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kindlespark · 2 months

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this is gonna be SO long and rambly sorry anyway i saw a post abt how babel does queer characters and it got me thinking abt why the tropes it uses would usually turn me off other stories but didn’t here

MAJOR BABEL SPOILERS //

i feel like i’d be more mad abt how robinramy ended up in babel if it marketed itself as queer lit at all or if its fans were going “WOW AMAZING QUEER REP” abt it. but no one told me any of that, so finding out they were gay was just a fun little bonus surprise to me. i get why ppl are eh abt robinramy not getting together/technically still being subtext (which i dont think is really true btw like the book literally says “robin was falling in love” but idk i guess if you were stupid you might’ve assumed that it was falling in love with oxford given how romantic some of the other language is (WHICH IS ALSO THE POINT bc i think robin’s friendship with ramy blurring into romance is why he romanticised like all his friendships/experiences in oxford BUT IM GETTING OFF-TOPIC)). i just think robin’s repression abt being gay was intrinsically tied to his attitudes on imperialism (wrt refusing to acknowledge anything that complicated his life until it was too late) and i don’t consider it a cop out or queerbait. like i genuinely don’t think robinramy could ever have gotten together without drastic alterations being made in terms of plot and character. plus i think it’s clear that kuang didn’t want to write a story with any kind of focus on romance at all, because it’s not that kind of book. there’s no successful het romance either, so it grates a lot less. the only reason romance is included at all is to show the ways in which white entitlement manifests. so the tragic way robinramy played out just made sense to me.

and i speak as someone who accidentally spoiled myself on You Know What in the middle of reading and i was like ugghh boooo dreading it the whole time expecting to roll my eyes when it happened but then when it did i was like. wow im actually not that mad LMFAO 😭😭😭 actually thematically the book sets it up so well that i believed that this was unfortunately the only way it could’ve gone. babel is about the loss and tragedy and grief that colonised people experience. it’s about the lengths people will go to to uphold empire and the lengths ppl will go to to tear it down like idk 😭 i guess it is bury your gays but it didnt bother me this time because i thought it fit thematically ❤️ i enjoy tragedy as a genre a lot and i would’ve made it gay anyway you know. thanks rf kuang for doing it for me so i didnt have to.

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY that i guess if you’re going into babel for the queer rep without appreciating that the story is fundamentally a tragedy it would feel like it’s just reusing tired tropes….. but i think the choices kuang made were rly deliberate and not in a way that feels like trauma porn or shock value. the book is fundamentally about the struggles of poc so the layer of queerness that was introduced felt like a subtle extension of the experiences of characters of colour in the book, and i enjoyed and related to it as a queer chinese person who kind of realised they had to prioritise their fight for the liberation of poc over queerness mainly because the idea of western queer liberation cannot be dissociated from imperialism and many aspects of homophobia as we know it was an export of christian european empire into our colonised countries in the first place and FUCK THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER TANGENT ABOUT HOW I THINK RAMY AS A CHARACTER IS EMBLEMATIC OF THE TENSION AND STRUGGLE THAT QUEER POC DIASPORA HAVE BETWEEN OUR IDENTITIES GODDAMNIT OK FORGET IT POST CANCELLED i just rly think babel’s handling of queer characters is fine and makes sense and i like it personally and maybe i will make a coherent analysis about it one day but that day is not today byeeeeeee

#/#//#sam speaks #byeeee ive been trying to type this post for over an hour but i give up #slashes are there bc i dont want it to show up in the main tag it’s rly incoherent and also subjective #babel #babel spoilers

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olderthannetfic · 7 months

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hii! does anybody have any advice on how to feel okay with not having friends? i spent years abroad, so in the meantime my irl friends from hs found other friends to hang out with who they seem to like more than me or else are very busy with work and uni and such. which is cool, good for them for having such a vibrant social life, but it feels like they have no room for me anymore and i'm a person who can't make friends that easily. i don't drink or smoke, and i feel uncomfortable in big gatherings and feel better getting to know ppl one-on-one over a longer period of time, but that makes it hard for me to connect to ppl bc most irl people don't have much patience or already have their own established friend group and little old me doesn't hold their attention.

i'm starting a new job in a couple of weeks, so hopefully that will give me the necessary social interaction plus i have a great family, so i'm not going stir crazy, it just hurts a little that my friends don't bother to text me for days if i don't text them first or invite me out to places. and i'm trying to make new friends, it just doesn't come that easy and in the meantime i wish i could just feel at peace w being alone instead of questioning why people don't want to hang out with me or why i don't feature into their leisure plans. (not that i'm blaming them, it's just that it's hard not to feel inadequate.)

so yeah, anyone have any advice on how to feel at peace w being alone? like, maybe i'll never manage to make new friends or make new connections, maybe through lack of trying, maybe through lack of luck, idc, i just want to be enough for myself, but i don't know how.

so any wise words are appreciated and thank you, OTNF, for letting me vent in your inbox :)

Well... those feelings are pretty common and a natural reaction to the situation. You may not really get rid of them entirely, but you can accept them as a natural part of things and not a sign that anything has gone wrong.

HS friends rarely stick with each other even during college, let alone after, so you would likely be in this same boat regardless. Making new adult friends can be a pain, but it's something most of us face multiple times even if we luck into some good friend groups at points and even if we're more social.

The thing to do for many people is to keep busy with hobbies. A crafting meetup or book club isn't usually massive. I know you don't like groups, but nobody is going to go off one-on-one without meeting you in a group context first. Finding some more manageable groups to meet people casually and see if you click is how most people do it. The only way to get to know people over time is to show up in the same places with the same people a lot.

Another important thing to realize about adult friends is that many of them won't be good about texting you or inviting you because they're all out of energy for doing that with anyone. Maybe all of their energy is reserved for a job. Maybe for a child. Maybe for a romantic partner.

Even if you're their very best friend, they may still not respond much at certain times in their life. If you guys are just post college, maybe that's not the issue yet, but it will be at some point.

Every single book about the plague of loneliness and how people suck at maintaining core friendships outside of their household is fixated on this. People suck at recognizing when they aren't putting enough energy into maintaining relationships.

I would axe that hangdog attitude about little old you not holding people's attention. They probably just aren't allocating time to building friendships at all.

Liking being alone has a lot to do with loving yourself in general and having hobbies and things you want to have time for that are solo pursuits.

It's also about not waiting to do things like go to a restaurant you want to check out. Go alone. Go with a book. Anything can be a solo activity unless it literally mandates 2+ people. Missing out on friend time shouldn't mean missing out on everything else, but a lot of people let it become that.

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novistarplanet · 1 year

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Baby Daddy eren pt2!

if you haven’t check the original

↳ baby daddy eren headcannons

also go check out my other writings🤭

i hope yall enjoy :)

eren loves doing wheelies in the parking lot with your daughter 😭

hes such a child

best believe everytime he drops hes baby at school she’s well feed! im talking Donuts ,pig n the blankets ,hell even pancakes!

whenever your daughter gets in trouble she always call eren

he’s definitely the type of parent to not care that their child got into a fight they just care if they won or not😭

they both watch gracie’s corner

he hates caillou😒

back to the drug dealer thing i said last post but after every deal he makes he always go to walmart and gets your daughter something

WAIT NO OMG LIKE VALENTINES DATES AND HE TAKES HER TO BULID A BEAR

Daddy daughter dances!!! Omgosh

he would be such a sucker for that he just wants to be in hes daugthers life :(

remember how i said you dont like Historia ?

i most DEFINITELY see her as the type to treat your child differently from hers

always trying to one up you at family barbecues

like hoe we got the same bd you aint no better than me

whats why you had to pull up on her🤷🏽‍♀️🤣

ill stop with the historia slander but after you beat her ass she’s been quiet even since

saddest thing is eren dont care🤷🏽‍♀️

he lets yall fight

he likes it when you braid hes hair

always show up in nike tech suits

He got the whole family a matching set of bonnets including hes mama

and mama carla is even WORSE then eren himself! So after the divorce with erens dad she went on to marry a rich man!

and girl it shows! taking your daughter out to high class shopping districts! BRUNCHS! even enrolled her into a french class!

so now your baby can speak german and french🧍🏽‍♀️

you honestly appreciate her she does so much for you she helps pay for your babys school funds :)

shes the reason you haven’t put eren on child support

literally your daughter already got stocks in her name from her

has you and your baby name tattooed on hes neck

he has a selve of tattoos

bc i said so

eren does not like your new man

any boyfriends you had in the past eren always scares them away

he would either threaten them or actually fight them

eren gets you pregnant again but this time he's actually there!

coming with you to ultra sounds

he asks dumb questions tho

"if we can see the baby...can he see us??"

he refers the baby as He/him even tho yall dont know the gender yet

he really wants a boy and you just want him to be happy

yk them baby shower videos when ppl get mad at the gender?

nah when eren finds out its a boy He goes BALLISTIC running around jumping😭 hes so happy

#eren x black fem!reader #eren x you #eren jeager x y/n #eren headcanons #eren jeager #eren x y/n #eren x black yn #eren fluff #eren x reader #eren x black reader fluff

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vexingwoman · 1 month

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Uh not actually here to hate but to say thanks???? Ive been thinking alot on my self expression and trying to figure out how to word it, and seeing some of your comments with other people really helped to put in perspective what I was trying to come to terms with. Ive always struggled with my gender but acknowledge fully that I'm biologically female. (Stay with me here till the end please i know lol) I genuinely dont care what pronouns I'm called either and none have ever felt right if I'm honest and nothing I've read or tried has been adding up for me over the years to help me feel any better.

Kinda realizing over the past year or so that I just have this deep ingrained idea from being surrounded constantly my whole life in a woman hating environment that I just have a *really* heavily masked hatred for what general society treats women as and was trying to remove myself from it hoping itd somehow save me from the terrible shit we all go through daily. And it just made me feel even more alienated doing that to myself. Its been a long time of coming around to this and I know how it sounds but I dont wanna consider any of my time wasted. I dont remember what it was but something you said to someone in a long ass comment fight clicked for me and rn I'm sleep deprived and wont even remember what it was in the morning either but I feel like some kind of weight has been eased off me. Im doing my best to unlearn the sexist misogynistic bs ive had shoved down my throat my whole life that made me think being a woman was something to be shameful of and better off without.

Its been hard trying to look into this radfem community and find someone who didn't immediately just insult and exclude ppl that werent already on the ball agreeing. Basically I appreciate your ranting with strangers. Amd indulging some of their curiousity as clearly as you can+defining everything you say constantly so I dont get lost in a whirlwind of hard to understand metaphors. Idk you get it. Something clicked and i dont feel ashamed for the time gone bc I know it was heavily influenced by the oppression of all things normal-human-womanly around me. I hate that we're all so tied into these stereotypes. Its painfully hard to unlearn. Thanks for the help. Have a fat block of text as thanks cause I'm not sure how to sound as genuine as I feel rn. Have a nice day and an even better tomorrow. Im gonna get some sleep now💀(stayed up WAY too late painting lol) bye!

This is so wonderful to hear. I know how dreadful it is doing serious introspection and making yourself aware of how deeply and unconsciously your internalized sexism runs. I’ve been there, and I know it’s even more difficult to deconstruct the subtle sexist attitudes which have been ingrained into to us since birth. Often it seems as hopeless as chasing smoke, because some of our internalized sexism is so deep that it’s invisible, and worse, inarticulable.

Some women will never think on these subjects beyond their surface level—will never dissect their preferences, will never concede that their choices are influenced by sex-based socialization, will never seriously reflect on why they are so desperate to identify out of womanhood. And in a strange way, I sympathize with these women, because I understand that it’s easier to shut your eyes and convince yourself that you were born in the wrong body than it is to open your eyes and acknowledge how much sexism has seeped into and corrupted our own minds.

Basically, I’m proud of you for putting yourself through the pain of deconstructing your own internalized sexism. You are better for even attempting it, and I hope you continue to do so.

P.S. I know exactly which long-ass comment fight you’re referring to, because I only put myself through that once. At least someone benefited from the literal month I spent arguing with that stranger. They blocked me, so unfortunately I can’t even go back and analyze the conversation if I ever wanted to. I would love to know what you took away from it, if you ever do remember.

#terfblr #radical feminism #terfsafe #radblr #gender critical #radical feminist safe #misogny #sexism #trans logic #gender abolition #answered asks

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minthara · 3 months

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really long personal answer to an anon i got. trigger warnings in the tags.

First of all i wanna apologise to everyone who follows me for the last few days lmao, but i feel like if i dont post about it im literally gonna kill myself. I need somewhere to write down my thoughts because i feel bad always going to the same 2 friends i still have and complain about the same situation again and again about a dude they dont even know that well.

Thank you so much for ur message really, and sorry if im gonna take it as another excuse to write down all my thoughts, but i think it will really help me.

So the pathetic thing. I didnt ever post about this and in real life i think only like. 3 people knew. But after we broke up i begged him for months to take me back. It really was pathetic. And when he called me pathetic i think he was just very very hurt, because that was the second time i broke up with him (just a few weeks ago). It was in the sense of me begging him for so long just to break up again a few months later. I feel fucking stupid even writing this. I spent about 10k euros trying to get away from him, it fucked up my life so massively that i lost a job i really loved over it.

And now my new job is about 5 minutes away from our old apartment and i think thats a huge reason why i cant get over it. Every day i walk past restaurants, the supermarkets, anything we went to together. I had to buy snacks for work today and just burst into tears in the fucking supermarket because we used to go there together. The people at work are always so appreciative bc i know the area so well but they dont know how much it fucking hurts me and its so stupid like. Should i just avoid that part of town forever??? No fucking get over it bitch like wtf its a fucking supermarket.

And it also hurts because i know i wasnt always perfect and there were many times i was super mean to him. But at a point i couldnt deal with his ADHD anymore and that sounds so shitty but im a super organised person to the point where sometimes i wonder if thers anything ocd related but i dont think so. In my head i swap between i have ocd, i have adhd, i have borderline, i have autism - i have no idea whats wrong with me, but the way i feel cant be normal. I know this because the way i behave isnt normal, i know i can come across as really strange, i cant judge social situations well and often dont know how to behave. But i constantly criticised him for symptoms of his mental illnesss.

But i never physically hurt him, and that was the last straw for me, why i left. I dont know how u can do that to a person you love.

And im just mourning the life i thought i was going to have so, so, so much. I know on tumblr ppl somehow think youre brainwashed when you want a traditional marriage and kids and stuff, but i really thought that was going to happen in the next 2 / 3 years, thats how i planned my life since i was fucking 21 and i met him. And now im almost 27, and i cant even go on dates because i cannot bear talking to new people because all i want is a clone of him but better.

I know i will look back at this and think “u cried about THAT guy???” in a few years, because thats how its always been in my life lol (except for one relationship, but were still really really best friends). I always think afterwards i will never love someone that much again. But it hits so much harder because it was such a serious relationship lol i really wanted to marry him. Sobs lol.

#asks #anonymous #abuse cw #suicide cw #i feel so much better after writing this down lol #blondshell salad on repeat if u know u know

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llycaons · 4 months

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hl really is so boring. like it was fun in the moment when reading the novel for the first time but then there’s a post-novel clarity where its like huh the relationship is actually so shallow. idk how ppl can compare hl and wx and think hl is better (even tho novel wx has major issues too). but comparing it to cql wx? its not even a competition, cql wx wins by far 💀

for REAL. hualian's big strength is that they have fabulous chemistry. every scene with them together is genuinely really fun and silly and I can tell very easily how much they care about each other, which is why despite my griping I actually do enjoy a lot of the romance scenes in the book. but if you're looking for something deeper, or even something real....it's just not there. it's all fantasy and idealization and hyper-devotion to the point where you have literally nothing else in your life that you care about or think makes life worth living. hc giving xl his ashes and saying essentially 'if you die, there's no point to me living' is actually really sad. xl inspired a traumatized child to live and then instead of actually living his life that child just devoted himself to xl utterly...it's just a self-fulfilling loop. hc never found anything else that he cared about or loved or was passionate about to really live for. he died for xl MULTIPLE times and he never appreciated his existence beyond xl's presence, which is honestly one of the most depressing endings a traumatized child can have

also you're so right when you say it's shallow. hc like 'gege is absolutely perfect and beyond reproach' and xl is like 'hc is so funny and we get along so well' and sure you have the dramatic "I saved your life/I'll kill for you' backstory but that didn't make it more interesting, it's just made it more dramatic. their principles, their morals, their life experiences, their perspectives and goals and respective places in life - it's not that those things are incompatible in the relationship, they're just irrelevant to the relationship. so like...what does any of this matter besides 'well they're happy now!' I personally like when characters care about each other for actual reasons that tie into the themes of the stoy

and yeah, despite its issues novel wx was extremely compelling and their dynamic for the most part made sense bc they complemented each other rly well and there were such good romantic scenes in the book i shan't lie. and like if two characters have never actually had to deal with genuine issues in their relationship because they just accept the other as perfect the way they are, its a very fragile and unstable dynamic because they have no idea how to resolve conflict or come to terms with being angry at each other. yet another reason wangxian is so much more stable and rewarding than hualian. they know what it's like to truly be opposed to each other, disagree with each other, hurt each other, and they found a resolution to that. not that they're perfect but in comparison, they've put in the work

and comparing hl to cql wx is really funny to me actually. real hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby situation in terms of like...themes...knowing each other...growing as people together...living meaningful lives...yeah idk how mdzs/cql fans moved on the tgcf and got into the romance because it's so much more simplistic and, imo, unappealing

ty for the ask!

#asks #Anonymous

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i23kazu · 8 months

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i've seen ur recent posts and while i understand ur desire for heightened engagement like with 2021 genshinblr, i think u have to accept the fact that 2021 saw a lot of us in lockdown and that's why so many people were so free to create and engage with fandom content like fics. it's 2023 now and everyone has school/work and life in general to attend to — for ur own good, please consider focusing more on ur real life as well.

your posts about note count are also getting really repetitive. the more obsessed u are with getting notes, the less likely ppl are to interact bc they feel pressured into it. can u really call such engagement genuine? are popularity and numbers really ur main if not only motivator for writing?

while i can understand where you're coming from, and i apologise that my posts are getting repetitive, these kinds of interactions are the best way to spread the creations. yes, it's 2023, but there's still so many people on this site – sure! not as many as 2021 where interaction had peaked and i understand that, but still, a sizable community. i have my own life outside of this website as well, anon. :-)

if i were truly obsessed with my notes, i could just... create another sideblog and reblog my work a 100 times. the point of me emphasising the importance of reblogging is to be able to share the love you have for someone's work – because it really is visible in each reblog shared, with or without tags and comments. i have my own commitments in my own life as well and that's why it means so much for me to receive that bit of serotonin and support when people interact with it, when i'm able to write. sure, i may post something almost every day, but that's because writing is my reprieve. i've been writing for a while now, and while my blog has grown, the culture of interaction has also visibly shrunk. other people notice it. other people have spoken up about it.

i apologise if people feel guilt-tripped into interacting, because that's not my intention, and they should be making their own choice on whether or not they want to interact – but if you appreciated a creator's work, this is the reblog site. you can see so many creators fizzle out because of the lack of interactions and literally, a simple reblog will do. of course, many creators love writing and not all of us will care about the notes – but it's a nice thing for us to wake up to. seeing other people appreciate our work makes us want to create more. the more people interact with our work, the higher of a chance we have of getting a genuine, love-filled engagement. and that's just what most of us want. its not about the notes. it's about the actual interactions we get.

#[📥 message received!]#this got long sorry! but i hope this gives a bit more light.

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madschiavelique · 9 months

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I actually read your initial post and I just knewwww that particular scene had inspired you😂😂 idk I just had that hunch for some reason (its been a while since i last watched it but doesn’t he also flip her and then slowly move the knife she has on his neck to hers instead bc 😱😱😱😱😱 im sorry I have issues)

I hope you’ll stay inspired to write it, it’s such a sexy trope tbh 🤌🏻🤌🏻😮‍💨 its peak forced proximity imo, bc despite the fact she’s a slave he isn’t exactly a free man to deny her. bonus points if there’s corruption involved bc I’m also soo weak for the “evil warlord/soldier takes the fair temple maiden as a slave but they fall in love along the way” 😩

(and while your prompt differs from these takes i just wanted to share them for shits and giggles, so consider these: 1.) I also live for the idea that the maiden in question is revealed to be the princess of the country that invaded and killed miguels ppl. The king’s daughter joined the temple anonymously bc she wanted to serve a purpose and ideals she stood for and not just live the life of a royal completely removed from the real world. Only the king knows of this and though their views differ he’s ok w it bc he wants to keep her safe from his enemies and her being a sworn maiden in the temple provides just that, but during the siege the temple gets raided anyway and she’s taken as a slave (as i write this i realise this is literally the story of the slave girl from troy lmao anywayyyy) and when miguel discovers this he takes her as his personal slave😈 win win, he was already planning on claiming the most beautiful one for himself, but she’s the daughter of the man he hates most as well??? Oh justice is gonna get served😈😈

orrrr take two, the king gives away his daughter as a way to save his own ass (but then again this is a different scenario) and miguel takes her as his wife, kills the king anyway and the daughter is distraught bc now she has to live her life as a slave to her father’s killer, not knowing that her father was responsible for the death of said man’s family in the first place. And of course he doesn’t tell her a thing about himself or his past at first bc my man is emotionally constipated af and only comes to her for fulfilling his marital duties and boy does he fill em🥴)

anyway wowww brainrot!!!!

YESSSS forced proximity omfg i love this

AND YES indeed he is not that much of a free man either in this situation

OKAY THE FIRST PROMPT IS DELICIOUS AND I THOUGHT OF DOING THIS INDEED but i had another thought for this : the king is really a huge bastard, and miguel doesn't appreciate much of what he does. he only wants revenge, and he is getting it in his blind hatred for other kingdoms.

but see the thing is (plot twist) the flag he saw in his village was put there by his king himself. why you might ask ? well because if many villages of his own kingdom start getting attacked by "another" kingdom then this is a sufficient motive to create a war, and that's all he wants. so he deliberately set fire to some villages in his own country and planted there the flag of the kingdom he wanted to attack to convince the population that other kingdoms were threats.

and when miguel learns that, he'll kill the king, and will escape with the reader to live a life of peace

i also kinda prefer the fact that reader is just a nobody kinda, like- she doesn't need to be of royalty to be considered as something precious

BUT YEA REAL GOOD STUFF NONNY AND YEA BRAIN ROT IS ROTTING GOOD

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autisticempathydaemon · 5 days

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hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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personasintro · 1 year

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i used to skip kiko part in the entire story and been hating on her all these month but i finally find courage to reread the entire story without skipping any part again this week and it’s actually make me see the entire story, characters in different light

i no longer feels annoyed at jk, more understanding why he do what he do and so does kiko. i’m actually one of those reader that kinda feel annoyed and impatient to see oc and jk character to be together in romantic way but after rereading the story again, i feels like it’s not even important for them to be dating or not bc their friendship is so special and they basically already do what couple do anw and their love, trust, respect for each other is even more special than any couple would have. i no longer being obsessed wanting them to be together as long they will always be this close and love each other this much then it’s enough

(BUT i do feel sad oc and jk ended their sex journey without him cumming inside her yet 😑)

and for kiko, after reading her part it’s actually make me sympathy for her so much esp after finding out abt the abortion. somehow i can understand why she do what she does bc i kinda can see i’m doing the same things (abortion without telling my partner) if it’s happened to me. it’s a bitch move but when i’m imagine being in her position, it’s really not easy things to handle and some ppl do make worst decisions in life

This ask made me think a lot 🤔 I wonder how readers can have a full opinion when they skip parts in the story, not mentioning important parts that flow with the entire plot and storyline. Please don’t take this personally, I’m talking about this in general because it really made me wonder how many readers skipped parts in MH without ever reading them, because I’m sure there are some. It’s a really interesting topic for some reason haha 🤭

On another note, I’m glad you gave it a chance and read the story as it’s written! No matter what your opinion is, I appreciate it 🫶

#ask: anon #ask: mutual help

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eldritch-araneae · 1 year

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So, it time to put my thought about Earthspark new episodes. I have a lot of insight on Bumblebee, and more thoughts regarding the story. I absolutely love this show, that's the single-handedly the best show I watched in years, no joke!

So yeah, spoilers for new episodes and it's a long post! Things I'm gonna talk about is the War, Agent Croft and Scholder, a bit of Mandroid, the Triplets and of course, Bumblebee <3

Grab your drink, sit comfy and welcome under the cut!~

The War

Episode 16 was good, showing that war is horrible and tragic and nothing good comes out of it, and Megatron putting his faith into Terrnans for them to not repeat the mistakes cybertronians did. So many lives lost, from all sides of conflict.

(Sidenote: and look like AllSpark was just sent home ( or possible destroyed) that why it was never mentioned. Bee seemed fine in the battle, only to be tackled by Skullcruncher. So I think Optimus just made up a story that Bee died to get him off radar. He's a spy after all~ Still, Bee dying and being revived by the AllSpark look like a fun AU, so feel free to play with it :D)

But also this episode gives a huge insight why Megatron's cause went wrong, and I believe this is huge! Megatron had good intentions, but I think the main reason why failed and why the war turned to be so devastating - he surrounded himself worth wrong people!

People like him!

You can see what type of person Shockwave is, the very same as Mandroid and Agent Croft. The rich people how will sacrifice everything and everyone (esp those they believe are beneath them) to get all the power they want.

So even if Megatron wanted to help his people, Shockwave and likes of him ( bc I'm sure his presence attracted more ppl like him into deception ranks) doomed this from the very start. You cannot help the sheep, if your organization is filled with wolfs.

Sure, 'cons call Megatron a traitor, but I believe he is not a traitor. Megatron was surrounded by traitors.

Which makes me wonder, why Megs kept ppl like Shockwave around?

Did Megatron had the same bigoted believes as Shockwave? Tho this one maybe seem unlikely in this continuity. Megatron would need a lot more convincing than just a human showing compassion to his people.

Or Megatron was really attached to him, bc he's a friend and he was in denial that his friend is the same type of person he tries to fight against? And this was okay as long as Shockwave used this language against Autobots only ( bc this Shockwave looks like based on Marvel one if I'm not wrong) so he let it slide?

Which brings a cool parallel with Robby in the next episode, where this kid is willing to cut his friend off for shitty behavior directed at his family.

"If that's how Stevie gonna behave? He doesn't get me as a friend. That's his loss."

Which we can officially proclaim that his human kid as more guts than Megatron hah.

(Sidenote: I do appreciate that Stevie seem to had a change of heart or least he understood the gravity of situation and changed the graffiti after the confrontation. All changes matter, even small ones, which does serve remind for all us in real life. Even if it feel like it doesn't work.)

Also yeah, love the fact writers showing all sides diverse. There are terrible people everywhere, and people how will happily harness this fear and hate. But also there are good people, and people willing to change for the greater good, and it worth fighting for.

(Sidenote: tbh this makes me excited, because it is close how I'm writing the conflict in Sparkpulse! I wanna know who am I sharing the brain cell with? :D)

Agent Croft

Wow, those first character bios we saw before the show release didn't lie how evil she is. She's a rich military person, so it checks out. And I wanna point out, that she doesn't give a fuck about life as a whole. Not about cybertronians, not about humans, not about nature or even her home planet. Again, perfectly check out.

Episode 15 demonstrates it loud and clear. There things.

They look like a blend of organic and energon. And they can infect organic being to turn them into eldritch abominations like this!

(Sidenote: this is right my alley! Again, which writer shares the braincell with me??? XD Can't help it, I drawn to body horror)

And it doesn't look it was just a "careless waste disposal". Croft testing her biowepon in wild and mark my words: that's what gonna happen in the season 1 finale! I think the entire town will get infected, yes humans too. And we saw that afflicted can be saved, but even one bear was a struggle. Now imagine the entire army of infected humans.

I'm excited for this, can't wait to see if this a case or not~

Agent Schloder

He's a such a goof, but learning he's a brother of Croft was a whiplash for sure ahaha. Such drastic difference omg.

Despite all this, he seem to be a decent person? He doesn't look like seeking power like Croft and he actually cares about protecting people? But he also deeply brainwashed, and Croft making sure he doesn't see her dirty work.

So he's heart seems like in the right place, but misdirected. So I wonder what will happen if he ever finds out what his sister is doing behind his back? Because it appears that even half of GHOST isn't aware what really going on, huh.

Sure, it will be hard to convince him that not all freeroaming cybs are dangerous ( this shit really got internalized into him, attacking Bee even tho the yellow bot saved his life), but he cares about humans. And I think a lot of humans will be in danger in the finalle bc of Croft actions I mentioned above.

So, something tells me what the shit will do down, GHOST will split up. Can't wait to see this true aha.

Mandroid

Or specifically the WHOLE IRONY of his situation. He tells Hashtag that she can't control him, but at the same time, Croft has full power over Mandroid. Also yeah, he's is techorganic, or something, called it even back then~

The Terran Triplets

I love how this batch of common theme: the struggle with belonging. Jawbreaker, Nightshade and Hashtag share the same struggle, but it manifested in different way and required a different solution.

Jawbreaker thinking he's broken, because no vehicle alt-mode appeals to him. He wants to take the perfect pick, but he doesn't know what if it. And Hasgtag already picked hers!

Elita reassuring him, and even says she struggled with this too. He will know when he'll see his alt-mode. It's something you should never force it. Very sweet! And also seem a foreshadowing, I will mention later.

Nightshade struggles to find ppl with same interests as them, then finding this connection with Tarantulas! I love how Tarantulas explains the alt-mode. It's not a something completes you. Alt-mode is something that expresses who you already are. An extension of yourself. Which again, I smell foreshadowing I'll tell you later.

I hope we'll see Tarantulas later, I like liked him, even tho he's not like his IDW counterpart. But I have say, it so relieving to see a spider character that isn't inherently evil. I just love spiders)

Also, I just love Nightshade is like a Terran version of Wheeljack but with a different flavor ahaha. They both should hang out too, see how many explosions will happen. And poor Tarantulas in the middle xD

Hashtag was terrified by the anti-transformer rhetoric she experienced in Philadeplia and then got furious after seeing Bumblebee weak and hurt, which Mandroid exploited. She needed her family like never before and only reaching out and comforting her saved her.

"Home isn't a place. It's the people who love you."

Love and care is the main focus of this show after all, which I absolutely love!

Also, they all can channel the power from Emberstone! And seems like it can be powered by emotions, like the green lantern ring! I'm excited to see more!

Bumblebee

Oh yeah, we finally got to the last and my favorite part! Let's unpack this boy even further, shall we?)

His view on Decepticons

I like how in first batch it looked like Bee is against every decepticon out there, but the second batch shows more depth to this.

Bumbleblee has close relationship with Breakdown, and he still cares about him even despite being of different sides and willing risk his cover, and even picking up the racing car alt-mode he doesn't seem like to much... just to save him.

And, despite Bee being aligned with 'bots is a sore spot for Breakdown (looks like it was a choice between Bee and Stunticons, and he choose the latter. Yet, Bee still cares about him), he still cared for Bee to sacrifice himself. Bee has a family to look after and I'm sure he understood this as well ( maybe even saw a parallel with Stunticons?)

(And sadly, we see Breakdown's arm in the last episodes tho I wonder if they in stasis bc of energon loss, but idk. It's better to assume death, and but surprised later, than the other way around. Good thing Bee didn't see him, but something tell me he will find out eventually.)

Bumblebee also willing to give second chances, especially if his family ask for this. I love how quickly his expression changes. It goes from this, listening to Nightshade explaining the situation, while still not trusting Tarantulas.

To this is in a second! He's smiling, looking at Tarantulas.

Bumblebee could argue them, saying that he's still a con and all the cons do is to deceive, but no. He accepts their words as the truth and looks relieved that Tarantulas changed for better! Which i think that what Bee wants. He doesn't want deceptions to die, he wants them to be better.

And his reaction to the dead Brawl. He doesn't look happy, or bragging about it and finding this funny. No, instead he's grieving and probably feels guilty because he had no idea happened to those who lose in the ring, and he won against Brawl earlier.

So, I think we can safely call back to ep7 and conclude that "cassette exploding in SW's chest" was just about the cassette unwinding and all this tape flying everywhere, and not cassette dying.

Plus we know that Bee was born before war now. So this could happen even back then.

His feelings about his alt-modes

Episdoes 11 and 12 showed really good insight into Bumblebee's complicated feeling about his alt-mode. So Nova Storm calling him having" a mid-life crisis alt-mode" wasn't just a random insult.

In ep11 kids fins out how Bee looked, and absolutely being slayed by his cuteness. And I agree, he's perfect here!

And Bee's reaction? You would think he might get defensive, bc this form isn't as cool as his current one? But no! Look at his face!

He looks neutral, but with hint of nostalgia? Like maybe he's holding back to not appear sad in front of kids ( bc we know, he's scared to show vulnerability to others) and when asked why did he switch, he simply answers his disguise was revealed and needed the new one.

Which makes sense, as we will see later how bad this can be, and he's a spy, but wonder there is more to it?

Because when Jawbreaker asks Bee how did he choose his alt-mode, Bee deflects, saying he doesn't understand how his answer will help Jawbreaker. Which to me it looks like Bumblebee doesn't want to talk about it.

And when Jawbreaker says that he wants to get this right first time without making a wrong choice like Bee did, Bumblebee gets angry! JB accidentally hit the very sore spot for Bee!

And if you remember how both Elita-1 and Tarantulas talked about alt-modes? How you know when this right, and how it's a reflection of who you are, this creates a lot of possibilities. So far I think he picked the racing alt-mode only because he wanted to save Breakdown.

And he def loves his WV Beetle mode, and I wonder if this has a connection to Spike? We saw him in animated flashback, so I wonder if Spike is in the show and might show up later? Bee remember this mode fondly and get really upset when JB calls it "wrong choice" because of connection to Spike?

Or this can be a metaphor or simpler time Bee was having back then. Not dealing with terrible ppl among humans additionally to terrible ppl among cons?

I do hope Spike is out there. Maybe Spike thought that Bee was dead and they haven't see each other for 15 years? Imagine their reunion, and the fact Bee realized that Spike is older and maybe we will finally exploration of human mortality in canon! I though this can be the case in ep13 when Nightshade went to cemetery to meet their fav author, but nope.

Anyways, regardless what it is, I feel this is a big deal and we will see more of this! I hope he will change his alt-mode to something he likes!

His place in Malto family

We know how quickly Bee accepted Maltos as his family and in this batch I was so happy to see the other way, when Maltos caring about him! They love him, you have no idea how this relieving to me, after all those comics where Bee is consonantly alone!

Nightshade saying Bee is the best trainer they know and making their training device sounding like him.. even tho Bee is def mortified after breaking the thing that sounds like him, poor guy.

(Tho I wonder if this implies anything hmmm?)

Also Nightshade's "Woopsy-do~ It's malfunctioning!" just kills me xDD

And Dot, while scolding Bee for being reckless, she understands why Bee was doing this and is willing to help him. And Bee also realized he accidentally endangered his new family. Also Dot looks amazing in this outfit ahah.

And when Bumblebee doesn't come home everyone is upset, and Twitch is devastated bc her fears coming true. She doesn't want to lose anyone, even if it just means the person she cares about is alive, but can't return home anymore.

And they refuse to leave him in ep 18 even tho he's telling them to find Optimus and Megatron. I love this part of of the two-parter episode because Bee cannot fight anymore, but he puts his faith and trust into Terrans. He loves them, but he also knows what they are capable of and all this training weren't wasted.

This little touch, when Twitch hesitating to leave Bumblebee to help others with Hashtag. Her sister needs help, but her mentor is weak and wounded and it's hard to choose. Thankfully Bee's words were enough her to go to help her siblings. Still, her touch lingers as she leaves.

My heart of was absolutely melted! I'm so happy to see this, I hope Bee will get a big hug from all Maltobots!

I'm so glad Bee passed out because he was going to leave again! I guess he still think he puts Maltos in danger bc GHOST now know about him. Or maybe he even feel guilty he still got kinds into this mess, even tho he trust them to do the job?

At least kids just took him home omg. And it just so funny how they put Bee on Hashtag like this xDD

I can't wait to see the rest of the season 1 when they drop! This show is so, so good! There is probably more I could say, but I'm very tired, so that all for now. If you managed to get to this point, thank you for reading!

Have a nice time of the day and see you next time! <3

#transformers earthspark spoilers #earthspark spoilers #ara talks #omg i was writting this all day im so tired #i hope you liked my rambling xD #earthspark

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