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amhrosina · 2 years

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Light My Love (Matt Murdock x Reader)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST

A/N: I tweaked the request just a bit, but I think I like how it came out! Thanks for requesting, nonnie! Also, I'm realizing that I need to write more happy Matt lmfao all i write for him is angst and this poor man just needs to be HAPPY!

Request: could you do a fic where reader gets hurt from matt’s work and he keeps blaming himself and reader comforts him?

Summary: Matt is in serious need of comfort when he blames himself for your injuries. (Someone pls hug this man he NEEEEEDS it)

(Warnings: angst (what’s new lmfao), some mentions of violence, matt leans heavy into self-hatred in this one, fluffy matt, matt makes pancakes at the end lol)

The drip from the leaky faucet in the corner of your cell was beginning to grate on your nerves. You’d already tried everything to get it to stop – slamming your shoe on it repeatedly, twisting the handles all the way around, trying to pull the entire thing from the wall. It was no use. The water kept coming, and you kept waiting for it to stop.

It had been two days since you’d last seen Matt – two days since you’d interfered with his mission and gotten yourself kidnapped by some low-level cartel members. Your stomach hadn’t stopped rumbling, and the little sleep you had been able to get was restless.

The guys who kidnapped you weren’t particularly interested in you. They had thrown you in the windowless cell and mostly ignored you since then, but you could hear them moving around on the floor above you at all hours of the day. You had to give them credit – they might be idiots, but they were observant enough to recognize that Daredevil cared about you. That’s why they grabbed you, and that’s why you were kicking yourself for getting involved in Matt’s business.

You hadn’t really been trying to get involved. Truly. Matt may be a hot mess, but he was always on time, and when he never showed up for your dinner date, you got worried. A gnawing concern ate at your stomach as you walked around Hell’s Kitchen searching for any sign of him. The next thing you knew, a knife was being held to your throat and Matt was being beaten into the concrete in front of you.

You had distracted him, and it had gotten both of you hurt. Or killed. You didn’t know where Matt was. You tried not to think about it – the idea that your life partner could be dead because of your mistake. Instead, you focused on the pattern the goons in the room upstairs were making on the ceiling.

Three steps to the left, two forward, three to the right. Maybe they were dancing? You hadn’t been able to figure it out, but the pattern had grown to be a soothing white noise in the background of this living hell.

A thud on the ceiling startled you out of your lightheaded haze, followed shortly by the unmistakable scream of one of the men upstairs. The sounds that followed were as terrifying as they were relieving. He was here. You crawled to your feet, leaning on the wall for support and listening to the screams as they got closer and closer to you.

Your knees buckled as Matt’s broad frame kicked through the door. He was a sight to behold in his full Daredevil gear, crimson colored and scary as hell. You whimpered as he fell to his knees in front of you, one hand resting on your cheek while the other held your body weight up.

“Tell me you’re okay. Tell me they didn’t hurt you, sweetheart.” Matt’s voice cracked as he looked you over for injuries.

The lower half of Matt’s face, the part that was visible with the mask on, was covered in scruff. You could tell he hadn’t shaved since the last time he saw you. Probably hadn’t eaten or slept either. Tears finally began to stream down your cheeks. He was here, and he was breathing, and he was okay.

“Matty.” Your throat was dry and scratchy from the hours you had spent screaming at your captors, begging them to free you.

Matt lifted you in his arms, cradling you against his chest and walking out of the cell and towards the back of the building. The unconscious bodies in the hallway were enough to remind you how dangerous Matt could be when he let the devil out, but you weren’t afraid. You would never be afraid of Matt.

When Matt exited the building, you were expecting the sunlight to temporarily blind you, but it was almost as dark outside as it was in your dingy cell. You were about to ask Matt how far away from home you were when you realized he was headed directly towards a parked car around the corner.

Foggy jumped out of the driver’s seat, hurrying to open the back door so Matt could climb in with you.

“Is she okay?” he asked, swallowing thickly.

“She’s-” Matt’s voice was gruff, “She’s alive,” he finally said, leaning forward to climb into the car. He didn’t let go of you, even when he sat down and Foggy had pulled away from the curb. He just tightened his grip on you, pulling you even closer to his body. The ache to touch him grew in you tenfold when you realized how exhausted you both were. You lightly began tracing the bottom of the mask, tugging the material over Matt’s head.

He was always beautiful, but you could see the strain of the last few days in the way he hung his head low. His eyes, usually so pretty and full, were muted in color and half-lidded.

“Did you sleep at all while I was gone, my love?” You mumbled, scratching the scruff on his cheeks and chin.

“I had to find you. It wasn’t an option.” He bit out, trying to hide the groan crawling up his throat at your touch.

“I’m sorry I-” You started, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Don’t apologize,” Matt sounded distraught, “Why are you apologizing? It’s me who should be begging on my knees for your forgiveness.” A tear made its way down his cheek, falling onto your shoulder.

You furrowed your brow, glancing at Foggy, who was doing his very best to look like he wasn’t overhearing a very intimate conversation between his best friends.

“I don’t understand, Matty,” You finally responded, wiping under his eyes with your thumbs.

“I’m meant to protect you. That’s my job, and I failed. You got hurt, and it’s my fault, and I wouldn’t blame you if you left me the minute we get home. I am undeserving of anyone’s love, but most of all yours.”

Stunned silence filled the car. Matt’s eyes were squeezed shut, trying and failing to stop the overflow of tears falling down his face. Foggy’s expression was one of pure concentration as he navigated New York City traffic, but his frequent glances in the mirror read as a deep concern for his friend.

“Matty, hey, don’t do that. I’m the one that messed up. I followed you when I should’ve trusted that you would be okay. It was my fault, not yours.”

“Stop.” He gritted out, resting his head on the headrest behind him.

You fell silent, resting your head on his chest. He couldn’t be rational when he was this worked up, and you were so exhausted that you didn’t want to argue with him.

Foggy pulled around the back of Matt’s apartment building and you reached for Matt’s mask. Even though the clock on the dashboard said it was 3:42 in the morning, you couldn’t risk Matt being seen by anyone without his mask on. You pulled it onto his face, planting a soft kiss on his cheek when you were finished.

When Foggy opened the door, you moved to climb out yourself, but Matt wouldn’t let you budge. He climbed out, still holding you against his body.

“I’m not made of glass, ya know,” you said, scoffing at Matt’s unwillingness to let you go and then turning to Foggy, “Thank you, Foggy. We can talk...later?”

“Yeah, yep. Mhmm.” Foggy was looking between you and Matt, scrunching his eyebrows together in what you could only describe as a mix of confusion and concern. You smiled, nodding at him reassuringly even though dread was beginning to build in your gut.

Matt swiftly carried you through the apartment building, refusing to set you down until he had locked the door behind him with the deadbolt, and even then, he would only set you down on the couch.

As soon as he let you go, you jumped to your feet, immediately swaying with exhaustion. Matt sighed, pulling his mask off and shaking his head.

“How long has it been since you slept, sweetheart?” He asked, unbuttoning his suit and pulling the different pieces of it off one at a time.

“I don’t...” you started, trying to blink the exhaustion from your eyes, “I don’t know.”

He tugged on your hand, leading you to the bedroom, where you collapsed onto the bed with a sigh.

“Matty, the sheets.” You tried to push yourself off, not wanting to stain his sheets with the scent of that awful place, but he lightly pushed you back down.

“Don’t worry about them. Sleep, sweetheart.” He pressed a kiss onto your forehead, resting his lips there for a few seconds longer than normal. You realized when he stood and didn’t move towards the door that he would continue standing there until you fell asleep.

Luckily for him, your eyes were on their way to closing whether you liked it or not, so you let the exhaustion wash over your body and drifted off to sleep almost immediately.

When you woke, you couldn’t figure out what day it was, or how much time had passed since you’d fallen asleep. The sheets had been changed, and you were wearing one of Matt’s big T-shirts. Matt was sitting on the other side of the bed, back pressed against the headboard. He was clean shaven and wearing new clothes, but he still looked exhausted.

“Did you sleep at all?” You asked, pushing your body into a sitting position. The soreness in your muscles startled you. You hadn’t noticed the stiffness earlier, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins was probably the only thing that kept you going for as long as you did. That, or you had been asleep for much longer than you realized.

“Some.” He responded, finally looking in your direction.

You crawled forward, swinging your leg over his hips so you could straddle him. It wasn’t a sexual movement, and Matt knew that. You had spent many mornings in this exact position, holding each other and talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. Matt’s hands brushed over your exposed thighs, settling on your waist.

“You shaved.” You pointed out, eyeing his expression. You hadn’t forgotten the conversation from the car, and you weren’t planning on moving until you and Matt had finished talking.

“You don’t remember?” he asked, tilting his head.

“I guess not.”

“A few hours after you fell asleep, you got up begging to take a shower. I changed the sheets and shaved while you did that.”

“Oh.” You mumbled. Your hands toyed with the hair at the nape of Matt’s neck.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” Matt’s face had fallen so quickly that it broke your heart. He buried his head in your shoulder, wrapping you in a hug in the same motion. “I’m so, so sorry. Could you ever forgive me?”

“Matty,” you sighed, hugging him tightly, “There’s nothing to forgive. You saved me before anything really bad could happen.”

“What if I couldn’t find you? What if you died in that cell because I couldn’t make it in time?” He pressed his forehead against yours and let out a shuttering breath. He was seconds away from breaking completely.

“Baby, you did find me, and I’m okay. I only have a few bumps and bruises. You saved me, Matt.”

Matt’s face contorted into a mask of rage – not at you, but at himself.

“I promised I would protect you. That’s the most important promise I’ve ever made, even more than any promises I’ve ever made to God, and I broke it.” His voice cracked and he tightened his hold around you.

“Matty, you saved me. And you wouldn’t have had to protect me if I hadn’t gone looking for you. I knew you were working a dangerous case and I went anyways. This isn’t your fault, baby.”

Matt’s body shook as he cried into your shoulder. He was hugging you so tightly that not even God himself could’ve pried his fingers away from you. You couldn’t tell how much time was passing, but you didn’t mind. You kissed Matt’s hair, ran your hands up and down his back, and hugged him back just as tightly. You would do this forever if you had to.

When Matt finally righted himself and sat back, his eyes were swollen and red. You couldn’t help the kisses you placed on his eyelids. He just looked so pretty, and he always relaxed under your touch, so you leaned in, planting a kiss on his lips.

“I love you.” Matt whispered, squeezing your waist for emphasis.

“I love you, Matty.” You smiled, kissing him again. Your stomach loudly growled, and Matt gave you a small smile.

“You’re hungry, sweetheart.”

“I guess I am.” You giggled.

“Want some pancakes?” he asked, bringing his lips to yours again.

You suddenly looked around, trying to figure out what time of day it was.

“How long did I sleep for?” You finally asked after not being able to figure out if it was dawn or dusk.

“You slept most of the day away. It’s probably around 6 or 7 now.” Your stomach growled again.

“Then hell yes, I want some pancakes.” You jumped off Matt, tugging him out of bed with you. You pulled him in for another kiss. “But only if I get to see your pretty smile first.”

Matt’s grin melted your heart. It always did, but after what you both went through over the last few days, seeing him smile again was like rain after a drought.

“There it is.” You mumbled, matching his grin.

You could’ve sworn a blush crept up Matt’s neck, but you didn’t want to make him so embarrassed that he couldn’t make your pancakes, so instead of mentioning it, you pulled him towards the kitchen, squeezing his hand the entire way. He didn’t let go, even when you sat down to eat. Later, when his exhaustion finally caught up to him, you snuggled next to him in bed, refusing to let go of him for the rest of the night.

Tag List:

@alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @xleiaorgana @mukbee @soft-emo-enby @purple-amaranthe @kokoterainonago666 @blackwidownat2814 @minervadashwood @emiemiemiii @h4rrys @messymissy @mylifeispainandiloveit @mossexe @alina02 @spikedhe4rt @fictional-hooman

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amhrosina · 2 years

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Like Real People Do (Matt Murdock x Reader)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST FORM

A/N: this was requested, and i would do anything for matt murdock, so pls enjoy this nonnie! i couldn't pick between these gifs, so here's two <3

Summary: Matt wakes you up from a nightmare and you have a panic attack. He calms you down and cuddles you until you fall back asleep in his arms.

(Warnings: reader has a panic attack, mentions of past trauma, mentions of potential child abuse, soft!matt being the cutest)

“Matt, for the last time, I am not taking your bed from you. You’re blind! That would make me, like, the worst person in the world!”

“I thought you didn’t care what people thought.” He smirked, continuing to throw blankets and pillows towards the couch.

“Call it a concern for my eternal soul, Murdock.”

“You’re worried about what God thinks?” He scoffed.

“There’s a lot of things I’ll have to answer for when I die, Devil Man, but making the blind man who’s harboring a mob target in his apartment sleep on his own couch won’t be one of them.”

Matt smiled, then shook his head. “I think He might let this one slide.”

He wasn’t budging, and you were beginning to grow tired of arguing with him about it.

“Fine, fine, whatever. Damn me to hell.” You rolled your eyes as he barked out a laugh.

The glow of the living room changed colors as the advertisement outside the window started over from the beginning. Red light coated the walls, spilling across the floor like paint. You watched it tiptoe up Matt’s shirtless torso, eyeing the scars littered across his back. You turned away before he could pick up on your increased heartrate.

Unlike the other person in the room with you, you weren’t blind. Matt was an extremely pretty man. But he knew he was pretty, and you were sure that every person who’d ever met him had told him so, even if it was just with their heartbeat.

Matt ran his fingers under the couch cushions, securing the sheet in place. He bid you goodnight, and you settled into the silk sheets on his enormous bed. Yes, you decided, I will definitely be purchasing silk sheets as soon as the Russians are dealt with.

The Russians had become a giant pain in your ass. They knew you were connected to the “man in black”, as they called him, and wanted to get their greasy hands on you to bait Matt into showing himself. Matt had insisted on you staying at his apartment, where he could keep an eye on you while he figured out how to deal with the Russians. You had accepted his offer, grateful that he was willing to harbor you, but you were already feeling stir-crazy, and it was only the first night here.

You rolled over, sinking into Matt’s pillow, letting the subtle scent of laundry detergent lull you to sleep.

Your name was being shouted. It echoed around your head, and you felt beads of sweat running down your neck. You were overwhelmingly hot, panting as you fought your way towards consciousness. Hands grasped your cheeks, and you lurched out of bed, throwing the covers off of your body and falling to the floor. Your knees harshly banged against the wood, shooting pain up your legs. Uneven breaths turned into gasps as you felt hands around your shoulders. You yelped, clawing at the floor to get away from whoever was grabbing you.

Your name rung through the air as hands touched your cheeks. Finally, you looked up, forcing whoever was there to kill you to look you in the eyes before doing it. Instantly, fear turned to regret. Your eyes met Matt’s, who was whispering your name under hushed breaths.

“Breathe.” His voice was stern, but worry was laced in his tone as he softly stroked your cheeks. He repeated your name again, “Breathe. Deeper. There you go. Can you focus on finding five things you can see right now?”

You lurched out of his hands, heart still pounding, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m sorry for waking you. I’m fine.” You hunched over, hanging your head between your knees as you tried to slow your breathing down.

“You’re not fine. Your heartbeat just skyrocketed out of nowhere. I thought someone was trying to kill you in here.” Matt followed you, crouching down in front of you.

He gently took your hand, placing it on his chest where you could feel the steady drum of his heartbeat. His hand covered yours, holding it in place. Your body started to to relax, his heartbeat grounding you. You raised your head, looking into Matt’s concerned face. That’s when you realized Matt was shirtless, and your hand was being pressed into his VeryNakedChest.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“What!” You yelped, pulling your hand away and shooting to your feet.

“Your heartbeat just picked back up again.” He said, confusion evident on his face.

You began to pace in front of him, ringing your hands together.

“Was it a nightmare?” He asked, creeping to his full height.

“Yes.” You answered bluntly, uninterested in continuing the conversation.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay. Okay, that’s fine,” he paused, still speaking in a hushed tone, “but you have to stop pacing. Your heartbeat is still elevated.”

You halted, staring at the bed that you’d fallen asleep in. The covers were splayed out, soaked in sweat. It looked like a tornado had slept in the bed, rather than a person. Turmoil rolled in your gut. Not only had you ruined Matt’s perfectly soft and well-made bed, but you’d also woken him up, probably giving him a heart attack in the process.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, running your hands over your face. You would not cry in front of him.

“Don’t apologize. Are you okay?” He met you where you stood in the bedroom, holding out his hands. A request, you supposed, to hold his hands until you were settled. You lightly set your hands on his, focusing on anything except the fact that his thumbs were now brushing over your knuckles.

“I’m-,” you breath shuddered as you spoke, “I think I’m okay, now.”

He brought a hand to your cheek, wiping the tears that had begun their descent. You hadn’t even realized you were crying. You barely remembered the nightmare, but it had to be a bad one, or else Matt would still be asleep in the living room.

“Do you get nightmares a lot?”

You furrowed your brow, trying to find any words that could explain your recurring dreams. More tears pricked at your eyes, willing themselves to fall.

“Sometimes, I guess. My childhood was...rough. I don’t remember much of it. I think there’s probably some trauma I need to deal with.” You choked out a laugh. There was definitely some trauma you needed to deal with, but you weren’t going to admit that to Matt tonight.

Matt slowly nodded, but you saw a streak of the devil in his eyes. He was going to ask questions, but not right now. Not tonight.

“Let’s try to go back to sleep, okay?” He tugged on your hands, leading you to the other side of the bed, where you hadn’t sweated through the sheets. Your hands grew clammy thinking about being left alone in the dark again. There was no way you’d fall back asleep tonight.

“Hey, don’t worry, okay?” Matt climbed onto the bed, resting his back against the headboard. “I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep. No one can hurt you here. I promise. Come here.”

His tone was warm and inviting – lighthearted, even, like he didn’t want you to overthink the situation. His arms opened up, wrapping around you as you climbed into his lap. He had you cradled against his chest, resting his chin on your head. Your ear was directly next to his heart, something Matt probably orchestrated on purpose. He was giving you something to focus on so that you didn’t focus too hard on trying to fall asleep.

The last thing you remember is Matt’s lips brushing over your hair, kissing you so lightly you thought you might’ve imagined it.

Soft light filtered through the window. A morning haze coated the bedroom walls, condensation built up on the windows. The early morning sounds of New York buzzed in your ears. Taxi’s honking, bodegas opening their grates, life happening just beyond the glass.

Your eyes homed in on the mug of tea sitting on the bedside table, still steaming. You could vaguely hear Matt moving around in the kitchen. The scent of bacon wafted into your nose, sending your stomach grumbling. There was a noteworthy pause in the noise coming from outside the room. It returned soon after. Matt knew you were awake.

You carefully grabbed the tea, gravitating towards the smell of freshly cooked food. Matt was hunched over the stove, shirt thankfully on. You sat at the island, watching him gracefully move around. Even seeing, you were convinced you couldn’t move as gracefully as Matt did. He was constantly surprising you.

“Did you sleep alright? After the, uh, incident?” His voice echoed across the room.

“Yes, but I think you knew that.” You smiled, sipping your tea.

He set a plate of food in front of you and handed you a fork.

“You don’t have to talk about it to me, but I think you should talk about it to someone. Eventually.”

His face held a soft glow. He wasn’t being judgmental, and he didn’t seem to mind that you had woken him up in the middle of the night. You tilted your head, trying to think of the words you could say to express your gratitude, but your brain still felt foggy from sleep, so you just settled on, “Thank you, Matty,” and that was just fine with you. For now, at least.

End Note: I think I'm incapable of writing fics that tell a story from start to finish. There's so much room for more in this story, so don't be surprised if this turns into a multi-parter. Thank you for reading and requesting! I hope you enjoyed Matt being an absolute doll.

Requests are open!

Tag List:

@alexxavicry @xleiaorgana

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