#i really hope it will help someone

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[artgletic]

hopelessly romantic over the concept of information

#the ancient is a design i made up for someone that srs could talk to #just wanted to explore a robots love thru computation and physicality 😇 #and how the extent of this is deranged when not literally a supercomputer #how would the ancient even hold wnough pearls to contain the entirety of their structure 😭 #srs rain world #seven red suns #iterator rain world #rain world iterator #rain world #why did i pick srs? nsh too busy fucking around lttm doesnt really care for the ancients and 5p isnt capable of love. hope this helps💛

[your-turn-to-role]

moment of appreciation again for what is possibly my favourite later game percy quote that everyone always forgets about

(said to vex, of course)

#another thing tlovm hasn't touched on yet that i hope they do (bc next season would be a great place for it) - #both percy and vex struggle so much with anger issues and holding grudges #and the reason they work so well together is because literally a few minutes before their first kiss #they make a commitment to helping each other learn how to forgive even when it's hard - because that's the only way to grow #percy had orthax and vex had saundor both who fed on those impulses and tried to turn them into their worst selves #and they both could very easily have fallen to that! but they don't want to. so they're going to keep each other on the right track #and this is really the pinnacle of it #percy being able to recognise when he really wants to hurt someone and going hmm nope vex seems to be objective here im gonna listen to vex #cr1 #c1e99 #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #perc'ahlia #cr thoughts

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Daughter of delta Yu, show them that you're no fool!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang fengmian #jinzhu #yinzhu #wang lingjiao #wen zhuliu #elle woods #Not officially appearing but this is very much supposed to continue on the running gag of her being a character in pd-mdzs. #Yes I have been thinking about how Yu and Nu sound the same. Would it not be funny if YZY and Elle Woods were martial sisters? #Oh man I really hope help gets to lotus pier in time. I hope things turn out okay despite the odds. #I always wondered what YZY ended up fighting with once she gave away zidian. Supposedly she would have a sword right? #Let us also factor in the fact she gets her core 'melted' and can't use spiritual weapons anymore. #We know for a fact that this does not stop someone from still kicking ass. #Thus I propose: Yu Ziyuan as a bare knuckle brawler. In my heart she's a multiclass barbarian/monk. #As *if* she would go down without causing a bit more bloodshed once her core was gone. #Gatekeep Gaslight Girlviscerate your enemies.

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

#spilled ink #writeblr #slam poetry #i started this as a joke and ended up taking after #the poem about all the women in the world meeting in the bathroom #i can't find it to link it directly i've been googling for like 15 minutes if someone can remember #turns out frantically googling the only lines like ''women meeting in the bathroom'' #''secret womens meeting you always believed happened" is not useful for . to search??? help :( #also the reason this says harmless so many times is bc like #this is 100% about like #yeah man when ppl are mean about ppl enjoying things like. fuckin lady gaga #like this is so obviously about ppl who steal ur joy for no reason (i WILL steal ur joy if ur a bigot btw) #also yes it's bc someone was like ''liking the mcelroys in 2023 is cringe'' #and im like. dude what the fuck literally just let people like things it's LITERALLY not that deep. #like i dont like centipedes theyre one of like the 2 bugs im squicked out by ... but like. #if u really like centipedes. im like so happy for you. i hope you can put socks on ur centipedes #so they can speedclean ur floors. that would be fun and cool!!! #i love u i hope all of you have a weird passion i love you i hope that passion fills your life like soap bubbles

[liauditore]

how many belts and buckles does she need someone save me.

#hermitaday #geminitay fanart #geminitay #hermitcraft fanart #hermitblr #my art #gem #tubby u were so right about long unkempt hair suiting gem she feels so in her element #i still draw her in the braid pre-secret life for reasons I haven't quite figured out. I'm sure it's thematically significant somehow #anyway ohh my god this skin is so detailed help #joe hills was in a TSHIRT #gem this time ft. her freckles that I have forgotten to draw every other time #in my heart she's always had them #as much as pirates smp was not my thing the au potential is so awesome #and unfortunately this gem skin specifically sends me down an insanity spiral that I don't like the look of #idk I like to think she's a bounty hunter. her outfit is cobbled together from past kills like trophies #hence the multiple belts and mismatched stuff #including the shawl thing that i like to think was ripped to pieces and then she'd sewn back together #realised after i finished drawing that this kind of comes with the implication she either killed scott or someone else from house denholm #cus the blue coat thing really does look like what he wore but. shrugs. #anyway yeah that aside woo season 10 gem!!!!! #i hope joel murders her again

[sableeira]

please humor my self-indulgent artwork for the historical AU I mentioned like half a year ago and finally started writing. Detective Dazai and swordsman-for-hire Chuuya teaming up to solve crime cases during the Meiji period ✨

close-up because after a decade on this website I still haven’t figured out how to get images to look sharp

#take “writing” loosely… my art block was replaced by a writing block… or maybe I can just focus on one per time… someone help 😭 #and I overscoped… which tends to happen with my creative ventures but I really hope I will get something done with the au soon #the first chapter is finished but I want to get a few others finished and the rest drafted before posting anything… #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #soukoku #skk #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bsd #my art #this artwork is kind of inspired by a scene that’s going to happen a bit further down the line! skk team work yippie <3

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]

Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.

And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.

Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #the prison dimension is horrifying on its own #add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering? #god I can’t imagine how scary that is #Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there #it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo #personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension #so it’s a prison in all ways #but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all… #Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really #because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope. #to smile #nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him #and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual #one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that #should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination #I’m unwell about this family #actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities #but to their relationship to family and love in general #kinda like love languages in a way #Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe #Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind #Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible #and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway #like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home #even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there #and that’s enough

[lokioftheloch]

RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1

Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.

#going to start a small 'series' where I document stuff I learn that is otherkin specific. This is for myself as well as anyone who might #be struggling with things I used to/am working on(otherkin specific). hopefully this will reduce any mental pitfalls other otherkin may #fall into as they explore their identity and help out someone. #this 'rule' took a LONG time to fully understand and grasp. for the longest time I would consciously or subconsciously #think I was less Loki if I did or was something 'Loki would never do. until i realized I do exactly and experience exactly what Loki does #and experiences because...Im literally Loki. (talking about incarnations here). I felt pressured to be a certain way because 'Loki would #never (insert). being aroace is on of them. i tried to convince myself I wasn't aroace #and when I finally ran out of reasons i felt i was 'less Loki' because mythologically hes like the opposite. but Loki IS aroace. because #Im Loki. and Im aroace. so loki is SUPPOSED to be aroace because Im loki and im being exactly how loki is being. because im loki. being #myself. therefore being exactly like Loki. again - incarnation. #anyway....if anyone else struggles with this I hope this helps someone. its a really sucky place to be in honestly. #godkin #deitykin #alterhuman #otherkin #divinekin #nonhuman #alterbeing #therian #I think I will be learning a LOT more as I keep exploring and I will note down any 'rules' I learn - more like lessons but rules personally #sound more right for me. rules i will live by (yknow unless i find out im wrong but...im going to trust myself more and right now i feel #like this rule is true. so im using it as such unless i find out im wrong in future.

[thranduel]

some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭 #also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because -> #in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

[mikrotyalm13]

everything about Gavriil feels suffocating.

how his presence alone can be almost overwhelming, how his massive body cages you everytime without a chance to escape. you wouldn't dare to try anyway, knowing that you don't even have a say against a creature of his caliber. he will find you. in your dreams, in your nightmares. in your room.

how he will be intense and vague about everything just for the sake of it; to confuse you further, to see the conflict of emotions in your eyes merge with arousal. eventually your hesitance turns into acceptance, a desperate need to feel his hands all over you. and he will be oh so grateful to fulfill that desire.

how his thick tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, reaching almost the back of your throat, relishing in the muffled little sounds you make. your drool mixed with his saliva drips down your chin, and your hazy eyes look up at him when he finally pulls away, giving you a second to breathe.

how his hips are slamming into you relentlessly, your wetness and lack of resistance allowing him to move almost effortlessly. forced to hold onto him for dear life instead of pushing away. all of your morals and principles are being tossed out of the window every single time he comes to you. he has you where he wants you, and will not stop until he feels like you can't take it anymore.

and how in the morning he vanishes away, leaving you guessing: was it just another wet dream? but the cold stickiness between your legs tells you more than you need to know.

#yes bringing this back bc at the time i didn't tag it properly #okay im gonna complain in here now. #need... to... draw... something... but i dont... have the strength.. #drawing on my phone is so exhausting but i have no other option #bc i think my traditional art is not very polishedddd and i dont want to answer asks with ittttt #but maybe i will #bc i think i'm really getting to that burnout #and giving how my bday is getting closer and closer.... #i dread it. but hey. cake. money. i'll get a new piercing #i WILL cry ofc but hey. maybe someone will buy me tea as a gift. who knows. #i just want to spend some time with someone yknow:( #just... talk. about anything. sit beside eachother and stare off into the waters #i hope the snow will melt soon because i want to go out more even if by myself #gonna find a job when summer comes... maybe talking to colleagues and all that will help... everythings gonna be fine.. i hope #i just need friends. god. #microtya's kids #microtya: gavriil #monsterfucker #monster fucker #monster x human #monster boyfriend #monster lover #teratophillia #god x human #monster smut

[galadrail]

For anyone using "Flower" or "sunflower" as a hobie nickname for miles or even just anyone wanting to put flowers in their fic or whatever, here's some information about it:

- In the language of flowers, the sunflower clearly means "you are my sun". It's a lovely message of love. But the "Flower of the Sun" can also represent recognition and respect for someone.

- In this case, the sunflower is a symbol of fidelity, accompanying the sun from morning to night. Of course, sunflowers also look like little suns.

- sunflowers are summer flowers and grow from June to September.

- there are 70 different types of sunflower, the most common of which are the 'italian white' sunflower, the silver-leaved sunflower and the ten-rayed sunflower.

#sunflower #i love sunflowers #Just some info about sunflower #Sunflower was the best Flower #punkflower #astv hobie #hobie brown/miles morales #hobie brown #miles morales #Honestly I just want to tell something about sunflower because I love them so much #But I really want to people know more about them #So I hope it help someone #astv #spiderman fic #Gala info #Gala thought

[echosong971]

more expression studies and notes on p cause i love doin’ these hehe

#if you can’t tell #echo LOVES drawing expressions #it’s my favorite part of drawing the face #and P is an interesting challenge because he strikes me as someone who #even when he’s got full humanity #visibly emotes in more subtle ways more often than not #he’s pretty reserved #and so really solidifying those microexpressions of his has been really fun hehe #i also hope this helps anyone else trying to draw him haha #oh and one last note #whenever i draw a character angry #i like to let my lineart get a lot more loose and sketchy #i think it really adds to the anger feel hehe #pinocchio #p #lies of p pinocchio #geppetto’s puppet #lies of p #neowiz #echosong971 #art #digital art #fanart #lies of p art #lies of p fanart

[mintjeru]

i may be less normal about yudrain than i previously thought reference for the text on hope under the cut

open for better quality | no reposts

#yuder aile #yudrain aile #turning novel #터닝 #fanart #myart #comic #do you ever think about how yudrain kept trying to ask the nobles for help and that meant he really thought that someone would believe him? #and do you ever think about how his hopes were crushed each time? bc i do. #haven't made much novel progress since last time but the part where yuder tells k.ishiar about the crack in the forest #and k.ishiar genuinely considers his opinion and suggests they keep an eye out #and yuder was so surprised that he listened to him #on one hand it's k.ishiar so it was likely he'd pay attention #on the other hand 2nd tl yuder has been putting in effort to care about his peers and let them care for him in turn #seeing his efforts rewarded was just so impactful to me #he deserves the world

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

ORV is about enduring the horrors in real time.

(for @everyonesfavoritebastard)

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #I read a few arcs of ORV a few years back so I am at least loosely familiar with the characters and premise. #ORV dares ask the question: “what if you finally met your beloved blorbo who helped you cope through the horrors - and he *hates you*” #The reversal of what most people feel about some of their blorbos (love them but would never want to meet someone like that in person) #I would love to keep reading orv but it is very long and I already promised to finished like...3 other shows and several books. #my gesture of affection is consuming the media my friends care about. Alas I have none who are into orv to motivate me. #Also hey there raffle winner everyonesfavouritebastard - you gave no prompt at all so I took a random swing based on ur pfp and blog #I hope you like kim dokja! I am terribly sorry if you meant to leave a prompt and something glitched #EDIT: Found out raffle winner everyonesfavouritbastard didn't know it was a raffle. Homie...I'm So Sorry. #Now I *really* hope you like Kim Dokja. #You're so valid; I too would be mesmerized by the beauty of stackedbird's lovely little apple art.

[inkskinned]

everyone talks about the clothing store and honestly everyone is expected to wear stuff from that store and you're a little young and curious, and what's the harm of looking. it's in all the magazines and everyone knows okay some of the things are ugly but! like generally everyone thinks we should be wearing these clothes. they're elite. they're precious. they are a symbol of wealth and status.

you walk into the clothing store and see a very nice sweater and you've been wanting to stay warm so you pick up the sweater. it turns immediately into a horrible fizzing froth, rushing over your skin, faintly acidic. it's tacky, it leaves behind a residue. horrified and a little ashamed - did you do it wrong? - you reach out blindly and your hands find a shirt. that one dissolves too. you think of the phrase you break it, you bought it. how much money did you just accidentally spend on that shirt and that sweater, both things that you'll never be able to wear.

more confused than anything, you turn to the first person you see, but she's experiencing the same thing, her brows furrowed. "i've been here since i was 13," she says. "one of these days i'll actually get to try on something."

you were raised with horror movies, so you look for an escape instead of trying to stay. you go to the front desk and wait in the front line and when you finally get to the front, a very angry man is sitting there, scowling at you. "i think your store is broken," you say to him. "i can't pick up any of your clothes. they don't work."

it is as if you have said something vile. every person within earshot takes a step back from you. the man gives you a cool look. "these clothes are good for you," he says.

"no, i know that," you've read about them, "but i can't seem to actually hold them."

again, everyone seems to think you've said the wrong thing. some of them are holding shirts, so obviously some clothes work. those are the people you hear whispering first. lazy. someone murmurs. i managed fine, you hear. i just had to keep trying.

the man taps a sign next to him. in big bold print: not everyone can have this.

"okay, um. if you're not going to be helpful, i'm just going to... not buy this," you manage, feeling yourself flush with heat. why are you so embarrassed? their clothes are the thing that aren't working.

"i don't have time for people who don't dress themselves well," he says. "it's disgusting."

you don't know what else to say because actually you dress fine, you're pretty sure, you're just not in their clothes. you leave the store.

but your hands are still tacky from before. you find yourself weirdly sensitive about your clothes. maybe you should go back in, try again? there were people who were able to make the clothes stay present, you might have just been doing something weird.

plus there's the rest of the world. how people look at you in airports. how shame rushes over your cheeks during job interviews, worried you don't look "professional" enough. the people across you are all wearing those clothes, and you're not. in the doctor's office, the nurse's eyebrows skyrocket. are you sure you actually went into the store and tried on the clothes? you're staring at her - i'm here to see about my cough, not about my wardrobe.

but of course it fucking matters. when you google it, you find out that most people can only hold onto the clothes for about two years or so, and then they fizzle out too. that the clothes only "stick" for 5% of customers. it just means that any person in those clothes matters more. it's a scarcity. at first, you're horrified by the idea of something that almost never works. but you learn it soon enough: being in the 5% means you have taste, class, are exceptionally pretty.

you try to ask why exactly it's these clothes, but you usually are answered with an eye roll. you ask why the prices are so high. why nobody seems to care about the way their clothes leave that weird strange residue for years later. there's a sizing chart online you find, hoping it might explain your weird inability to lift anything. most of the news articles all read the same thing - this chart was made by someone cruel and definitely isn't accurate, but for some reason it is still used as our golden rule.

so you go again. you fall too. it's worth it to try. even kind of ironically. even kind of privately, shamefully. this time you go and manage to hold onto socks, but it means you sometimes get that strange residue on your floors. you get used to the tackiness after a while, but when you manage to hold onto pants, you discover the tackiness spreads. sure, it's irritating - this sense there's a barrier between everything you touch, even you and your friends - but it's worth it, because people notice you're in those pants. and you don't want to be one of the 95% who lose them after all this fucking work you put in, so you let the tack get all over everything until it dries down into a fine powder that coats your floor in a brick red flurry. when you walk, your footprints look bloody, so you just learn to step gently.

and since it worked for you once, like gambling - you will come back. you will teach others how to get into the store. you will tell your own children - oh, you just have to keep trying at the clothing store. you will let others treat you badly when you are not wearing the right things. you will spend all that money over and over and over again and you will feel ugly if you are not wearing their brand. you are simply treated better if you dress like this. you feel better if you dress like this, secretly winning over your friends who are between sizes. it doesn't matter how much time you spend at the store, missing birthday cakes and parties because you're trying to make a dress look nice before dissolving. what matters is that when it works, all that relief and joy and peace rushes in. when it works, people finally love you again.

the diet industry promises you - it'll all be okay, once you're thin.

#this whole thing is about the diet industry #i hope that's clear #it REALLY bothers me that people are okay with an industry only having a 5% ''success'' rate #like ..... #imagine if cars only started 5% of the time #it's almost like.... dieting... doesn't actually help people with systematic inequality #and the multiple facets of why eating is a deeply personal experience.... #and the system of shame and fatphobia is not going to fucking help anything...... #can't wait for someone to be like ''.... but there's an epidemic....'' #i'm about to be ur ending little man <3