#i still have other worries that are more. Irrational in nature but . hopefully everything goes smoothly. anyways
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intelligence & issues (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- chapter eighteen
Helloooo I almost posted this yesterday as a thank you gift and then I totally got caught up in schoolwork. Gotta love finals season am I right
Anywho, thank y’all so much for 1.7k followers <3 Here’s a long ass chapter that’s a good ol’ mix of fluff and angst xx.
Chapter Warnings: waking-up-together kinda fluff, no sexytimes but there are some ~suggestive~ comments of course, ANGST at the end (i’m so sorry), the end of this case is very near on the horizon
Previous chapter || Fic Masterlist
Aaron wakes you when his first alarm goes off at 5a.m. It’s way too fucking early in your opinion, but you know he wants you to have time to go back to Emily and JJ’s room to get ready for the day.
Still, being woken by a kiss on your forehead is something you can see yourself getting used to. Not to mention using his chest as a pillow all night.
You tilt your head to capture his lips in a sweet kiss, not caring that the both of you probably have disgusting morning breath right now.
He pulls away first, nudging your nose with his before he rests his forehead on yours, looking deep into your eyes. “Good morning, sweet girl.”
You can’t help the smile that splits your lips. “Good morning.” You close your eyes in your flustered state, burying your face down into his chest. “I don’t want to leave.”
“I want you to stay,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “But we’ve got a job to do.”
“I know,” you sigh, opening your eyes to bring yourself back to reality. Then, you hook your arms around his neck, starting to grin. “Same thing tonight?”
He smirks, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Depends on how much of a good girl you are today.”
“Ooh, a challenge,” you tease. “I dunno…I’m feeling pretty bratty this morning.”
You feel his arm tighten around your shoulders, drawing you closer to him in warning.
“I’m just teasing,” you murmur, propping your chin on his chest, giving him your best eyes.
But he isn’t fazed. “I know. I’m keeping track.”
So, naturally, you pout. “Fine.”
“Strike two.”
“I have a feeling this isn’t like baseball. Three strikes and I’m out?”
“Are you trying to find out?”
“Mm, maybe?” You grin, but, as always, the FBI Agent part of your brain comes back to life. “If we didn’t have to be downstairs soon, I’d say yes. But I probably should go get dressed.”
“Understood,” Aaron replies, a small grin on his lips too. “I suppose even as your boss, I can’t keep you here.”
“As my boss, we’re technically not even supposed to be in the same bed together,” you remind him with a snort, but seriousness comes over him. “What?”
“We still need to talk,” he says quietly. “Really talk about this, but right now I just want you to know...I don’t regret this. I want this. No matter the consequences.”
“Me too,” you whisper, fingernails gently scratching the base of his skull, your weak attempt at comfort. “Do you think there’ll be consequences?”
He sighs, and you rise and fall with his chest. “I don’t know.” He pauses. “If Strauss finds out somehow, maybe. I don’t know if keeping it from her until she inevitably finds out is better than telling her ourselves, but…”
“We’ll figure it out,” you assure him with a small smile. “But you wanna do this?”
Instead of answering you verbally, he pulls you closer for a soothing kiss, coaxing all your worries away.
“I want to do this,” he says, knowing you need to hear the words from his voice.
“Okay,” you murmur, taking a deep breath. “What do we do about the team?”
His eyebrows furrow. “What about them?”
You give him a tired look. “Come on. They know.”
“What?” He blurts, sitting up a little, taking you with him. “Rossi knows.”
“And Emily and JJ and Garcia,” you chuckle. “I didn’t even tell them. Emily saw us at dinner one night. JJ figured it out from the phone call a few days ago. Garcia just...knows.”
“What about Morgan and Reid?”
“Are you kidding me? Morgan knows. Have you seen how he irritates the shit out of me every day?”
“Exactly,” Aaron says. “He does it every day.”
“Have you noticed how he’s been doing it especially when you’re around?” You raise an eyebrow. “Come on, you’re our supervisor! I thought you were a better profiler than that!”
“We have a rule not to profile each other,” he says sternly, obviously a little butthurt that he didn’t see that everyone else knew.
“A rule that none of us stick to, by the way,” you laugh. “We just don’t voice it. But we do. Trust me.”
“I didn’t think you’d figured that out yet,” he admits.
“Eh,” you shrug. “It wasn’t hard. I caught myself profiling everyone. I figured I couldn’t be the only one who does it by accident.”
Aaron only smiles. He’s amazed by you every single day. Sometimes he wonders if you even know how intelligent you are. If you even know the full scope of your mind. Maybe you don’t, maybe no one does.
“But anyway,” you swerve back on track. “I feel like it should be unspoken, but just...no PDA, you know? It’s fine that they know because honestly I think they knew before we knew, but let’s not make it a big deal.”
“Agreed,” he nods. “We still need to be professional.”
“Exactly,” you breathe, glad to be on the same page.
His second alarm goes off, the one for 5:30, and you groan, dropping your forehead to his chest.
“Why does it have to be so early?” You mutter, your lips brushing against his skin as you speak. It sends a hot wave through him, one that causes him to promptly shift your body off of him. “What are you doing?”
“You need to go get dressed,” he says. “And if you stay here wrapped around me any longer, I won’t be able to let you leave.”
You grin. “Point taken.”
You roll off the mattress, fully aware that he’s looking at your ass, and at your entire body, marveling at the way you look in his shirt.
“Oh,” you say, doing a dramatic turn, watching his eyes very quickly move back to your face. “Do you have any boxers? I probably shouldn’t walk down the hall in just a shirt.”
He’s scrambling for a pair of his boxer briefs, the thought of anyone else seeing you just like this making his blood boil frighteningly fast.
“Thanks,” you smirk when he hands them to you. And you put them on in front of him, partly for a show and partly because the look he was giving you demanded it. “I’ll see you in an hour or so?”
He nods. “Try not to spend too much time gossiping.”
“Oh, please,” you shake your head. “They’re getting all the details.”
You’re out the door before he can even catch you, and you just know you’re going to get it later.
+++
Emily and JJ are on you as soon as you open the door, both of them dressed and ready, arms folded over their chests like Moms whose daughter stayed out too late last night.
In a way, that’s completely accurate.
“And where have you been?” JJ asks, fully entering her Mom persona.
“Uhm, a friend’s house?” You play along, trying to inch your way to the bathroom.
But Emily knows your move, and stands in front of the bathroom door. “Is this friend named Aaron?”
“...maybe.”
And the façade falls, because they both cheer, pulling you into a hug.
“Finally!” Emily screams.
“Finally, what?” You laugh. “The night before I was also in his room.”
“Oh, we know,” JJ assures you.
“Finally, you admit it,” Emily clarifies. “So...details?”
“So...we have to be downstairs soon and I need to get dressed,” you walk past them to your bag. After grabbing your clothes, you turn back around to find them still staring at you. “What?”
“You’re in his shirt,” JJ says, still smiling.
“And boxers,” you laugh, pulling the hem of his t-shirt up a little. “Guys, don’t make this a big thing.” You pause, heading toward the bathroom. “He was a little upset that I knew everyone knew, and he didn’t.”
“How did he not?” Emily scoffs. “He can be so dense.”
You shake your head, shutting the bathroom door to get dressed.
When you emerge from the bathroom, now dressed and looking more presentable, Emily and JJ are finally getting ready, too. They still watch you like a pair of hawks stalking prey, though. You just hope they won’t make any comments later.
That’s wishful thinking and you know it. But hopefully the comments will be held in at least until you’re all on the jet, heading back to Virginia.
+++
When you walk out of the elevator with Emily and JJ, you find Hotch standing with Rossi, the former looking much more grave than you left him. And he’s on the phone.
“Shit,” you mutter under your breath, picking up the pace. You glance at Hotch, silently asking, and he nods. “There’s another body,” you fill in Emily and JJ, ignoring the strange look that Rossi gives you.
Once Hotch hangs up, he looks immediately at you. “There’s two bodies. Male and female.”
“What?” Emily blurts. “In the same location?”
He nods. “Same house.”
About this time, Morgan and Reid step out of the elevator, jogging over when they see the team’s faces.
“What’s going on?” Morgan asks.
“Two bodies this time, same house, male and female,” you explain briefly.
Hotch jumps in. “JJ: you, Reid, and Y/N head over to the precinct and get Garcia on the phone. Get her to find everything she can on these new victims.”
You nod, glad he’s not sending you to see anymore bloodied bodies. Just the thought has a chill running down your spine.
You don’t want to admit it, but it’s hard not to picture Trevor’s face. It’s hard not to feel the thrill of the possibility of revenge. But you know that’s only the irrational part of your brain. You know you wouldn’t really act on those thoughts.
But they’re still there.
+++
Back at the precinct, you’re dialing Garcia and stirring a cup of shitty coffee. When she picks up, she sounds about as frizzed as you feel.
“Good morning, my angel sent from Heaven,” she sings, sounding far too bright for seven in the morning. “What can I do you for?”
“Good morning,” you chuckle. “We’ve got two new victims.”
“Mm, I know,” she groans, and you begin to hear typing. “Morgan texted me their names, I was waiting for your call.”
“Yep, we just need you to work your magic, that’s all.”
“That I can do,” she replies, no doubt through a smile. “Speaking of magic…”
You already know where this is heading. “Seriously? Who told you?”
“JJ and Emily texted me,” Garcia admits. “But you know I was going to weasel it out of you eventually, anyway!”
“Yes, I know,” you roll your eyes, tossing the coffee stirrer and empty cream and sugar packets in the trash. “Listen, how about this: Once this case is over, we’ll all have a girl’s night at my place with a bunch of junk food and wine, and I’ll give all the details -- whatever they might be at that point.”
You can’t let yourself believe that you’ll still be together because who knows what could happen. Anything could happen. The universe has a bad habit of getting in the way of your love life.
“You know the way to my heart,” Garcia sighs dreamily. “It’s a date. Speaking of dates, it looks like our two victims were married.”
“Married?” You nearly yell. Talk about a plot twist. “And the guy brought our unsub home for a one-night stand?”
“Looks that way so far,” Garcia says with a grimace. “Caroline Merritt, 35, was the CEO of her own company and traveled a lot. It looks like she changed flights yesterday and landed around eleven p.m. She checked her car out of the airport parking lot at eleven forty-five.”
“Great, so she might’ve walked in on our unsub.” You rub your forehead from the stress. “What about the other victim?”
“Jasper Rhodes was 34 and a part-time worker at the local Walmart,” Garcia lists off. “They had been married for three years, but Caroline never changed her last name.”
“Don’t exactly blame her,” you remark. “Alright, which one had allegations?”
“I’m about to burst your bubble, babycakes. Neither of them.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Garcia echoes, just as solemn. “Caroline has a squeaky clean record, aside from one speeding ticket when she was seventeen for going forty-five in a school zone. Jasper also has a clean slate for a record, but he does have one DUI from when he was twenty-two. Nothing else since.”
“It’s been twelve years, so for all we know, he could be sober for a decade now,” you mutter. “Okay. Do they have any connection at all to our other victims? Please say yes.”
“Cross referencing as we speak,” Garcia says, typing furiously. “Almost done… Negative,” she sighs. “I’m sorry, babe.”
“Don’t be sorry,” you shake your head. “Thank you for being such a wizard, as always.”
“It’s my specialty,” she quips. “So...do I get some details about you and Hotch now?”
“Goodbye Garcia…” You chuckle, ending the call before she can ask anything else.
You walk back into the conference room, shaking your head sadly at JJ who looks up with hopeful eyes.
“Garcia found virtually nothing. Caroline got a speeding ticket at seventeen, and Jasper a DUI at twenty-two. Nothing since. And no connection to any of our other victims,” you relay the information, ending it with a sip of your coffee.
“This unsub is good,” JJ says, exasperated. “How is she always three steps ahead of us?”
“She’s not, really,” Reid says, and you can feel something else coming on. “It’s like she knows we’re closing in on her, so she’s going after those who have no reported allegations. She’s not as far ahead as we think, but maybe that’s what she wants us to think.”
“Reid, dude, you’re sounding like a fortune cookie right now,” you laugh. “I get where you’re going with this. But unless they find some DNA at the crime scene, we’re back to square one again.”
“Maybe…” He trails away, getting up to look at the map.
Something is going on in his head, but you’re not sure what. He’ll tell you when he’s finished with it, you’re sure.
In your pocket, your phone starts buzzing. Thinking it’s Garcia, you pull it out and answer without looking, but Garcia’s voice isn’t what you hear on the other end.
“I’m heading back to the precinct,” Hotch says.
“O...kay,” you furrow your eyebrows, mouthing, ‘Hotch’ to JJ. “Why just you?”
“I need to show you something,” he says slowly, like he’s struggling to get the words out. “The unsub left a note.”
“What does it say?” You ask, wondering why it’s like pulling teeth to get him to speak.
“It’s addressed to you,” he finally says, and all the blood drains from your body. “It’s in an envelope and sealed. Your… Your name is on the front.”
You’re not sure what to make of that at all.
“Okay,” you say, your brain unable to really process it. “Okay, we’ll look at it when you get here.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Aaron,” you whisper, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Don’t say that to me. You’re scaring me.” You pause. “What are you sorry for?”
“For this note,” he replies, voice quiet. “For this unsub targeting you, and now for scaring you.”
“What does the note say?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “I didn’t open it.”
“Okay. Just...hurry, I guess.”
“I’m turning into the parking lot now.”
“Okay, see you in a sec,” you murmur, ending the call.
You look up from the phone to find both JJ and Reid staring at you, concern swimming deeply in their eyes. You don’t even have the energy to offer them a reassuring smile. Nothing about this is comfortable for you.
Why would the unsub leave a note addressed to you?
Hotch walks through the precinct doors a few moments later, a man on a mission as he walks directly to the conference room. You’re explaining to JJ and Reid about the note when he walks in, and you fall silent upon seeing him.
He hates that he even called you to warn you, but he had to do something. His mind was racing on the drive. He had to hear your voice, and he knew you were bound to ask why he was coming back on his own, what’s so urgent, so he knew he’d have to tell you.
But the fear in your eyes right now is something he never wants to see again. Ever.
“Where is it?” You say, your voice wavering.
Slowly, Hotch pulls the envelope out of his jacket pocket. It’s in a plastic bag, which is standard protocol for evidence, and you begin searching for a pair of gloves.
You find a pair and start to slip them on, grimacing at the way your hands shake, and using your peripheral vision to see that Aaron is watching you closely.
Once you’re gloved up, he hands you the plastic bag. It feels much heavier than it should.
Carefully, you pull out the envelope, swallowing down the nausea you’re feeling. As Hotch said, your name -- Agent Y/N L/N -- is scrawled on the front in messy handwriting. Fortunately, Reid can examine that, and this letter if it’s handwritten.
You break the seal on the envelope, flinching slightly, and ignoring that you did. But Aaron saw it.
You pull out the note and half of you cries in relief because it is handwritten, and the other half of you feels sheer terror because your business card is taped to the top left hand corner.
“Shit,” you cuss, closing your eyes.
“What?” Aaron asks, taking a step closer, lowering his head to meet your eye level.
“My business card,” you say, opening your eyes again, hating the way things look blurry for a moment. JJ and Reid are just fuzzy figures at the table when you look around the room. “It could’ve been anyone at the meetings. I handed my card to as many that would take it. There’s no way I’ll remember everyone, or even half of them, I mean, I ran out of cards, I had to go stand by Morgan because--”
“Okay, okay, slow down,” Aaron stops you, putting both hands on your arms. “Look at me, please.”
Slowly, the world comes back into focus and you meet his brown eyes, finding your peace there like you have so many other times before. You focus on the weight of his hands on your arms, grounding you, bringing you back.
“I know it’s difficult,” he says. “But you need to breathe.”
You nod, sucking in a deep breath a little too abruptly, not even realizing you had been taking shallow breaths in the first place.
“Good girl,” he whispers, so low that he’s almost mouthing it, careful not to let JJ or Reid hear. And it’s not sexual or sensual this time. It’s comforting. “Can you read the rest of it?”
You nod. “I can help you end your suffering. I can help you avenge. I can help you heal. It doesn’t have to be this way.” You pause, looking up from the note, looking between Hotch, JJ, and Reid. “What does that even mean?”
“Did you talk about your experience during the meetings?” Reid asks.
“A little bit, but I barely scratched the surface of it,” you admit. “And I didn’t mention any names. I might hate him, but...I’d never send a serial killer after him.”
“I know,” Hotch says. “We’re not accusing you of that,” he adds gently. “It’s clear our unsub feels a connection to you now. Something you said must’ve resonated deeply with her.”
“But all I said was that he was my fiancé and that I didn’t report him, so that still gets us nowhere. She’s still a ghost.”
“She’s not a ghost,” he says sternly. “We will find her. You’ve already seen her once.”
“Yeah, but I don’t remember seeing her, Hotch.”
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is she’s reaching out. Which means we’re close.”
“Not close enough,” you protest, tossing the letter back on the plastic bag on the table. “I need to take a walk.” You move toward the door, and he’s following you, so you add quietly, “Alone, please.”
Hotch nods, and watches you go, more worried than he’s ever been in his life.
+++
When Rossi, Emily, and Morgan return to the police precinct, they spot you sitting alone on a bench outside the front doors.
“I got this,” Morgan says, hopping out of the car and heading to you, gesturing for Rossi and Emily to head inside. They share a look and nod, disappearing into the precinct to leave Morgan alone with you.
You don’t even look up from your hands when you see Morgan coming over from your peripheral vision.
“What’s up, kiddo?” He asks, standing in front of you.
“I’m really not in the mood right now, Derek.”
“Too bad,” he shrugs, sitting next to you on the bench, stretching his arm out behind you. “What’s going on? You know I’m just gonna keep buggin’ you until you tell me.”
You snort. “I know.”
“So…” He pauses. “Tell me. It’ll save us both a whole lotta time. And it’ll save you a whole lotta stress, sittin’ there with all that in your head.”
You know he’s right. And you know he’s the only one who really gets it.
So, you tell him what’s wrong.
“The unsub left that note just for me. My card was taped to it, Morgan.”
“And?”
“What do you mean and? It means I laid eyes on her, maybe talked to her, handed her my fucking card, and I still didn’t know it was her.”
“We’re not superhuman, Y/N. We only see what they show us. She probably put on a mask while talking to you.”
“Well now she’s still out there--”
“Listen to me. I ran out of cards too, remember? We started using yours. I easily could’ve given her your card. Hell, I was there with you, I probably looked at her a dozen times, too. Are you gonna yell at me for not recognizing her?”
“No--”
“Then stop doing it to yourself, you hear me?”
“I just… She feels a connection to me. What does that say about me?”
“That you’re a relatable person,” Derek offers, causing you to glare at him. “Hey,” he raises a hand in surrender. “I’m just being logical. It doesn’t say anything about you. Because a serial killer’s view of you is not who you are. You are who you are.”
“Thanks for the fortune cookie.”
“Don’t get that tone with me, kid,” he replies tiredly. “You know you’re not really mad at me, so don’t take it out on me, okay?”
“I know, I’m sorry,” you rub your forehead. “I’m just…”
“It’s not your fault, Y/N.”
“I know that.”
“I know you know that, but you still need to hear it,” he says. “And I’ll always be here to tell you, got that?”
You look over at him with a small smile. “Got it.”
He smiles too, glad to see you’re feeling better. He shoves your shoulder lightly, playfully. “Come on. Let’s get back in there.”
“Yeah,” you nod, standing up.
He walks ahead, but you stay still, wondering if you should even ask what you’re about to ask. But Derek notices your hesitation and turns back around, studying you.
“Spit it out,” he says, knowing there’s something.
“The unsub is trying to talk to me,” you say, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly. “So...what if we set up a trap.”
“What?” Morgan deadpans, raising his eyebrows, turning his body to completely face you.
“What if we--”
“Use you as bait?” Morgan finishes, incredulity coating his words.
You nod. “I wasn’t going to word it like that, but--”
He scoffs, looking more and more pissed off as the seconds go on. “Hell no. Are you outta your damn mind?”
“No, I’m not. I’m--”
“No,” he stops you, holding up his hand, pointing at you. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Don’t go there. We will find this unsub, and we will do it without you sacrificing yourself.”
“I wouldn’t be sacrificing myself!” You protest. “You guys would be there. You’d have my back.”
“We can’t predict everything this unsub will do, Y/N, you know that,” Morgan fires back. “And I’ll be damned if I let you throw yourself into danger like this. It’s not happening. You hear me?”
SIghing, you nod. “I hear you.”
“Have you even told Hotch about this?”
“No.”
“Good. Don’t,” Morgan replies. “You’ll just get a lecture and you and I both know you don’t need that right now.”
“I know.”
He pauses, shaking his head. He steps forward, wrapping you in a hug, eyes closing when he feels you burying your face in his neck. “I love you, kid,” he whispers. “And I know it’s hard, but you got this, we got this. And it’s gonna be okay. Okay?”
“Okay,” you nod into his neck, taking a deep breath. “Yeah.”
Next chapter
#intelligence & issues#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#hotch#hotch x reader#hotch x you#hotch x y/n#fem!reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#hotch x fem!reader#angst#fluff#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch fanfic#hotch fanfiction
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Oops we've got a live one incoming beep beep boop
So kinda following up on our earlier thoughts about how things progress after Thrass confesses his feelings for you (while you're in a relationship with Thrawn)
At this point, Thrawn still doesn't know what happened, how Thrass accidentally let the words slip after coming to you to apologize about what happened at dinner with that awful woman. You've kept the news to yourself so far, partially because you aren't sure how to handle it, but mostly out of fear that Thrass will be punished for it beyond what he deserves and you don't want that. Things are still...weird, naturally, but you're of the mind that things don't really have to change from how they were before all of this, when everything was normal. Getting back to normal is your goal, before you knew anything about what he felt and you all coexisted just fine. That was normal. Right?
You push back the irrational feelings you had when you met him for lunch, how you were almost hopeful for some reason when he informed you he wasn't going to try dating anyone else. Really you should have been disappointed, or at least tried to encourage him to move on from this by doing so, but you didn't. It was hard for you to discern why, and you made up your mind to do it the next time you met with him.
Which, as it turns out, would be much sooner than you anticipated. You receive a sudden call from Thrawn, who is on a fleet mission somewhere deep within the chaos. He informs you that he suspects an enemy of his may be planning to target you in order to get to him, and that your home is no longer safe. He says that there's a Mitth family safehouse on Copero that you'll be escorted to, and that the escort will likely be Thrass, who may also be targeted if he remains where he is, and as a Syndic of the Mitth has the clearance to access the home.
You tentatively ask him if you'll be alone with him, and for how long. Thrawn's tone suggests he isn't thrilled by the prospect when he confirms that will indeed be the case, and that the exact amount of time is unknown until he gets things sorted out on his end. Your eyes widen, aware that now more than ever you need to tell him. "Thrawn-"
"I'm afraid time is of the essence. Your shuttle will arrive in thirty minutes. Take care, my love."
The call was dropped. Shit. You were panicking now, and not entirely because of the potential danger you were in. You and Thrass were going to be alone in a safehouse, for however long, after he confessed his love for you and you didn't exactly verbally reject him. And as for your heart-
You shook your head. Nope. You weren't going to let your fickle emotions get the best of you. Boundaries. If anything, this would be an ample opportunity to enforce them. It would be fine. You would be fine.
You had just finished packing when you heard the knock at your door right on schedule. Even though you expected to see him there, your chest still tightened when Thrass greeted you. "Ready?"
"No, but I don't really have a choice," you responded a little too honestly.
Thrass actually smiled a little. "My thoughts exactly. It would be nice to have a little more notice for these things once in a while."
"Yeah." There was more you wanted to say, but you opted to wait until after your shuttle arrived at the cruiser that would follow along the Path of Houses and you were comfortably situated. It was a more distinguished vessel than the common-class cruisers you were familiar with, but the seating arrangements were just as if not more close together despite the extra room. The seats, which were really more like sleek sofas, accommodated two people per cabin, and without any armrests or dividers to section off the center, Thrass's thigh was constantly dangerously close to rubbing against your own. Not that it was at the forefront of your mind or anything.
The silence went on for a little longer than was comfortable before you finally decided to break it. "How long will it take to get to Copero?"
"About six hours," he replied.
Wonderful. Well, that gave you plenty of time to discuss what was on your mind... Only, you didn't want to in the slightest. You were exhausted, and there wasn't any harm in waiting until you got to your destination, although there was one thing you needed to find out straight away.
"I don't suppose you told Thrawn about... the incident when you spoke with him?"
You felt his exhale before you heard it.
"I...I was going to, but he insisted there wasn't much time to talk and hung up before I could say anything else."
"Ah. Same here." You kept your head down and fumbled with the hem of your shirt. He was likely just as anxious as you, since he was more or less doing the same with the lining of his robes. He seemed pretty tired as well, even more than you were judging by the heaviness of his eyelids. A nap was definitely on the agenda for you both, but not before you asked one more question. "Did he say anything about the enemy that could potentially attack us?"
Thrass shook his head. "No. I'm hoping he'll give us more details as time goes on." He must have felt you tense up a little, since he then twisted to face you and offered a comforting smirk. "It's a bit nerve-wracking, isn't it?"
"You can say that again."
He smiled. "Don't worry. I'll protect you." You looked down to see that his hand had brushed yours and then pulled back, as though he thought about holding it but then decided against it. "Did you have time to eat? I can order you some food if you like."
It would be so much easier to find him less charming if he wasn't always looking out for you and anticipating your needs like that. Hopefully he'd make up for it by being insufferably annoying once you were living together and getting under each other's skin. He'd spent nights at your home before, but never for such an extended amount of time. Surely, you'd hate each other by the end of it. The thought strangely made you smile.
"I'm okay. I'm more tired than anything, honestly."
"I concur." He opened a side compartment within the wall beside him and retrieved two small plush-looking pillows, handing you one as he situated his own behind his neck. "I'll have to call for blankets, but it will get a little warmer once we've been traveling for a bit longer."
"I don't think that will be necessary." Damnit, Thrass. Again with making your heart melt by- nope. It was clearly time for sleep. You scooted as far off to the side and you could and placed your pillow in the corner. "I'll sleep just fine like this. Wake me up if we're about to die or something."
Thrass chuckled. "Sure thing."
It wasn't long before the both of you dozed off.
~
It was an excellent nap. You felt so well-rested, so cozy... You had no idea how much time had passed, so you opened your eyes to check-
To find that your head was resting snugly against Thrass's shoulder, and his head was resting against your own, pillows all but forgotten. Somehow in the middle of your sleep you had found each other and locked arms, then got plenty comfortable. He was still sound asleep, his soft breaths brushing against your skin as you debated how you could slip away without waking him up, but determined it would be impossible with the way you were supporting him. You sighed softly, trying not to think too hard about how nice this was, and how good he smelled, and how his breath felt-
I'm calling Thrawn as soon as we get to the safehouse, you thought. For now, you were content to sink back into position and close your eyes, resting your hand inside Thrass's open palm. He gripped it in his sleep, slipping his fingers between yours as if on instinct. You sighed once again.
Surely, you would hate each other before long.
(oops this was an idea that turned into a whole-ass thing again lol sorry)
Oh my god...
This had better not be a “and there was only one bed” situations or so help me-
It’s definitely not one of those things but if it were... He’d absolutely insist that you take it, since he’s been charged with taking care of you. But you can’t just let him sleep on the floor, either. He keeps his arms locked at his sides when he’s sleeping, as if his instincts were forcing him not to move a single muscle. You on the other hand, end up turning over and basically snuggling into his side. Whether it’s out of habit or not, he can’t tell, but he has to work hard not to return the hold at all, and it ends up keeping him awake most of the night. You wonder why he always looks so exhausted in the mornings.
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If I may ask for another request? More soft BJ! BJ being given his first birthday party (probably the next up and coming Friday the 13th.). Star gazing with BJ! Watching him kick ass at carnival/arcade games and always ones up the other couples by getting you the BEST prizes! Oh or BJ nervously about to confess that he’s in love with reader but everything goes straight to hell and the moment is ruined only for the reader to comfort Bj and confess. Idk I’m just spit balling here...
YES
Ok I'm trying to bring my blog back from the dead, and before we get into this infeel I owe you guys an explanation.
I was going through a rough time emotionally and I didn't really have it in me to put any of my "emotional battery" into being creative. But, I'm doing better now. Much better. And, I'm going to try and start posting regularly again! And cleaning out my inbox. I hope I didn't let any of you down, and I hope you all like this! (Also, please bear with me while I try to get a grasp on this character again)
So, Beej never really had a birthday. He couldn't even tell you what it was if he tried, it had been so long and he never really celebrated it. When you asked how he kept track of how old he was, his only response was "bold of you to assume I keep track" so, that was really no help. So, you decided to take matters into your own hands.
You chose Noveber 13th. A friday. In most years it was a friday the 13th. It felt fitting for your bug man. On the 12th you stayed up late, putting up decorations and baking a cake. But, it didnt stop there. The "13 Festival" was going on, something your town did every Friday the 13th. And you bet your beautiful ass you were gonna take him. People would be dressed up as monsters, zombies, spooks and haunts anyways, so he would for right in.
Coming down the stairs that morning, Beetlejuice would be lying if he said he wasn't a little miffed that you weren't there when he woke up. He'd be lying even more if he said the sudden and jarring sound of noise makers and his entire found family yelling "SURPRISE!" didnt scare the shit out of him.
"GHOST ZOMBIE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" he jumped, "what the fuck is goin on?" He asked, the slept throughly shocked out of him.
"Its your brithday!" You laughed at him, blowing your kazoo at him, "were celebrating! Like the decor? I made it myself!" You beamed, proud of your work. He nodded, looking around, "I mean, it's great babes, but..its not my birthday." "How do you know that?" "....ya know, ya got me there." He smiled, coming down to kiss your forehead.
You played some old rock and roll and hung out with the family. The party was pretty lowkey, but beej like it that way. Everyone was there, Barbara, Adam, Lydia, De, hell even Charles, Charles fricking deets was there and he just wished him a happy birthday. Fucking wild. The cake had black and white stripes in it. Even more fucking wild. And his amazing SO made it, which was less wild but only because they were amazing and could literally do anything, including warm this cold dead heart.
After everyone left, beej was more than happy to call it a night. You on the other hand, were not. "I got one more surprise for you babe" you smiled, "is it vodka?" "No, what? No." "Oh..." "no silly, it's the 13th Festival." "Oh yea! Isnt it that thing where you breathers celebrate it being unlucky?" "Yes! And, I was wondering if you wanted to go?" "Will there be funnel cake?" "Yes." "Why are we still here? Let's GO!"
You laughed as you walked with him. He was getting more and more excited about this, about being among the breathers. It had been forever since he had last been to a festival. Literally.
He wasn't all that big into the rides. They were giant death machines and he was worried about you getting hurt. You tried to explain to him that that fear was irrational and you'd be fine, but he wasn't having that.
Now the games on the other hand...
Beetlejuice had a natural talent for those games. Darts? A natural. Hoop toss? Fucking nailed it. Basketball? A gosh dang pro. And, even if it was his birthday, the prizes went to you.
"Here ya go babes!" He said proudly, handing you a stuffed Cerberus, "one cutie pup for a cutie face" he grinned as you giggled with glee. Then, a squeal much louder than yours rung out next to you. You two turned to see another couple, the presumed boyfriend handing the presumed girlfriend a significantly larger Jason doll.
"Aww, that's so cute" you said with a smile. Beej on the other hand, narrowed his eyes. He would not be one upped on his birthday.
"Can I get 4 more darts please? Actually, 8" he said, handing over 2 dollars and getting the darts. "Beej?" "Yes babes?" He said, taking aim, "what are you doing?" He threw the dart and popped the first balloon. Then pointed at the giant Cthulu stuffie. "Winning you that."
"Darling, you dont have to-" "oh I know" another balloon popped, "I want too." 6 balloons later, you were trying to figure out how to get this giant cthulu into the car.
On the ride home, you couldn't help but notice how beautiful the sunset was. You couldn't help but take a detour. "Huh? Hey babes, where we goin?" He asked as he noticed the change in route. "Trust me" you smile.
By the time you reached your destination, the moon was up and the stars were bright. Beetlejuice got the idea quick. He smiled, reaching into the back seat and grabbing a blanket. "I like the way you think sexy" he grinned, laying it out. You grabbed your Cthulu for extra comfort, cuddling with him on the stuffed lovecraftian god.
He smiled as he looked at you looking at the stars. Is this what birthdays were all about? If he knew that he would have had one aged ago. He kissed your forehead. "Thanks babes." "For what?" "The best birthday ever." You blushed. "Any time Beej." "I love you Y/N" "I love you too Lawrance"
Ok, so, this was kinda rushed and a bit sloppy but listen...as the first thing I've written in like, a month I'm super happy with it, and I hope you guys are too. I hope you guys like it, and as always feedback is always welcome! I hope to get at least one of these out a night until my inbox is cleaned, and then hopefully more after that. Let me know what you think guys!
#betlegeuse#beetlejuice headcanon#beej#beetlejuice#beetlejuicemusical#beetlejuice fan fic#beetlejuice fanfiction#beetlejuice x reader#soft!beej#soft beetlejuice
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Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 10: “It’s Valentine’s, After All”
And with this episode, we’re officially starting to cover material that the 2001 anime completely cut out, just to make it even more clear that this is going to be a complete and faithful adaptation of the manga.
I can’t wait to see new viewers react to Shigure’s true nature as this goes on, lol.
Thoughts under the cut [plus some big spoilers for the entire manga]
Even though this episode was a pretty 1:1 adaptation of stuff from the manga, there’s a lot to say about how it compares to the 2001 anime’s take on the same part of the story, since they’re surprisingly different, and really highlight how much the 2001 anime cut out from the manga.
To put it simply, this episode adapted chapters 15 and 16 of the manga, whereas episode 11 of the 2001 anime [kind of sort of] adapted chapters 15, 16, and 17 of the manga. It’s been a while since I watched it, but I think they did it by removing everything from chapters 15 and 16 that wasn’t specifically about valentine’s day. Which meant that they cut out all the set up for Kyo’s character development and Shigure’s darker side. It’s understandable that the 2001 anime would have cut that stuff out since it’s some very long-term set-up that only pays off in parts of the story that hadn’t even been written by that point, but it’s a very good example of how the 2001 anime cut out a lot of the darkness and depth of the series and focused way more on the comedy.
I have a feeling some people might be a bit confused about why Momiji and his story about the foolish traveler weren’t in this episode, but that’s just because that part’s from chapter 17, so it should just be in the next episode.
The next episode should cover up to the same point as the equivalent episode from the 2001 anime, but the hot springs part itself should probably feel a bit less slow and drawn out than it was there.
Anyway, even though this episode is mostly just a straight adaptation of the manga, the fact that so much of it wasn’t adapted in the 2001 anime makes it feel really fresh and new. It’s a really effective set-up episode for a whole bunch of future plot points and character development.
The stuff with Kyo’s traumatic flashback to Kyoko’s death is one of the things I’ve been most excited to see in the reboot, and I think they handled it really well. They even added a short original scene at the start of the episode with Kyo waking up from what was probably a nightmare about Kyoko’s death, which he then flashes back to again when Shigure points out how irrational his hatred of Yuki is. The panel where he has that flashback is probably one of my favourite individual panels of the manga, since it’s so sudden and visceral and different from the style of anything else in the story, and comes way before the story really digs into it’s darker elements. I knew that they wouldn’t handle it in the exact same way, artistically, so I was a bit worried it might be a bit of a let down, but I think they handled it nicely. Having it be a very sudden, choppy black and white flashback to some scattered visuals of Kyo watching Kyoko die was really effective. And at least going by what I’ve seen anime-only people say, it was ambiguous enough that people who don’t know the truth of it seem to be assuming that it’s just something to do with Kagura, or his true form. So hopefully the eventual full reveal of his backstory with Kyoko will still be shocking to them when it happens.
But on the other hand, the real MVP of this episode was Shigure, which a lot of people who just watched the 2001 anime might be surprised by, since I don’t think he really played a big part in the original Valentine’s episode, and in general the 2001 anime didn’t get into his actual backstory and character development at all. But a fair bit of this episode was devoted to teasing at the darkness going on in his past, and his selfish schemes and motives, with the whole Valentine’s double date with the main trio and Kagura quickly becoming more of a background detail than the main focus of the episode. I’ve seen a lot of anime-only people who’ve been really wanting the show to focus more on Shigure, so I hope they’re pleased with this episode one way or another, lol.
I’m not sure how much I should say about Shigure and his relationship with Akito now, and how much I should just save until later so I don’t end up repeating myself, but to put it simply, I actually really like their relationship, and both of them as characters, so this episode was really exciting for me. I think they’re doing a great job of setting up Shigure’s motives and plans while still leaving a lot to be explored and revealed later.
I feel like I need to attach a whole list of disclaimers to me saying that I like their relationship, though, since I don’t like it in the same way that, for example, I like Kyo and Tohru’s relationship. It’s hard to say that I ‘ship it’, because I don’t think their relationship is healthy at all and I don’t even really think they should have ended up together in the long run. I just think that their relationship is really interesting as a plot point that acts as the crux of basically the entire story. I like it because it’s dark and unhealthy and a lot more ‘adult’ than basically all of the other major relationships in the series.
Since this episode at least introduces the idea of Shigure’s dream from when he was a child, I may as well make it clear that that’s basically the core aspect of their relationship which set the whole thing in motion, and it defines what it’s all about. It’s up for interpretation, to some degree, but I view it as a sort of dark, realistic take on the romanticized notion of ‘soulmates’. You know how soulmate AU fan-fics which premises like ‘your soulmate’s name appears as a tattoo on your body when they’re born’ or whatever are really popular? I view Shigure’s dream as exactly the same sort of thing. Broadly speaking, the dream is a reflection of the supernatural bond between the god and the zodiac members, and most of them don’t like it at all, but for Shigure specifically, the dream effectively forced him from that day onward to view Akito as his soulmate. Those feelings came to him in a dream, and as he himself put it in this episode, it was over for him from that point onward. He had no choice but to devote himself to claiming and preserving that feeling.
A big part of why I like their relationship so much is because it goes so far to expose how incredibly messed up the entire concept of having a supernaturally designated soulmate from birth would actually be for someone. If you knew that you had to do everything you could to be with one specific person, or else you’d live your life with a feeling of hollowness, because you’ve already had a glimpse of that intense emotion, which no other person can give you. Just like Shigure says, it probably makes him the most cursed of all the zodiac. When the curse eventually gets broken, most of the zodiac are able to just move on with their lives and slowly separate themselves from Akito, and they wonder why they ever cared so much about her in the first place, but even after all of that, I think Shigure still had no choice but to be bound by his feelings for her.
The whole underlying thread of how Shigure seems both genuinely in love with Akito, and aware enough of his situation to be bitter and resentful about how his feelings for her are basically an inescapable curse placed upon him from childhood, is one of the most fascinating parts of the story to me, even if it only rarely gets touched upon.
I just have a lot to say about these two, lol. They’re definitely two of the most polarizing and controversial characters in the story, but for better or worse, the entire story wouldn’t exist without them.
On a more random note, we finally get to see Shigure’s editor in person in this episode for the first time, and let’s just say I wasn’t expecting her to have silver hair. Come to think of it, I don’t think she ever appeared in any colour pages in the manga, so I don’t think we’ve ever seen her canon hair colour before this. It’s kinda funny that it’s basically the reverse of what’s probably gonna happen with Kazuma later in this season, since he had silver hair in the 2001 anime, but he has brown hair in the manga.
She also sounds a lot more young than I imagined, but I never really put much thought into who would voice her in the anime.
Anyway, this was a really great episode in a whole lot of ways. It makes me really happy that these elements of the story are finally being adapted, especially with so much care and attention to detail. I’m glad that both manga readers and anime-only people seem to be really enjoying where it’s going.
And since it seems like the reboot is gonna be 63 episodes long in total, there’s a whoooole lot more left to come, so we’ll at least actually get the full pay-off to all of these things being set up.
#murasaki rambles#fruits basket#this might have been a fairly heavy and dramatic episode#but let's just say it still feels so comforting and fluffy compared to the emotional storm of yesterday's episode of sarazanmai lol
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The Break Up Blog - Day Thirty One
Urgh, I am still so tired today.
Luckily, I got my lazy ass out of bed at 06:15 and started getting ready for the day. Eating only one Weetabix for breakfast was a mistake though because I was starving again close to 10:00, but I forged on with the day.
it was a long and tiring day at work because my written assessments were due today. Naturally, all my students took that to mean ‘take your own sweet time doing a simple writing activity that I basically did for you from scratch without really knowing what you’re actually doing even after I’ve told you a million times how to do it’.
I think this may be the definition of what an ESL teacher is.
Still, it wasn’t a horrible day, not at all. I was in good spirits throughout; I even went off-campus with C, AS and PE to get lunch and my favourite passion fruit drink from Ydiendien. Most of my students are done with their assessments, but whoever’s not finished yet will just have to do it on Monday. So if any of my students want to complain about my other classes getting some free time on Monday, they can suck it up because they should’ve done their work quicker. And then they could enjoy some free time after a big test too. It pays to do your work expediently instead of wasting your time being a smartass.
I don’t have the energy to care anymore about how I’m actually teaching. I just want to get my students through their four assessments for the rest of the semester and a few other mandatory school events like the Speech Contest. And then hopefully, my jaded ass will be done with this mundane crap before I’m hopefully moving onto bigger and better things. It’s a shame; I actually get along with more than 96% of my colleagues and my students and on paper, the school I work at is really great. They just have a super shitty management style and their ESL curriculum is not only outdated, but irrational and counter-productive. There’s no point staying at a job if you’re not growing, both professionally and personally.
I managed to leave work on time and spent an hour at home vegging on the couch and texting D back and forth. There’s some noisy construction going on in her building and it got her pretty worked up. I just hope she ended up having a better evening after getting a massage earlier to help her cool off. I’ll never understand how Chinese people can build more apartments on top of existing apartments without there being some kind of damage to a building’s structural integrity. As the saying goes: ‘TIC: This is China’.
Because of that, I spaced out on my timing with making bruschetta before heading over to C’s for Game Night with PE, his wife G, CI and AM. I ended up baking two sets of bruschetta: one with tomatoes and one without, which got me a bit flustered. C’s allergic to tomato too as well as mushrooms, so I had to change my bruschetta recipe ever so slightly and separate the meats and vegetables while preparing the toppings. I kinda thought that it wouldn’t be right to make C sick or kill her because of a bad allergic reaction when she kindly offered to host ‘Game Night’ at her place.
After lots of dawdling, I made it over to C’s at 18:30. CI, PE and G were already there playing a round of ‘Karma’ while C and AS had gone out to buy more snacks. AM had forgotten about ‘Game Night’ initially, but left the gym to come join us in the end.
It was a really fun night! Everyone liked the bruschetta and the Korean-styled fried chicken that C ordered. I drank some of the cocktails I brought over along with PE’s whiskey and Sprite and AM’s fruit cocktails that she mixed up in a blender, but I didn’t even get tipsy, let alone drunk. It was nice distracting myself and letting go of my worries without using alcohol as an excuse. We played Cards Against Humanity, which was fucking hilarious and just wrong on all levels. Then we used our phones to play some interactive games on PE’s PS4, which was loads of fun too.
CI was the first to leave because he was pretty tired and then AM left an hour after him. I felt a bit worried about CI’s departure since he initially wanted to leave for the evening when C told us some shocking news related to work. She was told today that my school wouldn’t be renewing her contract next year. And all because she’s been at the school too long (4 years so far) and the new vice-principal thinks it’s better for our school to have a higher turn-over for foreign students. But the school is so ‘sad’ about it and hope that C won’t take it personally and that they’re willing to give her a glowing letter of recommendation.
Honestly, all of the reasoning behind this sounds like total crap. Our new vice-principal just started working at school literally last week and he suddenly has a lot to say about turnover in foreign staff members?
Nuh, I’m flagging the play and calling bullshit.
I think that C has inadvertently pissed off a lot of people at our school just by being a better teacher with more innovative teaching methods and who actually cares about the students. And now these people are finally getting what they wanted all-along: the chance to get rid of C under a legitimate and pretentious guise. I feel really sad and angry about the entire affair, mainly because I wanted C to be able to leave on her own terms and reject the school instead of the other way around. They’ve treated her so badly; it would’ve been nice to see everyone’s smug faces shatter when she told them to shove their contract up their asses.
Still, I know that C will bounce right back from all of this. She’s a trooper and I know she won’t let shitty people get her down for too long. I admire her a lot for it. I honestly don’t care if my school wants to renew my contract or doesn’t at this point. As far as I’m concerned, they can kiss my big, brown ass. They’ll get the picture soon enough when they actually start reading the online reviews from previous staff members about how crap their system really is. But by then, it’ll be too late. C will have moved onto bigger and better things by then, so more power to her.
It kinda feels like everything is falling apart this year: my parents separated and my dad’s living indefinitely in his own apartment away from my mom; X and I broke up when I thought we’d be each other’s forevers. And now, this business with C not having her contract renewed and her possibly leaving China next year. I think the latter move is what’s best for her, since she’s been in China for 4 years already and her health’s deteriorating. She’ll have better access to healthcare back in the States and she’ll also have better business contacts too. But still, a lot seems to have changed for the worst this year and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.
Still, I’m not too depressed about things. I just keep showing up and punching my proverbial time card. I can’t afford to curl up into the foetal position in my bedroom and say, ‘Oh well, I gave it a shot. But the Universe and all its fucked up ways wins this round.’
Tomorrow’s another day and it usually shines brighter than yesterday ever could. C’s going to take AS around the city tomorrow and help her do some grocery shopping for her new apartment and they invited me along. It’s good that we’ll do it in the morning so I can rest in the afternoon and hopefully exercise in the evening.
We got a nice bonus at work for Chuseok (Korean Thanksgiving), so it’s nice to have a little extra cash this month. I’m gonna use the bulk of my bonus on rent for this month so I only have to withdraw a little rent money next month when it’s due. God works in mysterious ways and he saved me from being flat broke. August was rough on my soul and it took a lot to keep me afloat. But I got through it somehow and I’m grateful that He was there to catch me whenever I fell.
I’m really lucky.
It’s not easy walking around every day with a broken heart, wondering if you’ll ever get fixed or just stay a broken toy for a long time to come. That’s probably why I’m giving into shameless perving on anything in human form these days. Because perving is silly and harmless. It gives me a weird feeling of confidence unlike when real feelings are involved. Because when something is real, it means something. And when it means something, you let your guard down and put your trust in another person. And that person has the power to fuck you over for a long time till you’re not sure you’ll have the heart or the courage to love another person again after them.
That’s what X did to me and I’m in no hurry to give my heart away so soon again. I want to keep my heart to myself for a little while longer until I wake up one day and magically realise that I no longer care about X in any sense.
Now, it’s already the next day and it’s actually the thirty-second day since I told X to ‘hit the bricks’. As good as it is to get out, meet people and stay busy, I hope I can slow down soon though. I need to start getting proper rest so I can function properly.
I don’t want to think or stress too much about anything that happens from here on out. I just want to live in the moment and try to be happy in which way it comes to me.
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T1. Part 2!
26.12.17 week 8/9
A few weeks on and I am noticing that every run will be a different experience. I ran with the Strider A group on a Wednesday for a muster run and I really struggled. Just felt like I had nothing to give and I was at the back of the group for all of it. A few days later and I went out on my own and I felt fine. It’s funny how much you can change between a few days. The midwives have all been supportive of me carrying on, but I do wish there was more support and information for people like us who are more than the average plodder but don’t fall under professional category. I did Christmas Day Parkrun in just over 22 mins (First Lady, couldn’t help myself!)- I was able to say hello and chat to people over the course and I didn’t feel tired in the slightest when I finished BUT my heart rate stats looked quite high towards the end of the end which had me worried. I know my watch isn’t 100% accurate though. I then spent the rest of the evening googling high heart rates again even though most of the research tells you to use other methods for gauging effort. It’s so confusing to know what to do. I can understand why some female athletes just leave it completely because then there is no doubt or dispute. St. Helens is a fairly hilly Parkrun so again, that probably didn’t help. I suspect I might be better running with other people in the coming months so I don’t get too carried away or let my competitive streak come out. It sounds daft but because I feel good at the moment, I can sometimes forget I am pregnant! I’m sure that won’t be the case in the coming months when I have a growing bump but I need to keep a reign on things. I have stopped for a walk on some of my runs and it hasn’t bothered me. Especially if there is a hill which brings my heart rate up, it’s nice to walk for 30 seconds or so to bring everything back down and then continue.
06.01.18 week 10
This time last year I was three weeks post stress fracture and I watched the Merseyside XC champs from the side lines. Everything I had been doing was gearing up to that event and I was bitterly disappointed that I couldn’t take part. Fast forward 12 months and although I’m not perhaps at my fittest at present, I wanted to banish the demons and run in the event. Arrowe Park was the venue for this years Championship (another reason for testing it in week 6 to see how I got on). Although we unfortunately didn’t have a full team out for the ladies, three of us turned up braved the mud. Kelly raced amazingly and finished 7th overall, hopefully putting her in with an opportunity of representing Merseyside at the Intercounties Champs in March. I started off fairly easily (top 25) and then started to overtake a few ladies on the first lap. I ended up finishing 13th overall which I was really pleased with but my spikes are officially getting retired now until next season. Even though I felt in control the entire time and wasn’t pushing myself as I would normally, it’s also difficult running on uneven terrain and I suspect my looser ligaments might thank me if I call it a day now. I don’t mind though, i feel like I have had a bit of a xc season so I know it will be waiting for me on the other side. And I would rather hang up my spikes on my own terms so I very much feel in control at the moment.
I have a new worry though. I worry when I get bigger that people will judge me for continuing to run (or waddle!). I know there is still some misunderstanding and negative stigma around exercise during pregnancy and whilst athletes like Paula Ratcliffe and Jo Pavey have shown that you can continue to keep fit, it is still a long way from being normalised. Part of me wants to help normalise it and to hopefully encourage other women that they can still do activity and it be good for both them and baby. So whilst I am worried, I also know that if I can inspire one woman to do the same then it would be worth it. I guess in life you always get judged (and I have been the victim of that in the past) so this is just another potential hurdle to jump over and sail past.
The one thing I am failing to deal with at present is my need to snack on sugary things. It’s so bad! The best memory was sitting on the turbo eating a bag of haribo 😂 I have always had a sugary tooth which I managed to curb for a few years but with Christmas etc I really do have the taste for it again. I need to be careful - if I wasn’t exercising I would definitely be putting on more weight than I have and I don’t want there to be any ill effects so I will make a conscious effort... starting tomorrow!!
On a scientific side, I have started to show a little more interest in my heart rate. I only got a HRM with my watch last year so I don’t have much to compare it with. I have therefore never trained my heart within a specific zone- I know IM plans recommend it in order to train more effectively but it is something I have never done. On more recent runs, rather than look at pace, I have just kept the heart rate screen up and tried to keep it consistent so my breathing was steady. On the first few runs it meant my pace was a little irratic as I was slowing a little then speeding a little but after a few goes, my pace naturally fell in line with my heart rate. So now I have an evenish heart rate and an even run pace to match. My garmin states that my predicted vo2 rate is 55 which gives me a 5km predicted time of 18:48 - That’s with no track sessions or tempo sessions (for over 8 weeks). The last time I had that score was in the summer. I know it is only an estimate and clearly I’m not in racing condition for that, but I am interested in whether training in this way will have a longer term positive impact on my running. We will have to see!
So my running goals for 2018 look a little different to normal. I want to try and get 150 parkruns before the year is out (as of 20/01/18 I am on 117) and I also hit my 25th volunteer total for Parkrun too. I also want to try and get 20 different parkruns (think I am on 16) so plenty to keep me interested and motivated over the coming months. And if I can’t run then I will walk instead 💪🏻
T1 Review
Biggest surprise- that my swimming speed suffered more than my running. I was at the back of lane 3 after only 4 weeks and after being overtaken more than once I dropped back to lane 2 by week 9. I will run out of lanes soon 😂
I haven’t missed alcohol- I really thought I would miss my Chablis or prosecco but it was like a switch went off in my mind as soon as I found out. Funny how your body works!!
Best bits- being 1st lady at Christmas Day Parkrun St. Helens for the 3rd year, placing 13th at the XC County Champs and still fitting into my skinny jeans 😉 showing flump my favourite routes and enjoying the time we have together on our adventures (Fairclough bump = flump).
Worst bit- more frequent loo stops than normal 😂 pretending to drink over Christmas at all the Christmas parties (non alcoholic beer thank you!!)
Stats-
Pregnancy miles so far- 246
Average miles per week since finding out- 27
Rach
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NEO World of Advent Chapter Thirteen
Author's Note: For some reason I thought the tournament was called the 'Gran Serena' not the Grand Serena. I'll go back and fix it soon. Sorry for any confusion that may have caused.
NEO World of Advent Chapter 13
For the first time in a solid week, Cipher found himself in the office. The phones rang at odd intervals with a customer at the end, usually armed with the belief that they were owed a cheaper machine for Cipher's shop not having been certified by Neo Arcadia. He couldn't help it if his designs weren't reviewed by the board of commerce; such patents often took years Cipher didn't have. As it were, some of his designs were in the process of review, but when they would be finished, Cipher had no idea.
Besides, he thought with no small amount of aggravation as a woman told him that an 'actually respectable' shop sold Sliders for a quarter of the price he did his. "Ma'am." Cipher said, holding back the ire he wanted to let burst forth, "That's a pawn shop. Everything you'll find there has been broken at least once in its lifetime. Everything we sell here is brand new. Yes, I assure you it's safe; I use them myself. No ma'am, that doesn't mean - I use one of them myself. Not all of them."
The woman on the other end screeched about untruthful employees ('You just said they were brand new!') and demanded to talk to the manager. Cipher contemplated just hanging up, but even rude customers' money could make a difference. It was only when the irate woman started demanding to see 'someone competent' that Cipher told her that he'd give her over to the manager ('Hopefully someone whose parents raised him with a bit of common sense!'). Cipher beckoned Brandon over while muffling his end of the receiver. "Congratulations," he said darkly. "You've been promoted."
Brandon took the phone from him and pacified the irrational customer with a good deal more patience than what Cipher was capable of at the moment. He made his way to the back, where hopefully a cup of coffee would calm his frazzled nerves, rolling his eyes as Brandon attempted to explain that they would actually lose money if they sold a Slider at that rate. One week of freedom, Cipher thought bitterly, and you forget how crazy people are. Another dial tone sounded; it took Cpher a moment to realize it was his personal one.
"Hello?" Cipher checked the address - his home, nervously. Usually the Advents he left at the apartment complex didn't call if it wasn't important. "Is anything wrong?"
"Uh yeah," Carla's voice came through from the other end. "Is vomit supposed to be green? Charles is having a fit."
Cipher pinched his nose. Charles had come down with a fit of violent food sickness last night; Cipher had hoped that the day off was all that was necessary. A hospital bill was the last thing they needed. "Go ahead and call the medics," he told her. "Have Wess stay with him; Shirley's in charge." He made a quick motion to the girl in question, Shirley quickly packing her things for an emergency trip back home.
"Are you sure," Carla asked. "You told us not to call for an ambulance unless it was an emergency."
"You're the one letting me know he's puking up radioactive vomit," Cipher said. "Just have Wess stay by him and let me know if he gets any worse. Get him to call the medics."
"Okay," Carla said. In the background he heard her conversation: "Kyle, call an ambulance!"
"Are you sure?" the reply came back.
"JUST DO IT," Carla yelled. There was a shuffling sound as she focused her voice towards Cipher. "He's busy; is there someone else or do you want me to hang up?"
"Just get Sarah to do it," Cipher told her. He wanted to scream; could anything go right today?
"SARAH!" Carla's unnaturally loud voice blared through Cipher's communicator; he suddenly felt as though holding it away from his ear might be a good idea. "GET DOWN HERE AND CALL AN AMBULANCE. NO, I'M OKAY, IT'S FOR CHARLES." Another shuffling sound. "They're on the way," she explained calmly.
"Thanks Carla," Cipher said. "You're a lifesaver."
"He'll be okay, won't he? It was just some bad fish." Carla sounded worried.
"Yeah, he'll be okay," Cipher assured her. "The medics have dealt with much worse, I'm sure. Just make sure Matt doesn't take advantage of the chaos, alright? I don't want to come home and find the television missing."
"Alright. I'll let you know if… Hang on, Shirley's here. Should I go?"
"Yeah," Cipher said, "Let her know what's going on. Tell her to keep me informed; you're free to go."
"Thanks, Cy." Carla hung up.
Cipher let out a long growl of frustration, ignoring the cautious looks Kent and Brandon were giving each other. "Are you sure we can afford a hospital?" Kent asked carefully.
"I don't know," Cipher snapped. "But I'm not going to argue with you about making sure he's okay over a damn bill."
Kent's raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. Just don't bite my head off."
"Sorry." Cipher's eye twitched as a phone rang in the now-empty cubicle belonging to Shirley.
"Do you want us to get that?" Brandon asked when it was clear that Cipher had no intention of answering it.
"No," Cipher told them. "Just close up for the day. There's nothing we can get done with just the three of us anyway. Kent, make sure nothing's using energy if it doesn't have to. Brandon, you sweep. No need to mop if we've only been here for a few hours."
"On it," Brandon said. "What then?"
"Just go home," Cipher told them. "I'm going to test something out in the meantime. Throw out whatever fish we have in storage."
"Got it," the two said. "Don't worry about us; just do what you have to do to cool off or something."
"Thanks," Cipher said. "I'll see you guys later." Cipher made his way to the back, where the general public were not allowed, unlocking a case with a passcode. It clicked open, revealing what appeared to be wrist and knee guards. They were white with dormant grey strips that Cipher knew would fill with energy upon being turned on. He put them on to see if they still fit, but soon removed them; their real purpose lay beyond mere accessories. He connected the ends of them outside, pressing a button as the compatible ends formed a bridge of green energy along its base, like the surface of a Slider.
This was his private design, the prototype for an extremely portable hoverboard- armor that turned into a vehicle. Obviously he would have to work out a few bugs and it would lack the control and power of a normal Slider, but the convenience was something else. Nothing like it was in production, Cipher knew. It was a completely new innovation, one he could charge whatever he wanted for and not be told that there was one just like it for half the price across the street.
Cipher tested the edges of the energy gingerly, taking care in case the edges were sharp. The energy used was the same kind used by the Neo Arcadian government to create sabers or other weapons; refining it to the point where it didn't take on a bladed edge had taken some effort. When they were ready for mass production, Cipher would make sure to buy the energy before it was crafted into a weapon, but scrounging for scraps was all he could afford right now.
Cipher made a slow but steady trip over the white and blue building where Neige had told him to meet if he ever needed further funds for the tourney. Anthem Broadcasting, it was called. She said she would likely be in her office anyway, and to not bother with an appointment if he had to see her. While it wasn't necessarily for the Grand Serena, hopefully Cipher could work something out for a small loan.
Once he came to a stop, the pieces of his new Slider fell apart, the energy that connected it dissipating with a hiss. Cipher examined the pieces critically, feeling them hot to the touch. He put them on anyway, rationalizing that they at least lasted long enough to get him where he was going. Stalling in one place might cause them to deactivate, a kink he'd have to fix later.
Inside, reporters talked amongst each other. Occasionally, Cipher could hear them talking about a controversial issue or griping about a certain politician they didn't like. It was strange, Cipher thought, how different jobs in the city were dominated by certain groups. The military, of course, was primarily reploid in nature, entertainment was a pretty even split, and the media seemed to be primarily human-oriented.
"Is that you, Cipher?" Neige came around the corner, a cup of something hot held in her hands as it waved steam across her face. "I thought I saw you drive by."
"Yeah," Cipher said. "I mean yes, I'm here. Could I talk to you about something?"
"Sure thing." Neige beckoned for him to follow her to his office. "So. What's up? Something go wrong with the tournament or is it something else? I thought you did pretty well in the preliminaries."
"No, nothing like that." Cipher dug out a picture of his Family for emotional impact. "One of my Family is sick. I'm pretty sure it's nothing serious, but I don't think we can pay the doctors this time around. Is there any way you could give me a loan of sorts? Just a small one; I'll pay it back as soon as physically possible."
"I can give you a loan," Neige agreed. Cipher felt a wave of relief until she added to her statement. "But i don't want your money. Most Advent Families struggle to get by as it is. There is something that you can help me with though."
"What is it?" Cipher asked. "If it's that interview you were talking about earlier, I don't mind anymore."
"No it's not that," Neige said. "Well, maybe later depending on how this goes. Cipher, are you aware that Zero and Ciel, the leaders of the Resistance, had children?"
"Yes," Cipher said slowly, "But I don't see what that has anything to do with me."
"Well I do," Neige said matter-of-factly. "Just do me this one favor and take a genealogy exam and I'll forward enough Zenny to provide for your Family for a couple of years. Just one little test."
"That's illegal," Cipher said. "Neo Arcadia forbids any sort of paternity test for Advents in a registered Family."
"I often find that what's illegal or unethical isn't always immoral," Neige said. "They told you your parents were dead, but are you really content with just their word?"
"What do you want from me?" Cipher demanded. "I'm just a mechanic. What's so important about a genealogy exam and what do the leaders of the Resistance have to do with it?"
"Sit down," Neige told him; he had risen without meaning to. Cipher grudgingly lowered himself into his chair. "I know the news keeps talking about their kid of theirs- Cero, and the one Umera kidnapped, but they also had another in incubation. They even named him."
"So?" Cipher felt an uncomfortable prickling of his skin, an old hope rising to the surface. "Who cares? They're dead."
"We never found them," Neige corrected Cipher. "A lot of folks know that their firstborn was to be named Light, after one of Ciel's ancestors. But the other one, his name was Cipher."
Cipher swallowed a hard knot in his throat. "That doesn't mean anything though."
"Really?" Neige pulled out a small mirror. "Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Advents take after their human parents, you know. I happen to be familiar with a blonde woman with eyes just like yours." Neige sighed. "I know it's a lot to take in."
"What if you're wrong," Cipher asked. "There's no way. How would I be named Cipher if they didn't know who I was?"
"I have my theories," Neige said. "The government has been pretty shady about the whole 'Advent' thing ever since Umera showed us his true colors. Do you remember anything about who named you?"
"They told me someone left a card with my name on it," Cipher said. "I just thought my parents decided they didn't want me halfway through my incubation. What, do you think it was Umera who dropped me off?"
"I've seen weirder things happen. Show me your oversol," Neige said. "You promised me you would keep me updated." She clasped her hands together tightly, expectantly.
Cipher allowed his hands to become a blackish-grey. Soon, his wrists were covered in a red sheen and Neige told him to stop. "I always thought that was what Cero's would look like," she said in wonder. "Cipher, you could have a family. A real one. Not the one Neo Arcadia assigned you."
"I do have a real family." Cipher stood up, ignoring how hollow he sounded. "I can't do it, Neige. I'm sorry."
"Cipher," Neige said, "Think about what you're doing. You could have parents. A brother. They've been looking everywhere for you. I've been looking everywhere for you. I promised them I'd let them know if I found you."
"Well you haven't found him," Cipher said. "Sorry, but I have to go. I have to go check on Charles."
"Just promise me you'll think on it, will you?" Neige's words were uncomfortably familiar in the space of the small room.
"I will," Cipher said. "But I really have to go."
Cipher made his way outside, unsurprised when he found himself at the gate of the Forge what felt like moments later. His hands were already on Joan's contact info as he pressed 'call.' The phone rang for a bit as sounds of grating metal could be heard in the background. "Hang on," she told him. "Let me get someplace quieter. What's up?"
Cipher opened his mouth, but he found himself incapable of making sound. "You're outside," Joan said, apparently having seen his location on her communicator. "I'll be right out, okay? Stay right there."
A minute later, Joan was at the gate, her brows scrunched together in worry as she saw Cipher. "What's wrong?" She led him to a nearby bench. "Come on, talk to me. I can't help if I don't know what's going on."
"I went to Neige," Cipher said through a sob. The tears had at last come in the form of an uncontrollable, choking sob. "She thinks…" He wiped his face with his sleeve. "She thinks my family's alive."
"I see." Joan was remarkably calm about the whole thing, Cipher thought. She held his head against her chest as she sighed. "I kind of figured this would happen."
"You did?" Cipher was confused. "Did Neige tell you?"
"Nah," she said. "But when she started taking an interest in you, I kind of knew. I always suspected… She was talking about Zero and Ciel, wasn't she?"
Cipher nodded, surprised when he felt foreign tears on his face. "I'm so sorry Cipher," she said. "I think I always knew. I was just so relieved. I thought I was alone, then you showed up, this handsome and smart and kind and blonde Advent. They never said Zero's kids died and here you were, a perfect fit. I was so scared they would take you away." Her body wracked with guilt. "I was just the orphan of some washed up general and you were so brilliant. Every day I was afraid someone would see that." There was a silence. "I was afraid you would see that."
Joan looked terrified, as though she expected Cipher to scream at her, tell her what an awful friend she was. She flinched when Cipher's head rose from her chest. "Cipher?" she asked. "I'm-"
Her words were silenced as he held her close. This was Joan, he reminded himself. His oldest friend. His best friend, even if life hadn't gone the way they planned it. "I'm not angry," Cipher said. "I think I knew as well. We were both just too scared to say anything."
"You're not mad?" Joan let out a hopeful gasp.
"No," Cipher said. "You were just a kid, same as me. If the whole world couldn't see it, I don't see why you had to do something." He sighed. "But what if she's wrong, Jo? What if you are? What if I am? I can't be their son. I'm not that special."
"You are," Joan told him. "You're the most special person I've ever met. You can do all these brainy things like manage a schedule or make sure the kids drink the milk before it goes bad or make new Sliders. I know I can't do that."
"You're pretty amazing yourself," Cipher said. "Don't you dare go thinking like you're not. There's a reason why they picked you to Head the Forge. I'm still wondering why the rest of my Family isn't scarred after living with me for years."
Joan chuckled. "I guess I am pretty great. Hey," she said, "Even if by some awful coincidence you're not their son, you'd still have me. But if you are," she added, "I want autographs. I have a limited edition figurine of Zero I want signed. None of this electronic signature bull either."
"I'll get you all the autographs if that's the case," Cipher promised her. "I wonder how I'm going to explain this to the rest of the Family."
"You could just not tell them," Joan said, adding "At first" when Cipher gave her a look. "All I'm saying is, Carla's birthday is coming up and Zero would make one hell of a surprise birthday visitor."
"Matt would probably try to steal one of his weapons," Cipher mused. "Do you think Zero could handle him?"
"I dunno," Joan joked. "That boy is pretty sneaky. Hey, here's a thought: what if you let Neige do that interview with you? You could just be sitting at home, watching the news, when all of a sudden you're the headliner. I bet that would impress him."
Cipher laughed. "I could be Zero and Matt wouldn't be impressed. I'm pretty sure Shirley would die of shock though. She has one of those limited edition figurines, too. It's in mint condition, as she keeps reminding us."
"What's the use of an action figure if you don't ever use it?" Joan bemoaned. "Everyone's all about the 'in the box' models, but what happens when you buy it? Do you just stare at it forever?"
"I guess?" Cipher shrugged. "I could ask Shirley; she doesn't even let us look at it."
Joan smiled. "I guess it'd be kind of cool if you were his son. I think Cero even has an action figure modeled after him. Do you think that would extends to you? And um, maybe your friends if you ask nicely enough?"
The two of them spent the afternoon producing all the crazy scenarios in which Cipher could uncover his being Zero and Ciel's son. It was the only way they could make sense of it, Cipher figured, by making light of such an unbearably weighty situation. But that's life sometimes. Just so long as you had someone to help make sense of the train wreck it is, you'd be fine Cipher supposed. Maybe that's what family really was.
Someone who could make you laugh even when everything went wrong. And maybe, maybe they could help make it right.
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High Horoscopes | Jan. 26, 2017
The HIGH TIMES weekly astrological forecast, complete with strain recommendations!
Ask Aelie anything! Find her on Facebook and Twitter.
ARIES
Ripped from the headlines: Jetpack firefighting system showcased in Dubai! It’s called the ‘Dolphin’ and it’s exactly what you might imagine: a jet ski and a water jet pack that allows the firefighter to raise themselves up to the height of a bridge in order to douse the flames. This way they are guaranteed an endless stream of water and never to be stuck in traffic on the way to the emergency. Leave it to Dubai to come up with such an expensive solution, and one that seems only useful for the rare fires that occur right next to bodies of water. Still, there’s ingenuity at play here, which I admire. Plus I imagine the hardworking firefighters might enjoy the bit of fun it affords. This frivolous approach to solving a real problem is a cosmic example for you this week. A light-hearted take on a nasty issue might be just what you need to turn the tides. Strain recommendation: Chiquita Banana
TAURUS
Ripped from the headlines: Bullfighting returns to India! In the state of Tamil Nadu, the practice of bullfighting (a.k.a. Jallikatu) is considered part of the Tamil cultural traditions and a key element of their harvest festival. Animal rights groups appealed to the Supreme Court, which banned the sport in 2014, but recent massive protests have led the central government to overturn that decision, declaring a temporary lift on the ban. This isn’t the first time culture and social change have butted heads, especially when respect for life confronts respect for tradition. No matter your personal opinion, the lesson to be taken from this example for you, is that fighting for what you believe in can create change. This story, plus the global protests happening this past week, should hopefully be enough to finally inspire you to speak up. Strain recommendation: Snow Bud
CANCER
Ripped from the headlines: Iraqi Kurdish fashionistas create a gentleman’s gathering group called Mr. Erbil! Some 30 or so men in war torn northern Iraq are trying to change their peoples’ image and effect some social change along the way, by adopting the more modern Western hipster fashion trends, mixed with styles sported by their traditional landowning class, the effendis. Fitted coats, gloves and ties, tight pants and manicured beards are all the trend, as are shout-outs to local ladies fighting for women’s rights. Fashion and politics are strange bedfellows, though this is not the first time their pairing has been used to great advantage. Their message is spreading; the group now has over 25,000 Instagram followers. This spirited and joyful way to hype change has been chosen to inspire you to do the same; think outside of the box on how to get your mission statement out, to preach beyond the converted, to outstretch the typical haters, to reach those unlikely supporters waiting on the outskirts of your natural environment. Strain recommendation: Silver Bubble
GEMINI
Ripped from the headlines: In Wuhan, China, 19 buildings were demolished in 10 seconds using 5 tons of explosive! It’s a remarkable thing to witness on video, but the thing that really stuck out to me was that the second to last building didn’t seem to fall. Perhaps that’s why they say 19 instead of 20? It seems unbelievable that it wouldn’t topple over when surrounded by so much destruction. Perhaps it falls after the video finishes or maybe it was never meant to fall, but to me it appeared to me like that little flower that makes its way up through the cement cracks to reach sunlight on the sidewalk. This is your chosen symbol for the week, Gemini; be that little survivor, beat the odds, don’t give up. You can thrive in the midst of this soul-crushing madness. Strain recommendation: Blueberry Silvertip
LEO
Ripped from the headlines: Ants use Sun to navigate! Despite the teeny tiny, pinpoint brain size of the ant, their navigational skills are very sophisticated compared to the rest of the insect world. Apparently, no matter which way they face, they can use celestial cues to make their way home. Understanding this behavior has inspired scientists to model the neural circuits of robot systems on the ant’s brain. This all goes to show that you can find much of life’s knowledge in the natural world, even insight into man made technology. I encourage you to do the same: study your pets or the local fauna to gather some insight on tackling the human made dilemma facing you. Pay special attention to the silent cues they offer new acquaintances, there is much to be learned by the way they inform strangers exactly the way they want to be approached. Strain recommendation: Space Bomb
VIRGO
Ripped from the headlines: Russia’s rage rooms help relieve stress! Rage rooms, places where you can rent an hour’s worth of time to destroy everything within it using a sledgehammer, are popping up all over Russia. 60% of the clients are young women, some psychiatrists bring groups there, and 75% of the proceeds go to charity. Now that you know the facts, are you ready to smash some shit up? You could use a little tension reliever this week, and crushing computer monitors or throwing plates might be your way through it. If you don’t have such means, I’d suggest folding a piece of paper 6 times and then try ripping it, or maybe making a Jackson Pollack-type painting with foodstuffs. You need release and to exercise your muscles—if not, the lid might just prematurely fly off this pressure cooker. Strain recommendation: ACDC
LIBRA
Interesting historical fact: The longest war in history lasted 335 years and had no casualties, while the shortest war lasted 38 minutes and had 501 casualties. You’re not exactly fighting a war this week but you have been living through some pretty arduous times. Even though it might feel like a familiar old battle, try to remember that each experience is different and you have no idea if this bout will be long or short, damaging or not. Try to be patient with yourself. If you really embrace the idea that no two moments are the same then all the worrying and anticipating is for naught. Strain recommendation: Ewok
SCORPIO
Interesting historical fact: Kim Jong Il wrote 6 operas. It shouldn’t come as a great shock that a dictator also had artistic aspirations. He wasn’t the first and he won’t be the last. It shouldn’t be a surprise, but it actually is. We have a pervasive, irrational belief that artists are more sensitive people and therefore less likely to display cruelty. Logically there is no sense in this but we learnt it as kids so we rarely confront weird ideas like that until the universe forces us to. For example, there is no reasonable excuse for you feel unworthy of genuine love, but sometimes you struggle with it. This is another mistaken belief you adopted at a young age. Well, here’s your chance to challenge it before the cosmos force you to reckon with it. Take this hint and explore how this thought stops you from moving forward. Strain recommendation: Jr
SAGITTARIUS
Interesting historical fact: Lord Byron kept a tame bear as a pet while studying at Trinity University! The bear lived with him at his lodgings near Cambridge. Apparently, he found the ‘no dogs’ rule at school so draconian that he challenged it by bringing the bear. He won his case, and was known to walk his bear on the grounds on a leash, as if it were a dog. Take a page out of Byron’s book this week and face down any rule you find outdated and unfair. Don’t let the bureaucrats and officious managers stop you. Flaunt your modern ways before the naysayers and let them clutch their pearls if they must. ‘No more’ must be your mantra. Strain recommendation: Red Dragon
CAPRICORN
Interesting scientific fact: Outer space has a smell. It’s a mix of diesel fumes, gunpowder and barbecue! Supposedly, this comes from the fumes of dying stars. While we might imagine encountering the soundless infinity of space with a majestic awe, we, in reality, could find ourselves simply reminded of July 4th in small-town Kentucky. Our expectations are rarely correct. Even when they are surpassed, we can still experience a slight disappointment because we were so prepared for another outcome. It is time for you to finally put aside this childish behavior of creating anticipation and then being let down. There are other ways to get excited about a new person or challenge. If you allow yourself to live in the present, even a typical situation can become fresh and stimulating. Strain recommendation: Alien Wrench
AQUARIUS
Interesting historical fact: In 1912, a Parisian orphanage held a fundraising lottery and the prizes were live babies! Sounds horrible, but considering that otherwise they would have been doomed to a dire existence in a dilapidated state-run children’s home or left to care for themselves on the streets, a give-away to wanting parents might not be such a bad idea. It’s all about context. Are you seeing yourself in context? Try, if you can, to identify yourself in an imagined crowd of your colleagues: where do you stand in relation to them? Are you the king of the castle or the dirty rascal? Getting some outside perspective could be useful now. If you are surprised by how far ahead you are, will you ease up on the self-battery? If you are further behind, will you be motivated and not discouraged? The cosmos urge you to stay positive, no matter where you find yourself situated. Strain recommendation: Obama Kush
PISCES
Interesting scientific fact: Some cats are allergic to humans! Sadly, they can’t tell us that our mere presence makes them ill. We adopt them, keep them in our homes, and cuddle them constantly: all the while they are sneezing their furry little faces off. Someone in your life is making loving them difficult. Similar to these poor cats, you are a bit trapped in their life, so avoiding them isn’t an option. You do have genuine affection for this person but these itchy feelings of displeasure and coughs of irritability won’t go away unless you find a remedy. Try connecting to other similarly afflicted folk. You’ll discover you aren’t the only one being driven up the wall here, and maybe a combined effort of compassionate group pop-psychologizing might help this person to reduce their allergen producing ways. Strain recommendation: Space Queen
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