#i keep saying im halfway through

[syciaralynx]

*sobs in chapter 15*

#i keep saying im halfway through #and i AM #its just that everytime i start to get past the halfway point #my brain is like #BUT WHAT IF. THIS SCENE ALSO HAPPENED BEFORE THAT #this chapter is going to 50 k words and it will kill me actually #its goong to drag me out back and shoot me like a dog #bitw

[merverelli]

just a couple of dirty bean boys!

#jacksepticeye #just like art #this was SO CLOSE to never being finished #art machine (me) broke halfway through but we did it #uni is............. going #even though im only doing 2 subjects im losing it man #i think its just ALL OF THE GROUP PROJECTS IM DOING #like my groups are fine theyre all sweet and nice but i just. #just let me do it by myself let me take 100% control without guilt let me only depend on myself doing it #im such a damn follower with group projects please itd be quicker if it was just me making my own shots instead of a second party coming in #and asking for my opinion when my opinion is always ''do whatever you want :)'' because i either dont mind OR i dont have the social energy #to say otherwise like theyd be fine with it but i just cant do it man i got anxiety of the social kind i cant keep going man i cant #i dont like feeling like im letting down other people or that theyre depending on me im bad under pressure #JUST LET ME DO IT ALONE AND ONLY DISAPPOINT MYSELF BRO CMON #the group projects are wrapping up soon so i cant complain but im screaming #besides that ive been good thanks for asking!

[coachbeards]

brendan saying beard could never be head coach because of personal reasons/having a chaotic mental health/self destructive nature etc bc like. Have you SEEN the other coaches 💀

#beard being too unstable to be head coach like he is the only one who never becomes head coach lmao #have you seen ted. or Nate. or Roy. #beard has issues im not saying he doesn’t but #beard definitely was pulling his weight esp in s2 imo. #we never saw it but like I KNOW. ted wasn’t really focused #nate was spiraling. roy joined halfway through and also wouldn’t coach jamie #beard was the one trying to correct Nate’s behavior and he was going through emotional abuse and still did his job #given by the coaching staff’s concern about him being late to work in bah that like. kinda implies that beard is Never late #like no matter what his night was or what he did like he shows up to work #and he’s actually pretty decent at keeping his work personal life separate #HE EVEN COACHED WHILE HIGH and did a good enough job nobody noticed

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving. #sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno. #i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity. #again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

[trans-gay-blob-of-slime]

Augh

#ive been through ten high schools they start to get blurry no point planting roots cause your gone in a hurry my dad keeps two suitcases #packed in the den so its only a matter of when i dont learn the names dont bother with faces all i can trust is this concrete oasis seems #every time im about to despair theres a 7/11 right there each store is the same from las vegas to boston linoleum isles that i love to get #lost in i pray at my altar of slush yeah i live for that sweet frozen rush *slluuurrpp* freeze your braiiinnnnn swim in the ice get lost in #the pain happiness comes when everything numbs who needs cocaine freeze your brain freeze your brain go on and freeze your brain #care for a hit? does your mommy know you eat all that crap? not anymore when mom was alive we lived halfway normal now its just me and my #dad were less formal i learned to cook pasta i learned to pay rent learned the world doesnt owe you a cent your planning your future #veronica sawyer youll go to some college and marry a lawyer but the skys gonna hurt when it falls so youd better start building some walls #freeze your braainnnn suck on that straw get lost in the pain shut your eyes tight till you vanish from sight let nothing remain freeze your #brainnnn shatter your skull fight pain with more pain forget who you are unburden your load forget in six weeks youll be back on the road #when the voice in your head says your better off dead dont open a veiiinnn just freeze your brain freeze your brain go on and freeze your #brainnn try it bum bum bum bum

[asidewalksymphony]

#star trek #st #st: tng #tng #the next generation #im always in love with the android characters gdi #but also like WHY ARE SOME OF THEM MEAN TO DATA HELLO #still not over pulanski being so rude to data like??? #HELLO? MA'AM? I don't care if you think he doesn't count as a person he's still 2nd in command and a fellow crew mate??? #if she spoke about any other non-human crew mate like she did data she's get her ass whooped #i'm also halfway through s3 and i love the ensign who was saying thank you to the ship computer!!! #i say thank you to the alexa we use #its just a good habit!! #i dont care if its just a robot with basic programming i will stay say thank you because its a good habit to keep

[queenhawke]

watched the first ep of the fallout show. it's fun! personally would've put maximus' stuff after lucy goes outside for the first time, bc then you're seeing the wasteland for the first time along with her, but hey, there's bound to be some bugs with a todd howard production

#no but it seems very fun and im excited to keep watching #i've only played fallout 4 myself and never even finished it #and i watched a playthrough of new vegas ages ago #but it's not like it's based on the story of the games anyway #also my dad started watching it as well?? #he said he had to pause halfway through the second ep bc it was all a bit much lmaoooo #but u know he's 70 so #anyway. idk what im trying to say here #it's fun #wish it was a weekly release but hey ho

[scarrletmoon]

saw a post earlier from some terfs saying that they think gender roles are bad and restrictive and hinder women which yes! correct!

and then they added "and also trans people do this by saying that if you act in a feminine way then you must be a woman, which is how we get trans women" and im just

begging you to log off and go outside and meet trans people who just exist in the world like normal people because they the FUCK are you building your entire political philosophy around online posts that you personally misunderstood. stop pretending that every loud post from a 19 year old is the entire trans community. stop lying. what is wrong with you

wtf is going on there

#scarrlet rambles #sometimes tumblr will suggest a terf post to me #and it's good to keep me on my toes #bc i'll get halfway through agreeing with it #and then they'll say something extremely suspicious and im like #wait hold up #so i get why some people end up falling for it #but come ON

[hella1975]

im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT #but also i just. cannot hack it #'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also #like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently #and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good #and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home #so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN #and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum #that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job #like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good #and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications #and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-' #and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no #like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set #on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through #is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through #ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL #and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there #but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree #(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use #and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person #to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer #bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly #and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident #and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people) #i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments #i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it #yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment #i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up #hella goes to uni

[emry-stars-art]

Where can I read the college au you wrote? It looks amazing

Hey! Nowhere yet, since it's still my nanowrimo project I'm still putting it together 😅 but its coming together well so far, and I have had someone offer to beta already so hopefully it'll be done and ready to go out by january!

#not art sorry guys #asks #thanks for your interest!! #i say by january is an optimistic view #because we're halfway through november #but i started in october #so im not using everything i wrote obviously but its at 45k rn #i have no ability to keep projects like this at a reasonable size #anyway sorry i cant see your whole url #im on mobile #but yeah!

[conjectureand-gloom]

there is something so wonderfully addictive about a favourite anything.

not wanting to share it, but wanting the entire world to know about this wonderful thing.

constantly going back to it, making your friends become slightly concerned because why do they keep going back to this thing?

not knowing how to explain how much this means to you, but being certain that it’s something you couldn’t live without.

whether it’s a favourite book, a favourite song, a favourite food, anything. the feeling is so addictive.

#alexsaysanything #this is related to my favourite fanfiction #just like qhdjwjdiqks ITS SO ADDICTIVE #my friends are getting so concerned about why i keep rereading this fic #i keep quoting scenes halfway through class #(jami yes this is about mine to subdue btw) #(that fanfic is my therapy) #anywayyyyy i just wanted to say smtn about this #idk im in a weird mood rn

[niishi]

before one piece I was torturing myself with garbage anime and now that I'm all caught up, I'm right back to torturing myself with garbage anime... I'm having fun tho. I love when anime sucks. Boruto is a terrible show.

#ppl on tiktok keep saying 'yall cant change up on us now that it's getting good' #when #when will it get good..... #im like more than halfway through the canon eps #i want boruto to die #chocho and dad sasuke are the only good characters #Sasuke as a dad is only good bc hes cringe and fail

[persimminwrites]

i wanna go back to the days where i wrote chapters and oneshots that were less than 1-2k words

#screaming crying shouting #i just started writing the horror story after planning everything out (bc i have learned from my mistakes) #and im only halfway through my notes for chapter 1 and ive written 4k words and i dont know hOW #i think i just get upset and frustrated bc longer projects stress me out for a couple of reasons #and i was trying to keep this story to around 6 chapters and i dont know if i can do that if my word count continues at this rate sdkjfnsdj #longer stories stress me out bc im always worried about losing the thread of the story and it turning into something meandering #and i worry that it will become less engaging and no one will like it or want to read it and it will be BAD #and also im very much someone who just wants to get to the end of the story whether im reading or watching something or writing it myself #which is why i binge all media immediately but when its my writing and i realize its going to take a while to finish in my head i go #'OH NO' #bc im so scared that im going to lose motivation and not finish the story and that is also a huge fear for me bc then #i wont be able to move onto the next project bc ill hate myself for abandoning another and UGH #in reality this is not a big deal but i wanted to whine bc all ive written is setup and i want to get to the spooky #my need for immediate gratification strikes again #writing #min says #min muses

[orcelito]

I always find it kind of funny what some other ppl consider "slow burn". Like I've been reading a fic that the writer repeatedly said was slow burn, but some 40k words in and they've had their first kiss...

I'm not complaining, but that just doesn't feel like that slow of a burn to me lmao. But Then Again, this is coming from the person who writes some of the slowest of burns... not the slowest, mind you, but like. In discacc, I'm pretty sure their first kiss happened around... what, 400k words in? Something like that. And they hadn't even officially Met (in person) until like some 70k words in.

And Then there's ITNL. Currently 74k words, and Wolfwood hasn't even officially entered the story yet.

We're in for the long haul, y'all :]

#speculation nation #itnl shit #discacc shit #sure i'll tag it. this post has me remembering writing it :') #but yea like. hm. i dont think it'll take as long in ITNL as it did in discacc for the relationship shit to happen #if i had to estimate... maybe around 200k? for the first kiss at least. based on my plans for it & all. #keeping in mind that ITNL as a whole could be 400k words. or more... #im notoriously bad at properly estimating word counts though #as seen by my 'im 150k words into discacc and halfway through the game so Surely the fic will be 300k words' #and im sitting pretty at 500k and still a good third of the game left. whoops. #i say it's not the 'slowest of burns' bc one of my fav fics ever is at... what... 600k? 700k? i havent looked in a while actually #so i dont remember. but after all of these words the protagonist still doesnt even realize he's got FEELINGS. #they held hands Once. easily made up for with everything else in the story. utterly fascinating mysteries. so on so forth #for the intersection of fandoms of ppl who know p5 and my shit. itnl rly is inspired by Marigolds. #the short and sweet summary that really tells you very little (so u have to tell via tags what it is)!!! #the time travel and years passed before even MEETING the other person again #im not going as in depth into it but the inspiration is there. im still just utterly enamored with Marigolds years later #and this is a trope so common in p5 fandom (the NG+ style of time travel) yet i hadnt seen it at all in t.rigun #so. yeah. maybe i moved to a new fandom and am taking inspiration from one of my fav fanfics ever #but to be fair discacc has been largely inspired by Marigolds too. just more with characterization than story structure. #anyways. dont worry ITNL readers there will be vw from like the moment they first meet. flirting inevitable. #but the actual resolution will take a while. Emotional resolution even longer than Physical resolution lol #if u read this far into the tags then xoxoxo love U. hope u enjoyed the hints of the planned structure for ITNL

[sorry-i-spaced]

*

#todays open was not it and im not doing well emotionally #our main expresso machine was being a certified butt this morning and halfway through dialing in we realized we needed to switch to the #other certfiable butt expresso machine #so we redialed in and then the tickets werent printing and things that should have been put out/collected during the open duties didnt #and then while on expresso everything undialed itself and we had to fix it while getting orders (the shots were pulling horribly #and then ontop of that people keep getting 5hr shifts instead of the 8hrs #i have come to an understanding that i will never get a 5hr cause i only work 3 days and im at peace with that but im still allowed to be #jealous of those who do. but when i made that comment to someone they were like well thats because you only work 3 days #and im like I'm still allowed to be jealous and they were like we want what we cant have and were just being really condescending #and im on my lunch and straight up almost started crying due to how shit everything this morning has been #im just ready for 3pm to roll around #liz says things

[nexus-nebulae]

oh my fucking god i forgot to pause my game fully and a zombie piglin wandered out of my nether portal and started emitting Music Disc 13 out of its backpack right fucking next to me

#im just scrolling tumblr in silence bc i forgot to unpause my music #and suddenly i start hearing minecraft block breaking noises and breathing and im just *???????? whomst???????* #mildly terrifying! i had more Thoughts but theyre all gone now because i keep forgetting everything after two seconds today #i keep forgetting sentences halfway through saying them