#I feel pointless

[errolluck]

I'm tired. Of all of this.

Every fucking day feels like the same, yet it gets heavier. Things get worse, nothing gets better and the few things that gave me security, happiness, where I thought I could escape and be free for some moments, are getting corrupted, forgotten, stained forever, never to be the same refuge they once were.

I'm tired of living sometimes. Of existing on this world.

I know how dying feels; it's calming, the darkness eats you and you feel without worries for the first time in your existance. You know it and that frees you.

But I don't want to die. I'm a coward. I want to continue living on this earth just because I think I can do something in the future, something that will fix everything, something that will give a purporse to everything I've done and lived through.

But we all know that is just a lie to make us feel better, don't we?

Because, at the end of all, do we really matter? What can assure us that?

I'm tired. Too tired.

I want to go somewhere else, but there is nowhere to escape. I want to say that I want to go home, go to the park, go to a forest and be happy. But this is something that will haunt me, haunt me forever and everywhere until the end.

Because you can't escape yourself.

I'm tired...

#I'm not ok right now #my mental health is declining #and everything is getting worse #even the little things that I used to escape reality are rotting #Im just tired #of every single fucking thing that happens #I just wanna curl up and not move at all #Sorry for the vent #but i need to get it out #Im not considering suicide #I don't want to be a weight even after Im gone #and again #i dont want to die #but I just #I just don't want to do this anymore #I don't know what to do #I feel pointless #I think this is just another crisis episode I'm having and I'm going to be fine in some weeks #but I just have to get this out of my chest #I pretend to be ok #to be happy to see if I can truly be happy again #trying to be normal #and ignore everything else that is wrong around me and with me #Sorry again #sorry for the vent #you don't have to worry about me #I don't wanna stress people because I'm not worth it

[buggachat]

honestly just in general it's very exhausting to try to analyze media that is literally meant to be analyzed, only for the replies to be filled with people arguing not against your analysis, but against the premise that the media can be analyzed at all.

i don't even know what to say about it without starting to really betray my frustration, so i'll just settle with— just don't engage with analysis posts? I'm serious. if you're typing a response to a media analysis post, reread what you've written and ask yourself "is this comment/response against the very concept of analyzing the media at all?" and if the answer is yes then delete it all and go sit in the shame corner. throw your curtains away if you want to so bad and stop telling me that I'm not allowed to hum and haw at the fact mine are blue

#ml fandom salt #I suppose #and no amount of adding ''stop telling me to not analyze the media'' on my analysis posts stops people from saying it anyway #and yes. the leaks count. stop telling me that the existence of outdated leaks invalidates all analyses of the completed material #and no. just like every other time i've said this. me saying that i don't care about the leaks is not an invitation for you to try to #convince me to care about the leaks #do i tag this spoilers? it feels weird to. i mean this to be a vague overarching thing about media in general #also of course any ''or maybe the writers are just bad'' arguments ALSO are included in this. YOU guys have been my bane since FOREVER #would you guys consider commenting on fanart with ''umm.... drawing seems pretty pointless lmao'' rude? #i know this is not the first time i've made a post like this and i'm sure it won't be the last

[carpp]

these two were the best part of the event for me

#reverse 1999 #blonney #changeling #or jessica and jennifer i guess #but i feel like putting those names in the tags is kind of pointless #i also loved tooth fairy

[dinzeeyz]

im a magma board cryptid (hopped onto Cheeky's canvas last night to give jrwi propaganda, and left).

I can't resist collab canvases. They're so fun

#I feel bad clogging up my own art tag here with pointless doodles #but i wanna at least archive em somewhere and twitter is a nightmare for that #jrwi #riptide #prime defenders #apotheosis #dini art

[hoofpeet]

it's wild when you're like 16 on here getting anon hate is the most important thing in your life for a few days. and then when you're 20 you have a job and taxes to pay and driving lessons and shit and getting anon hate literally doesn't even register as a problem. "your art looks like shit" there's a housing crisis out here I don't have time to worry about that

#i mean. In the middle of typing this i remembered that there are people much older than me that still engage in pointless internet beef so. #that's how you SHOULD feel at age 20 at least #-also if a lot of 16 y/o's follow me. dw you're gonna get to a point where you don't need to give a shit about anything that happens online

[thechekhov]

Fuck it, silly poll time. What is your most hated face emoji? The one you wish you could stop people from using forever?

Bonus Challenge: Don't get ACTUALLY upset at people over emojis. 🙂

#I'll go first #i hate 😭 with a burning passion #it never fails to send me into a chihuahua level rage when i see it #i cant explain why #i just hate it with my entire being #pointless drama ass looking mf #TO BE CLEAR #THIS IS PLAY FIGHTING #ENRICHMENT FOR YOUR TUMBLR ENCLOSURE IF YOU WILL #NO HARD FEELINGS #emoji #emojis

[virgothozul]

#Hi #idk why I got yelled at when I got home tonight #I should be patient and supportive and all #Bc honestly if I can’t be that what do I even bring to this household #Was just too tired. I guess clients are meant to make lame choices and ask for 1000+ versions of the same pointless detail. #Only a couple weeks of that and I’m bored already. Urgh it’s so silly. #I gotta be patient with : client. manager. and boss. each wanting their idea to win. #I was happily coming home. Then some shitty vibe poisoned the air now everyone feels bad. We are the stupidest thing istg #Wish yall a good time tho ! Anyways. Tags. #Wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #vashwood #Drew my soft star crossed lovers to snack on a bit of comfort

[doe-prince]

Harry the goldfish

#this is from the times i thought i'd ever be strong enough to handle a human comic. how wrong i was #tw blood #i feel so worn down #i've gone into one of those moods where all my projects seem ugly and pointless and unsalvageable #but it'll pass like always #so no need to get concerned about their future

[flythesail]

It wouldn't be so hard to make decisions if it wasn't for *gestures at the unknown*

#i open indeed and feel instant DREAD #i have a problem where my job is technically good but also feels like the most pointless thing in the world #good night 😔✌️ #flythepost

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #swearing #politics #us politics #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #I know it can be boring or feel pointless or whatever but like #if you're reasonably able to then you might as well. it certainly won't hurt.

[juniperhillpatient]

hate it when there’s already enough characters & they bring in a new one to take up all the attention from the already interesting characters. like ok. no one asked

#I usually end up warming up but I do seem to often hafe new characters #I hate Harry’s ex wife fr she’s so annoying like omg who caress #how many love interests does Harry need #like he has enough. this is too many. what was the point of her showing up. go away & stop causing drama there’s enough going on #with the alien plot & all the other love & family drama among the characters #this just feels so pointless. what’s the point of her #I’m watching resident alien btw #sorry I’ve been silent so far I’ve just been casually liking it #my toxic trait is I only comment on stuff I don’t like lol #tv tag #resident alien

[antisocialxconstruct]

outfit I bought myself for my birthday :v

#tweaked my sona design a bit and also HOW did it take me this long to realize it should be PURPLE #artists on tumblr #artbyrom #idog #i-dog #I've had the nagging impulse to draw often lately but I'm still grappling with like...... #'why bother I don't feel like it will be worth the effort :|' #I think I need to just acclimate myself BACK to the idea of drawing. pointless stuff

[tnnrrdchclt]

#gets me very far. i’m just going through it and annoyed at myself when i shouldn’t be because i can’t anticipate everything — #no matter how intuitive i am or regardless of how much discernment i have. #i hate being here. i feel like i made excuses in hopes of not being here and still ended up here. #i wouldn’t even call them excuses because i thought i was giving grace and clearly looks like grace at my expense is a betrayal. #i’m getting better at choosing myself. at the moment it might feel like a loss and everything feels pointless and all i want to do is cry - #i never want to feel like this again. #anyone who wants to hate me can hate me. i do not care. #i will say that since i’ve posted this - it’s nice to see other folks and their take on self awareness. almost comforting i’d say.

[unseenwizzard]

Death: belief and hope are pointless and justice is made up

Also death: I saved hogswatch just because. no real reason. still literally heartless I swear. pls be nice to me susan. u can keep the rat. I love u. u can play my ribs like a xylophone if u want

#discworld #gnu terry pratchett #death #death of rats #hogswatch #hogfather #but dont read into that susan #*hastily shoves his feelings under the bed like theyre dirty laundry* dw i definitely didnt save the little match girl #or steal a feast for his buddies from soul music #susan sto helit #og #to clarify. i know that he wasnt saying it was pointless this was a joke i was trying to be funny

[starrystevie]

steve falls in love with eddie because he's this perfect amalgamation of everyone he's ever loved.

there's nancy's curly brown hair, of course, but also her fierce stubbornness and her bashful little smile when steve is being purposefully obtuse. there's tommy's passion, his impulsivity, his need to get under steve's skin in the best way possible. there's jonathan's quick remarks with a crooked grin and heather m's soft touches on bruised skin and robin's flailing hands when she talks that steve loves so much.

there's even the dorkiness of his kids that only amplifies when eddie's around them, all their talks of fantastic worlds that steve knows nothing about but nods along like he gets it. there's the bright blinding smiles that seem to pull at every face in the room when they win, hooting and hollering in a harmonious chorus.

steve falls in love with eddie for all of those things but also for all of the things he possesses on his own. his charm and his wit, his need to make steve smile every waking moment. the way he knows when steve needs quiet and dark so he closes the blinds before wrapping him up in his steady arms.

eddie falls in love with steve for all of the things that seem new to him.

he's never had a guy treat him like steve does, never had soft smiles and cards on valentines day, never had date nights or kisses in the daytime or a hand that fits gently against his own. he doesn't feel like a dirty secret pushed away to closets and out of windows. he doesn't see the quick glances around to make sure no one's watching before he gets into steve's car like he's used to getting with old partners. he doesn't get shushed or ignored or heartbroken.

he's used to being shrouded in darkness but steve is like sunshine, his love warming eddie like sunrays in and of themselves. he's used to confusion and questions but steve makes him feel wanted. makes him feel loved back.

steve is protective and smart. he sees through the bullshit eddie's built up around himself and holds him when those walls inevitably crumble down. eddie falls in love with steve because he sees him for who he truly is and loves him because of it.

they fall in love with each other because their jagged edges were made for one another, like puzzle pieces in the wrong box finding their way back home. they fall in love with each other because nothing else has ever felt more right. they fall in love with each other because everyone they loved before was a trial, a test, pushing them together whether they knew it or not.

#hi hello i promise i haven't vanished i just don't have the mental energy for tumblr (as silly as that seems i know) #i think once my bb is finished my brain will finally feel not in anxiety mode 24/7 and i can be back to cutting it up with yall here again #my writing #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie drabble #steddie fic #steddie fluff #ps heather m is not a person in stranger things but it felt empty without another person being in there so i made someone up sue me #bee not writing smut at work? what in the world???? #long post #could i put this under a readmore? yeah but it seems kinda pointless so sorry about that

[virgothozul]

#Old thing i never shared either #Might disappear unexpectedly so might as well feed the ai or whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️ (I’m joking but truly ai « art » taking over the world makes #me very very sad. Everything feels even more pointless.) #Caejose #Apparently in ur tumblr settings you can tick the « do not share my content with third parties » or something like that