#i think i scared my flatmate

[ghost-in-the-corner]

I just finished the Magnus Archives for the first time, and I'm just gonna get my thoughts out

When I started the podcast back in June, I was beginning a solo art installation based on botanical studies. When I say beginning, I mean I had just received the funding for it.

I'm a photographer first and foremost, but I also dabble in painting and creative nonfiction. What I did for the exhibition was take photos of plants in a region that had never been studied from a floral perspective before. I also gathered water from local sources to paint the landscapes, and wrote small prose pieces to go along with it.

The areas I went to for this project were very deep within the mountains. So remote, in fact, that the only person I'd see for days on end was the botanist I was working with.

As I write, that exhibition is being taken down. The finished pieces are being placed into storage by my funder after being shown for the past 2 months. I only found out about its ending last night, as I now live in the UK.

I'm writing all this because of the strange coincidence that my exhibition was ended prematurely right as I finish the podcast that got me through it. It's emotional, thinking about how I listened to Angler Fish as I was beginning my preliminary sketches, but I just finished Last Words editing a photo for a completely different project.

The Magnus Archives is, frankly, a lot to chew on. A good bit of food, mind you, but a lot. As someone studying to work in film theory (yes, I do too much, no, I don't sleep, no, I will not stop) it's rare to find any piece of media that is so deeply complex, yet is far more original than most other things today.

I could go on about so many different parts of the podcast. The moral implications of the actions and beliefs of the Archivist. The utilization of experiential creativity to draft a powerful, distinct narrative. The use of the medium to utilize the audience's imagination and force them to project their own experiences onto this concept. The debate over who may have truly had a choice and who had everything determined for them. I'll probably write more about this stuff in the future, and I haven't even begun to think about all the goofy stuff I could say.

The ending of my exhibition itself was rather unsatisfying for a number of reasons. But the ending of the Magnus Archives was anything but. That podcast was a masterfully crafted, uniquely original, and deeply thought-provoking narrative. I, frankly, don't have many words at the moment, and I believe it would be a disservice to my experience of the podcast to try and force anything beyond this out.

So, yeah. The Magnus Archives was phenomenal. This is not the last rant you'll be hearing from me about it.

#if you actually read this just know i'm kissing you on the mouth rn #the second that last tape clicked off i started bawling my eyes out #i think i scared my flatmate #sorry sam #the magnus archives #the magnus protocol #magnus #tma #tma podcast #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #basira hussain #melanie king #georgie barker #elias bouchard #rusty quill #mag #mag 200 #film theory #philosophy #podcast #corner conversations

[hella1975]

born to write fanfiction forced to go to pilates

#WHAT IS HAPPENING. HOW DID I GET HERE #THIS IS NOT MY SCENE I SHOULD NOT BE HERE OR WHATEVER THE WOMBATS SAID #no hate to pilates itself im acc very pumped for it but the entire setting of a gym TERRIFIES me #but the uni is running a bunch of shit for women’s month and one of the events is this where they’ve booked the gym #and for 3 hours for free you can just go to different sessions #and me and my mate saw ‘free’ and didn’t look back like one thing I love about us is We Will Just Try Shit #and now im here in athleisure kit. no cargos in sight #I actually can’t remember the last time my outfit was so streamlined I feel naked rn #only plus is I’ve somehow got a decent fit like I had a real moment of secondary school PE class thinking I was gonna #be looking around feeling shitty and out of place for not having The Branded Shit but somehow I’ve acquired stuff #leggings from my old flatmate who IS a gym girlie meaning im twatting about in GYMSHARK LEGGINGS LIKE SOME SORT OF POSER #I feel like im going to dance classes again this is so. this entire thing feels on the edge of nostalgic and generally just WEIRD #I feel like the Cool Girls will be there I feel like they will know there is something Fundamentally Off about me and I’ll never know what #BUT OH WELL. DO IT SCARED #hella goes to uni

[mumintroll]

i think all of my flatmates knew i had a crush on the boy i have a crush on which means he defo knew becaause he was also my flatmate lol. kills self but undramatically

#i was at the pub w a couple of my flatmates from last year and we were talking abt him (he wasnt there) and one of them asked me #'were you into him last year' or something and i cldnt say antyhing i was so embarrassed. i thought i was okay at not being obvious abt it #:( #so he probably knows and the fact that he has never tried anything on me despite knowing i wld not say no makes me think there is no use in #my continuing plan to tell him earnestly how i feel about him but idk i still want to do it it will be cathartic even if it leads to nothin #but hes never freeeee im struggling so hard to organise a time to actually see him and then when i do i will definitely get too scared.

[toastsnaffler]

was abt to go out to the gym but the adhd referral service finally emailed me to say they need me to call them to book an appointment and it says in the email they don't make appts via email but I'm DEAF I Know they know that bc its on my fucking patient form UGHHHHH

#emailing back to ask if they can make an exception in these circumstances.. ive waited SEVEN MONTHS for them to contact me #im not falling at the first hurdle. #if that fails I'll have to rly nicely ask my flatmate to call them for me and I can sit there with her to pass on any information 🥹 #but health services fucking hate it when someone else makes a call on ur behalf so they might not allow that either #why are these systems so inaccessible #I cant even go anywhere in perspn bc its completely online smhsmh #its fine. its fine im going to.the climbing gym and theyll probably reply to me tomorrow im not going to cry thinking abt it #AHHHHHHHHHHH im rly glad they did get back to me.tho i got rly scared when i saw theyd indefinitely stopped accepting applications #even tho i submitted mine ages ago.. i was worried it would take over a year to get through the queue at this rate #i rly rly rly hope its not too painful a process i just want a diagnosis so i can try medication for this shit man #and i hope the med waiting time isnt as long as they say it is bc. another seven months. 🥹🥹🥹🥹 #uaaaaughh ok im out of here #.diaries

[duskholland]

we found a mouse in our flat + my coworker said he’s gonna dress up in a mouse costume and come to my house to try to scare it out of hiding. somehow i don’t think it’ll work

#he also thinks it’ll cure my fear of this mouse #also ? not going to work. lmao #what a legend #he’s actually a pro martial arts guy so maybe he would have luck Who Knows #all that i know is that i saw this fucking mouse at 5.30am before i went to work and it set me up for a BAD day #it’s kinda cute. but tiny and it keeps jump scaring me + my flatmate so i rlly want him to leave now thanks #h.txt #mouse

[afieldinengland]

.

#beginning to think— as always— that intimacy that doesn’t subjugate is impossible. i never want to feel certain ways again but at the end of #the day wouldn’t i have to? what if what happened to me was normal and i’ve been meditating on nothing. i don’t know #everything is about sex except sex which is about sex in a different secret way #i want to be respected. if we’re being primitive i want to be equally powerful. at what point do i stop acting like a victim #ah. well. it’s the undefinable again. what was it my flatmate said last night? i ‘defy categorisation’. which is very sweet but also close #to the bone in an unwitting sort of way. whatever #i don’t want to feel like a scared child ever again. i don’t want to be forced into things. you see when i say #it like that it sounds very rational but…. well. there’s a terror in the permeability of the body #rendering myself impermeable. always. only lonely #taking my younger self by the throat and throttling him i fear. you are not pamela the scenarios are chalk and cheese #now will you please get over yourself young man. well i’m trying

[darknessontheedgeoftowndyke]

I need to force people into watching blinded by the light with me again Bruce!Mutuals please watch it you won’t regret it

#I’m scared they won’t like it though and I will take it personally #like there’s so many movies I would never watch with my flatmate bc I feel like she would think it was silly #like Donnie Darko I mentioned to my flatmate and she refused to listen to what I had to say after realising Jake Gyllenhaal was in it #and I was like. I get it I really do but he is a fantastic actor #and it’s such a hilarious and iconic movie

[nerdie-faerie]

Just had a conversation with a cat

#ace is a mess #student living #one of my flatmates is keeping her cat in her room without halls knowing which hasnt been an issue yet #she leaves her window open he comes and goes as he pleases and apparently hes known around the halls #today. im making garlic bread and someone knocks on the kitchen window scaring the sht out of me #i thought theyd forgotten their key and just needed letting in so i go round and nope #theyre like we think we let jasper into the wrong flat by mistake! cus they thought he lived in their block #im like oh thats fine he lives in the next room over this is his flat #cus im assuming that if both rooms next to eachother keep their windows open he might go in the wrong one every now and again #but as im talking his jumps out and comes through the front door and theyre like 'oh its all good now 😊' meanwhile im like oh no #cus i dont know what im supposed to do? what if he goes upstairs to the wrong flat? how am i supposed to corrall him? #so i just like ran after him immediately dropping the door on the girls. i was planning on just trying to get him to go back outside #instead i let him into the flat because he was insistent tbf to him he did go straight to his flat #i knocked on the girls door and she didnt answer and he meowed at me! so i knocked again he meowed at me some more #then just walked away! but our stupid kitchen door doesnt close properly so i had to snap the door closed and tell him to come back #the flatmate would not answer and he kept meowing at me so im just stood in the corridor arguing with a cat #like i dont know shes not answering i dont know what you want me to do i i dont have the key i cant let you in i dont think shes in #he just meowing at me and im laughing cus why am i talking to this cat like he understands? like i dont know what to do i cant not respond #in the end i was like you gotta go back outside and just go through the window. go go through your window #he was very cooperative tbf i do appreciate that but i could not help his owner would not open up i didnt have shoes or keys #so i couldnt guide him through the window or whatever idk ive never had a cat and its not my cat so like i dont know #i just wanted to make garlic bread man

[specialagentlokitty]

Sherlock x reader - my type

Hello, how are you mate, could you do a fic where reader is a pretty young lady with lots of male admirers and Sherlock thinks she’s out of his league. But he didn’t knew she was actually into him. Thanks! - Anon💜

Walking into flat with you looked around for your older brother but you couldn’t find him anywhere, but you did find his flatmate.

“Hey Sherlock, have you seen my brother?”

Sherlock looked up from the laptop.

“John isn’t here?”

You smiled a little, shaking your head at him and you walked over to him, leaning over the back of Sherlocks chair, you looked at what he was doing.

Sherlock glanced at your arm next to him but he said nothing about it.

“Why are you looking for John?” He asked.

“He was supposed to come to the shopping centre with me.”

Sherlock nodded his head and carried on scrolling through whatever webpage he was looking through.

It was silent for a moment.

“Come with me.” You said.

“Why?”

You smiled a little and walked back around the chair, placing your hands on your hips as you looked at him.

“Because I want you to come, it’ll be fun!”

“I’m busy.”

“No you’re not don’t lie to me Sherlock Holmes. Come on! Do you really want to leave a lady walking around the city alone?”

Sherlock went back to looking at the laptop and you huffed a little.

“Please Sherlock? I don’t wanna go alone.”

Sherlock sighed, closing the laptop.

He stood up and grabbed his coat and you beamed brightly at him as your an down the stairs.

“Thank you Sherlock!”

He complained the whole way to the shopping centre, but he went wherever you went even if he didn’t want to.

You were in a store looking for new tops and jackets, and Sherlock stood looking around.

He noticed how a lot of men would stop and look at you and he furrowed his brows slightly.

Sherlock looked at you.

You didn’t even seem to pay the other men any attention, you simply went about your business shopping for what you wanted.

“Hey beautiful, wanna grab a drink later?”

You looked up at the unknown man and blinked.

“Not interested.”

You walked away, grabbing Sherlocks arm so he would follow you.

“This is why you didn’t want to come alone.” He said.

“Yeah, John usually scares them away.”

Sherlock nodded his head and looked at the red shirt you were looking at.

“That’s not your colour. Here.”

He reached out and handed you a light blue version of the top and you smiled slightly.

“Thanks.”

You happily went to pay for everything, and started wondering again.

Sherlock noticed more and more men trying to hit on you, some offering to get you lunch, pay for your things, take you out.

You declined them all, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt him slightly.

Sherlock wasn’t one for human emotions.

But you were beautiful, even he had to admit that. You seemed to have a sort of glow about you thay no matter where you were he could easily pick you out in a crowd.

You were absolutely stunning, he was sure if you wanted too you could’ve been a model.

And even though you declined the advances of other men it hurt him they had the courage to hit on you when he didn’t.

He didn’t know how.

But not just that, he was certain that there was no way you would date someone like him. He was sure of that.

He sighed softly, and glanced at you, seeing you stopping by a small bakery.

“Are you hungry?” He asked.

“A little. I just want to look.”

Sherlock nodded and gestured for you to go in, and he followed you, watching as you showed interest in different things.

“I’ll be out in a moment.”

“Okay!” You beamed.

Sherlock went back around and gathered a few of each thing you seemed to like or he knew you liked and brought them.

Walking outside, Sherlock held the bag out to you.

“Sherlock?”

“Well take it then, it’s for you.”

You took the bag and looked inside.

“Aw Sherlock you didn’t have to!”

“You wanted them and couldn’t make up your mind, so I got them all. Are we done shopping?”

You looked up at him and you smiled softly, nodding your head.

“Yeah, we can go home now.”

You got a cab back to the flat with him and happily skipped up the stairs, and you sat on the arm of his chair.

Sherlock walked over and sat next to you, and you held out the bag of baked goods.

He looked up.

“They’re yours.”

“And I want to share with you.”

“Thank you.”

Sherlock took one and you smiled, leaning against him and he couldn’t help the fact his heart skipped a beat a little.

“So, why did you turn down all of those men?”

You hummed a little.

“They’re not my type.”

“You have a type?”

You nodded.

“Oh yeah. Tall, brown messy hair, blue eyes, really smart but kinda oblivious to normal emotions, lives with my older brother and he buys me food from the bakery.”

You jumped up and beamed brightly at him, giving him a wink you grabbed your stuff and ran away while he sat there processing what you said

#bbc Sherlock #bbc sherlock x you #bbc sherlock x reader #bbc Sherlock imagine #Sherlock Holmes #sherlock holmes x reader #Sherlock Holmes x you #sherlock holmes imagine

[its-time-to-write]

Jamie tartt asking you to go on his brand trip (the one he asked Keeley on in the finale)

Thanks for being my first request! Hope ya like it <3

don’t make this any harder

It is almost the end of the football season, and all AFC Richmond can talk about are their plans once they get a break. You’re excited because it means you get more time with Jamie. You’ve been dating for about four months now, and it’s been weird. Good weird, not bad weird. Sometimes it’s just funny to you that Jamie took one look at you in that coffee shop and decided yep, that’s the one I’m going for. Honestly, you were a little surprised when someone had plunked a cinnamon latte on your small table, and even more surprised to look up and see that someone had some of the most gorgeous eyes you had ever seen. 

I’m Jamie, he had said. What’s your name?

And the rest is history.

This is the first time you feel like you are having fun in a relationship. Jamie has a way of getting you to loosen up and laugh for what feels like the first time in ages. After the first two weeks of dating, he starts to sneak into your flat through the window, so your flatmate won’t hear. A week after that, you go to your first Richmond game, wearing a number 9 with the name Tartt emblazoned across the back. 

Jamie has the idea early on to try to synchronize your lunch breaks, so you start having lunch together almost every day. It’s nice. 

It’s nice to want and to be wanted.

On paper, it looks like you see Jamie a lot, but you really don’t.

“Once football season’s over, we’ll have time, yeah?” he says.

You nod and count the days.

—

The season ends in three days, and you and Jamie are sitting on a bench while he eats whatever weird protein-based meal he has and you sip soup out of a thermos through a straw.

“I’m just saying it’s weird, babe,” Jamie says.

“Oh really, how is it any weirder than insisting on eating any kind of egg with a spoon?” you reply.

“Oi, I told you that in private!”

You both dissolve into laughter and once it fades, Jamie looks strangely pensive. You give him a gentle nudge on his shoulder. “Hey. What’s up?”

Jamie half turns to look at you with that pensive expression. “Eh, it’s nothin. Don’t worry about it.”

You raise your eyebrow at him and Jamie sighs. “Wish you wouldn’t do that, makes me feel insecure about me own lack of eyebrow control.” 

This makes you laugh again, but you’re not about to let him deflect that easily. You reach up with your thumbs to smooth his eyebrows. “C’mon Jamie, out with it. What’s on your mind?”

He’s still looking at you as he starts to speak, thinks better of it, then starts again.

“Babe,” he begins, taking your hand, “do you- I mean, you don’t have to, it’s super lame and like probably bad, so it won’t hurt my feelings if you say no- but do you want to come over for dinner on Saturday? I’ll like cook for ya and you don’t have to bring anything, but I thought it would be nice because now I actually have time to cook and I haven’t in ages, and like I said if you don’t want to, I get it, and-” he probably could have kept rambling on but you stop him.

“Jamie,” you smile, “I would love to! Why did that make you so nervous to ask?”

He shrugs. “I dunno, I guess- I mean, besides Keeley you’re kind of my first real relationship and I don’t want to fuck it up or scare you off.”

Oh. You let that process in your head for a moment as you squeeze his hand.

After a moment you say, “I’m not scared by your egg-eating habits and you’re not scared of my eyebrow muscles, so I think we’re going to be ok.”

Jamie pulls you close to him for a kiss, which is interrupted by an alarm on his phone. You both groan. Time to go back to work.

—

The rest of the week flies by and before you know it, you’re standing in front of Jamie’s door holding a bottle of wine. He said not to bring anything, but it gives you something to do with your hands and Richard has been begging you to let him explain wine for weeks now, so you figured you might as well. The weather is warm, so you’re wearing your favorite linen dress. It’s held together by a single wraparound tie on the side, easy to get on. And off. Odds are good that it will end up in a ball on Jamie’s floor before you have to go home.

You’ve barely knocked before the door swings open to reveal a smiling, nicely dressed Jamie.

“Hi,” you smile back.

He slips his arms around your waist and kisses you before saying, “C’mon in!” 

“You didn’t have to bring anythin,” he continues, holding open the door.

You shrug. “You know how Richard gets.”

Jamie huffs out a laugh and you follow him to the kitchen. You’re not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly was not this. This boy is making his own pizza and has set out the most impressive spread of toppings that you’ve ever seen. It looks and smells amazing.

“Jamie,” you say, still gaping at it all, “where on earth did you learn to do this?”

He looks up from rolling out a flat circle of dough, “Hm? Oh, eh I dunno. I like cooking and I like pizza, and you like pizza, and I’ve been making this recipe since like fuckin’ forever so I thought I’d just stick with an old classic. D’you mind stirring that?” He points to a pot on the stove with a wooden spoon poking out.

You literally have no words as you walk over and peer in.

“Jamie. Did you make this sauce?” you ask incredulously.

Jamie slaps his pizza dough with finality and leans up against the counter next to you, away from the flame.

“Uh yeah, I did,” he replies, scratching his neck. “Don’t overstir.”

You put down the spoon. “Jaim. How am I just now finding out about this. You’re pretty as hell, fantastic at football, and you cook?”

Jamie grins. “You think I’m pretty?”

You roll your eyes. “That’s what you got from this, you nerd?”

His hands have made their way to your waist again.

“Nice dress,” he says as he fiddles with the tie. “Got some good ideas for it later.”

You roll your eyes again, unable to suppress a grin. “Come here,” you say, pulling on his gold chain to get his lips at the right angle.

—

You’re halfway through dinner when Jamie has started to look pensive again. He denies it at first so you leave it, but after three more bites of your pizza he says, “Hey.”

You look up at him expectantly.

“I wasn’t, I mean I’m not- this wasn’t what I wanted to ask you,” he rushes out.

You tilt your head, still waiting.

“You know how we wanted to spend more time together this summer? Well, Nike have a branding thing for me in Brazil.”

You set down your slice and let out a soft “oh.”

“Yeah.” Jamie says. “So what d’you think?” Now he’s looking at you expectantly, and a little hesitant. You understand his nervousness now because you’re feeling it too. Four months is not a very long time to be together, and Brazil is a beautiful place with beautiful people. You can do a lot in Brazil.

You study your wine glass. “How long will you be gone?”

“Well, the shoot’s not that long, but I’ll probably be there a month. Nike’s paying for the whole thing, hotel, some of the meals, whatever. Flight’s next week. It’s mad.”

You nod. Jamie’s still looking at you.

Your mouth has gone dry. You’ll handle this with grace and at least you’ll go out on a good note with the best meal you’ve ever had. 

You’re still looking intently at the wine glass but you rip your eyes away and force yourself to look at Jamie.

“That’s great Jaim- Jamie. I’m happy for you. This is a big deal, and I’m sure you’ll love Brazil.”

Jamie’s face transforms into a look of relief as you speak.

“That’s great, yeah, I mean, I didn’t know what you’d think because obviously we talked about being together this summer and y’know, people say one thing but mean another, so I wasn’t sure, but that’s great!”

This boy and nervous rambling. He could give Ted a run for his money.

You force a smile, eyes on your plate now. You feel like all your energy has been drained from you in one fell swoop, while across from you Jamie is smiling like he won the lottery.

Is he really that excited to break things off with you?

He’s talking again so you do your best to focus on what he’s saying. 

“-And I was thinking we could go to this beach Keeley was telling me about and obviously we have to try all the food because granddad won’t be around to fuckin boss me around-”

What?

“Jamie,” you interrupt, “what?”

Jamie looks at you, confused. “What?”

“What are you talking about?”

Jamie looks at you like you’re mental. “I’m talkin’ about Brazil? The trip we’re goin’ on next week?”

Things are starting to click into place. You reach across the table and put your hand on top of his to steady yourself.

“You’re taking me on your brand deal?”

Now Jamie is really looking at you like you’ve gone mad. “That’s what I just asked ya. What are you on about?”

You stare at him for a moment then slowly say. “I thought you were breaking up with me so you could sleep with hot people in Brazil.”

Jamie stares back incredulously. “Why the fuck would you think that?”

You throw your hands in the air. “You were so nervous to talk to me! You said you were going to Brazil! That’s what people do! They get nervous to break up so they use some big trip to make it seem easier! And you’re you and you’re young, hot, and famous, so why would you be dragging me around with you?”

“You think I’m hot?”

You’re going to throttle him. “You know I think you’re hot, I’ve let you see me naked. Can we please stay on topic?”

Jamie chuckles at that.

“Look, I was nervous ‘cause you’re like, really fit. But it’s like, you’re also fit mentally? And I don’t get a lot of girls like that who also like me back. And Nike’s only paying for one room so… there’s that.”

He’s blushing a lot for someone who has been caught hopping out of your window at 3am.

Your head is in your hands now. Jamie gets up from his seat and pulls you up from your chair into his arms.

“Babe,” he says into your hair, “will you come to Brazil with me for a month while we fuck around like the hot couple that we are?”

You nod into his chest then lift your head to look at his face. He’s smiling at you. “I’m a dumbass,” you say.

His smile grows as he strokes your cheek.

“Yeah, but you’re my dumbass,” he says as he reaches for that tie on the side of your dress.

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[raina-at]

Sweet

The thing John secretly loves most about 221 Baker Street is that you never know what to expect when you open the front door.

Some days, it's toxic smells. Some days, it's gunshots. Sometimes it's silence, or the muted sound of the telly, or quiet conversation. Sometimes it's achingly beautiful violin music, sometimes it's screeching that sounds like someone's torturing a cat. Sometimes icy silence is punctuated by barbed insults in posh accents.

Today, as John opens the door, he's greeted by the sight of Mrs Hudson hugging Sherlock, and Sherlock letting it happen while trying and failing to look as if he minds the hug.

"What's all this, then?" John asks, amused.

Mrs Hudson releases Sherlock and turns to John to explain. "Oh, John, dear, Sherlock spent all morning helping me get rid of my old mattress. I ordered a new one, but the chap who delivered it wouldn't take my old one, even though I paid for disposal as well. That company is getting a strongly worded complaint!"

"And Sherlock helped you transport the mattress?`" John asks, raising a questioning eyebrow at his flatmate, who glares at him, murderous.

"Well, no, but he scared that delivery man into taking the mattress anyway. I think after Sherlock was through with him, he would have taken my entire sitting room set if I asked him to," Mrs Hudson says, beaming at Sherlock with a motherly sort of pride. "Come to think of it, I should have let him take the two boxes of old clothes and books I've wanted to throw out."

"A missed opportunity indeed," Sherlock says, obviously eager for the conversation to end. "Well, Mrs Hudson, glad to be of service, but I need to get back to work, killers to catch, crime to detect, and all that."

"Yes, of course, dear, but thank you again for helping me put the new mattress on the bed and flipping my bed frame to fit it better. I'm making scones and bringing some up for you later," Mrs Hudson says and pats Sherlock on the arm one last time before vanishing back into 221A.

John just looks at Sherlock, eyebrows raised.

"Shut up," Sherlock mutters, then turns around and walks up the stairs to their flat.

John follows. "That was very sweet of you."

Sherlock pulls the door to 221B open with unnecessary force. "I'm not sweet. I'm never sweet."

John holds up his hands in a defensive gesture as he walks into the kitchen to stick the kettle on. "Sorry for pointing out a nice thing you did for someone you clearly care about," John says, rolling his eyes as he gets the mugs out of the cupboard.

"I don't care about Mrs Hudson," Sherlock says, flinging himself onto the sofa, apparently preparing for a magnificent sulk. "I indulge her because it means she keeps the rent low and supplies us with biscuits."

John sighs and flicks the kettle on. "Yes, yes, I know, caring isn't an advantage, love is for the weak, et cetera...," he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face in a nameless, formless frustration.

"This bothers you," Sherlock says, suddenly behind John in the kitchen, watching him with the intense scrutiny usually reserved for especially interesting corpses. "Why?"

Because the things you do and the things you say are in constant conflict, and it's doing my head in, John thinks. Because you push me away and pull me in and push me away and pull me in again, and I feel like a fish you drag out of the ocean just to fling back again when you discover it wasn't what you wanted after all. Because I think you care about me, but you hate yourself for it, and that makes me feel like shit sometimes.

John finally settles on an answer that is both true and a bit less gut-wrenchingly revealing. "I don't understand why you can't admit that you're not a complete arsehole."

Sherlock narrows his eyes at John, in full deduction mode now. "Because I am a complete arsehole, and you're just unable to accept this about me, because you've turned me into the cause you fight for, and you need me to conform to some idiotic standard of behaviour so you can justify all the things you do for me. And frankly, I refuse to alter my behaviour to better fit your expectations of me. That sounds like a you problem."

John feels a bit like Sherlock punched him in the gut. Like he reached into John's chest and squeezed the air out of his lungs. Because he's right, of course. And wrong. John needs Sherlock to be a halfway decent person because they’ve entwined their lives to a point of frankly unhealthy codependency, yes, but he also needs to know whether Sherlock does have a heart somewhere because he's hopelessly, bottomlessly, headlessly in love with him and if Sherlock really is a sociopath who's just using John for kicks, John's entire sense of self will collapse. "Does it occur to you,” John says, hating the way his voice sounds, hoarse and unsteady with emotion, “that the people who have the misfortune of loving you might occasionally want to know that you at least care whether they live or die?”

Sherlock scoffs. “Nobody loves me,” he says, the disdain clear in his voice. 

“Well, I do,” John bites out between clenched teeth, before his brain catches up with his mouth. Oh, shit. Great, Watson, now you’ve said the quiet part out loud.

Sherlock looks gobsmacked, and John feels a brief burst of satisfaction that he shut up Mr Punchline for once, but then he realises that he is in no way prepared for Sherlock’s reaction - kind rejection if he’s lucky, outright scorn if he’s not - and decides he needs some air. “I’m going for a walk.”

“John-” Sherlock starts, but John holds up his hand. 

“Don’t wait up.”

*-*

John doesn’t know how much time has passed, how long he’s been sitting on this bench, watching the ducks paddle by. He only knows by the time Sherlock sits down next to him, he’s very cold and it’s nearly dark.

Sherlock hands John his jacket, and John wishes he was petty enough to tell Sherlock to go fuck himself. But Sherlock didn’t actually do anything, except failing to conform to John’s wishes, and it’s not his fault that John is so in love with him he can’t see straight anymore. 

“Thank you,” he says, taking the jacket.

Sherlock doesn’t answer. He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, and looks out over the water. Silence descends, it’s not their usual comfortable, companionable quiet, it’s a silence of many words unsaid. But John has a feeling that Sherlock is working up the courage to say something, and he knows the best way to get Sherlock to clam up is to prod, so he stays silent and decides to wait Sherlock out. He came after John, after all, so it’s reasonable to assume he has something to say.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Sherlock finally says, still looking out over the water.

John waits a moment, but when it’s clear Sherlock doesn’t intend to continue, John asks, “Do what?”

Sherlock makes a frustrated gesture between the two of them. “This. Any of this.” He exhales loudly, another obvious sign of his frustration. “I-”

“It’s okay, Sherlock,” John says, deciding to let Sherlock off the hook. Apparently, he’s getting the nice rejection speech, but he doesn’t want to hear even that. “You don’t have to say anything. I get it. Married to your work and all that.”

Sherlock makes a frustrated sound, a bit like a growl. He gets up and starts to pace in front of the bench. “I don’t do this, John. I don’t care about people. I don’t care if I hurt their feelings, I don’t care if they leave.”

“Yes, fine, I get it, no need to rub it in,” John mutters, halfway to angry again. 

“That’s just the point, John,” Sherlock yells,  “You don’t get it! I’ve never had this problem before, and then you walked in with your interesting limp and your ugly jumpers and your perfect tea, with your way of looking at me like I’m brilliant, and now I’m running after my stupid flatmate because he told me he loved me and then ran out before I could say it back!”

“I- What?” John looks at Sherlock, completely stunned. He can’t have heard that right. “You-”

Sherlock sighs and comes to a halt before John, looking down at him with a serious, almost somber expression. “It’s come to my attention lately that I would be absolutely destroyed if anything happened to you,” he says quietly, and John doesn’t have to be a mind reader to know that Sherlock is talking about the pool. “And after a lot of contemplation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I love you. But as I expressed before, I don’t know how to do this. My experience with romantic relationships isn’t extensive, and has led me to think they’re overrated. But since you have so far proven the exception to every rule I’ve ever established in my life, I think it would be a scientifically sound decision to at least try out whether we’re compatible in this area, since we seem to be so well suited for each other in every other way.”

John blinks, too surprised to completely grasp what exactly Sherlock is saying. “I have no idea what you just said, but I think it was good?”

Sherlock’s lips curl into a small amused smile John has never seen him giving anyone else. He holds out a hand, and John lets himself be pulled to his feet. “I said, I love you, want to snog?”

“Oh,” John says, feeling his lips stretch into an answering smile, the first stirrings of happiness tingling through his body, “Well, since you asked so nicely…” 

He pulls Sherlock in at the same time as he leans down, and they meet in the middle for a sweet, lingering kiss. 

“Successful experiment, I’d say,” John mutters, grinning like an idiot now and not caring one bit.

“We need more data,” Sherlock says, winding his arms around John.

“Definitely,” John answers and leans in for another kiss. 

Thanks for the prompt and the tag @calaisreno. Just getting this done before collapsing into bed after a looooong day, so sorry if there's any horrid mistakes.

Tagging a few people: @keirgreeneyes @jrow @meetinginsamarra @thetimemoves @lisbeth-kk @khorazir @shiplocks-of-love @helloliriels @fluffbyday-smutbynight @topsyturvy-turtely and anyone else who wants to play.

#johnlock #bbc sherlock #my fic #may 2023 prompts #Sweet

[hella1975]

https://us.loopearplugs.com/

I mean this genuinely bc they help me tremendously, I use the experience ones and they drowned out enough to not destroy what little auditory processing I have left 💛💛

thank you! ive had a few people suggest me things like this. unfortunately i have a real Thing about having ear plugs in even if they dont completely block sound i just get very paranoid and convinced someone is yelling at me/approaching me and im unaware of it, so i think this would ultimately help my sensory issues but worsen my stress levels lol. i am so normal btw there are no things wrong with me

#it's only recently that ive been listening to music outside of my room and my one flatmate ALWAYS sneaks up on me #like she never does it on purpose but when she calls out to me in the kitchen and i dont hear her #instead of making me aware of her she tends to just let it drag on until she's very close and i notice her myself #and the weird thing is it doesn't scare me past that initial shock response but it makes me soooo weirdly uncomfortable #but yeah it's a fun little thing <3 i THINK i know why i do it but idk really #thank you anyway! #ask

[mumintroll]

i dont want to go home bc i hate it there and i dont want to stay here bc i dont really like it here either i just want to like not exist very much. but not in a suicidal way i just want everything to stop for a while idk. but i also dont want it to start again after it stops. but again not suicidal. i also dont want to do my laundry

#i like it here its a nice place much nicer than where i used to live but im just scared im going to have no friends again bc i dont feel #like im going to make any. even though i really like my flatmates i just dont think that affection is returned :( #i should give it longer than a week i could suddenly make the best friends in the world but i just find that hard to imagine

[toastsnaffler]

man i wish cinemas would do more subtitled screenings instead of just like. once per month early on a weekday and only for their most popular films lmao.

#trying to find a subtitled screening of atsv in my city bc its pointless rewatching without them tbh #there are 4 cinemas showing it like 10 times a day and still only ONE cced screening in the whole city in the next fortnight 😑 #like come on man. #i still think that all film screenings should be subtitled by default. theres literally no solid argument against it #sorry if ur scared a 1 inch line of words might somehow ruin the artistic value of a film for u but accessibility should come first. #they can have 1 non-subtitled screening a week for ppl who are gonna kick their heels and cry abt it #the thing is if it was the default no one would have a problem with it bc theyd get used to things being subtitled!! #ive brought this up before w ppl and let me tell u its actually WILD how many ppl will argue that ccing things is Bad #the balls u have to openly take a stance against subtitled films in a conversation with a literal deaf person. do u even hear yourself #frustrating doesnt even begin to cover it tbh #anyway whatever. at least there IS a cced screening at all thats smth!! #and at least it saves me having to go with flatmates lol i think ill enjoy it more alone #.diaries #anyway i should get dressed and at least try to leave the house for 10 mins today. illness and all

[3terna15unshin3]

Would you ever consider writing about Matty & Este finding out their pregnant/having a baby?? Would love to read it if you’d be up for writing it!

hiiii thank u for the request, this will just be a rambly run on idea type of blurb!! fun fact - at the beginning of all this i had my heart set on them not having a baby bc este is me and i have never ever wanted kids and honestly don’t even like them very much (lol) … but it’s clearly something important to matty irl so after getting some requests (and also loving like the domestic and fluffy and sensitive ideas that it would bring on) i have reconsidered to satisfy the people🫡🫡🫡

so many authors on here write dad matty very well tho and much better than i ever could, like @yourtouchismidas’s Ruins universe / @toomuchracket's flatmate!matty dad and d word blurbs / @ughgoaway’s teacher au 💌💌💌 and so many more!!!!! i also have a pregnancy scare blurb here if u want to read that too! i hope u enjoy 🌟

tbsg masterlist // more blurbs

it happens after they get married and i think it wouldn’t necessarily be an accident, like este would pose the idea of her going off her contraceptive pill instead of switching to a different one (after her hormones start to have a bit of a hay day) and matty's up for it too. when they find out they’re over the moon. este expects to be scared or full of anxiety but it feels so right that they cry and smile and hold each other all day. it’s such a sacred moment/feeling so they decide to keep the news to themselves for the first couple of months. 

everyone in their life gets suspicious that este stops ordering cocktails at dinner and is always weirdly out of breath after doing anything barely physical but nobody is concerned enough to confront them about it. she wears baggy clothes (like matty's slouchiest band tees) while out and her bump starts to grow, but at home she doesn't bother covering up. a typical 'around the house' outfit of hers is a bralette top and her favorite jeans just with the zipper down and button wide open, tummy fully on display while typing away at a review on her laptop or snuggling up to keiko on the sofa. matty likes it, since he thinks she looks sexy and a certain energy seems to be radiating off of her that he can't seem to break his attention from. este's always catching him steal glances at the bump when he thinks she isn't looking. he sets his hand on it every night and rubs his thumb back and forth at a steady rhythm while talking about whether the baby will have his curly hair or her tan skin or his musical talent or her passion for literature. all of the above, hopefully.

she’s incredibly run down at the start so she spends lots of time in bed, which she hates. she wants nothing more than to go out to the cafe down the street, that they love, and sip on a matcha while he downs a cappuccino, and they share a warm pastry; but the baby makes her unable bear the taste of green tea and the noise of the espresso machine would probably start to drive her crazy. her attention span is suddenly split in half and she gets migraines ferquently so she's trudging behind on the list of books she needs to read.

it's tough, but matty's there to help. he appreciates that she's in bed so often because she has a habit of working herself too hard anyway. because his recent album cycle is over with, he can care for her and brush her hair and learn the order of her skincare routine so he can apply it for her when she’s too tired to do it herself. sometimes matty can tell the sickness is extra bad and that este's just downplaying her pain for the sake of not bothering him so he scolds her and treats her like a princess until she can't help but smile in pure adoration. people begin to notice that she isn’t spotted much in public at all and maybe even breakup rumors swirl around the internet.

the months they spend with their little secret are so precious, but they begin telling family when the baby grows to big to hide. it’s the best news of the year. everyone close to them finding out makes it feel so real. they receive little baby grows as gifts from cate and georgia, este’s dad helps them fix up a nursery in the spare room, and denise begins buying them diapers way too early. matty and este once discuss how lucky they are that their little one will be surrounded by such a village of love and they deliriously sob together at the thought of it. 

i think they’d announce it to the public by posting a cute candid taken by charli or george. it’s from the rare time este feels well enough to go out on a little doggy play date/walk through the park so the four of them do that. the pic shows matty and este sitting cross-legged on the grass with keiko in matty’s lap, her tongue sticking out (like it always does when she’s excited). este’s bump pokes out of the bottom of her jumper and they’re both mid-laugh and looking at each other with squinty eyes. the caption is something cute and casual like ‘healy x 4’ or ‘spot the newest healy’ and fans go absolutely insane. there are plenty of news outlets that use their pregnancy as headlines too but neither of them read any of the many articles written because they couldn’t care less of what journalists had to say.

in my heart matty is a girldad, so when it’s time to find out the sex, the doctor shares it with them right away. the two of them think gender reveals are stupid so they don’t have one. they begin building a little personality for her, like when este would eat something that she usually loves but now makes her sick, matty jokes and says "of course she isn’t a mushroom type of girl. i could’ve guessed that from a mile away," and este rolls her eyes. he’d call out phrases like "my girls! i’m home!" when coming back through the front door after a trip to the shops and este would pull the "you’re really outnumbered now, you know… 3-1…" card whenever they disagree about something. 

they also accumulate tons of storybooks that they like to take turns reading to the bump before bed every night. because they're so pretentious they go for classics like the velveteen rabbit and corduroy and anything by shel silverstein. matty always chooses the longest ones so that he can spend as much time as possible talking to her. he brings his lips all close to make sure the baby can hear him and sometimes does silly voices. when they make este giggle, her tummy vibrates with laughter and sometimes they’ll feel her kick or shift and it’s something they look forward to every day.

throughout the whole pregnancy, every couple of weeks, matty would snap a picture of the two of them (or three, i guess) standing in the full length mirror in their bedroom. they both stand profile to show off este’s growing belly, her in front, matty’s chest pressed against her back. they hold hands and she rests her empty one on her stomach, while he uses his to take the photo with a fancy point and shoot camera. the roll of film he shoots on is full of pictures and he only takes it to get developed after the final one is taken. the last of the roll shows este, now a couple weeks postpartum, with matty still holding her from behind, but this time she cradles baby dorothy in her arms instead of her pregnant belly. 

it becomes their favourite picture ever taken, so even though they’d agree to keep her identity private and barely share anything the first few months, matty and este excitedly post it on social media to at least share that she was born and what her name is. it’s a carousel with the newest picture as the cover and as you swipe you can see a couple of the previous mirror pics where her bump gets bigger and bigger over time. his caption would either be cute like ‘our baby dodes was born on the 25th of jan x’ or ‘my favourite girls in the world (este.manansala and our little dorothy)’ or something really stupid like ‘became a friend to dorothy on the 25th of january (is this a coming out post or is my daughter is named dorothy ?? guess x)’ … get it??? bc ‘friend of dorothy’ means gay man lmfao i feel like matty would be annoying like that.

dorothy florence manansala healy is her full name. it’s a mouthful but they’d love that about it and it’s also a filipino tradition to make the mother’s maiden name a second middle name for the child, so that’s where that comes from. they went through hoards of them before settling on one combination. dorothy florence comes from a hodge podge of meanings like the D initial for denise, matty's early memories of the wizard of oz, their beloved florencia, and just the fact that they found them both on baby name lists and thought they were the prettiest. they call her dodie and dodes and dodiebaby and dot and dotty and doddle and even flossie sometimes (they hope that once she’s a bit older she can pick the nickname she likes the best, so they can just call her that, instead of having to choose between them all).

and frankly, they’re completely obsessed with her. she has big brown eyes and a full head of hair and chubby rosy cheeks. matty loves that she has este’s nose and long lashes and este loves that she has his curls and pointy chin. her eyes light up whenever her mum or dad is in her view and she learns to smile whenever they call her name (or any different iteration of it). 'song for our daughter' by laura marling comes on shuffle once in a while and it makes them weep now that they have one.

being new parents takes them on a million rollercoasters of emotions all at once but they make it through the tough times together. of course their families and the guys help out a bunch, especially hann and carly who then get baby fever and maybe consider having another to give baby hann a sibling and dodie another cousin. i think matty and este would be really great though, gentle most of the time but firm when needed and they work really well as a team. matty def would not be one of those dads who slacks off or thinks it’s babysitting to watch his own kid (ofc, bc ew), like he’d be so helpful and loving and thoughtful about caring for este and any struggles she may have postpartum just as much as caring for the baby. 

they try to split things as evenly as possible and all the love flows so freely and carelessly between the three of them, although i do imagine when dot is a toddler that she’s a bit of a daddy’s girl lol. maybe that’s just me being up matty’s ass but i could just imagine her always wrapping her arms around his leg when they stand together or being really excited to go pick out a birthday gift for him with este or being mesmerized by his singing voice and stuff like that. 

baby dorothy quickly becomes their best friend. she’s everything they could’ve ever dreamed of. 

anyway that’s all i could muster up for now, if you’re wanting more baby manansala-healy blurbs, i’d be open to write them, but i don’t really have anything specific in mind so i probably only will if i get some ideas in my ask box :)))) feel free to send some if you have any!!!

ok bye love u

#tbsg #meste blurb #matty healy #the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy x oc #matty healy fic #matty healy blurb #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fluff #fanfiction #fluff

[bookshelfmonkey]

Thanks for the tag @storkmuffin :)

Are you named after anyone? Not my first name, which I just chose because I liked it, but one of my middle names is Bowie (as in David Bowie).

When was the last time you cried? A couple of weeks ago, when I was feeling completely overwhelmed by the state of trans rights globally and especially in the UK (where I live) and the ongoing tragedies happening as a result. (Sidenote: it's weird to me how little I've cried since starting T, I used to cry multiple times a week and now it's every few months)

Do you have kids? No.

What sports do you play/have you played? I swam for about 6-8 years as a kid but always kinda hated it, and eventually quit when the dysphoria became too much. I did football and badminton on and off too, but was never really good at anything (asthma & possible dyspraxia & hypermobility etc.). Now I'm trying to run and work out mostly just to stay healthy. I'd like to get back into swimming but can't really afford to go to a pool regularly and I'm scared to go by myself. I also go to a lgbtq+ football club weekly when I'm in my hometown (my friend started an under-18s one which I used to do too and it was pretty much my only positive experience of sports).

Do you use sarcasm? Rarely, and only with close friends where we mutually joke like that with each other.

What's the first thing you notice about people? I actually don't know. I think most of the time I'm too caught up in the anxiety of meeting someone new that I'm more focussed on myself.

What's your eye colour? Bluey grey.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I'll watch some scary movies but sometimes they just make me too anxious to enjoy them.

Any talents? I can read pretty quickly with good comprehension (I like to take my time when reading for fun, but as an english lit student who always has a fuck ton of essays and shit to read, it's handy), I can bake really good gingerbread, and I'm weirdly good at immitating people's walks (the same way some people can do voice impressions).

Where were you born? A small city in south west england (not saying more than that for safety/privacy).

What are your hobbies? I read (a lot); I write fiction, poetry, book reviews & TV show reviews (see pinned post on where to find some of these); I embroider and sew; I enjoy baking and cooking but don't do it much atm because I don't like my flatmates so I spend as little time as possible in our kitchen where I might see them; I like going for walks but it can be difficult to get out into nature without a car (ironically) and sometimes I just solve number puzzles/do maths for fun.

Do you have any pets? Yes, this idiot (affectionate). Technically she lives with my parents, but still. Her name's Pepper and she's a generic black cat (it's hard to work out breeds of cats and she's an adopted former stray so there's no breeding history or whatever).

How tall are you? 1.72m

Favourite subject in school? It alternated between english literature and maths.

Dream job? Author/forest wizard/please don't make me enter the workforce (I'm a uni student atm)/I don't know what I want to do with my life.

@yourlocalcorvidcryptid @autisticfordprefect @feral-enfield-with-wifi sorry if any of y'all have already done this and I missed it.

#my posts #my life #tag game