Tumgik
#i want these two to interact more so bad
sp3akfromtheart · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
his ass is NOT listening!!!
116 notes · View notes
charmallows · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
tender loving care ❤
110 notes · View notes
juriyuna · 3 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i'm sorry but kei's ghost wanting to kill shii not once, not twice, but two thousand times immediately made me think of
Tumblr media
20 notes · View notes
sorrinslays · 1 month
Text
Gepard's role in the story
(crack theory territory)
So, I'm sure I'm not the only one that noticed, but Gepard is extremely underused in the story, which is such a shame?
Like, I counted the times we see him in the main story and it's disappointing. We (Astrall Express Crew) see him at the start after Sampo ditches us, where he takes us to Cocolia and all, then we see him again at the end of the story when he's trying to stop us because he believes we are trying to harm the Supreme guardian and he fights us and his Sister and that's it. We don't see him again.
Then, when Topaz comes to Jarillo VI he is there for two scenes again. One where he tries to stop Topaz and gets ambushed and one at the end where he stops a woman from getting crushed to death.
Even in 'his' (Serval's) companion quest, he takes the backseat. Sure, the story was about Serval and her getting over Cocolia and Gepard's role was him just trying to show Serval that she is still needed in Belobog, but honestly they could've done more with him.
I think people forget that he doesn't know the truth of what really happened to Cocolia? (as far as I'm aware at least). Can you imagine if he learned the truth? The mental breakdown that he'll experience?
This man has been serving her for the better part of a decade. He was spoon-fed propaganda like that Underworlders are 'wild' (an item description mentions that he had to fight 'wild Underworlders' I'm pretty sure) and blindly following the Supreme Guardian's orders for years. How is he supposed to react when he learns that those 'necessary sacrifices' of his fellow guards was just an excuse to get rid of more Belobogians for the 'dream' the Stellaron promised Cocolia.
Don't forget, he knew those people. They were friends, comrades, people he saw everyday. And all of them were dying on the daily and he was powerless to do anything.
And when he learns the truth, how is he gonna react to Bronya's decision to cover it up? Were the deaths of his friends in vain? Do their families not deserve to know the truth as to why their loved ones died? How much blood does the late Supreme Guardian have on her hands? How much of it has transferred to Bronya? How much blood does Gepard have on his hands because he never questioned his orders?
Point is, he is so important to Belobog, he's the Goddamn Captain of the only military service they have there, obviously he is needed! So why underuse him so much?
Well, this is where we move more into theory territory. I think it ties in with a future Belobog quest that Black Swan's companion quest hinted at (at the end during Sampo's and Sparkle's conversation).
Since Gepard has been on the backburner, we have yet to see Sampo and Gepard interacting and the fact Sampo still doesn't have a companion quest even though he is an important lore character I think all of that will happen in the future.
I think it would work best as a quest without the Astral Express Crew, like the new POV mechanic or the cut aways used in the Loufu for Dan Heng. We could play as Gepard or Sampo as they are forced to work together for whatever reason.
We could play as Gepard as something big happens in the restricted zone (AKA the catastrophe Sparkle teased Sampo about). Maybe he gets informed about it (maybe we get a new 4* character that's a guard that informs Gepard) and when he makes it there, Sampo is already here, as if expecting it.
Maybe Bronya calls Gepard to her office after an anonymous tip was sent to her warning the Silvermane Guards of a catastrophe coming to Belobog. Maybe he is tasked with finding who sent the note as well as prepering for said catastrophe, which is how he runs into Sampo, having the two working together.
Maybe we play as Sampo, leaving clues for the Silvermane guards until we reveal ourselves, getting that 5* version. Maybe we are the one pushing the puzzle pieces so they fit on their own or maybe all through the quest we keep cutting back to a game of chess between Aha and Sampo, showing the unpredictable nature of the catastrophe as it was orchestrated by Aha just for shits and giggles.
Either way, this works great as a pathway to seeing:
a) the dynamic between Sampo (arguably the most mysterious character to come from Belobog) and Gepard (resident bbg)
b) 5* Sampo
c) (and this is mostly me playing around with concepts) Gepard becoming an emanator, becoming the first on screen character to be turned into an emanator
d) a great end to Sampo's character arc by becoming a part of Belobog (maybe he even becomes part of the Silvermanes as a detective)
e) more Geppie screen time and exploration of his character
(a few extra ramblings from my demented as a treat)
I think it's criminal that Gepard doesn't have his own companion quest and he's practically shoved in his sister's, and considering that Sampo doesn't have his own......................
I think it would be fair to have these two in a companion quest of their own.
I'm thinking of a quest where Sampo becomes a Silvermane guard (a detective to be more precise) and Gepard learns the truth about Cocolia.
I can imagine that during some investigation that Gepard is having a hard time with due to the Underworlders not trusting the Silvermane guards, he is forced to seek Sampo's help. So through Natasha, he gets ahold of Sampo and the two work together where Gepard, through investing a shady group learns what actually happened to Cocolia as well as all the lies he's been getting spooned-fed for years.
One mental breakdown and emotional conversation between the two later, they catch the criminals and Gepard takes it upon himself to make Sampo part of the Silvermane guards because of how helpful he's actually been recently (main story + new quest with the catastrophe + the companion quest + helping the Underworld in general).
The companion quest ends with Sampo becoming a detective (Heizou from Genshin Impact style) where he wants to prevent crimes from happening before they even committed. His reason being 'criminal to detective is pretty stereotypical and Aha might blow up the planet' so he challenges himself to stop crime before it's committed to keep Aha entertained enough that they don't blow up the planet but uninterested enough that they don't actively observe.
I think it would be a great end to both character arcs.
Gepard gets more screentime and learns to question orders (it'd be nice to see his friendship with Bronya damaged, cause technically he is her uncle (Cocolia adopted Bronya while she was still in a relationship with Serval, making him an uncle)). Maybe he also reaches the conclusion of still being a Silvermane Guard for the sake of protecting the people but not actively following the Supreme Guardian because he lost faith in her.
Sampo gains a home and (gasp) love (platonic, romantic, doesn't matter). He'll feel like he belongs somewhere, a permanent home. Not matter if he leaves the planet for a day or a year, he'll still be welcome. His reputation improves and his skill is used for the betterment of Belobog. His mask is allowed to slip, even just a little.
23 notes · View notes
eir-parade · 9 months
Text
Polar|Star (P|S)
Leo/Need Adjacent Band
A group of music enthusiasts finding comfort in one another through their own music. Made with and for each other.
Tumblr media
Hoshino Ichika - Vocalist, Guitarist, Partial Lyricist. Losing her passion for music, she wants to relearn what it means to enjoy music.
Asahina Mafuyu - Keyboardist, Partial Lyricist. Wants to find herself and feels as if music is the correct direction.
Shiraishi An - Drummer. After learning the truth of RAD WEEKEND, An lost her aspiration of trying to surpass it but also out of respect for Nagi. Ever since though, she has been having difficulty trying to understand her music.
Kiritani Haruka - Bassist, Composer. After quitting being an idol, Haruka found her way with a new instrument, showing her feelings in a new way.
SEKAI: Empty Assembly SEKAI
Similar to the Empty SEKAI where it’s just a huge white area, except in the design of a School Assembly Hall.
Despite there being a stage, the Hall itself seems to expand on forever.
School desks and chairs haphazardly dotted about in the Hall, blank sheets or paper with garbled writing strewn out on the desks and the floor.
First Virtual Singer
Tumblr media
Hatsune Miku - Is basically like Niigo Miku. Acts like a calming presence to the others.
Virtual Singers
Order of Appearance (StC)
Tumblr media
All act fairly similar to their Nightcord selves (blame Mafuyu /lh)
Megurine Luka - Tends to specifically criticise Ichika. Will read over Ichika’s lyrics or hears how she plays and will ask “is that it?” Though never actually giving the answer, Luka will nudge and hint Ichika in the correct direction. Ichika used to dislike how Luka would ‘pick on her’ but now trusts Luka’s opinion whole-heartedly.
Kagamine Rin - The group's biggest critic. Even if they think they’re doing something correctly, or playing right, Rin would immediately criticise them, telling them they’re wrong and that they should be doing it like this. Her criticism helps bring Haruka back down to Earth but causes Mafuyu immense stress and panic. Rin also acts similar to a prefect so will tell them off for running or shouting (namely An).
MEIKO - Represents distance… again. And hesitancy. Specifically An and Ichika’s hesitancy to get close to people again due to their own abandonment issues. When the group were deciding on actually becoming a full band, MEIKO directly questions An and Ichika’s dedication.
Kagamine Len - Childish. Like Niigo Len, P|S Len represents Mafuyu’s inner child, a childhood she lost. He also represents being a good student and would stress when he doesn’t get something right but also has moments where ‘slacking off’ seems to make him happy. He can also represent the other’s childhood as he can be very starry eyed.
KAITO - Anger. Pure, unadulterated rage towards Mafumom, broken promises, liars, fakes, and the world.
Subject to Change as I go on figuring out this AU more.
25 notes · View notes
amee-racle-ofmyown · 5 months
Note
the heist!mark brainrot is consuming me…, just imagine mark n the viewer meeting for the first time as little kids to shoplift candy or smth together ╥﹏╥
the (brain)rot consumes!! I can relate
my dear anon... LISTEN. I am a big advocate for childhood friends captaineer, it's one of my favourite headcanons, but a childhood friends AU for the heist partners? that's something I hadn't considered until now. and it's adorable. I had to write something for it asap because I was INSPIRED. I hope you enjoy💖 thanks for sparking the idea!
Heist!Mark x reader (not explicitly romantic at all it's more about the friendship in this one) | Words: 1,317
You are in the kitchen of your shared home base, unloading the groceries your heist partner has just bought, when you pick up a bag of sour candies, smiling quietly to yourself. He's always been a fan of them.
Turning the packet in your hands, an old memory drifts to the surface of your mind:
You don't remember exactly how long ago it was, but you couldn't have been much older than maybe ten.
Your father was busy working, and had reluctantly sent you to the store with a small list after you insisted you could handle it on your own.
You slipped the folded piece of paper out of your school bag and scanned the list of items. At the bottom was a note that read, ‘Remember to stay hydrated, kiddo! :)’
You walked around the supermarket collecting the few things on your list and placed them in your trolley. On your way to the checkout, you passed through the candy aisle and slowed to eye the products on display.
‘Aren't you going to get anything?’
Your head perked up, shocked at the sudden voice addressing you.
There was a boy next to you with dark hair, looking at you inquisitively. He seemed to be about your age. He might have even been slightly shorter than you.
You must have been standing here for longer than you realised if it had prompted him to ask you about it.
You shook your head.
‘Why not?’
‘Oh, um. My dad only gave me enough money for what we need,’ you said timidly, showing him the list.
‘Ohh, that's too bad.’ Then, a small yet undeniably mischievous smile appeared on his face. He glanced discreetly up and down the aisle. ‘You know you can just — ’ and he took one of the small packets of candy off the shelf and slipped it swiftly into his pocket.
Your eyes went wide, stunned. Both from the fact that he was suggesting you steal, and at the speed and subtly with which he'd enacted the crime, as if he'd done it dozens of times before, if not more.
‘What are you doing?’ you spoke in a harsh whisper.
‘It's no big deal,’ he said in a lower voice than before, but one that still felt entirely too loud. He slipped another bag into his pocket.
You did not want to associate with this boy any longer.
You pushed your trolley away and towards the checkout, handing your items to the cashier.
You were unhappy to find the boy waiting for you when you exited the store, shopping bag in your hand.
‘What do you want?’ you asked, a little standoffishly, frowning at him.
‘There's no need to be rude,’ he said with a small pout. ‘Y'know, I think I might have seen you at school a few times.’
To your dismay, he followed along as you started walking home. When you pressed him, he simply said, ‘Hey, I'm not following you! I live down this way too, I promise!’
As the two of you walked, he chatted annoyingly by your side. What was more annoying was that you found you didn't mind his presence. You were a quiet kid and you didn't have many friends. Having someone to walk home with you was kind of a nice change of pace.
Just as you thought this, though, you immediately chided yourself mentally. You and him were not friends. You weren't going to be friends. This boy was a criminal and he wasn't even sorry about it.
You frowned in thought.
Oh no, what if he got caught? What if you went to juvenile jail for being an accomplice to theft? What would Dad say? What would Mom say? What if—’
‘Hey, are you listening to me? You haven't responded to anything I'm saying.’
You simply sighed as he pulled you out of your thoughts.
‘Are you still mad about the candy? I told you it's not a big deal.’
You stopped as you realised you were approaching your front door. The journey seemed to have gone a little faster than usual.
‘Really?’ you finally replied in an exasperated tone. ‘That was no big deal for you? That was stealing. Stealing is wrong.’ You couldn't believe you had to spell it out to him.
‘They won't notice a couple tiny bags of candy are gone. My mom says big companies that own supermarkets are greedy. They make loads of money anyway and don't pay enough taxes.’
‘Does your mom know you're a thief?’
‘W- well, no, but-’
‘That’s what I thought.’
He looked a little disheartened.
‘Please don't tell anyone. I'm sorry if I upset you,’ he said quietly, looking down.
You hadn't really expected an apology from someone like him. You sighed again.
‘I won't tell, but don't expect me to just go along with it. And don't act like we're best buds all of a sudden. We don't know each other. You don't even know my name!’
‘Well, what's your name?’
You gave him a slightly surprised look before telling him your name, albeit hesitantly.
‘Look, I have to get going now…’
You fumbled with the shopping bag as you reached into your coat pocket, feeling for the house key, when you suddenly felt something that wasn't there before. It made a crinkling sound beneath your touch.
‘You didn't.’ You pulled the candy out of your pocket. ‘When did you—?’
The boy grinned at you.
‘I thought you could have one of mine.’
‘I don't want your stolen candy!’
‘Judging by how you looked at it earlier, I think you do. And besides, stolen treats taste better!’ he called out, already walking away.
‘Wh- SHH!’ You hoped none of your neighbours had heard.
‘I'm Mark by the way! See ya, buddy!’
You stood outside the front door, dumbfounded.
Finally you let yourself in. Your dad wouldn't be home yet for a while.
You put the shopping away and sat down at your kitchen table, staring at the stolen goods in front of you.
You could try to put it back but… that would be more suspicious.
You figured, the deed had been done. There was nothing you could do now, so you may as well make the most of it.
You tore the edge of the packet and popped one of the candies in your mouth, savouring the sweet and sour combination on your tongue.
Maybe Mark was right. It did taste extra good. But maybe it was just because you'd been craving it.
What a weird kid.
‘Stealing is wrong, huh…?’ you mumble under your breath. You look down at the candy in your hands. It's not the same brand as the one from back then, but you imagine it tastes more or less the same, from what you remember.
Present day Mark is the one to pull you out of your musings.
‘Hey, what's with that face you're making? I know that look, buddy. Are you contemplating your life choices??’
You chuckle softly.
‘Just… got reminded of something. I suppose I got lost in nostalgia for a moment.’
‘Oh yeah? Penny for your thoughts?’
You turn and smile at him.
‘This just made me think of an annoying little boy stealing candy from a supermarket. And his reluctant acquaintance who ended up getting dragged into his antics for the foreseeable future.’
It takes a second for it to click.
‘Ohhhhh.’ You watch as realisation turns to him smiling fondly at the memories, which turns to him snapping his attention to you with a fake-offended look.
You laugh at his expression.
‘Wait, hey! Annoying?!’
‘Mhm.’
‘Excuse you, I was a wonderful, sweet and positively charming child.’
Your laughter rings out in the kitchen, full of mirth, and he shakes his head at you with a familiar lopsided grin, and you are so grateful for the cheeky little boy who approached you that day.
13 notes · View notes
ghostoffuturespast · 10 months
Text
Being a writer is weird.
#it's tough fighting that human visual bias on a platform like this#my queue ran out and i haven't posted any vp because i was trying to crank out that last chapter for my long fic#and like i get it maybe most people aren't interested in reading it#different strokes for different folks#but like the discrepancy between how people interact with photo vs writing posts is wildly disheartening sometimes#and i've been see-sawing back and forth all day about this#riding high and wallowing in the mud#this is literally the creative project that i've been pouring myself into for the past month and a half every spare moment i have#and i've been doing this for the past year and a half#it's weird pouring so much love into something when the vast majority of people won't even give it two seconds#i love writing but it is also a mentally exhausting craft and people don't seem to acknowledge that for some reason#it's why i try to reblog stuff from my writing mutuals when i see it because it's usually the artwork that gets the least amount of love#anyway just felt like getting that off my chest#i'm sure my fellow writers can commiserate too#i'm not mad or anything i just had thoughts and perhaps voicing them is better then stewing on them i suppose#also i feel bad for not reading more stuff from other people but i've got like zero beans to give atm#no need to worry or anything i'm still gonna keep writing and posting my shit#more vp comin in over the weekend#also god the new tumblr ui for desktop is fucking ugly absolutely atrocious#man i really don't want to have to set up shop on another social media outlet it's tiresome#i don't want to keep up i just want to blog in peace
15 notes · View notes
moe-broey · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
@felikatze OH nothing LMFAOO (not that I know of anyway haven't caught up) I'm just rotating them both in my mind and desperately attempting to illustrate the parallels 😅😅
7 notes · View notes
petrichorium · 8 months
Text
The fav I have the most frequent (and most intense) fights with is actually jing yuan btw
9 notes · View notes
Text
speaking of the rehab i work at, i’m also waiting to hear back on if i got into a medical internship there. i asked one of my supervisors yesterday and he said he doesn’t know when results come out, but he’s heard that i’m apparently a top contender. i am very much hoping that’s true
2 notes · View notes
sinfulhares · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
Drawing my Seedrian OCs makes me want to come back to Sonic art yet again ;v; I miss the Sonic fandom, I have no idea where I can find most people & Sonic OC art at this point
6 notes · View notes
waywardsalt · 1 year
Text
thinking abt linebeck’s coat. something very alluring about it for some reason. so im just gonna ramble about it here instead of in the tags for once
you can probably start a fight between the people who think it’s a coat and people who think it’s a jacket but i think it’s a coat moving on
the character designs are interesting to look at due to the proportions and art style so it is hard to imagine how long his coat would be but i think it would go down to a bit above ankles because i think that’s good. it’s a bit more dramatic a bit more impressive(?) that way and would probably lead to problems tbh
based on some of the official art i imagine that the stripe at the bottom might’ve been a late addition since it’s missing in the bit of official art most used to represent linebeck. tbh linebeck is inconsistent in very tiny ways in the official art but that’s mostly if you’re gonna be nit-picky or bored enough to notice
his coat is so good it’s simple but very recognizable and stands out among the other character designs in ph and its just. yknow good character design
its also surprisingly good for headcanons and stuff and because i mostly take a lot of canon as suggestion i have a good handful of headcanons tagged specifically onto his coat (one of which is the length of it ig)
i like to imagine that he made it himself. i’ve seen stuff where people write linebeck as being able to fix link’s tunic when it gets torn and i feel like the logical extreme of that is that he made his own coat. i think that adds a layer of. importance to it? it’s unique it’s solely linebeck’s it’s tied to him because he made it with his own hands and maybe it can represent something about him that way?
i like to imagine that in addition to the normal pockets one the outside he’s got a whole lot of little pockets on the inside of the coat, like so many pockets that he hides little trinkets or tools or things he steals in either to keep or to take back to his ship for whatever reason. some of the pockets have little flaps of whatever they’re called that can be secured in place with a small button to keep stuff in
he’s got like pencils and a compass and little notes and tiny figurines and cool rocks and feathers and all kinds of little things he thought was worth keeping around and due to that his coat is uncomfortable sometimes but if he knows for certain he’s going to be busy doing stuff he’ll empty out all of the pockets and only leave the important stuff so that it’s lighter and less uncomfortable. link finds his coat lying around at some point and is caught so badly off-guard by how surprisingly heavy it is with all of the bullshit he keeps in all of his pockets
i also imagine he values it a lot, maybe to the point of being really possessive and protective of it, not letting link touch it and if it gets torn or stained he shuts down and has to fix it before he can move on to anything else, and if he can’t fix it at the time it leave him kind of overwhelmed or upset until he can fix it. he has a lot stocked-up materials specifically for his coat to avoid a situation where he has to go for while with his coat damaged
backing away from headcanon territory, his coat is just a cool bit of character design and has just been lodged in my mind for a while. its cool and never brought up within the game (obviously) and i guess a last little closing thought is that in the cutscene where oshus teleports link above linebeck it kinda looks like his coat moves when he tries to catch link and i think that’s cool
#afraid of clogging ph tag so ill just tag this as#linebeck#character development not hiding in the tags this time#salty talks#this is how i talk on discord but i fear initiating social interaction so heres this#im in some kind if weird denial ever since that last totk trailer bc i think ive been lowkey constantly overwhelmed ever since seeing it#ugh. i miss linebeck. totk scares me and so does the fact that i cant get myself to be as excited as everyone else seems to be able to be#typing this was painful bc i turned off my autocorrect on my phone a while back bc it fucking sucked and now its like#man i am bad at typing on a phone holy SHIT#coat post thinking about linebeck helps me feel good. also projection he’s my go-to for projection when like anything happens#i imagine his coat as like. a comfort item to some degree. like it’s something he made himself and he’s had it for a very long time#like i have a comfort item or two of my own so its like. yeah i get how it feels to worry about it getting damaged or lost#so within the bounds of my ideas linebeck cares about his coat in a similar manner he does his ship. hes autistic abt both of them#his scarf falls into this category too but that actually has more actual backstory about it bc i can’t be normal about anything about him#still talking in the tags. oh well. im going to snap#i have planned a 17 chapter linebeck backstory. this is not related to that but i feel like its worth just. mentioning#i could probably make his coat represent some aspect of his identity if i wanted. like. maybe its a representation of what he really wants#i keep the coat in most au designs but the two au designs that dont have the coat are where linebeck’s identity is a bit fucked
7 notes · View notes
orcelito · 1 year
Text
Every time I see the word "mid" now I think of Midvalley and "Mid-man"
Yes Vash's little nickname is him calling Midvalley "mid". Which is part of why it annoys Midvalley so much lmfao. But when you have a name like THAT, can Vash really be blamed?
5 notes · View notes
Note
I have to ask about good dog bad dream <3
🥰🥰 oh i was HOPING for this one. ok so y’all may actually know a little bit already because it exists in the tags as tyler borzoituzzi but! good dog bad dream is the working document title/notes compilation for a fic that started with the premise of “well you see that’s actually not a dog that’s my blorbo from my hrpf shifter wolf au—”
and, because i have never formally addressed it or put it anywhere other than the tags, three important details about this fic:
this IS a semi-au fic about the detroit red wings, set vaguely in the 2018-19 season, because the wings sucked that year (but not as bad as 2019-20)
this is ALSO a fic that is mainly about tyler bertuzzi and dylan larkin, with some other wings thrown in because i've never met an ensemble i couldn't shove into a love story
this 100% exists because of mickey redmond calling tyler a junkyard dog every chance he gets and me every time going "okay but what if literally though" -> 🐺
#me 🤝 the detroit red wings hippo campus hive mind#liv in the replies#the way that this fic exists fully formed in my brain & i just need it!!! to come out as a narrative!!!#where is the brainworm to print fic button. where is it#also the way in which i’m just like ‘yeah the fic is tyler borzoituzzi’ ok but can we have a title please. like a real one.#because somehow out of 20 pages of bertuzzi-thesis-dog-related quotes i have not found a title. ???? help. i also have a whole titles note#for just collecting phrases to use as titles (sometimes with specific ideas sometimes just vibes sometimes like oh i like that phrase)#not to mention the fact that my quote doc for the bertuzzi thesis has a more embarrassing title but like it’s fine!!#UPDATE THE DOC HAS ACTUAL WRITING IN IT 🚨🚨 I REPEAT WE HAVE REAL NARRATIVE NOT TAG NOT!FIC#WE ARE AT A SOLID ALMOST 1K!!! THIS IS THANKS TO Y’ALL!!! don’t ask how long the document with notes is tho. also how many scenes are done 🙃#anyway i have had this reply written for like two days but keep not posting it because i wanted to be able to have something written to give#but also there’s another ask about good dog bad dream so this one will be info (boring) (sorry) and i will post a snippet in the next ask <3#me vs not wanting to spoil things vs literally the entire plot of this already written out in the tags: fight#tyler borzoituzzi#WAIT MY TAGS DIDN’T SAVE 😭😭😭#you’re missing the one of me going ‘🥺🥰☺️😭💕‼️🥹 thank you for the ask’#lmaooo tumblr out here like ‘bro you can’t do that every time someone sends an ask’ ok well watch me. what if i DO cherish every interaction#wip ask game
5 notes · View notes
beepmon · 9 months
Text
i’m panicking about my health, my car, school, my future, my relationships with ppl, about my entire life rn p much
#bumbles (bee mumbles)#as much as i hated my dad i did feel a certain amount of security when i could rely on him for the few things i could#he was like a car necromancer#it would function but just kinda barely zombie like vers#and now that he’s passed almost all at once all the cars and things he’s fixed up are breaking#like he infused his soul into them and they no longer has his ecto goop to hold it together#i’ve been ignoring my health problems bc i really hate going to the dr#idk maybe it’s bc i’m fat but they always dismiss my problems and i really am not mentally strong enough to advocate for myself#i tell them i’m in pain and something is wrong and they do maybe two tests and say we can’t find anything bye#and so i just feel like an idiot for going#bc obviously i’m just making a big deal out of nothing#i don’t want to be doing school this semester after last semester i ended up in urgent care twice bc my stress got to my body so hard#i’m taking less classes/more classes i’m actually interested in#but i feel like i’m gonna fall apart horribly again and i just transferred and feel so aimless#but i also feel extremely obligated to go bc that was the last thing my dad wanted from me before he passed#i feel so fucking stupid his death has effected me so bad he was an abusive monster#i feel so disconnected from my sisters that i was super close with#i fee like i’m talking to a wall of past interactions and neither of us can see who we currently are#i feel like i can’t connect to the ppl around me#i’ve been disassociating too often i accidentally keep checking out which is pissing ppl off#i’m so tired and fatigued and depressed that ppl can’t really rely on my and i fee useless and like a drain#plus i just feel so scared all the time recently like all the worst case scenarios are plaguing me#like scared my car is going to explode or my cat is going to have a heart attack or ppl died while traveling or some freak accident
2 notes · View notes
Text
.
2 notes · View notes