#i wanna curl up and die

[travisdermotts]

just stumbled on the most soul wrenching quote from mitch

#honestly the entire article just gut punch after gut punch tbh #it's from just before he won the mem cup #was also reminded that his house literally burned down during their cup run #i wanna curl up and die #mitch marner #leafs

[pierced-coffeeaddict]

overs3xualizing myself because ive got nothing else to offer

#and then some straight guy flirts with me and kisses me despise me being a transmasc #i wanna curl up and die #personal #lonely brat #oversexualization #sex tw #idk #transphobia tw #??? #idek

[simp-for-long-hair]

'When it feels too painful' - Broken Heart of Gold, One Ok Rock

#one ok rock #zentangle #artists on tumblr #illustration #drawing #traditional art #my art #fanart #zenart #zendoodle #artists on redbubble #doodle #sketches #artwork #gonna use the tags as my personal diary for a hot minute #im having such a shitty day #i wanna curl up and die #i feel so so lonely #there's no one i can talk to #i feel so disconnected from everybody in my life

[mlossy]

speaking from the heart🥰

#i wanna d*e #i want to be a skeleton #i wanna disappear #i wanna eat him #i wanna scream #im not ok <3 #imaginaryminnd #i am obsessed #i am unwell #i am cringe but i am free #i am screaming #i wanna curl up and die #i want what they have #i am so jealous #i wanna leave #how can get any worse #how is this real #i dont think its a joke anymore #i am being dramatic #i am so unwell #girl help #someone help #i lie to my therapist #i like to act like i don’t care #i like to see you wiggle wiggle for sure

[lukesmachete]

im gonna miss these girls so much FAWK

#i wanna curl up and die #luke watches amphibia #amphibia

[transgender-catboy]

Had a job interview today, I personally think I tanked it

#i wanna curl up and die #vent

[thunderscores]

the urge to say “cool, same”

#the crashes are heaven #life #i wanna scream #i wanna cry #i wanna curl up and die

[biteofcherry]

Ovulation horny is one thing, but period horny is another.

#it's horror I tell you #one second I have the biggest craving to ride something and the next I get a cramp so bad I wanna curl up and die #ughhh

[innytoes]

uhm... 👉👈 Ray hitman AU? maybe? if you were up for it? pretty pretty please? 🙏

-For those who don't know I made a shitpost about Ray being a hitman because I looked up housing prices in Los Feliz (and how medical debt works) and SIR HOW THE HELL DO YOU AFFORD THAT HOUSE ON A PHOTOGRAPHER'S SALARY.

-It starts when one of the Petal Pushers has a very abusive, stalker ex. She had tried everything, but even with a restraining order, it isn't enough. Law enforcement just shrugs and suggests she moves (again) after 'someone' breaks into her house, ransacks it and kills her cat.

-It's not like Rose and Ray meant to kill him. But it's what happens. They manage to make it look like an accident. They never tell Violet, but deep down she knows.

-Somehow word gets around and they suddenly have a booming side hustle of taking out abusive spouses, partners, exes, stalkers, etc.

-Ray starts to take on the most of the wet work, with Rose doing the research and being his alibi.

-He's always been a great shot. He won Rose so many stuffed animals at carnival shooting games that they had to start donating them to shelters.

-They do have very strict rules on who they work with and who their targets are. Ray gets very good at stalking people with a giant long distance tele-lens. Both the people who hire them (to make sure they're telling the truth) and the targets.

-The prices they charge vary, and they even have perfected the scheme of 'take out life insurance on him and we get half of the pay out' for people who are in a bad financial situation. Those are trickier because he has to make the deaths look like an accident.

-Listen I'm not saying a few of the plants in Rose's Plant Wall in the studio are toxic. Of course they aren't, they have children running around in there.

-The ones under the grow-light in the attic though....

-He tells everyone he's a photographer but really, he only knows how to work the tele-lens. Rose jokes he could become the world's greatest paparazzi if he wanted to.

-Rarely does he get up close and personal with the targets, but he did made an exception once when 'My Ex Is An Abusive Scumbag number 87' really, really wanted Ray to know the client was right by going after his kid from his first marriage, because his favourite target (their client) wasn't there to take his rage out on.

-He starts hitting the gym after that because it was a liiiiittle too close for comfort.

-As spoken by @floating-in-the-blue: THAT'S WHY HE'S SO FIRM.

-They buy a big house and have money to send the kids to summer camp and fancy music school and the likes. When people ask he just smiles and shrugs and said he signed an NDA so he can't talk about most of his Big Photography Clients.

-Carlos and Julie think their dad is the biggest goober and he totally is. He forgets where he put his phone because he's too busy with the 700 other details of his job. He can tell if any of the parts of his work-toolbox have been moved even a millimeter.

-Just imagine Reggie like: wow Ray really does a lot of research about his photography clients, I wonder if it's like an engagement shoot or something.

-IT WAS NOT AN ENGAGEMENT SHOOT. There was a shooting, though.

-He's a little shell-shocked but still follows Ray down to where he meets the client to promise her it's done, and she cries and tells him thank you and mentions some of the awful things the guy has done or threatened to do, and then he gets it.

-They stage it to look like a break-in gone wrong. Reggie helps knock some shit over when they're distracted like: he's a ghost there are no finger prints. He stays after Ray leaves and watches the woman 'come home' and call the cops. She's either a really good actress, or the tears are just more tears of relief.

-He's really, really glad the abusive guy didn't come back as a ghost though, that would have been so awkward.

-Reggie decides that Julie can never, ever know.

#julie and the phantoms #not!fic #I wrote a thing #ray molina #rose molina #reggie peters #Reggie is the best little ghost accomplice #he's been a distraction from people who might have noticed Ray 'working' #he's calmed down pets and kept them out of the way #(nobody noticed the little cat toy floating in the living room while Ray finished the job in the bedroom after the guy 'OD'ed') #has he haunted a few people Ray's been researching so they have a few awful days before they die mysteriously? Perhaps #he's also alerted Ray about stuff that either meant the potential client was lying or all was not as it seemed #or if things were even worse than they seemed #did he spend the day curled up under a pile of Luke and Alex #because he had to subtley tell Ray there was a WOMAN CHAINED UP IN THE BASEMENT? #he doesn't wanna talk about it #hitman ray

[kriegsmutter]

left my vape at home can today get any worse

#actually talked to this dude i wanna be friends with tho #still wanna curl up into a ball and die #hal

[shoukiko]

CONTAINS MWIII SPOILERS!!!! SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

A gif to separate This is a review of the MWIII Campaign! -

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I'm going to shoot myself. Oh my god I've never felt so......wow The story was great, I absolutely loved playing. The open combat was my favorite (And also all the cutscenes with Ghost). Being honest I did not like that they brought back Graves. That did not make any sense to me and honestly made me annoyed.

I did not like the Danger Close mission, Yes because of Graves, but also because I just suck :3

I absolutely LOVED the Oligarch and Highrise missions, I had the most fun playing those. I was so emersed in the game during that, sneaking around as Soap, shooting people with the silenced M4 I found (And also Ghost during the interrogation cutscene HOOOMAMA). Playing as Gaz and zipping through the hallways of this big ass building, Got my blood pumping. But then......Soap Holy shit I actually sobbed in front of my viewers. It happened so fast and I hate them for it...but it was also handled well? Like when you're in that situation, theres no time to think or prevention for it. I'm genuinely heart broken, Johnny died a hero. Seeing Ghost run to Johnny and check his pulse, hearing him say Johnny in a concerned and scared voice.... Hearing Ghost's voice break a bit when he was saying "Rest in peace, Johnny" ...fuck man Great fucking campaign, I haven't cried this much since Titanfall 2.

On a lighter note, Ghosts hands are fucking huge and in a way it was comforting to see how he was able to hold Johnny's ashes so easliy. Rest in Peace Johnny, You're in our hearts forever.

#simon ghost riley #call of duty #cod #ghost cod #cod mwiii #call of duty mwiii #mwiii spoilers #soap mwiii #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #tf 141 #141 #Im gonna go curl up and die and also maybe throw up #I never wanna be this sad again

[picnicbask3t]

me watching someone mischaracterise my own character and then publicly expose said mischaracterisation

#joe moment #TEARIJGN MY HAIR OUTTTTT #< how it be fr #like if it’s ooc for jokes I don’t care that much #but it is. heavily mischaracterised #without any statement that it’s a joke #i just wanna curl up and die MAHSJS

[felizusnavidad]

feeling so fucking terrible today i don't even know if im gonna make it to october

#i just wanna curl up in my bed and fucking die #my ex was right about one thing #im the biggest fucking failure #and i will never do anything in this life #guess i should go and swim with sharks after all lol #everything is fucking pointless #we're all gonna die anyway #but sincerely can you hear me?*

[errolluck]

I'm tired. Of all of this.

Every fucking day feels like the same, yet it gets heavier. Things get worse, nothing gets better and the few things that gave me security, happiness, where I thought I could escape and be free for some moments, are getting corrupted, forgotten, stained forever, never to be the same refuge they once were.

I'm tired of living sometimes. Of existing on this world.

I know how dying feels; it's calming, the darkness eats you and you feel without worries for the first time in your existance. You know it and that frees you.

But I don't want to die. I'm a coward. I want to continue living on this earth just because I think I can do something in the future, something that will fix everything, something that will give a purporse to everything I've done and lived through.

But we all know that is just a lie to make us feel better, don't we?

Because, at the end of all, do we really matter? What can assure us that?

I'm tired. Too tired.

I want to go somewhere else, but there is nowhere to escape. I want to say that I want to go home, go to the park, go to a forest and be happy. But this is something that will haunt me, haunt me forever and everywhere until the end.

Because you can't escape yourself.

I'm tired...

#I'm not ok right now #my mental health is declining #and everything is getting worse #even the little things that I used to escape reality are rotting #Im just tired #of every single fucking thing that happens #I just wanna curl up and not move at all #Sorry for the vent #but i need to get it out #Im not considering suicide #I don't want to be a weight even after Im gone #and again #i dont want to die #but I just #I just don't want to do this anymore #I don't know what to do #I feel pointless #I think this is just another crisis episode I'm having and I'm going to be fine in some weeks #but I just have to get this out of my chest #I pretend to be ok #to be happy to see if I can truly be happy again #trying to be normal #and ignore everything else that is wrong around me and with me #Sorry again #sorry for the vent #you don't have to worry about me #I don't wanna stress people because I'm not worth it

[plushiehamuko]

part of the true college experience is your inevitable first time dropping a class

#squishy talks too much #“take biochem if you don't want to take ochem 2” they said #“don't worry it will be so much better it won't make you wanna curl up in a ball and die” they said #but oh how badly do i wish i took ochem 2. #whatever tho i'm just taking it easy bc i was working ahead on junior spring requirements anyway lol #and i have other shit to do in my other free time

[blindedguilt]

//Was thinking about posting this on my alt, but since I figure I've spoken about this frequently enough on this blog and it's THE dedicated Leonard Space™️... //I'm throwing up and crying thinking about how leonard had never gotten to experience romantic or sexual attraction (or will ever GET to experience those things, unrequited or not) without complete dread and self-blame and guilt and how that must have been growing up with the hope and expectations of "Being in love must be so nice, I hope I'll be able feel that one day" and not ONLY having that hope gradually dwindle as he grew into the "expected marriageable age" watching those around him go on with their lives and attain those things in a way that seems so natural but is so foreign to him and the absolute sadness of the point the notion of "attraction" and "falling in love" turned to complete and abject horror and disgust when he realises that this is what his mind has decided is "Normal" for him, and all possibilities and aspirations he may have had of a child, teen, young adult, etc. up to that point of even the bare minimum is now a complete impossibility. //how it fully sets in he'll never experience love. never find his own family or someone to be interested in and care about in such a way or even feel attraction without that weight attached.... like idc, actual relationships are one thing but if ANYTHING you should at least be able to know the joy of falling in love if even for a SECOND without any strings (Disgust, guilt, self-hate, etc.) attached!!!! guys!!!!!!! //HE'S WAY TOO KIND AND GENTLE AND HANDSOME AND CARING AND HUMBLE AND A GENTLEMAN AND HANDSOME AND HIS VOICE IS WAY TOO SEXY FOR THIS SHIT, HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS!!!!! LET HIM LOVE!!!!!!! HE'S SHOWN TO HAVE SO MUCH TO GIVE IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS (Parental, familial, just being an empathetic person towards his "enemies" in general) AND YET HE DIES HAVING NEVER KNOWN IT...... WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO HIM........... ouuugughhh.........

#||ooc|| #||relevant|| #{/having feelings about leonard again someone kiss him or beat him up with a lead pipe rlly quickly how do we process this.....} #{/there's just something about leonards SPECIFIC iteration of the 'beyond help' and 'guy who doesn't deserve this gets the worst of it'} #{/tropes that REALLY hurts in how he deserves it the LEAST and is so UTTERLY beyond hope ur like 'idek how i can make this better'} #{/the more i think about it the more insane 1.3 is to me in the idea that in its own completely fucked up degenerate way} #{/leonard may have been the only one of that group to have a POSITIVE bend to his character and how he carries himself} #{/where arioch; caim; furiae; etc. are either made more negative or are the same but with different context} #{/and the reason for that is is that is takes away the strongest thing that makes leonard so compelling and GUT-WRENCHING as a character:} #{/that caring demeanour is still TECHNICALLY there on the surface; but beneath that this leonard just let himself go COMPLETELY} #{/by becoming what would be the absolute NIGHTMARE of DOD1 Leonard and tossing the morals connected with his guilt out the window} #{/he's 'fixed' himself mentally; and no longer is completely miserable and wracked with guilt (perhaps grief!! but thats another thing)} #{/BECAUSE HE'S CONVINCED HIMSELF HE HAS NOTHING TO BE GUILTY ABOUT ANYMORE} #{/i guess to sum it up nicely} #{/the only way for leonard; who's tried his best to love and care for SO many people; to be happy with himself} #{/is to hurt other people. specifically the most vulnerable he fought more than anything to protect} #{/otherwise; his only solution to be happy with himself - or at least; no longer suffering - is to DIE} #{/just..... oooooogh........ *curls up into a little ball and explodes*} #{/i miss him.... i wanna write him again..... i want to put him into a situation he can feel at peace and Normal....}