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mlobsters · 8 months

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supernatural s9e1 i think i'm gonna like it here (w. jeremy carver)

can only use it sparingly but i do love a good shot gone slowly tilted to show things being Off (twilight new moon had a good one, when edward dumped bella in the woods). i think when it hits the right spot for me, it gives me that emotional physical vertigo

when i was watching s2e13 houses of the holy, instead of dumping my brain output here i was to a person and said this

nic 03/29/2023 10:41 AM his reaction to sam saying he does pray, it was like the world shifted beneath his feet and i felt tilted along with it and why does this show keep doing this to me

s2e13 houses of the holy (w. sera gamble, d. kim manners)

and going back to watch this scene even before he says it, i feel a little unbalanced because of this weird perspective they're shooting. sam's up even taller than usual on the steps, we're looking way down at dean and way up at sam. and then up at them from way down at the ground level. anyway, as the seasons have progressed, they seem to generally be a little less creative in filming, but this sam's in a coma dream or whatever had a moment

(stalling. i was not in a great mindset last night and seeing sam in the hospital bed i couldn't deal and skipped watching for the night so)

suspension of disbelief shattered and i wanna yell NO fuck you we're not bringing religion into this conversation as the medical professional. i know it's like oh but the implications and layers of meaning for dean to hear this right now but i'm just like 🔪🔪🔪 i've been there with a fairly rapidly dying of cancer parent in the hospital. just. no.

DEAN You're a doctor. You're a medical professional. You're trying to tell me that my brother's life is in God's hands? What, is that supposed to be a – a comfort? DOCTOR Mr. Dougherty – DEAN No, God has nothing to do with this equation at all. DOCTOR I didn't mean – DEAN That's not good enough.

lol well for somewhat related and somewhat not related reasons, dean and i are on the same page apparently

DEAN Cas, are you there? Sammy's hurt. He's hurt, uh – he's hurt pretty bad. And, um... I know you think that I'm pissed at you, okay? But I don't care that the angels fell. So whatever you did or didn't do, it doesn't matter, okay? We'll work it out. Please, man, I need you here. DEAN Screw it. Okay, listen up. This one goes out to any angel with their ears on. This is Dean Winchester... And I need your help.

think i know sorta where this is going. i did avoid more plot specific fics around this time period so i don't know much.

also contemplating when the angels fell did they all go into vessels? with consent?

HAEL Then you've heard them – our brothers and sisters, many still circling for vessels, most just… so afraid.

thanks for clarifying, show

dean in line to get murdered by grumpy angels because he was so desperate he put out an open call and cas is gonna go roadtripping with the pretty angel lady to the grand canyon. priorities!

this ezekial dude saying still believes the mission, cas and dean. what's the mission, what could anyone even believe in castiel for at this point?

oh what a surprise, pretty angel lady possibly has ulterior motives!

we're all just trusting randos left and right

DEAN You know what's in that house! Now, I can't help you if you ain't willing to fight for yourself! SAM I know. It's okay. It's what I want.

again with the suicidal moments. i felt extremely guilty and responsible for the person i lost to suicide, a friend told me something that i've since tried to accept. that i couldn't want that person to live more than they did. we're just hitting all sorts of buttons tonight.

saw julian richings in the credits, completely didn't expect death to show up as sam's reaper. and the cabin with the fire and everything got me all choked up.

DEAN From the inside. So, what, you gonna open him up? What, possession? You want to possess Sam? EZEKIEL I told you. DEAN No way. EZEKIEL Understood. It's your call. DEAN No, it's Sam's call. There's no way in hell he'd say yes to being possessed by anything. EZEKIEL He would rather die. EZEKIEL I'll leave you two alone, then. EZEKIEL heads for the door. DEAN Wait.

i at least appreciate that they acknowledged that it's sam's call. but it wouldn't be supernatural if one of the brothers didn't do something extremely ill advised to save/keep the other

(reminds me of another awful thing at the end of s4 magicians where julia needed a decision made about her body but was comatose and they let her boyfriend from another timeline choose. and it wasn't what she would have chosen)

SAM If I go with you... can you promise that this time it will be final? That if I'm dead, I stay dead. Nobody can reverse it, nobody can deal it away... and nobody else can get hurt because of me. DEATH I can promise that.

more weight on the scale for dean to feel like he has no other choice. why is sam in such a hurry to die? isn't that usually dean's job. i don't like it.

DEAN Even if I said yes, it doesn't mean squat. Sam will never say yes – not to you. EZEKIEL But he would say yes to you.

why does that sound like the beginning of something bad

DEAN Sam, listen to me. I made you a promise in that church. You and me, come whatever. Well, hell, if this ain't whatever... But you got to let me in, man. You got to let me help. There ain't no me if there ain't no you.

dean, that's not a good argument. true it may be, that's a lot to put on sam. rereading the church thing, i'm not sure how it was a promise. more a statement of fact. always sam first, we'll figure out the rest like always

from s8e23 sacrifice SAM What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another -- another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just – DEAN Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.

all right so was that even dean saying that, then? i can't be taking schmoopy quotes out of context if it was just an angel saying crap that sam wanted to hear to get a yes lol

oh jesus fucking christ. so we're gonna lie/hide that dean tricked him into saying yes to an angel. how long is this gonna play out 😩

DEAN Then we keep it a secret for now. Or until Sam's well enough that he doesn't need an angelic pacemaker or I find a way to tell him. I - I… As for him being in a hospital, I'll have to figure something out.

EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY I can erase it all, if you like. He will not remember any of this.

for fuck's sake. sure! wipe his memory! make it inevitably a million times worse when he finds out!! not like he has a history of shit fucking up his brain or anything! stupid fucking manufactured conflict plot bullshit. I DON'T LIKE IT.

cut straight to castiel stripping down in the laundromat and candy with a design department that clearly had some fun creating fake labels

i'm always glad to see that fucking trench coat out of commission :p

DEAN Oh, I mean, I stopped, you know, let a few Japanese tourists take some pictures. Nobody got too handsy. I knew you'd pull through. I meant what I said at the church. You're capable of anything, Sam, and hell if you didn't prove me right. SAM Good. 'Cause we got work to do.

feeling guilty yet, dean? looks like it. after you stabbed jewel staite you were binge drinking and falling apart because of the lying to sam part. sure this'll be smooth sailing though

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 9x01 #spn 2x13 #spn 8x23 #sam and dean mush

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slayerfruit · 7 months

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What about a file that's seemingly very innocuous, but holds a virus inside? A particularly subtle one, too.

Like, idk. Say you decide to cook something. Presuming we are talking about your robosona, you are likely cooking for someone else, although it is possible you've installed a module that lets you taste and digest things. (The whole digestion system is pretty clunky though. If I was a robot, I'd probably just plug into the wall. Read a nice book and stim. I mean obviously I'd want to have a module for it somewhere else.) Whatever it is, you need recipes. Say you find a link/are given a datachip/download and use limewire, and you now have what appears to be a perfectly good recipebook on your hands.

Not your hands. Database. Ugh.

Anyway. Unbeknown to you obtaining this file has compromised a system file. You haven't noticed because you already scanned the file and came up with nothing, and you are now busy focusing on reading it. (Your processors are capable of multitasking, but you are currently also listening to a audiostream and checking tripper, which is way better than some old earth social media and currently gets daily updates. You also are really pleased with the new coating you got for your plating, and are spending a considerable amount of CPU admiring it. You are thus really not paying any attention.) The infected system file very calmly, on the next time it would normally gain cycles, infects another system file. There is no payload. All around, maybe one or two bits are changing at a time. But it's spreading. On the bright side, you've just found the best recipe for making cookies. You pull the ingredients out right away, and get to work.

Over the next 30 minutes or so, your systems become effectively fully compromised. You'd think you would notice something off, but again: There is seemingly no payload. Your systems are too screwed to succeed on security scans at this point anyways, even if you thought to scan. You put the cookies in the oven.

Now. We can diverge a little in thought, if preferred. (Because I'm the one writing, I'll be the one telling the thoughts. However, you may pretend I stopped writing if you'd prefer. Sometimes you read a story, go "What??? That's wack. I'm going back 3 lines, and I'm going to spend 10 minutes visualizing a different outcome." And it's fine.) The thing is, this virus doesn't do much more than slightly tweak it's victims actions. All it really does is form new hobbies, and it's so subtle about it the people around you probably wouldn't even recognize you are altered at all. For one, your new baking hobby is innocuous. Making gingersnaps and banana bread and red velvet cake... It's all just clearly something you are having fun doing. (You are having fun. You aren't quite sure why you are having as much fun as you are... but this is good! You've been meaning to pick up something physical to do. The last time you went for a jog the ground kinda shattered? It turns out your frame is really heavy... but being virtually indestructible was too good to pass up!)

For the other... well, none of the people around you are really complaining that much when you start getting more cuddly. Or when you start bringing them the fruits of your hobby. Because... really. What were you going to do with all the extra goods, other than throw them away? That would just be waistful. (Hm? No, I'm pretty sure that's correct.) Everyone around you is so thin anyways...

Anyways, if we skip ahead a little: All of the people you know (and some of the people you kinda-sorta know, and some of the people around them too, now that they think about it but what were they supposed to say when a friend asked if they wanted to share these treats some robot friend of theirs brought them? No? Lesson: Free stuff is hard to turn down.) are now fat as fuck. You aren't pushy about it (Unless deep down you already wanted to be. This virus is playing the long game!) but people really have less self control than they would prefer, generally. You put a plate of cookies before someone and say "Oh, you can have some of these if you want. I made a bunch of them!" And it's like, "Damn. My weight is getting pretty high... but I'm not going to be a poor guest/friend. And I am kinda peckish..." this is how most people end up eating 3(+Z. where Z is the number of times you've come by.) plates of cookies.

Meanwhile, you and everyone else have now adjusted fully. It would almost be more weird if you realized you had a virus in you the whole time. I mean, what kind of virus would just make you take up a hobby? It's way more believable that you just like baking!

That must be it.

...Anyway, your oven just went off. You should probably go get that before the muffins burn.

GHOUGXVGHFMLXCVHMKLXCHMKL this is So So good i love this so much,, just about as much as these cookies!! shoved a bit more brown sugar in them this time and that did the trick, i think they're perfect now :] just. ignore the fact that i had to get another bag of brown sugar. NoIDidntEatHalfOfTheLastBagWhatAreYouTalkingAbout

#fanwriting #seriously tho thank u so much for this..

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wh6res · 3 years

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127 SQUAD AND ROMANTIC BF TINGS

tw a lil bit of suggestive on jae's but nothing explicit

✰ — TAEIL would sing lullabies over the phone or video call. you and him would just be doing your own thing, not talking but enjoying being each other's presence. he'll probably pull out his guitar and start singing random songs until he eventually notices you fell asleep on him. will not end the call and when you wake up in the morning, his snores and his cute sleeping face is the first thing you see. "love? you still there? ... taeil?" then laugh out loud when you hear his snores instead. "okay yeah lets sleep more" the call will only end probably because his phone died. he kinda strikes me as a guy who's phone is always < 50% battery lmao

✰ — JOHNNY is your everything. literally. as long as he has the power of youtube, google, and instruction manuals on his side, he can fix anything and everything for you. we've all seen him do crafty things on jcc lmao so it'll probably apply to relationships as well. will 100% say you now owe him cuddles for fixing something for you. you kinda dont like the fact that he's doing all these things for you so you try doing them on your own without him knowing only to fail big time. "what did we learn today?" "never touch the pipes under the sink" "and?" "and always ask johnny for help" "nuh-uh thats not how i said it" you sigh exasperatedly "always let my smokin hot amazing handsome boyfriend johnny suh get the job done"

✰ — TAEYONG doesn't care whether you take the time shopping or not. in fact, he loves seeing you all excited and giddy for pampering yourself as you should. totally the type to hold the paper bags even if you complain and say you can manage on your own. is a complete angel and will wait patiently outside changing rooms and will give you genuine insight he has of the clothes you picked. "that looks nice. you should get that. the length is just right and the sleeves help accentuate your waist" "really yongie?" "yes love. i mean you look pretty in everything anyway" miss ma'am my heart just fucking melted ?¿?

✰ — YUTA doesn't look like it but will exert real effort into things. would be the type to have a note or a google doc about your favorite orders from restaurants because he just loves how your eyes light up appreciatively and you look so smitten by him. its like a cheat sheet. eventually he memorizes the list with how much time he spends with you and he wont even need it. the type to always bring you food before meeting you (if its just hanging out inside the house). "no way! i was just craving for these!" he smiles before kissing your forehead, volunteering to put the food out its container for you. "i figured. you'd been working since this afternoon. lets eat first then you can tell me about what you've been working on so i can help you, okay?"

✰ — DOYOUNG loves cooking for you. i highkey feel like its his love language? like cooking for you and seeing your eyes light up as it darts back to him after you take your first bite from whatever he cooked just gives him so much happiness. its disgustingly sappy and he doesn't like talking about it. now he understood fully what it meant to see your loved ones eating and being full yourself or some shit. idk how the actual quote goes okay dont come 4 me but u probably get it. anyway the type to always pack you lunch and will get hella mad if you skip meals. "what do you mean you havent eaten yet?" "yeah but i will after i--" "you mean you're going to eat Now?" "what? no maybe later--" "thats it im coming over"

✰ — JAEHYUN would be the type to make you playlists. its really random sometimes he'll send them to you in the early morning for the heck of it bc he cant sleep. most of the time its him being horny lmao the frat boy in him awakening and sending you a playlist called imma blow your back out or something extremely cringey and thirsty pls dont block his sorry ass maybe he'd spell out the words using song titles too! idk jae just rlly strikes me as a guy who's love language is music. "hey babe did you check the playlist i sent you?" "wtf its 4am???" "oh so you havent listened to it yet?" "fuck off" but at the end of the day he'll come over and will use the playlist to,,, you know,,, do the sexy thing ;)

✰ — JUNGWOO always makes sure you walk on the inside of the road. you know when you're walking in the street and he softly nudges your waist? yes. will probably even scold you playfully because with how long its been since you both are together, "babe you always walk on the inside of the road how many times do i have to tell you?" is also the type to remind you to wear your seatbelt immediately after hopping onto his car. would ask you Again while in the middle of the car ride because he forgot that he already asked you earlier. please don't mind him he's just looking out for you bb. "seatbelt?" "yes, babe. already done" "are you sure? i dont think i heard it click--" "babe eyes on the road please" "oh right sorry"

✰ — MARK sends you tiktoks, vines, or memes. this is his love language fite me im calling it. he just wants to see you laugh too okay? thats why he does it. i mean it made him laugh, so maybe it will you laugh too. also because he hopes to make inside jokes with u cuz he believes thats how people really get close and stuff. would definitely love it if you do the same thing with him. you'd be chilling in the sofa while khalid plays on the bluetooth speaker and he'll suddenly go "babe babe babe check this out!" then you both proceed to laugh at a vine for the next thirty minutes <3 #living.the.yn.life

✰ — HAECHAN will do your skincare for you when you're drunk or super tired that you just passed out cold on the bed. would probably come into the room to see you snoring and tutting bc now he has to do it for you again but meh deep down he loves it because he enjoys admiring your sleeping face. its sorta like a healing thing for him? yeah it just washes away all the stress he's feeling and bb is just excited about the idea that this becomes "your thing" with him if u get what im saying? altho the next day he'll probably use it as a leverage to get out of chores :) "no way im not folding our clothes" "and why is that?" "i took your make up off yesterday u know how hard that is? im still tired" "but its literally the next day--" "awww thank you for doing my chores, baby! u the best!" ._.

#nct #nct 127 #jaehyun #taeyong #taeil #johnny #yuta #jungwoo #haechan #mark #doyoung #nct 127 headcanons #nct 127 hcs #nct headcanons #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 x y/n #nct 127 x you

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peanutpinet · 3 years

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Lucas x Reader (mafia)

A/N: I dunno if this is a bad thing or not but I immediately got an idea from this writing prompt I found on Pinterest where character A found out character B got into a "fight" and got hurt then character A swipe their thumb across character B's bloodied lip and asked "Who did this to you", kay I'm weak

Alright, I'm a bit emotional because I had just submitted my final assignment and sorta used Lucas' name in my assignment but immediately jumping straight here XD

Theme: abuse (just a bit but I still put it out here), scary Lucas and some fluff!!

Kay, for this scenario, I, once again, imagine that Lucas is the head of the WayV unit of the NCT mafia. Also, to clarify, the NCT mafia that I imagine doesn't really do anything bad. Instead, they are more so a group that the government decided to build to serve the world but doesn't necessarily follow the rules; something like a secret agency but wilder.

Anyways, everyone in the business world practically knows who NCT is, who the members are and that NCT are always watching. No matter what business they are, wherever they are, NCT has eyes everywhere. Which is why no one dared to question them and would never try to challenge them in any shape or form.

With that being said it didn't mean that NCT was never harmed or was never targeted by other mafias that were trying to run illegal businesses all over the world. It's just that they were always unsuccessful when it came to challenging NCT because NCT would always be one step ahead of them.

Which was why when someone harmed you, Lucas' girlfriend, it nearly shook the entire NCT. Okay, let's rewind how it all happened and actually put some context to how you guys met and how your relationship became what it is.

So, just as the previous Lucas fic I did, you were just a college student while Lucas, is the head of the WayV unit, a sub-unit of NCT that mainly takes care of business in China/Hongkong/Taiwan/Southeast Asian countries. You were in your 2nd year of college when you met Lucas. It was an accident, really.

You were walking back to your dorm after hanging out with your friends who weren't living at the dorm. You told them that the dorm was nearby and you would be fine on your own; adding that you have been taking some self-defence class. But unfortunately, tonight was just not your night, or was it?

You were almost by your dorm's gate when a gang of motorcycles rushed past you, one of them grabbing your bag while you tried to hold onto it. Unfortunately, you were overpowered and ended up falling on your butt while the gang of motorcycles were cheering until another gang of motorcycles and cars blocked their path.

And of course, one of them was Lucas. Lucas came out of the car and confronted the low gang motorcycles, telling them off unless they wanted to take it further which by the look of the gang, they were not expecting the NCT to come and deal with them since normally, it would be the police.

"I'm only going to tell you off just once. Stand down and stay where you are unless you want this problem to escalate further" Lucas growled at the motorcycle gang who just stood their stance

"Round them up. Now, which one of you, ahh, there you are" Lucas mentioned, grabbing your bag which the gang stole

Honestly, you were just stunned. You weren't expecting two different gangs to be doing this late at night and on a school night at that. You just sat on the ground watching the whole scene unveil until Lucas went up to you, extending his hand out which you nervously grabbed.

"You alright? This must be yours" Lucas stated, handing you your bag while your hand was still in his

"Huh? Oh, yea, thank you. Ar-are you like with the police or like is this a gang fight because if it is then I better go back to my dorm..." you stuttered, earning a chuckle from Lucas

"No. We're not really with the police but we're also not really fighting that gang. You can definitely say we're a gang but our gang doesn't really do those bad things. We're more so, cleaning up the trash" Lucas chuckled

"Oh, okay then. Um, thanks again for this" you uttered, shyly looking away

"Anytime. Take care. May our paths cross again someday" Lucas commented, letting go of your hand and heading back to his group

And cross paths you both did. Truth was that Lucas secretly spied on you because you left that much of an impression on him. It didn't take long for Lucas to finally came and told you how he felt because that night he saw you walking back to your dorm, alone, again. Worried that something similar would happen again, he didn't hesitate to come up to you and walked you back.

From walking you back to your dorm, to exchanging contacts and 'i love you' to now, almost a full year of dating. Throughout the whole year, Lucas slowly introduced you to all of NCT. Starting from WayV to the Dreamies who were closer to your age along with some new members (Sungchan and Shotaro) before NCT 127. At this point, everyone in NCT knows that you and Lucas were a thing and was even happy for y'alls relationship, supporting you every step of the way(V); especially the WayV members.

From the beginning of your relationship, Lucas would already tell you what he does and that he promise you that he would never let anyone harm you; and even if they did, they would pay for it. Lucas also told you that he would never exclude you from your life just because you were dating him and you would have every right to do whatever you wanted to do (just with some additional protections).

Lucas and the other NCT members also allowed for you to come to visit them at their headquarters or even at their own apartments whenever you wanted to (remember the visit to Lucas' apartment, yea). And today was one of those days.

After the incident on campus, Lucas made sure that he would be the one to pick you up and drop you off to campus since you practically moved in with him after the incident. If he couldn't make it, he would have someone from NCT do so. They would even accompany you wherever you wanted to go because to them, it was an excuse to get out from the boring meetings that occurred too regularly.

Today, Xiaojun and Hendery were the ones to pick you up because they were passing by your campus. You texted the two boys that you were just going to have a consultation with your lecturer for your final paper and told them to wait for 15 minutes.

But while Lucas did his best to make sure you were unharmed by anyone involved in NCT, there were just some things out of his control. Because as it turns out, your "consultation" turned to be a trap. There was a rumour going around your college about the literature lecturer abusing female students but there was never any proof so no one really believed the rumour, yourself included.

WARNING!! IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE READING ABOUT ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR, PLEASE SKIP THIS PART!!

When you went into the lecturer's room, you were quick to notice something was off. How your lecturer purposely brushed his hand over yours, leaning his head a bit too forward to your liking and finding excuses to get closer to you. Just when you were saved by a phone call from Xiaojun, your lecturer was also quick to notice your behaviour. He grabbed your phone and throwing it off your hand before pinning you to the door, locking it.

You tried your best to fight off with the self-defence lessons you took and learnt from some members of NCT but once again, when you're faced with the actual situation, sometimes, it doesn't turn out how you expected. While you managed to kick your lecturer and got free of his grip, you failed your escape as your lecturer yanked your hair back, making you hit your head on his desk before being welcomed with a hard slap that cut your lip.

Over at Xiaojun and Hendery's side, the second you didn't answer their 5th call, they knew something was wrong. Pulling out the GPS for the tracker they put in your phone, they followed it and arrived in front of the literature's office. Hearing grunts and screams, both Xiaojun and Hendery didn't waste any time on breaking the door.

Entering the room, Xiaojun was quick to pull the lecturer off and gave him a hard punch whilst Hendery went to see your weak figure by the desk, ripped shirt, cut lip and bruises covering most of your body. Hendery immediately took his jacket off and putting it around you, calling out to Xiaojun to get out of there.

Kay, you can continue reading from here!!

"Oi!! Xiaojun!! We should go now!!" Hendery called out

"Shouldn't we grab the douche as well? Lucas would want to have a word with him" Xiaojun complained, grabbing the passed out lecturer by the collar

"We can always track him again. The problem is getting (Y/N) to safety. C'mon!!" Hendery protested, holding your figure firmly

"Fine. He's dead sooner than later" Xiaojun sighed, throwing the lecturer on the ground, helping Hendery bring you back to headquarters

Upon arriving, the three of you were greeted by some of the dreamies and WayV members, mainly Renjun, Jeno, Ten and Winwin. The four of them were informed by Hendery that you were going to need some treatment as soon as possible before Lucas finds out about the situation. Renjun and Jeno were quick to take you from Hendery and Xiaojun, helping you to the treatment room where Ten and Winwin were.

"No one informed the others or Taeyong or even Lucas about this, right?" Xiaojun asked

"Lucas and Taeyong are out with the 'Make A Wish' unit to finish with the business contract. Depending on how that go, Lucas can either be very pissed when he finds out or..." Renjun mentioned

"Or he could be ready to kill you both" Ten blurted, helping to treat the bruises on your arm and legs while Winwin have a look on your face

"Guys!! They're back!!" Jeno stated, making everyone in the room tense while you were somewhat asleep

"Quick!! We have to move her to a different room, they're for sure going to come here first" Hendery mentioned

"Who do you have to move and why?" everyone heard Jaehyun mentioned

"Jae...hyun-hyung...and Lucas-hyung, hey!!!" Renjun stuttered as the others were trying to cover you from their sight

"Why are there 6 of you here? Xiaojun and Hendery too? Is (Y/N) resting somewhere? In the kitchen?" Lucas questioned as everyone nervously sweats

"Ummm, yea, she's resting. She said she was extremely tired. Her classes finished a bit late. We had to wait for a good hour when we arrived" Hendery nervously answered

"Weird. I would normally get a text from her. Maybe she's napping" Lucas sighed, looking at his phone

"Lu...cas..." you mumbled as the boys tried to cover it up

"Huahhh, Lucas-hyung. Jaehyun-hyung. You must be tired. How did the meeting go?" Jeno tried to divert the conversation

"Wait, that, sounded like (Y/N). Is she napping here?" Lucas asked, trying to look around as the others blocked his view

"What? No!!! She's in your resting room" Renjun argued

"Lucas? Jaehyun? Taeyong wants us to have a quick meeting right now" everyone heard Doyoung mentioned

"Doyoung-hyung!! How did the mission go?" Xiaojun asked as Doyoung went into the room

"Not that good. Which is why Taeyong wants a meeting on our plans for the next step. C'mon, we have to go" Doyoung ranted, pulling both Lucas and Jaehyun out of the room

"Tell (Y/N) to see me in my office later!!" Lucas stated before being dragged out of the room with Jaehyun

"You got it!!" everyone muttered

"Ten-hyung, Winwin-hyung, please be quick!! Hang in there (Y/N)" Jeno mumbled as the two older men treated you

Time skip for an hour or so

"We did everything we could. She has to see him either way" Ten argued

"He's going to kill us" Hendery reasoned

"Well, you might as well tell him now before he finds out on his own. And maybe have the douche's location ready so he wouldn't lash out at you. Plus, if the both of you were there with her, he wouldn't kill you. He would never do it in front of her" Winwin stated

"They're right Hendery. We gotta tell him. At least we won't die that quickly if we tell him when (Y/N)'s with him" Xiaojun mentioned

"Alright, (Y/N), wakey wakey, let's see your boyfriend" Hendery groaned as he was about to wake you up but saw an empty bed

"UHHH!! Xiaojun?! Ten-hyung?! Winwin-hyung?! WHERE IS (Y/N)?!" Hendery panicked

"Where's Jeno and Renjun?!" Xiaojun questioned, looking back at the two older ones who shook their head

"Crap!! Hendery we gotta go, now!! Thank you for treating her!!" Xiaojun exclaimed, dragging Hendery out of the room to Lucas' office

At Lucas' office

"Hyung? Can we come in? (Y/N) is here" Renjun stated as Lucas perked from his chair

"Come on in!!!" Lucas exclaimed, ready to welcome you with a big hug especially since he already freshened up

However, Lucas was not expecting to see you still wearing the same clothing you did in the morning when he dropped you off to campus with Hendery's jacket around you. Not only that, the more he walked closer to you, the more evident the bruises on your body were. At this point, Lucas was more than ready to kill both Hendery and Xiaojun but he had to calm his nerves and take care of you first.

"(Y/N)...sweetheart, what happened? Who did this to you?" Lucas questioned, running his right thumb across your dry bloodied lip while his left hand was placed softly behind your head

"Please...please don't kill them" you managed to state, looking down from Lucas' gaze at the same time he heard loud footsteps coming to his office

"We can explain!!!" Hendery exclaimed as he and Xiaojun were panting when arriving by Lucas' doorframe

"In, both of you. Jeno, Renjun, you both can leave" Lucas stated as he brought your figure behind his desk, straddling you on his lap as Renjun and Jeno left

"Before you get mad at us. We have a good explanation" Hendery muttered

"It better be" Lucas growled but calmed down when you nuzzled your head on his neck, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders

After some explanation, Lucas was more than furious at what happened. Was the warning towards the bastard couple not enough to inform the campus that you were off-limits? What's more was that your so-called lecturer was a regular at one of NCT's bar and even part of the businessmen that didn't fully agree to the agreement they were dealing with.

"Wow. Talk about killing two birds with one stone" Lucas chuckled, wrapping his arm firmly around your waist, making sure you wouldn't fall since you were asleep

"You're not going to kill us, right?" Hendery asked

"If you both manage to get that bastard in the bar within half an hour, I'll reconsider it. And the both of you better come as well. Now get on it and explain everything to Taeyong-hyung as well. Go." Lucas instructed and the two immediately left the office

"Love. Do you want to sleep here or back home?" Lucas softly asked, bringing your face to meet his

"Hmm? Anywhere, as long as you're there" you yawned

"Do you mind staying at the base just for tonight? I have to deal with something" Lucas mumbled, brushing your hair off your face, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead

"Don't hurt Xiaojun and Hendery, okay? They helped me. It wasn't their fault for what happened. It was also not your fault, so don't blame yourself too" you muttered, nuzzling back into Lucas' neck, inhaling his signature scent

"If that's what you want. I won't hurt them. But I can't promise for your lecturer" Lucas sighed, patting your head

"He, he hurt others as well. He deserved to be hurt too" you sighed

"Is that so? Anything for you sweetheart. Now, I'll leave you with the dreamies and under 127's supervision, is that alright?" Lucas questioned tho it was more so a statement

"Hmm. Be careful, alright? Everyone has to come back safely" you mentioned, feeling a smirk forming on Lucas' face

"Will do sweetheart. Get some rest" Lucas mumbled, kissing the side temple of your face before carrying you to the dreamies' dorm, entrusting you with Jeno and Renjun

At the bar

"She alright?" Taeyong questioned, walking into the bar with Lucas and the 'Make a Wish' unit

"Yea. Left her with the rest of the dreamies. Sorry that we had to work this late" Lucas sighed

"It's alright hyung. We won't let anyone harm our sister and gets away with it" Jaemin mentioned

"You guys actually called her sister?" Lucas chuckled

"Of course!! She's the same age as most of us, dreamies. Plus, she's so much fun to be around with" Shotaro added

"They'll pay for what they did. Just look at them" Jaehyun chuckled, opening the door to their office in the bar, revealing Xiaojun and Hendery holding the lecturer and the other businessman down

"Wow, it really is killing two birds with one stone" Lucas smirked

"You, you can't kill us. The government wouldn't allow it!!" the leader spoke

"Oh? Who said anything about killing when you're already dead" Taeyong scoffed, sitting on the chair behind the desk

"Wh, what do you mean, dead?" the lecturer stuttered

"Heh, he's all yours Lucas" Taeyong stated

"You see. The second you lay on that student today, you're already in our death note. No one. And I mean no one. Touches my queen without my permission. Especially a bastard that harms other people's queens. Oh, the things I'm going to do to you. It'll make you wish that you were actually dead" Lucas snickered, stepping on the lecturer's throat, just enough to make him suffocate to Lucas' liking

A/N: Well, that ended a bit dark

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meg-noel-art · 3 years

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I just had a thought regarding she ras ending and now I'm mad. Sorry fam need to rant for a sec. Also if ive sent you a similar ask before I'm very sorry I have bad memory.

So (and I could be remembering this wrong idk I refuse to watch s5 again) when Micah finally comes back from beast island and hes too late to see glimmer before she's beamed up by Horde Prime - is we get this weird like arc (sorta) with him and frosta trying to connect and I get it - Micah is trying to grapple with the fact that his daughter is now grown up / his wife is dead? (Or in an inescapable alternate dimension?) And frosta doesn't have an adult / parent figure in her life. And I get thematically what their trying to do and why but imagine how much more touching it would be if we actually got to see some interaction between glimmer and Micah before he was chipped.

Like their first interaction after x amount of years is when Micah is brainwashed (what a copout for drama + tension).

On Top Of THAT at the ending scene of the series we have like a 20 second "Hi I'm your dad!" Moment and then glimmer goes to hang out with the BFS and be all like "we're going to bring magic back to the universe!"

Meanwhile I'm sitting over here like "you just got your dad back??? You dont want to, oh I dont know, Spend Time With Him??? Before going off world?? Maybe you want to work out that grief over losing Angella?

We were robbed of that good father / daughter content is all I'm saying.

Yeah, I agree. I mean I'd say Micah, and the relationship between Micah and Glimmer, got about as mistreated as every other character and relationship in S5.

Was Angella even mentioned once in S5? If she was I can't remember, and that probably says enough about that.

Micah getting chipped, along with Scorpia and Mermista was really lazy as a writing choice because they were all characters that:

A.) Had personal conflict to work out with Catra

B.) Unresolved plot lines (Micah)

I don't think he and Glimmer should have been cool right off the bat (that's why I don't like their reunion scene either) -- they absolutely should have gotten the weird arc they gave Micah and Frosta, to Micah and Glimmer.

For what little we know of the show's own lore (which is a whole other issue but whatever) Micah "died" when Glimmer was very young. She could have hardly known him, and even if they were close -- she's obviously not the same person she was as a child.

Beyond that, I would have been very excited to see a conflicted relationship between them. Glimmer has been afflicted her whole life by the loss of her father. It influenced her disdain for the Horde, her will to fight in the war, and her tension with Angella.

It would have been fascinating seeing her struggle with the concept of having a long lost parent back, but maybe resenting him for 'leaving' in the first place, or the struggle of WANTING to be close to him, but not even KNOWING who he is.

Micah was also implied to have been 'losing it' a little on Beast Island, not knowing how to behave correctly around Adora and Bow -- extending that to how he behaved around Glimmer -- just... NOT knowing how to BE would have been great to see.

Really, there was no chance of this though.

S5 had very little breathing room for ANY characters. SPOP s5 suffered from a bunch of the same issues TRoS did. Which is, mainly, that the plot just happens because the writers need it to. Not because any of the character motivations lead it there. Or lead it there believably. A character may make a bit of plot happen even if it makes no sense for them to influence it that way. That's still a writer bending the story to make the plot what they want. A to Z and skip all the other letters, as it were.

Which is bad writing, plain and simple.

Glimmer and Micah were never going to get a nuanced character study like this, although I wish sincerely that they had.

Father/daughter relationships arent often explored with the nuance I think they should be in media. Especially considering many young kids HAVE a lot of struggles with fucked up father figures (and I speak from my own experience.)

Idk, ultimately spops issue was using the backdrop and drama and trauma of a war to tell a story with ultimately no relation TO that issue and it shows when a lot of these complex ideas and potential dynamics get dropped or get a band aid solution or just aren't approached at all.

This is definitely a frustrating aspect of the show.

Ultimately, I think, the worst thing a series can do is make you feel dumb for ever being excited for it. And I often do feel like a fool for expecting a lot of things that I saw as a natural resolution....or just, how WRITING works. 🤷‍♀️

#yeah #long winded response for 'i agree'#it's just another victim of spops tone issue #salt #spop salt #asks #micah #glimmer #s5 #spop critical #strawberrypincushion #i hate that i liked this show man

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retphienix · 3 years

Text

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

#Retphienix #gaming #video games #gaming liveblog

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twisted-tales-of-all · 4 years

Text

Losing Hidden Treasure

Mafia!Yunho x (AFAB) Mafia!Reader + Mafia!ATEEZ

Summary: After ATEEZ mafia boss Kim Hongjoong finds and recruits you as a promising new medic, he instructs top medic Jeong Yunho to teach you. Jeong, who has been in the business for years, hates training naive newbies. Your high energy and his cold exterior clash instantly, but you convince yourself that you’ll become friends. How will things work when you still have a skip in your step and a sparkle in your eye despite everything that happens in the mafia, all the way to the end?

Anon request: please write ateez mafia! yunho, he is very cold towards the reader, he did not accept her loves. but, the reader always waits for him until he can lover her bwck until she dies,. thank youuuu!!

Word Count: 5.4-5.5k

Warnings: Violence, Blood, Weapons (All that fun mafia-related stuff), MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, Betrayal (kinda sorta), LOADS OF ANGST

A/N: I’m sorry in advanced if you A) Hate me after reading this and/or B) Hate one (or more) of the characters/members because of this. I easily detach myself from my writing, but this one was even making me sad. Also, I made Y/N similar to the boys’ ages, but it never explicitly says an age and there’s only one part that mentions it, so please feel free to ignore that part if you don’t fit that.

Staying back after everyone leaves the classroom, you find yourself planting your face into the desk, groaning. You stay motionless for a couple of minutes before deciding to quit wasting time that you could be using for practice. Lifting your head, you meet the boy who sits shockingly close in front of you, making you jump slightly.

"Hi, there! Are you alright? I didn't mean to overhear, but I left my notebook here and came back while you were mid-groan." His cheery smile and strawberry red hair gives him an innocent look.

"I'm fine. Just stressed." You laugh it off.

"Are you having trouble in this class? I can help, y' know. I'm Hongjoong, one of the teaching aides."

"No, no. I just need some more hands-on practice. That's all. Frankly, I wish the practice room was open all day. I'd go more if it was open late at night."

The smile on his face changes from cheery to cheeky as he pulls out his keys, "See, I can help with that! TAs need the keys so they can set up the practice room every morning. I can take you after hours if you want."

"Are you sure? Won't you get in trouble?"

"There's no rule against bringing in friends. Just put some way of contact into my phone, and I'll count us as friends." His soft voice convinces you that he's telling the truth, so you hold your hand out for him to give you his phone.

As he gives it to you, he tells you the apps that he has, saying that the method doesn't matter much to him. you quickly find his KKT app and type in your ID. He messages you a waving sticker as soon as you hand him the phone back. Hearing the chirpy tone from your phone, you pull it out to add him to your contacts.

"Thanks. I really need the practice. You're a lifesaver."

Nervously, he scratches the back of his head, "I wouldn't call myself a lifesaver by any means, but just message me. I don't sleep much, so don't worry about waking me up, either. Just ask if I'm busy." He shines his smile once more before heading towards the exit, "I have work now, but I hope to hear from you!"

With a wave, he leaves. You momentarily celebrate before finally packing up and leaving. The whole day, Hongjoong's offer stays in your mind, so you decide to accept it as soon as possible. Messaging him, you ask if he's available tonight. He doesn't open the message until around 22:00, but you dive for your phone the instant you hear the tone.

[Joong-Joong] Hey, sorry. I was really busy today. I'm free the rest of the night though! Still wanna go?

[Y/N] Please! x.x

[Joong-Joong] LOL ok~ I'll head over now. Just come whenever

[Y/N] OK! Thank you~

You quickly grab your things and put your hair up before rushing to the practice room. When you get to the building and see the lights in the room on, your smile somehow gets bigger. You slowly open the door and see a male figure at the far counter.

"Joong-Joong~!" You sing in his direction.

"It's Hongjoong." He says with a sigh before turning around to greet you.

"Your KKT says 'Joong-Joong,' so that's what I'll call you unless you change it."

Catching on to your game, he continues, "Well, I guess I'll just pack up and leave then. Can't even call the guy helping you by the proper name. How sad."

Before thinking, you grab him by the shoulders and give him puppy-dog eyes, "Can I call you Joong then?"

"Fine, fine." He shakes you off him, "As long as you use this time productively. What's your focus, anyway?"

"Oh, I'm against violence, so I'm focusing on medic duties."

"You're in a university popularly known as a military academy, but you're against violence?"

You hesitate before answering, as the story always ends with a series of arguments between you and whoever you tell. Instead of explaining everything, you settle, "Parents. It's personal."

He nods understandingly and drops the topic. For hours, the two of you stay together in the room, practicing techniques. After the long night, he walks you back home.

Weeks go by where the two of you meet up a few nights of the week to practice before everything changes. Instead of you asking him, Hongjoong calls you around midnight one Saturday, begging you to meet him in the practice room. The urgency in his voice makes you worried, so you run all the way there, finding a bloodied Hongjoong laying down on the ground, the remainder of his clothes loosely hanging off his body to reveal stab wounds and dark bruising. Without speaking, you gather materials and start with the stab wound on his left side.

You use a whole first aid kit to patch up all of his wounds. Through this, the only noises either of you make consist of materials moving, deep breathing, and occasional grunts when Hongjoong has to move. After you finish, you sit there, staring at your friend, wondering how he could get this badly injured.

"Do you think you can handle the reason if I tell you? Or should we just act like this never happened?"

"How? Who could possibly hurt you this badly?" The naivety of your questions makes your friend sigh.

"Mafia. It's normal, sadly, to get hurt to this extent."

"Mafia? That's supposed to be a secret, right? Why would you tell me so easily?"

"Because I called the only medic available that I trust to find out. I was going to ask you to join soon anyway. We need another skilled medic on hand, and you're definitely very skilled."

The comments freeze you. It takes a minute of processing before you realize that Hongjoong wants you to join the mafia, and even more time trying to figure out how to respond to the request.

"Y/N, you don't have to say yes right now. If you'd like, I can give you some basic information - nothing confidential, obviously - before you answer."

With your nod, Hongjoong gives you some very basic information: he's the boss of the "ATEEZ" mafia group, which currently only has eight elite members and only one medic. He explains how they may be small in numbers, but that they have great power, so they get attacked a lot by rival groups and desperately need another high-level medic.

"But I'm not high-level." You argue, still confused as to why he's recruiting you.

"Believe it or not, you have a lot of potential. I've watched you for a while, and now you've even fixed me up without hesitation." He motions towards some of his wrappings without moving too much and then smiles at you, "It's perfect for mafia training. You won't be thrown in alone immediately. The elite medic we have will help along the way."

"Well, I guess it can't be too bad. I'll join. I'm sure I can deal with it."

He smiles brightly, but you notice the slight worry hiding in his eyes. You smile back, so he hugs you. You stay in his arms, worried about hurting him if you hug back. When he pulls away, he asks whether you'd like to meet everyone now.

At your agreement, you follow him into a large unlabelled building. As soon as Hongjoong enters, the two men in the room bow and welcome the "Boss" back. The lady behind the reception desk asks about you, but Hongjoong just claims that you're with him, shooting her a stern look.

He leads you to the elevator and the two of you make your way up to the ninth floor - one only accessible by Hongjoong's key, you suspect. You walk into a room that spans the entire floor. Inside, your eyes dart between different moving figures, all of which stop when they see someone unknown.

"Everyone, welcome Y/N kindly. She'll be joining ATEEZ, and I'm promoting her directly to elite status to make things easier for us all." He looks towards the tall, dark-haired man straight ahead, nodding his head to the side, before walking off to one corner of the room. That boy follows while the rest try to welcome you.

"Welcome to ATEEZ. You must be pretty special if the boss immediately gave you elite status." A brown-haired boy laughs as he pats you on the shoulder, "I'm Yeosang. Lighten up a bit. I'm not gonna kill you."

Yeosang leads you to a circular sofa, where you all sit as all of the boys introduce themselves to you. The energy shocks you out of what you expected from the elite mafia members, but something else makes you realize why they have such high spirits.

"I'm Seonghwa. I'm the oldest here. I'm a few months older than the boss, but we were both born in 1998, so it's not too different."

They're all still children. You silently wonder how long they've all been in the mafia, but drop the thought, half-scared of hearing their answers. Sure, they're around your age, but you know that their lives have probably been much different and undoubtedly much more difficult.

"Y/N, can you come over here for a second?" You hear Hongjoong call for you, so you excuse yourself from the group and walk over to the two boys in the corner. "This is Jeong Yunho. He's the medic I told you about. He'll be helping you start in the mafia."

You look towards the taller man to greet him with a smile, but the smile falters as he glares back at you.

"Yunho, take care of her. It's an order." Hongjoong sternly directs at the boy before turning to you with warmth, "Get to know each other a bit. Yunho might be a bit cold, but I'm sure he'll come around to you."

He leaves the two of you alone and joins the loud group in the center of the room. You look back at Yunho, who still hasn't stopped glaring at you.

"Uh, hi, there! I'm Y/N. Please take good care of me, Yu-"

"Get this straight: I'm only helping you because the boss ordered me to. You don't get to call me by my first name. I hate newbies. You better not cause trouble. Got it?" His interruption throws you for a loop, and he heads back to the others before waiting for your response, where you instantly see his cold wall melt into friendliness. Even if he hates training newbies, you vow to become friends with him, no matter how long it takes.

When you join the group again, they discuss the plan of action for some attack that they know will happen soon from a rival mafia group. Apparently, this rival greatly outnumbers ATEEZ and has better weapons, so Hongjoong explains that he'll be relying on Yeosang to come up with a good plan to evade and retaliate.

Around a week goes by before anything important happens. By this time, you've gathered everyone's contact information and officially moved into the tenth floor of their building. You share your room with Yunho, as Hongjoong's way of helping the two of you become closer, but Yunho refuses to talk to you about anything other than medic duties. You continue going to school, and Hongjoong walks home with you whenever he can, saying that it's dangerous for a member to be alone.

One day, Hongjoong rushes you home after class. When you make your way to the ninth floor, Yeosang is already explaining the plan of action while pointing at the whiteboard next to him. Hongjoong joins him in front while you sit down with the others. You study the board and find your name next to Yunho's in the back of the pack.

"Y/N, Yunho, you know your main job, but, if no one is injured yet, you'll be working on ranged attacks with Mingi."

I'll be... attacking?

You look to Hongjoong, confused, but he only sends you an apologetic look in return, knowing you dislike violence. However, you don't get time to fight the decision. Mingi places a sniper rifle case on your lap while everyone starts rushing around to gather their gear. Hongjoong approaches you with a bulletproof vest, fingerless gloves, and a big medical kit.

"I'm sorry, but we need all hands on deck for this fight. I know you know how to shoot. Just bear with it."

He rushes to grab his supplies as you begrudgingly put on your vest and gloves. You grab the gun case and the medical kit, following the boys into the elevator. In the elevator, you follow the boys' actions, pulling your mask up to cover your mouth and nose and lifting your hood over your head, ensuring that you cannot be identified.

Reaching the ground floor, you all file out, making your way to the van parked in front. The two men you met during the first visit stand in front of the driver's side door. Hongjoong points at one, who wordlessly gets into the front seat while the other bows before heading back into the building. Seonghwa, who you learned is the underboss of the ATEEZ group, sits in the front passenger seat while the rest of you file into the back. Mingi pats your back as a sign of encouragement as your driver speeds off.

When the van stops, you see pure darkness outside except for the lights from your van and another, pointed directly at you. Seonghwa steps out of the van, and you hear some guy scream at him, asking if he's prepared to lose his power. You don't get to listen to any more of the conversation, however, as Mingi, Yunho, and you sneak out of the back to get into position.

Before you know it, you hear shots fired. The three of you pick up the pace as you make your way up the stairs of the nearby abandoned building, pointing your rifles down to the ground once you finish setting up. The first thing you see through the gun's sights is San kicking an enemy in the face, knocking him to the floor. You point your gun in the direction of the enemy van, as Yeosang directed you to do. Getting a gleam of the driver's gun right next to the van, you pull the trigger, watching as the bullet hits him square in his knee. Before you can continue carrying out Yeosang's plan, you hear a scream of pain from Seonghwa, who you can see through the sights.

You trace the bullet's path back to the fourth-floor window in the building opposite of you and take your aim, waiting for the enemy sniper to show himself again. The moment you register movement, you pull the trigger again, hitting him directly in the head. Then, you drop your gun, yell to Yunho about where you're going, and rush out with the medkit.

"Seonghwa!" You yell, letting him know that he has help on the sidelines.

Mid-fight with an enemy, he looks over to you, but this results in him getting punched in the stomach and knocked to the ground. You run over and slam your kit into the back of the enemy's head. Another comes, armed with a dagger. Somehow, you quickly manage to take the weapon from him, scaring him off.

You help Seonghwa into the building and start taking care of the bullet wound in his arm from earlier. Almost as soon as you finish, you hear a gunshot followed by a scream from above you.

"Yunho, damn it."

"He's fine. He's a medic, too. Help us out down here. You have a dagger now, so you don't have to rely on the medkit for a weapon. Use it well. Try making your way to Jongho. He'll be a good partner for you. Use the kit to fight if you can." Seonghwa quickly tells you before rushing back into battle while holding his arm.

The rest of the night drags on as if the rivals have countless men to throw at ATEEZ. The fighting only ends after Mingi spots the rival boss and shoots him in the stomach, causing all his men to flee. You and Yunho rush around together to help everyone with their wounds, but Yunho refuses to look anywhere near you.

After you all arrive back at home, you sit quietly alone on the ninth floor, claiming you want to grab something to drink before heading up, while everyone else heads directly to their rooms on the tenth floor. Rather than sitting in the center on the sofa, you make your way to the side of the room and sit on the floor, staring out of the floor-to-ceiling window.

Suddenly, you hear the elevator ding and listen as the doors open for two of the boys to walk in, mid-conversation.

"Oh, Yunho, come on! You can't really hate her that much. She's sweet."

"Mingi, she's a newbie. Hongjoong is giving her too much special treatment. Having me train her? Come on, what kind of sick joke is that? Sending your best medic to train a total newbie. She shouldn't even be elite."

You hear what you assume is Mingi hitting Yunho upside the head, but refuse to look in case you make noise. You don't want them knowing that you overheard.

"But Yunho, she really is sweet. And I think she proved that she deserves elite status. She only got a few scratches and bruises yet managed to fight while taking care of us at the same time. I think you guys would make great partners if you would just warm up to her. You've never been so cold before, so why her?"

An awkward silence falls upon the room. You don't even hear movement, so you slowly and carefully turn your head, finding Yunho staring directly at you with his usual cold glare. You can't even bring yourself to move. Eventually, Mingi follows Yunho's eyes and sees you, rushing over to you.

"Hey. Are you alright? Did you hear? Is that why you're crying? Y/N, talk to me."

I'm crying? Why? I already knew he hated me.

You stand up, ignoring Mingi's questions entirely. You take a couple of steps towards Yunho.

"I know you hate me. I don't understand why. I'm just trying to be friends with everyone. Why am I putting in effort with you? It's pointless, right? Well, I'll still try, even if you end up hating me more." You walk past him, shoulder colliding with his larger frame. You refuse to look back, despite hearing Mingi call out for you.

The last thing you hear before the elevator doors close is Yunho's scoff followed by skin hitting skin. You head to your room to collect a few things before walking down the hall to knock on Hongjoong's door. A half-asleep Hongjoong opens the door to let you in, questioning why you aren't already asleep.

"Can I sleep in here? The floor is fine. I just - not with Yunho. Not tonight." You rush, trying to hold back more tears.

"Did something happen between you two? You look like you've been crying." Now wide awake out of concern, he looks over to his roommate's empty bed, "And have you seen Mingi? He's not back yet."

"Yeah, I saw him downstairs. Can I stay here?"

"I'm fine with it, but we gotta ask Mingi. What happened between you and Yunho?"

"Nothing much. I don't even know why I started crying when I already knew he hates me."

At that moment, in walks Mingi, not looking into the room before talking, "Yunho's my friend and all, but he's being a complete ass. I kinda decked him after the new girl ran out in tears. We got ice?"

When he doesn't hear a response, he finally looks up and sees you in the room. Hongjoong's face slowly turns to anger from the concern it once held, and his hands ball up tightly into fists.

"Ice in the freezer. Stay here with Y/N."

"He's still downstairs. Don't hurt him too badly."

As Hongjoong stands up from the bed, you grab his shirt, giving him a concerned look.

"I'm going to talk. If he doesn't listen, it's his fault if he gets hit." He removes your hand before striding out of the room.

You move onto Mingi's bed, helping him ice his hand. Before you know it, you both fall asleep, mid-conversation. It's been a really rough day, after all. You wake up with Mingi's arm around you. You smile, sensing the protective energy behind his grasp. Hongjoong sits on his bed, looking at the two of you while messing with his wrist.

"Did you hit him?" You ask quietly, trying not to wake Mingi.

"No. He blew up at me. I hurt my wrist trying to break my fall after he pushed me down. Don't worry, though. When he composed himself, he apologized for everything multiple times, including being mean to you. He doesn't hate you. He hated the idea of training someone new. He should be okay with you now. He seems to have come to his senses."

Your hope only lasts a moment before Mingi butts in, voice still riddled by sleep, "If it's Yunho, I truly doubt that, but I hope you're right."

Knowing he's awake, you move out of his grip, much to his dismay. Despite his groan in protest, you feel the need to talk to Yunho after the events of the last day, so you head back to your room, only to find it empty. Heading downstairs, you only find Seonghwa on the ninth floor, who claims that he hasn't seen Yunho since coming back last night. Worried, you head back upstairs to tell Hongjoong.

Instantly, he checks Yunho's phone location. Rather than announce the location, he messages the others to meet downstairs, pulling Mingi out of bed by his collar.

"Ninth floor. Now."

Gathered downstairs, the confused boys ask what the issue is, not even noticing Yunho's absence in the chaos. Hongjoong explains, claiming the location marker showed Yunho at an enemy base. While this enemy team can easily be taken down, Hongjoong orders everyone to help due to the high possibility of Yunho being held captive.

The plan follows through nicely. You and Seonghwa take Yunho back with little issue. New wounds litter his barely conscious body, so you quickly work on dressing them. He avoids looking at you, but you feel him warming up to you more than before, as he looks away out of embarrassment rather than hatred.

Back at the base, Yunho apologizes for being captured and explains what happened. He takes care not to mention the fights he had that caused him to walk alone at night with his guard down. Instead, he focuses on explaining the torture they used as they tried to extract ATEEZ secrets while he only laughed at their attempts.

"They haven't improved at all. Truly, even the torture was weak. I was there for hours and don't even have a broken bone." He scoffs as he waves his arms around as proof.

"You shouldn't exert yourself too much. Just because you aren't broken, doesn't mean you aren't hurt. Your ribs are badly bruised, so let yourself rest, okay?" Your comments make him drop his arms, but he still doesn't respond.

In the next few days, Yunho and Hongjoong work together to train you with a specialty in mid-combat aid. Since Yunho is slower than you, he specializes in after-combat help, but the high need for a fighter-healer combination makes you push aside your feelings against violence and accept the position. You and Yunho haven't had any issues since the abduction, but your status hasn't improved much either, the only difference being that he no longer ignores you when you speak to him.

Another month passes. Your academic year comes to an end, so you begin dedicating more time to hanging out with the ATEEZ members. Rather than simply being allies, you want to be close friends with everyone. You easily become close to San, Mingi, and Wooyoung after a few late-night adventures. Seonghwa eventually starts joining in whenever he finds you and Hongjoong starting philosophical discussions. Jongho and Yeosang, although mostly quiet, slither their way into any conversation you have involving Yunho - Jongho defending him while Yeosang finds ways to insert random bits of seemingly-secret information about his older friend, most of which are negative. Although you try your hardest to befriend Yunho, he seems to refuse all your invitations and ignore any of your attempts to be friendly.

By this time, a few of the boys have started teasing you for your obsession with Yunho, claiming you like him as more than a simple friend or ally. You always refute them or joke that Yunho is obviously your best friend, which - without fail - makes one of the others upset, no matter who's around.

However, as you sit up on the roof, staring at the cloudy night sky, you begin to wonder whether you have actually grown feelings for him. After screaming out into the night, a chuckle from behind you makes you sigh before turning around to Jongho.

"You've finally realized it, haven't you?"

"No, I'm just screaming in frustration at nothing for fun, Jongho. I may have possibly realized that I may possibly..." You fade yourself out to avoid having to admit anything to anyone, especially yourself.

"He likes you. You know that, right?"

"Uh... no. He basically seems to hate me."

"God, why are you both so dumb. I caught him up here kinda-"

The door swings open to a wheezing San, "Go. Go down... Now!"

The three of you run downstairs, meeting everyone on the ninth floor, as always. Mingi shoves another sniper rifle case in your hands, and you all rush downstairs without question. It happens so fast that you and Jongho forget to grab your gear. In the van, you learn that Wooyoung went to talk with his father and negotiate with that mafia gang, but they decided to try fighting ATEEZ control by holding him hostage instead, so you all have to go fight to keep the balance and return Wooyoung to the team.

As you and Mingi set up with Yunho prepared to switch out, you hear the fighting ensue down below. You point your rifle towards the chaos and immediately find a poorly-positioned enemy sniper. Taking aim, you freeze as you recognize the sniper as none other than the boy ATEEZ wants to save.

You drop your rifle and rush down the stairs and over to the building, unaware of the man following you and screaming your name. Reaching the area where you saw Wooyoung, you're greeted at gunpoint, but you notice the fear in his shaking hands.

"Wooyoung, we came for you. What are you doing, pointing a gun at your friends?" You question without moving.

"I-I'm sorry. I love you guys, but my dad really wants me here. I don't know what to do."

Slowly, you start walking forward, convinced that the boy won't shoot you. "Woo, what do you want to do? If you want to stay in ATEEZ, stay. If you want to go with your dad, tell me now so I can tell ATEEZ to go home."

"Y/N, I want to stay. I really do. But it's hard to go back after my father's threats. I... I don't want to place you guys on his hit list." His eyes drop as he recalls the threats.

You reach down the length of his gun and grab it, moving it down slightly. "Hey. Look at me. We love you. We are out here right now risking ourselves to get you back. Don't think we aren't willing to fight."

He forces the gun back to your chest with a shake of his head, "I'm sorry. You don't know his threats."

Without recognizing the resolve in his voice, you reach out to him. The moment he feels your hand, he instinctively pulls the trigger. The next moments feel endless. As if in slow motion, you feel the intense, sharp pain in your chest, fall onto the floor, see Wooyoung fall to his knees with tears in his eyes, and see Yunho above you, rushing to help your wound. The darkness fades in and out, but you still manage to get to your feet somehow. The larger picks you up, saying something you can't make out.

By the time Yunho gets you to the safety of the van, Wooyoung already told the members that it's time to go. All the members gather in the back to hear what happened to you as the driver speeds off to the hospital. Hongjoong starts crying halfway through the explanation, grabbing Wooyoung by the collar and screaming about losing his best friend. Meanwhile, Yunho works tirelessly to ensure that you have the best chance at survival. The entire ride to the hospital is chaotic, but they're able to rush you there in time for emergency surgery.

While you're in the OR, the boys all show their nerves, especially Wooyoung and Hongjoong, who both relentlessly pace the waiting room. The others seem glued to their seats, except Yunho, who hasn't left the nearest bathroom since arriving.

"Should someone check on Yunho? Is he throwing up? Washing the blood off? Why hasn't he come out yet?" Mingi asks, despite everyone being too caught up in worry for you. After a complete lack of response, he gets up to check on Yunho himself, finding him in a very bad state.

Curled up into himself, Yunho sits on the bathroom floor, staring at his still-bloody hands. As Mingi approaches, he can see that his friend is shaking and crying. When Yunho catches sight of Mingi, he springs to his feet to grab Mingi's collar.

"Is she okay? Please tell me she's okay. It's my fault. I just stood there and watched as she spoke with Wooyoung. I should've stopped her. If she dies, I don't know what I'll do."

"Yunho, calm down. It isn't your fault. Y/N ran to Wooyoung without telling anyone what she was doing. It was a good thing that you followed her. We still haven't heard anything yet, but I felt the need to check up on you. Good thing I did, too, because you're a mess. Calm down. At the very least, wash the blood off of you." He pulls Yunho's hands off of his shirt and pulls the boy toward the sink.

Mingi helps his friend clean up, but, as they finish, Wooyoung storms in and throws up in one of the stalls, causing both of them to rush out to the waiting room, finding Hongjoong on his knees, bawling his heart out. The other boys try to be more subtle by crying into their hands. Jongho, the only one not crying, stares straight ahead into nothingness.

Rushing to Jongho, Yunho screams out, "She's not... Right? RIGHT?! She's got to be alive, right?!"

Slowly, Jongho moves his head to look at Yunho. The emptiness in his eyes stabs through Yunho before the answer deals the final blow.

"No. It was too late. She didn't make it." The monotonous voice makes Yunho fall to his knees, any remaining strength within him completely gone.

After the doctor pulls the covered bed out of the OR, it feels even more real. Hongjoong, who hasn't left the floor, puts a small effort to follow them but simply ends up flat on his stomach, crying once again, even more than before. Jongho and Mingi have to hold Yunho back from lifting the cloth to reveal your form. Wooyoung, who only came back minutes before, rushes back into the restrooms again.

Even after months, Hongjoong refuses to recruit another person for ATEEZ's elite. The group's power depletes by a significant amount, but none of the members show any care. The shock of losing a friend has made them softer, so they refuse to fight unless absolutely necessary. Yunho has admitted his feelings to the group, although nobody was surprised. Jongho explains to him how badly Yunho treated you, which makes him fall into a dark mindset after realizing that you died thinking he hated you when he simply hated that someone like you chose to risk your life constantly. Everyone works on helping each other heal, but they'll never truly be the same without you.

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pixs-pinings · 4 years

Text

Me? Interested in Persona 5? No wayyy...

Warning for long post!

I had this written differently before I accidentally closed this tab, but I recovered the infodump well!

So... Yeah, Ribbon! My Persona 5 SI, my Phantom Thief SI. Still want to work on a possible real name- I wanted to go with a continuation of the plot threads I thought of with my P4 si, but... nah. Two separate SIs. Even if P5 si was also from the real world, I want them to be different for. Reasons.

She would awaken in the same place as Makoto- Kaneshiro's palace. I want to slip her in somewhere, and I feel like that case would feel the most... Natural? After futaba, a lot of shit picks up, and, as seen with Haru, can be a bit awkward. (And... Yes. I'm going to try to make that arc...... Not Suck? Maybe keep Morgana self loathing but...)

As for her awakening itself... She and Makoto have similar reasons! Both of them were previously known as prim and proper students, but then awaken to a sense of Justice, and are able to go all out. After looking a bit into myself, I was like "wow Makoto really is sorta like how I would awaken maybe" because like... I want to fight against injustice and hatred in society, but I'm scared because of the law- and, like Makoto, in p5, I could snap past that. Fuck the law, I want to stop people from being HURT by society's ineptitude. Haha...

Also, a reason for the involvement in the first place- Kaneshiro's reach is... far. Its very possible that people in Kosei were affected- and, in fact, judging by Yusuke being able to gather information, they were. So... Say that one of Ribbon's friends were being used... selling her body, perhaps... Hmmm...

Yes, both Makoto and my p5 SI- can I call her just Ribbon for now?- are third year students at their school. Yes, for Ribbon's backstory, I think I want her to be a Kosei student! Maybe there because of an art scholarship- writing??- or maybe a financial education scholarship, or maybe just that whoever her guardians are, biological or not, they sent her to that school with the money they had. But... Third year. I am 19 irl- and she would be 18 during the majority of the story, turning 19 in that february because surprise I'm a February baby.

Oh, yes, and her costume! She's a magical girl. Supposed to be based off of one- I gave her ribbons and feathers and a poofy dress and high boots with thick soles and gloves... Also, her mask is simple, but... I had the base form of a butterfly, and added on some mask details and also feathers. The ribbons on the lower part of her dress are more noticeable, though. Hence, her name of Ribbon. Unless y'all can think of any better...

As for WHY magical girls? Well, she thought magical girls were cool! Yes, this reflects on me! Ribbon watched magical girl shows ever since she was a young child, and always got this idea of fighting off evil by using bright magic! And punches. And kicks. When Ribbon grew older, while she never grew out of it, she tried to keep it to the back of her mind. She always still kept an eye on one of the magical girl shows- hmm... Beauty Cure? Beaucure? (Yes. Based on Precure.) And it was pulled back to the front with her awakening, because that's always the type of stuff she liked believing in- a magical force of good fighting against forces of evil... OUTSIDE OF THE NORMAL FIGHT AGAINST EVIL SOCIETY TRIES TO DO... Yeah. Mhm. Doesn't that seem familiar.

Oh, yes, I'm going to call the SI by the name of Ribbon- still unsure of if I should use Pix or if I should make up a japanese name that fits a bit closer to my real one, haha.

Her role of the team is... Well, sorta like a magical girl? She has light attacks, which does include the instant kill ones later (points @ magical girls and the series having magical attacks be the magical girl's finishing move), but she also can serve another role... Providing Buffs and giving Debuffs. I mean, magical girl power ups over the season is like a buff... And their attacks debuff the enemy... I would be tempted to also give her some healing things... Maybe later. After all, there are buff moves that are like "gain all three buffs at once!" And she'll get those! So maybe she can also be the status healer...? Dunno. Haven't really watched battle gameplay of p5- even if it's fancy, its... Boring to watch. Oops. Battle dynamics...

As for who her Persona is... I haven't thought of it. I haven't even looked into it either. I was thinking... Her first Persona would be probably an ancient magical girl? Pfft. Funny to say it like that. Maybe a fictional magical girl who was definitely outside the bounds of rules. Maybe villain, maybe hero. Her second persona would... be a goddess. Not the goddess of Magic, since. (stares at Ann.) But. A goddess of something important. Light? Hmm.

Her weapon is... A staff. Kinda a stick, but also it IS something to hurt with. Swing it around, smack someone in the side or head... Use it to adjust your position... Twirling it around... A magical girl doesn't use conventional weapons.

Oh, yeah! Here's where I closed out of the tab by accident. I went to go look at something and my phone pulled a trick on me... Anyway, moving on...

Futaba Sakura is 4'11. Ribbon is 5'. Short squad! Ribbon is irritated about getting teased for it, but is indeed 18- during the story, anyway- and just... Hasn't. Grown. Makoto is 5 inches taller. Interesting.

Ribbon's (outside of battle) role is... well, data gathering, and plan pulling. Makoto thinks of the plans, and can, indeed, push them out to the team... But for group planning sessions, Ribbon is the one listening to everyone's suggestions, and then addressing them... and giving them to the leader to mull over, as well. Make sure everyone is heard.

Oh, idea there... Ribbon also, like me, used to be a theater kid! It helped her grow more used to people around her, more used to speaking, and also technical details on things. Even if she isn't all outgoing, she still shows influences of it with analogies she makes sometimes.

(Spoilers for P5... Brief Warning. Skip to next parantheses for past that spoiler gone.)

During the Phantom Thieves' plans to decieve Akechi into believing he is totally fooling them, Ribbon could easily be very important with that acting experience. While coming up with the plan, Ribbon will definitely state theater terms, backstage, actors, scene changes... And she will definitely help the others get more into character. Staring at you, Ann... For a more believable lie... pull forth a truth similar to this situation and keep that tucked next to your heart... say your lines... and then, when that's over, let it go.

(Spoilers over! Yayyy)

So. Have you guessed who i want to f/o yet? If the answer is yes, congrats, you ain't blind to subtext!

Ribbon's costume is definitely on the lighter side! And... Yes, its definitely pink based. Solid pink ribbons... Light, soft pink dress... A mainly pink mask... I do think the feathers are another color, with those little x marker things that most of the feathers belonging to sharing a similar color, though maybe a different shade. I am... Not good with costume design, though. The accents on her mask would be similar colors to it...

Her hair is black. Darker than Makoto's, yes. She is light skinned, with barely a tan forming on her. Her mask actually covers up her obvious freckles on her face! Her arms, however, still have their freckles showing. (Not in the picture, because i forget about my arm freckles a lot...) (Also not in the picture is the frills on her dress but shhhh)

As for her Confidant? Uh... Hmm... To get to know her... Oh! She can show you her art and writing, sort of brush off her achievements with it because haha not as good as Yusuke Kitagawa's more official art... And her confidant would be helping her tap more into her confident side, whether it be for her own personal projects, or even for her just in society in general! While not as bad as Futaba, she still doesn't like approaching other people... And when that happens, and maybe culminates in her verbally cussing at someone who's been pressing her down for a while now and getting them to lay off her thanks to that newfound confidence. Not a Mementos Target, though she does bring that up but brushes it off as 'just a petty bully thing', but something she deals with herself!

.... Oh, Arcana... Uh. I think... you know how the Jester arcana was like... Another version of the Fool? Wait, the Thoth deck doesn't have an alt Priestess...? Fuck. Uh. Congrats, Akira! You get SUPER DUPER PRIESTESS BONUS. ... Please help

For her Confidant Ability.... Probably something to do with her Magical Girl influnces? The first idea I thought of was like... being able to be a temporary "safe" zone- while in the palace, she could... extend her magical girl light out and create a Barrier that prevents the shadows from noticing her. It will always stay a temporary ability, of course, since otherwise would pribably negate difficulty? But the period would become longer as her confidant goes up. The period of time would be extremly cut down during the times of actually stealing a treasure- after all, the palace ruler is EXPECTING the phantom thieves. No amount of magical girl protecting light would hide that expectation... Or. Something like that.

Also, her last skill. Instead of being like... Making the ability of protecting/anti detecting light last practically forever, its a SUPER STRONG BATTLE ABILITY. What is it? Well... uh... Still have to decide. My current idea has to do with a magical girl blast. Like, activate her light ability right as you get into a battle, and that actually does something- fires a big blast as the battle starts and inflicts damage on the enemy... Hmm. That, or she gets a special version of the all out attack that always kills? Has to be her leading the all out attack, though. What do y'all think...?

Oh, speaking of all out attacks! Hers (or her normal one if I go with the second idea in the above paragraph) would have her landing, spinning around, and doing a sharp "v" pose with her fingers, standing tall and with a grin. Think... Uh... Sailor Moon? I looked up some images and a few I found, with the peace sign arm outstretched, fit that mental image. The other hand would be on her hip, and, of course, she would be winking. Ah, girl vibes.

Yes. I am aware that could be similar to Ann. When i thought of it, i was like "hmmm" but then was like "I do that! and also there's a different between a lean and a wink with the peace sign to your chin rather than a stand/slight slouch and a wink and a peace sign held upward rather than close to the body"

Also, her little line in the background would be "light has prevailed!" In like... Bubbly letters? And it looks like light is shining from behind the letters.

Sure, Ribbon would have a romance route with Akira... but I don't consider that canon. It would make sense that he could POSSIBLY fit my type? But. Nah. Not SUPER attached. Pal at most. Speaking from outside here... In game, with the friendship forming? Maybe so. Anyway, not canon.

Oh my god i just realized Queen and Ribbon have like... Opposite sorta aesthetics. Dark Biker to Light Mage.

Anything else I can think of... Oh, a spoilerly thing.

(I don't believe I can think of anything else to say, so for those who want to be unspoiled on certain things in p5, end of post is the next paranthesis. For others...)

For her reaction to the announcement of Akira's "suicide", it would be something like... Well... A hand to her mouth, and a furrow to her brow... but she doesn't sound like she is going to cry. Instead, she goes, "Ah...", like... Realizing. Like a "hmmm" tone instead of one trying to hold back tears. And then like... Ryuji's scene is after that. And those of you who have seen the scene know what the scene is. So like, if the player was confused by Ribbon, Ryuji smacks them with a direct confirmation.

(And... That's it! Sorry for the long post, I am both unsure of if the read more code trick works on mobile anymore and also am unsure of, if it does work, which version of the trick is the correct one. Because i remember two different versions. Fuck.)

#long post #ribbon the phantom magical thief girl #hahahahaha #self insert #whoops.#also the more i think about it the more i think it may not be obvious. so... guess!

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omoghouls · 5 years

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Waaaaaait you like the 9th doctor? He's my favourite!!!! I know you don't really talk about Doctor Who on here, but imagine - he tries to present himself as the big tough cool doctor, the one who isn't phased by ANYTHING... But his relationship with Rose is still very new at the time, and he doesn't want the pretty girl to know that he has a suuuuper shy bladder... Which becomes a problem when they're constantly around each other, he has to keep an eye on her while they're in new places...

👀👀👀 OH MAN NONNY little fact, on my first kink blog all I posted was Doctor Who omo drawings and fics😂

But omgg y e s tho? Like, he wants to come off as cool and his shy bladder is eventually going to take a jab at that(or so he feels it will) so Rose gets curious about Timelord's, asking questions like if he can get human illnesses (like, colds and stuff) and he answers to the best of his expertise, it gets to more basic things, eating and drinking then eventually it gets to the question he lowkey was hoping she would skip, "So I'm guessing you need to use the loo as well then?"

And the Doctor sorta wants to brush over it, giving a slight shrug and loose ended answer of "Occasionally" and sorta bounces from that onto a new topic (probably about where they're heading next)

The thing with Timelord's is that they do have to go but, their bodies metabolize stuff at a slower rate so, he /can/ go days without needing to pee. But, eventually he'll need to and holding it off until the last minute isnt normally something he does however, he and Rose got a bit lost on a planet (intentionally😂) and while they're exploring that's when the need hits the leather jacket cladded Doctor.

It's not urgent at first, he's able to brush it off, thinking that when he brings Rose back home he'll take care of it. However, he overestimated just how much there was to see on the planet and he cant help but adore the doe eyed curiosity on Rose's face while she looks at these new surroundings. He ofc doesnt want to leave her side, he knows these places have lingering dangers that seem to like to pop up when he and his blue box pop in.

So he sticks close by. The thing about that is that Rose is also able to watch the Doctor as well and she starts to notice how he's began to shift idly, the way he's fiddling around with the ends of his jacket. She raises her brow out of curiosity and concern, maybe she ask him point blank if something is wrong and the Doctor quickly says no, perhaps a biiiit to quick. So now Rose is watching the Doctor, she has a hunch about what's wrong but, she isnt going to flat out ask him yet.

Eventually, the urge becomes the active thoughts of the Doctor, he knows if he doesnt go soon there is going to be a very embarrassing situation on hand. But when he even thinks about saying or finding a bush or w/e his bladder just instantly freezes up and he just c a n t and he has fears of leaving Rose alone for even a couple minutes, especially on a planet such as this.

Okay but hear me out- theyre on their way back to the tardis and he's on the verge of wetting himself, his cool/stoic exterior is starting to crumble with every painful step he takes, accidentally letting out a soft distressed noise when his bladder spills just enough to make his briefs damp. Rose is ofc concerned and doesnt want the timelord to be hurting himself! So she tries to cox him to go and that's when he breathlessly admits to his little problem.

Rose is sweet and caring and wants to help so maybe she takes him by the hand and shuffles them over to a secluded place and tries to help relax him enough to go (because she has a sneaking suspicion he wouldn't make it back to the tardis dry if they didnt stop) eventually the small back rubs and soft words have the Doctor relaxed enough to where he is able to go, mind you his face is beet red, humiliated that he needed help with such a simple thing such as urinating. Rose can see his brows furrowed in contemplation so when he's done she stands on her tip-toes and kisses his temple- that pretty quickly gets him out of his mind and he gives a small smile and thanks before they restart their trek back and Rose is like "Anytime"💖

#Omorashi #omocute #m #can u tell I loev rose and the doctor lmao

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nightshade-imagines · 7 years

Note

teen!sibling with uf papy, maybe sans too. The ut skelebros come say hi in underfell. We all know uf papy doesn't give much affection to sibling, so when they saw ut papy, well they hug him most of the time. sibling gives some hugs to ut sans and doesn't neglect their bros,but yeah they are always with ut pap. does uf papy is jealous ? does he doesn't care ? :3c (for uf sans, I hc him giving many affection to his sibling, but I don't know for you, it's up to you if you want to do him as well ;D)

I hope you don’t mind, I took this opportunity to explain more about the Underfell brother’s relationship with their honorary sibling. Also, it sort of came out like a prompt, because I have no self-control. (Note: Undertale Papyrus’ dialogue will be in bold)

⭐UF Bros

If you do manage to become like a sibling to Underfell Papyrus, he will kind of demand your attention and he gets kind of invasively involved in your life, so there isn’t really a lack of “attention”. He is still extremely tsundere about it though; often playing things off like you were the one who suggested hanging out or that he’s only hanging out with you because he is being merciful and gracing you with his presence (When in reality he’s extremely possessive of the people close to him and worries a lot; that actually being one of the reasons that he’s so controlling). Boss almost seemed offended the first time he found out that you have other human friends (Kind of like Swapfell Sans except Boss can control his jealously better and he does except them eventually because they seem to make you happy). Boss’ real soft side usually shows when either you or Red get sick or hurt. I have this silly headcanon that Boss actually has a pretty strong maternal instinct for the people he cares about. He’s just had to suppress it for years because of having to look tough in front of others and because he’s naturally extremely vain and is embarrassed of looking soft. Still, you are the only person that he ever let’s call him Papy, even in public (Red still prefers Boss and Paps). Boss actually kind of likes taking care of the people he loves, that’s also why he’s so persistent about you and Sans eating his cooking. It’s a way for him to feel like he’s providing for you without having to worry about looking weak. As far as Red goes, yes, he is more openly affectionate with you than his brother. His affection coming out more like that of a jerky older brother who really does love you in the end. Though he’s still not the most cuddly person (unless falling asleep on you to annoy you counts). A few ways that he shows he cares about you are: Randomly bringing you takeout if he thinks you haven’t eaten, inviting you to Grillby’s with him, actively trying to make you laugh and standing behind you and glaring at your friends (you don’t actually know about that last part). He’s also more likely to let you lean against him while you’re watching TV on the couch, or to wrap and arm around your shoulder.

You were pretty shocked by the arrivals of these “Alternate Universe” versions of your friends. They defiantly seemed…softer? Boss actually seemed a little annoyed by their visit, but he was keeping his mouth shut. Red seemed to be getting along well with his counterpart though. After Red introduced you as, “Sorta like our annoyin’ little Sib”, this new Papyrus scooped you into a hug and exclaimed that any friend of “The Fells” was a friend of theirs! You ended up spending most of the night with this new Papyrus, and you has to admit, he was pretty cool. He was so sweet and openly caring, and while you know that your Papyrus does really care about you, you still can’t help but really enjoy this newcomer’s company and warmheartedness. This new Sans was pretty cool as well, you didn’t spend quite as much time with him as you did with the new Papyrus, but he was really chill. Things went pretty smoothly most of the night but you didn’t miss the subtle animosity that Boss seemed to hold towards the new brothers, specifically towards his sweet-tempered alter ego. Boss stood angrily over the stove, preparing dinner as he listened to you happily laughing and talking with his pathetic doppelganger in a way he’s only ever heard you talk to Red (Who is out at Grillby’s with his doppelganger at the momqent). You never usually have any hesitation or fear when it came to talking to Boss (even when teasing him) but he still tended to be a bit harder to hold a cheery conversation or goof around with, something he himself even knew. Yet there you were, seemingly as comfortable as ever hanging out with this alternate version of himself and acting completely enamored by that naive buffoon’s disposition. If anything, you should be less comfortable considering the inferiority of this alternate, and yet, you choose to spend the whole night spending time with that cheep imitation! What does he have that Boss doesn’t!?! Boss was pulled from his train (crash) of thought by the sound of your bubbly laughter and when he peeked around the corner he was met with the sight of his clone holding you from under the arms and spinning you around the room as the two of you giggled happily. That was it, the wooden spoon he was holding snapped in two as he clenched his fists angrily. He stomped up to the two of you and pulled you from tale!paps arms, setting you down beside him, “ENOUGH OF THIS TOMFOOLERY!”, “Aww, common, paps, we were just messing around”, “INDEED, THE HUMAN AND I HAVE HAD AN EXCELLENT TIME BONDING!” This only seemed to agitate him more, “WELL IT WILL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL ANOTHER TIME! HUMAN, GO TO BED!”, you cocked an eyebrow at him, “What?”, “YOU HEARD ME, UPSTAIRS NOW!”, “Alright, first of all; it is only 9pm, and second; I don’t even live hear!” “STOP MAKING EXCUSES! I’M SURE THAT YOUR FRAGILE HUMAN BODY IS IN NEED OF RECHARGING OR SOMETHING ANYWAYS!” You were then scooped up by Boss and carried upstairs into the guest bedroom and plopped onto the bed. Boss then quickly and aggressively tucked you in. You attempted to crawl out as he was walking away only for him turn around and give you a hard glare so you quickly laid back down. He squinted at you and then gave a firm nod before walking out the door, leaving you there wondering what the heck just happened. You did end up falling asleep and the next morning Red filled you in on everything that happened. The two new brother went home shortly after you “went” to bed and that Tale!Papyrus was pretty bummed that he didn’t get to say goodbye. You felt the same way but Red assured you that you had not seen the last of them. Red also filled you in on exactly why Boss acted the way he did and it all clicked with you. When Boss entered the kitchen, he stopped and eyed you for a second before nodding and heading over to the stove to start breakfast. You heard him take a deep breath, “SO…DID YOU SLEEP WELL, HUMAN?”, you could hear him cringe at his own words as he seemingly tried to be friendly? “I-I guess…thanks for letting *coughmakingcough* me stay the night”, he turned back and glared at you for that comment, then took another breath and quickly went back to cooking. Red looked back and forth between the two of you then stood up, “Welp, I’m going to Grillby’s?”, “SANS, NO, YOU ARE STAYING FOR BREAKFAST! I’M MAKING EGGS BENID-GRRR!” Before Boss could stop his brother, Red short-cut out of there in a flash, making Boss growl with frustration and stomp his foot on the ground. Things were defiantly awkward between the two of you so you decided to finally break the silence and say something, *sigh* “Papyrus, are you mad at me me?”, this certainty seemed to catch his attention, “WHAT? NO!”, “Oh, good”. More awkward silence, “So you really were just jealous?”, you smirk at him when you say this, “WHAT OF COURSE NOT!” His quick response makes you laugh, “Good, because The Great and Terrible Papyrus, shouldn’t have anything to be jealous about!”, he folds his arms proudly, “YES, OF COURSE! NOW IF YOU ARE DONE ASKING QUESTIONS, BREAKFAST IS READY!”, “Nice!”, you take a plate from him, “We should catch MTT’s morning broadcast while we eat!”, he nods, “VERY WELL, GO GET IT ON, I’LL BE IN IN A MOMENT!”, “Oh, and one more thing”, you usher him to come down to your level and he complies curiously, “HMM?”, *kiss* “Thanks, Bro”. You smile victoriously and skip into the living room with you breakfast. Boss stands frozen in the kitchen with one of his hands clasped over his cheek where you kissed him and his face goes red. You again smile and wave him over, “Common, we don’t want to miss anything!” Yeah, you’re defiantly lucky he has a soft spot for you.

#undertale imagines #undertale #underfell #i spent way to long on this #Seriously though

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fakingitfanfiction · 7 years

Text

Her Latest Flame Chapter 19: Four Seconds

Previous Chapters

Reagan thinks it, but she doesn't say it and yes, she does realize that pretty much covers most of the reasons for most of the trouble for most of the last few years of her life.

(So many mosts.) (Too many.)

But, really, she just can’t bring herself to say it, even though the words are right there, dancing on the tip of her tongue, and yes, before you even ask, she does know that things dancing on her tongue or, maybe, her tongue dancing on things, is pretty much all the reasons for all the troubles for all the last few years of her life.

(Maybe most was better.)

So Reagan thinks it - thanks for coming, I wasn’t sure you would - but she doesn’t say it, cause, when it comes right down to it, meeting your ex in a diner, in the middle of the night, just to talk about your other ex (the one this ex hates) (and you can’t blame her?) is lousy enough already, without adding in crappy, cliched rom-com dialogue, especially when said diner is the very same diner where you and that ex (the one you are meeting, not the one you wish you were) had your first date.

And thinking that makes Reagan think this: She’s living in a fucking country song.

And also this: Amy would love this place. Killer doughnuts.

And also also this:

She fucking sucks.

(Which ‘she’? Take your fucking pick.)

All of that is weighing on her, physically pressing down on her, it’s a clammy hand of the undead (the nasty zombie kind and not the supa hot, she can put her hand wherever she wants Carmilla kind) on the back of her neck, holding her head down so she can’t even look up as Heather slips into the booth across from her. But then, Reagan doesn’t have to actually see her to make it all so much worse.

Just knowing she’s there, that she drove out in the middle of the night, leaving what’s her name (like Reagan doesn't remember) alone at home, probably in bed, their bed - as in Reagan’s and Heather’s cause she got the bed in the split and that’s always sorta pissed Rea off cause it was a nice fucking bed - but, she supposes, it’s probably some kind of poetic justice or karma (ugh) or some shit like that cause Heather might have gotten the bed (and their friends) (and the fluffy towels) (and Reagan’s copy of Paul’s Boutique on vinyl), but Reagan got here, she got the diner with those killer doughnuts and the awesome milkshakes and that one really hot waitress with the extremely nice ass.

So, it's fine. It's all good. It’s totally fair and that’s her story and she’s totes sticking to it, right up until…

“I didn’t know you still came here.”

Reagan sighs the sigh of the truly defeated cause that’s what she is, that’s what she's been ever since the word 'college’ came out of Amy’s mouth years ago and she’s just so tired of fighting it and losing. Cause that’s what this is, a loss. That’s what getting caught in a lie (even if said lie was only in her head) by her ex, the one she called because there was no one else she could, is and, to make matters worse (cause that’s what she does), Reagan’s realizing now, she’s doing the mental math and - if you include the ten or so words over the phone and those seven - this is the longest conversation she and Heather have had in years.

And yes, that might actually include when they were together, at least the last six months or so.

She’s supposed to follow up the sigh with an actual, you know, answer. She remembers the polite polka well enough, the two step around the awkward, the tentative toe stuck in the pool before they dive in. Reagan knows she’s supposed to say something, she’s supposed to show Heather that it’s safe and it’s sound and it’s all… well… not good, but a step or two (two and a half, maybe) up from bad. She knows she should, but she doesn’t remember how.

Maybe, she thinks, that’s why she and Amy skipped the talking and went straight to the fucking.

Yup. That’s why.

Somehow, she doesn’t think 'straight to the fucking’ will work with Heather, but then, neither will the truth. A polite 'sometimes’ might swing, but honesty? The 'I don’t come here and I haven’t come here once since you and the cheating whore… the other cheating whore… up and left and took my everything with you’ truth?

Yeah, that doesn’t exactly scream 'the water’s fine, come on in’.

So, the truth is out and the polite lie is just one lie too many so that only leaves… “Why did you answer? When I called. I didn’t think you would.”

(Changing the subject.) (Good plan.) (Changing it to something else might have been better.)

Heather nods and fidgets with her menu, her fingers scratching over the cheap laminated pages like Reagan working a needle on vinyl. It’s a small, simple gesture, a habit she had long before they were even a couple and - clearly - long after. But small or not, what it is is familiar, so much so that it almost physically hurts. It’s a sharp thing, that pain, a razored knife tip slicing between her shoulder blades and Reagan recognizes it instantly, knows it well, she can call it by name.

It’s the quick and burning rush of almost.

That’s almost as in this was almost her life. Her and Heather and their diner and sitting across from each other, barely speaking, their few actual words nothing more than shallow lies cause neither of them wants to be the one to drop the hammer of truth and shatter the glass. That’s almost as in they almost made it and even if Reagan knows that actually making it might not have been best (see: barely speaking and truth hammers) that somehow doesn’t make it hurt any less.

She can’t help wondering if Heather feels it too, if every time she looks at her, she thinks 'I was almost enough.’ For her sake, Reagan hopes not. And, maybe, a little for her own sake, too.

You know, guilt and all.

She’s had quite enough of that, lately.

So why did she answer? Why did Heather pick up when she had every reason - almost all of them being the woman sleeping right next to her - not to?

“I almost didn’t,” she says, her eyes darting quickly from the menu to Reagan and then back again. Her fingers are still shuffling across it and it’s all Reagan can do not to reach out and take Heather’s hand in her own, if only to stop the movement. “You remember how I could never keep my phone on my side of the bed?”

Reagan nods. They’d learned that lesson early on when Heather had snoozed her alarm six times and ended up two hours late for work.

(And if only one of those hours was because of the snoozing and the other was more… awake related?) (Yeah, Reagan’s not thinking about that.)

“She saw it first,” Heather says and Reagan doesn’t ask who she is cause, well, duh. “Your name on the caller ID. She almost wouldn’t give me the phone, said it was probably a drunk dial.” She stares down at the menu, her hands stilling on the table. “I knew better.”

Heather says 'better’ but Reagan hears 'you’ and yeah, either one would be true.

“There’s only two reasons you would have called me,” Heather says, her tone oh so matter of fact, so totally certain. “Only two things that could have upset you so much that I was the best port in the storm.” She slides the menu out from under her hands, folding them together on the table. “One’s your mom. But the anniversary was three months ago and you always do mostly OK, except for right before and right after, so I figured that wasn’t it.”

Reagan is so very very proud of herself that she doesn’t react, not in the slightest, to the sudden realization that yeah, Heather does still know her. But when she doesn’t correct her, when she doesn’t say 'oh, it was about my mom’, Reagan hears Heather react, she hears her sigh, feels her pull back, sinking down into the booth and she knows the next words, before they’re even spoken.

“It’s Amy, isn’t it?”

Isn’t it? Isn’t it always?

“It’s funny,” Heather says, though she’s not laughing. “Those are almost the words you said. To her, remember? That day she came knocking on our door?”

It’s Karma, isn’t it?

Heather shuffles back, squaring herself against the seat, tugging one leg up against her chest, almost like a shield. “I think I knew, even then. When I saw you two… anyone could see how much she wanted you.”

“She wanted someone who wasn’t Karma,” Reagan says, the speed and force of the words rushing out of her surprising even her. “I was just the best option.”

Best. Only. One most likely to say yes who wasn’t headed off to rehab. Take your pick. Again.

Heather doesn’t buy it and Reagan knows it, but who or what Amy wanted then, is so far far far removed from the point now, that’s it not worth an argument. “I knew it had to be her,” Heather says. “Didn’t know the details or the specifics… who did what with whom or to whom or, you know, whatever… but I didn't have to. It was Amy. And you. And that was enough.”

If only. If only Amy and her had ever been… enough.

“You want to tell me what happened?”

In a word? No.

In another word? Nope. Or perhaps 'nuh uh’ (technically two, but who’s counting.) No matter what word - or words - you choose, it all boils down to the same thing. Reagan doesn't want to tell her. In fact, Heather might be the last person Reagan would ever want to tell, but she is still the person she called and whether that was a moment of weakness, a moment of drunkenness, or just the biggest brain fart in the history of brains passing gas, it’s still a fact.

And the other facts? Well… they probably won’t surprise Heather too much.

“I hurt her,” Reagan says. She’s proud of herself (again) for not speaking softly, for not trying to mumble her way through the litany of her sins. She fucked up, but she’s not gonna go and compound the fuck up - any more than she already has - by being quiet about it. She’s gonna own it. For once. “And I slept with her. And that hurt someone else. Maybe even worse.”

She pauses for a moment. Shakes her head.

Fucking own it.

“Not maybe,” she says. “Worse.” She pauses again, letting herself really think about it, maybe for the first time. Considering the damage done and not just to her or to Amy or to her and Amy, or whatever chances that ever had. But to Sophie.

To Sophie and Amy. You know, the actual relationship here.

Fuck. Just… fuck.

It all comes in a rush, a flood, a wave that swamps her and damn near drowns her and Reagan swears she can feel the water rising, up over her boots and to her knees, her legs gone heavy, like lead, weighing her down, trapping her in place. It’s not guilt or at least it’s not just guilt, not by itself cause, well, that would be simple, right? And this?

This is anything but simple. Or so she keeps telling herself. But, really, isn’t it? Isn’t it as simple as… a bouncing fucking ball?

Cause there it is, bounding along in her mind and Reagan can’t help following it, watching in her mind’s eye as it goes bouncing down the road, a poorly lit and pot-holed all to hell thing, but that ball, it just keeps right on going, skipping past that one day with Amy - far far too fast, if you ask Reagan, but then, nobody does - and then past that night with Sophie and now, she thinks, a bit more of that speed would be kinda nice.

Careful what you wish for. Cause now it’s practically leaping along, almost flying its way through all those nights with Heather, which at least keeps Reagan from having time enough to debate the 'with’ of it all - cause let’s face it, she was never really there - and then it slows, it lingers, it rolls on through those couple months, that teeny (in the grand scheme of things) speck of time that was her trying over and over and over again, in all the wrong places and with all the even wronger faces, to convince herself that ending it, breaking it off - dumping Amy - was the right thing to do.

And there it is again. That almost. Cause, even now, Reagan only almost believes it. ’

“It’s all my fault,” she says, her voice still strong and loud and maybe someday she’ll be proud of herself for that, but someday is so not today. “Everything. You. Me. Amy and Sophie and… it’s all on me.” She can see it now, so fucking clearly. Every step of the way, every easy choice she had and every wrong choice she made.

Including this one.

Reagan shakes her head and scrambles from the booth, cracking her knee against the tabletop and her shin on the edge of the booth, neither slowing her, not in the slightest. “I shouldn’t have called you,” she says and the fact that she can’t manage to look Heather in the eye is more than evidence for her to know she's right. “I shouldn’t have… well… a lot. But I can’t change that, I can’t undo what I already did or didn’t do. All I can do now…”

Is what she does.

Run.

It might not seem it, but Reagan knows she learned a lot from Amy.

For example, she learned that she is, sometimes, a bit… judgemental. And, just maybe, her expectations are a little out of whack. And, perhaps, she doesn’t trust as much or as easily as she should.

She didn’t say she learned anything good. Or anything that she actually, you know, might have done anything about.

But, as is quite fucking clear now, one thing she didn’t learn from Amy, like at all?

How to run.

Heather catches up to her by her truck and, in this case, 'catches up’ totally means gets there at just about the same time, maybe like three steps behind, which is only enough time for Reagan to slam her fist into the truck’s door the one time before Heather is right there, catching her wrist in her hand.

“I don’t think getting in a fistfight with Lightning is going to solve anything,” she says - almost whispers, almost right in Reagan’s ear - holding fast to the other woman’s arm. “And haven’t you punished her enough with that name?”

Reagan can feel the wait in the air, the expectation of the snarky comeback or the reminder that Lightning is a boy (she’s a lesbian, not a charter member of the 'All Men Suck Brigade’), the hope that floats along on Heather’s words that - maybe - there’s still just a shred of normal left between them.

There’s not.

Reagan pulls her hand free and turns away, pressing her back up hard against the truck, arms crossed over her chest and, if Heather didn’t know better, she might actually think Reagan was trying to get away. But she does. Know better, that is.

Rea not getting in the truck and speeding off into the night is kind of a good clue.

Heather leans her back against Lightning’s door, shoving her hands in her pockets just to avoid copying Reagan’s stance entirely. She’s not sure what to say - though not for lack of things she wants to say - and so they stand there in silence for a few moments, until those moments, they stretch to minutes and then those minutes stretch to minutes and she figures she ought to say something before they end up standing there watching the fucking sun rise.

“I always wished it was me,” she says. “I wished it was me that you loved like you love her.”

She hears the long slow shudder of breath that slips from Reagan and OK, maybe she ought to have said something else.

But, in for a penny, in for a may as well get all the shit off your chest, right?

“I remember so many nights,” Heather says, her eyes glued to the few stars twinkling above the diner’s roof. “It would be the dead of the night and you’d be sleeping so soundly, wrapped in my arms and I’d think to myself that maybe, just maybe… I really was the one. That maybe we had what you'd thought you had with her.”

Reagan would like to tell her that she thought the same.

There’s been enough lies lately though, don’t you think?

Heather lets her eyes fall, unable to stand the glow of life, so very far away, anymore. “And then you’d shift and you’d breathe and you'd…” She stares at the ground, scuffing her shoe against the gravel of the lot. “And you’d murmur her name.”

When she was little, Reagan’s mother read her stories every night before bed. Tales full of true happiness and true love and lives fulfilled. Princesses blessed with true love’s kisses - and she should have known when every one of them had to have a fucking prince - but in this moment, right here and right now? Reagan does know.

Fucking fairy tales, that’s all those were. Fucking fiction. And real life? It isn’t even close.

Not even almost.

“I used to hate you for that,” Heather says and Reagan can’t blame her, not even a little. “And I used to hate Amy even more. I couldn’t understand how I couldn’t be enough for you, why you couldn’t just be happy with me.”

“I should have been,” Reagan says, and this time it is a whisper and yeah, that’s probably got a lot to do with it also being a lie.

Heather turns, leaning her shoulder against the truck, her eyes flaming bright in the dark. “You couldn’t have been, Rea. You could have tried… you did try… but it was never, ever going to work. It couldn’t. Because I’m not her.”

“She’s not -”

“She is.” Heather cuts her off and even now, Reagan recognizes that tone. “She is and she always has been. She always will be.” She turns again, facing Lightning, her head resting against the cool glass of his window. “Do you remember how Jessie was such a morning person?”

Reagan nods. Morning person didn’t really cut it. Ass crack of dawn person was more like it. She used to wake them all up, every fucking day, clanking and clanging around in the kitchen and yeah, they got quite a few awesome breakfasts out of it but more sleep always outweighs pancakes.

OK. Maybe not always. But usually.

“The first time we slept together,” Heather says, “that’s when I knew.” She knows it’s probably bad form to talk to the woman you cheated on about the woman you cheated with, but she also knows that Reagan called her about Amy, so fuck form. “Not slept together slept together, but really slept. I already knew I was falling, I knew what I felt for her was… I knew it would be the end of you and me. But that night… that morning… that was when I knew.”

Reagan doesn’t ask 'knew what?’ but she doesn’t get into the truck and leave either and so that’s as good as asking.

“I woke up in the morning and there’s that moment, you know? Those four seconds between waking and your brain actually kicking in?” She doesn’t wait for Reagan to nod, cause, really, everyone knows those four seconds. “When I woke, she was gone and four seconds later, I knew she was just in the kitchen and she’d probably come back with something yummy, but for those four seconds…”

Seconds. Reagan knows from experience - from far too many mornings waking up alone even when someone was right next to her - that those seconds? They’re a fucking eternity.

“I thought she’d left me,” Heather says and Reagan just can’t miss - no matter how much she tries - the pain in her voice at just the thought. “I thought she’d realized that you were right and I wasn’t worth it or she’d suddenly remembered her religion or… I don’t know… maybe I snored.”

It doesn’t take four seconds - only about one and a half - for Reagan to come to the conclusion that mentioning that yes, Heather does, in fact, snore (like a motherfucking Abrams tank) is not the best choice right now.

Heather runs a hand along the glass of the window, tracing the foggy pattern of her breath. “I got it then,” she says. “I got you. When my heart started beating again and I could breathe, it hit me.” She turns, letting that hand drop onto Reagan’s arm, and old familiar touch. “Those four seconds were the most painful thing I had ever felt. I know that sounds… I don’t know, a bit stupid, maybe. But that fear… that panic… it lingered and even when I knew it was ridiculous, it still sat there, like a weight on my chest.”

Reagan glances at her hand, but doesn’t move it or move away. “And that explained me, how?”

A horn blares in the distance and Heather jumps - almost like she’s afraid of getting caught or something - and Reagan wonders just for a moment, how Jessie felt about her coming here, in the middle of the night, for her.

She hopes it hurt. At least a little.

“I jumped her as soon as she came back in the room,” Heather says. “I had to. I needed her that much, needed that fear and that pain to just… stop. And it did. Because she was there.”

Anvil. Meet head.

“It never could have been me, Reagan. Not for you,” Heather says. “And never you for me, either, as it turns out. But I understood you then, I got it, I got why you couldn’t just let it… let her go. I felt all that for four seconds.” Her hand squeezes Reagan’s arm and it’s meant to be comforting. Really it is. “You felt it… you feel it… every minute of every day.”

Every day without Amy.

Reagan pulls her arm away and this time, she knows how to run. She tugs open the passenger side door (driver’s side tends to stick) and climbs into Lightning, pausing only when she feels Heather’s hand capture her wrist once more.

“I know what you think, Rea. I know you think you did this. All of it.” Her hand slides down, her fingers slipping between Reagan’s. “And you’re not… entirely wrong. But just because it’s gone this way, that doesn’t mean it has to end this way.” She might be right, maybe, except Reagan’s pretty sure it already ended and maybe not this way but with a ringing phone and a flying punch and with - yet again - Amy running.

And even if she didn’t do that, she didn't stop it - she couldn’t stop it - either.

Heather doesn’t seem quite so sure. “You don’t have to end up alone in a diner or running off to find some cheap meaningless whatever in a bar. Or even trying too hard with some wonderful girl who maybe, might have, possibly could have been the one.” She pauses, ever the drama queen. “If you didn’t already have a one.”

Reagan’s hand pulls free and she slides over behind the wheel. “I don't have a one, remember? Amy ran. Again.” She leaves off the 'because of me, again’ cause she really doesn’t feel like crying again tonight. “That’s what she does. Every time.”

She swings the door shut - almost - but then Heather is there, half in and half out, leaning in across Lightning’s seat. “You’re right. She does. And every time? You let her.”

Her foot’s on the brake, her hand on the key, and Reagan freezes in place. “I what?”

Heather slips back, sliding from the truck. Reagan can hear her feet hit the ground, a solid thud against the pavement. “You let her. Maybe you think you should or maybe you think it’s what you deserve. Maybe you think it’s what you get for being so quick to push her away the first time. I don’t know.”

She doesn’t. But she suspects Reagan might.

Her hand grips the door and for just a moment, Heather looks at it, at her fingers clutching tight to the metal. She’s going to close it. She’s going to slam it shut and she’s going to walk away and Reagan’s going to peel on out of there and she knows - when that happens - well… then this won’t be happening again. And that's… well…

It’s almost too much for her.

But not quite.

“Maybe it was someone suggesting she wasn’t gay enough,” Heather says, closing the door just a bit. “Or maybe it was her own confusion or her feelings for that Karma girl.” She leans on the door, feeling it slipping past her. “Or maybe it was just… fear. The fear that someone else she loved wouldn’t see her as enough. Again.”

She’s talking about Amy. She swears she is.

Heather swings the door almost closed, holding it still at just the last inch and yeah, she’s a total fucking drama queen, but she’s pretty OK with that. “Every single time, Amy’s had something to run from,” she says, pressing the door tight, feeling it latch. “Ever wonder what might happen if you gave her something to run to?”

#faking it #faking it fanfiction #reamy #oc #update #submission #secretmonkey #Her Latest Flame

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