#i spent 3 hours in a blacked out state only fueled by the mental image of scar being a 書生 (roughly translates to scholar i think) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

latte-fairytaekwoon · 3 years

Text

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝙷𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚓𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, encouraging, justifying, promoting nor romanticizing yandere behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, stalking, murder, kidnapping, torture, mental manipulation, use of LSD, physical violence, mind breaking, sexual scenes and other yandere behavior. Read at your own discretion.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝙷𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚓𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟽𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟾

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟸 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟾 𝙵𝚃.

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□90%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚛

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

𝙴𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚢/𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 .

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚞𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎.

𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 '𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝' 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚍𝚜 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He was a lost and wandering soul when it happened.

It wasn't that he was depressed or unsatisfied with his life.

But for the longest time he felt....empty.

As if he was carrying a void that couldn't be filled.

Not even his favorite hobbies gave him joy any longer.

It was as if he was either tapping out tunes on the piano or splattering colors on articles of clothing.

They had no meaning whatsoever anymore.

Live no longer felt to have any more meaning to him.

He felt like he was merely an empty shell, just going through life but never actually living.

Coming out of an arts and crafts store, his hands were full of all sorts of acrylics and watercolors he had just bought.

A passing cyclist didn't see him and didn't really care as he slightly collided with Hongjoong.

Letting out a big "oof!" he stumbled onto the pavement underneath him, all his materials flying out.

Although he wasn't hurt much, he still let out a groan and tried to get up.

He was startled when a gentle hand reached out towards him, lending him some help.

Looking up, his heart somersaulted as he stared at the kind and beautiful stranger that was offering him assistance.

"Are you all right?" Her eyes were full of concern and tenderness for him.

Hongjoong forgot how to speak in that moment, too amazed and stunned by the beauty standing right in front of him.

Nevertheless he did take her hand, his body trembling nervously as soon as he had the first physical contact with her.

The woman shook her head as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Seriously, what a jerk. Can't believe some people honestly."

Hongjoong still didn't respond, instead he shyly began picking up some of the stuff that had fallen.

"Let me help you." She offered her help once more.

Of course she was faster and picked up most of the stuff because he had a huge scrape on his knee and he was limping slightly.

"Thank....thank you." His voice was barely above a whisper as he took the stuff away from her.

"You're welcome. Would you like me to help you carry them to your car?"

Waving his hand he adamantly denied her offer, assuring her over and over again that he was all right.

Before he could leave, the girl extended her hand once again.

"I'm Y/N by the way. Nice to meet you."

"Y/N...."

Her name repeated itself over and over again in his head even hours after she had left him.

Even as he layed in his bed and stared blankly at the ceiling, he couldn't keep the softest smile off his face.

He didn't know if he had drifted off to sleep or was zoning in and out of a lucid dream, but all he could think about was her.

He was up as soon as the sun rose up, flinging his blanket across the room as he ran to his desk and took out his sketchpad.

Right away, he began to outline her face, wanting the vivid image of her to stay with him should his mind ever dare to erase her from his memory.

Although he was satisfied with the ending result, it was still not enough for him.

He felt his goddess, his newfound muse needed more justice than just pencil to capture her beauty.

Watercolors, acrylics, oil pastels and even ink, there wasn't any art material that Hongjoong didn't use to create a portrait of Y/N.

Soon his studio was filled and covered with paintings of her and he couldn't be happier...

Until he realized how much he'd rather have the real thing right there in person with him, in his arms, holding her and never letting go.

He almost fell into a depressive state again, dreading the fact that he'd never see his beloved muse ever again......

Until he saw her once again, walking across the street from the cafe he was in.

He quickly sprung out of his seat and ran out the door, eager to see her once again and hopefully talk to her more.

Just as he was about to call out to her, he stopped when a male came up to her, hugging her ever so intimately and ruffling her hair.

Hongjoong's hand tightened into a fist, nails digging into his skin as his eyes burning with anger and jealousy.

"She's my treasure, I found her and I won't let anyone else take her from me."

Making sure they were unaware of his looming presence, he stalked them out, trying to find the perfect opportunity to strike.

They seemed to be going on some sort of date, which only fueled his anger.

Finally, after they both went their separate ways, Hongjoong followed the mysterious man home, not letting his chance escape.

As soon as the man parked in his driveway and got out of the car, Hongjoong cornered him.

Using his belt as a makeshift weapon, he wrapped it around the man's throat, tightening it until he cut off his air flow.

Although he put up quite a struggle, Hongjoong was so full of anger and rage that he kept him strangled until his body stopped writhing and layed cold on his feet.

Taking his keys, Hongjoong decided to go inside the house to see if he could find anymore information about his precious treasure, figure out where she lived and what not.

Finding a cabinet full of documents, not only did Hongjoong found her address but also ended up discovering the man he just killed was actually her brother, and not a lover as he believed him to be.

"Oh well. Mistakes happen." He justified himself.

"Besides, he still would have been an obstacle and might have come between us."

A week later and now he was waiting for her inside her house, not having any difficulty in breaking in.

His eyes would anxiously look at the time, waiting for her to come home from work like she would usually do at that time.

When he heard her car come up in the driveway, he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

Y/N walked into her house as usual, throwing her bag onto the couch.

As she was about to turn on the light, she felt a hard blow to her head, knocking her to the ground, her vision suddenly turning black.

When she awoke, she was beyond startled by all the countless portraits and clay figurines modeled after her.

Her eyes scanned the entire room, somewhat frightened by all the countless images of her staring back at her.

She was so bewildered by the scene that she didn't hear the door open and didn't see the person who came in until she was jolting out of her seat when a hand placed itself on her shoulder.

When she turned around and saw who it was that was smiling at her, she couldn't believe her eyes.

"You......you're...you're..."

Hongjoong nodded. "Yes my darling. I'm the man you helped out a month ago. Which, by the way I'm still grateful for."

Cupping her chin with his fingers, he leaned in to give her a kiss but she backed away, which made him frown.

"Hey, it's not very nice to reject someone's offer of gratitude darling. Did they not teach you manners at home?"

When he reached out to touch her once again, she smacked his hand away, moving as far away from him as possible.

Although it didn't really hurt him, Hongjoong was disappointed that his beloved muse could actually strike at him.

"This isn't what I imagined or expected from you love. You're supposed to be gentle, serene, obedient and just outright perfect.... like the pictures surrounding you.."

Y/N put her hands above her face when he crept closer to her once more, but Hongjoong, who was deceivingly strong for his body built, quickly took hold of them and uncovered her face.

"But that's ok.......if a small lump of clay can be easily molded into a beautiful vase, I'm sure I can mold you to perfection."

Y/N shuddered at his words, and tried to writhe her way out of his grasp as he pulled her out into the hallway and dragged her down into what she assumed was his basement.

Using his strength to overpower her, he easily strapped her down into one of the chairs he kept there, binding her legs and hands down.

"I suggest you start familiarizing yourself with this place Y/N. This...."

With an eerily calm and somewhat sadistic smile, Hongjoong extended his arms to gesture around the room.

"Is where your training begins."

7 months.......for 7 excruciating months, Y/N had been kept in Hongjoong's house, 3 of which were spent inside his room of horrors.

She still didn't understand how she came out of there alive and in one piece.

There wasn't a single night where she didn't relive the torture she went through.

Slapping, canning, limbs stretched out til they were almost out of their sockets, head submerged in water til she nearly passed out.

One time she had resisted so much and pissed Hongjoong off extremely by slapping him that he strapped her hand down and smashed her fingers one by one, breaking them entirely.

Of course, although he helped her heal them as he did her other wounds because he didn't want permanent physical damage on his treasure.

It'd only serve to ruin and taint her perfect image.

But the worst for Y/N wasn't going through all the physical torture.....

Her worst nightmare was all the times Hongjoong dosed her on LSD, prompting her to start hallucinating horrible scenarios.

Her mind seemed to weaken with every dosage he gave her, it would slowly eat away every last bit of her sanity.

Which might explain why now she tried to be more obedient and pliant towards Hongjoong, doing everything as he said and exactly how he wanted her to.

Although occasionally she would still step out of line, he'd shoot her a glare and warn her about it.

"Do you want to go back down there? Did I not give you sufficient training?"

At the sole mention of being taken back downstairs, she'd immediately remember herself and portray the illusion he wanted.

Hongjoong seemed thrilled to finally have created the perfect model, his beautiful creation came to life.

He was absolutely head over heels for his lovely goddess, she was beyond perfect and ethereal.

Sure she still had a little bit of stubbornness in her, but that was easily fixed and she'd be his perfect little doll once more.

And he loved praising her and reminding her about it, especially when they were intimate.

"See love? I knew you would come to love me." He whispered softly in her ear, a low moan escaping his lips as he moved inside of her.

Kissing the sides of her neck, he panted softly as he came inside her.

"My beautiful and perfect goddess."

Months turned to over a year and although Y/N still played the part of a loving and perfect soulmate, she didn't know how long she could take it anymore.

Perhaps it was being locked up for so long, perhaps it was the fear Hongjoong instilled in her. Maybe she was tired from playing a role she couldn't keep up with anymore.

All that combined with the fact she was now pregnant with Hongjoong's child, her hormones going crazy and her mind worrying about what her future would be like had her ready to snap.

One particular day, she just about had it.

Hongjoong had been smothering her all day, constantly nagging about taking care of herself and not harm the baby.

Her blood was boiling with rage as he kept pestering her about it over dinner.

Having had enough, she got out of her seat and reached for the nearest kitchen knife and pointed it at her stomach.

"Why don't I just rip out the baby out then? Maybe then you'll be satisfied."

Hongjoong immediately got up and tried to take the knife away from her.

"Y/N! Have you lost your mind?!" He exclaimed.

"If I lost my mind it's all thanks to you!"

Even after Hongjoong managed to toss the knife out of her hands, Y/N still continued to struggle and smack her hands at him, beating at his chest as hard as she could.

"I hate you!" She declared before her fist tried to collide with his face, but Hongjoong being faster than her, stopped it from hitting him.

Outraged that his model was breaking down, he picked her up, not caring about her being pregnant and stomped his way back to the training room.

Y/N was already bursting into tears when he began strapping her down into the chair, protesting about it.

"You'll hurt our child you mon-."

Gripping her throat tightly, he cut her off from finishing that sentence.

"This coming from the one threatening to rip the innocent baby out herself. But don't worry, I'll make sure no harm comes to our child."

Letting go of her neck, he quickly took out a familiar vial and needle out of a cabinet.

Although Y/N tried to get away, it was no use as she was once again tied up and the sting of the fluids shooting up her veins, making her dizzy immediately.

Hongjoong only watched with a blank face as the drugs started to take effect.

Going back to the cabinet, he took out a folder and walked back to Y/N with it.

"Now.... I never planned to show you this, but I guess you left me no choice."

Even in her hazy state, Y/N could make out what seemed to be a picture of her brother, but she wasn't sure if it was an illusion or not

"Yes, that is your brother indeed. Took care of you when your parents died and you were very attached to him. Your only living relative right?.....or is he?"

Pulling out another picture, Hongjoong made sure to hold it up right in her face so she could clearly see the gruesome image.

"This is how I left him after I attacked him one night. You'll be proud, he put up quite a good fight, but as you can see......in the end he still lost." He actually had the audacity to chuckle as if it was an amusing thing.

Y/N wanted to scream, but her body wouldn't allow it.

She couldn't believe that her remaining family, the only hope she could grasp onto and help get her out of the mess....

Was gone, forever vanished from the face of the earth by the same monster who took her away.

She no longer had the physical, mental nor emotional strength to resist and fight anymore.

She allowed her body to succumb to the effects of the drugs, eyes closing as she fell into a deep sleep full of haunting memories and images.

When she awoke hours later, she felt absolutely nothing, only numbness.

Gently stroking her hair, Hongjoong leaned in and scanned her expressionless face, satisfied when she just allowed him to pet her as he pleased, no longer resisting his touch.

"Do you know who you are?" He simply asked her.

Without even so much as blinking, she answered in a monotone, almost robotic voice:

"I'm your soulmate, your muse and your goddess, and I love no one but you."

Hongjoong nearly bursted into tears. Finally after so long, after so many experiments and efforts, he finally created his ultimate masterpiece.

"Perfect......at last...you're absolutely perfect.

268 notes · View notes

imaginingmarvelandeverything · 5 years

Text

Where are You?

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Warnings: Language, spoilers for season 3

Word Count: 2316

A/N: So, here is part 13 of Nightmares and Bruises. Sorry, it’s taken a while, it’s been a very busy week. This part jumps back and forth quite a bit so, just a heads up. The taglist is open so drop me an ask or a comment! I won’t reply to comments because this is a side blog but know that I see and read them all. I am slowly working my way through the requests in my inbox but I have a lot do it’s going to take a while to work through them all.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Y/N glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall as she walked into the house. Five-thirty A.M. She groaned and dropped her bag onto the island. Everyone would still be in bed for at least another hour. She was about to head upstairs and try and catch a few hours of sleep when a piece of paper on the fridge caught her eye. She pulled it down and skimmed over the words.

Hey Y/N,

Hope you didn’t get home too late. I’ve had to run up to your Grandma’s. She’s fine but she had a fall and just needs some help for the next week or so. I’ve left some money upstairs for food and I’ll call to check in tomorrow around midday.

Mom xx

Fuck. Y/N lent her head onto the fridge. One of the few people that could help with this and she wasn’t even here. Y/N glanced towards the phone and considered calling but she didn’t want her grandma on her own, unable to do things for herself. She screwed her eyes shut. Why couldn’t they just live their lives in peace? Why did something always have to come back to haunt them? It wasn’t fair.

She screwed the note up and tossed it into the bin before climbing the stairs. She decided she would have a shower and then try to get some sleep. She made a mental note to set her alarm for nine at the latest as she grabbed some painkillers from the bathroom and swallowed them dry. She pulled her clothes off, with difficulty, and secured the bag the hospital had given her around the cast to stop it getting wet. She jumped in the shower and cleaned herself off as well as she could with only one arm. She regretted sending Billy home, she could have done with some help.

She dried off and wrapped herself in a towel. She briefly blow dried her hair so that it wasn’t dripping wet before walking into her bedroom. The early morning sun was already illuminating the room and the temperature had already started to climb out of the comfortable range. She closed her curtains before pulling on some pyjamas (one of Billy’s shirts and some shorts) and collapsed under the covers. She fell straight to sleep, her alarm clock forgotten.

__________________________________________________

Billy thanked whoever was watching over him that his dad had an early morning shift and had already left when he pulled the car up in front of the house. He walked straight through the house into the bathroom and glanced at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit and that was being kind. His hair was matted and he was completely covered in dirt and grime from head to toe. He rested his hands on either side of the sink and closed his eyes. That creature was all he could see so he snapped them open again.

He practically ripped off his clothes and dumped them into the laundry basket before turning the shower on. He set it to his usual temperature and let it run for a minute before climbing in.

He hissed and stepped out of the stream as the water seemed to scald him. He glanced down at the temperature gauge and saw that it hadn’t moved from where he had set the previous night. He knitted his eyebrows together as he reached out and turned it down. He dismissed it and put it down to the heat outside and the mild concussion the doctor told him he had. The colder temperature felt much better.

It’s better cold.

The words seemed to just appear in his mind fully formed, as if they had been spoken to him. He almost dropped the shower gel he was holding. He shook his head and once again blamed it on the concussion.

As soon as the grime was gone, he jumped out and dried off. He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked into his room. The exhaustion had finally caught up with him and he just collapsed onto his bed. He was out like a light.

_________________________________________________

Y/N was woken by the shrill tones of the phone ringing through the house. She groaned and buried her head further into her pillow. She was starting to drop back off to sleep when she recalled her mother’s note: I’ll call to check in tomorrow around midday. She sat bolt upright and immediately regretted it as her head throbbed painfully. She glanced at the clock and swore as she saw the time. One o’clock. In the afternoon. She had forgotten to set her alarm.

She stumbled out of bed, down the hall and practically ripped the phone off the stand. “Hello?”

“Hey, you and Billy have a good night?” Her mom’s voice came down the line.

“Yeah, it was… alright.” Y/N knew she would probably regret the lies she was telling later but she didn’t know what else to do.

“Good, look I’ll be back next week at some point, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Okay, if you need anything just ask Joyce or Hopper. I’ve already called and told them I’m out of town so they might call to check in.”

God, I hope they do, Y/N thought. “Yeah, mom, that’s fine.”

“Okay, I’ll call again soon. Don’t get into too much trouble.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Y/N gritted her teeth. “See you soon.”

“Bye!”

The line went dead and Y/N leaned her head back against the wall and screwed her eyes shut. Her head was pounding and there was a dull ache all through her left arm. The cast was starting to get itchy but she didn’t have time to worry about that. She pushed off the wall and walked back into her room. She got dressed into some plain shorts and one of Billy’s t-shirts before walking downstairs. Hey eyes drifted to the set of keys hanging in the kitchen. The set of keys that hadn’t been touched since her dad had died. The keys to the dark grey 1969 Ford Mustang that was sitting untouched in the garage. It had been her dad’s pride and joy. He had spent years fixing it up from the state it had been in when he brought it. He only ever drove it on special occasions so she didn’t even know if there would be fuel in the tank. She recalled the look on Billy’s face when he had first seen it sitting in the garage and the way he had practically begged her to let him take it out for a spin. She had denied him based on the fact that her mom would kill her if they got so much as a scratch on the car.

Y/N thought, given the circumstances, she would risk her mother’s wrath. She grabbed the keys off the rack and prayed that there was enough fuel in the tank to at least get her to the gas station. Then she could find Hopper or Joyce and tell Billy everything.

_____________________________________________

Billy should have listened to Y/N. He was beginning to think that was the only advice he should ever follow. He had gone to work, even though she told him not too. He was only feeling a little off when he woke up so he thought he might as well go in and get some money. Now, he felt as though he was tripping the worst high of his life. He barely made it up into the lifeguard’s chair. The sun seemed to be beating down with such ferocity that he felt like his entire body was on fire. To make it even worse, his mind kept flashing back to what had happened in that basement. He had convinced himself it was a hallucination but the images kept repeating in his mind.

The heat became too much and he suddenly felt his elbow burning. He looked down and there was a large welt appearing. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion and practically fell out of the lifeguard’s chair. His head was spinning and it took all of his concentration to put one foot in front of the other and head in the direction of the locker room. He slammed into somebody and sent an ice cooler spilling to the floor, ice and drinks went everywhere. He stumbled but regained his footing and started walking again.

“Billy? Are you okay?” Heather’s voice seemed muted and wrong in his ears.

He made it to the showers and ripped the shower curtain back before slamming the dial as cold as it would go. He braced his hands against the back of the shower as the water ran over him. His breathing was erratic but the water was finally beginning to give him some relief. That was, until he caught sight of his arm.

Black lines were crossing across his skin, coming from the burn on his elbow. “What?” He muttered to himself as he moved his other hand to touch the lines. An image shot through his head. A creature made of shadows illuminated by the same red flashes he had seen on the road last night. With the image came a sharp pain in his skull and he couldn’t help the scream that tore from his throat. Everything seemed to get too load and he pushed his hands over his ears as he sank to the floor, the water still running.

“Billy?” Heather’s voice seemed to cut through the noise and he moved his hands to the floor to steady himself.

Heather walked in front of the shower and slowly lowered herself to her knees. There was worry written all over her face. His screams had cut through her and she didn’t know what to do. “Billy? Take me to him.”

“What?” Billy shifted backwards slightly.

“I said are you hurt? What’s going on? I heard screaming. Should I call an ambulance? Or Y/N? Billy?” His unresponsiveness was worrying her.

Billy felt something move inside his mind. Something that he could tell wanted to hurt Heather. He dug his fingers into his knee as he tried to fight whatever it was. But it was too strong and he lost the fight. Heather barely had time to scream before he had launched forward and wrapped his hand around her throat.

_________________________________________

Y/N slammed her head back into the head rest as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. She couldn’t find anyone. Joyce wasn’t at work but she also wasn’t at home. Hopper had been dealing with some stuff at the mayor’s office when she went to the station but, by the time she got there, he was gone. Then the station told her he had left early because he was going out to dinner and needed to get ready. She checked the cabin but not even Eleven was there. Then she went to her backup plan and went to the Wheeler’s but Karen told her that Nancy was at work. The newspaper told her that Nancy and Jonathan had left early for ‘girl problems’ which Y/N didn’t believe for a moment. So, she drove to the Byers’ for a second time, but once again, no one was there. The mall would be closed by this time so she drove to Steve’s house but his car wasn’t in the drive so she didn’t even bother knocking.

She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t help but wonder if the reason she couldn’t find anyone was tied to what had occurred the previous evening. The tears ran down her cheeks freely as she sat in the road outside Steve’s house. It was getting late now and her head was throbbing again. Her arm ached as she pushed the car into drive again and set off to Billy’s house. She knew he would be worried sick given that she promised she would see him as soon as she could and that had ended up being dusk.

She felt the pit in her stomach deepen when she pulled the car up in front of the Hargrove residence and the Camaro was missing from its usual spot. Neil’s car was missing which meant that she could go up to the front door without fear of him being the one to open it. It was Susan who answered.

“Hi, Y/N.” Susan’s soft voice caught as she took in the teenager’s appearance. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, is Billy here?” Y/N already knew the answer but she had to check.

“No, I haven’t seen him all day. He was still in bed when I left this morning.” Susan glanced up and down the road. “Do you want to come in for some tea?”

“Thank you but I’ve got to get going. My mom will worry if I’m gone too long.” Y/N lied through her teeth. “Do you have any idea he is?”

“No, sorry. But I will get him to call you if he shows up.” Susan smiled softly.

“Thank you. Bye.”

“Bye.” Susan shut the door as Y/N walked back to the car.

She hit her right hand against the steering wheel as more tears fell. She pulled off and headed home. “Billy, where are you?”

Part 14

Tags: @assholeheartthrob @httperrornicole @ambeazyyy @princess-huffy @gemgemswift @colie87 @iris-suoh @sydneynix8305 @peter-pan-hoe @p0wderedtoast @not-a-glad-gladiator @fangirlinganditswonders @endgameendsme @lazinesstookovermylife @lilac–dreams @anon-1112 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @wickedlovely121 @lightlysweetened @scarecrowsragdoll @bilesxbilinskixlahey @moonstruckhargrove @krazykatkay456 @thecraziestcrayon @moonchild1507 @tah0e @tony-stank3 @allie-mcginn @supernatural-girl97 @hi-my-name-is-riley @ria132love @t-swizzle-owns-me @sabrinasturtlenecks @meliv99 @jamesvaldezzzz @thatfrenchperson @cynthianokamaria @avnngrs @studysimsx @emmaquarius @stevieboyharrington @eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @ofwisdomandwar @eternal-l-appel-du-vide @evelynfreakinaddams @bish-ima-clown @noodlenerd101 @jakesmysterio @playboygeniusphilanthropist @itsfangirlmendes @pinkrosezx @ladylannisterxo @steveharrigntons @bookmarkofglitter @alina-margaret @labyrinth-of-thoughts @helen-of-troi @ninjathrowingstork @requestedmemory @believerofall @thefandomzoneisdangerous @esteroni @deepmilkshakecoffee @somethingdawn @brandi1936 @universefinds @huang-the-geek @silver-winter-wolf @longliphoney @absolute-randomness-forever @littlepsychos-world @octavia05 @escaping-reality21 @httpakasha @dmv49 @lyricfreaks @helena-way07 @katiexdacre @fangirlbitch02 @lo-bells @slytherinrising @i-am-a-smol-sweet-potato @imjusthereforsupernatural @lokis-butter-knife @banannie25 @itsanallygator @justabeautiful-letdown @calumsfringe @jakeblck @sunshine-and-riverwater @wickedpr1ncess

#Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery imagine #stranger things #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #jim hopper #steve harrington #Nancy Wheeler #jonathan byers #imagine #x reader #nightmares and bruises #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader

482 notes · View notes

thehealherdiaries-blog · 6 years

Photo

GUEST HealHER 3 I Tried to Sleep It Away.... Depression has so many silent symptoms that you don’t recognize that you’re depressed until it’s too late. One of those silent symptoms is excessive sleeping. For those who have known me for years, you know how sleep ranked in my life. Between adolescence and adulthood, I’d say 80% of that time was spent in bed. It still amazes me to this day how some people from Bowie State University say they remember me when my daily routine was to go back to my dorm, throw on my sweats, throw on a movie, and sleep until I felt the need to wake up, eat, and do it all again for the four years I was on campus. Because I did it so often, I thought this was my normal. I mean, who doesn’t get tired from the daily tasks of life? But typically in those moments, a quick power nap would do the trick. Not so much in my case. If I was sleep, it was guaranteed that it would be for hours at a time and still be able to sleep through the night. Being awake was a burdening chore. After mustering up the strength to appear okay in front of family, friends, classmates, coworkers, and pretty much the world, I was left drained on a daily basis. Disguising deep-seated sadness you’ve carried throughout your life from childhood (i.e.- parent’s divorce, father’s bipolar disorder, mother’s depression, loneliness, anxiety, etc.) through a sham of smiles, exaggerated exceptionalism, deflecting sarcasm, and all other forms of feel-good forgery is tiring. So I used sleep to cope. I used sleep to escape. For years I justified this practice of sorts as a means of helping to “fuel my creativity” through my dreams. There were times that this was true; when I did dream of something and I immediately went to go write about it when I awakened. But after a while, I stopped writing. I stopped creating. I found more comfort in darkness than my dreams. It was not until fairly recently when I saw the warning signs that something was off. The pressures of the PhD work/life balance got me from the gate. It was only through the grace of God that I made it that year with both my new job and school status barely in tact. Adding a few other life adjustments (i.e.- moving into my own apartment by myself for the first time, gaining/losing friends, trying to love people with a broken heart, etc.), I stayed true to the only coping method I knew of at the time. In hindsight, I notice now it was not so much the fact that I was sleeping that was the problem, but what I was doing to myself to get there. Increasing my drinking for the sole purpose of falling asleep was a typical approach for a year or two. Whole weekends would pass where I would be in the bed with no desire to get up and do anything. Had it not been for my neophyte who stayed with me for a short time, there may have been moments where I didn’t eat. When I turned about 27, I cut back on the sleep/drink approach because I started to hate the hangovers. They can be a bitch to deal with on top of dragging yourself out of bed to go to school or work. As a substitute, I would take Benadryl or some antihistamine from time to time to sleep. While there were no hangovers, there were still effects. My sleep-a-thons were spilling over from my weekends to the work week. There were times I would not show up for class or called out of work. I would often do this particularly on days when I woke up with tears in my eyes because I had to endure yet another day. I stopped taking Benadryl after reading about the adverse effects that it had on continued use. I got a little better at going to class and showing up to work, but often with a kind of sadness in my smile I was just existing through life, not living it. It was at 30 when I discovered Zzquil. On the package, it usually says that Zzquil is non-habit forming. It’s kind of true in a sense, I guess. It wasn’t so much the drug itself I craved (because I generally hate grape-flavored anything), but what it did. I wasn’t taking it to get a better night’s sleep every other night for months at a time. I was taking it to escape. Life was too much to deal with some days, so this was my way out of it. I really was no different than addicts who used synthetic drugs to “take them to another world,” but it didn’t look that way. Who ever heard of a sleep addiction? That’s silly, right? My wake up call (no pun intended) came at 31. One day I was taking my shot of Zzquil (like in an actual shot glass) and beside me was a bottle of Hennessey White I got from a friend who went to the islands. After I took the shot and started to go to sleep, I stared at the bottle and contemplated whether I should take an additional shot of it to really do the job. After toying with the idea for five minutes, the little logic left in my mind screamed, “What the fuck are you thinking, Ashley?” Had it come to this? Grant it, not much may have happened if I tried it one night but who knew what tomorrow could bring? In a span of 5 years, I went from alcohol, to Benadryl, and now to Zzquil to fuel my sleep habit. Who’s to say I wouldn’t revisit this idea but next time with Ambien? Again, what the fucking fuck, Ashley? When I woke up the next day, I decided I needed to be more honest with my mental health than I had been, which is tough when you’ve watched a parent you loved spiral out of control with theirs as a child. In a strange sense, I felt I had to hide my sadness. I was taught to do so because if I didn’t, I would get the same treatment as my father did (which is a whole ‘nutha story for a’nutha day). So what I couldn’t hide behind my sullen smile, I hid in my slumber. I thought that if I did nothing, I was doing something. What a twisted logic we have with that. But when I finally came face-to-face with my reality, I saw my truth. I was not okay and had not been for decades. But it wasn’t the fact that I was not okay that was the problem; it was the lack of action that was. And I think that’s what’s missing from the conversation regarding Black mental health. We have to be honest with our true selves and take a good, hard look at the things that keep us away from them. For me it was sleep. For someone else, it could be work. For someone else, addiction. And there are a myriad of other vices we use to keep are real selves at bay while upholding these false images for the public. Today, I can honestly say I’m doing better than I was. I have a great therapist I talk to once a week and I’ve found better ways to cope with life outside of self medicating myself to sleep. I do have my moments, but not nearly as severe as before. The road certainly has not been easy. I’ve lost friends being open about my struggle, but I’ve also gained some new ones on the same journey I am. To those who have a similar story to mine, I encourage you. I see you. You can take the first step, just like I have. Don’t wait until you’re life has fallen completely apart to get your shit together.

#CranesInTheSky #Solange #Depression #SuicideAwareness

2 notes · View notes

healthandfitnessrecipes-blog · 6 years

Text

Fact: 1 in 5 Australians Are Diagnosed With A Mental Illness Each Year

https://healthandfitnessrecipes.com/?p=4873

We live in a health-conscious world where nut milks have replaced dairy, cauliflower has replaced rice and stevia has become the new sugar. We’re quick to try diets like keto, turn vegan in a second and don’t think twice about intermittent fasting. More and more Saturdays are spent doing coastal walks, sipping on green juices and smashing out HIIT classes—all in the name of health and wellness.

While that’s all well and good, mental health continues to be a serious issue here in Australia, and if there’s one thing that’s just as important as making your physical state of being a priority, it’s looking after your mental state of mind—which, as we see here, both go hand in hand.

Image: iStock

“The most recent studies have shown that 1 in 5 Australians will have a diagnosable mental illness every year,” explains Lysn psychologist, Breanna Jayne Sada. “That’s 20% of the population, or if you have a group of five friends, at least one of you every year would meet the criteria for a mental illness diagnosis.”

“The most common mental illness would be some sort of anxiety disorder. Following this is depressive or mood disorders such as depression or bipolar.”

Sadly, the rate of mental illness in Australia is on the rise in both men and women, but the good news is that, according to Breanna Jayne Sada, we as a nation are getting better at talking about mental health.

“I still think we have a long way to go when it comes to removing the stigma and stereotypes about mental illness and help-seeking,” she says. “The fact that it can happen to any one of us means that it needs to be an open, ongoing discussion.”

The Black Dog Institute states that: “Every day, at least six Australians die from suicide and a further thirty people will attempt to take their own life.”

In reflection of this alarming and scary statistic, gym chain Anytime Fitness has partnered up with Suicide Prevention Australia for the country’s largest ever suicide prevention community challenge, Tread Together (a 24-hour treadmill challenge).

Who’s with us? We are getting ready for The Suicide Prevention 24hr Treadmil challenge…. 15min blocks to walk, skip, dance, sprint, go for 24 hours if you feel the love… or even just donate to show some support… Some people don’t know I’m a suicide survivor… I believe the reason I’m still here is to help others overcome and succeed at what ever it is they want out of life… Sometimes we put on a brave face when all we need is someone to talk to. It’s not easy sometimes but starting that conversation could save a life… Help us at @anytimefitnessaustralia make a difference. Link is in my BIO… Thank you for your support #TREADTOGETHER

A post shared by Daniel Conn (@dan_dc_conn) on May 6, 2018 at 3:08pm PDT

Heading the initiative is Wellness Director at Anytime Fitness, Dan Conn who has openly and honestly spoken about his own struggles with depression.

“With one life lost every three hours to suicide, it’s more important than ever to get involved in raising awareness and breaking down stigma,” says Dan. “We know that exercise and physical activity have a positive impact on people’s mental health, so this is the perfect way to get your endorphins pumping while raising funds for a very worthwhile cause.”

Dan believes that focusing on eating right and exercising has played a huge part in his own long-term battle and recovery. Not only that, he believes that the power of basic fitness and nutrition is underestimated when it comes to the treatment and management of mental health overall.

There are numerous studies that show a direct link between physical activity and lower cases of depression and in line with this, Breanna Jayne Sada says taking care of your body is one of the most effective things that can be done in looking after your mindset.

Image: iStock

“Exercising, sleeping well and eating the right foods can help to keep your mental health in check. It’s important to fuel your body with nutritious foods, as many people don’t realise that food can actually affect our brains and mood. Be mindful what you’re putting into your body, ensure you’re getting enough sleep and exercise regularly because it releases feel good endorphins.”

“The more I study and research the scientific effect on the brain that movement and the food we eat has, the more it has made me want to pass on what I’ve been taught,” Dan tells Sporteluxe.

“Balancing all aspects of wellness is a tough gig, we all feel that life throws things at us. Just focusing on the basics has always been what’s super important. Keep moving, eat clean and healthy and seek out the positive side to what’s ahead for you.”

Want to get involved? Check out the event details below!

What: Tread Together, 24-hour fundraiser at Anytime Fitness for Suicide Prevention Australia

When: Friday, May 25th

Where: Over 270 Anytime Fitness gyms nationwide

What: Members and non-members pre-register to be sponsored to run (or walk, or dance) on a treadmill for as little as 15 minutes, or for any length of time – all the way up to a full 24 hours on a treadmill at their local Anytime Fitness. The event simultaneously kicks off at 3pm on Friday 25th and ends on Saturday 26th.

With the overall goal of raising $500,000 by the end of the 24-hours, the treadmill challenge aims to raise much-needed funds for Suicide Prevention Australia and the National Suicide Prevention Research Fund.

To register, or see the full list of participating clubs, go to treadtogether.org.au

The post Fact: 1 in 5 Australians Are Diagnosed With A Mental Illness Each Year appeared first on Sporteluxe Australia.

Credits: Original Content Source

0 notes