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#i think it turned out pretty nice
keeps-ache · 2 years
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didn't you lose yourself in those chains?
[highly recommended you click and zoom __(:'o_)\_]
[just background and transparent below :D]
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hanymelon · 2 years
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Mammon Dakimakura commission for @katsucandy 
✨commissions | ko-fi | twitter
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3llix · 1 year
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First Impressions.
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idontactuallywherepjs · 3 months
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Having a word with the Ocean
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rizardofether · 3 months
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Who am I?
An idea that started with me thinking about a game idea made in the style of a visual novel in a fantasy setting centered around a kingdom's noble families. Political intrigue and mystery.
The player character would be created in the beginning, dollmaker-style since it would be in 2D. The race, appearance, outfit and noble family would be chosen in the CC, each race having a couple different options.
The game would start with you waking up in a bedroom. The game tells you that you are not the character you've just made but are instead a regular person who ended up in that body, whether that is meant to be you as in the player or the POV character themself is left unclear.
The intro is your attendant, who they are depends on the noble family that was chosen, coming to your room, finding out you have no memories, and explaining that you were in an accident, likely being the cause for the memory loss. You get to choose your character's first name, and personality traits they used to have before the incident.
The gameplay would then be you attempting to act in a way the chosen character would act to not raise suspicion while investigating the cause of the incident, finding it suspicious. The run would end with you figuring out who caused it and finding a way to make them face justice.
The player could then start a new playthrough with a new character. The incidents and events would be varied but the backstory of the character being someone who just woke up in this body remains consistent.
As you play more and more and discover new secrets, you start to find out about the POV character, that they are indeed meant to be their own character and not just a stand-in for the player. They begin to awaken vague memories about their life before, and eventually realize they remember each of the playthroughs of the game, being stuck in a type of timeloop, with the character they end up possessing being different each time.
Their memories of their original self being very vague and the many roles they take in the game leading to an identity crisis. The true endings relating to the player character themself would likely have multiple options, good, bad, neutral.
This whole idea going out of control inspired me to draw the poor Player Character, which is the name I will be referring to them as, if I ever return to this idea. It was a fun experiment.
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daeyumi · 8 months
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Rainy days 🌊🪷💧
gonna start posting some older pieces here too~
i have a lot of backlog that i’ve posted on other social media but not here yet
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nmzuka · 27 days
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my humble offering
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mindie-arts · 1 year
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𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠! ☀️✨👑
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hoofpeet · 3 months
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I'd probably have to read the printed version and web version back to back at some point to note all the differences but... ough
#sorry i'm going to be excited about this comic for the next month#nofna#okay having finished this now--#and sorry if this doesn't make sense to anyone who's completely unfamiliar with this comic in advance-#the 'popcorn ending' (printed version) is nice to see but i think the web version hits harder. if that makes sense#so i'm kinda tied on which ending i 'prefer'- i think both are good though#also considering i've read the web version a good 4-5 times and the printed version only once- i probably can't make that judgement yet#easy answer- i do like Nutsedge :] so it's nice to see the ending where nothing bad happens to her#but also- NT suddenly becoming a greenie-esque villain out of nowhere felt a little jarring#as well as SV suddenly turning a corner and becoming a 'good guy' (arguable)- considering the first three books are about#/him being too stubborn to change or accept any outside worldviews . Him suddenly coming to his senses felt out of place#<- probably biased because i like characters being bitter to the end and ultimately destroyed by their own hubris#the web version is probably‚ objectively‚ a bit better#but -#(spoilers- if you're planning to drop ~70 bucks on getting these books)#the conceit of SV actually perfecting his style‚ using it once‚ and then immediately getting tooth-brained- was pretty cool#assuming it's meant to parallel him spending months tormented by trying to perfect it while something's still missing-#and then dying before he can narrate it to the audience‚ so that we never know what he figured out.#hard to articulate these thoughts but tl;dr- popcorn ending also had a lot to think about
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yukipri · 5 months
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Take a walk in the woods with me?🍂
~~
Copy-pasta-ing my last post-script bc I'm lazy:
Not to be a wannabe influencer, but I really wanted to let y'all know that Shovava, the creators of these gorgeous wing shawls, is having an insane 50% off sale rn. I adore these shawls so dang much, they're my signature clothing item, but they're usually pretty pricey! If you want a great deal on them, and support an indie artist, now's your chance!
This one's the Samsara shawl in cotton🍂
Use my referral code YUKIPRI86469 on the Shovava site for 20% off orders over $85! YES it's combinable with their sale!!!
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tomlinsonedits · 1 year
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ICELAND, 2022. Colorized Version © Charlie Lightening
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sysig · 3 months
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Gift (Patreon)
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red-moon-at-night · 11 months
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An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability
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Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.
I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.
Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives. 
So, without further ado... let’s get into this!
Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!
Disability: some brief (important) historical context
It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.
For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing. 
I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.
Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:
“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization  compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”
— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126
This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.
SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.
Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.
The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?
Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters
Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!
Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater. 
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The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.
Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.
What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:
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I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.
You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.
I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:
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Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone. 
This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.
Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):
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Anyways, onto the next point:
Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?
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So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.
I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.
The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and ��overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.
For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society. 
This is his means of escape from drowning.
However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:
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The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier. 
There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention. 
Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?
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Oh, right. 
Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.
That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:
The Necklace
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So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).
I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:
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Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.
But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.
There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.
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Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.
His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.
Speaking of that...
So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award
This fucking fish tank.
Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.
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From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.
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For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.
These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.
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Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.
They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.
For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...
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This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.
How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.
There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:
Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”
Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.
So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.
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I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?
(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)
So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:
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This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.
We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:
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I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...
He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.
Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?
That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.
One Last Observation
I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.
His clothing here:
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Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.
But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.
This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.
As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.
The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.
I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.
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queenlucythevaliant · 3 months
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I finished my first bookmaking project!
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questor-thews · 2 years
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some luigi and peach edits I made, taken from super mario adventures! feel free to use them for whatever
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dubbkin · 1 year
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💜💜💜
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