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alienaiver · 1 year

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Chapter 2: inches

Chapter summary: Becoming the crown has not been easy - you’re not sure how far you’d gotten without Sugawara’s grounding support. You’re no closer to solving your father’s assassination than before and it’s wearing on you - until an endlessly kind but loud visitor reveals information that might be useful in your search for answers.

Warnings for this chapter: the mentions of parental death is still a theme and there’s some behavior that definitely does not scream self-care (not taking care of yourself)

Wordcount: 7.9k

Chapter content: fluff, sfw, fantasy AU, royalty AU, mild angst, genderneutral reader (so neutral that both men and women can also insert themselves), poc and bodytype! friendly reader, no use of y/n, intense use of ‘your majesty’ is still very much a thing, theyre very soft your honor

notes: heres chapter 2!!! so far this is personally my favorite but we’ll see if i change my mind when i finish the final chapter! i also think this chapter is far less stunted in the medieval/fantasy-inspired language use which im very proud of! its very fun to see the improvements! thank you again for reading and for all your kind comments on the previous chapter! feel free to crucify me for being seven (7) minutes late posting this, since my cat sat on my pc and made me drop my pc to the ground OwO kdjskdskf

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” It’s common for the advisor’s study to be near the crown.” You tell Sugawara as he browses his bookshelf for a certain document. He hopes you don’t see the wince he tries to refrain from doing in your presence. It’s a subject he’s been avoiding – the tower where his study lies is inconvenient at best and inaccessible at worst. Asking the crown of the kingdom to climb the winding staircase each time they want something from him seems excessive – which is exactly why it’s common for the advisor to be close to the royal quarters.

But Sugawara’s attached. This is his domain, his corner of the castle that he’s turned into his own castle. The stained-glass windows that light the desk just right in the afternoon sun and the way his tea is the perfect temperature at arrival after he has carried it freshly brewed from the kitchens locks him into place. He’ll do whatever you ask of course, but he was hoping you wouldn’t.

“Would your majesty like me closer?” he asks as he drags his pointer across files, searching for the one containing information about climate crisis laws. He hears you suck in your teeth and he has to bite his own lip at the mental image of you he has right now, you’re cute when you’re frustrated. “I often find you here, roaming, existing. Would you like to stay?” you counter him with another – unexpected – question and he finds himself biting his cheek. “I shall be where you want me, your majesty.”

He hears you flop down and is not at all surprised at the position you’ve situated yourself in on the armchair when he turns back around. Only around him do you allow yourself to sit in such improper positions, but he doesn’t seem to mind – feels lucky that you trust him so. You sigh and blow out air dramatically, puffing up your cheeks. He smiles gently at you, “I did not intend to offend, your majesty. I only meant to serve.”

You huff and look away, your arms crossed over your chest before you bite out, “and yet you avoid answering my question.”

Sugawara sighs and leans against his desk with his palms on the edge. He looks at you, “it’s inconvenient and-“

“For whom?”

He raises his eyebrows at you as you interrupt him and you elaborate, “for whom is this inconvenient? It is a very lovely space you’ve carved for yourself over the years. I would like my advisor to be comfortable as well, not just correct and proper to old customs.”

Sugawara’s been your advisor for little more than a month now, but nothing takes him more back than when you go against the customs or traditions to make him feel at ease or like he matters. He doesn’t feel worthy of such accommodations, yet you continue to throw them at him. He has to lift a hand to hide his laugh behind a palm, taken aback once again by your almost childish yet considerate and mature way of behaving.

You snicker, a triumphant smile on your lips as you straighten your back, “it’s settled then. This will be the official quarters of the royal advisor and official business not directly related to the court shall be conducted here from here on out.”

“Eh?” is all Sugawara is able to get out, eyes wide and eyebrows shot up to his hairline. You laugh and dismiss his confusion with a shake of your lifted hand, “it’s fine, Sugawara. I can see that you’re comfortable here and I’d hate to take it from you. I am serving you as much as you are serving me.”

He doesn’t agree with that sentence but he also knows when to argue with the crown.

“Well, thank you, your majesty.” He bows at you and you nod back, “it is my pleasure.”

Your coronation went well and you’ve been the official ruler of the kingdom for four weeks. You’ve been doing a wonderful job, even if you’re sometimes fickle. He can schedule a meeting with a petitioner on Wednesday that he knows you’re aware of but suddenly you’re sword-training with the Royal Guard or riding into town on an errand for the kitchen, even if it’s never been your job to begin with. He’s had a hard time explaining to you how the errand boys rely on tasks like that for some loose coins but all you end up doing is paying the errand boy for letting you do it.

You remind Sugawara too much of your father and as much as he likes that side of you personally? It’s a nightmare professionally.

Okay, nightmare might be a stretch if he’s being honest because you feel so alive. While you have a habit of neglecting some responsibilities, you are building wonderful and deep relations to the people of your country, working up an image of a reliable and down-to-earth crown – which is needed, after the tragedy of your father’s death. It took a stronger toll on the people that any had imagined, so seeing you uplifting your kingdom is both refreshing and healing.

So he doesn’t say much to you about it. Observes you quietly from the entrance of the gardens, watching you plant seedlings with the maidens and blushing as you spar with none other than Sawamura, overthrowing him with a sword to his neck, triumphant smile on your lips. He’s embarrassed to admit that he wishes it was him, the compromising pose of your win stirring thoughts of what your lips currently look like – and how they’d feel.

///

“There’re not many leads to go on, anymore. The trail ends at Kotohira, the border town near the assassination site.” Sugawara scratches his head, frustrated as he looks at the map you’ve made together. You’ve written down any leads, notes and reports and sorted through them, trying to decipher where there might be a leak you can latch onto, but nothing seems to give.

You sigh as you pull off barbs from your quill one by one and ignore Sugawara when he scoldingly shrieks out a “your majesty!” explaining how that quill was a present from Prince Oikawa of the neighboring kingdom, Seijoh. You groan and throw your head back as you drop the quill on the desk, “he’ll survive, I suppose. I believe he might be more ticked off that I didn’t respond to his condolences letter.”

Sugawara sighs and relaxes his shoulders with a kind smile, “he’s your friend, your majesty. I doubt he’s any more ticked off than worried about you.”

With a guilty expression you sigh and nod, picking at the puffed sleeve of your shirt. The velvet of your vest is hugging you nicely and the color makes your shine all the more obvious. Sugawara smiles, “I’m aware of how frustrating this is, but I assure you, your majesty, that we are doing everything possible to solve this. And hey,” he nears you and places a hand on the desk in front of you, still not daring to touch you directly, “we’ve gotten farther than I imagined we’d be able to. I’m sure more will come up when Daichi returns from his scouting.”

And he’s right, you know this. But the time you’ve been spending in this stuffed map room has started to suffocate you and set roots up through your spine. Grief doesn’t come to you easily and while the tears have made their way through you a couple of times, it still doesn’t feel real that he’s gone yet - only unfair.

You suppose that is a feeling of loss, too. You wish it was less frustrating to lose someone.

Sugawara retreats from his position over the desk and straightens his back once again to become cross-eyed looking at the gathered information. With a clearing of his throat he once again goes over the economic distributions of the Hiashi region, specifically the two villages he was assassinated in between, unable to find the faults that he’d like. After the drought, the crown spent an adequate amount of time – if not more than advised – helping rebuild. Both with a physical presence during the crisis but the monetary value sent their way wasn’t anything to scoff at either so Sugawara finds it hard to establish the connections he wants with the location of the assassination. There’s not much else to do but wait for Sawamura to return with – hopefully – new intel.

There aren’t many people involved. Besides you and Sugawara, only Shimizu, Sawamura and Azumane has been entrusted with the entirety of the investigation. With a shorter leash and fewer intel, a few guards under Sawamura have been entrusted to support the scouting missions.

A knock on the open door is heard and you both turn your heads to see Yachi, Shimizu’s apprentice and – to Sugawara’s knowledge, lover – stand with a tray of teas. She timidly smiles and bows, “I come with afternoon tea. I-I’ve been looking for you in several locations, so I apologize for being sweaty!” she hastily says but immediately freezes after letting out the embarrassing phrase. You smile gently and beckon her closer, “thank you for going to such trouble for me, Yachi. That is very kind of you.”

Yachi smiles tersely before she enters on your demand, “I apologize if the tea is only lukewarm now, your majesty. I will happily fetch a new pot for you if needed!”

You chuckle and shake your head as you help Yachi prepare the cups, “I’m like my father in this regard, I prefer it lukewarm.” You wink at Yachi as if imposing on her a little secret, and the blush on her face is satisfying to watch. Whether it’s because the matron’s apprentice thinks you’re beautiful or simply because you’re her majesty, you’ll never know, but she’s adorable, nonetheless. Sugawara shakes his head at your behavior as he tries to take over from you. Yachi has started pouring the tea with skillful calmness and you lean back on the chair you’re situated in. “Oh! Your majesty!” she suddenly exclaims halfway through pouring the second cup, seemingly remembering a very important detail. You perk up at both the sound of your title but also the sudden loud voice she used. You nod and she sheepishly bows and apologizes for yelling in your presence. You dismiss her with a smile and she straightens her back, “a runner arrived a few short moments before I was sent here, so the matron told me to deliver the news. Emperor Bokuto is on his way from Fukurodani and will arrive within the next week.”

That perks both you and Sugawara up. No scheduled visits from anyone are in your radar for at least another month – not to mention the annual visit between the two kingdoms was completed by your father. Yachi bows and grabs the tray, “well then, I’ll return to the kitchens. Emperor Bokuto’s runner will be in the servant’s kitchens for a few more hours, I believe. Then we’ll instate him in the west quarters, if that’s to your liking for the Fukurodani Empire to rest when they arrive?”

You’re barely out of the stupor from the news, so you mindlessly dismiss her with a wave, agreeing without really knowing what you’re agreeing to. Sugawara takes over and politely thanks Yachi as he follows her to the door, telling her to say hi from Shimizu from him. As he closes the door after Yachi’s departure, he also steals a glance your way. Your underlip is worried between your teeth and your eyes look far away, like you’re not even in the room. Your body is lounged on the chair, but there’s no denying how tense you look, any care for pretenses thrown away. You’re worried.

It was early and quickly determined that the assassination of your father had nothing to do with Fukurodani – or any other empire for the matter, thanks to the few survivors. The attacker’s dialects were all from Karasuno and the few attackers that passed away or didn’t make it out was confirmed to be locals from the region in which the former crown was killed.

Early in your investigation, there was suspicions of hired contractors but it seemed highly unlikely to be the neighboring empire of which you were on such good standings with. Sugawara sighs theatrically as to call you back to the room, and you react as he expected by returning your gaze to him, “do you think…?” is all you seem to be able to get out.

Sugawara shakes his head and smiles kindly at you, walking back to his prior position on the stool next to the wall where he crosses his legs and furrows his brows, “hardly, your majesty. The relationship between us has never been better or more profitable than now. Fukurodani would do themselves a disservice to cut such a tie.”

You nod, about to zone out again so Sugawara continues, “however, I believe that Emperor Bokuto might fear that our thoughts lie there. He might just seek to rectify any misgivings.”

You smile and reach for your tea, “possibly. I guess he wouldn’t announce his arrival either if he planned for unfriendliness.”

Sugawara agrees. As he’s about to get up to reach for his teacup too, you hurry to reach for it and stretch out your arm towards him, “I hope you enjoy lukewarm tea too, I apologize I didn’t ask before I told Yachi not to fetch fresh water.” You grimace out your apology and Sugawara can’t help but feel butterflies flutter around his organs at your thoughtfulness and at the face you’re making. He gets light-headed just from knowing that he’ll probably be the only one close enough to see such reactions from you. When he reaches for his teacup in your hands, his fingers brushes yours and in a moment of electrifying excitement, you drop the teacup and you’re both brought back to reality by the sound of the fragile ceramic cup break into a thousand fragments, tea spilling onto both of your garments.

For a moment there’s complete silence as both your gazes are turned downwards to the mess you’ve made. No one moves until the door is abruptly forced open (it wasn’t locked, they had no such need to be this aggressive) as two guards come in, frantically calling for you. “Your majesty, are you alright!? We heard…!” A guardsman under Sawamura, looks at the scene before him and immediately relaxes his stance, even if he still looks tense. His partner, a smaller one with bright orange hair, does as well and laughs, “I’m so glad you’re safe your majesty!” he exclaims and you look up at the two guards in confusion.

They both hurry to straighten their backs, “we were walking past the room when we heard the crash!” the taller one explains and you nod, confusion still obvious on your face, not oblivious to the orange one’s starstruck facial expression towards you either. Sugawara tuts at them, “you can hardly call a teacup being dropped a crash. Also, you two,” Sugawara sends them a look that makes both of them tense up and the scene before you feel almost comical, “weren’t you supposed to be scouting with Daichi today?”

The small one hitches his breath and the dark-haired one looks directly at Sugawara flatly, “he told us to protect the crown instead… sir.”

Ah, Sugawara gets it now. While Sawamura always takes good care of his subordinates – and enjoys training them – these two has caused him more than enough trouble already. He probably took Tanaka and Nishinoya with him instead for the sake of the secrecy.

You start laughing as you get up and bow to the two knights in front of you, “thank you for your continuous hard work.”

Sugawara’s about to scold you for making fun of two freshly picked guards, but the way their eyes light up at your praise makes him realize that they might not be completely in on your teasing. They introduce themselves to you with straight backs and a pitch in their voices as Kageyama and Hinata. You salute them and introduce yourself as well as if they wouldn’t know your name. Sugawara shakes his head at your antics and you smile gently at the two as you put a palm up to your face to block Sugawara’s line of sight to your mouth, “I do need another protection from the two of you!” and they lean in excitedly, ready to partake any quest given by their crown. You lean in as well and in a whisper-voice tell them, “I need a new teacup for my advisor. You see, if he lacks tea, he will mercilessly make me recite laws I have yet to remember. Is there a possibility that you can call for a maid and bring about a new cup from the kitchens?”

The determination in their eyes is flawless, surprising Sugawara as well. They bow to you before they salute you, “we will return shortly, your majesty!” before they start bickering about who should exit the door first.

As they leave the room – with the door unclosed – you can hear their voices ricochet in the hallway, “did you see that, Kageyama! They spoke to me! I got to meet the crown before that stupid Tsukishima!”

You let out a chuckle, “new recruits?” you ask and Sugawara nods, “yeah. I heard they’ve been troublemakers for Daichi though.”

It makes you snort, “I can’t imagine how.”

///

The days up until Bokuto’s arrival passes in a blur. Official visits from other royal entities are usually meticulously planned from every angle. Firstly, their sleeping quarters need to be of a certain standard before arrival, meals and their related purchasing and planning are done a great deal beforehand to ensure highest quality of product, entertainers and minstrels are usually called in before arrival and settled in while the royal host’s schedule is altered so their time spent with the guests are adequate and satisfactory. Sugawara hasn’t known such busy days in the name of chaos before.

Sure, his workload is usually time consuming and all-encompassing to his usual duties, but the stressful chaos in organizing all of these factors with every part of the staff drains him.

He also never really saw himself as an organizer of that sort. That was more in line with Azumane and the head servants.

Sugawara’s in his study, reading up on the agreements made between the two kingdoms. He knows them by heart – but he refuses to misspeak if any of the terms come up in front of neither you nor Bokuto himself. He’s by the bookshelf, biting the inside of his cheek mindlessly as he tries to go through his own crow’s feet of notes to make sense of them. For reasons unknown to him, you’re here as well. He’d imagined you’d be busy with fittings, but you dodge his questions when he prompts them. Your quirky behavior does not always make much sense to him, so he simply lets you stay.

“There was talk of Bokuto’s arrival later today,” you say and Sugawara merely entertains you with a hum. You sigh exasperatedly, moving around in his chair to try and gain his attention. He humors you with no such thing. “The maids are all aghast and giggling through the halls. They’re swooning every time someone mentions his name.” you peer up at Sugawara but another indifferent hum leaves him, merely to mark that he seems to notice you finished your sentence.

“Well, Emperor Bokuto is quite handsome, isn’t he?” you try, doodling random constellations down onto the parchment in front of you on Sugawara’s desk. Sugawara keeps himself from visibly frowning as he stares harder at his own scroll, “his head’s full of white and gray hair,” is the first argument that comes to him, “and he’s so full of himself.”

Before Sugawara has even realized you’ve gotten up, a hair is plucked from his head and you fall back down onto your (his) chair in a relaxed pose not befitting the crown at all, spinning the strand of his hair between your fingers, studying it, “so are yours and that’s also fairly handsome, isn’t it?”

He straightens his back and wills his blush down. Through many years of training as the royal advisor’s apprentice, he’s become good at keeping his face neutral as to not let any information slip in unfavorable situations. However, Sugawara has a weakness and you have a feeling that he might not even be aware he’s suffering from such, but his ears have a habit of showing plainly what his face skillfully hides to the public – the flushed red of them seamlessly revealing the true emotion he’s suppressing.

You pretend to study the strand with more intensity as you keep him in your peripheral vision. You almost feel bad for him. A smile plays itself unto your lips upon seeing him flustered like this.

Sugawara clears his throat and you think his annoyance can be tasted in the air, “your majesty, am I correct to consider this teasing? If so, I would like you to refrain from such on a day as today.” He tries and you sit up properly, nodding at him with a salute. He sends you an unimpressed glare before turning his gaze back to his papers, “you’re hiding, aren’t you.”

It’s not a question, but a statement.

You look pointedly at the table, deciding to study every crevice and vein of the wooden desk. You hear him sigh as he turns his entire body towards you, making a point out of dumping his papers on the corner of the desk. “Your majesty, your competence as a leader is not measured simply in battle strategies or economics, you’re aware of that, aren’t you?”

You nod and like a child, keep your eyes downward. You’re well aware that being overwhelmed by something as simple as festive arrangements will be talk between the servants – and inevitably their families, and their families and then the chain continues. You can’t keep letting Azumane stand with all of the arrangements.

But how are you supposed to know what color curtain is appropriate for royalty? This part of the crown’s weight came easily to your father as well, and a pang of longing hits you. You wish he was here to tell you which colors would absolutely offend Emperor Bokuto and which wouldn’t.

Sugawara squats down to be in the height of the table as he tries to catch your gaze. When he succeeds, you’re blindsided by the absolute kindness emanating from him and his bright eyes. You hitch a breath and feel locked in place, like by a spell.

And there it is again; the smile you’ve come to love so greatly. It’s warm, like the sun and all-encompassing, like a hug. The ones where you’re being squeezed just the perfect amount. He quietly clears his throat as if warning you that he’s about to use his soothing voice, “I know how overwhelming this is, your majesty. I believe it’s a very natural reaction to absurd circumstances. I don’t believe that we’ve had to – at any point in history – prepare for royal visits on such a short notice as this,” Sugawara reaches out for the first time during his supportive speeches to you and touches your hand. You can’t help but notice how warm and soft they are – how they compliment yours. He seems to ignore the way you flinch ever so slightly, “I believe in you.”

The words are so sincere and you can feel his encouraging energy come off of him in waves as he holds your gaze for a moment longer. Against your will you break the eye contact in favor of your heart’s longing to look at his lips. They look soft and inviting. Subconsciously, you lick your own lips and don’t notice the way Sugawara’s ears again flushes red.

You shake yourself out of your stupor before you hope Sugawara notices and straighten your back, “thank you, Sugawara. Your confidence has given me confidence.”

He hurries back up from his crouched position and clears his throat as he corrects his cravat, “that’s what I’m here for, your majesty. I would not support you if I did not believe you’d succeed. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some reading to do.” As he finished his sentence he also sends you a pointed look that tells you, with no room for argument, that you have some work to do as well.

///

You’re standing by the grand entrance to the Karasu Keep in an over-glamoured robe, your jewelry carefully picked by Azumane. There’s the Moonstone, gifted to you by Emperor Bokuto himself, as well as the ring his late mother had picked out for you as well, once you’d joined your father on his visits. Your pants are uncomfortably tight on your midsection and Azumane’s frustration about the length still lingers in you – he’s skillfully hidden the surplus of fabric in the brown leather boots you’re standing in, balancing on your heels as you wait for Bokuto’s arrival. Next to you, Sugawara stands in his robe too, sending you a careful smile.

Sawamura and his finest men are by the vestibule, ready to salute Bokuto with raised swords as he in very few moments will arrive. It’s been quite some years since you last met Bokuto and while nervousness doesn’t exactly explain how you’re feeling, there is tension in your shoulders.

Bokuto’s close to you in age and eight years ago when the original negotiations proceeded there had been brief talk of the two of you marrying to unite the kingdoms. Being momentarily betrothed – however short – still made your heart race even if it was all disregarded right after the talk had been on the table.

You’re ripped out of your thoughts when the sound of a horse’s hooves rounds the courtyard in rapid succession, signaling a horse in gallop. There’s whisper behind you but you’re not surprised as Bokuto rides in, all pride and fun, riding a round and sending his killer smile to the maids ready to receive him and his men. You might even witness him send a wink or two to the poor stable boys throwing him heart-eyed glances as they observe his proper riding posture as he yells out a greeting to everyone, “hey hey hey!”

As he nears you, he slows down his horse and pats its neck, keeping eye contact with you. The horse quiets down and the stable boys stand ready to receive the noble mount. Bokuto lets out an airy laugh as he greets you on his way down, “there’s no better place to ride with the wind than here in Karasuno. The wilderness and mountains perfectly help the experience!” he says, dragging a hand through his face and up through his hair before he gives you a hug. It’s a bear-hug, one you wouldn’t ever have initiated yourself with someone you’ve met so few times. But that’s also what you like about Bokuto, you think. When he pulls back he also lowers himself into a bow before reaching for your hand and giving it a kiss, “I am pleased to meet the new crown of Karasuno Kingdom. I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. He was truly a great man and crown.”

The officiality of his demeanor surprises you but you find a warm smile emanating from your face at his consideration. You nod back at him and offer your first words since he came in as a whirlwind, “thank you for your kind words, Emperor Bokuto. I am pleased to welcome you to the kingdom.”

He snickers as he levels you down, seemingly approving your behavior, “I’ve had a tedious journey, but not too long that I shall decline a wine and a talk. My men will arrive in moments with offerings and need for rest.”

You nod and raise your arm to point the attention on the servants, chamberlains and stable hands standing at the ready, “they’re all ready to accommodate any and all of your demands during your stay. Rooms have been prepared as well as hot food. You can rest easy that your men will be treated as they should.”

He nods and drags you by the shoulders, “let us go and talk, the two of us then. My fiancé shall arrive with the remaining entourage but he stopped to have a look at the local town first. I, however, was impatient.”

You throw your head back in a laugh, “I see that,” you turn your head to Sugawara and motion for him to follow you, “my advisor shall be joining us though I assure he will be no nuisance.” Sugawara trails behind you towards the courtroom where afternoon tea and refreshments has been put out as Bokuto loudly talks of his experiences with the locals on his journey.

Bokuto clears his throat after tasting the wine and says your name in a manner that makes your shoulders tense for a moment. Then, he continues, “I am truly sorry for your loss. Your father was in no worthy measure I can articulate, meant to be crown. He both inspired and guided me when I ascended the throne just a few years back. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the burial.”

You dismiss Bokuto with a kind smile that you hope exudes forgiveness, “I know he was in your thoughts so there is no need to apologize. I’m glad he was of such importance to you and your kingdom.”

Sugawara’s sure that Bokuto haven’t seen it, but he saw the clear shift in you at the mention of your father. Sugawara’s been by your side almost as much as Azumane has since his inauguration and he’s well aware of how stunted your grief process currently is. Grief is erratic, hard to predict but easy to push aside in favor of more manageable tasks – and you’ve had no shortages in such as the new leader of an entire kingdom. The conversation stays on your father and his deeds for a while longer until Bokuto steer them towards a heavier subject. After confirming that there’s no suspicion towards the Fukurodani Empire, Bokuto sighs a sigh of relief and hardens his eyes to start a new subject. One where Bokuto sends Sugawara a wary look, clearly contemplating whether or not he should open his mouth in front of him.

With your sharp eye, you notice this and turn your head toward him as well, “Sugawara is my most trusted ally in every aspect of both my life and work. You need not hold your breath in his presence.”

Bokuto nods at that and clears his throat, “your majesty, suspicious rumors met my ears on my travels to the kingdom. I originally journeyed to show my condolences but also to make sure our relationship did not change. Of course, I also wanted to welcome you into your role as leader and show my support of you,” he takes a sip of his wine as you nod, “through your lands I rested at inns and taverns. I enjoyed riding ahead, announcing that the emperor of Fukurodani was to arrive soon and book the rooms ahead of their coming,” he laughs at this and you think that it’s very like him to do so. After all, he does like to meet the people in a genuine fashion – especially in a country where his face isn’t necessarily known. You bet that he’s been relishing in such new kinds of attention.

“But in traveling like this, I also heard the tavern talk of genuine people. And through the duchy neighboring our borders was the first sign of brewing trouble.”

He sends you a hard gaze, “your majesty, while I’m aware you’re very new on the throne and may not have gone through all aspects of your new profession, I have a question pertaining to the economics shared between duchies.”

You raise your brows at the way he chose to phrase it but turn to Sugawara who clears his throat, “we have been looking back six years on the duchies near the assassination site.”

You nod, “exactly. Is there anything amiss in the people of my duchy?”

Bokuto crosses his arms and seem to be in deep thought, a pout forming. “There seems to be a general consensus that they’ve been cheated in the Hiashi duchy. Could it be my speech?” he seems to think the last part out loud before he deflates, “maybe I misunderstood? I do consider myself fluent in your language though.” You reach a supporting hand to his arm, “and you are, Bokuto. Can I ask you to explain in more thorough detail?”

He seems to puff up again at your praise and you hold back a snort. His heart really is on his sleeve. He continues on then, “there’s bitterness brewing towards the former crown – that he stole from them during their worst time. I remember a drought one year, isn’t that so?”

You nod at his question, “yes. My father journeyed there himself to help with emergency aid of the land and people,” you turn to Sugawara to confirm what you’re saying next, “we also lowered that specific duchy’s tax with 12 percent and have sent financial aid every year since.” Sugawara nods approvingly and you turn back to Bokuto, “I am uncertain how this lines up with such rumors.”

Bokuto winces and sucks in his teeth, “something has definitely been up. However, as soon as my entourage arrived, any and all such talks zipped. In the late hours of my night alone in a local tavern, I heard a group of men cheering to your coronation but in a mocking manner. They started whispering after that, so while I wish I could feed you more information, this is unfortunately all I have. I apologize if I have opened some unpleasant doors and that I can’t provide more.”

You nod and stare at the fruits on the table in front of you, unsure how to properly process this new information. None of this has been coming up in your investigations and your worst fears seems to be battling for your mind right now. Sugawara gets up from his stool on your right side to bow to Bokuto, “thank you, your majesty, for all of your knowledge provided. As you suspect, we’ve had investigations going on and this is vital new information for us to work with. I apologize on behalf of our crown as the grief of their fath-“ Bokuto dismisses Sugawara’s apology, “grief needs time and becoming a crown amidst all of that gives no space to do so. There is no reason to apologize for this.” You turn to Bokuto with a grateful smile and he pats your shoulder in support, “I do not intend for my entire visit to be gloom and doom. I just felt this information was important to deliver as fast as I was able. I will go to my room to freshen up before dinner. I suggest that you do the same.” He gives you a warm smile with shining eyes and you hug him as a thank you. You’re glad for the allies you’ve gotten and you have a feeling he knows more of what you’re going through than most. “I also cannot wait to introduce you to my fiancé.” he says, his eyes turning into heart shapes, his cheeks flushing a deep red. A big warm smile comes onto your face as well, “yes and congratulations with that! I do apologize a letter of congratulate wasn’t delivered but the Seven days of Mourning was proceeding when we heard the news!

Bokuto shakes his head with a smile, “you need to stop apologizing. I am looking forward to introducing the two of you. Care to show me to my room?” he holds out his arm so you can link yours to him.

Sugawara’s walking behind the two of you as your talk turns less official and more casual. He can’t say he’s ever been jealous of royalty, knowing what a pain it can be to be forced on a pedestal whether or not you’re interested but for the first time, a seedling is growing within his organs, cursing his bloodline for making him a commoner. If only he could converse with you in moods so casual, pat your shoulder or tousle your hair in a manner without having to worry about status. He’s well-aware of his position. He knows his feelings are arrogant and that being in love with the crown of his kingdom is an unobtainable dream in any scenario. He’s always been happy just supporting you, being there for you, but seeing you with other people of the same status – who gets the privilege to treat you like a human being like he’s craving to, to ignore status and titles and jobs and hug you whenever he sees the tell-tale signs of grief pushing you to your knees. Sugawara sucks in his teeth as he decides to swallow the bile growing in his throat and get it together again.

Bokuto takes your hands in his and give them a reassuring squeeze, “do not take the stories too deep to heart, my friend. More stories throughout your land was heard as well, and I promise that you’re held in high regard.”

Barely a second passes from the moment Bokuto’s left your side before your mask instantly melts off of your face and the worry lines appear, your underlip worried between your teeth, gaze far away like you’re not even the room while your brows are furrowed. Sugawara winces before he’s able to figure out how to get you back without touching you. The moment before he’s about to reach out to your arm, you seem to come back and shake your head as if to restart your brain and start walking down the hallway. Sugawara follows you and notices the way your hands are linked behind your back. Your current gait mirrors the way your father used to walk through the halls of the keep.

Sugawara expects you to return to your chambers, maybe wash up before you have to be refitted into the evening attire. The banquet tonight will be held to welcome Bokuto and it will surely be tiring. But you take a turn to the left through the halls instead of right to your chambers and he knows where you plan to go. He hurries his pace so he can overturn you and stand in front of you, effectively blocking your path.

“Your majesty,” he says sternly, unsure if he’s allowed to scold you in this matter. The intel that Bokuto provided is important for your stealth investigation so he understands your need to put it together with the knowledge already provided but you look exhausted.

Hurt, too.

You simply look at him, your gaze hardened and empty, emotion barren from your expression. He doesn’t budge though, as he continues, “I advise rest. I will happily write down the information and plot it into our system if you promise me to rest, your majesty.”

You almost pout but not entirely. Then, you deflate as your arms falls to your sides.

“I can’t sleep.”

Sugawara smiles, “I know it’s afternoon but maybe lying down will still do you good, your majesty.”

“No, Sugawara, I can’t sleep.” You give him a glare but there’s no bite behind it, just hope that he’ll understand what you mean. His mouth turns into an ‘o’ shape, “has this been a prior issue?”

You nod, “yeah. Sleep eludes me when I’m stressed. Asahi usually makes it easier but he’s busy.”

Makes it easier? Azumane? Sugawara swallows whatever impure thought comes into his mind before he asks, ��what else will help?”

You pointedly avoid his gaze as you start to fiddle with the fabric of your pants, lip worried between your teeth. “Asahi usually holds my hand and caresses it. It’s childish, but he reads me stories too. Distracts my mind.”

Sugawara’s mind goes into overdrive. What exactly are you implying? Surely he can call a maid to help you with this, maybe someone you already trust that Azumane also trusts to do the job. He starts racking his brain about a possible candidate to do this with you. Maybe he should call on the doctor, Ennoshita? He knows you trust him after you’d gotten into an accident with a wild mare last year and he’d helped you recover. He might have some medicine. Ah, but you also shouldn’t be completely knocked out before the dinner tonight.

“Sugawara.” You say and he’s pulled back to the right now and looks at you. You seem flustered as you look anywhere but directly at him, “I’ll gladly retract my request if I am overstepping but… with my father’s untimely death I fear that I trust very few in the kingdom as of this moment. Would you…” you take in a deep breath and hold it for a few moments before you exhale slowly, “…would you mind… accompanying me to my sleeping chambers?”

Sugawara’s brain stops functioning for a moment. Without intending to he’s simply staring at you with eyes wide, mouth hanging open at the question you just asked him. It feels obscene. In all of his weeks with you he’s never been inside of your sleeping chambers – the closest he’s been is your drawing room where you’ve occasionally eaten breakfast as he prepared you for the day. Even in that room he feels like he’s overstepping, not belonging in a room such as yours. So to think that you just asked him to go in further is incomprehensible. It’s like his brain is unable to process the situation he’s suddenly put in.

“Sugawara, you are my advisor but you are also my friend. I will not hold it against you if you decline. Your comfort is equally important.”

Oh no, you think he doesn’t want to. You think you’ve made him uncomfortable – he needs to say something right away.

You stare at him for a moment more, unsure if he’s even alright before he suddenly inhales sharply after subconsciously holding his breath.

“Ah,” is all he gets out as a start and then sheepishly laugh and scratch his neck, “I’m so sorry your majesty, it seems my head took a short break. But if it helps my crown rest, I will go to the ends of the earth.”

“So you’re not uncomfortable?” you ask to make sure and Sugawara feels his cheeks heat up at your concern. He smiles warmly at you, “not at all, your majesty. You have my word.”

Your sleeping chambers are decorated with all kinds of trinkets and items and Sugawara’s eyes have a hard time finding an anchoring point. There’s paintings and books lining every flat surface as well as small hobby items – of course, he cannot ignore the sword either, hanging haphazardly from the bed alcove’s hook. It’s one of the royal family heirlooms and your father bestowed it to you the day you became the Crown-in-Waiting. He’s only seen you spar with it a handful of times in the past but recently you’ve gotten a habit of picking it up more often.

He's not entirely sure what it means.

The servant from your drawing room excuses herself as you place yourself in the middle of the bed, getting comfortable under your silken covers. Sugawara stands awkwardly next to the end of the bed until you clear your throat, “there’s a stool over there you can bring over.” And then you settle closer to the edge of the bed, on your side so that you face Sugawara. He does as he’s told and sits himself next to your head where you reach out your hand with a timid smile, “it’s okay if you’d rather just… tell stories.” You say with your brows slightly furrowed, clearly trying to hide what you think will be imminent disappointment. Sugawara smiles and tries to confidently grab your hand so he can start running his fingers back and forth on your palm. He decides to not comment on the small yelp you let out at the moment of contact.

“Is there a certain story you’d like to hear, your majesty?” he keeps his focus on your hand, on the veins, the way your joints bend and contract with every movement he makes them do, your hand limb in what he hopes is gentle care. You don’t complain as you sigh out in contemplation, “your childhood. What was it like?”

Sugawara doesn’t even notice how his hand had stopped moving or how his head had raised itself to look at you at your sudden question. You wince, “sorry, shall I leave that subject be?”

He regains his composure and refocuses his effort back to your hand with a smile, “it’s alright your majesty, I was just taken aback is all.”

He thinks about his childhood, how his life has a distinct before and after. The distinction usually were the before and after coming to Karasu Keep but he’s realized there’s a new line in the sand.

Before and after meeting you.

He shakes his head with a small smile and opens his mouth, “my childhood’s common, for this kingdom. I grew up by the northern duchies, in Hakone, tending to rice fields with my grandparents.”

He tells you of his parents, of his little brother and how he and his childhood friend dreamt of more. “There had to be more for us out there, that’s what we kept telling ourselves.” He laughs as he reminisces all the shenanigans he did in his hometown. When he originally left to become a traveling scribe’s apprentice, a lot of the town elders joked about how there’d “finally be calm” in their little rice village.

He tells you of his mentor, your father’s advisor, of how they met when he was just shy of 11 and how your father and his advisor had saved his life on the same day they met from a burning tavern they were all sleeping in. His scribe tutor had passed in the fire and while the crown offered to get Sugawara escorted back to his hometown safely, the opportunity to go to the capital had been far more interesting to him.

You giggle at that part of the story, “is it really that boring in Hakone? I’ve heard it’s beautiful there.” You say and Sugawara chuckles, “beautiful to everyone but eight-year-old boys.”

“I was offered to become the advisor’s apprentice shortly after reaching the keep. I think he’d taken a liking to me during the travels.” He sheepishly admits and you smile warmly, “well you are very charming.”

Sugawara’s throat constricts at your compliment and you pretend that you don’t notice the way his hand squeezes yours a little too tight in surprise. He then straightens his back, “your majesty, I was under the impression that this was supposed to have helped you fall asleep.”

You shift around on your pillow with a small smile but close your eyes, “I love learning about you, so I fear the subject may have been far too interesting.”

Sugawara shakes his head, “I will gladly tell you more at another time, your majesty, if you promise me to try and get some rest.”

You sigh out comfortably, “that’s a promise, then.”

The contribution from my cat was short this time around, however no less important:

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh444444444444444444444444444---

go here to be added to my taglist!

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara x reader #hq x you #nohr.writing #THE PARTYS GETTING STARTED YALL!!!!!!!!!! THE TENSIONS THERE!!!!#i love a good will-they-wont-they #and these two are fucking blEEDING OUT THEIR LOVE THATS HOW OBVIOUS IT IS #the star and the earth fic #boom baby i hope i forgot everything and caught every grammatical error in my prior reading"!!!!!!!#ilysm yall<3 thank u for ur kind words on ch1<3333

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teetering-dinosaur · 8 months

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15, 20, and 31 for ask game <333

15. personality description

oooh. well i guess first and foremost: i have no self-perception like me? idk her (gn)! could not tell you a thing about me! so this question is fun..... i guess um. i guess... well i know one thing is im a nerd, like fully a nerd and have been my whole life. im incapable of being normal about things i love (as evidenced by the existence of my tumblr). i have this deep and unfulfilled desire to be one of those pretentious dark academia girlies (gn) but i'm not smart enough for that :/ um. i'm really indecisive. i'm one of those annoying people who likes nuisance and complexity and room for more than one opinion (even if, especially if! they're conflicting)... like idk i like seeing many sides to things. this is really fun (/sarc) when you have me talking about my interests bc you cannot ask me a simple question i will say "well it depends" or ask what the context is or something else annoying like that... basically im just really wishy-washy about everything i guess

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

hmmmm this is a tough one.... im still not over unreal, unearth i feel like ppl moved on so quickly im still obsessed with it. i'll give my top 3 bc its so hard to choose: francesca, who we are, unknown/nth

31. 3 random facts

i need to do laundry!!

i haven't read a real book in over a month, only fanfic (thanks go brainrot <3)

i have no less than six skulls (not real) in my bedroom right now :)

#the personality description got way too long apologies #thank you for the ask <3333 #its such a special and unique kind of affirmation of my existence to get an ask #its like a similar feeling to getting comments on my fics #like???? i exist???????#lovely :)

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heartpascal · 1 year

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helloooo!! i am in love eith your fics and i wanted to as if will you be doing more drabbles for "the crooked kind" like how you did last time??

i am definitely open to the idea!!! i don’t currently have any ideas for the crooked kind drabble but if you have anything from that universe you’d like to see then feel free to send it in!!! i’ll always see what i can do :’)

although if i ever think of any fluff drabbles it’d be most likely in that universe LMFAO probably the one with the most potential for happiness i think

#heartpascal says #the crooked kind <3333 #i love that fic #plus pre-outbreak father figure joel is probably gonna be the happiest we’ll get #who knows tho we shall see

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tunemyart · 1 year

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I'm so close, I have two more lines to write, ahhhhh

#okay self you have the self discipline to do two more lines and then you can work on whatever #y'all who have any interest in the wide orbit - last two updates tomorrow and sunday #how am i going to feel after this idk!!#i'm having emotions about it!!#it was literally my emotional support fic during a very rough year last year!!#i've been tinkering nebulously away at it for almost a year at this point before i was like huh let's try to give this some form maybe #anyway i love all of you who are reading and all of you who have said a kind word or three or a thousand #<3333 #the wide orbit

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angelcasendgame · 2 years

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#i genuinely have lost count of the number of times i've cried today bc of the comments and dms and tags on my fic #i was so so so anxious about posting it and everyone has been so kind #i keep trying to write responses for the comments but I just get emotional again #tysm to everyone <3333 #love u all #writing adventures

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byuntrash101 · 2 months

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𖤐 𝕯𝖆𝖒𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖔𝖋 𝖆 𝕾𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖙 𖤐

pairing — fem!nun!reader x sin of lust!seonghwa ft. ateez as the other sins

rating — smut | mdni

wc — 13.7k

synopsis — life is dull when you are an immortal being such as seonghwa. every day is the same and you live (or rather, merely exist) through the times crushed by the burden of boredom. until something new comes along in the form of a kind, compassionate and righteous newly ordained nun. and so the sin of lust makes it his personal mission to corrupt the purest of souls: yours.

nsfw tags under the cut

tags — *strap up babes this is a wild one*, a tad of plot, my attempt at humor, heavy religious/blasphemous themes (don't read if you're uncomfy <3), inclusive writing (reader is not physically described), also reader is the embodiment of purity, 20240127 hwa (moodboard here), kinda slow burn kinda vibes, so much tensionnn, mentions of a pxrn magazine, sooo much teasing, hot make out sesh, dom!hwa, also very sly demon!hwa, virgin!reader, supernatural sex, corruption kink (obviously), masturbation (f), oral (f), the (un)holy trinity =teasing, begging, mind breaking), thigh riding, nipple play, clit play, some light impact play (kitty slaps + 1 face slap), breath play, hair pulling, fingering (f), monster cock!hwa, size training, pet names (angel, love, darling, sweetheart), praising, degradation (slut, whore), unprotected sex (don’t recommend), denied and ruined orgasm (f), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f), overstim, an ungodly amount of cum, cumflation, lil breeding kink at the very end

playlist — me and the devil by soap&skin, unholy by sam smith, going to hell by the pretty reckless, smells blood by kensuke ushio, american horror show by snow wife, toc toc toc by zazie

ateez masterlist | navigation

a/n: i had an absolute blast working over my fave fic ever posted. i love it even more now <3

also wanted to say a special thank you to @hwaightme who really helped me pulled through with one <3 ily bai <3333

Seonghwa was bored out of his mind. Like he had been for decades now, even centuries. He couldn’t remember what it was like to feel… well… anything at all really. And after years upon years of vegetating he didn’t care enough to even try anymore. He just laid there, endlessly staring blankly at the emptiness. He tapped his slender finger on his thigh, comfortably set on the bed of dark purple smoke he had materialized out of thin air.

He let out an audible annoyed groan as he was nonchalantly stretching out his long limbs which didn’t fail to catch the attention of the others.

“What’s wrong?” Yeosang asked as he was feasting on some delicious meal he poofed out magically. He didn’t even take a second to look up the bucket full of chicken drumsticks, wrapping his greasy fingers around the bone and eyeing the meat like one would their life long partner. But then again, that wasn’t too far from the truth for Yeosang.

“I’m bored” Seonghwa complained, pushing his long silky black hair back on his forehead and choosing to ignore Yeosang’s lack of interest, dragging out the word on his tongue, transmitting his state of utter apathy to the others.

“Why don’t you go up and play with the Humans?” Mingi suggested while checking himself out in the mirror, readjusting his bangs and sliding his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose before striking a pose to himself, remaining completely self absorbed.

Once again, Seonghwa wasn’t getting much attention from his counterparts but he was somewhat used to it when it came to Mingi.

“What’s the point? They are no fun anyways!” Seonghwa sat up straight and crossed his long elegant legs on the cloud of cotton like smoke.

“Why?” Jongho asked, unlike the others he deigned looking in Seonghwa’s direction with somewhat surprised eyes. “You used to love going around and breaking up happy marriages, luring men and women in with your charms… That was always fun!” He said a little sluggishly, but still with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

“Yeah… Maybe it was…” Seonghwa replied. “Two millenniums ago…” Another prolonged sigh. “When everything still felt fresh.” He got up from the comfortable cloud of smoke, pacing the endless void as his heels clacked and echoed with each step. “Now I know that Humans are only self centered vile creatures who only claim to have better morals than us because they are scared of the consequences that inevitably ensue from succumbing to their primal desires. When in fact, all they want is to eat, kill, have sex or not do anything at all. They are nothing short of underdeveloped, unevolved, spineless piles of meat”

“Meat? Where?” Yeosang said, finally lifting his head from the bucket of fried chicken to look around, eyes rounded in panic.

Not a single one of them reacted except Mingi who side eyed him with disdain before returning to more important matters at hand such as swapping the aviator sunglasses for narrower, more rectangular ones.

“That’s not entirely false” Jongho concluded, shrugging, easily giving up on the idea of comforting Seonghwa.

“I mean where’s the fun if you can’t break their minds to give in?” Seonghwa placed both hands on Jongho's shoulders, slightly shaking him while the latter lifelessly swayed back and forth. “What is the point if they don’t resist the call of evil? If you can’t erode their will like a rock made smooth by the incessant beating of the waves of the cruel sea.” Seonghwa huffed in a quiet, defeated voice, letting go of Jongho's shoulders to let his arms hang at his side while the other one stared at him blankly.

“Hm… okay” Jongho said before slipping off Seonghwa's reach to take his place on the fluffy bed of purple smoke, crashing head first onto the soft cloud.

A silence settled for what seemed like a long moment, even for them, immutable creatures to whom the very concept of time couldn't grasp at their permanence.

“Well you never tried with that girl…” Wooyoung said, slithering his way to Seonghwa without a sound. He had been watching the scene unfold from afar up until then. “What was her name already?” He snapped his fingers and looked to the side trying to access his memory. He turned to Mingi for help but he was too busy looking through the mirror, slipping on yet another dangling necklace and smirking, satisfied at the results. Wooyoung then tried his luck with Yeosang but he now had his face buried in a huge bowl of chicken broth, the empty bucket of fried chicken abandoned and slurping up a big mouthful of noodles in a rather unpleasant way. “Jongho?” he called, finally settling for the one that looked almost passed out on the bed of smoke, but still this one wielded the most positive result.

“Y/n” Jongho responded without conviction, still laying flat on the cloud of smoke, eyes growing heavier by the second.

“Yeah! That’s right!” Wooyoung exclaimed. “That girl is unbreakable,” he affirmed. Seonghwa scoffed and threw an unconvinced look to his peer.

“No really! I’ve tried to corrupt her but I really couldn’t”. Wooyoung said, raising his brows and talking loudly to support his point. But that did little to persuade Seonghwa, he was convinced that Wooyoung was just not as good as him at breaking the mortals’ souls. So yes, it was possible that Wooyoung had struggled with that girl. But not him, surely not him.

When Wooyoung saw Seonghwa was not budging his face dropped, and he turned to the others. “Please someone back me up on this one”

“Oh yeaaah… I remember her” Yeosang said, voice cut by various sounds of loud lips smacking and open mouth chewing. “Even I tried!”

Now, that was different. Seonghwa was interested. Most people are quick to indulge themselves when it comes to food. It was, so to speak, the easiest sin of the seven to succumb to. The Humans often say “there’s always room for dessert” and innocently eat a generous slice of cake after devouring a full meal. They don’t even notice Yeosang forcing the big spoon full of buttery sugary goodness into their mouths. They don’t even know Yeosang, himself, made this saying.

“She refused to even do as much as taste the delicious meal I made her sister cook for her even though she was starving… instead she gave it to the homeless man living not far from her apartment.” Yeosang stated with aberration shaking his head in disappointment before plunging right back in the ramyeon bowl.

“Hmmm” Seonghwa scratched his chin, his curiosity for the mysterious righteous girl was piqued.

“One day I tried to make her give in” Jongho chipped in from the dark purple smoke bed, even pushing himself on his elbows to look at the others, to Seonghwa’s surprise. “Made her miss the train and the bus she needed to take to get home after work and conveniently laid a juicy wallet stuffed full of even juicier bills in the gutter. All she had to do was to bend down and get the money to take a taxi to her apartment. But instead she took the money and walked to the police station to report the lost wallet, which was in the opposite direction by the way and then walked back home only to take a shower and leave right after to attend the charity soup kitchen. Anddd… Explaining this made me tired. Please don't talk to me for the next two hundred years, thank you.” Jongho concluded in one single breath before laying back down and turning on his side to nap comfortably.

“Maybe that one can be interesting after all” Seonghwa thought aloud, his pretty face taking on a pensive frown, his sharp brows joining on his forehead.

“Yeah no kidding” Wooyoung added. “And you don’t know the best part yet…” A perfidious and sly smile pulled on his handsome features. “She was just ordained nun.”

Seonghwa’s face turned serious as his eyes snapped back to Wooyoung. All of a sudden the girl went from distraction of the day to possibly the ultimate challenge of corruption Seonghwa has been waiting for god knows how long (and he surely did not use the expression lightly).

“Don’t mess with me, Envy!” Seonghwa spat, suddenly calling Wooyoung by his biblical name, testifying the gravity of his statement.

“I’m not kidding, Lust” Wooyoung mocked Seonghwa’s serious tone by also using his sin name. “She decided the life of material things wasn’t the way to happiness so she devoted herself to a humbler one, gifting her time and belongings to the poor and destitutes while she devoted her body to God. God only…” Wooyoung said, feigning nonchalance while he snaked an arm around Seonghwa’s shoulders. “Look… Here she is” he purred in his neck.

With a flick of his wrist, green smoke emanated from thin air and formed a pierced circle where in the middle the reflection of a girl could be seen. She was quiet, in the very humble room, a single window shone down onto the bed as she knelt at its side, palms joined, retreated into silent prayers.

She’s perfect.

That was Seonghwa’s first thought as an obscene smirk tugged at his mouth, his tongue swiping across his lips making them shiny and wet. He eyed the girl kneeling by the bed as he lowered his chin, one strand of hair falling over the piercing siren eyes. The black and white uniform she was wearing, the habit, couldn’t fool the seasoned eyes of Seonghwa. All the fabric in the world couldn’t hide away the glorious curves of her body, the beautiful arch of her back leading to the roundness of her bottom gently resting on her heels. The holy swells of her chest softly lifting the thick black material of the habit and the simple wooden cross held by humble twine she was wearing around her neck.

Divine.

Was what described her best.

“She’s stunning,” Seonghwa huffed in a soft murmur, mesmerized and captivated by the image Wooyoung was showing him. And he smirked in victory, relishing on the way he had convinced his peer, once again living up to his name and very nature.

“Yeah I know.” Mingi said, finally turning his face away from his reflection to address Seonghwa. “I thought with such a pretty face she’d be easy to convince that she’s above everyone else and just make her a pretentious too-far-up-her-own-ass bitch. But I quickly realized she was a lost cause” he concluded, shrugging and stepping away from the mirror, sitting down next to Jongho, already fast asleep only to materialize another handheld mirror. seconds later.

“Yes…” Seonghwa spoke softly as he stared intensely at the girl. “She just might do.”

***

You were on cleaning duty at the church today after the mass. Even if the church was quite big it didn’t intimidate you. You settled the two buckets of warm soapy water and your floor cloth before tying your hair up in a rather unaesthetic but very practical hairdo and stretched your shoulders before giving yourself a determined little nod.

You started with scrubbing the ancient cobblestone of the old church with soap and a lot of elbow grease. Then you immediately followed up with dusting the chairs, the altar and the numerous effigies.

You diligently washed, dusted, scrubbed, cleaned, polished, until everything was neat and right. Simply happy and content with the idea of being useful to the community. The rhythmic sounds of your hard bristle brush against the pavements were setting the pace of the silence which helped you connect to the spiritual nature of the ancient place of worship.

But as you were tidying the confessional booth you noticed a small piece of colorful paper peeking from underneath the bench lined with worn burgundy red velvet. When your hands reached under the seat and hazardly caught the object you knew it was a magazine from the glossy feeling of the paper underneath your fingertips and when you finally let your eyes fall on it you realized the nature of the magazine.

Porn. A pornographic magazine.

The cover displayed several nude women adopting very suggestive poses, one of them even dangerously leaning her face towards the intimate parts of another one.

The obscene imagery made your heart race and you started to feel dizzy. You sat yourself on the bench and rested the lewd magazine in your lap. You took a deep breath and, very slowly, parted the red curtains to make sure you were alone in the church. Then you opened the magazine and flipped the cover page.

“Oh my… Look at that! She is flipping the pages!” Yeosang exclaimed.

“Oh she’s definitely curious about it,” Mingi laughed, his lips stretching into a satisfied half smile. But Seonghwa was more cautious, he refused to believe it just yet. Something about your body language was not right.

“Shhh” he shushed the others and motioned for them to keep looking through the green smoke.

As your fingers glided across each page. You felt hot in the face with each scene more obscene than the last one, tension building in your neck.

Seonghwa didn’t lose sight of you for a second, his lips curling on his teeth in a vicious smile as your trembling fingers went over every single page, your wide open eyes darting to every corner of each page. He could almost hear your heart thumping in your chest he could almost taste the adrenaline in your blood.

When you came to the end of it and closed out the magazine you sighed, letting your shoulders drop, closing your eyes in relief.

“Well…” you started “nobody left their name in it” you said to yourself, completely unaware the demons were spying on your every move. Not that you expected that anybody would leave their signature in such a piece of literature but still you had to at least try to find the rightful owner before taking actions.

A loud complaint erupted from the demons. All in disbelief. You looked at the magazine, true. But it was not for an impure purpose. It was only in the hopes of finding the name of the true owner and hopefully, returning it back to them. You had no interest in the salacious scenes presented in the glossy pages. The rushing blood to your cheeks wasn’t due to any feeling of arousal or libidinousness. It was only the shame of invading someone’s privacy.

Once again your intentions were completely commendable. Immaculate.

As the demons protested and complained, Seonghwa, on the other hand, stayed completely silent as he watched you bring the magazine to a trash bin without an ounce of regret. He wasn’t disappointed, he was excited. He felt excitement. A feeling so distant and faded that it felt foreign. Seonghwa had forgotten all about this thrill. He didn’t remember how tingles tickled the tip of his cold fingers or how his guts swirled around in frenzy. This feeling was joy. Pure joy. Sweet intoxicating euphoria. And it was all thanks to you.

“I’m gonna have so much fun with you” he whispered to you, as if you could hear him, his eyes glued to the reflection in the pierced circle of deep green smoke, he whispered to the image of the unsuspecting girl discarding the impure magazine. A paltry, too poor of a stratagem to have you yield to the darkness. You, the pious and saintly nun.

***

You never really liked cooking, before you joined the covenant your sister was always the one in the kitchen preparing delicious home cooked meals for the family. But what you did like on the other hand was helping. Usually you cleaned up the kitchen but when your sister was running out of time she would ask you to peel the vegetables or cut them. So naturally cutting the vegetables was not your favorite task around the convent. You liked cleaning and tidying up better. Only because you were more on the active side and you liked how cleaning would make you break up a sweat when the whole monastery needed a dust off but nonetheless what you liked most was to help the community. And knowing the soup you were cooking up with the help of two of your sisters was going to feed everyone was a fulfilling feeling. Well enough to make you happy.

So you were contemplating life cutting off the homegrown zucchinis when Sister Chaeyoung started to giggle. You didn’t pay much attention until Sister Nayeon started to snicker along with her.

You lift your eyes up and the both of them instantly stiffened up and started to act suspicious.

“What are you laughing about you two?” you asked, an amused smile playing on your lips.

“Oh nothing” Nayeon said, hiding something behind her back.

“Come on, I want to laugh too” you said, the smile spreading further on your face, lifting up your cheeks adorably.

You three were the youngest in the convent so you did many duties together, you grew quite close with the girls.

Chaeyoung ripped something from Nayeon’s hand and proudly showed it to you.

“Look at this carrot” she said, puffing an adorable laugh.

It was true the carrot had quite the… interesting shape. First of all it was quite large, abnormally thick for a simple carrot. Homegrown vegetables were never like the perfectly shaped ones you could find at the store and it was definitely the case for this one. It had a slight upward curve and the extremity had a very distinctive shape. It was phallic.

You delicately took the vegetable from the hands of Chaeyoung to examine the orange root closely.

It was almost unnatural how close the resemblance was, like it couldn’t be due to fortuity… The thick tip, the robust and curved upright shaft, the asperities reminiscent of the blood engorged veins, even the small slit at the top… The details were impressive.

“Look look” Mingi exclaimed, nudging Seonghwa in the ribs as he observed you through the green fog. “She looks interested. I think she’s done this time”. He declared self-assured, cocking a single eyebrow. But Seonghwa remained completely silent but a smirk pulled on his lips when he noticed how you were eyeing the forbidden vegetable (no pun intended), how your throat seemed to thickly swallow and how your lip slightly trembled.

It felt so empowering, finally getting to chip away at your strong willed spirit, finally getting lust to creep under your skin. For these long seconds of contemplation, Seonghwa could only imagine the wicked places your mind raced to. But right when he was about to open his mouth and declare victory. You laughed.

Seonghwa’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as this laugh ripped through him, like a dagger through the skin.

You laughed so openly, your head hung back, eyes creased. The laugh was like the rest of you, joyful, clear and pure.

You are only amused by such a coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course it was funny and you were never the stuck up kind and it felt right to have a bit of lighthearted fun with your younger sisters.

“I guess she’s only laughing at your stupid tricks,” Wooyoung said, his sly smirk mocking Seonghwa’s failure.

“Fuck off Wooyoung” Seonghwa spat as he watched the scene unfold.

The three of you just laughed, enjoying this bonding moment together while the stricter, older sisters and the Mother Superior weren’t there to dim down your childish and silly amusement. It was just some playful, innocent humor to you.

Nothing to shake your faith or virtue.

“Now let’s finish up the soup, girls” you said, setting the amusing carrot on the cutting board. Before chopping it up and tossing the pieces in the big pot.

“Maybe we should have kept it” Chaeyoung whispered with pouty lips. “It could have been useful.”

“Don’t be silly,” you replied with a smile.

Seonghwa felt anger bubbling up in his stomach and rushing through his veins to burn down his chest and neck. As much as he hated to admit it… Wooyoung was right, these stupid tricks were no match for the unwavering righteousness of your mind. These would certainly suffice if it was any other soul but not yours. Not you.

So Seonghwa resolved to resort to drastic measures. Something he hasn’t done for centuries. But something necessary. This anger he felt, the deception upon failing once again. He hadn’t felt that in so long, he felt alive finally. It was ironic how an immortal soul would forget how to feel alive for the simple reason that nothing is a threat to their existence. Their presence is immutable, infinite, certain. Therefore unexciting, monotonous and lifeless.

The negative feelings reminded Seonghwa of a purpose he once had, they reminded him of the stakes that used to be. In a way you reminded Seonghwa what it felt like to feel. You reminded him what it meant to be alive. Him, the unholy and vile Sin of Lust.

***

“You cannot be serious,” Hongjoong exclaimed, rubbing the deep crease between his eyebrows, this conversation was starting to give the Guardian of the Gate a headache.

“I am most certainly serious,” Seonghwa assured. “Now is the best time.”

“Why?” Hongjoong asked. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you through unless you give me a solid explanation.”

“Come on Joongie~” Seonghwa said innocently smiling at him leaning on the smaller man in front of him, wrapping his arms around his waist and tilting his head adorably. “You and I go way back, right?”

“Your ways have no power against me, Lust. You know that.” Hongjoong just looked at him scornfully. “Now if you don’t tell me your plan I’ll shut the gates for the next century.”

“What has this place come to? We used to be able to go and play with humans all day and not get questioned,'' Seonghwa complained, throwing his hands in the air and slipping away from Hongjoong. But the latter didn’t budge. “Fine” Seonghwa spat.

“You see my dear friend, today she’s ovulating. Her body is most likely to respond to the primitive instinct of the survival of the species. Meaning that her spirit is most likely to be weaker.” Seonghwa explained his reasoning.

“But how do you plan on actually interacting with her? You know you won’t be able to have physical contact, you'll go through her like a ghost. Unless she summons you. And I don’t see how or even why she would call your name three times” Wooyoung pointed out, as he was watching the feud from afar.

“I know that I’m not stupid” Seonghwa said with an eyeroll and a sigh. “I won’t need to touch her to break her” he assured.

“But how if she can’t even see you?” Hongjoong yelled, ready to pluck the hair out of his head. Seonghwa was about to become the Guardian's breaking point.

“Hey relax, okay” Seonghwa said, slipping behind the man and gently pinching the muscles of his shoulders. “You are starting to look like San.”

“What did you say about me? “ San yelled from across the empty space, interrupting his card game with Yunho.

“Just play” Yunho instructed with a monotonous fed up tone, pointing his chin towards the deck of cards.

“This game is stupid anyways!!” San screamed before flipping the table over in a loud grunt as the cards flew everywhere, floating gracefully to the ground. Yunho sighed deeply.

“He always does this…” he whispered to himself, getting off the chair and walking to Hongjoong and Seonghwa as Jongho was peacefully snoring close by.

“How can he sleep through this?” Yeosang looked at Jongho in disbelief, as he was stuffing more cheesecake into his mouth. Yunho scoffed.

“How can you eat through this?” Yunho underlined and Yeosang just shrugged before smiling with his mouth still full, earning disgusted grunts and complaints from the others.

“Can we focus for one minute here?” Hongjoong interrupted, desperately trying to get back on track. “How are you going to corrupt her if she can’t see you?”

“Oh but she will see me” Seonghwa smirked.

“Not in the monastery she won’t, not on sacred ground” Wooyoung mocked his overly confident tone.

“It’s true, you know” Yunho chipped in, putting his large palm on Seonghwa’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m about to say that but… I think you’re being greedy” Yunho concluded, as Seonghwa whipped his head to him.

“Wow… That’s so out of character for you.”

“Well that should speak volumes about the foolishness of your plan” Yunho shrugged, taking his hand back.

“It’s not foolish because she will see me. For the simple reason that she will invite me in” Seonghwa’s smirk grew wider as silence settled in the unholy space between hell and earth. Wooyoung laughed hysterically, holding his ribs as he wiped off a tear in the corner of his eyes.

“And how will you manage that?” Hongjoong asked with a raised, unimpressed eyebrow.

Just then a chiming sound could be heard in the emptiness. Seonghwa fished out of his pocket a small human device. All in the room looked incredulous As Seonghwa smirked at the small screen illuminating his pretty face.

“Since when did you-” Hongjoong started but Seonghwa simply brought his long pointer finger to his lips and shushed him.

“She’s waiting for me”

***

“A disaster” Mother superior exclaimed as she threw her arms at her side, looking at the flooded basement. “We cannot go to the retreat and leave until the problem is fixed. The humidity can damage the foundations of the monastery. “I’ll stay and sort it out.”

The sisters all let out frustrated sighs.

“You should go Mother” you stepped in. “The sisters need you at the retreat as well as the faithful… I’ll stay and get things in order. You can count on me” you said with a determined nod and a smile, tightly holding the wooden cross on your chest.

As much as you wanted to go. Someone needed to stay, that much was undeniable and the wisdom of the Mother Superior was needed at Lourdes. So it wasn’t without a little sting at the heart that you waved goodbye to a bus full of your friends, your sisters.

You went back in and sighed at the mess. The ancient timber beams were slowly soaking up the stagnant water, the old stones of the walls were being eroded and the humidity was not good news for the cheeses you were maturing, not even mentioning the ruined mushrooms you were about to harvest before the disaster. Of course the boiler was old and rustic but Mother Superior always made sure it was checked annually and repaired when it was needed before any damage could be done. But even the most diligent measures sometimes can’t prevent the unforeseeable hazards of life.

You went back up and searched for a plumber in the local newspaper. Luckily there was an ad for one that was living in town.

Park, plumbing/heating engineering at your service, the flashy ad read.

You looked at the time, it was late afternoon, probably a little too late to take up a new job, but you figured there was still hope he could at least pick up the phone and maybe appoint a day to come have a look at the leakage. You didn’t waste anymore time and dialed the phone number in the ancient and only phone located in the Mother Superior’s office.

As the tone rang you suddenly got nervous. Ever since you joined the convent you didn’t interact much with the outside world except the followers coming to church or the people you were helping. So this upcoming conversation was making you agitated.

“Hello, Park, plumbing and heating engineer, how can I help you?” You are surprised by the voice at the end of the line. You never expected such a smooth, melodic voice to pick up the phone.

“H-Hi! I’m Sister y/n from the Monastery of the Sacred Mission, our basement flooded, we think the boiler possibly needs to be replaced. Is it possible for you to come take a look?”

“Oh! Sorry to hear that. I’m guessing much damage has been done…” his concerned tone somewhat eased your nerves.

“Unfortunately yes”

“I see… I can come right now”

“Really?” you blinked your eyes twice in surprise. “Well that would be marvelous” you said cheerfully “but wouldn’t you be working past hours? I fear there’s quite a lot of work” you ask concerned.

“It’s okay. You help others so much. Now it’s my time to help you” his tone changed, a subtle switch you can’t put into words but the difference sent a shiver down your spine.

“Thank you”

***

“Thank you so much for coming this quickly” you thanked the man as he stood in the impressive frame of the heavy convent door.

You took a step aside to let him in but he just stood before the front steps not moving an inch. You threw him a puzzled look but he just stared back blankly at you. There was a moment of hesitation on his behalf that left you quite perplexed.

“Please come in” you hesitantly said while amicably smiling at the man.

“Thank you” he simply responded, almost sounding relieved.

As soon as he stepped foot in the door frame you felt a cold breeze run on your neck under the habit and shivers run down your spine. Autumn was indeed well advanced now but such cold winds were usually never felt before winter. Of course, you made little of a simple gust of wind.

“Hi. I’m Sister y/n. Nice to meet you” you stuck your hand out to him. He looked down at it and fumbled with the tool boxes but opted for a polite nod instead of a handshake.

“Sorry, I’ve been working all day and my hands are dirty” he laughed nervously “and the name is Seonghwa” he flashed the brightest smile you have ever seen. For a second your heart skipped a beat and a foreign feeling blossomed in your chest. You never expected this unknown plumber to be this handsome.

He had long and shiny raven black hair perfectly framing his face and just as healthy thick eyebrows complimenting the dark, round and benevolent eyes, reminiscent of boba pearls. A long elegant neck, a defined jawline, high cheekbones and tanned olive glossy skin.

His body was cladded in an unbuttoned navy blue overall that let peek out a simple white t-shirt underneath. You could tell the outfit had undergone various difficult jobs as the fabric was thinned out at his knees and had various stains of paints and plaster.

He looked like a kind man. Like the kind of person you would give communion to without confession. The kind of person that just has a good heart. It was that kind of reassuring and warm aura that you felt from him, something that put you at ease right away.

You led him to the faulty boiler.

Right away he got on one knee and started to inspect the recalcitrant piece of machinery.

“Well I’ll leave you to work on your own” you said as you retreated to take your leave. Seonghwa only politely nodded and smiled in your direction before turning his attention back to the problem.

While the plumber was working you put your time to good use and organized the paperwork of the Mother superior. Doing such work was always tedious for her because she wasn’t exactly the organized kind of woman but you were. You knew doing that you would be of great help. Since the task was quite large, it took quite a long time and it’s only when your stomach emitted a loud grumble that you realized the evening was well advanced.

You figured Mr. Park was hungry or at the very least thirsty after working for so long. So you grabbed a metal tray and brought him a set of the specialty sugar cookies the convent was selling along with a generous serving of cold water embellished with a dash of freshly squeezed lemon juice to make sure Mr. Park’s thirst would be thoroughly quenched.

When you passed the archway that was leading to the boiler room your heart nearly stopped beating when your eyes met the working man.

Swiftly you spinned on your feet and hid behind the wall, only peeking an eye out the corner to still be able to witness the novel scene taking place in front of you.

Seonghwa had tightened the sleeves of his blue overalls around his waist and was wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, clearly the labor was not restful. You couldn’t tell if it was from sweat or from the leaking water but his white t-shirt was wet and sticking to his skin, making the fabric lightly translucid. You could guess the dark pinkish color of his nipples and the outline of his well built body underneath. The short sleeves of his t-shirt were rolled up and were tightly hugging his arms while his long fingers were wrapped around a wrench as each twist of his wrist was making the veins of his forearm bulge out.

You loudly gulped down a lump in your throat. Your hands tightly held onto the tray in fear of letting it fall to your feet.

But your misery was far from over because before you could realize it Seonghwa was pulling on his shirt and passing it over his head. Every muscle of his back moving around, contracting and relaxing in a beautiful dance, shining under the golden hour sun seeping through the small single window of the basement. Water and sweat was running down his back and at his flanks, when he turned around, your eyes dashed around his naked upper body. You couldn’t decide where to settle them. His collarbones, his pecs, his abs, the dent at the sides of his abdomen, his (very) low resting overalls…

Your heart was about to give out. You had seen male bodies before, never in real life that was true but you did once or twice on TV or on billboard ads of men’s underwear.

But, never, you felt something like that. That feeling. This tingly feeling budding in the low pit of your stomach, making your guts stir around, making your palms sweaty, making your heart helplessly hammer against your ribs, making your eyes widen as you couldn’t peel them off the naked wet skin of the handsome stranger. This feeling of immoral interest for another person’s body, this longing for somebody else’s touch.

This feeling of Lust.

It was completely foreign to you.

If it wasn’t for Seonghwa you would have chugged the whole carafe of lemony water by yourself because you never felt your throat as dry as it felt right now.

“Look! Look!” San shouted, wrapping a strong hand around Wooyoung’s forearm and making him wince in pain as they both stared at you through the green smoke. “Y/n is giving in!”

“Look at the way she’s staring at him!” Yeosang said, briefly reaching for a napkin to wipe his mouth.

“Wow” Yunho added “She definitely isn’t thinking about church-appropriate things”. Yunho laughed but Mingi scoffed.

“If she likes him, wait till I show my human form. I’m infinitely more good looking than him”

“Not everything’s about you, Mingi” Yunho scolded him.

With trembling hands you settled the metal tray onto the window sill. You poured a glass of water and presented it to Seonghwa.

“Here” you unexpectedly manage to keep your voice calm and steady. “I figured you might be thirsty or hungry.”

“Oh thanks” he said, wrapping his hand around the glass, carefully avoiding touching your hand in the process, probably trying not to get sweat and dirt smeared on you. “I just got done actually”

“Oh wonderful” you exclaimed, maybe a little louder than expected. Maybe eager to get rid of that immoral feeling that was awakened by his presence. Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow and gave you a puzzled look at the unexpected outburst of joy.

“Why? Are you impatient to throw me out?” he smirked, pushing his long and soaked hair back as he took a step closer, doe eyes narrowing, becoming sharp. You did your best to lock your eyes with his, not to let them wander down his still half naked body. Seonghwa didn’t make any effort to cover himself. Your heart seemed to be trying to break through your rib cage to get a chance to beat closer to Seonghwa’s chest.

“No, it’s just that…” you took a step back “you have been working for so long you must be wanting to go back to the comfort of your home” you quickly get back on your feet before smiling politely at him, trying to conceal your uneasiness.

“Why?” he asked tit for tat, taking a step closer again, siren eyes bored deep into yours, trying to lull you in. “No one is waiting for me at home.”

Seonghwa heard the faintest little gasp escape your lips and he knew you were shaken. You, the unwavering nun, the faithful saint. You were at last considering him. Contemplating giving in to the primal and lowly instinct of desire.

Seonghwa sensed it. He saw it in the way you hurriedly licked your dry bottom lip, he saw it in the way your eyes darted between his lips and his eyes, he saw it in the way you stopped backing away from him.

You, y/n, you were giving in to pure sensual need. No love, no sentiment involved. Only desire to feel a complete stranger’s body against yours, only pure, untainted lust.

If only he could touch you. If only he could, it would be so much easier to help you gently fall into the welcoming and serene arms of corruption. But he couldn’t and that was making the whole experiment that much more exciting. He had to use deceit and trickery. Like a siren numbing your mind with a beautiful song.

But if you gave the slightest hint of submitting, if you let your guard down and let him into your heart then he would have won and that was all that mattered. If you tilted your head and you puckered up your lips to kiss him, if you took a step towards him to press your body against his, if your lifted your hand to feel his wet, glistening skin under your fingers, if you did anything to welcome the unholy desire, if you opened yourself to lust, then touching you would have been unnecessary because Seonghwa would have won and you and God would have lost.

And victory was oh so close. So close when he was as near to you as he could. So close when he slowly approached his face to yours. So close when your heart was pumping scorching hot blood through your veins, so close when your mouth started to water, so close when your lips started to quiver, so close when your eyelid started to flutter but…

Again, you stepped back.

“WHAT?!” San shouted.

“No way!!” Yeosang added, staring at your unsuspecting reflection in the green smoke.

Seonghwa’s shoulder dropped along with the satisfied little smirk.

“Thank you for fixing the boiler this quickly, Mr Park” you said, averting your eyes, finally breaking the spell he had casted on you and peeling your eyes off him.

Seonghwa had cried victory too soon. He had counted the chicken eggs before they hatched, he had put the cart before the horse. In other words… he had underestimated you.

He underestimated your will, your faith and your unwavering sense of righteousness. The other Sins had warned him though but he didn’t listen. They told him it was impossible to bend you. All of them had tried before and none succeeded so it was undeniable now that Seonghwa was just going to join them in failure.

“Don’t worry about it” he smiled at you, disappointment peeking behind his shiny brown orbs.

Seonghwa had accepted defeat when you led him back to the door of the convent. He walked away but turned around half way only to see your still body standing straight in the doorframe, perfectly incarnating your strong, unbending mind.

You only politely smiled when you pushed the big heavy door with difficulty, finally closing it in with a loud thud.

“Fuck… I guess Seonghwa failed too…” Yunho stated as he watched you close the door. But Wooyoung looked at you with a knowing grin.

“I’m not so sure…” he said as the smirk tugged further at his lips.

***

When you finally escaped Seonghwa’s taunting eyes, you leaned your back on the sturdy door, your spirit drained, your mind exhausted. You closed your eyes to catch a breath but the only thing you could see was the working man’s godlike figure carved onto your retinas, the translucent white t-shirt clinging to his golden skin, the sweat dripping down his temples and wetting the beautiful long strands of black hair, the bulging veins of his forearms and the dents engraved at both side of his lower stomach. And the more you thought about it, the quicker your breathing got.

You were all alone here… Your sisters and Mother superior were all gone. What wrong could it cause if you gave in just this once? Not that much, right?…. Just this once.

With big strides you walked to the kitchen and handpicked a nicely shaped carrot, almost regretting not listening to Chaeyoung and keeping that other one.

But this one was going to do the trick. It was not too thick and just long enough to help you carry out your shameful business but not too big to actually taint you and strip you of the precious veil of chastity that you managed to keep intact all of these years.

You climbed up the stairs with haste, avoiding the marble eyes of the holy figures represented in the halls only to take refuge in your bedroom.

You slipped out of your shoes and laid on your bed. You didn’t even bother taking the habit off, it wasn’t going to take long anyway, you simply pulled it up.

When you slid off the white panties you realized how soaked you were. You couldn’t believe it. Your whole life you’ve never felt this way, the feeling was overwhelming and needed to be dealt with immediately. Yes, that was what you were doing simply ridding yourself of an impure feeling!

You whipped out the orange root and clumsily rubbed the thinner tip on yourself. The cold sensation took you aback and pulled a small gasp from your lips.

You coated the root with your juices and then you aimed it at your entrance. You slid the carrot inside, it was too thin to hurt in any way but it was well long enough. When you reached the bottom of yourself you couldn’t help but to let out a satisfied grunt at the sensation of the vegetable rubbing against your sensitive spot.

You pulled it back out and slid it back in, this time a little faster. Heat gained over your body as your eyes fluttered close and you recalled the unfairly handsome and devilishly sexy working man.

The muscles of his back, his long slender neck, his collarbones, his beautiful sun kissed skin.

“Aaah” you sigh. “Seonghwa” his name rolled off your tongue so naturally, almost like it was meant to be said like this.

His long and dark wet hair, his plush lips getting close to yours, his warm breath fanning your face.

“Seonghwa” you moaned again, more high pitched this time as your wrist was getting more and more reckless, each time deliciously scrubbing your walls in divine and forbidden pleasure.

The way he looked at you, the way his dark eyes were filled with the same desire you had for him. The way they spoke volumes about the sinful things he wanted to do to you. And God… did you almost let him have his way with you.

You started to clench around the root, each time you pulled it out your walls were eagerly gripping on it, refusing to let it go, so you smashed it back in with force to grant their wish. Your walls quivered around the vegetable, a foreign and unknown euphoria was taking over you and you knew you were done for.

“I’m… ngh… c-cumming” you whispered to yourself as you felt the tightness in your core reach a brand new level. “Seonghwa” you cried out one more time, being only a few back-and-forths away from your sweet release but alas you couldn’t pull it through.

Because without knowing, without realizing, completely unsuspecting, you called his name. You called his name three times. You summoned him.

Purple smoke started to erupt from the corner of the small dimly lit room by the late evening sun. With terror you ripped the vegetable out before you could finish and covered your modesty with the habit you were still wearing.

From the smoke appeared slick black leather chelsea boots resting under a pair of anthracite gray dress pants coated with a shiny silverish finish. As the smoke got thinner you could distinguish a matching cropped blazer with an asymmetrical and deconstructed silver vest underneath that was held together by one single button right under his neck, you could see the soft and glistening golden skin underneath. And finally when the smoke was completely gone you saw his face. The sharp features and the slender slithering body reminiscent of the one of a serpent, eyes just as sharp and presence just as menacing. A face you hadn't known for long but couldn't forget. Seonghwa’s face.

But he looked different. His long bangs weren’t framing his face anymore, instead he had tied the long wavy strands in a high half bun. His aura was also different from when he was wearing the blue and spotted overalls. Now cladded in the revealing ensemble he looked expensive, confident and sensual.

Your jaw practically dropped to the floor when your mind finally wrapped around the information your eyes were transmitting.

“Well well…” Seonghwa stepped closer while you jolted yourself up the bed, your body cornered between the headboard and the wall.

“What are you?” you whispered with trembling lips, heart pounding, adrenaline rushing through your veins, ready to flee if need be.

Seonghwa looked at you, puzzled for a second. Then he laughed, head tilting back. The laugh made the hair in your nape stand. It was unnatural, cold and fundamentally evil.

“Me?” he asked. Right then you felt your body being magically lifted from the soft mattress. You shrieked again, utterly confused while Seonghwa’s magic slammed you against the bare walls of the humble bedroom, the tip of your toes barely scraping the worn out wooden floor.

“Oh my, please pardon my awful manners,” he said in an overly polite tone. “I’m Seonghwa, Cardinal Sin of Lust” he said, bowing respectfully, elegantly bringing his right hand on his chest in a princely manner. “But for you, love…” Seonghwa stepped towards you, taking his time to look at you. He leaned on your ear to whisper.

“I’m a dream come true” his voice was deep, sultry, self-assured. Everything you’d imagine it to be.

A faint gasp escaped your lips as you felt his warm breath on your neck.

You wanted to scream to all heavens, you had brought a demon into the convent. You had desecrated the sacred ground of this place of worship, your home. You led the wolf to the sheeps. But you couldn’t scream, you couldn’t even if your life depended on it.

“W-what do you want?” you managed to push the few words past your teeth. Your voice, perfect opposite of the one of the demon: muted and trembling.

“Just want to finish my business with you” his face stayed right where it was, nestled in the crook of your neck. Lips so close you could feel the heat radiating from them but somehow they were still too far, unable to touch you.

“What business?” you whimpered.

“Darling.” Seonghwa clicked his tongue and shook his head in disapproval. “There’s no point in fighting anymore. Stop playing dumb with me. I know you’re a smart girl.” He took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo. “I already won, darling… that very second you decided to give in to the thought of me. That second you closed the big heavy door and thought you escaped my eyes. That very second I had won.” A wicked smirk pulled on his lips. But his words didn’t make any sense to you.

This languish was torture, this state of expectation, of suspense. This proximity. You wished it would just stop. Be it touching you for good or get away finally. Just as if he read your mind he got even closer. Now it wasn’t only his lips taunting the thin skin of your neck, it was his whole body, hovering over yours; but still… Not touching you.

“Sure winning felt good. But you know what feels even better, darling?” You couldn’t bring yourself to formulate words and only whimpered in response.

“I asked you a question, sweetheart” he grinned, relishing on your anguish, placing both of his palms at both sides of your face, trapping your frail figure between his arms and the wall.

“It’s to finally touch you.”

So he finally let himself take a deep dive into you. The plush warm lips crash onto your neck, giving wet sloppy open mouth kisses while you couldn’t help but to tilt your head back giving him more access.

“What a good girl you are” he purred, not taking the time to part his lips from you.

His left hand went to your chin and turned it to make you face him, without much hesitation he planted a wet kiss on your lips, your cute whimpers and gasps were the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss.

The kiss got heated as Seonghwa pried your hesitant mouth open with his long thumb and pushed his tongue inside to breach your lips. His delicious taste spread through your mouth, making your head dizzy. He tasted like candy, like you just took a bite of the juiciest strawberry. Ripe, just in season, absolutely delicious.

You moaned into his mouth and he smirked as his grip around your chin got tighter, he lifted his knee to part your legs and his thigh rubbed against your center through the habit. You couldn’t help but to moan louder, the unsolicited pleasurable friction made you incapable of reciprocating the kiss, your dangling feet nervously giving small kicks in the air.

Seonghwa finally parted from you, allowing you to catch your breath. But he was far from done with you.

“I know you long for more than this, angel” he whistled while his hand went up your thigh, still clothed with the thick black fabric of the habit. “I know you languish for pleasure” his blunt nails went up your arm and you realized you were still holding onto the carrot. He ripped the root from your hand.

“You won’t need this anymore” he said before smashing the poor vegetable on the ground sending millions of orange pieces flying across the room, you flinched once more at the demonstration of strength.

“Mine is much bigger than this. But don’t worry, love, I’ll make you nice and ready for me” he purred before placing both of his strong hands on the habit and just like that with astonishing ease he rips through the black gown. But not only, everything covering you is ripped in two and that also goes for your bra that fell to the ground. With the deafening sound of the fabric ripping you found yourself completely naked in front of the demon apart from the veil on your hair and the rosary beads laying on your chest.

You flinched and your hands flew to cover your nude frame but Seonghwa once again laughed and you felt an irresistible magical force pin your wrists at each side of your face. You sniveled and squirmed trying your hardest to go against the invisible force to hide away from the avid eyes of the demon.

“How cute.” The demon snickered when you failed to fight back. “Sweetheart, you don’t get to hide anything when you look this good” he said in a breath, eyes darting over your naked figure. From your dangling feet, to your thighs tightly pressed together, to your flushed face and to the Rosary beads sitting between your gorgeous breasts, swaying every time you kept trying to break away from the spell pinning you against the wall.

He brought a cold hand to the side of your breast, you couldn’t help but to moan as you felt his soft hand against you, his finger suddenly pinching your sensitive and hardened nipples. You let out a high pitched whimper.

“So sensitive” Seonghwa mocked you before he flicked the sensitive bud. Then he lifted his hand to harshly slap against the innocent lump of flesh, you jumped in surprise at the sensation. The surprise didn’t lie in the sudden surge of pain but rather from the enjoyment you got out of it, the sting sending electricity down your spine to light up your core.

With another faint movement of the head Seonghwa made you open your legs widely. You whimpered and felt tears build up in the corners of your eyes when he finally laid eyes on your most private part. And you realized with dread how wet you were. Soaked. Juices streaming down to your inner thighs making them glisten under his persistent gaze.

“Fuck, sweetheart” he exhaled out one heavy breath. “You got this fucking wet for me?” he said as he crouched down, inching his face dangerously close to your exposed center.

Embarrassment and shame reached an unbearable level, tears finally spilled out of your eyes, wetting your cheeks as you squirmed, trying your best to escape Seonghwa’s spell.

“So here’s the little hole I’m going to split in two” he said as his breath brushed over your wet folds.

You squirmed even harder, somehow feeling Seonghwa’s spell loosen around your wrists and ankles. But when he aimed his pointer finger right on your swollen bundle of nerves, earning a loud scream from you, the sudden pleasure from the perfect amount of pressure he applied on you made you completely immobile. Torn between the need for more of the foreign forbidden joy but also the fear and shame of letting the demon have his way with you, tainting you, taking away your most precious possession: your purity.

“What? Are you not fighting me off anymore?” He started to draw small circles on your bud. Your wetness made it easy for his finger to glide across the small and stiff nub. You moaned a little louder and he started going faster.

“Does it feel good, angel?” his voice went down an octave as pleasure got to your head, making the room spin, luckily you don’t have to stand on your legs.

Seonghwa went even faster when you didn’t reply.

“I said, does it feel good?” his tone was as harsh as his restless teasing of your clit. Hellish circles sending blazing heat to your whole body as you felt the pleasure rising in the deepest part of your core, your walls quivering on themselves.

But Seonghwa slowed down at the worst moment, a wicked smirk pulling on his plump lips, narrowing his piercing siren eyes.

“Good little sluts should answer when asked a question.” His pace was now just fast enough to keep you at your limit, each spasm of your core, testifying of the agonizing muted pleasure he was inflicting on you.

“Answer!” he ordered while he delightfully pressed on your painfully sensitive bundle of nerves.

“YES!! Yes it feels good” you blurted out, panting, sweat pearling between your breasts, giving in to the pressure.

“Good girl” he praised as he finally lifted his hand from your sensitive parts. You sighed in both relief of finally being let off the hook but also in frustration at the displeasing feeling of his denial.

But before you could celebrate or pester he pushed that very same finger inside you. You didn’t know by what ungodly miracle he managed to aim straight at your sensitive spot, but he did, applying divine pressure deep inside you. Your eyes instantly rolled to the back of your head as you felt the will of fighting off slipping through your fingers.

Seonghwa chuckled at your reaction, he was enjoying himself very much. After centuries of boredom he intended to savor every second of your agony.

“Darling, you really are hungry for my fingers, aren’t you? Your slutty little cunt is gripping so tightly” he chuckled again while he pulled his finger back. You hated how right he was. You hated how you felt your walls clench around him, how you felt your own body crave for more of him as soon as his finger slipped out.

But the yearning didn’t last long because he pushed past your entrance again, this time fitting two fingers inside you, taking the time to gently stretch you until his blunt nails reached as deeply as they could.

You let out a moan through gritted teeth, the pleasure making beads of sweat pearl at the sides of your face.

“Fuck! Your virgin little pussy just loves to be stretched out like this, doesn’t it?” He leaned even closer to your sopping center.

Tears continued to run down your cheeks as pleasure rose again. Seonghwa picked up the pace, stretching your walls so deliciously, pumping his two fingers in and out of you, each time he pulled out he ripped a moan out of you. Again, you started to twitch around his fingers and he smirked down on you. Pleasure continuously grew as you made this silent prayer that he would finally take you over the edge, over the barrier of this beautiful and forbidden land that you stayed away from all these years.

But again he slowed down and came to a stop. This time tears of pure frustration ran down your cheeks as you pathetically bucked your hips up trying to fight against Seonghwa’s spell pinning you down the wall.

“Aww.” He cooed in a mocking tone. “Darling, I’m sorry… were you about to cum?” He said while you shot him a death glare. He chuckled at your reddened cheeks and your frowned brows.

His finger swiped across your fold, pressing on the lonely bud once and you instantly dropped the angered look, your eyes drooped at the sensation and you couldn’t help but to grind against him, your womanliness made so eager by his touches.

“Fuck, look at you” he slipped one finger back inside, pumping it very slowly in and out. You bit down on your lip. “Acting so fucking distant only a few minutes ago…” he added a second one as you moaned out in bliss. “When in fact you were craving this… craving me…” he fitted a third one inside your already crowded heat as your moans now mixed with confused sobs. The intense feeling of pain and pleasure blending into a dangerous cocktail.

“Fuckkk” you cursed out, allowing yourself another sin you managed to avoid up until now, which has the demon showing more teeth.

“What a good little slut taking all of my fingers so good” he said as he took his time thoroughly stretching you out, his blunt nails pushing against your sensitive spot, while his face was closing in the distance with your intimate parts. Your eyes fluttered close as the muscles in your neck gave out and you let your head hang back on the wall.

“Look at me” Seonghwa grunted and your eyes snapped back open instantly meeting his dark ones, his irises seemed to go black with perversion.

“Now I’m gonna make you cum” He announced as he picked up the pace once more, you can tell he didn’t intend to stop before it was over. “I want you to never forget this. This feeling you’re about to experience.” His wrist took on a punishing pace as your eyes were locked with his. Pleasure sending radiating heat through your body, chest heaving up and down as you moan out loudly with your jaw hanging open. “Every time you’ll think of me I curse you to feel exactly… like… this”

Seonghwa finally wrapped his mouth around your lonely and eager little clit, flicking his tongue on it as his fingers relentlessly punched your g spot, both sources of pleasure go to your head and your first orgasm finally drops over you like a wave, taking you away with its raging current.

Your cum squirts out of your body, water like fluid rushing out of you and filling Seonghwa’s mouth, drenching his neck and exposed chest in the asymmetrical silver vest. He moaned, lips against yours and sending delicious vibrations into you.

You screamed out as the level of pleasure ripped through you, your walls clenching around Seonghwa and twitching uncontrollably as your whole body shook, still magically pinned down to the wall.

When you finally settled down he slowed down and took his fingers out of you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and licking his fingers clean.

“Hmmm” he hummed contentedly and smacked his lips, seemingly enjoying your taste. “It’s true… Good little sluts, like you, taste much better”.

Seonghwa cut the spell and stood back up, your exhausted body dropping to the floor, your weakened legs unable to support your weight.

Seonghwa had enough of this teasing and had grown impatient. He brushed back the cum-soaked locks of charcoal black hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks, the wet skin of his chest glistening under the silver asymmetrical vest. Your eyes trailed down below the belt you gasped as you saw the outline of what was hidden from your eyes all this time… Even still restricted by the fabric of the shiny gray dress pants, the thickness and the length had your heart racing again.

“I want to feel you around me. Now.” he ordered, in a sultry tone that lifted goosebumps all over your naked skin.

Suddenly your body was magically lifted up again but this time Seonghwa threw you on the bed. The veil was barely hanging onto your hair anymore.

Seonghwa walked to you as he took off the cropped blazer along with the rest of his clothes. You gulped down at the sight of his nude and perfectly sculpted body standing beside you. The glistening chest made wet with sweat and cum, dripping down his abs even down to his groin where you barely even dared to look.

There it was. The Absolute Sin.

Seonghwa’s long, thick, twitching, veiny, hard cock.

You could have screamed at the monstrous thing if you weren’t still in a daze from your first crushing orgasm . It was so thick, so long you couldn’t even begin to imagine how this was about to fit inside you.

Seonghwa chuckled when he caught the panic swimming in your wide eyes. He thrived on this fear. And he knew exactly how it was going to go. And he couldn’t wait. He couldn’t wait to see the very same doe eyes grow heavy with pleasure and look back at him with need when you will inevitably beg him to keep going, to never stop fucking you. Because he broke you once and he intended to do it over and over and over again until you will no longer remember anything but him.

Seonghwa dipped both his knees at your sides, his body weight making yours sink in the soft mattress while he shimmied his way up between your wide open legs.

He rubbed the thick blazing hot tip on your still very sensitive bud while he stared down at the place your two bodies met. You tried not to moan by biting down on your bottom lip.

“Please” you meekly whimpered, his dark eyes shot back to yours.

“Please what?” he slithered between his teeth, smirking.

“Please don’t… do that…” you puffed, as fear crushed your chest. Seonghwa snickered again and brought his hand to very gently and softly brush his thumb over your wet cheeks and lips.

“Darling” his deep voice purred so softly. “You are not under any spell here. You can control this tiny little body of yours. So go ahead” he taunted you as his hand went down from your face to your sensitive nipples. “Go ahead and close your legs.”

What? No… It isn’t possible.

There was no way he was not the one forcing your thighs apart like this. But when you gave it a try, when you attempted to lift your ankle it actually worked. You indeed could move. But… somehow you…. still didn’t.

“Come on show me. Go ahead, pretty” his hand went down again to your stomach. “Close your legs on this poor, aching, desperate….” he flicked his pointer finger on your clit “virgin little pussy”. The sweet sting made you moan out and arch your back instinctively.

Seonghwa waited a few seconds staring down at you with amusement as you didn't move an inch. Your body kept your legs nice and wide for him against your own will.

“You know what?” he took his hand back and you swallowed back a whine and the loss of contact. “Okay, I won’t… if you are still this strong headed after all of this maybe you’re right. You are a pure spirit and I can admit defeat when I have lost.”

The smug look he wore completely gave him away. You knew it was a ruse, a ploy to get to you, to toy with you but you weren’t listening to reason anymore, only your delirious body tortured with vicious need and you just couldn’t risk it. You couldn’t risk him leaving you, not like this.

“NO!” you wailed, extending your hand to him as he was already getting off the bed and on to his feet. “I-…I-… Ok… do it”

Seonghwa’s expression here took a turn. The smug smile was completely wiped off his face, only dark brown and grave eyes looking down on your naked frame.

“Yeah?” he came back to bed and laid over you. He brought his lips close to your ear and he seductively whispered against your neck as your eyes fluttered close. “If you want it, sweetheart. You’ll have to properly beg for it”.

Your eyes snapped open. But Seonghwa only looked dead serious.

“I- I-” you started but Seonghwa lifted his hand to let it slap against your wet cunt. The whacking sound bounced off the bare walls and the stinging pain had you grunting in unsolicited pleasure.

“I said properly. I want to believe you” his voice had nothing of the playful undertone it had a few moments ago. You didn’t think twice, maybe not even at all.

“Please, Seonghwa. I implore you to fuck me. Please fuck and use my slutty virgin cunt as much as you’d like. Please hurt me and rip my virginity away. I want to scream and cry out your name. I want to be yours. I want to forget everything about the good girl I used to be, I want to be your whore. Forget about my soul, just take it with you back to hell.”

Silence fell as a grin played on his lips. It’s not smug or playful, it’s wicked, downright evil.

You were not just begging him. The desperate prose was not just a plea. It was a prayer. You were praying for him to taint you. Begging him to take away your purity like it was nothing but a nuisance to you, discarding it. Seeing you abandon your values and principles was the greatest achievement, a victory so sweet it made Seonghwa lose control. The feeling was intoxicating, blissfully filling his veins and making his evil heart thump. In his infinite existence he had never felt that. And it was all thanks to you.

Suddenly his body was elevated in the air and purple smoke enveloped him again. For a second you were scared that he was actually leaving you but the thought vanished as quick as it appeared when you heard the distinctive shrill sound of the metal scraping against the wall. You looked above your head and you witnessed with dread the crucifix above your bed being slowly turned upside down, engraving the white plaster of the bare walls. The foreboding omen lifted goosebumps off your skin and sent a cold shiver down your spine.

Soon you saw his body peek out as the smoke evaporated. It was still him but he had changed.

Huge wings were open behind his back, covered in raven black lustrous feathers, shining under the moonlight peeking from the window as the dark night was now settled. Two black horns have pierced his skin at each side of his head, pointing upwards, resembling the ones of a spanish bull. His body, somehow, looked even more defined, the muscles of his abs and shoulders seemed to bulge out. He looked strong, ominous, dangerous.

“You have such a way with words” he said as he floated back between your legs and settled his huge cock on your stomach. “Now I’m gonna make all of your wishes come true”. He brushed the tip of his cock, wet with precum, once again on your slick folds. “I've never fucked a mortal in my true form before.” he started, still rubbing against you, the muted pleasure making your brain fuzzy. “I can’t guarantee you’ll come out of this alive”.

But you were already set on it and if you had to die, so be it…

“I don’t care” you whispered as your eyebrows met and you looked back at him with need.

You braced yourself when you felt him finally push himself inside you. You could practically hear your hymen rip in two to make way for his huge cock. The puny little carrot could have never compared to the size of him.

“What a good little slut you are,” he cooed, before grunting as you were gripping around him. “Willing to die for a round of fun on my big cock”.

Sharp throbbing pain ripped through your lower stomach as you frowned and grunted.

“I know…” Seonghwa purred as he leaned over in your ear “I’m big” he said as he finally reached the bottom of you, linking his hips with yours. And he pulled out a lot faster than when he came in. Your eyes rolled back and you crushed the pillow over your mouth to yell in it.

But when he went back in again somehow the ache had lessened and pleasure was slowly taking its place. Soon the pain, as sharp as it was, vanished to become only a vague memory you couldn’t even recall as your mind was too preoccupied by the incommensurable pleasure Seonghwa made you feel.

“Fucking whore” Seonghwa grunted as he mercilessly ramed up your pussy, making it the shape of his cock. “Cheating on God feels good, doesn’t it? Your whorish little cunt can’t resist this fat demon cock, can it?” he growled.

You started twitching once again around him and Seonghwa instantly recognized the familiar clench he felt earlier around his fingers.

“Are you going to cum?” he asked, panting above you.

You couldn’t even process the words you were hearing as your eyes rolled back and your jaw fell open. But you were brought back to your senses when Seonghwa’s big clawed hand slapped your cheek forcefully. The burning pain took you aback and stopped your never ending ascension to pleasure. You whined a complaint and Seonghwa grabbed your face into a strong grip making your lips pout.

“Good little whores have to ask first” he said, still deeply pounding your precious little pussy.

“Pleasepleaseplease… C-can I cum?... F-fuckk… Please” you mumbled as his pace made it hard to hold yourself back.

“No!” he responded sternly. “Not now” he said, smirking evilly. Enjoying this anguish in your eyes as you tried your best to control your body. He brought his hand and pinched hard on your swollen little clit.

“Aaaah” you screamed, arching your back and pressing your head back into the soft mattress.

“You’ll cum when I’ll tell you too” he snickered, looking down at you. And the pleasure kept on building, frustrated tears starting to wet your cheeks again.

“My God please…” you whined, as tears streamed down your face and your pussy clenched around his thick cock. Seonghwa scoffed.

“Sorry but he has left you, darling.” He started to draw circles on your sensitive and aching clit, still maintaining the punishing pace of his cock rearranging your guts, making the rosary beads jump along with your breasts with each powerful thrust. You cry out as it’s becoming nearly impossible to keep yourself from cumming. “He abandoned you to me” he growled, his low voice sending electricity down your core.

“Pleaseeeee” you pleaded once more, desperation oozing out of your broken up voice and finally Seonghwa pronounced the magic words.

“Cum. Cum for me like the godless little whore that you are”

Finally you let go. You let Seonghwa’s skillful hand and monstrous, merciless cock take you down to the hellish pit of lustful sin. Pleasure took over you and clouded your vision, everything came to a blur as you could only concentrate on the throbbing of your cunt around Seonghwa’s thick dick. You moaned out his name in pure agonizing bliss. The orgasm was even longer lasting, even stronger than the one he gave you moments ago. And you knew for a fact now that there was no going back.

The good girl that you were had died, Seonghwa killed her. And you had let him do it without batting an eyelash. But fuck did it feel good. You felt no shame, no regrets, only unholy desire for the demon’s heavenly cock.

Soon the high wore off but Seonghwa didn’t seem to care and kept on pounding you, taking a bruising grip on your parted thighs with both his hands.

“Please” you whimpered again as your poor little pussy might split in two from clenching and throbbing this much right after an earth shattering orgasm. Seonghwa chuckled in between heavy breaths.

“I just came” you cried out, turning into an over-stimulated mess.

“I don’t care” he spat, using you like a fucktoy just like he pleased, after all you had asked him to do so… ‘to fuck and use your slutty virgin cunt as much as he’d like’. The exhausted quivering of your restless pussy started to build up again and before you could even realize it, Seonghwa’s thick cock had you flirting with the edge of the bottomless pleasure pit again.

“Please” you whined “Please stop” you begged him, breast lewdly jumping up and down with each of his brutal thrusts. But he kept on going, growling as his eyebrows met, handsome face contorted in pleasure, biting his lip. Body pressed over yours and full black feathered wings completely concealing you, one of his horns even scraping the wall with one too violent move.

“Pleaseeeee” you whimpered yet again. And suddenly your body was being lifted and flipped over by Seonghwa’s spell. You land on all fours, completely confused but worst of all, completely empty.

“Don’t you get it?” Seonghwa said as he slowly pushed himself back into your soft, warm little throbbing cunt. You moaned as you gladly took him back. “You sold your soul to me. You don’t get to ask for anything anymore. So I’ll fuck you for as long as I see it fit” He said before pushing down on your face, shoving your head into a shamefully submissive position, your ass up in the air, ready to be destroyed by him once more.

His fat cock parted you so deliciously as lewd wet sounds rang to your ears. It was like your once virgin pussy had completely taken the shape of his monstrous dick. Every movement he made ripped a delighted moan out of your lips, you didn’t have the will to fight anymore. You only wanted him and this delectable high he made you feel.

“Fuckkk” you cried out as he started to go faster again, the quiver in your lower stomach making a quick return.

“You’re my thing now.” He ripped the veil of your hair, the last relic of your past self and sent it flying across the room. He grabbed a fistfull of your hair, harshly pulling on it maintaining your face forward but your chin still firmly planted in the mattress, asserting his dominance on your frail figure. “My toy, you hear?” the sting on your scalp added to the full feeling of his cock had you completely fucked out. Your eyes rolled as heat spreaded through you again, your jaw fell open and your tongue slipped out. You were fucked out dumb, completely. Brain nice and thoughtless just from him.

“Yeshhh” you mumbled.

“I’m gonna make you cum again and this time I will fill your dirty little cunt with my cum” The obscene sounds of his balls slapping against your slick folds and clit bounced off the walls.

“Yesshh pwweathe” you replied as your tongue slapped against your chin with each inhuman thrust of his hips deep into you, sending strings of drool on your chin and staining the sheets.

“Today you’re ovulating, you know what it means?”

Your eyes snapped back open.

“I’m gonna force a child into you. You’ll take my seed into your fertile womb and life will sprout inside you” His grip on your hair tightened and you felt him start to twitch inside you.

“You’d like that?” he teases, knowing the answer.

“Yesssshhhhh!!!” you yelled, you were ready for anything if it meant he’d let you cum again.

“Then take it. Take my cum you depraved slut” His second hand left your hips to grab the rosary still around your neck, twisting his wrist to wrap the beads around his fingers and pulling on it while still maintaining his grasp on your hair.

Bloodstream to your brain became restrained and you started to feel dizzy. A deliciously light headed sensation filled your head up as your pussy quivered with a third orgasm. Your hungry cunt squeezed Seonghwa’s thick length as if its life depended on it, demanding every last drop of cum the demon had to offer. You clenched and throbbed around him in pure joyful sin as he took you to the deepest part of this abysmal and cursed pleasure, taking your sanity and everything that was left of the old you to the pits of hell with him.

Seonghwa’s rhythm faltered and he shuddered and grunted in bliss as his throbbing cock gushed out streams after streams of piping hot cum that stained your walls with white, shooting straight up to your womb, assuredly knocking you up in the process.

You yelled and moaned one last time. You were so full of him, belly round and swollen with the ungodly amount of cum Seonghwa gracefully gifted you. You were so unbelievably full that you couldn't help but to let it flow out of you and run down your thighs, no matter how much you clenched to keep it all inside.

You were in heaven. This was pure euphoria. A kind of contentment not any amount of spirituality and virtue could ever give you. The kind of happiness you could only experience when you let go of everything you’ve ever known to throw yourself into the arms of the most pleasurable sin of all.

Lust.

***

The next morning when you woke up at dawn with the chirping birds you felt nauseous and disoriented. You looked around the room and found it immaculate. Your habit was not ripped in two, it was neatly folded on the wooden bedside table along with your veil and underwear. The room was clean and neat: no traces of small pieces of orange carrot anywhere or puddles of cum on the wooden floor. And you were wearing a comfortable full length pyjama gown.

In a flash, disjointed memories came back to you. You remembered the anthracite gray suit, the black bull horns, the raven wings, the defined abs, the devilishly handsome good looks, the tempting smirk and the huge thick angry cock and the immense forbidden pleasure that came along with it.

You sat up and looked behind you hastily, the wall was perfectly smooth, no scrapes of the black horns and most of all the crucifix was perfectly normal, hanging right side up.

You spotted the small, thin, intact carrot next to your pillow and sighed in relief. Yes, you had sinned but you knew if you confessed and prayed hard enough God would forgive you. Afterall, you had never done such a thing and it was shameful and wrong, yes, but they were far greater sins than this one, like selling your soul to the Sin of Lust and bearing his child… You shook your head, chasing away the blurry memory of the nightmare, feeling a weird tingly build up in your lower stomach as you saw flashes of the evil smirks and the huge monstrous-

“It was a dream” you said out loud, sighing, hoping the sound of your own voice would prevent your mind from imagining more of the sinful imagery. “Just a meaningless dream” you told yourself again.

Convinced the soreness between your legs was only due to masturbating for the first time, that the nausea was nothing to worry about and that the spasm inside your belly were benign little cramps.

Seonghwa smirked in victory as he looked at you through the pierced purple smoke. He made it. He broke you beyond repair. He went, won and marked you. And soon he would back to take what you had promised him: an offspring and your soul, body and mind, you.

“See you soon, y/n” he chuckled.

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a/n: leave a comment or even a cheeky lil reblog if you liked it <3

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u3pxx · 5 months

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💛🕊️ Five times Aziraphale gave Crowley a gift plus one time Crowley gave a gift in return.

DID YOU KNOW THAT @contritecactite, once again, wrote a VERY GOOD fic about my bad omens spouses??? and it's so wonderfully GOOD???!?!?!!

anywhooo, a very big special thanks again to elle for writing this! it's been just a real treat talking to them and the klapollomb gomens s2 support group about bad omens 🥺 i'm really, really thankful that y'all decided to indulge me and my freakingg swap au wheezes <33

i'm gonna cut myself off here and ramble more under keep reading :0]

like these drawings? they're prints, here! | like what i do? support me on ko-fi!

seeing this get written was an experience! one of the things keeping me alive during prelim exams LOL if i remember correctly, this kind of started bc i was curious if bomens zira would actually have, i guess, a real demon equivalent the way shax (stork), beelzebub (fly), and furfur (deer) do. so i looked up the words 'crow demon' and whaddya know!

a crow demon!! and what's that? "cause Love"?

what a perfect fit for demon!aziraphale! and really, i was only messing around the first time i had the idea of "haha lol wouldn't it be funny if demon aziraphale was a crow", and then bam! all of it started to, surprisingly, fit well together pfttt (special thanks to bepo for being the one to piece it all together wheezes <33) (also, just really thank you all for bouncing ideas with me, it really does make me happy dfgdhjd <3333)

and then elle wrote a little snippet at first (IIRC) and then he just feakign!!!!!!! WOAGH!!!!!!! just, tasty delicious words, a fic that made me kick my feet like i was a schoolgirl while reading the whole thing ASKSKS <333

i'm really happy with all the spot art i drew for this! wanted it to look very uhhh, i wouldn't say storybook, but watercolor illustrations were definitely a huge inspiration! i wanted them to feel as nice and cozy as YOU would feel while reading elle's fic <3

i do gotta thank elle again for making these two fem-presenting when they were at the dowlings' bc then i get to draw butch gardener crowley. do you know how much that means to me? do you know do you do y do you know how m how much that how m b butches butches butches .

and a little bonus, one where crowley did not want to pose for the painting PFTT

i am once again putting the link here if you've scrolled this far down without reading it yet, go! go! go!!! IT'S SO GOOD!!!! <3333

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lyvhie · 9 days

Note

HEY LYVIIIEEEEE…. ATE THAT VALENTINE FIC AWPPPPP like whoever requested that needs their ass ate cause…. Anyways! Thinking now about mark being all like lovey dovey with you in public and like “aw yes babe like I love u!” And corny but when he’s with u alone he has no mercy and like treats u like a ragdoll and shit… LOVE U!

-🦋

intensely loved | mkl

boyfriend!mark x fem!reader (18+ mdni) summary: he can't control himself when it comes to you. a/n: HII, 🦋ANOOOON!!! HOW U DOING?!! thank you for requesting again, i hope you like it! LOVE YOU TOO MUAH <3333 cw: smut, unprotected sex, a bit of praise, petnames.

mark lee has forever been the epitome of boyfriend material, a fact that was solidified even further when you became his official girlfriend.

whether it was his charm, his kindness, or his thoughtfulness, mark had it all. he was the kind of guy every girl dreamed of, and the perfect partner for you. whether it was the way he made you laugh, or the way he always knew just what to say, he was the ideal boyfriend, and your love for him only deepened with every passing day.

witnessing his affectionate and clingy behavior when you were near was incredibly captivating. he would constantly hold onto your waist, keeping you close at all times, and would whisper sweet nothings in your ear that always made you laugh and feel loved.

he was fiercely attentive to your needs, always checking in and making sure you were content and comfortable. as a result of his unwavering devotion and tender care, being in his presence felt like being ensconced in a warm and loving embrace. with his attention fixed solely on you, it was clear that you were the center of his universe.

to many outsiders, your boyfriend appears as the perfect image of a devoted and adoring partner. they perceive him as sweet, loving, and exceptionally caring, as if he idolizes you to the point of metaphorically worshipping the ground you walk on.

despite his loving and affectionate nature when in public, things took a contrasting turn behind closed doors. in private moments, you occasionally found yourself yearning for the softer, gentler side of your boyfriend that you were used to when surrounded by others.

“m-mark, please-” your voice, husky from the intensity of the moment, pleaded out for him, desperate to reach his ears. yet he remained oblivious to your attempts to communicate, focused solely on the intense rhythm of his hips against yours. with each collision, you couldn't help but roll your eyes in response to the overpowering sensation, the roughness of his movements leaving you breathless.

“you f-feel so good, baby,” he whispered breathlessly into your ear, his voice rough and filled with need. with each movement, he lost himself in the exquisite sensation of being inside you, his breath catching in his chest.

he would never tire of this sweet feeling of being consumed by you, of how your warmth envelops him so completely. the sound of his name on your lips, especially when your voice grew hoarse from his fervor, sent shivers down his spine and intensified his desire for you even more.

grasping you with a tight hold, his grip was possessively firm, leaving no doubt that there would be bruises. he held your lower back tautly, seeking a deeper angle as he slammed into you with unwavering force.

he threw his head back, fully immersing himself in the intoxicating sensations of taking you without restraint. he lost count of how many times he already came and filled your pussy with his hot seed.

you shared his frenzied need, and like him, you’d lost count of the number of times you’d reached your climax, but your body was exhausted.

every time you gasped and whimpered, trying to convey that you needed a break, he refused to stop. "just once more, babe," he kept whispering over and over again, his passion unyielding as he pushed you beyond your limits, determined to give and take everything the night had to offer.

your cries filled the room as his hand gently, yet firmly glided down to the tender bundle of nerves, massaging it with a rough circular motion. his gaze focused on your face, drinking in the mixture of pain and delight that contorted your features. he continued the relentless assault on your most sensitive spot, his touch precise and adamant as he watched your expressions twist between torture and ecstasy.

his ruthless rhythm never ceased as he whispered huskily, "one more, baby." he buried himself deeply within you, hitting every spot that sent waves of bliss coursing through your writhing body, his moans mingled with yours in a chorus of passion. he leaned in, capturing your lips in a frenzied kiss, eagerly drinking in your soft gasps and protests.

his words whispered against your lips in a seductive murmur "one more, and i promise you can rest.” as he uttered those words, you felt a wave of sweet relief wash over you, a soothing reprieve from the intense sensation of pleasure.

he sensed the way your body responded, squeezing him tightly, as if clinging to the hope of respite. in response, he whispered softly, "that's it, darling, let it go for me." his voice held a tantalizing mixture of dominance and coaxing, teasing the edge of surrender as he skillfully guided you deeper into the abyss of pleasure.

the sheer intensity of the experience sent you spiraling over the edge, your body unraveling completely under him. your mouth opened in a gasp, but the energy to utter a sound eluded you, leaving you in a state of blissful silence. your body convulsed fiercely, your vision clouded by a haze of ecstasy. as you looked at mark, his small smirk told you he was fully aware of the delicious mess you had created.

he continued to push you to the brink, now seeking his own release. he buried his face against the tender skin of your neck, his hips urgently grinding against yours, his own control unraveling.

“g-gonna fill you up, babe,” he muttered through clenched teeth, his breathing labored and quick. his teeth sank into the soft flesh of your neck, marking you with a possessive urgency. his body quivered involuntarily, trembling as he found his elusive peak deep within you, his muscles taut and tense, a low groan slipping through his lips.

with a few final, deliberate strokes, he ensured that every last drop of his cum found its home within you. slowly, he withdraws, his body trembling with the residual tremors of delight. he lowers himself gently over you, the weight of his body pressing against your tired form.

he can sense the exhaustion that courses through your body, the subtle quiver of your muscles. he knows that you're utterly spent.

"you did so good, sweetheart," he whispers into your hair, his voice tender. he presses gentle kisses to your forehead and your cheek, savoring the feeling of having you close before getting out of bed.

your soft, weak voice called out to him, “where are you going?” you were expecting some well-deserved cuddles after being so… "intensely loved".

he only chuckled softly and leaned in to place a tender peck on your lips. “get you some water before we continue.”

#mark lee smut #mark x reader #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct x reader #nct dream x reader

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cherrymoon4 · 2 months

Note

hello ^^ ( thank you sososo much for the love on the other posts! send me requests if you want :P )

hiya!! <3333

honestly don't want to pressure you by requesting xxx

buttttt i love, love, love the way you write suguru xxx

so i'd be happy with anything with him <33333

whether it be a continuation of a similar dynamic with the curses aftertaste fic or something else entirely...

Roommate!Suguru would be so possessive and yummy.

Initially, when you first moved in the apartment, he didn't really care much about you. He knew you had a pretty face and were kinda shy, but that's all.

But as time went on and you opened yourself up to him, he began to get quite obsessed with you. He would be all over you as soon as he stepped foot in your apartment; and you would let him, after all he was just being friendly! right?

It didn't matter that anytime he would hug you from behind you would feel something hard pressing against the small of your back. It was probably just his phone in his pocket!

And you're sure that it's your mind doing tricks on you whenever you hear the bathroom door open while you take a shower. He would never ever spy on you, you were sure.

So when you come home from a terrible date, the first thing you do is rush over to him, your pretty eyes filled with tears, and throw yourself in his arms.

He was quite pissed off from the moment you told him you were going on a date. I mean, you have a perfectly good man at home! Why would you even consider seeing someone else?

Suguru always took good care of you. He always pampered and spoiled you, and every time you would think that he was just being generous.

I mean, he had a big reputation as a respectful and kind guy, especially among girls; his giving personality was what attracted them, his deep, soothing voice and his looks were a plus.

So obviously you thought he was just being his kind self when he took your teary eyed face in his hands and wrapped you up in his arms, engulfing your entire body as if protecting you.

But you couldn't deny the warmth in your belly as he whispered in your ear and rubbed your back, listening intently while you vented about how horrible your date was.

And the whole time he was just subtly smiling to himself, knowing that you would always come back to him; that even if you convinced yourself that you were just friends, deep down you knew that you were meant for him.

"It's not your fault, darling. He wouldn't be able to take care of you properly anyway, not like I do. But you know that, don't you baby? You know no one can compare to me, right?" he mumbled condescendingly, taking your puffy cheeks in his hands and tilting your head upwards to look at him in the eye.

God, you were so fucking precious. Especially like this, all pouty and teary-eyed, soft and pliant in his hands.

"Told you that you should've stayed home with your Sugu, but you just had to be a little brat and not listen to me, mh?"

And you know that if you had listened to him you wouldn't be in this position, you know that he's right.

So when his hands start to wander all over your body while he says that he "just wants to make ya feel better", you just nod and let him.

You don't know what you did to deserve him!

He's too kind, you think as his hands rub your waist and wander lower.

You think he's such a good friend when he pulls your panties down, his fingers rubbing your little clit to "make the sad go away".

And when your legs are over his shoulders, his cock nestled deep inside you and your tummy bulging, you think he's the best friend ever!

He smirks down at you, and he knows he's got you hooked when he sees your eyes crossing and your legs shaking.

"Look at you, already dumb on my cock. You love it, don't you baby? Yeah you do, f-fuck.." he plunges so hard in your little hole, biting his lip to stifle the moans coming out of his mouth.

He knows this is where you belong: your body pressed into the mattress, your pretty pussy stretching around his fat shaft, your wetness creating a pretty ring of cream coating the base of his cock, your pink nails (that he paid for) drawing red stripes across his back;

and maybe then he realizes that he's the one wrapped around your finger, when he fills your little cunt up to the brim with his hot cum, and a small part of him wishes that it takes. maybe then you would only think about him, you'll realize that he's all you truly need, and you for him <3

hiiii! thank u so much for the request (sorry for answering late) i don’t really love this but wtv! hope u do😚

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 2 months

Note

arishoko is my otp <33

that's cute – i could see it

you'd be her sunshine

and she'd be your mommy

okay, and with that, i will see myself out

have a nice day

PHDIFJDJFJJFFJ ANON COME BACK YOU SPEAK NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH………. i would be her sunshine and she would be my mommy. that’s just the way it is. i’d treat her so well!!!!!!! nothing but the best for my goddess :3

#shoko is 2 good for anyone else in that series </3 #she’s 2 good for me too but. i’d do my best!!!!!! i’d be a good little spouse!!!!!!!!!#shoko could do Anything to me and i would simply let her. she’s my wife and i love her :3 #also i feel like my anons shipping me w jjk characters calls for some kind of celebration….#i’ve finally made it……..#jkjk hehe #anon thank you for feeding my delusions <3333 i really do love her more than anything!!!!!#i Need to write more shoko fics ://// i hate how uneven the competition is between her and stsg on this blog #just gotta come up w some fun aus for her!!!!#ask tag ✩

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fqirysim · 6 months

Text

untitled--

genre(s): angst, some fluff at the end, exes to best friends to lovers, highschool au, lowercase intended, lots of pov changes

requested: nope !

pairing(s): yang jungwon x reader, ft. yuna (itzy), and intak (p1h)

word count: 7.2k (my longest fic yet ! )

warning(s): cursing, underage drinking, a tiny bit of infidelity

synopsis: you had been in love with yang jungwon since the day you met him.

note: lowercase is intended, lots of pov changes! (read carefully so you don’t get confused lol). this took me a year to make PLEASE don't judge too harshly i put my heart and soul into this 😭. took me a year to make but could not come up with a title for the life of me, hence why it is called untitled, silly silly me. this was really fun to make though and although it took me a while to make, i'm very proud of it. lmk if you want to be added to my taglist and i will gladly do so !! special thanks to my bestie abby and my bf dean for proofreading love you both <3333

—------

you were certain this was the end of your friendship with jungwon. again. but this time you knew it would be permanent.

he was the boy who lived next door. growing up, you had always admired him from afar. the class president who everyone, including the upperclassmen, seemed to get along with.

you had liked him until freshman year, when you got tired of pining over someone who didn’t seem to hold any interest in you. as comical as it seems, that was around the time that he had started to take an interest in you.

and so he courted you, bringing you your favorite drink, walking you home, even coming over for dinner and hanging out at your house. this helped blossom a friendship that no one saw coming, and it wasn’t long until people started to wonder if you two were an item.

it took two months for jungwon to muster up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend.

you were sure you were over your crush on him, that it was just a silly childhood crush. but as you hung out with him more and more, you couldn’t help but fall for him all over again. of course you said yes, because who wouldn’t say yes to the pretty starry-eyed boy standing before you?

jungwon was a nice boyfriend; going on dates quite often, never fought, and he would buy you flowers without being asked.. maybe the latter was why the whirlwind relationship only lasted five months.

you remember the day so vividly, sitting on the bench at your favorite park; the same park where jungwon had asked you to be his, and here he was, asking you to break up.

it seemed poetic in a kind of way, starting as his, and leaving as no one’s.

“i’m sorry. i’ve just lost romantic feelings,” jungwon stated, staring down at the grass as a breeze of wind came, the blades of grass swaying slightly. “it’s just that we’ve both been so busy with other things, and i guess we kinda just like, drifted apart because of it.”

“yeah, i think so too,” you replied nonchalantly, ignoring the slight sting in your heart.

his head snapped up, your eyes finally meeting his, “wait, actually? you’re not lying?” the sound of relief in his voice made your heart feel like it was being squeezed.

“do you want to get rid of me that bad?” you instead teased with a grin.

“no!” he exclaimed with wide eyes. “i still wanna be friends with you. i might not like you romantically anymore, but i don’t wanna like, lose the friendship we have, you know?”

“yeah,” you replied, “we can still be friends.”

and you two meant it. there were no tears, and no broken hearts (that you would like to admit). it was just a simple case of the right person and the wrong time, and as the years continued, you tried to convince yourself that it was just nothing. that jungwon was not your “right” anything- he was just your best friend, nothing more, nothing less.

you were almost successful. until your last year of high school approached.

you and jungwon kept your word, you stayed friends. always being seen together; walking to class, walking home, studying in the library, eating lunch in the cafeteria.

people still believed you were together, and you always had to correct them, because no you and jungwon were no longer together and no you were not a thing.

they never believed you, though.

there was always a small part of you that wanted to say yes when someone would ask. that you and jungwon were a thing and that he was yours and you were his. but you never did, callingyourself crazy for even thinking of doing so.

you found yourself doing it again as yuna had asked you earlier in the week.

yuna was the new girl this year, having transferred from jyp high. from what you heard, she was nice, smart, and she was gorgeous. you were never one to put yourself down, but you couldn’t say that you didn’t feel insecure standing next to her.

“no, jungwon and i are not dating,” you smiled politely. it was almost like a script at this point. “we’re just good friends.”

“that’s good to hear,” yuna smiled, her eyes sparkling. “i just wanted to ask him out, but i wasn’t going to if you had a thing!”

“oh, you’re thinking of confessing to him?” you questioned. there was that little part of you again. the part that always said no! tell them you’re a thing! tell them to not do it!

“yeah, he’s in a bunch of my classes. he’s super smart and polite and he always knows how to make me laugh. and he has such pretty eyes,” she sighed dreamily as her mouth formed into a lovesick smile.

“well, he has that effect on people,” you grinned.

i would know, you thought.

“i say go for it! he’s not particularly interested in anyone, you have a good chance.”

“you really think so?” she asked, eyes wide.

god, i hope not, you thought. as shitty as it was, you didn’t want jungwon to move on. you felt sick at the thought of him being with someone else.

“why not?” you said instead. “he’ll be at the library after school today studying, i’m supposed to meet him, but i can just tell him something came up.”

“oh my god, you’re the best!” she squealed, engulfing you in a hug. “thank you thank you thank you.”

“you’re welcome,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around her, ignoring the green monster growing within you.

—----

it had been four days since your conversation with yuna. every time you saw him, you waited for him to bring up the date with baited breath- but he hadn’t said anything. not yet at least.

or maybe yuna simply didn’t ask him on a date. that’s what you were secretly hoping, at least.

it seemed hoping wasn’t enough. on the fifth day jungwon approached you from down the hall with those twinkling eyes and a bright smile you love so much, he seemed more energetic than usual with a little hop in his step.

“you’re not gonna believe what happened today!” he exclaimed as he reached you at your locker.

you could believe it. you were the one who hooked yuna up after all. yet you feigned curiosity as you looked at him quizzically, “what is it?”

“yuna asked me on a date! me! of all people! she’s so cool and smart and nice and pretty,” he said with a dreamy look on his face.

you knew that look. the far away gaze as he thought of her. it was one you would never forget. it’s how he used to look at you. that lovesick grin and those twinkling eyes.

it had never bothered you before when jungwon had crushes on other girls, because well, that’s all they were. they never escalated into anything more. looking at his lovestruck expression, realization hit that jungwon wasn’t yours anymore.

you shouldn’t have thought of it that way. you should be happy for him! you should’ve been celebrating with him and cheering him on!

you couldn’t help the bittersweet smile on your face as you replied, “oh, well that’s nice.”

his smile faltered slightly at your expression, concern slowly forming on his face.

“are you okay?” he asked.

“i’m fine, don’t worry,” you said, regaining your composure. “i’m happy for you! and don’t worry about spending less time with me, you’re gonna be a busy guy now! with a girlfriend…”

“okay, she is not my girlfriend. and even if she was, I would never ditch you!”

“yeah whatever you say, loverboy,” you joked, giving him a playful nudge with your shoulder.

“no seriously, y/n,” he replied, softly. “are you okay with yuna and i being a thing? i just don’t want it to be weird because you and i used to be a thing, and i know we’re both over that but i just wanted to make sure-,”

“what, me?” you scoffed, cutting the boy off. “what you and i had wasn’t serious, it was just some dumb high school fling.”

even as you spoke those words, you knew they weren’t true. it was more than just a fling. you loved him and maybe you still did.

silence hung between you, the hallway getting quieter as the remaining students scrambled to their classes, the late bell ringing, leaving you and jungwon in the hallway alone.

he looked hurt at what you said. you immediately wanted to take it back, to say you didn’t mean it and that he was your first love and you didn’t want him going on that date with yuna.

“sorry, i shouldn’t have said that,” you muttered, not being able to meet his eyes and instead turning to close your locker.

“no, you don’t have anything to apologize for,” he replied, as he started to back away, making his way to his class down the hall. “you’re right, it was just a fling, and honestly, it’s so weird to think of us as a couple.”

it was like your world was falling apart around you as he spoke. did you interpret his hurt expression wrong? maybe this all was one-sided. did he not feel his heart breaking like you did? did he not wonder occasionally (or everyday) how his life would be if you were still together? did he not miss what you had?

maybe there really was nothing between you and jungwon but friendship.

“yeah, so weird,” you awkwardly smiled, walking to catch up with him. “but you and i, we’re good, right?”

“yep, no worries,” he grinned back.

“good,” you smiled. “so when’s your date?”

his eyes brightened ever so slightly as you asked. he started to describe his date– how he was going to take her to the beach and have a picnic and play in the sand.

you nodded along, your mind wandering off to when jungwon would take you on beach dates, burying him in the sand, splashing him with water and swimming away before he could splash you back.

you looked over at the boy in question, his starry eyes wide as he talked about his date plans, his smile wide and giddy, his tone as sweet as honey as he talked about her.

you knew you shouldn’t villainize yuna– she was a nice girl, a very nice one. it wasn’t her fault you were still in love with jungwon, and it surely wasn’t her fault that she liked him. it’s not like you could choose who you could fall in love with.

you of all people would know.

so you smiled and nodded along as you walked him to class, listening to him go on and on about his plans. you finally settled with the fact then and there, that jungwon would never be yours again. you had to let go.

—--------

it has been six months since that day. the day that you had decided to give up. yuna and jungwon have been inseparable since then.

he kept to his word though; still studying with you after school, showing up when you needed him, hanging out together. sometimes yuna would tag along, which you didn’t mind. she was fun to be around.

you also didn’t mind being the third wheel when she was around, instead teasing the couple and even offering to take pictures for them. they were a lovely couple and they were seemingly happy– jungwon especially, and that was all that mattered.

the school year was coming to an end, and seeing as it was your senior year, people were throwing parties almost every weekend.

you went every once in a while, had some fun, did some underage drinking, even flirted with a couple of people.

tonight was the party though.

intak was throwing his first party of the year, and everyone knew his parties were legendary.

you sat in the uber with jungwon and yuna, anticipating the night before you. you were excited, to say the least. the last time you went to a party was a month ago, and you were ready to have fun. you even put on your best party outfit for tonight!

you arrived at intak’s house (or more like a mansion), and started to make your way inside until jungwon stopped you.

“wait! before we go in, i think we should go over some basic safety rules!” jungwon exclaimed.

you rolled your eyes with a small laugh as you replied, “only you would go over safety rules at a party.”

“i’m serious, y/n, really bad things could happen,” he shot back with a pointed expression.

“okay wonie, go ahead, we’re all ears,” yuna smiled supportively.

you ignored the slight heart ache at yuna using your old nickname for jungwon- the one you used when you were together.

get it together, y/n you thought. letting go, remember?

you instead smiled and nodded reassuringly at jungwon, who looked over at you to make sure you were paying attention.

he sighed before continuing, “okay, i won’t be doing any drinking so i can babysit you guys all night. if you need to use the bathroom give your drinks to me so i can watch them. and y/n, if you leave the party at any point, for any reason, please let me know first.”

“sir, yes sir,” you muttered.

“now let’s go have some fun!” yuna exclaimed, dragging the both of you by the wrists.

you finally entered the house, where there seemed to be everyone from your school. even kids who graduated last year were in attendance, and as you searched the party for a familiar face that wasn’t jungwon or yuna, intak strolled over, a wide smile on his face.

“you guys made it!” he shouted over the loud thumping of the music. he was wearing a letterman jacket with a white shirt underneath, and a pair of baggy straight legged jeans. the outfit looked so good on him that you had almost forgotten that you were talking to intak of all people.

“you look nice, y/n,” he grinned.

you would’ve had a crush on him if he didn’t flirt with every girl he laid eyes on, and it seemed like his victim of the night was you. but damn did he look good right now.

intak wasn’t a bad guy, he seemed harmless, not like the guys who wouldn’t take no for an answer. he just always flirted, with no intentions of making anything serious. most of the girls he talked to never knew the latter though.

but you thought it couldn’t hurt, you were here to have fun, and if flirting with intak was the way to do it, then so be it.

you saw jungwon step forward, about to tell intak to back off and go flirt with someone else, causing you to put your hand on his arm to stop him.

you also noticed how yuna examined the scene in front of her; jungwon trying to be your knight in shining armor, and you with your hand on his arm to stop him. her eyes narrowed slightly in thought as you dropped your hand and turned to intak.

“why don’t you get me a drink and then we can talk?” you smiled dazzlingly. you usually reserved smiles like that for when you wanted to flirt and get wasted, and just as usual, it worked like a charm.

“i’ll be right back then,” intak smiled, before making his way through the crowd of bodies in search of a drink for you.

“really, y/n, intak out of all people?” jungwon questioned, arms crossed.

“yeah, and what about it?” you replied, feeling slightly annoyed at his tone of voice. he had never acted this way towards you before, but you didn’t like it. it wasn’t his business who you flirted with. he talked to you like you were an idiot and you hated the thought of him looking down on you.

yuna awkwardly stood between the two of you, not wanting to be in the middle of your fight, but not wanting to go off by herself at a party filled with people she barely knew.

“‘what about it?’” jungwon mocked your voice in a high pitched tone. “you know how he is, don’t be dumb.”

“dumb? i’m here to have fun, jungwon, not to play third wheel again,” you snapped back. “and why does it matter, you’re not my boyfriend, and you’re not my brother, so it’s really none of your fucking business.”

yuna had been looking back and forth between you and jungwon, watching as you glared at each other, waiting for someone to say something. it was like watching a tennis match.

at that moment, intak arrived, back with a red solo cup in hand.

“a drink for the prettiest girl here,” he announced, handing the cup over to you.

“why thank you love,” you replied with an innocent smile as you looked over at jungwon, still glaring at you, his arms crossed against his chest.

ignoring him, you took a sip of the drink you were given, your face scrunching up at the bitter taste.

“hey intak, why don’t we go dance?” you asked, reaching for his hand.

“that sounds like fun,” he replied with a smile of his own before you led him to the dance floor, leaving an enraged jungwon, and a slightly annoyed yuna behind you.

—-----

yuna had seen the way jungwon looked at you. she might have been a bit oblivious at first, but as time went on and she spent more time with the two of you, it became more and more apparent– jungwon had never gotten over you.

at first yuna thought she could sway him, to get him to fall for her the way he fell for you. but it never worked. he looked at you like you were his own personal angel. no matter where you were, who you were with, how you looked, he was absolutely enraptured by you, and oh, how yuna wished he looked at her like that.

it had been fifty minutes since your small tussle, and yuna and jungwon sat outside, occupying two pool chairs as he angrily took sips of his water.

“it’s like she doesn’t even care, she just ran off with him knowing he’ll never want anything serious, knowing he’s gonna lead her on, and i swear when she comes crying to me, i’m gonna tell her ‘i told you’ right to her stupid dumb face,” he rambled, placing his bottle of water harder on the table than he intended to, spilling droplets in the process.

“well, she’s young and single, and she just wants to have fun baby, there’s nothing wrong with that,” yuna replied. “and she has a point, you’re not her brother or anything, so why do you care so much?”

jungwon looked up at yuna, not being able to ignore the bitter tone in her voice, “wait, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“i’m not on anyone’s side, i’m just asking as your girlfriend why you care so much. because honestly, if i didn’t know any better, i would think that you were still in love with her,” yuna sighed, exasperated.

“i am not in love with her, i like you!” he exclaimed, way faster than he should have.

yuna wanted to believe him. she wanted to ignore every bit of doubt in her body and believe every lie he fed to her, but she couldn’t. not when she knew you loved him too. it was heartbreaking, really. to watch the person you love pine over someone else. but it was even worse knowing the feelings were reciprocated.

“don’t lie to me, jungwon,” she deadpanned, feeling her eyes start to water with tears of frustration. “i see the way you look at her, and i know for sure you haven’t gotten over her. you have never once looked at me the way you look at her, and if you like her, just say that. just say that and we can end things here, without having to make this any more heartbreaking than it already is.”

yuna didn’t want to cry. the last thing she wanted to do was cry, but the feelings of anger and embarrassment had overwhelmed her, causing a few traitorous tears to spill. she was angry at herself for letting it get this far, for falling in love with a boy that she knew would never love her back.

but she was also embarrassed. embarrassed that she had even tried to make an effort, that she had thought she could win him over.

she wiped her face with the back of her hand, only for more to spill out, a sob fighting for an escape from her quivering lips.

jungwon raised his hand to wipe the tears away for her, to cup her face and tell her everything would be okay and that he was sorry. but what was he sorry for? sorry for trying to keep you away from intak? or sorry that maybe yuna was right and he did still love you?

just as he opened his mouth to speak, you stumbled out, words slurring and barely able to walk as you stumbled your way over to them.

“hey guys!” you exclaimed, as a worried intak came rushing out the house behind you.

“oh god, y/n, are you okay?” jungwon asked, immediately walking over to your side to support your stumbling figure. yuna would have felt bitter over jungwon rushing to your side faster than he had ever run to hers. yet, despite the devil on her shoulder that told her to be petty, she instead felt worried for you. you could barely even stand up straight.

“what the fuck did you do to her?” jungwon asked, throwing an accusatory look at intak.

“nothing dude, i promise! she was the one who wanted to drink, she had like 5 drinks within the span of like, 10 minutes,” intak replied, panicked. “is she going to be okay? does she have a way to get home safely?”

jungwon looked from yuna to you, who was falling asleep just standing there.

“just take her home,” yuna sighed. “i’m not gonna make you choose because we all know who you’d choose every single time.”

“yuna it’s not like that,” jungwon groaned. “listen, i’ll bring her home, and then i’ll come over tomorrow and we can talk this out, okay? i promise.”

“okay, just get her home safe first,” yuna replied.

you might have been the biggest obstacle in her relationship, but you were still a nice girl, and you had technically done nothing wrong, so yuna had no reason to want to keep you and jungwon apart. you were also wasted as fuck and there was no way you would be able to get home by yourself without something horrible potentially happen to you.

jungwon grabbed his almost full water bottle from the table he was sitting at, muttering that he would “need it to sober you up”.

he gave yuna one last reassuring smile before he walked away, you on his back as he tried his best to carry you home.

yuna sighed as she watched you go. she felt like something bad would happen today, something worse than her argument with jungwon, and she wanted nothing else but to go home and cry.

all she could do was trust jungwon, even if she knew she already lost him, even if she knew she was never a contestant in the first place.

—------

jungwon almost did it.

he almost carried you all the way home, but his legs felt like they were gonna give out once he reached the park near your house, and he decided then and there that he needed a break.

he sat you on the playground set, sitting beside you with a huff.

you were awake by this point, taking long sips of the water bottle jungwon had given you. you wanted to sober up by the time you got home, but it wasn’t really working, with your words still slurring slightly and your mind all dizzy.

the two of you sat in silence as you gazed at the stars and jungwon thought of his argument with yuna.

maybe she was right.

even now, as he glanced over at you, studying the stars, his heart skipped a beat and he felt his face warm up.

“do you remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend in this park?” you chuckled. “we were so young then, it feels like forever ago.”

jungwon was thrown off by the sudden conversation starter, but still smiled, “yeah, i remember it very well. i felt like i was gonna throw up because i was so nervous.”

you turned your head to look at him and giggled as his smile grew wider.

“what, what are you laughing at?”

“nothing, i was just so in love with you then. i used to think that we would be together forever and ride off into the sunset in a carriage.”

jungwon inspected you as you talked, trying to decipher if there was any meaning behind your words or if it was just the liquor talking.

“i just thought we were some high school fling?” he half-joked as he nudged you with his shoulder. he didn’t want it to seem like he was serious if you were sobering up.

he felt his heart start to race as he stared at your slightly flushed face from the drinks you had, your hair fluttering as a soft breeze blew by. you were everything that jungwon had ever wanted, and here you were, telling him how much you used to love him.

wait, no, what the hell am i doing? jungwon thought to himself. it wasn’t fair to yuna. it was already unfair to her that he only started to date her to get over you. he thought that if he dated her long enough, he would stop loving you and love her instead.

and he genuinely thought it worked. fuck, he thought. i’m such a shitty person.

until he saw you with intak, flirting, dancing with him, laughing at his jokes, he had never felt so jealous in his life, and yuna had noticed. and she was upset, which was fair. what wasn’t fair was jungwon using her to get over you.

use. he hated the icky feeling that word gave him.

“i lied,” you muttered, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“what did you say?” jungwon asked, making sure that he had heard you right.

“i lied,” you repeated, eyes on everything but him. “i loved you, and i think i still do.”

your eyes finally met his as you continued, “you are everything to me, jungwon. i’ve been in love with you since forever, and i only agreed to break up because you said you wanted to.”

jungwon could feel his heart starting to beat faster as he searched your eyes for any hesitation, any sign that this was a lie, or some sort of joke. his heart beat so fast he felt like he was gonna explode as he looked into your eyes, so earnest and so genuine and so filled with love that he knew you had sobered up.

you reached for his hands in his lap, interlacing your fingers with his.

“i can’t keep this from you,” you breathed. “i love you, yang jungwon, and i know you’re dating yuna, but i just have to tell you that i love you, that i always have and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i don’t expect you to leave her for me or anything, but i can’t help it anymore. i love you, i love you, i love you.”

silence hung over the two of you as he tried to form a coherent sentence after your confession. it felt like suddenly his brain didn’t know how to make him talk, to make him say i love you too, or to make him do anything, really.

a minute passed, and then two as jungwon searched your eyes with the same desperation yours had– desperate to love and to be loved by the person sitting in front of you.

jungwon didn’t know who leaned closer first. he thought it was you but maybe it was him. he didn’t even feel like he was in control of his body as he leaned closer and closer, his hand moving to hold your face, searching your face for any hesitation, for any kind of doubt.

you were so close that he could smell the perfume you sprayed before you left your house and the drinks that you had earlier that night.

impatient, jungwon finally closed the gap between the two of you, your soft lips colliding with his. he could have kissed you forever, wanting to stay forever in time there. until realization hit him.

yuna.

he pulled away abruptly, your eyes still closed as you chased his lips with yours. he would have found it cute if he weren’t trying his best not to panic right now. he just kissed you. while he was still dating yuna.

he thought of the look on yuna’s face if she found out– the angry, hurt expression that she had at the party, and even worse, the tears. he would break the poor girl’s heart.

“i should go,” jungwon breathed, quickly standing up from his seat beside you. “it’s almost past my curfew.”

“wait, jungwon,” you said, grabbing onto the sleeve of his shirt before he could walk away. “i think we should talk about this before you go.”

“yeah, we can talk later,” he replied dismissively. “i just need some time to think.”

you opened your mouth to say something else– anything else to make him stay, but closed it as you saw he was already speed-walking in the direction of his house.

you thought that you would lose him forever after your breakup. you had almost lost jungwon once, and you were nearly positive that you won’t be so lucky to keep him this time.

you felt sick to your stomach, and you didn’t know if it was from the drinks or from the events that had just occurred, but nonetheless you felt nauseous.

you hunched over as you started to gag, your vomit flowing out of your mouth, tears streaming down your face.

you wiped your mouth with your sleeve, rinsing your mouth out with water as you started to tear up.

before you knew it, you felt sobs rising, your nose stuffed from crying, your throat getting dry from the sobbing. the embarrassment and sorrow was finally catching up to you– all of the years of repressed love you felt for jungwon, all of the embarrassment from him leaving after you confessed, embarrassment from being a homewrecker– it all came crashing down on you.

you couldn’t go home like this. you were sober enough to know that, with your tear streaked face, ruined makeup, and vomit smelling breath your parents would put two and two together.

your hands shakily reached for your phone in your back pocket, dialing your brother’s number and waiting for him to pick up with baited breath. your brother was your only hope.

“hello?”

“chan?” you breathed into the phone. “i need to sleepover at your place.”

—----

yuna hated this.

the waiting, the feeling of dread as she sat on her bed, awaiting jungwon’s arrival.

the fight that had ensued was horrible, but she believed she made a valid point. if he likes y/n so much he should just go be with her, she thought bitterly.

jungwon had texted her last night at around 1 in the morning, just to make sure she got home safe. yuna didn’t respond. she instead left him on read, still pissed off from the fight.

she used to get butterflies when he would send her texts to make sure she got home safe. but now she didn’t know if he did it because he liked her or if it was just out of common courtesy.

yuna was about to just walk to his house herself before she heard a knock on her door.

“hey it’s uh, me,” she heard jungwon’s muffled voice through the door. “is it okay if i come in?”

“yeah, let’s get this over with.”

she couldn’t meet his eyes as he walked in, striding over to the corner of her bed. yuna hated waiting, but she now felt dread as the pair sat in silence for a bit, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. she had sat nowhere near him.

usually she’d be cuddled into his side, but she instead opted to sit at the head of her bed, seemingly as far away from him as possible. she was worried that if she was too close to him, she’d crack; she’d look at his doe eyes and forgive him and that would ruin the entire point of her argument.

“so,” she cleared her throat, interrupting the silence. “did y/n get home safe?”

“yeah, she’s at her brother’s apartment. he texted me when she got there.”

“‘when she got there?’ did you not walk her there?”

“no, he picked her up from the park near our houses. but anyways, i have something important to tell you.”

yuna felt even more dread seeping into her as he finished his sentence. she should’ve seen this coming from the start. here it comes: the breakup.

“i kissed y/n last night.”

yuna’s eyes widened in surprise. she had expected the breakup, yes. she knew jungwon was emotionally cheating, but now he was physically cheating?

“wait, are you being serious right now?” she laughed in astonishment. she couldn’t believe the audacity of the man sitting in front of her.

“i know it’s bad. i feel horrible, because an amazing woman like you should never be treated as horrible as i’ve treated you, and i am so so sorry,” jungwon started, tearing up from how bad he felt. “all of the apologies in the world could never make up for how i’ve treated you. i’ve made you feel terrible and i’m just making it worse by breaking up with you to be with her.”

“i love y/n, yuna. and i’m sorry that i didn’t tell you, or that you had to find out for yourself before i even knew. you are so so perfect yuna-,”

“but i’m just not perfect for you?” she replied, tears starting to form as she breathed those words.

the silence that followed was more than enough to answer her question.

she hated this. she hated this so so much. but she didn’t hate you, or jungwon. she just hated how love worked, how she had to fall in love with the one boy who couldn’t love her back. she hated that she gave her heart away to a boy that was never going to belong to her– not fully.

she wanted to scream, to throw something, hell, maybe even hit him. she instead took a deep breath, composing herself before she said, “okay. go be with her then.”

jungwon looked over at her, wanting nothing but to comfort yuna. he may not be in love with her, but he did love her, and he still cared for her.

“i’m sorry, yuna,” jungwon said instead. “you’re an amazing girl, but you should never be anyone’s second choice, and i’m sorry for making you feel like mine.”

yuna couldn’t even look at him, fidgeting with the strings of the hoodie she wore.

“just leave, please,” she muttered.

she didn’t want him to see her cry, he had already broken her once, she didn’t want him to see her fall apart again.

with a guilty expression, jungwon hurried away, also not wanting to see her cry again. he felt gross. he felt disgusted with himself for treating her that way. he didn’t like the person he was with yuna, and he felt sick thinking about how heartbroken she was; how she was so hurt that she couldn’t even look at him.

—------

it has been two weeks since your kiss with jungwon, and you hadn’t heard a word from him since. not a single call or text, hell, he didn’t even acknowledge your existence when you walked by him in the halls.

you had seen yuna around, but seeing as jungwon wasn’t joined at her hip like he used to be, you assumed that things didn’t end quite so well between the two. knowing that you were the cause made you want to never show your face ever again, especially because of the dirty looks yuna’s friends have been giving you.

you were relieved it was the last day of the school year; you’d never have to see yuna again and feel the guilt at seeing the sadness in her eyes.

you walked into the bathroom, wanting to wash your hands after eating your lunch, when you saw yuna, touching up on her makeup in the mirror. she looked at you through the mirror above the sink, before going back to her makeup.

the tension was so thick you didn’t know if you should just leave or hide in a bathroom stall until she left.

“i’m not gonna bite, you know,” yuna chuckled.

you smiled back nervously as you started to make your way to the sink.

“yuna i’m really sorry,” you sighed, mustering whatever courage and dignity you had left.

“it’s okay,” yuna replied, finally meeting your gaze. “although it was wrong for you guys to have kissed, i saw the breakup coming from miles away. he was never mine to begin with.”

you were taken aback just by how calm she was, with the way she spoke those words with such elegance and grace. she had every right to be angry with you, to yell at you and call you a homewrecker.

“even if you did think you were going to break up, that still doesn’t excuse what i did, and i really am sorry,” you said, trying to project every feeling of sympathy and sincerity you could in that one sentence. “i’m not asking you to forgive me, or jungwon, but i just wanted to tell you that you really are a cool person, and you’ve always been so kind to me, even now. all of this for a boy, and he hasn’t even talked to me in the past two weeks.”

“wait, he hasn’t reached out to you at all?” yuna asked, confused. “i thought he would say something to you at least.”

“did he say he would?” you replied, confusion reaching you as well.

“no,” yuna replied, fixing her hair in the mirror. “i just assumed so because he’s in love with you.”

once again, you were stunned by her nonchalance. “he’s not in love with me.”

“don’t be silly,” yuna smiled softly. “i can’t tell if dating jungwon was the best or worst six months of my life, to be honest.”

“don’t get me wrong, he was a good boyfriend,” yuna backtracked quickly after seeing the guilt on your face. “he did the usual boyfriend stuff, and he really did try, but i could just always tell that his heart was always yours.”

you couldn’t meet yuna’s gaze as she said this, your face hot with shame. you felt so bad for her, and you didn’t quite know what to say in response.

“i’m sorry that things ended this way,” you finally said.

“it’s okay, it was gonna happen sooner or later,” yuna replied. “but if i’m right, then you should probably go talk to him, he’s probably going insane with guilt right now over me, and over you. bro’s got a lot on his plate.”

you gave a small chuckle at the last sentence, making yuna smile a bit.

“well thank you for the talk yuna, but i’ve gotta go. i think i need to go find jungwon.”

yuna felt her heart break a bit at the words, but she smiled anyways and said bye as she watched you leave the bathroom. yuna didn’t know if she was supposed to cry or feel happy for you and jungwon, but she did know that she was right. again. she knew his heart had always belonged to you. anyone could see that.

—--------

trying to find jungwon was easier than you expected. he was sitting on a swing, at the park that you became his, then wasn’t his anymore, and then confessed your love to him. there was so much that had happened at this park that it made your head hurt a bit just thinking about it.

“is it okay if i sit here?” you asked, motioning to the swing beside him.

“of course you can,” jungwon replied.

the two of you sat in silence.

“i don’t think we should be friends anymore,” you finally spoke up.

he jerked his head to look at you, shock coursing through him. “wait, why not?”

you took a deep breath before saying, “i can’t be friends with you anymore because i’m in love with you. there hasn’t been a moment since i’ve met you that i haven’t been.”

his heart skipped a beat at your words.

this was it, this is what you’d been waiting for since the day you laid eyes on jungwon. but you didn’t think it would go quite like this. you sat there for a moment as jungwon studied you, and you wished he would say something, anything.

“but did you ever consider how i felt?” he finally asked, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “have you ever considered that maybe i’ve felt the same way?”

you felt your breath catch in your throat as he continued, “i’ve seen you everyday since we were five when your family moved in next door. but i didn’t really see you until freshman year, sitting in class by the window, your hair flowing from the breeze that came through, doodling in your notebook instead of paying attention to the lesson. and when you caught me staring, you smiled and waved, and i swear i fell in love with you that day. that day, i knew my heart would always be yours.”

“so please,” jungwon pleaded. “please, do whatever you want with it. you could break it a million times over and it would still be yours.”

now this, this was exactly you had always dreamed of.

you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him, trying to convey all the repressed love you’ve had for him for years through the kiss. you loved him. you loved every single part of jungwon, every flaw, every imperfection, everything that made him him.

“so does this mean we’re official?” jungwon grinned as he pulled away, a playful look in his eyes. you smiled back, feeling the heart eyes in your gaze and the way your heart melted just by looking at him.

“took you long enough.”

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