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#i wanna skinny dip but this my familys house so i cant really like that
im-dirtydan · 10 months
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Drunk af time to go depression swimming
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The Decision Is Yours
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Gif by me. Crappy I know. Lol. I'm still working on it.
I hope you all enjoy.
"It's your decision, sweetie". Your mother smiled rubbing your hand.
"Thanks. I gotta go talk to Vince". You scoffed, walking away from her. She had just told you that her and dad were getting a divorce but there was a specific detail that you didnt like.
Pulling up to the lake, all the Cobras were there. Drinking and partying. Having a good time. Even your boyfriend of three years. His smile lit up the world. He was so kind and sweet. Treated you like you were a princess said one day he would make you a queen and you believed him. He was a tough as nails man but when he was with you. All that faded away. He was your one true love.
"Princess, you made it". Eyeball cheered coming over to you, wrapping his arms around you kissing your neck.
"Hey, baby". You snuggled into his neck and took a long sniff of his cologne. You moaned as you released.
"What's wrong"? He asked looking up at you.
"Nothing. Just gotta talk with Vince. Family crap". You waved it off. But Eyeball wasnt buying it. He knew when life was rough and he knew how to take care of you.
"You wanna beer? I'll get you a beer". Eyeball laughed and slightly stumbled away.
"Sis, you made it. What's wrong". Vince knew by the look in your eyes something was wrong.
"We need to talk".
Vince and you walked over by the cars and leaned against the hood of Eyeballs car.
"What happened"?
"They're getting a divorce".
"Woah, that's great. We should celebrate". Vince cheered. Our father wasnt the most gentle person. In English he hated Vince. He tolerated you. Vince got the short end of the stick, got beatings all the time. Dad even threw him out of the house.  So now he's sleeping in his car in Aces driveway.
"I wouldn't. There's one condition".
"What's that"? Vince gulped.
"You can come home after he leaves but I have to go with him. He wants me to move with him". You looked up through teary eyes at Vince.
"Fuck no. Hell no. You're not going. I'll sleep on the fucking ground before he takes you. No". Vince was pissed. You and him didnt get along well but after dad turned his attention to you. Vince stepped up in being a big brother. He protected you.
"I gotta go. You should be home".
"Why cant they get a divorce and him leave us alone? Why does he want you"? Vince asked the question I was asking to myself.
"He still owns the house. He wont let mom let you in until I go with him. That was the deal. So I'm gonna go with him. Maybe things wont be so bad. He may change". You sigh, knowing that wont happen.
"I cant let you do that for me. You're basically signing your death certificate. Eyeball would kill me if I let you do that". Vince shook his head.
"I'm not going to tell him. Neither are you. He's happy. Let him keep that". You smiled when Eyeball threw Charlie into the water.
"He's your boyfriend. You love him dont you"?
"I do, with all my heart. I just can't watch as I break his. It's better to have a good day and be with him than ruin it by starting something. We're leaving tomorrow morning. So I'll have a good time with Eyeball and before he wakes I'll be gone. If he asked where I went. You don't open your mouth". You warned Vince.
"Okay. I love ya kid".
"I love you too. Go, have fun. Be happy". You pushed him away with a tear running down your cheek. Eyeball came over laughing. He passed Vince who was frowning. Eyeballs laugh stopped.
"What's with him"? He asked jumping up on the hood of his car.
"I ate the cookies mom sent". You chuckle then stopped.
"Oh".
"Rich"?
"Yeah"?
"If you had one last day to spend with me what would you want to do"?
"What are you talking about? Why are you asking me this"? Eyeball groaned. He hated talking about sappy stuff.
"Just tell me. It's important".
"I would go skinny dipping and make love to you all night". Eyeball busted out laughing which made you giggle and blush.
"Really"?
"Yeah". He got down off the hood and pulled you by the waist. "I would also cuddle the shit out of you. I would kiss ever inch of your body. I would make you happy". Eyeball leaned in and captured your lips with his.
"Then I would ask where the fuck you think you're going"?
"I'm not going anywhere. I just wanted to know". You smiled and kissed him again.
"Mmm. Wanna go for a swim"?
"I didn't bring a suit".
"Who said anything about bathing suits". He smirked and started running down to a different part of the lake. Stripping his clothes off while laughing. You followed him down and stripped. This is what he wanted. He's going to get it.
After a while of skinny dipping and some sex on the "beach". You both were tired, so everyone gathered by the camp fire and chilled.
"I love you. This was the best day of my life". Eyeball whispered in your ear as he held you close.
"I love you more". You snuggled into his chest. The fire was warm and he was cozy. It didn't take you both long before falling asleep.
You woke up to the sounds of crickets chirping. It was about two a.m. You had to get home and ready for the flight to who knows where.
Eyeball was sleeping peacefully in your arms. You kissed his lips softly trying not to wake him. He stirred a little but didnt wake. You released his body and shimmied out of his grip. Gathered your shoes and started to leave.
"Hey"? You heard Vince behind you.
"Yeah"? You turned.
"You dont have to do this. I dont have to come home. I'm good. Stay please".
"I can't. Mom wants you home  plus you were always her favorite. I'll be okay. Take care of him, Vince. Make sure he stays out of trouble and stays in school. You stay in school. Dont die on me. I don't want that to be the reason I come back. I love you. I'll call when I find out where I'm going". You hugged him and then let go. "See ya". You sniffled and started to walk home. It was a good distance so you had time to clear your mind.
Soon the sun came up and you were on a plane. Your father sitting beside you flirting with the flight attendant. Looking out the window you thought about what was going through Eyeballs head right now as he woke up.
Eyeball yawned and stretched as he woke up. He looked around to see if you were there but you weren't. He started to freak.
"Vince? Vince, where's Y/N"? He shook Vince hard.
"I don't know". Vince wasnt lying. He didnt know where you were. He laid there with his eyes glossy and wide as Eyeball frantically searched. He was devastated.
It wasnt until you called Vince about four weeks later that they knew where you were. You were far away from Castle Rock. Far away from Eyeball. Far away from everyone you knew and loved. Vince got to move back into the house. He hated it. So he left. Vince and Eyeball tried to find you but there was no use. It was only in good time that you would come back around to Castle Rock.
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tamiddyinyourcity · 5 years
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Why I wanna boot myself out of society: working a job in customer service... or anywhere.
So, let me just say, I am a huge people pleaser.
I love clothing, I love dressing up, I love smiling and helping others feel good even if only for five minutes!
And THAT, I can do with a YouTube video, an instagram comment, or a joke with a punch line.
But it's MUCH harder to do so when you're just working as a grocery store clerk, aimlessly swiping away someone's oranges and tampons, dealing with screaming kids, or people who will spit when they talk, or someone trying to steal shit, the idea of touching constant dirty random coins that most likely came from the sidewalk or somewhere gross all day, really gross dirty surfaces, and standing on my feet all day... and finishing off with getting yelled at by a co-worker, a Karen, or my boss, no matter how that may go.
Then two weeks of making money for a huge franchise that cares absolutely nothing about me other than forcing me to stand in one spot for entire days and nights, just to make barely even 13.80... and even then, the taxes make all the money not worth it.
Since apparently, thats called "having a purpose in society".
To be completely mindless and aimless, and brainless.
And that's definitely not what a suicidal nihilist wants to do, when trying to tell themselves that there is a purpose in their freaking life.
"I should get a job to be able to spend my money how I like, enjoy my free time, get out of the house more, meet some new people, and indulge without needing any support from others to get myself by", I said, to myself...
Theeeeen of course a week or two later, damn near killing myself by needing to literally hold onto a park bench, or otherwise, I'd walk into oncoming traffic if I heard the chick next to me at work say, "Chicken bowl with guaaaaac", in the same sqwuaking fucking voice one more goddamned time.
Rush hour was.....t r a u m a t i z i n g .
Two or three different hospitals full of angry and annoyed nurses, all cramming for food for their 30 minute break there? Tons of random people handing me all of their cards at once, and no idea to tell if they're all splitting a group meal together, or if they're just all impatient as fuck for swiping a meal??? I just... i get lightheaded even trying to think of that shit.
Plus my gossipy manager, and that one hoe that tried to yell at me over not being trained to restock the secondary napkin stock.... getting at me over fucking napkins??? No one told me that was a thing i had to do??? Oh naw.... yeah, i had to stop with that job right then.
Chipotle aint shit. :(
And neither was Macy's.
They really went, "Hey, barely 17 year old skinny girl who seems naive as all hell, how about you come to Macy's thats approximately 2 hours away by train around 11pm, and stay until 6am! I know thats illegal and youre not even fully trained on the floor to know how to handle our procedures or any of the customer service rules, but that's the way it is!"
I dipped. Hell no. Bullshit. Why are so many shady working jobs around here? The great jobs I had when I was young were lovely, and theeeeen they closed down... because gentrification and terrible fucking people.
Rent raised, and genuinely good or beneficial shops that helped empower women or teach great values to people? Closed down. All my favorite people had moved to god knows where....
And the jobs that remain are corporations that care not for my existent unless its for the sake of money, or family owned businesses that arent as family friendly as one could assume.
And now here I am, knowing I have a worth, but still cant find a job that I could mentally tolerate, enjoy, or even be able to just calmly sit through. Since why, you ask?
Since rush hours. Since germaphobia. Since a bitch got mad at me over napkins enough to throw a fit in a Chipotle and I almost killed myself over how much not only I already fucking hated my life, but jesus, I did not need even MORE mistreatment than I already got from life.
Because working at Chipotle with a boss that cant be bothered to train me properly, or even remember to give me a schedule, kept stupidly giving me four hour work days that could happen spontaneously, and off the top of his freaking head, instead of just full work schedules to keep any consistency or respect towards my placement at their business...
And hey, I was stressing myself about a job that could only offer me ten minute breaks to scarf down their burrito bowl, and then instantly get back to swiping cards all day and doing the same thing for fucking hours. Before taking a bus ride home in the dark of the night, walking up home, and then still going back to the empty fridge and getting the silent treatment from my mom, the constant death glares, and deeeefinitely increasing my overall deead and feelings of hopelessness in my fucking life.
Sigh.
I don't wanna just be an aimless pawn in the larger scale of things. I like to have my own autonomy, and this just fucks me up.
People I know who were my age or older said I was bold and smart for taking a gap year. And jealous. They worked nonstop and with college as well, stressing, and never feeling able to ever take the time to just slow down and enjoy their life, while theyve still got it all....
They were mentally losing it and barely making enough time to eat or socialize. And meanwhile, on my side of the coin, I didn't have enough money to eat or to socialize.
Its fucking cruel as hell,and I'm voicing it now.
I also don't like the imbalance of power. Larger businesses that are more private excluding POC since they don't want them even in their store to buy their shit, nonetheless sell it either. Then its black or brown people, with the cards they were dealt and the names they were given, excluded and otherwise kinda forced into either poverty, or jobs that make them feel like slavery never ended; constant mistreatment or harrassment and nobody being on their side.
(Ever saw that video of the girl who had been attacked at a McDonalds, and no one had helped her or stopped the assailant? Fucking bullshit.)
Every other day, its a POC or lgbt person posting their venmo. Since their body size, or sexuality, or the way they had dressed or spoke, suddenly meant they werent deserving of a job at all. (I get not being sure if someone fits the style of your store, but you never know until you give them a shot once...)
Or posting about their suicidal thoughts, the harrassment that they have to face with a smile... terrible shit like that.
I just hate it so much.
All because society said that going back to farming, or hunting, and growing your own fruits and vegetables... was somehow a disgusting and filthy poor person thing to do, (a.k.a., classism,) and somehow its much better to take the verbal or physical abuse from those around you in able to barely afford the overpriced shit they sell over in the store...
Fucking hell.
I'm done. This has me upset. Love yall. Peace out. Hope this gets my point across and yall deserve to sustain your own physical and mental health without someone doing bullshit.
God bless and amen. Ill talk to yall later peeps. Love you. Peace out.
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notabikerider · 7 years
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Its tag time!!! i found this randomly and i tag anyone who wants to do this too
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?  there is a light that never goes out, my kind of woman, crazy for you, love will tear us apart, weird honey
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? 
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.         “Is her finger on the Stop button, hoping for the strength to press it? What is she doing? I can’t hear!”
4: What do you think about most? honestly movies, food, and my boyfriend
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “I know I love it”
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? clothes on i am not a sinner
7: What’s your strangest talent? I can do a mean angry new york mom impression
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) no, this one is dumb
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? both yeah
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? today no shame
11: Do you have any strange phobias? terrified that whenever im in an enclosed area with a lot of people that someone has a gun and is going to start shooting. irrational but true
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? no??
13: What’s your religion? agnostic 
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? going back inside
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind, i love taking pictures and doing film
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? bitch i cant answer that
17: What was the last lie you told? i don’t remember??? i try to avoid lying at all costs
18: Do you believe in karma? yeah, what goes around comes around
19: What does your URL mean? self explanatory but i made it when i was a lot sadder than i am now 
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? weakness: emotional. strength: emotional
21: Who is your celebrity crush? a lot of people but probably mac demarco the most
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? no
23: How do you vent your anger? by complaining to friends and family or writing it out
24: Do you have a collection of anything? i have a lot of journals
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chatting, i like to see people’s expressions during a conversation
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? 1000% yes
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? i hate the sound of sports announcers and i love the sound of running your hand through still water.
28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if i would have had the courage to talk to the people i wanted to throughout high school?
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. my computer
31: Smell the air. What do you smell? the ice cream im eating
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? fucking middle of nowhere nevada
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? west coast purely because i live here and i haven’t been to the east coast
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? mac demarco
35: To you, what is the meaning of life? happiness and love 
36: Define Art. impossible?? the point of art is that it can be anything, it’s subjective.
37: Do you believe in luck? undecided
38: What’s the weather like right now? way too fucking hot
39: What time is it? 9:07 pm
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? no and no
41: What was the last book you read? a heartbreaking work of staggering genius (my favorite)
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? no and i dont understand how people do 
43: Do you have any nicknames? jill
44: What was the last film you saw? boyhood
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? dislocated knee, three different times
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? no they spook me up close
47: Do you have any obsessions right now? movies
48: What’s your sexual orientation? bi/pan honestly whatever you want to call it, i like all genders
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? yeah
50: Do you believe in magic? no
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? depends on the situation
52: What is your astrological sign? gemini cancer cusp (my bday is on tuesday!!)
53: Do you save money or spend it? both, spend some save some
54: What’s the last thing you purchased? clothes
55: Love or lust? love
56: In a relationship? yes im in love with harry gillette 
57: How many relationships have you had? 3 serious ones including the one im in now
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no
59: Where were you yesterday? my friends’ grad party 
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? yes my socks
61: Are you wearing socks right now? weirdly related to my last answer but yes
62: What’s your favourite animal? dogs and cows but i love all animals
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? my humor and my awkward/spazzy nature
64: Where is your best friend? home probably?
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. @lxvebad @edgarallenidunno @sedatedtaylor @perpetually-mediocre
66: What is your heritage? white
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? skyping pals
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? what kind of question is that
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? yeah i have
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? yeah i feel like im a pretty A+ pal
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? RUN TO THE DOG TO SAVE IT AND LOSE MY JOB FUCK THAT I CAN GET ANOTHER JOB THE DOG CANT GET ANOTHER LIFE
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? this question is too scary i dont want to think about it next
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. trust, love without trust isnt love at all
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? there is a light that never goes out by the smiths. i love that band and its impossible not to sing and dance to that tune
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 8493
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? trust, love, passion, respect
77: How can I win your heart? be harry 
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes but that doesnt make insanity positive 
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? taking my first film class freshman year of high school
80: What size shoes do you wear? 8
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? dont wanna think about that
82: What is your favourite word? ambivalent or serenity  
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. love
84: What is a saying you say a lot? hows it hanging & solid
85: What’s the last song you listened to? drunk again by reel big fish
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? dark red & pale pink
87: What is your current desktop picture? a picture of nate who i miss every day
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? donald trump
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? 
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? well if they dont pose a threat to me id just leave my house for the time being and wait for them to leave
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? teleportation!
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? a half hour of talking to nate
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? my “best friend” completely leaving me behind
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? mac demarco 
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? london
96: Do you have any relatives in jail? no
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? no
98: Ever been on a plane? yes when i was 8 
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? be fucking nice to each other and accept everyone.
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gildedalchemist · 6 years
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Well then! I actually have some downtime so im doing this. Post was from a while ago but i saved it for when I have time. I’m not gonna answer a number of these fully bc thats TOO much sharing, but I’ll answer as many as i can.
1. What is you middle name?not answering this one
2. How old are you?24
3. When is your birthday?August 25th
4. What is your zodiac sign?Virgo
5. What is your favorite color?Royal Purple, though I like many shades of lighter purples nowadays
6. What’s your lucky number?Yup, 2. If not 2, then 8.
7. Do you have any pets?I have a family dog at home, hes a labradoodle named Sebastian
8. Where are you from?Southern California
9. How tall are you?I like to think I’m 6 feet tall, but im just short of that I think
10. What shoe size are you?11 US Mens, which i think is 14 in womens? I forget the conversion, and it’s damn near impossible to find anything in my size in that department.
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?enough that I’ve lost count
12. What was your last dream about?hanging out with @the-senor-sperm​, Xavier
13. What talents do you have?I don’t believe in talent. Nobody starts good at anything, it’s all skills that must be trained and maintained.
14. Are you psychic in any way?I have very good gut reactions when I first meet people, generally. It has almost never steered me wrong, especially when it comes to my personal safety. If someone is not to be trusted, I generally know pretty quickly.
15. Favorite song?I’m not sure right now, I’ve been introduced to a lot of new music in the last year and I have a hard time choosing.
16. Favorite movie?Clue!
17. Who would be your ideal partner?Someone who challenges me to be the person I want to be. Someone I can trust with my thoughts and feelings. Someone I can spend my time with and be okay when all else is crumbling. Someone I love. Someone who would sit up with me while I’m deliriously I’ll, and make sure I’m drinking water, and eating, particularly microwave cup ramen. ;P
18. Do you want children?I dunno. I used to. I used to feel like I wanted to prove I could be a better parent, but I don’t feel that need, nor do I want that to be my reason anymore. I just want to live and be happy with my partner. Whatever happens after that, will be decided when the time comes.
19. Do you want a church wedding?Oof. I dunno. The thought is nice but I don’t know if the church would be cool with the wedding I’d wanna have ówò;;;  
20. Are you religious?Not really at the moment. I want to believe in something, but that something has no form for me right now.
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yes, I’ve even had surgery! (on my sinuses, im fine now!)
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Not really
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Nope, unless you count internet celebrities, which I dont really. I met Arin Hanson before I knew who he even was.
24. Baths or showers?Showers
25. What color socks are you wearing?white
26. Have you ever been famous?lmao nope
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?No, i don’t like that kind of pressure
28. What type of music do you like?little bit of everything, though i do quite like electronic stuff
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?nope, but if i ever have my own pool and could do so without peeking neighbors, i’d consider it.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?2 usually, but i only have 1 right now because reasons
31. What position do you usually sleep in?either on my side if the bed is real soft, or on my stomach.
32. How big is your house?its pretty decently sized, but I’m living in a dorm right now and not at my parents house
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?nothing
34. Have you ever fired a gun?Yes. I wasnt a fan. I didnt like how easy it is to just point and kill, and i especially hate that people think having that power is a right that should be protected like it is.
35. Have you ever tried archery?yes i have. I enjoyed it from a skill aspect
36. Favorite clean word?spaghetti. its real fun to say
37. Favorite swear word?i like saying chucklefuck
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?about 40 hours. I’ve never done 2 consecutive all nighters. at that point, i start to pass out when i blink.
39. Do you have any scars?Yes, I have one on my shoulder and lower back from the same injury, one on my knee and shin from unrelated incidents, and scars on my hands, face, and shoulders from injuries and acne over the years
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?If I did, they kept it a pretty good secret. Or not. I am quite oblivious in that regard. Its hard when you just assumed for years that youre unloveable.
41. Are you a good liar?I used to be but not much anymore
42. Are you a good judge of character?Almost always
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?Nope, it is embarassing for me to even try
44. Do you have a strong accent?people say they dont notice an accent from me until i say certain words, like dude, or awesome.
45. What is your favorite accent?New Zealand accents are a hoot
46. What is your personality type?Timid, but caring
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?honestly not sure. most of my stuff isnt that expensive. by original cost probably a cashmere sweater, but I bought it at a thrift shop. 
48. Can you curl your tongue?yes
49. Are you an innie or an outie?innie
50. Left or right handed?right
51. Are you scared of spiders?somewhat, but I dont react as badly as I used to at the sight of them. only if they touch me.
52. Favorite food?spaghetti? pizza? Xaviers cooking? hard to say
53. Favorite foreign food?sushi!
54. Are you a clean or messy person?clean in many ways, except for my room
55. Most used phrased?“aww, gay.”
56. Most used word?at this point, probably “fuck”
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?if im in a hurry, minutes, if im not, hours.
58. Do you have much of an ego?I can, but i’m working on it. I dont think I do though.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Bite
60. Do you talk to yourself?Usually, mostly to walk myself through things
61. Do you sing to yourself?Rarely
62. Are you a good singer?I think i’m better than i used to be, but im not great
63. Biggest Fear?Losing my best friends. I lost one in a very bad way, I cant stand the thought of losing more.
64. Are you a gossip?Once i got to university I became one, but I didnt used to be. Thats just kinda the environment I’m in. I feel like if i didnt people wouldnt trust me as much or even at all.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?i dunno, im not sure what constitutes “dramatic”
66. Do you like long or short hair?on me, Long. I cant stand how ive looked with short hair anymore. On other people I have no preference.
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Fuck no lmao
68. Favorite school subject?Chemistry, after that Psych or English
69. Extrovert or Introvert?Extrovert with anxiety that makes me present like an introvert, i think is what ive settled on
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?nope
71. What makes you nervous?So many things oh my god
72. Are you scared of the dark?Yes
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?I do for some people but it is seen as inappropriate to others, and in some cases makes people think im trying to be superior, so I try not to anymore unless asked. Its not my place, unless they want to be corrected.
74. Are you ticklish?Don’t fuckin touch me. I am but I’ll bite.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?No. I had too many false rumors started about me, I wouldnt do that to someone else unless it was true and people needed to know the truth.
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?Sort of? I’ve been in classrooms and worked with kids, so i’ve been in situations where they answer to me, but I’ve never really been the main figure head so I’d say no overall.
77. Have you ever drank underage?yes
78. Have you ever done drugs?yes
79. Who was your first real crush?Honestly? I dont even know anymore. I know I had some, but what counts as “real”? I’d guess the one that lead to my first relationship. that was in 2011.
80. How many piercings do you have?none
81. Can you roll your Rs?“nope
82. How fast can you type?pretty fast
83. How fast can you run?I can run pretty fast but only for short bursts now.
84. What color is your hair?brown
85. What color is your eyes?blue-green
86. What are you allergic to?a variety of weeds, trees, grasses, molds, and dust mites
87. Do you keep a journal?not physically. what i post online and in recordable formats count as my journal, so i may look back on what ive said.
88. What do your parents do?my mom is a housewife, my dad works in law
89. Do you like your age?y...yes?? what does this even mean?
90. What makes you angry?injustice and unfairness
91. Do you like your own name?Not my full name, I like my first name’s shortening, so thats why i go by Matt
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Only John. To honor his memory, and all that he did for me. He set me on the path to become who I am.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?I want my kid to decide that for themself, if I ever have one.
94. What are you strengths?Tenacity
95. What are your weaknesses?Cowardice
96. How did you get your name?My dad named me after his best friend first, then his karate instructor for middle
97. Were your ancestors royalty?not to my knowledge
98. Do you have any scars?wasnt this #39?
99. Color of your bedspread?light blue
100. Color of your room?the one at home is sort of yellowish i think. the room i’m in right now is white.
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So my bad anon, I totally ended up screwing up your ask and shiz by accident but i promise i got it- you wanted me to answer all questions so you got it:
lets get personal.
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
Its been varying a SHIT ton over the last two months especially, but ATM i currently love:
Body on Fire by Maggie Rose
Too Many Love Songs by Maggie Rose (notice a trend?)
B-A-B-Y by Carla Thomas
I Don’t Believe You - Pink
Life of the Party - All Time Low
Little Do You Know - Alex and Sierra
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
um, all the people I’m gonna meet at ClexaCon in April! Celebs, other fans, and all! IM SO EXCITED ITS GONNA BE THE BEST FUCKING WEEKEND.
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
There isnt a book next to me? theres random magazines on the kitchen table. page 23 is an add for Poise Impressa bladder leakage shit lol
4: What do you think about most?
I kinda really want to plead the fifth on this, but probably two things: how I want to make my work ethic better and make a better difference and how I dont feel I can do that until I get my personal shit together. And how I really want a certain someone to be at my side while I do that so I can be on theirs too. guess thats 3.
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
From my lil sis: “Okay, np”
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
lmao it depends. If im really exhausted, then i may sleep without a shirt. If im with a SO then I will sleep naked, but I dont ever do that myself unless I’m just that hungover or something. So clothes it is. 
7: What’s your strangest talent?
I honestly dont know lol. erm... let me get back to you on that. Does it count if my left leg is wayyy more flexible than my right? dont ask me why. i have no clue 
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
girls are a gift to the world. boys are a gift to the world. 
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Not that I am aware of. Fun (not fun) fact: I’m way more afraid of not being spoken of than being spoken of poorly. idk man. if anyone has written a poem or song about me, plz feel free to share
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
holy shit, i have no clue. usually im more of an air drums person. in that case, yesterday. 
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
I HATE SPUDS ON POTATOES SPUDDY POTATOES SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME DONT PLAY 
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
not that i reminder? maybe a coin or something as a kid? its very possible.
13: What’s your religion?
if i identified with anything, it would be an agnostic universalist.
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
hanging out with friends and family
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind, but i do have a secret desire to be in front of it. my insecurities currently outweigh my ego in putting myself in front of it, but if someone asked me to do it, i prob would. people just dont ask.
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Halestorm. Without a doubt.
17: What was the last lie you told?
oh god. I probably told one while canvassing today. I said i donated to one of the organizations that i represent but i dont. oops. did it to convince people that they are good orgs to donate too (in my defence, they ARE and they are wonderful orgs, i just dont have the money to donate)
18: Do you believe in karma?
yes, but i dont really use karma for consistent rationalization
19: What does your URL mean?
WE ARE ALL FAN WARRIORS OF OUR OWN FANDOMS AND WE SHOULD ALL FUCKING UNITE IN OUR AWESOMENESS
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
Greatest weakness? I’m loyal to a fault and will fight for what I want till the bitter end. I’m recently admitting that I have the martyr complex, im pretty sure. Strength? You get me passionate about something, you gain my love, then I’m all in. I’ll work my ass off for whatever that is. 
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
Kat barrell and Natasha Negovanlis, as of rn. but i love so many others
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
nope
23: How do you vent your anger?
i dont. i bottle it up and try to avoid it. I’ve been trying to go to the gym tho; that helps when i actually do it. writing helps too, when i do it. Definitely need to find a better way to deal with my emotions. its harder to find time during adult life mayn.
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
comics, poetry books, my own writings, quarter collection... probably something else im not thinking of
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
FACETIME IS WHERE ITS AT
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
Yes and no. 
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
Sound I hate? loud city noises, particularly construction shit. Love? ... I hate myself, but the sound of people I love telling me they love me too. SHUTUP ITS A SOUND I SAID NOTHING WHAT
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
Usually its “What if I didn’t fuck up?” or “What if I was reincarnated into something?”
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
I wanna believe in ghosts but i cant say i do. Aliens: hell yeah.
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
Right - kitchen towel and my ECU bag and keys. Left - magazine and table
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
my house’s normal smell. and food i just ate.
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
My own mind at its worst. Or, physical place, probably a mental hospital.
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
I cant say; I’ve never been West. So East for now until I see the West.
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
I like never think about this. um. Zayn is cute?
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
Finding a reason to breathe. Sometimes its family, friends, work, money, power- I think everyone’s meaning of life is different.
36: Define Art.
anything you make to express yourself or help yourself heal.
37: Do you believe in luck?
I kinda have too, I was an athlete.
38: What’s the weather like right now?
dark and cloudy.
39: What time is it?
7:07 pm and im totally running late to pick up my sis. (update - finishing this around 11:11 ooo make a wish cause i had to go get my sis so)
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
Yes. Never “crashed” but have hit someone before and have been hit.
41: What was the last book you read?
A poetry book by Lauren Zuniga. That counts.
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
No, but I like the smell of paint. 
43: Do you have any nicknames?
Laur-Laur, jiggles, cheesecake, Lo-ren, bean-bean.. others I dont think I should name i guess
44: What was the last film you saw?
Baby Driver
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
Injury? Concussion. worst fucking thing of my life. it really was my fault though.
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
no
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
oh god yes. if you know me, you know i always obsess. right now, carmilla and wynonna earp are my top two. easily.
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
bisexual, preference for women, fight me
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
I honestly dont know
50: Do you believe in magic?
I want too.
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
yeah. Well, yes and no. i dont hold a grudge to never have them apart of my life usually, but i never forget what they did to me. never.
52: What is your astrological sign?
Leo
53: Do you save money or spend it?
lol spend. i need to save. so bad.
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
groceries
55: Love or lust?
I know this may shock people that know me, but love. lust isnt any good without it. thats what i would pick if i had to choose, but i rather like the idea they exist together. they can exist separately, but they go best together for me personally.
56: In a relationship?
no, but i hope things will get better.
57: How many relationships have you had?
ones I actually really loved being in wholeheartedly? 1. total? 4. I’d say 5 but im not really counting one of them lol.
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
hell yeah
59: Where were you yesterday?
work and then home feeling down. then i played my video game, Just cause 3, till midnight
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
magazine
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
yes
62: What’s your favourite animal?
kangaroos and zebras
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
... be a huge fucking dork and hope they dont fucking hate me
64: Where is your best friend?
.......the ones talking to me? charlotte, greensboro, greenville, raleigh (NC), texas... the one not talking to me? ... virginia/dc area
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
any of the ones with funny text posts/memes on wynonna earp and carmilla
66: What is your heritage?
im a white asshole with some native american in me. Choctaw. I need to learn more about my family history AND remember it.
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
finishing up playing my name
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
angelface
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA dear fuck yes. duh. oh my fucking god im laughing so hard at this.
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
loyal to a fault and there at your beck and call? yeah. not always the best listener? nah
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
I’m gonna save the fucking dog and my boss can kiss my damn ass.
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
I’d definitely tell people. At first I wouldn’t know how, and id contemplate if its important enough to tell or not, but eventually i would. id start with those close to me. idk if id want to tell everyone. id want to travel a damn lot with those i love. go new places, try new things, build as many memories as possible. because hell yeah id be afraid. I’m terrified of death and the afterlife; not knowing what happens after we pass. 
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
I think love is built on trust, so love. trust isnt always built on love.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
love on top, beyonce. literally saved my life freshman year of college.
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
F8ME
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
kinda a big one, especially for myself lately. um. I think a great relationship has a good foundation. because in the end, every relationship faces struggles and is gonna be “tested”, for lack of a better word. and what can we turn back to when we feel things arent where they need to be? the foundation. its like a house; if somethings wrong with it, but the foundation is still sturdy, its probably possible and worth fixing. if the foundation is cracked, its more risky; if the foundation is completely crushed, then its probably not a great relationship anymore.
77: How can I win your heart?
Unless you’re the person who currently has my heart right now, you can’t. or if you’re a dog. dogs win my heart. if you’re a dog, congrats. the person who has my heart has to share. sorry, i dont make the rules.
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
how is this a question? the craziest fucking people in the world are the most creative. Yes, yes, and more yes.
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
this is intense. hmmmm. making a tumblr and going back on it in college. yeah. it led to my last relationship. best damn thing that ever happened to me.
80: What size shoes do you wear?
10 or 11
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
I’d want someone else to write a poem or something about me. i dont want to be buried. cremation bitch (after taking my organs out for science of course)
82: What is your favourite word?
currently i really just like cussing. fuck.
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
the name of my current ex. 
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
We accept the love we think we deserve.
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
i legit am trying to look at my iphone to see what last played in my car, but its being an asshole. I wanna say the last i remember is Craving you by Thomas Rhett. im already listening to wayy more country than i usually do lately.
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
in order: purple, blue, red
87: What is your current desktop picture?
A quote that says: “i know you’re sad, so i wont tell you to have a good day. Instead, I’ll simply advice you to have a day. Stay Alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and dont give up on yourself just yet. it’ll get better. until then, have a day.”
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
Can I make an entire building explode? preferably -cough- a building that houses certain gov officials i am not happy with -cough-?
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
Any question that I know would upset someone. I’m working on trying to not be honest to a fault. to be honest when need be, and to know when i dont need to be brutally honest. im terrified of being too honest again in general.
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
honestly, scream and be frozen in fear. idk man. wheres my baseball bat when i need it? idc if they arent doing anything, they need to GTFO of my room.
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
teleportation
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
holy crap. wow. a half hour? idk. theres a lot. a recent one is the hayley kiyoko concert though. that concert was just absolutely phenomenal. 100/10
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
I wouldnt erase any horrible experience, because they made me who i am and helped me learn what i know. if i hadnt experienced what i experienced, that one thing not happening can change my entire life.
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
Honestly, right now, I wouldnt. and i dont think i ever would. i get too starstruck easily and have way too much respect and awe for the celebrities i like. i honestly do think of them as higher beings than me (not gods but like, ya know, out of my league lmao) so nah. now if we become friends and theyre a cuddler? then yes i will SLEEP next to them. SLEEP.
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
i have that crazy urge to travel like a crazy person rn, so if i only had one free plane ticket, i’d go somewhere i otherwise couldnt right now, like italy. i really want to go to italy one day.
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
not that im aware of, but who knows
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
...actually yes! I was severely dehydrated once and my mom had me drink 3 bottles of water back to back. then we got in the car and as she started driving, i got sick, so she pulled over and i sat there getting ready to vomit when a cop pulled over and was like “hey, you okay?” and my mom just explained i was sick, and as he walked over to look at me thats when i threw up ALLLLL that water. he stepped back so quick and was all like “do you want me to call an ambulance?”. it was great. thats how you get rid of cops. throw up in front of them (sarcasm)
98: Ever been on a plane?
Yup! ive flown to new hampshire and kansas before.
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
probably some long ass rant about how fucked up the world is and how we need to turn around our governments and get them to work back for the people, not for fucking corporations and capitalism, or the capitalistic aspects of socialism. 
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talinhagangdibatid · 7 years
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Get to Know Me :)
Get to Know Me 1. What is you middle name? It's too private i guess. 2. How old are you? Fifteen 3. When is your birthday? somewhere in November 4. What is your zodiac sign? Saguitarius 5. What is your favorite color? I dont have any 6. What’s your lucky number? 25 i guess 7. Do you have any pets? i dont. but i used to have 8. Where are you from? PH 9. How tall are you? 162 cm 10. What shoe size are you? 7 or 8 . depends 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 3 haha. 12. What was your last dream about? me cycling with someone while holding hands where in i have forgotten the face of that human being. 13. What talents do you have? i can sing. i can act. i can make different kinds of sounds which is annoying in someway. 14. Are you psychic in any way? i wanna bee 15. Favorite song? I have a question, thats the title of the song tho. 16. Favorite movie? All the movies that i have watch. but i guess rn it'll be The Choice :) 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who is god fearing and is adventurous :) 18. Do you want children? Ofcourse 19. Do you want a church wedding? Definitly a church wedding 20. Are you religious? i dont have any religion in particular but i do believe in God and everything he has. definitly not an atheist 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, when i was a kid i break my bones hahah. 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I haven't but i wouldn't mind if it happens. 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Yes 24. Baths or showers? Baths 25. What color socks are you wearing? Grey 26. Have you ever been famous? i haven't . and i never liked to be famous ahah 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I dont 28. What type of music do you like? Anything 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? never 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3 pillows 31. What position do you usually sleep in? i dont really know 32. How big is your house? i dunno 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? milo and bread 34. Have you ever fired a gun? yes . haahha water gun 35. Have you ever tried archery? yes. 36. Favorite clean word? i don't have 37. Favorite swear word? *shet or shit 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 15 hours? 39. Do you have any scars? i do have, a lot 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? i dont know. ahha 41. Are you a good liar? definitly i am 42. Are you a good judge of character? yes i am 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? british, irish, austrialian english accent . 44. Do you have a strong accent? i guess i do 45. What is your favorite accent? i dont have any faveee 46. What is your personality type? All i know is that i want to be a deep kind of person with hidden talents but i guess i'll never be one/ 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 1000 shirt ahah 48. Can you curl your tongue? i can 49. Are you an innie or an outie? outieeee 50. Left or right handed? rightt 51. Are you scared of spiders? nope 52. Favorite food? everything sweet i guess 53. Favorite foreign food? taccos haha 54. Are you a clean or messy person? clean and messy 55. Most used phrased? ' ayoko na' 56. Most used word? pashnea? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 1 hour :) 58. Do you have much of an ego? 101 % ego 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i suck lollipops 60. Do you talk to yourself? every single time that i am all alone 61. Do you sing to yourself? Everyday , even though there are people around me 62. Are you a good singer? yes, my father told me so 63. Biggest Fear? To be forgotten, coackroach 64. Are you a gossip? definitly a gossiper 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Miracle in Cell #07 66. Do you like long or short hair? Short hair 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i cant 68. Favorite school subject? Math , i am dead serious i fucking love mathematics 69. Extrovert or Introvert? Ambiviert 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? just diving ahaha 71. What makes you nervous? when in public speaking 72. Are you scared of the dark? never 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? depends 74. Are you ticklish? nope 75. Have you ever started a rumor? i did 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? never 77. Have you ever drank underage? i hate alchohol 78. Have you ever done drugs? i haven't.. but i planned to take ecstasy one time.. ahahha 79. Who was your first real crush? Angelo Bautista ... 80. How many piercings do you have? 2 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ i cant 82. How fast can you type? very fast / 200 characters per second hahaha 83. How fast can you run? seriously i dont know 84. What color is your hair? black 85. What color is your eyes? black 86. What are you allergic to? salty foods. it makes my skin itchy red. 87. Do you keep a journal? i don't but i keep letters if i would die earlier than expected. 88. What do your parents do? Love each other and fight... over and over again 89. Do you like your age? yes :) 90. What makes you angry? when they are pin pointing their fingers on me when its not really my fault 91. Do you like your own name? i do :) 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Martine, Danielle, Charlie.. somewhat boy names for girls :) and vice versa 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Baby Booooy 94. What are you strengths? my family, my friends. 95. What are your weaknesses? my strenght 96. How did you get your name? ask my father for further information 97. Were your ancestors royalty? i dont know 98. Do you have any scars? repeated questionnn 99. Color of your bedspread? blue and white 100. Color of your room? i dont haveeee
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