#i try to use my own space as a reference but frankly i have So much shit and its usually small and doesnt match the vibe of whatever im draw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

velvetcloxds · 1 year

Note

be my mistake- send me a character and a dialogue prompt and I'll write a little baby blurb for it

May i request a spencer reid blurb. Thank you! 🫶

“Do you have a crush on me?”

JUST YOU AND ME | S.R.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: *again by dorris day plays*, secret relationship

You weren't sure how the situation had escalated so quickly, you'd just barely managed to convince yourself to go on the undercover assignment, nevermind ending up in the middle of a dancefloor with a slow song tickling your senses and your secret partner holding you in his arms. As far as assignments went, you've had worse and could definitely picture worse still but the moment felt cruel in its creation, forcing to the surface feelings you spent every second pushing aside.

"Spencer," you had almost no control over the nerves that slid through your voice, it was alarming, honestly, since nerves were the last thing the team needed from you. "They're all looking at us," you were painfully aware of how silly the statement sounded, that was the point, after all, but really it wasn't a reference to the fact that you were being watched and instead that you were being profiled, read like two coverless books, bare and spineless right before their eyes and it was illogical but that shook you more than the possible kidnapper you were trying to lure out.

"I know," he breathed and you swore his touch was laced with gasoline, a fire lighting under your skin as he moved his hand to your lower back, the other hand squeezing yours from where it held yours tightly. "Don't think about them," it was something easier said than done and was quite frankly more aimed at his nerves than your own.

Morgan was watching from the bar, talking to Emily, looking to the world like two people flirting when really he was looking for anyone that looked out of place. Though not nearly as convincing as the others, Hotch was sitting at a table by himself, keeping his gaze on the pair of you, and that was surely the problem because if Spencer could see through his act then he would definitely see through yours. Because the real problem was not that the two of you had to look like a convincing couple, but that you would be just slightly too good at it- which you definitely were.

Spencer found your gaze again, brows furrowed at the sight of you, eyes large and concerned, lip caught between your teeth as you fisted his shirt in your fingers, willing yourself to stay focused when this was the most time the two of you've had together since you caught this case. He was conflicted, he wanted to bring his thumb up to brush your lip to safety, bring his lips to your forehead to rid it of that little crease, wanted to pull you right into his chest to let you nuzzle your face into his neck- but he couldn't and so he had to find a way to work around it.

"Don't think about them," he repeated, and couldn't fight a small smile when you rolled your eyes at him, very unpleased with his seemingly unbothered behavior. He led you into a slight turn, pulling you just the slightest bit closer than before in the process, shielding you from the eyes of your team as well. "Now, it's just you and me," he explained and it was very convincing, the room around you feeling suddenly bare, empty, utterly devoid of anything but the man you loved and a song you would now and forever label as your favourite.

"I love this song," you breathed calmly, giving in to the sway of his hips guiding yours and he was admittedly pleased with himself when you smiled back at him, fingers easing their hold on his own, he was less pleased with that. You were settling into his arms despite your better judgment, leaning in just enough for him to feel your chest against his own, feel your breathing as you tried to hide the way you were desperate for even less space. "We've never danced like this before," you noted and it was true, you hardly found yourselves in places where it was possible but it was a welcoming foreignness, one you hoped would never be foreign again.

"We haven't," he agreed and his voice was dazed, dreamlike in its absence of any sense of formality, lost in you, drowning in you as he moved almost naturally, habitually to embrace you, your own movements completely unplanned as you rested your head just below his shoulder, breathing in softly as his scent surrounded you now more so than before. He realized barely a second later what this must've looked like from another perspective and followed his carelessness by dancing around slowly, circling your spot to give the bar a faux interrogating glance.

"You know..." your voice was softer than before, a familiar sound to your lover as he brushed his hand up and down your back, grounding you as you managed to shield a quick kiss to his collarbone, hiding it by pretending to scratch your nose with his shirt. "I don't think you understand just how awfully torturous it is to be this close to you and not be able to kiss you."

"Trust me," he began and the scoff he breathed was almost bitter, but more than anything it was disbelieved, tremored, barely keeping his affection at bay when you tilted your head back to look up at him, the light catching your features so perfectly it was almost cruel, he'd not seen you so content, so relaxed in what felt like forever. "I understand perfectly."

Someone was speaking into his earpiece then, Morgan, you gathered by the look on Spencer's face. Hotch walked out of the bar before you could overhear what was being said, Emily following close behind and Morgan, though clearly on his way out, making sure to offer you a quick wink before disappearing behind the shimmering tinsel curtains.

" What was that?" you frowned, Spencer shaking his head as he proceeded to move his hand away from his ear where he'd had it hovering while listening. You couldn't tell what he was thinking, what was going on aside from the fact that the assignment was clearly a bust- but what you were sure of was the sort of sparkle that met Spencer's gaze as he daringly, far too recklessly brought that very hand to cup your cheek.

"Do you have a crush on me?" he demanded and as simple as the question, everything fell into place almost instantly, your face falling into mock guilt as you nodded lightly, leaning into his touch.

"Was it that obvious?" you mused, and he laughed lightly, a breathy sound, so effortless it felt almost unreal as he kissed you quickly, first just a peck and then another lingering yet tenderly brisk kiss. He hummed- satisfied as if he'd been waiting for the chance forever, longing for a taste far too long.

"Terribly," he countered and you knew your skin was burning against his palm at the intensity of his focus on you, unfiltered, completely genuine and unhidden, willingly exposed. "Just you and me," he explained as if he'd ever need to explain being so openly in love with you.

"Just you and me," you repeated and it was you who acted this time, making sure the next kiss he gave you lasted far longer than a second, and ended after far more than just the one.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #monique's writing events #right where queue left me

726 notes · View notes

ryuichirou · 5 months

Text

Tops and bottoms: whys and hows

As you probably know by now, but with all of our multishipping open-mindedness, there is one thing that we’re very particular and principled about: the top/bottom positioning of the ships that we like. These roles are always fixed with us: the characters never switch or change their positions regardless of what ship they’re in, two tops and two bottoms are never paired, etc. There is no exception to this rule with us, we don’t entertain the idea of them switching ever.

We are not the only people in the fandom spaces with this type of mindset, but as far as I know, it’s not as wide-spread on the western side of any fandom, so naturally, some people find it confusing. We get questions about it from time to time, so we figured we would write a post, in which I’ll try to explain the reasoning behind our choices and give you some insight in how it works for us.

Disclaimer: whenever we call a character a top or a bottom, we always talk about our own perception and reading of the said character. We don’t wish to force our way of thinking on others and we don’t want others to try to make us question our own preferences. Everyone should be able to enjoy any piece of media the way they want, and there is no right or wrong way to ship characters together.

In this text, I refer both to their position in sex and them being dom/sub to each other, since it usually correlates for the most part.

So, why would we look at a character and so strongly and uncompromisingly believe that he is one way and not the other?

A short and exhaustive answer would be: we just want to. Frankly, this really is all the reasoning you need lol It’s entirely a matter of preference. I just look at some characters and want to fuck them and want them to be bottoms. I look at Vil and think that I want to live in a reality in which he enjoys being the submissive and receiving one in a relationship lol let’s be honest he deserves it. So yeah, it’s not that deep.

But a longer, more thorough way to look at it would to say that there are some specific tropes that characters can have that we tend to see in a certain way. Our favourite types, if you will. Some other people might see them in different light, but to us, they have all the qualities we love in either tops or bottoms. I’ll try to explain and give some examples…

Character types that we tend to see as bottoms:

Reclusive sarcastic introvert who has a hard time connecting and/or communicating with people. They either lack the motivation/initiative or are just done with everyone. Or both. A lot of time they either have a resting bitch face or a smug sardonic expression, they bite with their words and brutal honesty, but they’re actually quite sensitive. They don’t have a lot of friends and are very aware that they can be unpleasant to hang out with, but they’re also quite sensitive and care deeply for those that they love. A lot of time they have that one person who make them into a complete all-forgiving pushover. Examples of this type: Idia Shroud, Jamil Viper, Matsuno Ichimatsu, Barok van Zieks, Levi Ackerman, Ciel Phantomhive, Killua Zoldyck, Annie Leonhart, Daria Morgendorffer. This is my favourite type lol

It’s kind of similar to the first type but still fairy different: not as biting and sarcastic, more sensitive, earnest and emotional, but not very expressive with their emotions. They look either sleepy or sickly, they’re soft and slow, but also extremely self-sacrificial with their loved ones. Even if they are very strong, they still have these frail vibes. I guess they’re closer to a kuudere type. Examples of this one: Silver, Snake, Hasegawa Langa.

Confident and flirty, but also quite good at what they do. A diva that can be either very demanding and picky or straight-up childish and capricious at times. They enjoy stoplight, but also have their moments of insecurity and vulnerability with raw emotion and deep feelings. Very sly and very teasing, provoking, sometimes even cunning. Surprisingly wise at times. They are petty and they are very aware of that. Examples of that: Vil Schoenheit, Malleus Draconia, Alois Trancy, Keigo Atobe, Matsuno Todomatsu, Zenin Mai.

Little shit lol A bit of a bimbo. Either because they aren’t all that smart or because they tend to act recklessly without thinking, and it always backfires. They aren’t necessarily malicious, but can be quite bratty and the life is their biggest brat-tamer. Deep inside they really enjoy feeling like a victim though, is it masochism or is it self-pity? Can be either. Innocent, but not so innocent. They’re also very sensitive and huge romantics by nature. Examples of that: Epel Felmier, Jake English, Toki Wartooth, Byun Minho.

An overly serious tsundere buzzkill. They take themselves too seriously, they try to make things right but according to the way they thing is right. Super smart, but have low emotional intelligence, which is one of the things that differs them from the first type greatly (the second thing is that the 1st type doesn’t take themselves seriously at all). Sometimes they are unreasonably demanding, and they pretty much have a tunnel vision when it comes to think they passionately believe in. They’re very bulliable and hilarious when angry… But the biggest plottwist is that a lot of times they’re huge hypocrites what don’t actually believe in what they preach and want to get emotionally comforted instead. Examples of that: Riddle Rosehearts, Rollo Flamme, Kurapika, Matsuno Choromatsu.

Something that all of the types have in common for us (even though it might not be obvious with some of them…) are a lack of initiative (even if they flirt, it tends to be a provocation or an invitation to act), submissiveness (open or hidden), victimhood/self-punishing tendencies and willingness to love someone deeply and unconditionally. Once again, doesn’t mean that every character that has these qualities is automatically a bottom and it only exists in them, it just means that these are the qualities that we love in bottoms.

Character types that we tend to see as tops:

An overly stubborn bloke with tunnel vision lol Just like the 5th type from the bottoms list, they take their own beliefs very seriously and could sometimes get angry if someone disrespects it; but they are different, because there is no emotional turmoil behind this type of top’s loyalty to his ideas. The tsundere bottom one tries to cover their emotional wounds, and this top idiot simply doesn’t know better, but they SURE AS HELL BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM! And if everyone followed their advice, the world would be a much better place!! At the same time, if “the system” that they believe in betrays them, they would be the one to get to the bottom of it, and they would stop at nothing to discover the truth. They’re overbearing, overstepping, overprotective, kind of aggressive and a lot of time physical, but they could also sometimes be silly and even funny. At the same time, they’re horrible at getting hints and get confused in emotional situations. But they love their loved ones dearly and would do super drastic and horrible things for them without thinking twice. They make such great simps~ Examples of that: Sebek Zigvolt, Herman Grinhill, Erwin Smith, Equius Zahhak, Dirk Strider.

If the previous type is a stuffy inspector who doesn’t fully understand how relationships work, this one is more of a general who’s either seen some shit or actively seeing it lol He is just as stubborn, but doesn’t have as much of a tunnel vision. He might not have his shit together, but he sure as hell knows how to inspire the crowd and how to discipline young soldiers, so to speak. At the same time, if I was to describe this type I’d call him a calculating beast lol It’s the warlords and leaders + a lot of the characters who simply enjoy violence for the sake of it. But sometimes their chaos is contained in little pranks and friendly fights~ People fall in love with them quite often… The examples of that: Lilia Vanrouge, Fushiguro Toji, Zenin Maki, Eren Yeager.

The previous type is charismatic, but these are THE charismatic fuckers. People either absolutely love them or absolutely hate them, and they just dance to the beat of their own drums and do whatever they find fun or amusing. If the character is a top and their entire motivation is to avoid getting bored, it’s very likely this one. They don’t care about hierarchy, don’t care about who they’re talking to, the world is their playground and they’re enjoying every second of it. Some of them are absolute sickos, but some of them are just enthusiastic and eager to learn everything about the world around them. It feels like they can talk to anyone, people are very drawn to them. But also? They are still super stubborn. Examples of that would be: the Tweels, Rook Hunt, Ortho Shroud, Sebastian Michaelis (oh Yana LOVES this type), Shindo Ainosuke, Morow Hisoka, Gon Freecs… see this range?! Insane.

Another psycho, but this unhinged in a different way. They’s the ufo, they’re the monster inside your bed AND your walls, they make people uncomfortable and scared, they would push a person under the bus for their loved one… or for funsies! They tend to be vindictive and petty in general and they never forgive grudges. Sometimes they are whiny and capricious, sometimes they act like they want to be pitied, but they would actually absolutely hate a person that pities them… and plan a murder. Even if a character of this type seems rather civil, trust me, they are capable of doing horrible things for the pettiest of reasons Examples of this one: Azul Ashengrotto, Gojo Satoru, Zeke Yeager, Komaeda Nagito.

A fool. And idiot. It’s hard to define this one, I guess he doesn’t look as aggressive as the previous ones, but he still has capricious and stubborn childish qualities that he can’t really do anything about. He is sweet and loving and sometimes even bubbly, but there is… there is something about him that just doesn’t…seem right…. Examples of that are Finnian, John Egbert, Shindo Shuichi, Matsuno Jyushimatsu. I guess a lot of them are straight-up CREATURES a not figuratively but literally lol

There are probably some other types that I’m forgetting but these are the main ones. Are all the character that contain these elements going to be our favourite? Not necessary – Leona is as unmotivated as Idia is sometimes, but we don’t like him nearly as much. Do these characteristics guarantee that a character would be seen a certain way by us? For the absolute majority of times, yes. The exceptions are possible, but are super unlikely.

As you can see, while the described tropes/qualities are rather specific, the range of characters that fit them is quite large. Let’s be honest, Sebek and Dirk aren’t all that similar, but on a larger scale, both of them contain the qualities that we find attractive in tops in our ships. Hence, their positions. Also, a lot of the qualities exist in different types, so it could be kind of fluid there lol

And for the record, we don’t spend hours trying to align the characters into the roles and we don’t force it. It happens very naturally and it’s always been this way; I guess when it comes to Katsu and I, we just have a very specific tastes and preferences that miraculously match. At the end of the day, it really is just a matter of what we want a character to do and how we want a ship to interact.

I hope it clarifies how we look at this whole thing. Thank you for reading!

42 notes · View notes

blindtaleteller · 7 months

Text

MCU Asgard Canon Observation Research [Part 1]

Firstly and before I even start in on the subject, keep in mind that this is what it says: a collection of research into actual Canon Lore from the Marvel Cinematic Universe: not the comics, or the Nordic lore twice removed from it.

Secondly and alongside that, also keep in mind that even back at the start of the MCU as a long term project, while the MCU is based on the Marvel comics universe: the creators made a point of making it a completely different universe: for many varying reasons, including the spaces lacking continuity in the comics over the years that the MCU as a project wanted to pursue from it's first conception.

This is a large part of why there are phases and why they were numbered from it's creation. (And yes also why my tags recently mentioning counting phases are what they are elsewhere, but that's a whole other post.. or set of them.)

These are important to remember because, I would like to avoid previous iterations of people wasting their time trying to insert comics-universe lore and more excessively into or onto this requested post purely for the sake of, well; being argumentative or just trolling:as much as possible. I do try to take some time to respond to comments and reblogs as much as possible, but I can and will ignore or yes, at times point out people unable to manage these things.. and respond as necessary.

I normally wouldn't bother to mention this except yes, that has happened before so: consider this your disclaimer.. I ain't dealin' with you if you're gonna be a trolly shit disrespectful enough of the time effort and willingness to share what research and observations I have, by shitting on it or me in your pursuit of whatever flimsy excuses might be given for any inhuman reactions posted passive aggressive or worse.

More frankly: be respectful on my posts or get lost. I don't tolerate harassment on my blog whether it's aimed at me or others. Passive aggressive or otherwise. I'll discuss stuff, am happy to have any valid references I might miss added to and pointed out. Just don't be an asshat about it, and you'll get the same from me. That's how basic-bitch Karma, and I; both work: you'll get what you give along those lines, while in my space.

The necessary now out of the way... Next!

More as a side note with that mentioned; while I may mention some meta/theory in the form of the most probable (as that's how my meta in particular is formed) it is again: based on the facts of the canon lore and contexts confirmed presented in it; visually, in dialogue, and out of the mouths of the very people who made all that themselves, at the time that lore was given to us on screen: and will be mentioned as the theory and supposition that is 'meta' rather than 'canon'. I have gone out of my way as a fan of world, universe, and character building as a part of the creative process in particular: to watch, rewatch, rewatch again and again, and hunt down all this stuff (often lol purely out of my own curiosity.) All in all Meta is theory, Canon is story/film-established fact; and I do try to keep a clear line between the two of them. The early world and character building in the MCU has always been interesting enough to me alone, to do all that with my free time.

And that's especially true with Asgard in particular, as a main story driving force in one form or another as far back as 2010 when both Thor and CA: tFA's scripts were being filmed and their sets/settings picked out and created.

Final few bits before we get into it..? As Asgard lore (and even a lack of it's presence at times) is directly and appropriately attached and or in relation to the lore of several races, species, and massive events in the entirety of the MCU's first three phases.. I will be touching some of those cultures and places too, where important. Probably not in this particular part, but yeah. It's gonna happen.

As with the research post into Loki and his year of absence prior to Avengers 2012: (yes that's a link to an ask that contains a good chunk of info and years of interviews on that particular subject) this might not be an entirely complete compilation: for the same reasons. As I said, i didn't just watch, I rewatched repeatedly from differing personal mental angles: not just three or four times, but and as I wrote my own fanfiction.. I would also re-watch once or twice just prior to fleshing out an outlined story of my own to refresh my memory, seek out interviews official and otherwise from the creators and actors who made that lore and put it on screen for us to enjoy as part of the stories we enjoyed (or not, depending lol) and well.. the resulting organization of the whole outside of this post is less than comprehensive for anyone else. You can see the explanation for how that happens in the foreword of that thread if you're curious.

As a result, I may or may not exclude the actual interviews if this gets too long. Much of the visual in this first part especially are pretty self explanatory, as I did find some of my dissection pics too.

All said (I think? Gods I hope so that was a lot wasn't it? XD) and as suggested/requested recently in discord?

This one is gonna be expansive.. and hellaciously so: so grab your drinks and your snacks and still be prepared for this series of posts to be going for while (not kidding, may be compiling this properly between jobs for weeks) so yeah..

Here we go again!

The major forgotten fact of Asgard's depiction in the MCU is this:

We the audience are only shown a very tiny fragment of Asgard as another separate planet in space, and: they do show us we're missing as much, from the very first film.

That gif directly from the movie I used at the top? I'm using it again, because...

..look at that.

With topography, perspective and size in mind.

That tiny golden triangle in the middle is the Palace at the center. The little golden bar along that tiny portion to either side? Is the city attached to it proper, with the Bifrost, and as far as we've seen the 'Heroes Road' (as soem are calling it) and city walls cupping the Bifrost Bay directly facing the camera.

This is a space shot (of course,) and that tiny itty bitty moving spec that is still shrinking as it gets further from our perspective and closer to Asgard at the bottom, is the Bifrost in use.

And, they do give us a few views of that as early as five to six minutes into the first movie in 2011, as seen in the first clip below. I've set it to share at the first view of Asgard itself.

Hopefully that works. If not, the timestamp you're looking for is 2:04.

I recommend shutting off the audio, as it's a bit distracting. Trust me, we will get back to the very interesting audio from a world builder's perspective, when we get to the History and Relations section of Asgard's break down.. there are several tons, of that and in that opener alone, to examine later.

youtube

IMPORTANT!! When looking at any of these images or videos, keep in mind and look at the scale. Not just in the scene on screen at that moment, but also in reference to previous shots. Distance is a thing. The size of trees and people are a thing. This place in the MCU is much more massive than where it's very cloistered story parts take place.

This is not a city-planet like and for comparison: Coruscant, from Star Wars... though I am very aware that some people will throw out Asgard's concept art to try and 'debunk' that (yes its' been done and proven pointless in other threads).. that does also bring us to another couple of facts that slip by in their context.

In fact, you know what? I'll throw it in here right now myself:

This concept art: does still apply, if slightly adjusted with the topography and likely under ground portions taken into account.. because Asgard is the name of both the planet AND the city as separate entities of the same locale.

In other words, the concept art is VERY valid as a map of the city itself: but not the outlying locations outside of Asgard as a Capital City Proper, of Asgard as a disk planet.

And again.. they do show us this, and not just in the first film: although that first shot going into the city says as much too, being that..

A. Asgard is established as a society greatly more advanced than Earth and most others, and;

B. there are whole swaths of land (and especially mountain they like to build into) without structure between the edge panned through and the City itself. (see still image below: not the best quality but it's also in the video.)

Which.. we'll touch again a little more in a bit (and probably the biggest lol) part of this breakdown set; digging at History, Culture, and Relations.. as the fact they do prefer to build INTO their environment much more than on top of it is also shown in the shot of the canyons and canals on which not only that city is built, but even what buildings are shown outside of it on that panning-in shot.

We can see in the one above though: that while they did redirect some of the water through canals in the lower shot; they also kept and built into the natural(?*) lay of the river canyons below.

This theme is kept even before we get into the city though with the first part of the shot above the water.

Want a more visual view of the breakdowns as I do them?

Here you go, here's one example from out of my crazy folders and docs, that I made in paint back in 2013 (LOL yes I know. XD) while once again re-watching that same scene.

I would highly suggest clicking on it, as tumblr does downsize images making text on them hard to read otherwise. Crappy in-motion quality screen cap but, it was made more for breaking down the visual elements on screen for what it told us about the land, and more; on it.

----[?*] As a set of side/foot notes to that last bit and the image..

A. the top left corner yes: does reference some of where I use certain observations of canon in my own fics; and how they would have grown or evolved depending on that story. In this case, and at the time: the pink text is making note to utilize those observations in outlining Hvedrungr (Loki from Uni 0) and Flykra's (Loki from Vesti1 Uni 14) universes in particular: both of which return to Asgard at VERY different times and in different situations: while the history and culture I've been able to glean and expand on in some cases is still part of their and the location's background. As I don't have the patience to remove the text from an old paint shop cut.. I thought I would at least explain it's presence left there. These things are, ultimately connected by the culture that originated on and created them on that planet after all.. and why there's an entire section dedicated to the varied aspects of Asgard's presented Cultural, Relations, and History lore. B. The '?' at the 'natural' mention in parenthesis above, also takes into account that Asgard is much older than Earth's culture and has to be: if only because as only three generations have come and gone over the passage of what to us is five thousand years! (see the next installment Thor the Dark World: Bor and Darkalfheim, or just watch the movie with info gathering in mind.) In other words, between Bor's War, and Odin's Asgardian Great Wars: we cannot be certain whether or not 1. those canyons are actually natural or the now aged result of one of many previous interplanetary wars, or 2. whether Asgard at this stage of it's showing timed at 2011 more than a millennia later, has even always been this size, given their advancement in technology and study of magic as presented OR left in question, either. For my part, as there's no conclusive dialogue from that era to state otherwise in the MCU or it's interviews that I know of, and knowing the context of Malekith and Darkalfheim's familiarity with Asgard itself during their raid to reclaim the infinity stone: I tend to veer towards a mixture of the two. While it's very likely at least some of the canyons are indeed natural; the great age of the culture and planet both, along with the nature of Bor and Odin's rules alone as we've seen them: leaves a HUGE and LONG period of time and opportunities for some of those nasty fights to come directly to them... or even their predecessors. Which would also explain why they had that shield for the palace too. You don't build and more importantly upkeep something like that without a very good set of reasons or examples experienced, to do so after all. Much of that is meta though, however based on canon fact it may be: and as many of the creators were not asked publicly during that era, and have been dismissed or moved on to other projects since.. it's hard to know if we'll ever see a *genuine* answer from the people who actually made it all starting sixteen years ago.

Anyway, let's look at a few more shots of Asgard with that breakdown going. Some of these are all old, from as far back as about ten years ago when I first started writing outlines for the varied universes in my Lokiverse Project: but they do still hold up. theer are some from TDW in this bunch too. I heavily dissected these scenes knowing I was going to do whole chapters in multiple differing universes, and wanted to have the presented layout and feel laid out in my head, before I started adding in locations on the planet not yet shown on film. And given my first Book was already going to be DREAMS.. where Asgard has been blown to bits post Endgame? I really wanted to get it right so I could deconstruct it as many times as I and the muses wanted to. Laufeyson (Universe 10 Loki) was pretty insistent too with the opening chapters on his end focusing partially on that chase with Abell through Asgard's blown apart ruin

Sorry for the ramble of an explanation, but that's how it is and how it works over here...? XD

..uhmmmm. Yeah lol! When I said I watch and re-watch from differing mental perspectives..? That's what I mean. I don't usually share those at all... only the unedited pics. Genrally I will take caps or take existing raw caps and pick out piece that catch my eye. I've been told they do help put your brain in the right mode for those who have difficulty processing them in that way, like I do when in that mode. Also yes, trees and fish ...bruh. lol!

It's there, has been for years in some cases; and I'm not messing with it now.

That basic bit out of the way (doesn't sound so basic does it.) Let's backtrack a bit, specifically to Asgard's shape and the placement of it's location and the locations on it.

As I first write this, I don't have the talks I had with a few wild meteorologists and geologists back then directly on hand (as this is a part I still don't focus on too much; but:) shaped as it is, those I did talk to theorized that between the shape and placement of planets as well as the nebula they're partially inside, that Asgard may be shaped and in rotation as it is because of its' placement in it's system: or because of late interference by Asgard's inhabitants to keep it stable.

^ That one scene in particular from Thor 2011 really made my eyes pop. Not because of what's going on in it so much as trying to answer the whys and hows and what the actual fricks man: because..

Can you imagine, the conversation: trying to pitch that spinning death ball to the King there OR anywhere else on the planet before Bor or even his great grandfather?

Or, trying to talk the royalty down from the idea of putting it anywhere NEAR the palace, or other people's homes?

How about testing that house sized death-by-velocity-alone gilded mess? (Yes I still laugh thinking about that. Some poor scholar/engineer type trying to dissuade Bor's grand-daddy from building what would definitely become a giant pinball of death in the canyons and canals, if that thing ever came off it's anchors even once in the city. Good gods! lol!) Who knows; maybe that was when people started moving to Vanaheim... XD! Just (mostly) kidding.

Cray-cray thoughts of high velocity gilded pinball hell that was probably somewhere way back in the Bifrost's likely development and evolution as tech/normie science boosted by magic, and or vice versa, aside:

You probably notice I've mentioned the nebulae and the planets in their rotation more than once. And with good reason.

Backing up a bit; Asgard is interesting well before you hit her shores.

Not only is she a top-shaped disk-planet: but with the way the sky is shown: Asgard has a very interesting rotation if she has any left at all. There's very little we know, but what we do know is she is not alone in her systematic rotation either way.

(Asgard's sky from Thor's personal Hall in Thor: the Dark World)

In fact and as seen in the screen caps above: Asgard has an incredibly close relation to at least three planets in her nebulous solar system. At least one of which is absolutely massive: massive enough that it's close proximity is theorized as being pretty likely to be the only way Asgard experiences night cycles as seen in Thor: the Dark World... mainly through eclipsing the nebulous sun by passing between it and Asgard as a planet.

Which is both cool -and- scary when you take things like degrading orbits, space debris and projectiles like comets and other space science into account.. but also very, very interesting.

It also begs the question either way: why didn't Asgard at their earlier establishment of a greater technological level, colonize or move to those planets sooner? Of course.. the first obvious answer is.. they probably couldn't, at first. And even more probably were past trying by the time the Bifrost was built, prior to Bor's time (I say prior because we have seen Bor use it in Thor the Dark World: and on a massive scale moving whole armies, the same as his son Odin. See some of the scenes from Bor's seizure of the Aether below.)

But yeah, Asgard is a pretty unique place even before you get to the water fall's edge: or questioning what kind of condensed mass it has to retain gravity at it's very small size.

Or, whether that gravity and the shape is in fact generated in some form or another after millennia upon millennia of just the Wars we do know about in their history.

(At current we know about Darkalfheim and the series of Wars including Jotunheim and Muspelheim that they call the Great Wars. While they are definitely aware of the extensive millennia of intergalactic war between the Xandarian based Nova Corps and the Kree Empire put front and center in GotG.. there hasn't been any actual confirmation as to whether Asgardians fought in that war on either side: only that they are at that stage at least loosely allied with Asgard.. if not a more separated protectorate being considered among the nine realms in the MCU.)

Why do I keep pointing out trees, and perspective; or teh size of the city in that first little gif again?

Because.. that is our repeated visual evidence of just how much of Asgard as a planet; the story did not take place in.. huge parts of the place we haven't seen. And that makes sense.

Power plants or generators, smithys, and even schools can be easily placed in the city proper, at this stage.

But what about BEFORE, they got to this stage.. because that is a thing in the MCU in regards to Asgard: and a major plot point for three movies of script running, from 2010 all the way to 2015 when Taika Waititi was hired (unfortunately, for those of us who know the root of what happened there.)

What about food, for thousands of 5000 year lifespans and their kids. And their grandkids. And.. the food for the livestock, or the wild game

Or the bilgesnipes and dragons--well we can guess what happened to the dragons of Asgard in particular actually. If they were anything like Muspelheim's; and on a planet that size..? It doesn't take much to figure out Odin, Bor and their predecessors probably couldn't excuse not hunting a predator big enough to swallow people to extinction: not for much longer than they absolutely had to anyway.

What about fibers and leather for clothes.

How about waste management, for both the city and suburban areas? Sewers? Water filtration? Factories or slaughterhouses to process it all, and the means to support those things. Everything man made, is grown, processed or made somewhere.

We know they have these things, because we know they have and make their own alcohol (fermentation of grains, fruits, and more); as well as other things to eat: displayed in both T1 and TDW.

(The top image is from Thor's table flip scene in Thor 2011; while the one below it is from the tavern scene in the beginning of Thor: the Dark World.)

Meat, vegetables, fruit, grain, herbs, and seasonings are all represented on the tables above. While some might be imported (I really do wonder about the platters of golden apples myself:) it's not very likely all of them are. And it wouldn't make sense for them to have been imported from off world throughout their species development either. After all and again: they would have had to have survived and developed enough to GET TO, that stage in the first place.

You're also looking at Varnish in the shine of that table; smithing and metal working and ceramics in their table ware. Weaving either plant or animal fibers in their clothes, as well as the likely production of tannin (or it's equivalent) and leather working in every leather piece on screen. Candles can be made from varied sources, whether that's actual wax of some form, or condensed animal fat.

Oh, and if you find the enlarged version of those images: you'll also notice things like fine engraving and metal sculpture to the goblets and platters on the Thor 2011 table in particular.

Either way, the images above show us directly that unsurprisingly, they have come to understand whole other sub-levels of production: before you even get to the high-tech and magic ends of any of that to be able to reproduce it in that modern era.

As another side note related to that: the booze alone is pretty telling as to how far off the "Loki" series is on this mark, as well. Creators of current content 'conveniently forgot' that this is supposed to be a space faring, technologically advanced society (even if they're the social equivalent of medieval imperialist thugs .. lol sorry not sorry! That's literally how they're depicted... and honestly that really weird twist IS some of Asgard's most interesting and strange development) whose friends, allies and other examples of places visited DO and HAVE included Earth, Xandar, and six other 'realms' as their etymology names them: for literal millennia. Even taking the other, long established cultural influences and visitations aside? For a society who 5000 years ago was still porting whole armies to other planets to kick peoples asses? The idea they never discovered honey; or sugar especially even on the inside of a fermentation barrel for wine; OR how to process it into something like candy? Is more than just a -little- dumb in the stretch. Sugar often naturally starts to separate and crystallize during the fermentation process. Ask a vintner, or look it up if you don't believe me. Just sayin'.. just on Earth alone, we know sweets were discovered more than 8000 years ago. Eight thousand. And the only reason we haven't been able to confirm people older than that finding things like bee's hives?? Is because well.. that kind of thing rarely survives even that length of time at all, to be found in archeology in order to tell us more. I'll touch that and how it's pretty damned near impossible that 'Loki doesn't know wtf candy is' being 1k+ years himself, and a guy raised as an Asgardian prince & spymaster to boot later into the culture section I think, but mmm.. that whole bit still reeks of stupid, to me And more so after their own DB Cooper scene. Gonna say candy wasn't a snack in that era either? Cause if so; I got big shocking news, for those who think so... XD

In closing.. for this part?

As far as the world of Asgard goes, we have only been allowed to see a very small part of it: and even then? It is still undoubtedly massively larger than even what's implied: and definitely capable of supporting it's comparatively small base population of less than 10k people.

(Odin's subterranean vault reference: exterior)

The only reason we don't see even more of it; is the fact that films have a limited time to give you everything, and the story focuses on the royal family from the get go. And they live, in the heart of Asgard's capital city... so we largely don't see as much of that as weirdo world building fans like me would absolutely love to see in the process... and frankly; they gave plenty enough to start us off with.

The films would have suffered for having too much more of that, rather than the stories they were trying to tell.

The same.. I would love to know more: and I do wish the current teams paid the previous ones more respect by using what was already there and expanding on it: instead of making mismatched new things up, as they went.

The early creative teams really knew what they were doing back then.

(Asgard's defensive cannons defending against the Darkalfheim air raid in Thor the Dark World.)

And no, this isn't all they showed us, in the show and tell they did manage to give us over the course of years of work... far from it.

Hope you enjoyed part one! Maybe you learned or saw something you missed.. or have been inspired to watch the older films again..?

I know I often am.

#MCU #Asgard #MCU Asgard #Lore drops #research #scene dissection #location and culture dissection #world building #universe building #Lokiverse references #writing references #writing research #Youtube #MCU Lore #part one:#about the land more than the people on it #don't worry: we'll get to that #:3

40 notes · View notes

teaveetamer · 8 months

Note

How does Raxis's orientation, gender, and skin color matter? And why does yours matter?

Why does me being a queer woman matter when a cishet white man accuses me of being queerphobic and misogynist?

Assuming you're the anon Ezra keeps getting who is complaining about us pointing out his age (since I got this right after I reblogged one of those), you probably read his blog right? Considering Raxis claims to be such a great progressive ally and co-opts all that progressive language, I'd think people who follow him would understand why this is so important?

Okay, I'll be very clear, cut because this got long, I'm not repeating it ad nauseum after this post.

His gender, sexual orientation, and race wouldn't matter if he hadn't made it matter. Raxis is not only a bully, he's a bully who constantly appropriates the language of social justice. My very first direct interaction with him was literally me calling his ass out for using the murder of Roe v. Wade as a bludgeon to win a fandom argument. Which happened, like, right the fuck after that decision came down and most women in America were fucking traumatized from literally having our rights stripped from us. And I wish our relationship ended at that "apology" but he hasn't changed and he keeps doing it.

He is the one who consistently accuses me (and other women) of being misogynistic and having internalized misogyny. He is the one who consistently accuses me (and other queer folk) of being queerphobic. He is the one who accuses BWIIDT (who is mixed race) for being out of line for thinking Cap (another white man!) has written racist elements into his fic (unintentionally or not). He consistently uses our oppression as a justification for why it should be okay for him to bully us.

If you are going to use our identities as part of your justification for harassing us, then we have every right to point out that these are identities that we hold and you don't. We have every right to point out that the opinions of a cishet white man about misogyny, queerphobia, racism, etc. do not matter as much as ours because you have never fucking experienced it like we have.

The role of allies is to amplify voices in spaces where we are not respected (e.g. with other cishet white men), not to lecture marginalized people for being "bad queers" or "bad women" from your throne of privilege.

It's especially fucking slimy because he pretends to be super progressive live and in concert, but when he slinks back to his buddies he laughs at us for being upset about being misgendered:

(Yes because you repeatedly misgendered me for months and only started correcting yourself and your anons when I called your shit out. You are literally "the misgendering type" but it's cute how you tried to act like I was being unreasonable for wanting the basic human respect of being referred to by my proper pronouns)

Accuses us of trying to hide behind "identity politics" when we're talking about the fucking oppression we face:

(Always a great sign when a cishet white man accuses queer women of "trying to use identity politics as a shield" when they're talking about their own fucking oppression. An even better sign when a cishet white man brags about "out identity-politicking" queer women when they're telling you to stop fucking throwing their oppression back in their faces. Whining about "identity politics" whenever marginalized groups try to voice anything is frankly such an alt right dogwhistle in itself at this point and I genuinely hope he's just not aware of it.)

Bullies queer women on his side who disagree with him and try to say basically exactly what I'm saying right now. That straight men can't appropriate the language we use to describe our oppression:

(usernames censored for the privacy of those being harassed and those not participating in harassment. This conversation has so much fucking more btw holy shit.)

Accuses me, specifically, of being "desperate to be a victim". I'll remind you I quite literally tried to give him grace despite him consistently using my oppression as a bludgeon to win stupid fucking fandom arguments and harass people (see also, the link above about me calling him out for the Roe v. Wade thing):

(Yes, Raxis, I fucking loved pouring my heart out about how my dad would kick me out for being queer and how I've faced sexual harassment. Tee hee. I'm having soooooo much fun "being a victim". I don't 'argue', I tell you, because your horrible treatment of people and my feelings about it are not up for debate.)

And engages in racist behavior like calling being black a "multiplier" to deflect from criticism and mocking a WoC when she posts about how racism upsets her.

(Yes Raxis, WoC tend to get "big mad" and "suffer" when they encounter racism, you ghoul. Before you ask, the blacked out part just wasn't relevant to the conversation.)

And this is just the stuff I got out of a quick keyword search because I don't want to expend that much energy on this. God only knows what else is buried in there.

This tells me you aren't actually an ally. You're an "ally" when it's convenient for you or when you think it'll make you look good, but your allyship is conditional, and the second you're "crossed" by someone you claim to champion you throw their trauma back in their faces. Not even your supposed friends are safe from it, so what chance did we have of not getting harassed by you?

"But there's queer women in the Edelgard fandom who like him!" Okay? So he can't be engaging in harmful shit just because he has a queer friend? When has "I have a [blank] friend" EVER been an actual good faith defense against criticism? News flash, we're not a monolith, and just because some women and queer folk might like you or even agree with you doesn't mean you get to tell me how I should respond to my own fucking oppression. It is not your place to accuse me, a fucking queer woman, of having "internalized misogyny" or "internalized homophobia" every time I say something you don't personally like.

Frankly, from what I've seen of their server, it's less "queer women like him" and more like "queer women are too afraid to say anything against him" because whenever they try he cries to his pro-genocide mod buddy (THAT is a whole fucking story) who threatens to ban them.

And I'm not going to add these screenshots because I feel icky airing her personal business like that so explicitly, but I do have them. The woman involved in the censored screenshots above posted, in the server, about how unsafe she felt because she'd been threatened and silenced by cishet men for trying to talk about queerphobia. She left the server entirely after that.

And let's not forget what started this: he's thirty five years old and in many cases he's pulling this shit on people who are significantly younger than him. Exceeding a decade his junior in some cases. I point that out primarily for the power dynamic inherent to that. Not only is he privileged on the basis of race, gender, and orientation, he's fully developed and he knows what he's doing. He has the privilege of age and experience.

Fuck dude, he started going after some folks on Tumblr when they were still like? 18? 19? Not children, but fucking close.

I'll be very explicit because I know he's going to take this and try to accuse me of ageism, because that's what he always does when he gets called out for appropriating the language of social justice: you are a fucking adult. You have been an adult the entire time you have been in this fandom. As an adult, it's your job to be a fucking adult in these situations. Not to verbally abuse and harass inexperienced teens and early 20 somethings because they don't agree with your video game opinions. You are a grown ass 35 year old man man who thinks he's cool because he can "beat up", "cow", and "bitch slap" teenagers and early 20 somethings who are still developing, figuring themselves out, and learning how to express themselves in an articulate manner. Many of whom are already dealing with varying levels of actual trauma based on their upbringings (abusive, hateful, uncaring, or just generally unpleasant environments) or how they've been treated because of their identity (race, class, gender, sexual orientation, mental health, disability, sometimes multiple all at once) or both. That is why I keep bringing up your age.

It is quite possibly the single most embarrassing thing I have seen someone in fandom brag about. Not even just because you did it, Raxis, but because you're proud of it and you genuinely think it makes you look cool. It's embarrassing. You're embarrassing yourself.

#inb4 he accuses me of ageism #or one of his other old standbys he does to try and deflect criticism #Like the suuuuuuuper helpful anon who tells him how great and progressive he is #Or the good ol' 'accuse the eDeLcRiTs of any random baseless shit in the hopes my followers will think theyre worse than me #Heck maybe his buddy will run in to defend his honor like the last few times and then ignore me when I call them out for sending me threats #try a new tactic im bored of doing this same song and dance every time #or better yet why dont you just leave people alone when they ask you to?

39 notes · View notes

onejellyfishplease · 5 months

Note

I am all about constructive criticism. I mean, how am I supposed to get better at writing/drawing if people won't be honest with me and give me tips to get better. I personally think that people who can't take constructive criticism aren't very bright. How are they supposed to get better at things if they don't listen to others who are just trying to guide them?

Also, I would love some more tips on how to make the shell better. If you are willing, of course. :)

I am horrible at drawing. I usually have to trace things to get a decent drawing. (For instance, I traced like five different things to make Mikey a pony.)

I'm so much better at coloring than I am at drawing. My writing needs work, too, but I'm getting better.

First of all, can I just say that you shouldnt worry about tracing art to improve your own (as long as u aren't posting it as soley your own but thats a whole other rabbit hole) I did too! It helps build ground work for a good understanding of anatomy and poses.

However there are a few holes in tracing. Forst of all it is quite limiting in the outcome of your work, as your art is stuck static in one pose. this can alkost hinder your ability to see things in '3D' and visualise objects for multiple angles. it can also lead to 'skin wrapping' , which i think is the hole you fell into here (and also a term i just made up now)

with the shell, you only coloured it within Mikey's trace lines - this caused the shell to loose a lot of its mass - making it look, quite frankly, not like a shell.

a way to improve on this is to look at more references of Mikey's shell in the show and its shape from different angles. this can help you get a good idea of how it should look, and it is a good idea to practice drawing it from these angles. this will improve your ability to think in a 3D space, (which is so darn hard, but seriously useful)

however, and you may have noticed this yourself, when you add new additions to the figure, the line art just doesnt line up! the line quality is different!

This is because the line you have done for the addition is Your Line. And we love your line.

so lets make the rest of the traced lineart fit into your style, instead of you fitting yours into theirs okay?

You may notice that when you trace art, the line work is just not the same, the lines are shakier than the original and it just doesn't look as good. this is not a reflection of your skill.

It is because, usually, (at least when I did it) you follow the original line so closely that it turns out shaky, probably taking your pen off the page a few times to take a break from the oen stroke. while the original artist did that line in one sweeping stroke.

a way to fix this, and make the line arr cleaner and more you, is to instead use the drawing as a very close reference. for example:

instead of tracing the exact lines of the art, merely trace the general shapes of the art. not only then do you add your own flair and gesture to the drawing, you are then more free to add more shapes to this sketch.

You can still use the reference drawing as closly as you want, but try to focus less on getting the exact lines copied, and more on the general shape. you linework wont be perfect the first time, it might be really messy compared to your usual tracing, and thats fine! you should see some of my sketches before i refine them!

But these will be your lines, theyll be smoother and more gestural, and overtime you will get better control over your penstrokes doing this.

Okay I cant really think of anymore to add here, I hope this helps! i think this was just one big word vomit lol. Keep drawing!! cause no matter what you do, as long as you are actively drawing you are always improving! dont be afraid to push yourself out of you comfort zone! who cares if it doesnt turn out the way you wanted it to? Its your art, You Created That with your Own Hands, and I think that is amazing.

#asks #animal-lover-forever #i really hope this helped #its always hard for me to articulate my thoughts like this lol #YOU ARE GETTING BETTER #YOU ARE ALWAYS GETTING BETTER #art help #i hope #rottmnt #rottmnt mikey #mlp

36 notes · View notes

clonerightsagenda · 8 months

Text

everythingitcouldbe THE TAGS???? HELLO???

re: this post's tags, a 2 year old extremely silly conversation from discord making a lot of references to the Lambert Week video series

Kat thinking about the timeline of Lovelace's appearance again… Eiffel at some point after staring into space for several minutes: Captain I think you exist because the commander was having a breakdown Minkowski: has her fucking meltdown Eiffel: is consequently off the comms for a few weeks the aliens: print off a spycam to see what the fuck is going on Lovelace: enters this world with severe anxiety who says having a mental break and hunting a plant for 2 weeks isn't productive

Kate Summon a Captain and a friend

Kat my stream of consciousness from this point 'why did they think Lovelace was the best responsible adult to send' 'well they were trying to be Sneaky and she was the only one who had a craft they could copy and not be super obvious' 'what if at some point in s2 Lovelace is Not being a responsible adult and Eiffel is unable to broadcast for whatever reason and so the Listeners decide they will send in a responsible adult and just fuckin. teleport a Lambert on death's door in' Lambert, in the process of hacking up a lung, glowing blue: Why Aren't You Talking To Us Eiffel: So. Uh. Captain? Commander? Sorry to bother you but this nerd guy just appeared in Hilbert's lab and I think he's speaking in tongues? Also he might be dying. Anyway I'm still strapped to the table due to Lungs Exploded, please advise.

Gill the ghost of Hilbert's past sins

Kat Hilbert, walking in and assessing the situation: motherfucker

Kate Pffff

Kat Eiffel: Should I make room on the table??

Kate Eiffel is yelling because a guy just teleported into the lab. Minkowski is yelling because Will People Stop Randomly Appearing On Her Station. Lovelace is yelling because what is Lambert doing here, aren’t you dead, I had FINALLY managed to Cope and move on, what the fuck. Lambert is trying to yell but can’t because critical lung collapse Hilbert turns around and leaves

Gill Hera: Yup, same shit, different day.

Kat also bold of Lovelace to claim she has managed to Cope and move in while in season 2 Murder Mode

Kate She thinks she’s handling it very well and normally

Gill Lovelace: Some people?? Give a dude two liters of their blood? To cope???

Kat The aliens just want to know why their favorite podcast is on hiatus!! Their spycam was doing shuttle repairs and not watching their Boy, they needed to know what was Up

Gill so do you think they figure out how to keep their new spycam stable before he dies a second time and they have to reboot him

Kat probably not frankly it's not great for anyone involved

Kate I am a huge fan of Lambert dying and rebooting several times in a row before they figure out a stable configuration

Gill also, Lovelace, having progressed past terrified anger into giggling hysterically: I was right!! This is hell!! This is my own personal hell and I am stuck here forever!!!

Kat Lovelace just like D : Eiffel, still strapped to the table: cool cool this is cool

Kate It is deeply traumatic for everyone involved, except for Hera, who thinks it’s fascinating in a gross way, and Hilbert, who tbh also thinks it’s fascinating in a gross way

Kat someone please get Lovelace's heart rate trigger off

Gill Minkowski, approaching Lovelace: Captain….. I think we're in a very stressful situation…… and we should probably take the bomb trigger off your wrist until things calm down Lovelace: /is not in a headspace to receive this information

Kate Lambert keeps it together just long enough to say “the what” before dying for the third time in the past ten minutes Eiffel: oh yeah it’s this whole—aaaaand he’s gone again

Kat Hera: Is this how it normally works

Kate Eiffel: Hey doc is this what Decima does

Kat Hilbert: …. maybe?? Is unprecedented medical phenomenon. Might as well take credit.

Gill also i am absolutely picturing him at least once collapsing into Lovelace's arms and going "Captain, I think something's still really wrong with me /hurk /dies again" Lovelace: D'8

Kat He died not knowing Selberg was making them sick on purpose. I wonder if Hilbert would feel at all bad if one of his victims popped up still dying and asked for his help, because he's his doctor Probably not Lambert: Doctor, I - keels over Hilbert: Eh. Better luck next time

Gill Hilbert: Perhaps I can- Lovelace: NO!! Hell no you're why he's like this in the first place this is YOUR fault and you don't get to touch him

Kate This is the closest Decima has ever come to working Hilbert wants to Study

Gill alien blood vs Decima round 2: Oklahoman Cage Match

Kat Hilbert like well, I don't know that Decima can't make people manifest out of nowhere and revive repeatedly. His blinders are on really well Eiffel: is this my future. Am I going to get stuck in a respawn cycle Hera: I find it morbidly interesting when someone else's communication officer is spitting blood. I draw the line at my communication officer spitting blood

Gill honestly the level of Freak Out just makes it funnier if/when the Dear Listeners do figure out a stable configuration and Lambert has one last blood-hacking-up coughing fit before going "actually I feel much better now" (Lovelace refuses to put him down anyway)

Kat how much of that did you process Sam

Gill he heard shouting and then Captain Lovelace was squeezing him really hard

Kat Lambert: I guess I blacked out a few times - Hera: His vitals stopped a lot

Kate And then he glowed blue It was a little noticeable

Gill Eiffel: Also he asked when the broadcasts would resume in this weird echo-ey god voice.

Kate Minkowski: Okay. Okay. We are going to calm down and figure this out, calmly, together. Minkowski, glaring at each of them in turn: Minkowski: Hilbert, explain.

Kat Hilbert: No precedent for Decima virus producing bio-luminescence but I suppose - Eiffel: Listen I know my pop culture experience isn't respected here but that guy is 100% possessed Or a ghost? Can you be a possessed ghost? (Yes)

Gill Eiffel, putting a hand up: I'm not saying it was aliens, but…

Kat Eiffel: He manifested in here. This is a manifestation Minkowski: Eiffel you are on a lot of medication right now Hera: No that happened

Gill oh yeah I suppose if Lambert's been rebooted over and over again it's only when respiratory gets stable that he'd get to go through the Brain Reboot Thing so he's like half-conscious and clinging to Lovelace and mumbling something about being a goose

Kat Lambert, vaguely: I don't want to crunch the ice

Kate Lambert, half-conscious: you smell like musk. Lovelace: ….. thanks? Lambert: no. That’s bad

Kat Lambert, fuzzily glimpsing Eiffel: the future man…. he's bad at his job Eiffel: REALLY

Gill Hera: …how does he know about you? Lambert: Oh you're here too! Hello! You're a person!

Kate Hera: oh, he talks in a normal voice now? Lambert, pointing at the ceiling: you! I like you! You’re a person! Ha same braincell

Kat Lambert: Rheeeeeea. Heeeeera. That's a… that's an acronym. No that's not right… Minkowski, so lost: Anagram?

Gill Lambert: Is this… the future?? Lovelace, just completely beyond capacity at this point: Yes, Sam. Yes it is.

Kat Lovelace: Sam I think you need to rest and calm down, ok? Lambert: You were there too captain but you weren't…. yourself? Eiffel: : o Lovelace is also a possessed ghost?

Gill Minkowski: I think we all need to take a deep breath… and calm down. Lambert: /attempts to take a deep breath Lambert: /starts coughing again Lovelace: ( 8

Kat Eiffel also starts coughing so as to not be left out Minkowski gives Hilbert a death glare

Gill so is this before or after the events of the live show

Kat unclear but iirc Eiffel was not supposed to be out of bed in the liveshow and the dialog in Knock Knock would imply he got sent back to bedrest for a while Eiffel: Someone untie me I refuse to keep sleeping in here what if more ghosts manifest to yell at me. I think this lab is cursed

Kate Minkowski: Eiffel! You are not ready to leave bed rest! Do you want to end up like that? Eiffel: That wasn’t expressing a preference for non-ghosts to yell at me

Gill Lovelace: Ok but what if more of my dead friends do come back because they manifested to yell at you sounds like something worth testing

Kat Eiffel: Ok fine! Then Captain Lovelace has to stay here with me! Eiffel: Or a nightlight! I demand one of these things

Gill tbh if Lambert has to stay in the lab under observation I dont imagine Lovelace is leaving

Kat

Hera: Are you scared of the ghost? He doesn't seem that scary. mostly he's coughing up blood Eiffel: This is how zombie movies start Eiffel: if he bites me you have to vent me into space quick before I bite the commander Hera: Can I let you bite Hilbert first at least Eiffel: Yeah actually make sure I bite Hilbert

Kate Hera: he’s been mumbling about spreadsheets for twenty minutes. I don’t think he’d be interested in your brain. Hah

Gill Lambert talking in his sleep about scented candles Jumbling up his candle shopping adventure with random Pryce And Carter tips

Kate Lambert: nnnnnnnn… tip 24… sandalwood There is a wrong way to eat an oreo. It’s coziness points

Gill Lambert: Gay boy Lambert… is not proper emergency procedure…

Kate Lovelace, who is definitely not crying, shut up: Is he talking about Pryce and Carter’s in his sleep. I’m going to strangle him again.

Kat The aliens have still not gotten a new podcast episode. However they at least have eyes on their boy now and a slightly better understanding of the importance of lungs.

Gill Eiffel, on his next broadcast: she might kill me for saying this, but I swear to you, Dear Listeners, I heard the new guy say to Captain Lovelace something like “I think you have maximum smelly points Captain” and she started like, openly sobbing, and I don’t think it was because she was upset either

Kat "It's been a weird 24 hours!"

Gill Lambert waking up the next morning and interrogating Eiffel about how he’s here and what’s going on and also, why are you so bad at your job?? Eiffel would leave but he’s strapped to a table to prevent that exact thing

Kate Eiffel: You’re the one who just teleported here and then died in all of our arms at various points! I think I should be asking the questions here

Gill Lovelace, half-awake in a chair between both of them: can all of you stop being so loud this early Lambert: Whatre you doing already up, Captain?? Lovelace: Bold of you to assume I ever went to sleep Lambert: Captain…

Kat Lovelace is also low on blood at the moment

Gill Everyone in this medical lab is not doing so hot at the moment and is in various modes of hilarious mess

Kat Minkowski showing up in the morning with cups of coffee and granola bars like…. hello?? Eiffel: Hera did anyone else teleport onto the station Hera, darkly: not yet

Kate Minkowski: are any of you okay at all? Simultaneously, Lovelace says “yes,” Eiffel says “no,” and Lambert makes a whiny gurgly cough noise Minkowski: … I’ll take that as three “no”s

#everythingitcouldbe #replies #tales from the group chat #wolf 359

13 notes · View notes

amourrs · 13 days

Note

listen babe I’ve been following you since your very early obx fic days and let me just say i very much agree w you on this whole daddy/little kink regression issue.. like im highly aware that the nicknames “kid” and “daddy” amongst others have been used in media since the early 20th century especially as a girl who loves those types of media, and frankly has no issue with it when it’s utilized in a responsible/appropriate manner (excluding the nickname “dad” specifically, which ofc that’s a personal preference) … but we OBVIOUSLY have a problem w minors infesting the nsfw side of this website (which many smut writers already caution towards/complain about— not to say im in support of it whatsoever cause im 21 and have been on this app for a literal decade so ik how it affects the mind in the long run and am staunchly against that sort of activity but i digress) so i can’t help but find it quite hypocritical when coupled w the fact that some writers are utilizing language that obviously expresses a certain degree of naïveté and childlike thought processes/tendencies that can be triggering for some and if not can otherwise be interpreted as an expression of pandering towards pedophilic behaviors/thought processes, and i want to reiterate my point of it being the OVERALL language of some fics not just a couple nicknames so that no one misinterprets what i mean and gets their panties twisted. i, in fact, enjoy a little daddy/mommy kink here and there but the thing ab ddlg specifically is that it’s never even been considered morally “sound” in the first place and is generally held in regard as an unhealthy correlative coping mechanism in actual psychiatric and therapeutic spaces related to psychosexual tendencies, and I’m not referring to kink communities which are generally subjective in the first place and allow space for people to make excuses for themselves (quite literally majoring in this rn so y’all pls don’t try and come @ me im just reading what the data says). it’s a problem that’s grown out of proportion over the last few months and i think people are allowed to be discomforted about it in a vocal manner just as writers may defend their actions in a vocal manner, because realistically this kink encompasses a minuscule amount of the population and is not commonplace whatsoever so the average reader most likely won’t resonate with it and will notice the red flags regarding its growing exposure on this app; we all share this app and i completely understand why some are offended by the pushback, but unfortunately it’s not healthy and anyone who writes this type of content KNOWS!! not saying it’s everyone who dares to use a simple nickname or two, but a comprehensive look at the overall language and imagery of the fics.. in essentia, y’all should look into therapy ngl.. really explore why ur attracted to the idea of an authority figure making ur “princess parts” “feel funny”, and why u make ur characters so “naive”, “innocent”, and “inexperienced” that they don’t even know what their own CUNT is ! 😀

that’s all, and i thank you for using your platform to continue this conversation because it needs to be said <3

honestly couldn’t have said any of this better myself. also the very early obx fic days is crazy… that’s like over a year at least. genuinely insane. thank you for following me that long i love you 🫶🏽

#ask #one day i’ll go back to posting multifandom i swear guys

5 notes · View notes

undefeatablesin · 9 months

Note

girl has never been the same since she discovered ✨fangs✨ it's all she can think about now

(mind if i use aloysha's teeth as a reference for my own arts when trying to draw sharp teeth in humanoid mouths? just drawing piranha-like teeth doesn't sounds right😭😭)

Fangs have altered my brain chemistry and drawing them is all I think about 💙

But as for using my art for your own study, I am flattered you think my art is even usable for reference material frankly 🫢 However, if you haven't already, I would advise studying from photo references of both human and canid dental models first; especially if Aloysha's teeth are the sort of aesthetic you're going for! You really need to know what your subject matter actually looks like before you can translate it into artwork with confidence.

Studying from another artist is useful to a degree, as they have already gone through the work of simplifying and stylising the subject matter, and that can help a lot with figuring out your own style! But ultimately, nothing really compares to studying from the real thing. I mostly study wolf skulls and teeth as reference for Aloysha!

Making sharp teeth look belieavable in a human mouth relies on knowing what both animal teeth and human teeth look like, the different types and shapes of teeth, how they are spaced out in the jaw-what those teeth are actually for, even! Little details like that can influence and inform how you draw teeth and make them seem a lot more "correct" than they would otherwise ✨️

I am nowhere near a professional or an authority of course, but I feel imparting the advice and tips that have helped me might help you too! And I think that will help a lot more than looking at my art, as you will likely pick up mistakes I myself make by doing so 😂 but if you are still struggling after doing some photo study, then some light referencing won't hurt ✨️ obviously as long as my art isn't being directly copied or traced (for works that will be published especially), I don't have too many qualms.

#sinbox #(welcome to art advice hour with sin ig 😂)#(tldr study photos of animals with teeth that look like the sort u want to draw and u will be a lot better off)#(i am still a learning artist myself as is so i obviously dont have everything figured out yet either!!!)#(i hope this doesnt seem pretentious or anything omg!!!)#(i always encourage people to learn from real life. nobody likes to hear it 😂 including sin circa 2020.)#(but it does make a SUBSTANTIAL difference. i learned the hard way 😂😂😂)#(good luck in ur own fang drawing escapades!! i am always here to help with what knowledge i do have should you require it ✨️)

10 notes · View notes

cu-taibhseil · 25 days

Note

what's neo wicca and what's wrong with it?

I want to start off this answer by saying I didn't say anything was wrong with it inherently. I added "NeoWiccans" to that list in my pinned post, because I kept posting things that I do in my practice -- a practice that is and always has been folk magic / folk conjuration in nature -- and would have self-labeling NeoWiccans argue with me in the comments. Of my own post. On my own blog. And frankly, I got sick of it.

I don't think the umbrella of NeoWiccans are bad, when I say "NeoWiccan" or use the royal "they," I am referring specifically to NeoWiccans I've interacted with in the past and what they have done/do.

Now that I've cleared that up, when I (personally) use the word "NeoWiccan" on this blog I'm referring to everything aside from the "traditional Wiccan" branches, i.e. anything that is considered "Wicca" and is not strictly Gardnerian or Alexandrian. While Gardnerian and Alexandrian schools of Wicca have strict rules, protocols, and ways of doing things, NeoWiccans are similar to self-named "eclectic witches" and take from lots of schools of thought to build their practice. And like I said that isn't inherently a bad thing.

If you were looking for a simple answer that's where the simplicity stops. You're free to take the answer "NeoWicca is X, Y, and Z, and there's nothing wrong with it.*" and then you don't have to read the rest of this.

EDITED: For the record, I went and fixed the organization of that bottom part to solve any further miscommunications. Thanks a bunch for the ask, and the opportunity to speak my piece.

(* But if you're interested in the nuance, then stick around.) [cont. under the cut.]

If you're a NeoWiccan practitioner, and you're reading this, please make sure you're reading this in good faith. I am not in any way trying to shit on anyone's beliefs or practices -- or even anyone in particular. If you can read criticism from the outside of your practice and then keep scrolling, feel free to keep reading.

And if you can't. Well. Please don't send me anything too nasty. Remember the Threefold Law applies to Tumblr Asks, too.

(For legal reasons the above was a joke. But seriously don't be mean. Deleting asks takes so much time, and I only have the same 24 hours in a day that you do.)

[cont.] But it's what led to most of what, I -- a folk charmer who has never and will never practice any flavor of Wicca, see from the outside of NeoWiccan practice looking in, as a problem.

Most of my problem lies in the cultural appropriation inherent in the foundation of Wicca itself. But I'm not here to send that slaughtered horse through the meat-grinder. There have been so many more educated, better spoken, and experienced people in occult spaces discussing that particular topic that I would just say typing the words "Wicca" and "cultural appropriation" would keep anyone interested enough in that discussion busy for like a week straight. The bottom line in that are the inherent moral flaws I, personally, see in Wicca. Sure, we can also talk about the good things the Wiccan movements have done for modern witchcraft -- I am absolutely not throwing the baby out with the bath water, but I don't want to talk about that either, because that's also a proverbial horse that's been through the proverbial ringer.

(Disclaimer, the below paragraph is literally just me bitching. If you don't want to read a paragraph of me bitching about my experiences sharing the occult space, then you're free to go. No one was holding you hostage to read this post.)

And the smaller, but still just as important, part of my problem is how -- in my experience interacting with people in occult spaces -- the NeoWiccans I have attracted for no good reason seemed to argue about everything. I don't know if I just bring out the worst in those particular people -- which would suck because historically that has never been the case -- or what. But it's like every NeoWiccan person I've ever interacted with is the angriest and most argumentative person I've ever met. They argue about the history of Wicca (even though it's well-documented), they argue about verbiage used in Tumblr posts on blogs that have nothing to do with Wicca, they argue about how it's spelled "magick," they argue for their right to use white sage or why they're not making a bad decision by using it, they argue about why people don't cast a circle, they argue about the proper use of moon phases -- I could go on and on.

It might just be my praxis as a historically-fueled folk charmer coupled with my big opinions on things, but I got sick of self-identifying NeoWiccan practitioners coming onto my blog and arguing with me. So I added it to that list in my pinned post. It just so happens that shitty things like evangelicals and Neo-Nazis were also on that list before I added NeoWiccans. Nothing personal, just how the cookie crumbled, I guess.

#answered #sorry for the ramble #dont come for me lol #i delete asks sent from the mean part of peoples bodies

4 notes · View notes

yourtoradorasextendedwarranty · 9 months

Text

I really wish people could see more than a foot in front of their own faces sometimes. The phrase, "The path to hell is paved with good intentions" is a reference to when you try to keep doing good things only for it to lead to something ultimately bad.

Sadly, right now, that's the bulk of what we are doing in the west. It's what we have been doing for the past 10-15 years. Though it also burns me up that more people can't think ahead. Like this:

So here's the thing, stuff like this is good as an idea. However, read that again. A GOOD IDEA. Idea is the key word there. In practice, however, not so much.

The thing is, I'll use the picture above to make the point.

If this were put into practice you would end up with several issues.

-The cleanup costs for fallen fruits would have to be added to city costs (Also risk of falling fruit to vehicles and passerby's)

-Any missed fruit will end up rotting (leading to)

-Doing this would increase pests in the area, including flies and maggots

-Doing this would also lead to more large animals around these areas which could be a danger to residents in the area. The danger would also be faced by the homeless. (both from the animals and the pests)

People always want results NOW while not realizing that having your results now can end VERY poorly. Like drug use. Sure it probably feels good but getting off the drugs physically messes up your body, which is when withdrawals happen. And it can kill you at any point. So to the people that are like, "Just let them have their drugs". How about no. Especially not with my Tax dollars.

That however is my point. And it's almost every single policy that the modern left screams about.

-Eat the rich (The people that actually pay most of the taxes in the US by a landslide contrary to popular belief.) A concept that is not only stupid but the only people that push it are often just people that are angry and jealous they don't have that kind of money.

-Minimum Wage should be living wage (The costs on everything would go up be a long shot. And this would not fix inflation. This would also take wage decisions out of the hands of employers. The result of this would be companies not promoting people, and only hiring people they can objectively see staying with them for extended periods of time. The true results is that this tends to end up in MASSIVE discrimination when it comes to hiring. This would also further enable to STUPID levels of entry into companies. Like "at least 5 years old with 20 years experience and a PhD in space aliens. I don't want more of that.

-Landlords are evil scum and housing is a human right (except it's not. And it never will be) My tax dollars are mine. And I should not be forced more than I already am, to give money to people that often don't want to work. And before I get the barrage of "THEY DON'T WANT TO BE HOMELESS HOW DARE YOU~", or any other version of that, let me be clear. There ARE people that are homeless due to mental illness. And those people SHOULD be taken care of to some degree. However, at that point, bring back Asylums. If you want state funded asylums I would not mind if some of my tax dollars went that direction. However, there ARE a lot of homeless that opt to be homeless. I know because I've talked to them. Some of them just don't want to be on the grid at all, and they make a killing off panhandling. Some can make 100's if not 1000's a day. Frankly it bothers me.

More so the case when you realize being a victim is profitable. Because almost nothing sells better than sympathy.

But all of these are things I see people preach about, and it frustrates me to no end. How is it you want fruit trees in cities when they can't even keep people from pooping in the streets? Places like SF even have POOP MAPS and an entire new agency created because of the poop problem. And you want to pay MORE in taxes for the CHANCE to eat fruit or feed the homeless? That thing your state already claims it's supposed to be doing. And has spent 100's of Millions on? Clearly that's working as planned. And then you want to house the homeless for free in homes that belong to other people? And you expect those homes to not fall into squalor? Who's going to do the repairs? Who's going to pay the person that building and property belong to? Not the state. Who's going to make sure the building doesn't just end up as another worn down crack den with windows busted out and plywood over the windows with no heating or cooling or running water because it's all been stripped for drug money? Not the state.

None of you think anything through. Ever. And it shows. It's quite literally, "Oh this sounds good so we should do this" but you never consider the consequences of what you want. None of you do. You think because something sounds good that it IS good. Rather than realize that what you want could well lead to a devastating result. And all because you, "just wanted to help". Believe me. Wanting to help is a good thing. Just not when that help is not thought out. It's like the analogy. "If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime". In other words, if you give a man a hand out you might help him in the short term. If you teach a man to make his own way in life, he won't need a handout. And he will learn to fend for himself.

Now a days however, we have a lazy class of sheltered morons who think that since food exists in stores and amazon has stuff on it's site that SOMEHOW we are beyond scarcity. We are not. And without capitalism you lose your AC. You lose power. You lose your special vegan foods that can only really exist in a thriving system. Meanwhile you whine about capitalism when the actual issue you have is with the government and it's over regulation of everything rather than the actual economic system. Most of you are entitled little shits who frankly should be shipped to china, stripped of your citizenship, and be prevented reentry. Go live your communist dreams in a country that will literally torture you or kill you for burning their flag.

I've gotten off topic a bit by my point remains. You all need to think for yourselves. And you need to think ahead. And when you do, remember we don't live in a perfect world. Get out of your BS utopia that doesn't exist, and use your brain. Actions, no matter what they are, have consequences. Like this guy, who did something I personally view as a net positive. Except the government decided, "Hey, you are stepping on our toes. How dare you try to solve an issue that makes us so much money. When will you realize the ruling class LIKES homeless people because homelessness is profitable. Solving it is not. So they never will. And no it's not a "Republicans don't care" thing because in states like Texas our homeless issue is MINIMAL. And is mostly taken care of by each individual city. And they tend to handle it rather well. Unlike NY, SF, and LA. Speaking of LA:

youtube

Now granted. Do I think this guys idea would have failed long term? Yes actually. Do I think he had good intentions? Also yes. Do I think he did more for these people than the city or state ever has? Also yes. Because he did this out of his own pocket. Even went so far as to rent a lot out for these tiny homes. But listen to the video. Listen to what the politician says. But I think this idea at least is better than giving homeless of all kinds carte blanch to someone else's property. And they are super small, so they'd be easy to repair on your own after a day of pan handling. Does it solve the issue? No. Is it more than LA has done for it's homeless in decades? Also yes.

#discourse #Youtube

10 notes · View notes

songmingisthighs · 1 year

Text

Blog Rules + FAQ

I've been wanting to make this for a while because I feel like some of you don't have manners (I'm talking about you anons 1-8) and it's hurting those who I'm trying to accommodate (and me ??? bc y'all annoying as fuck, go suck a cactus)

this list will be updated as i go so please refer to this post if you ever want to know something regarding this blog

I don't have many rules bc honestly, this blog is both a joke and a safe space. but the most important rules that I implement are :

the anonymous function is there to accommodate those who want to interact but don't want to reveal themselves or don't have their own account so they borrowed someone else's account and just do not want to out themselves. so, if you have any complaints, comments, critiques, writing suggestions or even straight up hate comments, do it to me off anon or else that's you giving me your consent to absolutely obliterate the fuck out of you and I'm not even kidding when i say i can be SO MEAN when i want to be

that being said, if you do have genuine questions or confusion or even want me to elaborate on some things, do consider the words you use and their connotations. there's a difference between "i don't think this makes sense" and "i don't quite understand this, what does this part means?" or "you're offensive" and "i feel like the word you use is rather insensitive" and I would GLADLY make a 2 page essay to explain my thought process because i know that sometimes the things i say can rub some people the wrong way even though i don't mean it. but for the sake of the shit i wrote like to imitate real conversations between characters esp in terms of like how close and comfortable they are with each other (the kind of relationship hey have), I'm risking myself offending some of you but that's why i am beyond willing to explain myself if y'all ask bc let's be honest, i can't post an explanation after EVERY post when no one is complaining.

tone indicators (/j, /hj, /gen, /affectionate) are never wrong esp if you and i haven't established a relationship bc there are some anons and some blogs that i interact with a lot and we are aware of our relationship alr

keep in mind that these rules exist to protect myself and the anons who genuinely do want to interact with my blog as anons. if you break any of my rules or if you cross me in any sort of way, i have god, an emoji creature that creeps the fuck out of everyone i know, and the fact that I'm a virgo with nothing to lose on my side, so you WILL get wrecked one way or another.

that being said, here are some of the FAQs i got.

q. do you do requests?

a. no, i'm not taking requests. between my series and the recurring ideas that randomly pops up in my head, i don't have the time and energy and frankly i don't want to disappoint. BUT !! if someone sends me an unsolicited request and it ended up inspiring me, i might do it but i'm not promising anything

q. do you only write for ateez?

a. rn yes, but it seems like I'm gonna start writing for xikers ??? and even though most of their members have reached legal age, i am currently not comfortable writing mature/rated stuff for them yet. rn I'm even still incorporating them into my ateez fics as to familiarize myself and i even have this baby!xikers and dad!ateez au thing i made with my friend so for now, that's the best i can provide

q. do you write yandere or darker themes?

a. it depends. i'm still struggling to label certain stuff ??? like i'm still familiarizing myself to the concept of CNC and kinkier stuffs and I'm still expanding my knowledge. that being said, i draw the line on the sexualization of : rape, incest, drugging, bestiality, (and more to be added bc ngl i can't think of anything else rn so I'll get back to you on that)

q. are minors allowed to interacy with your blog ?

a. absolutely, anyone is welcomed. but for the sake of safety and me not being cancelled, if you are a minor, please do not react with my mature stuff or the mature stuff i reblog. I'm putting a lot of trust in yiu guys so please DO NOT betray my trust

q. what apps do you use for your smau ?

a. i use Twinote and Fake Chat which are on android (google play) but idk if it's available on apple store

#smt tmi #blog rules #faq #songmingisthighs

13 notes · View notes

peachy-panic · 2 years

Text

Day Two

BACK TO THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED CLINIC ARC. Sorry (Not Sorry) for the brief very dark interlude.

Continues from here.

WARNINGS: Discussions of addiction/forced drugging, BBU/BBU-adjacent and all that comes with that, issues with food

Jaime is noticeably distant the next morning. From the moment he is brought into the clinic, he has taken to his tasks in complete silence, the walls behind his averted eyes slammed shut.

So, maybe Sebastian isn’t the only one who’s been thinking about Smith’s little revelation at the end of yesterday’s shift.

Sebastian goes through about twenty different—increasingly disastrous—iterations of a conversation in his head as the morning goes on, trying to determine if bringing it up again will clear the air between them or only serve to push Jaime further into his… embarrassment or shame or whatever it is that has made him retreat.

Or maybe Jaime’s mood has nothing to do with him at all. Maybe Sebastian isn’t the center of the fucking universe, and maybe, just maybe, there are bigger fish to fry when your whole entire world is condensed to the confines of this god-awful place.

So he tries to ignore it for a little while. Give him some space.

And then he can’t do that anymore.

He carves out an extra fifteen minutes before his usual lunch break to drive to a nearby deli. He picks up two turkey sandwiches and a cup of fruit, then has a mini-crisis over a bottle of soda, picking it up and putting it back down three separate times before deciding against it. He’s already pushing the boundaries of Jaime’s strict “nutrition” regimen, and while he frankly couldn’t give a flying fuck about their fucked up rules, he has no desire to hurt Jaime’s stomach with a sudden influx of sugar that his body isn’t used to.

Bag in hand, he speeds back to the facility and into the clinic, bravely taking a deep breath before approaching his own office. “Hey.” He raps lightly on the doorframe, startling Jaime from his work. He meets his eyes for half a second before dropping down to his chin. Sebastian bites his cheek. “Break for lunch?” he asks.

“Oh.” He sees Jaime’s eyes flit quickly to the clock and back. “I can work while I eat,” he offers. “I don’t mind.”

“Well,” Sebastian says, keeping his voice light, “I was thinking maybe we could have lunch… together? If that’s alright with you?” He knows he can’t realistically expect anything other than affirmation, but he can’t stop himself from asking anyway. “I was actually hoping we could, um. That we could talk?”

It’s quickly concealed, but not before Sebastian spots it: the tiny flash of panic in his eyes. Then Jaime nods, pushing back slightly from the desk. “Of course. Would you like me to go to the cafeteria now and bring it back? I’ll…” He pauses, looking suddenly embarrassed. “I’ll need a handler to escort me.”

“About that.” Sebastian smiles a bit ruefully, giving the paper bag in his hand a little shake. “Lunch is on me today.”

Jaime’s gaze drops to the bag as if he has just noticed it. He swallows hard enough that Sebastian can track the movement in his throat all the way down. His hands fidget in his lap before he seems to remember himself and presses them flat against his thighs. “I’m sorry,” Jaime says. “I’m… Thank you. But. I’m— I’m not supposed to have outside food unless my primary signs off on it.”

Sebastian can’t help but grimace at the reference to fucking Smith and the reminder of the small, twisted plays of power he holds over those in his control. He lends a brief moment to acknowledge just how awful it must be to have him, specifically, as a primary handler. Then scrambles to push the thought away when his chest feels like it might cave in.

“It’s healthy,” Sebastian tries. “Or, you know, relatively I guess. It’s not dripping in grease or out of a microwave or anything. And there are some vegetables involved. And fruit. As a doctor, I can confirm these are inarguably Good Things.”

His only response is an uncertain shift of Jaime’s weight in the chair. Sebastian’s forced cheer sags just a bit. He breathes out. “Alright,” he says, shifting gears. “How about this: I’ll call someone to escort you to the cafeteria, you can bring your barely-edible tray of food back here, and then if we just so happen to be eating lunch in the same vicinity, and I just so happen to have ordered an extra sandwich that I can’t eat… Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right?”

The hesitation isn’t quite dissipated from Jaime’s eyes, and Sebastian feels a sinking regret. Some hindsight-clarity telling him that his actions, well intended as they may be, might only serve to make Jaime more miserable in the end. Maybe eating a bland lunch is actually a lesser evil than this mental torment being presented to him as a favor.

But then, Jaime nods. “Okay.”

In the end, Sebastian calls for Julian specifically, texting him on his personal number instead of paging the handler server for an escort. They may not be the best of friends, but Sebastian would rather it be him than deliver Jaime into the hands of someone who might use this lunch trip as an excuse to hurt him.

“Tate.” He nods curtly when he enters, then turns his attention to Jaime. “Let’s go,” he says. Sebastian doesn’t think he’s imagining the softness that slips into the command. He also doesn’t miss the careful way his hand cups behind Jaime’s elbow, instead of the usual manner of grabbing and shoving.

Jaime returns a few minutes later clutching a tray between his hands. Julian turns and leaves before Sebastian can mutter a ‘thank you.’ “Back to the office?” Sebastian suggests. Not like they’re swimming in options. Once again, Jaime nods.

They settle into the small space, which feels even smaller with the two of them crammed around the desk. Sebastian is met with only a brief moment of hesitation when he insists Jaime take the comfortable chair. They end up in a backward image of the first time they sat here together, just yesterday. It’s a strange reversal of the power dynamic that exists between them in every other aspect of life: Jaime behind the desk and Sebastian slumped on hard plastic across from it. The thought makes him smile, but then he wonders if Jaime notices the strangeness too. If it makes him uncomfortable.

Best not to dwell on it. They have enough to unpack over deli sandwiches and shitty chicken today.

“Listen,” Sebastian begins softly after he has swallowed his first bite. “I want to just… get it out there. About yesterday. All that shit that Smith said about your history…” If there was ever a right way to approach this, he has definitely missed the mark. Jaime’s shoulders draw up to his ears, a light flush spreading across his cheekbones. Sebastian presses forward. “Everybody has a past, okay? I’m certainly not here to judge yours.”

Jaime’s fork breaks the surface of the mound of white rice. He doesn’t take a bite, and he doesn’t look at him.

Sebastian tries again. “It doesn’t change anything, you know. Not… I mean, just in the sense that I still want you here. If you want to be,” he adds quickly. “I understand that maybe you didn’t feel comfortable telling me about your background with… with drugs, or maybe you weren’t allowed to. Either way, I don’t want to put you in harm’s way. Ever. That includes putting you in a position that could make you potentially”—he winces—“you know. Relapse.”

Jaime is quiet for a long time. A few times, Sebastian catches a twitch in his mouth, like he starts to say something then shuts it down. Finally, he forces a heartbreaking imitation of a smile into his expression and meets Sebastian’s gaze. “Your concern is very generous, Dr. Tate. Thank you. But”—he stops again, watching Sebastian carefully, like even the mildest contradiction will get him in trouble—“I don’t believe I’m at risk of relapse in here.”

As much as Sebastian is tempted to take him at his word and leave it there, he hears himself say, “Oh?”

The narrow shoulders across from him tense, the fork clinking against the side of his bowl as he sets it down. Jaime’s voice drops into the robotic delivery Sebastian’s heard before. “The rehabilitation program here has put me on a really good path.”

Uh-huhhhh.

Desperate for something to fill the chasm of silence that follows that line of absolute bullshit, Sebastian rips another bite out of his sandwich, chewing a little more aggressively than what is probably attractive. He follows it up with a long swig of water, wishing it was… god, anything stronger than that. “That’s…” He struggles for an appropriate response. “Well, that’s good. Obviously. But— you know it would be okay if you were not okay, right? I’m sure it’s nothing you haven’t heard before, but addiction is… well, it’s a disease and—”

He stops short, freezing mid-word when Jaime’s mouth opens. It closes a second later, jaw working, but it’s something about the way it’s accompanied by his hands on the table, closing into two tight fists. Frustration. Almost… anger.

Sebastian glances quickly toward the door, making sure it’s sealed before he continues. Even then, he keeps his voice low. “Jaime,” he says. The use of his name, as always, is enough to summon his eyes to his. This time, they’re filled with a shallow glimmer of moisture. “What is it? What were you going to say?”

Slowly, Jaime’s palms unfurl against the desk. He takes a deep breath in through his nose and lets it fall out of him carefully. After a couple of blinks, the tears are gone. “Nothing,” he says, visibly shutting himself down. “I didn’t… I’m sorry.”

No. Fuck. He can’t… Sebastian was so close to getting him to let his guard down for just a second, and he feels himself scrambling as Jaime’s walls begin to shutter again.

“Please,” he whispers, suddenly desperate for even a piece of this boy’s truth. His trust, even if he has done little to deserve it. “You can talk here. You can tell me whatever. I’m listening.”

The quiet bleeds into long minutes, but Sebastian can’t bring himself to break it this time. It’s a fragile thing suspended between them now, and he fears that even the slightest shift of pressure will shatter it to pieces.

He’s just about to concede to his refusal when Jaime clears his throat.

“Handler Smith,” he says, each syllable precise and careful on his lips, “didn’t… He wasn’t…” Jaime pushes his tray slightly away from him, crossing one arm to cover the crook of his opposite elbow. The tender, pale spot that Smith had twisted toward the light the day before to expose his secrets. Track marks. The word is still razor sharp in his memory. Jaime takes another deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut. “I-I’m not…”

A sudden conclusion, even without any confirmation of its merit, knocks the wind out of Sebastian. He has to reach out for the edge of the desk to steady himself in his chair. “Jaime,” he breathes, his eyes steady and intent on his. “Was Handler Smith… lying?”

All the answer he needs is in the tense silence that follows. The way Jaime’s gaze holds his, pleading with him to hear the words he can’t say out loud.

And he does. God, he does.

***

Jaime’s hands are shaking when Dr. Tate pushes the sandwich across the table toward him. He stares at it for a moment, wrapped up in some kind of white paper and filling the room with a mouthwatering, savory smell. Dr. Tate is watching him with an expression that doesn’t quite make him shrink away, but he can still feel the attention burning every inch of exposed skin. His heart is beating out of his chest with the weight of what he has just done. What he has said.

“Can.. Can we try something?” Dr. Tate says after a long moment. Jaime nods automatically and is rewarded with a slightly uneasy smile. “Can you… Okay. If what I said just now is true… can you unwrap the paper?”

A new flood of something crashes over him—some war between relief and terror and poisonous rebellion—and Jaime brings his hands to the sandwich. With trembling fingers, he pulls back the folds of paper one at a time. The rustle of paper seems to echo off the walls of the small space around them. When it’s done, he dares to meet Dr. Tate’s. The other man lets out a long breath. Then nods.

“Okay,” he says. “Yes. That’s. Okay. If…” He swallows, hesitating. “If you didn’t put those marks on your arm yourself, take a bite?” His eyes dart quickly between the sandwich and Jaime’s face, then he adds, more quietly, “If you want.”

Jaime can feel the aftershocks of his withdrawal almost as potently as if it is happening now. The cold, solid floor beneath his skin for days on end. The sheen of sweat. The viscous twist of his stomach. The pain, everywhere, worse with every breath and movement. He can still feel the icy drip of horror in his veins as his handler reads off a sheet of forged paperwork, slamming the final nail into his coffin

There are tears in his eyes again, but he does not let them fall. Instead, Jaime reaches out and fits both hands around the food that has been placed in front of him, soft, heavenly bread giving under the pressure of his fingers. He holds Dr. Tate’s eyes as he takes his first bite.

Whether it’s the luxury of flavor after so long without it, or the taste of the truth in his mouth after so many fucking lies, as Jaime chews and swallows, it feels...

It almost feels like strength.

***

TAG LIST: @whumpervescence @shiningstarofwinter @distinctlywhumpthing @whumptywhumpdump @nicolepascaline @anotherbluntpencil @hold-him-down @crystalquartzwhump @maracujatangerine @batfacedliar-yetagain @thecyrulik @pumpkin-spice-whump @melancholy-in-the-morning @also-finder-of-rings @insaneinthepaingame @skyhawkwolf @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @mylifeisonthebookshelf @dont-touch-my-soup @whump-world @inpainandsuffering @cicatrix-energy

#do no harm: jaime & sebastian #bbu #like bbu adjacent?#whump #whump writing #whumplr #addiction cw #troubles with food cw

82 notes · View notes

rivetgoth · 1 year

Text

I just feel like the entire idea of trying to recreate a binary system via categorizing people as “binary” or “not binary” is a total failure of the trans rights movement. I think if we are serious about dismantling sex segregation it is completely contradictory to then act like there is a tangible difference between the experiences of trans individuals based on what labels they use— And that’s all that binary vs nonbinary really amounts to, semantics and interpersonal identity, because at the end of the day there are “binary” trans people who “boymode” or “girlmode,” who never fully medically transition, who actively choose to live a lifestyle or present in a way that is completely gender nonconforming, while there are self-identifying nonbinary people who fully medically transition and comfortably live as the opposite sex. The trans community has put soooo much emphasis on the fact that there is no wrong way to be trans and yet still seems so convinced that there is any tangible way to delineate between binary and nonbinary identity, it’s just ridiculous. Systemically and materially, nobody is enacting different policies or treatment against binary and nonbinary trans individuals, and the issues one of these groups face 1000% overlaps with the issues the other does to the point that there is no good faith reason to make a distinction aside from regressive and dismissive “I have it worse than you” finger-pointing.

I genuinely believe that all trans people, regardless of where they are in their transition or how they identify, are “not binary” in a way that matters in western cishetero society. The gender binary doesn’t have space for trans identity. It’s built on reproduction, sex segregation, the nuclear family unit, heterosexuality, gender roles, and a plethora of expectations related to sex and the body that trans people can AT BEST try our absolute damn hardest to conform to but frankly never fully will. Trans women are not seen as “binary women” and trans men are not seen as “binary men.” The vast majority of society, even queer/LGBT spaces, mean something very particular when they say “man” or “woman” and trans people are not included within that category no matter how “binary” their identity is.

I’ve said it before and I will keep saying it, I identify as a “binary” man because that is how I view myself and it’s what best describes my material desires, how I wish to be perceived and the choices I’ve made for my body. But I also have not undergone bottom surgery and I have no plans for a vaginectomy, by choice. This is a deeply personal decision for me but it’s one I don’t mind sharing in part because I think it’s an experience worth talking about— I’ve jokingly said that the gender binary has no place in it for cuntboys but I mean it! I have referred to myself as genderqueer in the past despite calling myself “just” a man because my experience with gender is “queered.” The labels I use or the way I perceive myself doesn’t negate that the choices I’ve made regarding my body and my life mean that the gender binary will never be something I fully fit into. I think trans bodies are inherently nonbinary and I think that the trans experience is inherently nonbinary, because the gender binary is just as much tied in with conforming to the cishetero sex binary as well. Our bodies are not binary male or binary female. Just the act of choosing to take our identities into our own hands and modify our body to our choosing displaces us from the binary. And I’d even go a step further and say that one of my big issues with the trans community at large right now is the fact that so many trans activists have fallen into this milquetoast respectability mindset that sex is an immovable, fixed reality and as trans people it’s just our gender changing, not our sex. This is not true. Sex is not fixed, sex is not a binary, & transsexuality is real.

#transsexuality

23 notes · View notes

imagine-sterek · 5 months

Note

I would like to share my quick opinion on ai if you don't mind, cuz let's actively discuss it. I myself am against ai, specifically in terms of usage in creative spaces such as art and writing. I understand that there is ai in programs and apps such as grammarly and canva and such, but just something is made use of in a place doesn't necessarily mean that it should be there if I'm making sense with that outlook. I can completely understand your desire to use it to make things easier, but I also see the other side especially since I'm and artist and writer myself. I for am not keen for the usage of ai in fandom spaces like this, and please correct me if I'm wrong or have a completely skewed idea of it here, I do have an opinion but I don't have 100% knowledge to back it up. I feel like it's not right because of the theft aspect in regards to the art or writing side of it as ai is trained to create those things specifically by feeding it already existing art and writing. But there is still leeway and places for it to be used. I'm not trying to force my opinion you here, please don't think that, I just want to bring up areas to talk through since I feel like you are willing to do that in an open and polite way if the intent isn't to be rude. I feel like ai could be applied in a lot of ways and although there's controversy in this regard, this isn't the be all and end all of it. I don't know if my rambling made any sense but yeah:)

- Tae

Hi Tae,

Absolutely! I have friends who know a lot about technology and computers, some are game devs, some are artists and writers, and I myself am a writer, so I’ve had discussions about AI from all sorts of different angles and I’m happy to listen to others opinions and points of view.

I agree, the way in which it was trained is, frankly, criminal. It was trained off of stolen art and writing that the developers had no right to and the implementing of AI in everything we use is an attempt to force compliance and sweep their transgressions under the rug. But just because it’s there doesn’t mean we have to use it, and if we do use it, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing or used in a bad way.

I also agree with you about the leeway. This is going to seem controversial, but hear me out: when people photoshop edits for fandoms, they have no legal right to those photos—the photographer does. In the art world, these edits and photoshopping is called transformative art or adaptation, where changing roughly 80% or more of a work is seen as transformative and not infringing on copyright. Like Andy Warhol using Marilyn Monroe’s picture to make the famous pop art piece or the photo of Obama becoming the famous Obama HOPE poster (and several meme versions that followed).

So what’s the difference between someone photoshopping a ship together and using AI to create the same image?

The only difference is the lack of the human element, but both are arguably transformative works and both are legally allowed under the fair use laws.

There are other ways that you could use AI in a positive way: you could use ChatGPT to give you prompts for writing or and AI image generator to put together inspiration or reference material that you then work off.

The problem is when people use the AI that was trained off of material they had no right to to then create something they aim to pass off as their own. When people use ChatGPT to write a story and then publish it (either fanfiction or actual stories they could earn money from publishing), or art works that they didn’t put any effort into, then it’s a bigger problem than just a program trained off of stolen material; it’s people stealing that stolen material.

The biggest problem is that the people who trained the AI won’t own up to using the material they had no right to or make any attempts at restitution.

AI is the Frankenstein’s monster of our culture: it didn’t ask to be made and it didn’t ask to be made mosnerous, the fault lies with those who made it and those who push it to do bad things.

AI can be used in ways that benefit writers and artists, but the biggest problem we face - as I see it - is people trying to pass the AI generated material (which is based off of stolen material) as their own.

#ai #reply #I hope that answers any questions you had

5 notes · View notes

jmflowers · 1 year

Note

You said hit me with your prompts so…

I haven’t seen any fic yet explore Maya contemplating or wanting to carry their second child, now that she’s secure in her motherhood what it means to be a family.

Anon, I have been sitting with this prompt for, frankly, months. Just like… stewing it in my head because it’s so good. So good, in fact that it became part of the Hygge Universe “canon” timeline, where it will live for all eternity.

I had every intention of writing this one for you. I still want to. I still might. Life, however, decided that three of the women closest to me that wanted children would all get pregnant within a few months of each other and well, I’m going to be an aunt for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time this spring.

With so many new lives anticipated this year, there are aspects of this story that I can’t write. Not right now. Maybe not ever. But certainly not until my nieces and/or nephews are safely in my arms. I have every faith that you will understand my reasonings.

I outlined this one, though, like much of the Hygge Universe still to come. And I know that one day soon, these stories will no longer be canon compliant and some or all of us will move onto new tales. It pains me to imagine this little bit never getting the light of day at all.

So, thanks to the urging of a couple of great friends, the answer to this prompt is outlined below the cut. I hope a tiny taste is enough.

prompt #11:

(For reference: at this point in season 6, Hygge Universe is still nearly 100% canon compliant.)

It’s 2024. Andrea has just recently turned 1. Maya and Carina have settled into that comfortable space of parenthood where you suddenly look around and go, “Holy shit, we actually know what we’re doing?” It’s a glorious place to find oneself.

That comfort in the routine is what starts the first spark of want in Carina. Or maybe it’s a comment made at Andrea’s first birthday party about what a great big brother he’d be. Either way, the desire begins to fester in her.

She dreams of another baby held in Maya’s arms, someone for Andrea to grow up with, a way for them to nourish the sibling bond that she so cherished with her own brother. Another chance to break the patterns of their own childhoods, knowing that their children will never be placed in competition with each other or separated or made to feel as though they aren’t safe.

It’s an intoxicating image.

Maya, however, isn’t quite as sure about this idea when the topic is broached. Not for the first time, they come to heads about it. Maya is still in therapy, still trying to work through the traumas of her childhood. Motherhood is amazing and wonderful and she’s so grateful for every moment of their family, but her career isn’t yet where she wants it to be. She isn’t where she wants to be. And so, she denies it. Snuffs out the dream, a little.

Tries to convince Carina that they can be happy with exactly what they have.

Carina tries to convince herself, too.

Only, Maya’s career goals begin to flourish shortly after. Something changes that allows her to get back onto the track she’d once been denied. She’s not a captain again – yet – but there’s signs that it’s coming and the future suddenly looks promised, hopeful even, again.

The proverbial cloud lifts and Maya can picture the years ahead. Can imagine their family of three becoming four. It’s like the first time; the flick of a switch and there’s suddenly nothing she wants more than to see Andrea as an older brother, Carina as a mother once more, their family completed.

So, they agree to start trying.

Trying, as a queer couple, means heading to the fertility clinic. Because the first time they did this, it took like 10 attempts of IUI to work and Carina knows that could mean something is wrong. She wants to be sure they’re making the most educated choices (even if she hates the idea of something as beautiful and romantic as creating their child becoming something clinical, ironically).

The doctor wants them to have the best chances. IVF, though expensive, results in a greater likelihood of a successful pregnancy. They could use the same donor sperm as before, have it injected into one of their eggs in the lab, and then implant one or more viable embryos. It’s all very medical and unnerving and not exactly their speed, but Carina agrees that it’s the best course of action.

Maya, however, gets a little stuck on the cost. They’d have spent more than $6000 on sperm to create Andrea. IVF is even more expensive. So, while Carina is toying with the idea of reciprocal IVF using Maya’s eggs or regular IVF with her own eggs, Maya is clipboard spiralling.

She spirals so hard, in fact, that she begins to weigh all of the possible options – including carrying the child herself so they can try IUI again instead. She’s younger and she remembers the heartbreak Carina had felt with each unsuccessful attempt and thinks, maybe, she could protect Carina from all of that if it was her body going through it.

But, she’s back on the career track and getting pregnant could derail that again. Even trying to get pregnant could derail it. She wants their family and she wants Carina to be happy and she wants her job and she can’t seem to make all of these pieces fit together in a way that makes sense. She mulls it over so quietly and so intensely that she makes herself a little crazy.

See, Maya’s in therapy and really, truly doing better, but she’s still kind of a dumb ass when it comes to communication. So, while Carina would notice that something was going on, it wouldn’t be given voice right away and would probably only spill out when Carina’s finally had enough and gone, “Seriously, what the fuck.” (Except she’d say that sentiment way more eloquently.)

Maya will have tried so hard to make herself want to carry their child that she will feel as though she’s failed when she still hasn’t managed to convince herself. That devastation at her own inability is what Carina will find when they finally crack the surface of clipboard Maya.

Ultimately, though, Maya doesn’t care if their children are biologically hers. She doesn’t care if they have any blood relation to herself at all. Because she looks at Andrea and sees only her son. He has the features of the woman she loves, yes, but he’s also just this little human being that they hoped and wished and fought for. (And, realistically, she knows it could be better for both their kids from a medical standpoint if they have more genetics in common.)

Which is what gets Carina responding along the lines of, “You fucking idiot (affectionate).” She tells Maya that it’s okay, even though it was difficult the last time. That she doesn’t need protecting. That, actually, Maya being the one to not get pregnant successfully when they try wouldn’t make it hurt less.

She would also point out that Maya wouldn’t be able to guarantee no miscarriages or negative pregnancy tests just by the sheer will of it being her own body. There’s no control, really, in instances of trying to procreate. No matter the methods involved.

(This is where my own brain gets stuck because Carina wants to carry their children and trying to communicate that desire in a way that is authentic is challenging. And while I am writing this fic universe for representation’s sake and showcasing queer families that are simply soft and lovely and safe… this whole wanting kids thing is not actually on my own radar. Hence some of the stewing that has occurred. I really, really love being an aunt instead.)

Anyways, they proceed with IVF. They utilize the same donor as they did with Andrea – someone who looks a bit like Maya, though I haven’t really said that anywhere in Hygge thus far. They opt to use Carina’s egg again, which means the whole messy process of hormones and egg retrieval and the shit that both sucks and is a privilege all at once.

And the first implantation takes.

They settle into that cozy, quiet reality of discovering something you’ve dreamed of is coming true. Where no one knows but the two of them. They whisper about it between the covers, hands gravitating to Carina’s abdomen though nothing noticeable is there yet. They share giggly kisses. They bask in the wonder of the life ahead.

Until Carina miscarries.

This… this is the part I cannot write, anon. But it needs to be there.

Because this grief? It is quiet and it is loud. It is secret and all-consuming. It is a grief we are expected to tuck away into corners and overcome in silence. But it is a grief that more parents face than we speak about. It is the harshest reality of creating children. And it is the reality most of us will face at some point, whether we are dreaming of children of our own or loving someone who is.

Maya, in the devastation, will attempt to shoulder the loss. Only, she can’t. She can’t take the pain of it away. She can’t fix it and she can’t control it. This, I think, would be the first time in their motherhood that Maya would have to just… completely let go and have faith.

She’s been close once or twice by this point… when she rushed home after a difficult call to hug Carina in the early days of their pregnancy with Andrea. Those first six weeks of his life, when she’d taken the time off work and attempted to be still with them. Even the decision to try for a second child amidst the fear has been another step towards her growth. But this… the aftermath of grief over their loss is a really big turning point. How could it not be?

Maybe that’s what makes the next implantation feel so different. Maybe that’s why they’re tentative and calm when it takes, when the pregnancy test is positive. When the promise of a future starts to appear before them again.

This little embryo becomes Beatrice. They whisper about her beneath the covers, hands gravitating to Carina’s abdomen as she grows within. They share giggly kisses and quiet tears. Bea moves, more than Andrea ever did, and Carina calls her, “your daughter” so many times that Maya can’t imagine her being anything but.

And yeah, she couldn’t make herself want to carry her inside her body physically. But she carries in her heart and in her arms for the rest of her life. Just as she does with their son.

You see, Maya is already a mother – biology be damned.

And all of that is why, on the day of Beatrice’s birth, Maya thanks Carina for doing this again.

#been sitting with this prompt since july #prompt party #hygge universe #sort of a response but also not really #yes it’s maya x carina #yes it’ll go in hygge #janelle's asks #maya x carina fic #carina x maya fic #station 19 fic #minefic #all of those things but just a fic outline #thanks to apf for telling me I could just share this one this way and not put myself through the grief #tw: miscarriage #mention of miscarriage #this can be in your head as you read hygge because its in mine as I write it #and when I say that you can ask me pretty much anything about the hygge timeline because I've outlined it all... I mean it #I have the entire timeline mentally mapped out just like this and will probably never get to write it all #so you can ask whatever and I'll answer anything I'm not already working on

18 notes · View notes