#i never do this

[lifecyclesofmayflies]

#i never do this #i havent picked up my guitar in like 3 years #me #be nice

[homerforsure]

Encompassed: Coda for 6:10 In a Flash

Edit: Now on AO3 because I love attention

Pain arrives in increments. 

First, the headache that reminds him of how long it's been since he last ate, drank, slept. The nagging, insistent squeeze that doesn’t go away even when Maddie sees him rubbing his temples and offers him the bottle of ibuprofen she keeps in her purse. 

Next, it’s one sharp stab in the center of his chest, when his son, just a goddamn kid, asks the question he’s had to ask too many times before.

“Is he going to be okay?” 

“You know your Buck. He’s- He never gives up. Not ever.”

“Are you scared?”

“Yeah, buddy. Yeah, I’m scared.”

“Me too.” 

Panic tastes metallic at first and then like the sea as Eddie sobs silently on the edge of his bed before slipping down to the floor. He digs his fingernails into his arms and the fresh pain is an anchor, keeping him from spinning away in the churning dark. He’s gonna die He’s gonna die He’s gonna die He’s gonna die He’s gonna die. 

Then it’s the weight of a bruise–technically three, four bruises maybe, but they all throb in time over his shoulder and down his arm and across his back and over his hip and thigh. If he’d been wearing a tank, he would have been fucked, cracked ribs and all. But maybe then he would have gotten to stay. He’d submit to the white and blue gown if it meant he could stay. 

Hugging his son is a good ache, one that tugs on all the others and soothes them at the same time until he hears a request that feels like fingertips pressing into every place that already hurts.

“I want to see Buck.”

“Maybe later.”

“There might not be a later!”

They fall asleep together in a shitty hospital chair after Christopher cries out every last ounce of pain into Eddie’s shirt and Eddie picks it up and holds onto it for him because that’s what it means to be a dad. 

“He told me he wasn’t going anywhere.”

The crick in his neck afterward is a mockery of the rest of his pain and, god, does Eddie feel all of it when Hen takes Christopher to the bathrooms and to get a snack and he realizes that somehow, he’s alone.

No. 

Not alone.

With Buck.

Because Buck is still in there. Eddie pounded on his chest to drag him back and the proof of it is in green lines on screens and shrill little beeps that slice at his sanity like death by a thousand cuts. 

He’s crushed breathless with pain now. Not a heart attack. Heart break. It might kill him just the same. 

“You said that to me too, you know,” he says as though they’re shoulder to shoulder with beers in hand. It’s always so much easier to say what he means when he doesn’t have to look Buck in the eye while he does it. “You said you weren’t going anywhere.” 

Buck moved toward the door and Eddie’s heart stuttered even as he sniffed, fighting to right himself and pretend he hadn’t just destroyed his house and possibly his reputation in the eyes of his son and his best friend. “Thanks. Thanks for coming,” Eddie said. “I can call you tomorrow. Let you know…” 

He’ll never forget the look that Buck gave him as he slipped off his shoes and pulled his key out of the front door lock where he’d left it in his frenzied run inside. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. And he hadn’t.

His fingers tangle in the blanket that sticks to the calluses on his hands and he doesn’t take Buck’s hand. Eddie knows how they fit together. His skin tingles with the memory of Buck’s too weak grip when he lay under the truck, later of Buck thinking he could squeeze hard enough to make Eddie give up and leave him alone when he fought through physical therapy, later still giving Eddie something solid to hold onto during his own recovery. What he doesn’t know is how it might feel to take Buck’s hand for no reason at all. He was thinking that he had time to figure out what it means that he’s been wondering about it more and more. 

“Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.”

“That kid,” he starts, coughs, tries again. “That kid needs you.”

Christopher is three for four on people he loves going into an ambulance and coming back out of the hospital again. Buck skews the average. Buck always comes out of it okay. He always- He always- 

“I need you.” 

This time the hurt is everywhere. It starts in his marrow and spreads hot through his bones and tissue. It flows through him like blood, perfusing his organs, flooding every cavity in a tide that can’t be staunched. It’s like every part of him that ever held love for Buck has been set on fire and now wails out in helpless, screaming agony. And there’s nothing he can do. 

Nothing, 

Except. 

Eddie grabs onto Buck like a lifeline, grasping his forearm and squeezing like he can pull him out of this with one good heave. He might never let go. Not until Buck wakes up and squeezes back.

#911 spoilers #911 fic #buddie fic #6:10 coda #eddie diaz fic #i never do this #but #here we are #allison writes #911 fanfic

[mod2amaryllis]

going to the nicer grocery store and buying fancy pickles house made hummus pre cut veggies counter cheese and roast beef and fresh sourdough just to feel something

#i never do this #i just want yummy incentive to make sandwich.... #m2a

[postwarlevi]

#Yes #It is time #Meme #I never do this #But this one I must #it's gonna be may #May

[laguna-lesbian]

STARTED TALKING TO THE CUTE GIRL FROM ONE OF MY CLASSES TODAY!!!!!!!! WHO SCREAMED

#not kidding guys #this is big #i never do this #shes beautiful #and she likes art #and she plays bASS #you dont get it #i must seduce this woman #im determined

[sylph-of-limebloods]

The Euphoria of Being Transgender

I know I never really post on here, but. I haven't seen enough trans positivity on my dash recently, especially for trans men, so as someone who's ftm I've decided to share some very niche, gender euphoric (masculine) experiences that I've had since I started transitioning about a year ago. NOTE in case: some of this *is* HRT-related, however I still wished to share them because often I see descriptions of the physical changes but never anything beyond surface level "he got abs now" type deal

increased upper body strength, and suddenly being able to lift objects more easily

feeling your peach fuzz turn into coarser hairs

having your mustache long enough to munch on (don't tell me y'all don't too)

wearing your binder just right so that your Gender Outfit looks even better

NSFW feeling yourself get hard for the first time (and many more! oh god so many more...)

buying v nice Guy shoes and working them in

PANTS POCKETS OH THANK THE POCKET GODS!!!!

((pants pockets...))

being gendered correctly without correction

better yet, being gendered correctly because the speaker respects you and your personhood

(i am queer af so) painting my nails but Guy

your self grooming ritual becoming more elaborate because you actually now want to take care of yourself

you finally see You in the mirror. You in your gestures, your expression, your life. You're finally seeing You.

That's all the things i could think of atm. might add more later if i think of any.

If anyone wishes to add on, feel free to do so!

#transgender #gender euphoria #trans man #trans pride #transmasc #transgender pride #gender discussion #open discussion #god this is so random #i never do this #i hope some people see this id love to see more positive experiences on here

[themarydragon]

What I'm Working On:

Slightly better title than "Fic Scheduling" but still clunky. I'll workshop it some more.

Currently posting ME fic. "One and Done" will be done this week. "Red Letter Days" will take us into the new year. It's sequel, "Sabbatical" and it's companion "Off the Record" are ready to go right behind it; both are finished but aren't yet drafted to AO3 so I'm not entirely sure the chapter or word counts. It's a lot, though.

Currently playing ME3 so I can finish part 3 of The Chakwas Fic. I know how it goes down, I'm just a stickler for trying to stay reasonably close to canon, so I've got a lot of datamining to do, so I'm writing as I play and playing as I write.

Original Worlds: I wrote a short Original Fiction story just to vent a sadness, and I'm seriously deliberating putting it up somewhere. The OF I was previously working on has been rattling around for half a year now and I think I know how to get past the place I was stuck. Intentionally NOT doing that, though.

Side projects: starting to dabble harder in visual novels and then being hit hard with the OC stick and writing up How My OC Did It and contemplating posting. I've got (finished) stories for three of them now - Blooming Panic, Our Life, and Andromeda Six. Not at all sure I want to post them. If you read this and have an opinion, please let me know, I'm genuinely torn.

Somebody please talk me out of re-writing Howl's Moving Castle from Howl's perspective. I recently read it and decided I wanted his POV and somebody needs to talk me down.

Zelda: I'm at the excerpt-writing stage, where individual scenes scream at me until I write them, and then they go into an unwieldy text file that I read and re-read to get motivation and inspiration and eventually they get copy-pasted out of there into the body of the actual work. Which, if you're keeping track, there will be three of. I've got the Zelda POV well underway, several scenes from the Link POV keeping me up at night, and a full outline for How to Fix "Born a Storm" It is happening, and I am hoping will be what my muse fixates on this winter.

And, as a treat: the Zelda POV will be "Still So It Flows."

"A river is time in water; as it came, still so it flows, yet never is the same." (Leonardo Da Vinci)

The Link POV will be "Restless Waters"

"Do not turn me into restless waters if you cannot promise to be my stream." (Sanober Khan)

Honorable mention:

"Rivers know this; there is no hurry. We shall get there someday." (A.A. Milne)

#fanfic #my fic #fic writer #author #me #me irl #fic updates #I am in so many fandoms right now I s2g #I never do this #losing my mind over here #but shit is definitely happening

[canofamberart]

me??? posting art??? wow

also??? ME??? DOING A DIGITAL PAINTING????

#digital art #digital painting #digital drawing #artists on tumblr #am i tagging correctly #i never do this #this was for my mom #her fav flower is a gerbera daisy :) #canofambersoup art

[tumbling-through-the-world]

I'm shooting my shot. Wish me luck 😅

#i'm scared #gonna ask a pretty girl to go dancing with me this weekend #i never do this #help #kayleigh's love life

[frikatilhi]

Super late but now I wanna do it too!!

#joker out #i never do this #but this seemed fun #i've been voting on every poll i see #even if i don't know you #because vibes cannot be argued with

[wholesome-supervillain]

conscript time

if you can figure it out i’ll love you forever

here is the inspiration. it doesn’t mean anything but it looked cool so i used the aesthetic

#for the colors i just rolled d5 26 times #they’re random #linguistics #conlang #conlanging #conscript #neoscript #writing systems #bookblr #books #tiny books #i’m just tagging everything i can think of lmao #i never do this #bookbinding #dark academia #light academia #aesthetic #please don’t kill me for these tags

[wittylittle]

#i never do this

[theunclekittycat]

Chapters: 29/? Fandom: Naruto Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Naruto, Tsunade (Naruto), Original Ootsutsuki Character(s), Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Yamato | Tenzou, Sarutobi Asuma, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Yamanaka Ino Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Mental Health Issues, Kid Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Slow Build, Falling In Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Original Character(s), Major Character Injury, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Self-Discovery, My First Fanfic, Childhood Trauma, Childhood Memories, Male-Female Friendship, Developing Relationship, Developing Friendships, Canonical Character Death Summary:

Angel Sarutobi or Akuma Otsutsuki?

Angel is a woman with a messy past and eyes that don't belong to her. Coined as one of the best Hidden Leaf Shinobi, she tries her best to live up to the title. No distractions, no excuses. She worked hard for her title and she can't risk losing it now. But, her past is catching up to her. With a target on her back and pent up anger towards the Hokage, she finds it difficult to decide where her loyalties lie.

Kakashi Hatake is a man who has gone through it all. Angel despises him at first as he always gets under her skin. The years pass and the hard feelings fade. Something about him melts the ice around her heart.

She is torn between two names. Pulled towards two opposing sides. Does she let the woes of her past consume her, or will the promise of a brighter future save her from the darkness?

#naturofanfic #fanfic #naruto #kakashi #kakashifanfic #kakashihatake #hatake #hatakekakashi #Kakashixreader #YALL R SLEEPING ON THIS INCREDIBLE FIC #ITS SO GOOD #IM OUT HERE PROMOTING OK #I NEVER DO THIS #BUT YALLL NEED THIS LIKE YALL NEED COFFEE I SWEAR #THIS FIC IS EPIC #SO GOOD #ANGEL THE MC IS SO FUCKING WELL WRITTEN LIKE DJDKSJBS #ONLY NICE PPL ALLOWED TO COME ENJOY THIS BOON TO THE WORLD THAT IS THIS FIC OK #ALL THE LOVE AND BLESSINGS AND WONDERFUL THINGS IN LIFE TO THE WRKTER MISSFUCKINGSUNSHINE 🖤🖤🖤

[lorenlily]

should I make a end of year list of artists/discographies I've listened to this year?

#i never do this #but literally ive listened to more new music year this than i ever have in my life #i have a list of the artists just not my thoughts idk if anyone would want to read them 🤷‍♀️

[kingkangyohan]

ok people, I need to endorse this fic.

it's so good, juicy and original.

It's I Ain't Done, by YourKnightOfRage.

Escaping from the safe house Pete accidentally kills Vegas and now Vegas is a ghost, but only Pete can see him. It sounds bonkers, but trust me on this. It's so well written, and the way it describes how Pete and Vegas just made sense when they were at the safe house is sublime.

It's not completed yet, but the updates so far have been really regular.

read it.

#I never do this #but when I do it's apparently for ghost sex fics #somehow #very star trek of it #remma #vegaspete #vegaspete fic rec #kinnporsche #YourKnightOfRage #i ain't done fic

[d10nsaint]

theres so little fics for hanwool phi that im READING MY OWN WORK

#I NEVER DO THIS #GOD