same time, he loves his sister and band. So as a compromise, you two celebrate with Heartsteel at night but spend the morning in each others arms as he stays over the night before. Cold weather meant that snuggling up together as you wake up late, soft smiles and softer kisses in the warmth of the bed. Lazy mornings as Aphelios slowly gets up to get the two of you breakfast. With hot chocolate in one hand and some cute pastries in the other, soft music playing in the background, and your partner laying lovingly on your shoulder, this was truly the epitome of winter romance. Getting dressed together, adjusting each other’s hair and outfits, excitedly walking out of your place back to Heartsteel dorms to spend time with his family (both blood and non-blood related). Sure it was noisy with the other boys around, but when you two quietly sit on the couch, Aphelios could secretly admire you as your eyes light up, talking and interacting with everyone important to him. There was a soft of comforting silence enveloping his daydreams around you.

#Anon Answer #Shieda Kayn #Ezreal #K'Sante #Sett #Yone #Aphelios #Heartsteel x Reader #Heartsteel Kayn x Reader #Heartsteel Ezreal x Reader #Heartsteel K'Sante x Redaer #Heartsteel Aphelios x Reader #Heartsteel Yone x Reader #Heartsteel #DRABBLE #Merry Christmas with League Boys #i hope its not too weird lmfao i dont actually celebrate christmas past exchanging gifts sometimes HAHAHSODHAOD

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 4 months

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I like how anon makes it sound like you said pedophilia was okay when what you said was you didn't care what people write about fictional characters. Amazing

so what's being employed there is an extremely common tactic used by people trying to make their opposition sound like they're doing something that no reasonable person would agree with. accusations of pedophilia are extremely popular for this, since it's an issue that most people, understandably, are extremely opposed to and disgusted by, and very few people want to publicly label themselves as "guy who thinks pedophilia is fine." it's a tactic designed to put people on the defensive and (ideally) isolate them from potential support, which fortunately doesn't work on me because I'm not apologizing for something that wasn't wrong and I don't care who on this hellsite likes me.

it's the motivation behind the right's recently rekindled (although never entirely vanished) obsession with portraying trans people and drag performers, other queer people, and queer-friendly educators generally, as groomers who want to give children forbidden knowledge about sex that their parents don't approve of.

in the particular instance you're referencing, re: my anon, people will level accusations of "pedophilia" at fiction depicting anything from an adult sexually assaulting a child to two teenagers consensually having sex to someone in their 20s consensually hooking up with someone in their 40s. only one of those things - the first - is actually a depiction of pedophilia, and all three are things that people are perfectly allowed to write about without having to go before a tribunal to prove that their intentions are pure. it's also just fucking baffling to me that this is only applied to depictions of sex; if you assumed that every fictional depiction of murder or violence is an admission of actual desire to do such thing, writers would be getting rounded up in droves.

this hardly needs to be said, but: yes, I do find ring cameras - surveillance technology owned by a deeply evil megacorporation that abuses the rights of its employees and freely turns over camera footage to police - more objectionable than Octavia Butler's Parable of the Sower or Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita or Alissa Nutting's Tampa or any other fictional depictions of sex, because a book doesn't harm anyone and surveillance state police collusion does.

as someone lucky enough to teach youth sex education, with sessions focused especially on media literacy, teaching the self-advocacy skills to recognize potentially unsafe situations and the right to tell adults no, and emphasizing bodily autonomy, the entire thing is exhausting. which is the point, they very much want you to get so tired that you just stop saying anything, but once again I am an insane bitch who thrives on negativity so I shan't be stopping any time soon.

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kairiscorner · 10 months

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(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

ok but imagine miggy saying you're beautiful for the first time, like,

he never realized how long he's kept it to himself, how long he's been yearning to tell you those two words, three if he wanted to emphasize his point. could you blame him? he's a complete and total mess of a man around you, maybe not outwardly, but he's a nervous wreck whenever you're around. a simple touch or a quick smile in his direction from you is enough to lighten up his whole day–give him the patience and motivation to keep bearing these troubles he has to endure throughout the day.

he never really understood why his eyes would follow you on your way out of his office, he never really noticed until lyla pointed out how his pupils would dilate and he'd watch you leave his office with an increase in serotonin when he catches a glimpse of your hair, your eyelashes, your petal-like lips that looked so, so...

"kissable?" lyla would prompt, which made miguel snap out of it, dismissing her and arguing to her that all he thinks of you is just a delightful colleague–words he never realized he was capable of using together. "right... a delightful colleague who enters your dreams every night. say, what if i made them listen to a playback of your most recent dream about them–" "that won't be necessary." "and why not? you don't even have the cojones–" "don't say that." "you don't even have the guts to tell them what you think of them."

miguel hated how right lyla was, practically all the time–especially when it came to his feelings for you. he clicked his tongue as he thought it over, with lyla pretty much just telling him, "confess, you big dork," and with him cussing under his breath as he felt a little hotter in the room as he thought more and more about you–about your smile, the way your laugh echoed in his ears as you teased him for his eternal pout–and how small your hands felt against his when you accidentally placed your hand on his... oh how he wished those moments could last forever, instead of asking lyla to play it back for him as he smiles to himself. it kept him thinking on what'd change if he told you just how he saw you, how absolutely ethereal you were to him.

guess he'll just have to try and see what happens.

the next day, you came by his office again, and you were... oh goodness, you were so adorable the way you looked right then and there. your hair was messy, you were wearing a pair of glasses that were barely hanging on to your face–you had a pencil tucked behind your ear, and a huge grin on your face as you rambled to him about a successful mission and containment of a fickle anomaly you two were hunting for the longest time.

if only miguel could bury his face in the floor right then and there–the mask could only do so much to hide how he looked like when he saw you in your element, in your truest, rawest self–the you he fell for time and time again, and continues to fall for.

as you rambled to him, miguel clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms as he realized he was smiling when he heard you get excited, heard the cracking of your voice from so much glee at your victory–hearing the passion from your voice as he listened, he listened and tried to keep his poker face on, but you were too irresistible for him to keep it up–too cute to make him want to keep this stern front up.

"you're beautiful." he blurted out as he looked down to the floor, trying to soak up the details of the floor when all he wanted was to soak up the details of you. but looking at you now would be fatal for his facade, and he wanted to let you know he... oh who was he kidding? he appreciated every bit of you! he can't hide that love and longing for you, he wanted to let you know at least one bit of the multitude of things he believed you were. if you'd let him tell you, you would never hear the end of it��because you're constantly surprising him and making him fall deeper in love with you that his love becomes... endless for you.

whether or not you believe him is up to you, but he truly does believe you are beautiful. he looks up at you finally as you stopped talking and just stared at him, with a look of embarrassment on his face as he tried to remain confident in himself as his self-assurance was dissipating. "you're really beautiful..." he repeated as he stepped forward towards you and stroked your cheek. he smiled, and widely this time. he wasn't going to hide it anymore, he loved you. he loved you and knew you were the most beautiful person he had ever, and will ever, meet in his whole life. hopefully... you believed him, and hopefully... you felt the dame way, too.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @luvstarrstruck

#miguel o'hara #atsv #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #atsv x reader #atsv fluff #atsv imagines #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader #atsv x y/n #atsv x you

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yumeka-sxf · 5 months

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A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 20

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

After Yor meets Yuri on the train, she's reminded of the fact that he's "all grown up" and doesn't need her to take care of him anymore.

As I described in Part 8, earning enough money to support Yuri was the main reason Yor became an assassin. Since she didn't have the luxury to pursue anything worthwhile for herself, taking care of and being useful to others became her main focus in life. But since Loid and Anya don't benefit from her assassin work, and now Yuri doesn't either, she begins wondering why she needs to continue doing it. This question is reinforced a few times later: first, when they're on the train and she realizes how much she enjoys being with Loid and Anya as a family, without having to worry about work. And again, during her initial meeting with Olka.

When Olka tells her that she wants to get away from the dangerous life of a gangster to a peaceful, quiet life, Yor takes a moment to reflect on those words, as they were the same thoughts she had on the train earlier – thoughts of what it would be like to live a normal life with your family without all the fears and dangers that come along with being involved in the underworld.

Olka asks Yor why she's so worried about her family discovering her identity since they're just a cover-up family, which leads to a softly emphasized scene of Yor with a noticeably sad expression, as she reluctantly admits that, yes, they are a family just for show.

We know from previous episodes, like the cooking lesson and post-Fiona date, that Yor has since realized that being in the Forger family makes her happy, despite the fact that they're a "fake" family. However, she doesn't know if Loid and Anya feel the same way, especially Loid. For all she knows, he's letting her live with him as his wife more as a favor to her, and because it's convenient for their front at Eden, and not because he personally finds happiness in the arrangement. While he did tell her during their previous date that he wants her to continue playing the role of Anya's mother and his wife, Yor doesn't know whether he feels the same happiness being together as a family like she does.

Yor becomes even more motivated to help Olka when the latter mentions that she's left so much of her old life behind her now.

Perhaps her eagerness to help Olka comes from her sad resignation to the fact that she herself can't attain the kind of life Olka is heading towards, so at the very least, she wants to make sure Olka can attain it.

Meanwhile, we see just how much Twilight's spy work has "traumatized" him, to the point of being on total high alert on the ship even though Sylvia specifically ordered him to relax. Not only was he immediately suspicious of the lottery for the cruise ticket, but even after he's on the ship, his ever-calculating mind can't help but imagine the worst scenarios. He begins looking out for any signs of terrorism and dubious behavior, much to Anya's dismay.

However, thanks to her coaxing, he catches himself and makes a conscious effort to turn off the "spy mode" in his brain (as much as he can anyway).

Later, we see Yor being nervous when having dinner with the executives, obviously not comfortable in such a formal situation and still afraid that she'll be spotted by Loid and Anya. However, when given a task she knows best – assassination work – we get to see a side of Yor that has yet to be fully highlighted in the series…a side that's serious and confident, without her usual doubts and hesitations.

Her social awkwardness and uncertainties disappear as she takes on a total "in-charge" demeanor when guiding Olka and company back to the room. But Olka has spent enough time with the underworld crowd to see that, while Yor is very good at her work, it doesn't suit the sweet, gentle person that she really is. Even before the real danger starts, Olka tells her that she doesn't seem like the underworld type, and even suggests that she spend time with her family when the ship stops at the resort. Olka must have sensed from Yor's hesitation and sad expression in their previous conversation that she truly cares about them.

It's unfortunate that Yor doesn't have a permanent confidant like Olka – someone who not only knows her true identity as an assassin, but also senses that she has real feelings for what should be a "fake" family…and is supportive of that in her own subtle way. Twilight has Franky, and Sylvia somewhat, as people who know him as both a spy and as a (fake) family man. But even though they're not openly supportive of the fact that he's catching feelings for his family, they're still people he can not only confide in without having to hide his true identity, but they care about Anya's well being too. Yor doesn't have anyone like that. While Shopkeeper and McMahon know her true identity, her relationship with them seems to be strictly business. So, as brief as her time with Olka is, it was good for Yor to finally converse with someone who understands her inner feelings that she herself is having trouble realizing.

While Anya and Twilight are having dinner later, Anya mentions that it's been a while since they've eaten dinner without Yor, to which Twilight comments that it does seem lonely without her. He could have replied with any number of less melancholic responses ("It does feel weird" or "She must be very busy" to name a few). So the fact that his first thought was how lonely it felt does seem to indicate a momentary lapse in his spy facade, to which Anya rightfully calls him out and he immediately tries to deny it (with a slight but telling blush).

When they visit the gift shop, we see that Twilight is still having trouble learning how to find enjoyment on the trip, despite the fact that Sylvia made it an official mission. It's tragic to think that even when given orders to have a relaxing family vacation, he simply can't turn off the suspicions and anxiety in his mind. But his anxiousness about people potentially eavesdropping on him soon changes to concern about Anya's mental health. Similar to when he took her to work and had her play in the sandbox, he completely misinterprets her actions as displays of emotional trauma.

I love the interpretation from @sunfoxfic about this side of Twilight's character, to quote:

"His trauma really grounds every action he takes - everything he does is to protect others from experiencing the same trauma. Loid is a highly pragmatic and sympathetic man, and in that way, he's unwaveringly kind to everyone but himself."

Just like the sandbox incident, the scene with Anya at the gift shop is a prime example of Twilight's empathetic side that he keeps hidden from everyone else. Only we as the audience know how much he agonizes about the well-being of those who may have experienced similar trauma as he did. Since Anya's reactions make no sense to him, he can't help but conclude that she has her own share of deep-rooted trauma as well. And, as I've reiterated many times before, rather than express anger or blame her for anything, he puts responsibility on himself to do a better job at trying to understand her. And all of this relates back to what he told Desmond during their first encounter…that he won't stop trying to understand others.

While Yor is keeping watch that night, she has plenty of time to reflect on what happened the day before. As she sits there for hours in silence, we see that her expression has taken on the "robotic" look she had at the very beginning of the series "pre-family," back when her assassination work was all she focused on in her life. This is probably the longest amount of time she's had to continually concentrate on work since meeting Loid and Anya, so it makes sense that her eyes would start to harden like that.

However, when she realizes that she never tried to contact them, her eyes immediately light up as she imagines a scenario where she meets up with them on the ship.

She then starts to wonder why she was hesitating so much when fighting Barnaby. She thinks it could be because she was afraid, not of death or pain, but the fact that if she had gotten seriously injured, she may have had to leave the Forger family. This makes her think back to when Olka asked her why she was so concerned about them since they're just a cover-up family. As I've previously mentioned, Yor has come to realize that being with Loid and Anya makes her happy, but she's also resigned herself to the fact that that happiness can be taken away from her at any minute. So far the biggest threat to her place in the Forgers has been Fiona, but she was able to remedy that by talking with Loid. But this time the threat comes from something where talking isn't an option: an important job from Garden. This is why she tells herself that she needs to keep her priorities straight – as far as she's concerned, her personal happiness is secondary compared to the importance of the job at hand. As she continues to think about the people whose happiness she strives for – Yuri, Loid, and Anya – the same thought she had upon meeting Yuri on the train comes back to her…if none of the people she loves benefit from her assassin work, then why does she need to keep it up?

Continue to Part 21 ->

<- Return to Part 19

#spy x family #spy family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #twiyor #sxf analysis #sxf meta #loid x yor #loidyor

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luvtak · 7 months

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here, there, and everywhere ✦ lee felix

✦ pairing felix x gn!reader

✦ genre/tw angst, fluff, hurt-comfort, jealousy, a little bit of tears lol, two people so in love it's disgusting and perfect, pet names galore, kissing, obnoxious attempts at being poetic, being in love is complicated and sad and also simple and wonderful!

✦ w/c 1234

✦ a/n ginger write something other than hurt-comfort challenge failed. i wrote half of this with no motivation three weeks ago and the rest in an hour, i hope you like it LMAO! reader and felix were written as the same couple from baby i'm yours, but you don't need to have read it to understand this at all!! as always named after one of my favorite songs, its so easy to write for felix, he really is a love song come to life<33

masterlist

Sometimes you wonder if Felix know’s how precious he is; sweet and soft-hearted; void of any ill intent or toxicity, a boy oozing love.

He’s a wonderful son, a charming brother, and an even better friend–syrupy sweet and unbelievably likable to anyone who comes into contact with him, and most of the time that's a blessing, but it can also be a curse.

Of course he’s stunning and lovely, and rationally you know you shouldn’t be upset. That girl at the restaurant meant nothing by looking at him, meant nothing by smiling and definitely was not hitting on him when she asked if you were his partner. At least that’s what he says, vehemently denying and believing that this stranger had no ill-intent, but you know better. From the minute she blinked her pretty eyes at him, you knew she was flirting, and nothing could convince you otherwise. Not your boyfriend's warmth pressing into yours or the moonlit smiles he sent your way, nothing.

You can tell it’s making him sad, this quiet, jealous version of you. You wish you could stop it just to ease his concern, but the green poison is sitting deep in your belly, and you’re positive if you open your mouth nothing good will come from it.

He’s so lovely and you hate that other people can tell. Your love has always been so private, so deep and true it could only be described as intimate. Sometimes, you forget that he exists outside of his place next to you, forget that other people can see him and fawn over his heaven made features.

“I love you, you know.” His voice is shaky, nerves surrounding his every move. You hate to hurt him; hate second guessing every word he says and every glance he’s given to pretty waitresses, but sometimes quiet love is harsh. Sometimes the intimacy of love behind closed doors creates gaps for someone to pass through, and on nights where your trust ebbs, you really wish your love was loud.

You wish you could show it to others, tell anyone who could be listening how much you loved him, but you can’t. Maybe at first it was his job, but slowly, over time you had to learn that loving Felix had to be tender–his heart had to be held like a flower, too tight and you’ll crush the petals. It’s why it feels so wrong to be jealous, he would never do anything to hurt you; physically and emotionally, he would keep you safe.

When you arrived home, sulky and pouting and praying to any god who would listen to you, please, please take these thoughts away, Felix looked at you and knew it was time to intervene. Pressing you close to his heart and rubbing slow circles on your back.

“I know, I love you too.”

“No, I mean it, baby. I love you.” He enunciates the words, emphasizing his point with three kisses on your brow. You relish in his affection, it comes so easy to him… for Felix love is simple, it’s blowing out candles and mornings spent sharing heat, buying warm gloves and letting you hog the covers. Felix was made to love, grew up cherished and treasured and now he treats his people the same.

Mostly, he was made to love you as quietly or as loudly as you wanted him too–he could be your sun, scorching and bright and all encompassing, or he could be your moon: big and beautiful and comforting.

You know he loves you, and hearing him say it doesn’t release the green monster from your belly, but it does remind you how lucky you are that this star boy chose you.

Your shaky arms tighten around his torso and the fast beat of his heart releases the tears waiting at your waterline. Something about his honest truth breaking and mending your heart all at once.

“I’m sorry, Lixie, I wish I could love you as good as you love me… you’re everything, maybe if you were less I could talk about it more, but it’s true I love you so much.” The tears are fast now, racing down your cheeks like raindrops on a window, and you think he’s crying too. All ten of his fingers are clutching at you, holding onto you for dear life and you don’t think he’ll ever let go… god please don’t let him ever let go.

“I’m not going anywhere, my love, I promised a forever didn’t I?” you could never forget the memory, his pinky wrapped around yours and crossing his heart that he’d stay. He’s an earnest boy, as honest as they make them, and he’s never broken a pinky swear.

In many ways it makes you sad that one pretty girl made you feel like this, you can be insecure and unsure of many things, but never of him. It wasn’t the flirting or her twinkly eyes, it was her confidence in appreciating him: outloud and undeniable. Even after loving him so deeply for so long, you’ve found it difficult to scream it from the rooftops. Instead, you pack his lunch and make sure his hot cocoa won’t burn his tongue, you kiss him three times for luck, and you're always the first to praise him. No, you could never yell it out, but you’ve wished for him everyday and if he thinks it’s enough then it is.

“Don’t worry about random girls, honey, my love isn’t fragile.” He says it with a fluorescent smile, so beautiful and so him that little by little it calms the wasps in your brain.

“I’m sorry, I was being silly. You’re just too pretty, I’m sick of other people being able to see you.” Through his tears, the star studded boy laughs–a big, body shaking laugh that takes you with it. Giggles through kisses and teeth clashing, too tight hugs that steal all the air out of your lungs and passing it back to him.

This is love, quiet or loud, this is it–sharing breath and smiles and knowing he’s yours.

You used to think people couldn’t belong to each other, but Felix’s heart is tied right to yours–chambers interlaced and arteries working together to keep you alive. Every bit of you is caged up with him, locked in tight together; dead-bolted and keys thrown away. You care for him quietly, but everything about your heart is loud–beating for him, faster and faster each day you share together.

Releasing you from his hold and looking right into your heart-shaped eyes, he tells you not to be sorry; you’re too pretty to be sorry, baby and you know he’s making it better–Another kiss cure to mend the broken day. Soft smooches pressed all over your laughing face and down the side of your neck, a million ways to say thank you.

When he releases you, he’ll be as bright as the sun–he’ll nurse your heart back to health and tuck you in tight under the covers. Humming sweet songs and hoping you have sweet dreams, three kisses goodnight for each year you’ve spent together.

Tomorrow, he’ll tease and joke and love you endlessly, his devotion is as blaring as yours is hushed; changing your life with a wave of his hand and reminding you everyday that to love is to make magic–wishing on every constellation atop his nose that forever comes quick.

#skz fluff #skz angst #felix x reader #skz imagines #skz x reader #felix fluff #felix angst #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #felix #skz #lee felix #skz felix #✧ drabble

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cantsayidont · 5 months

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Despite its protestations of progressive values, STAR TREK media has always explicitly presented (and, with only fleeting exceptions, consistently celebrated) the Federation as an expansionist imperial power, engaged in a large-scale project of colonialism.

The usual apologia/rationalization for this, both from the franchise itself and from its fans, is that the Federation is also a post-scarcity socialist utopia. However, that is expressly not the case in TOS, despite the attempts of the later series to insist otherwise.

Indeed, the plots of some of the most famous and acclaimed episodes of TOS are specifically about resource extraction and ensuring the Federation's access to crucial resources, including lithium (in "Mudd's Women"), pergium (in "The Devil in the Dark"), and dilithium (in "Mirror, Mirror," et al). We are told repeatedly that the Enterprise has a mandate to use force to secure these resources if gentler methods fail. Moreover, while the Federation has a strategic interest in these resources, it's clear at various points in TOS that their extraction and exploitation are, to a significant extent if not exclusively, overseen by private interests for profit. For instance, in "Mudd's Women," Harry Mudd remarks:

Well, girls, lithium miners. Don't you understand? Lonely, isolated, overworked, rich lithium miners! Girls, do you still want husbands, hmm? Evie, you won't be satisfied with a mere ship's captain. I'll get you a man who can buy you a whole planet. Maggie, you're going to be a countess. Ruth, I'll make you a duchess. And I, I'll be running this starship. Captain James Kirk, the next orders you're taking will be given by Harcourt Fenton Mudd!

In "The Devil in the Dark," Kirk ultimately takes a regulatory position — he will not permit the pergium miners to kill the Horta or continue to destroy her eggs — but at no point does he suggest that stopping the pergium production that threatens the Horta is a viable or even acceptable alternative. The accord he proposes is contingent on the Horta's agreement that she and her children will support the mining efforts on her planet, since Kirk emphasizes that "a dozen planets" are depending on the miners to supply needed pergium. (What would have happened to her if she hadn't agreed is not stated, but the episode strongly suggests that she would have been severely punished for noncompliance with Kirk's mediated solution: forcibly relocated to some kind of Horta reservation away from the main mining operations, perhaps.) When the Horta does agree to this proposal, Kirk assures Vanderberg, "you people are going to be embarrassingly rich," which once again suggests that while the miners may have contractual agreements to delivery pergium to Federation worlds, they are still a private, for-profit business, not a Federation department or nationalized entity.

Profit is also Ron Tracey's motivation for breaking the Prime Directive in "The Omega Glory": He believes that he's discovered a "fountain of youth" that he can own, monopolize, and exploit, and that the value of that resource will be enough to buy his way out of legal trouble for his regulatory violations.

We mostly don't see the Enterprise crew handle money except on away missions in other cultures or times, but there are a number of indications that the Federation in this era has not abandoned money: For instance, Harry Mudd's list of past offenses includes purchasing a space vessel "with counterfeit currency," while in "The Apple," Kirk rhetorically asks if Spock knows how much Starfleet has invested in him, which Spock begins to answer, "One hundred twenty-two thousand two hundred …" before Kirk cuts him off. More tellingly, in "I, Mudd," we have the following exchange:

KIRK: All right, Harry, explain. How did you get here? We left you in custody after that affair on the Rigel mining planet. MUDD: Yes, well, I organized a technical information service bringing modern industrial techniques to backward planets, making available certain valuable patents to struggling young civilizations throughout the galaxy. KIRK: Did you pay royalties to the owners of those patents? MUDD: Well, actually, Kirk, as a defender of the free enterprise system, I found myself in a rather ambiguous conflict as a matter of principle. SPOCK: He did not pay royalties. MUDD: Knowledge, sir, should be free to all. KIRK: Who caught you? MUDD: That, sir, is an outrageous assumption. KIRK: Yes. Who caught you? MUDD: I sold the Denebians all the rights to a Vulcan fuel synthesizer. KIRK: And the Denebians contacted the Vulcans.

Whether Deneb is a member of the Federation at this time is unclear, but Vulcan certainly is, and so we may assume that Vulcan and presumably the Federation itself are also part of "the free enterprise system."

The first indication that the Federation does not use money is in STAR TREK IV, and it's not obvious there if Kirk's remark that "They're still using money" is talking about money more broadly or just physical currency, which the Federation may have phased out even if it still uses credit or electronic transfers of monetary value. (Certainly, McCoy's attempt in STAR TREK III to charter a starship indicates that he had some means of paying for passage, since the captain of the ship specifically demands more money upon learning of the intended destination.)

If we accept at face value the assertion of TNG and DS9 that the Federation has genuinely abandoned the use of money, rather than simply going cashless, the most reasonable Watsonian explanation is that this has been a relatively recent development during the 70–80 years between the TOS cast movies and TNG, most likely related to the development of replication technology (which the Federation did not yet have in Kirk's time).

Of course, from a Doylist standpoint, we could chalk up some of this incidental dialogue to the franchise's evolving construction of its own setting, in the same manner as anomalous references to Vulcans as "Vulcanians." Roddenberry and his apologists might also insist that he always meant to depict a socialist utopia, but was prevented by the nattering nabobs of negativity (i.e., the network's BS&P); I'm very skeptical of such claims, but the writers were acutely aware that depicting what Earth is like in Kirk's time would be opening a can of worms, which is why we didn't actually see 23rd century Earth (even briefly) until the movies.

However, the focus on resource extraction and its ramifications is such a load-bearing story element in TOS that the revisionist assertion that the Federation was already a post-scarcity socialist utopia in Kirk's time (as both DISCOVERY and STRANGE NEW WORLDS have attempted to claim) would require really substantial retcons of the original show, perhaps to the extent of insisting that some of those events never took place at all, or happened radically differently than what's in the TOS episodes most STAR TREK fans have seen. For me, anyway, that crosses a line from willing suspension of disbelief to "don't trust your lying eyes," and suggests a frustrating and somewhat disturbing determination to insist that TOS is something much purer and nobler than it is rather than grapple with its actual conceptual flaws and ideological shortcomings.

#teevee #star trek #star trek tos #james t kirk #harcourt fenton mudd #spock #gene roddenberry #i love tos -- truly -- but it doesn't claim to depict a utopia #and its hypocrisies and moral failings are substantial #i am very disgruntled by strange new worlds and discovery #because they clearly WANT to redo tos #but rather than rebooting it to align with their current vision #they've opted for this revisionist death-by-a-thousand-retcons approach

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chosetherose · 4 days

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Two Graves One Gun

So Long London continues the saga of celebrity versus soul. The only way to cure Taylor’s sadness is for her to bid farewell to bearding, and perhaps the closet.

If you can look past the red herrings in this song, you will find a deeply layered masterpiece that illuminates Taylor's battle with herself; how past plans made to maintain her celebrity have marred her soul. She doesn't want to live life like this anymore and is willing to burn her brand down to the ground to free her soul.

As always, the analysis I've written here is only one interpretation of this song. I'm not claiming it is "correct" but I encourage you to plow through (this is a very long post) and consider what I've laid out.

For context, I believe London is a metaphor for bearding. Here is some background for the new folks:

For most of her career, Taylor’s beards have been from the UK. Specifically, from 2012-2023 her beards were Harry Styles then Calvin Harris then Tom Hiddleston then Joe Alwyn.

The beginning of this stage was right around the time she started crossing over into pop music. Red is her first real leap into pop music and to do this successfully she needs to expand both domestically (to pop audiences that don't listen to country music) and internationally (her first opportunity for this since the rest of the world doesn't listen to much country music).

She started bearding with Harry Styles in late 2012, within weeks of Red's release then milks that short lived stunt for 1989 as well. What a way to capture a new pop audience made up of fans abroad and at home. Rinse and repeat until her priority changes to long-term privacy and she finds that aided by an unknown actor named Toe. Even though Taylor's current beard is American, suffice to say one can look at London as a metaphor for bearding given history.

[Intro]

So (So) long (Long), London (London) [repeated]

Pay attention to how she sings this...She breaks "London" into "Lon" and "Don".

So SO / Long LONG / Lon LON / Don DON

This is a sneakily beautiful way to emphasize: So! Long! Don(e)! ...Like "I've been bearding for so long and I'm done with it" or "So long, bearding! I'm done!" Yes, this is a reach but read the rest of this post and circle back. As this intro closes the final "Don(e)!" fades into the upticked beat.

[Verse 1]

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

My spine split from carrying us up the hill

Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill

I stopped trying to make him laugh, stopped trying to drill the safe

Taylor seeing fairy lights through the mist sounds like she sees daylight at the end of a tunnel opaque from lavender haze. She keeps focused on this goal, carrying on with all these beards over the years. Although she's able to appear calm during these stunts, living life like this has forged a rift within herself. She beards because it's advantageous for her brand but her soul despises the ruse.

Side note: “Keep Calm and Carry On was a motivational poster produced by the Government of the United Kingdom in 1939 in preparation for World War II.” -Wikipedia. A bit of history that I think furthers the idea that Taylor was battling to keep going.

Tayor has to balance these aspects of herself continually - Too much stunting? Her soul needs a break. Had a good break from stunting? She needs to feed the grocery line Swifties to keep them at bay. It's an idea that got me thinking about yin and yang, "an opposite but interconnected, self-perpetuating cycle." (Wiki). I am not an expert on this concept but I know I've noticed it has come up throughout conversations about TTPD. If yin and yang is relevant for this album, as I believe it is in multiple songs, in the context of this verse it feels related to Taylor's constant need to find balance between the celebrity version of herself we see on our screens and the true version of herself only she can see in the mirror.

This cycle wears on Taylor so much that her spine splits from the weight. She has been slogging through stunts, dreaming of freedom, for years. It's been storming so long her clothes are soaked and she feels the chill down in her bones.

Because of the pain she decides to change strategy. Theres no more attempts to make her situation lighter or find ways to deal with it. And think about this - if you're trying to drill the safe open it means either A) you feel like you've tried all the codes and are resorting to brute force, and/or B) you're running out of time and growing desperate. Taylor is past even those points and is giving up entirely.

[Chorus]

Thinking how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

Oh, the tragedy

So long, London

You’ll find someone

The chorus reminds me of talking to a past version of yourself that made plans for a future you. We know Taylor must plan her life years in advance so perhaps she is asking her past self something like, “Why did you think I could handle continued bearding? Did you really think I could handle all the sadness I'm feeling today?”

Then I think the second half of this chorus is saying goodbye to bearding, symbolized by London, because she can’t bear the sadness anymore. Maybe the "you'll find someone" line is aimed at the fans a la "you should find another guiding light" like you guys will find someone else to fawn over in the tabloids.

Side note: I love the double entendre here. Because so long means goodbye but it has also been so long that she’s been bearding (largely with British men).

[Verse 2]

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out

I founded the club she's heard great things about

I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath

I stopped CPR, after all, it's no use

The spirit was gone, we would never come to

And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

I don't have a strong opinion on the first two lines of this version. What comes to mind is she didn't opt in to be an openly LGBTQIA+ artist, she chose to closet and beard. Then other younger closeted celebrities have looked to her as a blueprint.

In the process of bearding for stardom, her soul abandoned all she knew. I think there is a red herring here as Heath could reference Hampstead Heath (which has connections to Toe) but it’s also continuing on the house theme that Taylor sings about. Here, it doesn’t sound like this house is a home. She’s not singing about chandeliers flickering inside, it’s “the” house by a heath -- “Heathland is characterized by plants such as heather, bilberry, gorse and bracken, which occur on infertile and well-drained soils. Open heaths have been highly modified by humans for centuries and are maintained by grazing or cutting.” She’s stuck somewhere that’s by drained her via death by a thousand cuts lol.

Again, it's weighed on her. So she's decided to stop trying to revive the disconnect between her soul and her celebrity, it’s no use trying anymore. She’s realized they could never fully come together.

And she’s pissed off she let her celebrity rob her of an open, free, youth where she could live truthfully. Recall that in Peace she sings, “a coming of age has come and gone” which to me means she feels she can’t explain a coming out via a youthful awakening angle. She’s at the age where people will understand she’s known this for years but hasn’t shared with the world. This will raise questions she won’t be able to answer because it’s all too tangled (NDAs, outing beards, etc.).

[Chorus]

For so long, London/ Stitches undone

Two graves, one gun

I'll find someone

For so long, she’s been bearding, stunting, hiding her true self to reach and/or maintain celebrity. It’s caused her stitches to come undone. This wording is interesting because it implies she had a wound from living this life hiding her truth, they tried to fix her up as her celebrity status soared, but it didn’t work because the sadness was too great.

Perhaps there's two graves and one gun because on the path to daylight she will kill both her celebrity and the sadness of her closeted self. Not how she switches from "you" will find someone to "I" will find someone. This is because she will destroy every version of herself that she's ever known if she comes out one day. She will rise like a Phoenix through the ashes to discover a new version of herself in the daylight.

Note that the Spotify clip for this song, from the Fortnight video, feels significant. First, Taylor looks up toward the daylight. Then, with heavy breaths and a concerned face, she rifles through her art (words written out on a typewriter). We know in the rest of this scene she is lighting her art on fire. Two graves one gun on a path to daylight.

[Bridge Part 1]

And you say I abandoned the ship

But I was going down with it

My white-knuckle dying grip

Holding tight to your quiet resentment

I imagine these first lines of the bridge to be aimed toward those in her life, on her team, etc. that steered her toward closeting to gain/keep fame. Maybe she has plans and they are saying by coming out she is abandoning the ship (her celebrity) they've all worked hard to build. In Miss Americana we heard her team tell her that coming out as a Democrat would halve the numbers of her next tour. Can you imagine what would be said about a coming out?

But what they don’t understand is that living this life is killing her. She’s been holding on to all the subtle ways they’ve told her over the years that her career will sink if she comes out of the closet.

[Bridge Part 2]

And my friends said it isn't right to be scared

Every day of a love affair

Every breath feels like rarest air

When you're not sure if he wants to be there

When she confides with her friends about it all they tell her she shouldn’t be afraid to take steps toward the daylight because look where she is now. She’s been stunting for years (love affairs in the tabloids) and it's awful for her. So terrible that she's grasping for breaths, unsure if she can still survive in this atmosphere (thin/rare air means its not a hospitable environment for Taylor).

[Chorus]

So how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

How much tragedy?

Just how low did you think I'd go

Before I'd self-implode?

Before I'd have to go be free?

Again, I think she’s talking to her past self here. “How could I have thought I’d survive sinking this low? How could I not realize I’d reach a point where I’d self-implode?” Which here, self-implosion is telling a similar story as I think the two graves one gun lyrics do — the result of the self implosion is being free. If she blows up her celebrity and she will be free to live her truth, curing the sadness that has been ruling her life for years.

[Verse 3]

You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days

And I'm just getting color back into my face

I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place

I imagine this verse is aimed at her fans, the grocery line Swifties who believe her beards are real boyfriends. I read “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues?” as a sarcastic jab because she’s been screaming 🌈 for whoever is willing to listen. The fans claim to love Taylor but they aren’t willing to really listen to her.

Most people here “altar” and think of a wedding but the definition is much broader, “In religion, a raised structure or place that is used for sacrifice, worship, or prayer” (Wiki). So Taylor was up on the altar, a place of worship, waiting for clues that these fans actually loved her. But what started as worship became sacrifice as these fans never found love for who Taylor really is all the while the bearding and hiding were causing Taylor deep sadness.

Despite all this, she loves her job and her fans. The sadness is too much though. She is about to self implode and feels its time to take steps toward a brighter future. It’s maddening as hell to metaphorically blow up your life just as your fame is escalating to new heights you’ve reached for your whole career.

[Chorus]

For so long, London (So long, London)

Had a good run A moment of warm sun But I'm not the one So long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun You'll find someone

For so long, she bearded. She had a good run, getting away with it all, reaching levels of fame she always dreamed of. But she's not the one to keep the charade going (as opposed to her heroes who unfortunately 'died' closeted). Goodbye, bearding. The wound was too big to fix. With one action, I will kill the version of myself you (the fans) know and the version of myself I know. You (the fans) will find someone else to worship.

...

I could keep tweaking this theory for weeks but these are my initial thoughts on this song about two weeks out from TTPD's release. This album is incredible complex but for me the signs we keep getting are all pointing toward significant change. There is a momentum going right now that I haven't felt since the early Lover era. No matter what happens or how long it takes, I hope our fearless Chairman gets the chance to bask in the sun shiniest daylight. She deserves the warmth.

💕 CTR

#forgive me there are probably minor edits needed #but #I can’t proofread this again I just need to press post

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