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#i just havent made myself happy like this in so long
hearties-circus · 1 year
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She is literally so pretty who gave her the right
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been thinking of that post about john darnielle saying that sometimes you just keep living after your expiration date or whatever he actually said a lot lately
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chisatowo · 1 year
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Oh baby tomorrow. Today technically. It's already here huh. Just sort of happening. Just like that. Cool beans (<- abt 2 cry)
#rat rambles#band posting#/pos btw but also god damn#Im just. fuck man bndori means so so much to me and all of this has been so overwhelming in a good way but still#Ive been wanting to talk more abt everything thats been going on but I just genuinely cannot word my feelings on everything its so much#like dont yall think for even a second that I havent been internally freakingthe fuck out over lisa giving moca her tie (and yukina to ran)#and hinas speech and lisa and kaoru and maya and eve and ako and ran and just fucking everyone everyone is making me wanna fucking cry#bndori is just. so important to me for many reasons but largely just because it marks such a shift in my life for the better#I wont like credit it for everything ofc but like dude it supported me through some rly rough patches and helped me pull myself forward#like idk this sounds kind of silly but. I think its one of the first medias Ive been into thats actually made me feel good#like not just passionate and hyperfixated on but like actual joy#like from the media itself. god just moca laughing makes me so happy#and again this also might sound kinda silly but I think that joy did a lot to help me like. want to feel better?#like want to change things and move forward even if slowly#and I still have a long way to go but Ive genuinely made so much progress and again I wont directly credit bandori but it certainly helped#also it helped me properly realise Im a lesbian lol#blows a kiss to kaoru. thanks for making me a rimi kinnie ig#also thanks to dawn for being the reason I got into it genuinely changed my life for the better thanks man#but like seriously I think you also generally did a good amount to help me get better at social stuff online#even if we havent talked in a while 😔#but like seriously I dont know what I would have done if you hadnt reached out to me time and time again to chat#Id probably have just melted in my own isolation lol#welp that got a bit personal fast I should probably go 2 bed now djdkhskdh#gn gamers and uhhh sorry if you followed me during my peak paranoia era I was going thru it lol
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tgcg · 4 months
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bad mouther, hole master
TG: kissing with tongue is gross as hell
CG: COME THE FUCK OFF IT.
TG: what
CG: I'M SAYING SHUT UP.
TG: oh
CG: IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD. IT'S LIKE THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF REGULAR KISSING TO EVENTUALLY INCLUDE THAT. IF YOU HAD ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE GHOSTING THROUGH THE DEVOLVING REMNANTS OF YOUR THINKPAN YOU'D APPRECIATE WHAT IT BRINGS TO THE NUTRITION PLATFORM OF ANY CONSENTING CONCUPISCENT RELATIONSHIP!
TG: youre talking about it like its a goddamn military weapon or some shit
TG: some kinda scientific fuckin method to fondle a dudes mouth with your own mouth thats
TG: thats gross
TG: this isnt supposed to be a debate before fuckin congress on the pros and cons of getting your mack on
TG: its i would say a reasonably personal thing to react about and thats just my reaction man you dont gotta arbitrate it
TG: and like why the hell do they have to linger on it so long in these movies do they really want me to immerse myself in people necking each other that much
TG: roll the sounds around in my earholes like im swilling a fine fuckin wine
TG: well my professional opinion is that shit tastes and sounds mad gross and tbh i havent seen a single movie where it was close to being any kind of necessary
TG: its just a cringy waste of everyones time
CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND I DISAGREE WITH EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE GASH, YOU LUMP OF TIGHT-LIPPED CLUELESSNESS.
TG: did you just homestar me
CG: FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, SINCE YOU'RE APPARENTLY DESPERATE TO START SHIT WITH ME RIGHT NOW: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN DONE IT?
TG: hell no
CG: THANK YOU FOR PROVING MY POINT.
TG: proving your point--
TG: bro have uh
TG: have YOU???
CG: EXCUSE ME? HAVE I WHAT?
TG: come on
TG: i walked into this stupid conversation with a fucking shovel and by god am i digging myself a damn hole big and wide enough for every dave across time to squeeze in so i might as well get cosy in this shit before we all start collectively shoving dirt in our mouths
TG: bet your ass im taking you down with me though
TG: grab your spade and get digging man
CG: GRAB MY WHAT????????
TG: just tell me
CG: ???????!!!!!!!!
TG: karkat
CG: NO!
TG: f-
CG: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! WHAT PART OF "SHUT UP" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND????
TG: wait no
TG: oh my god dude
TG: you can spin that shit all you want but you can do it the hell away from me
TG: i do not need to be hip to your weirdo foursquare fantasies
TG: patently not my business
CG: STOP RIGHT THERE. JUST SHUT IT. I AM PUTTING US OUT OF OUR MISERY RIGHT NOW. I AM CONDUCTING AN ACT OF MERCY ON THIS INSANE FUCKING CONVERSATION AND YOU ARE GOING TO ZIP YOUR LIPS AND TAKE IT.
CG: HERE IT IS: YOUR SINGLE OPPORTUNITY TO PRETEND YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME. I AM GOING TO FORGET YOU MADE A COMPLETE MOCKERY OF ME AND MY CULTURE THIS ONE TIME. AND LET YOU CONTINUE TO DIG YOUR STUPID, SHITTY HOLE.
CG: AND DAVE, I AM BEGGING YOU NOT TO WASTE IT.
CG: TO ANSWER YOUR SHOCKINGLY INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION, NO I HAVE NOT DONE IT.
CG: WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK.
CG: HAPPY?
TG: ……..
TG: way to defuse the situation solid work
TG: real gold star effort grabbin that lit wick and blowing on it
TG: ok first of all you asked me first so dont act like im the one being a weirdo about this
TG: second of all i didnt mean it like that and you know it
TG: THIRD of all what the hell was the point of engaging the knightly theatrics then if you cant even verify that shit
CG: WELL FUCK, SORRY DAVE! I GUESS I'M JUST A FUCKING ROMANCE ENTHUSIAST! I GUESS I GIVE A MAJOR SHIT ABOUT THE THING YOU'RE OPENLY MOCKING TO MY FACE! IS THAT SO IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR THOUGHT SPONGE AROUND?
CG: AND IT WAS COMPLETELY REASONABLE FOR ME TO ASK YOU THAT, YOU CONGEALED FETID NOOKSTAIN! MY STATUS ON THE MATTER HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POINT EITHER OF US IS TRYING TO MAKE.
CG: TRY TO KEEP YOUR NUGBONE FROM CAVING IN ON ITSELF WHEN I DROP THIS BOMBSHELL: I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS ON THINGS I ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT, EVEN IF I HAVEN'T DONE THEM! I DON'T JUST GO TROUNCING THE FUCK ABOUT LOBBING MY UNFOUNDED OPINIONS AT PEOPLE LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. UNLIKE SOMEONE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE INVOLVED IN THIS CONVERSATION WE'RE HAVING RIGHT NOW!
TG: youre
CG: I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU BY THE WAY. THE SOMEONE IS YOU.
TG: oh gimme a break
TG: bro youre going apeshit over something you havent even done
TG: you know what that sounds like to me it sounds like an overcompensating fake fan who doesnt get any
TG: you heard of troll napoleon complex
CG: AT LEAST I ACTUALLY FORMED MY OPINION BASED ON CAREFUL CONSIDERATION --
TG: -- oh yeah i bet huh
CG: -- INSTEAD OF JUST BANKING ON NUBJERK --
TG: -- not a real thing you just said
CG: -- REACTIONS AND WRINKLING MY SNIFF NUB AT ANY SIGNS OF GENUINE PHYSICAL INTIMACY!
TG: stop saying nub
CG: YOU EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BULGEWAD
TG: not too much worse than being a perpetual fountain of emotional diarrhea
CG: DON'T YOU DARE.
CG: DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO USE THAT AS A "GOTCHA", YOU--… YOU! FUCK!
TG: dude did you actually run out of insults
TG: okay this is getting concerning
TG: youre the international dude of verbal dunks
TG: that can not be happening
CG: AAGHRJRGHJRGRHJAGHRJGRHJAGRHJRGRHJRGRHRJR
TG: you cant run out of em youre like the ultimate peddler of hate
CG: YOU DON'T THINK I'M CRITICALLY AWARE OF THE HOOFBEASTSHIT I'M SPEWING NIGH FUCKING CONSTANTLY?! I AM PAINFULLY COGNIZANT OF HOW MORONIC EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS!!!!
TG: feel like ive done some damage here
CG: ESPECIALLY MYSELF!
TG: alright bud time to calm down
CG: YOU CALM DOWN!!!!
TG: okay whatever!
CG: WHATEVER!!!!!!!!
TG: jeez
TG: here
CG: UGH.
TG: yeah
TG: really glad stuff like this happens in private
CG: YEAH. SAME HERE.
CG: JEGUS, CAN WE GO BACK TO BEFORE WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION? I DON'T ASK YOU MANY FAVORS, SO SURELY YOUR SLURRY OF ILL-DEFINED TIME POWERS CAN ALLOW YOU TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
CG: JUST LIKE, WIPE THAT WHOLE THING OFF THE SLATE.
CG: LET'S START OVER. SAY, FIVE MINUTES AGO. HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
TG: what conversation?
CG: OKAY, GOTCHA.
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would i be the asshole for contacting my ex to ask them if they could stop talking about me online to a community that knows who i am? (🥐)
tw: kinda emotionally abusive relationship
bg info
me (24f) and my ex (28) were in a three month relationship three years ago following a whole year of friendship. they were my first partner and i came out as a lesbian to everyone during our relationship. when we were together, they were 24 and i was 20. i was very emotionally dependent on them when i was 20 due to mental health issues and so were they which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship was as explosive as it was. i looked up to them, my whole emotional world revolved around them, and our friendship/relationship was the only thing i had in my life at the time. they constantly asked me "hey is it even ethical that im dating you, im 4 years older, you tell me please, oh i feel like such a bad person", yet, they still continued dating me every time they would ask.
our fights were horrible and truly explosive as they broke their stuff in front of me out of anger, threw things at me and insulted me as stupid, amongst many other things. our fights usually ensued because i would ask them for reassurance and they would start panicking and screaming at me to shut up. to be fair, i would cry every time i was asking for reassurance which probably made them feel scared about losing me, so i consider myself 50% at fault for everything that happened in our relationship, i shouldve been able to talk to them in a secure manner that wouldnt trigger their abandonment issues. our fights were quite jarring and made me walk out on them several times out of fear. yet i always came back and apologized and took the whole accountability, even though i dont consider myself the only one at fault. walking out several times during fights was probably one of the worst things i could have done but at the same time i was simply scared. even when i walked out after our last fight, they begged me to come back, which i did, i apologized under tears, and yet, told them that i cant promise them to stay no matter what.. and left.
we met through tumblr and were in a medium distance relationship. after our relationship, i went to a clinic and had to learn a lot about myself, what i experienced and what i want from life. im in a very happy and healthy place now and since the end of 2021 im with my current partner whom i want to be the love of my life and whom ive started to build a life with.
context
i have my ex blocked on all social media because they used to do hour long deep dives into my blog, even as of recently (i have statcounter installed for my safety bc im paranoid about them sending me anonymous asks). at first i also used to visit their blog after our break up but stopped doing so after moving on with my life. one year after breaking up i temporarily unblocked them and explicitly asked them not to look at my social media (or at least to do it in a way in which i dont notice aka asked them not to watch my instagram stories).
while i dont visit their blog/social media because i dont want to know whats going on in their life, tumblr mutuals frequently dm me stuff like "hey i think you should know that your ex posted about you/shit talks about something that you posted". i havent asked my mutuals to tell me whenever this happens but i imagine they do so because within the tumblr space we exist, everyone kind of knows everyone (so my ex doesnt have to mention my name for people to know who theyre talking about). sometimes mutuals send screenshots of the posts so that i dont have to visit my ex's blog. last ive heard my ex joked about throwing jewelry at me and posted extensively about a tattoo that i got. my ex's behavior makes me uncomfortable and feel just as helpless as i did back then.
why i might be the asshole
im scared that they might be venting because i was more at fault in the relationship than them and that i am unconsciously deflecting. however, i talked about every detail of the relationship and this fear extensively with my therapist, friends, and partner who are of the opinion that i was young, scared, and intertwined in a relationship that was incredibly toxic. im still unsure though because my emotions frequently triggered theirs.
why they might be the asshole
i asked them once to stop visiting my social media and i feel like venting about our relationship that broke off 3 years ago to a tumblr community of friends and acquaintances is kind of unfair. however, i might be the asshole and they might just need the space for venting. i could just ignore the vents and let them heal in their own way from what ensued.
WIBTA if i confronted them again and told them that i want them to stop talking about me online? or would i be a party pooper because every person needs a space for venting?
What are these acronyms?
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astroyongie · 3 months
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Riize February Reading 2024
Note: please take it lightly
Shotaro
Love: Shotaro is still dating the idol he was dating in the December reading. Things are going well, the relationship is healthy and there isnt much to say about it at the moment. Since December nothing changed 
Career: one thing I have noticed for every Riize member while shuffling is that the career for them are a meeting a set back. When it comes to Shotaro, he was very disappointed with the new rules the company gave them and he is rather upset with the change of plans for this year. 
Self: despite the chaotic moment of the career, he is okay. Shotaro have been talking more with people around him, he isnt isolating myself anymore and the support of his partner has been proven to be positive on his behavior 
Eunseok
Love: like you guys know, he came out of a relationship around October/November. Still now, things are complicated and his heart is aimlessly roaming without a clear path. I think he is still healing and trying to forget the feelings he had for that person
Career: he was probably the only member that was happy with the new schedules for Riize and the change of plans and concept. Eunseok’s sponsorship will also work to put him under the spotlight 
Self: he is a little upset because of the argument he had with one of the members. This was mostly due to career and the competition they have between them. Eunseok got really upset with the fact that he lost an opportunity to this other member
Sungchan
Love: the way he is coping with his love life is extremely unhealthy. Sungchan has been having behaviors that could be unhealthy and harm him. Although he does that because he just want to forget about his own heartache, he isnt doing things correctly. Some people could get hurt around him too
Career: needless to say, for him the companies choice for the group this year is shit. He feels like the group will go through stagnation because of it which makes him white annoyed. 
Self: currently he is going through a very complicated moment. Physically and emotionally he isnt okay (this is probably due to the behaviors mention above). Sungchan should be careful with his health or there will be a possible hiatus for him if he keeps this up.                    
Wonbin
Love: whatever relationship he had in December, they finished a couple of days before. The person took the decision to leave Wonbin after a mistake that he has made. He is very disappointed  on himself but also on this ex because he thought that they would fight for it 
Career: he is scared that the news schedules will but the group into a lighter spotlight. Wonbin truly believes that the company is stupid for making such marketing decisions for them 
Self: other than that, he is feeling very confident with himself. Despite the setbacks, Wonbin is someone that knows his worth and he acts like the “leader” when it comes to his own choices. 
Seunghan
Love: he is still single and he isnt seeking for any realtionsho at the moment, since he knows he can’t get someone of his “league” while he has an issue with his long term success that is currently limited 
Career: he is so exhausted and sad. Seunghan wants to come back but the company havent given him any green light for the moment. Seunghan feels overwhelmed with everything that has been happening around him and he is truly upset about it 
Self: as expected, his mood is rather low. I think he is rather on the sad side lately, mostly because he feels like he has worked hard for nothing. He needs to take care of his mental health
Sohee
Love: he is still dating, but lately he has been more focused on himself than on his partner. Sohee is been a little self centered and focused on his career. I dont know what his partner thinks about it
Career: like the others, he is pissed. Sohee is also kind of scared about the new concepts and the new turn the group needs to take for this year, because he doesnt know if people will take it well 
Self: focused on himself like I said and on his own well being. Everything that is happening around him and with other people, isnt of his concern at the moment 
Anton
Love: I believe that Anton is in a complicated situation where he got rejected by someone but where he also rejected someone who confessed to him. He is feeling a little overwhelmed when it comes to the heart 
Career: he thinks that the whole new concept is boring as hell and he doesnt like it at all. Although it is his work to do his best, Anton isnt doing the new schedules with joy 
Self: he has been dealing with some set backs. Emotionally he is scared of the future and he has been having some troubles to sleep as well due to anxiety 
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01zfan · 2 months
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wow you guys…i hit 1000 followers sometime this week! im sorry for not noticing earlier but wow im so grateful!
i seriously didn’t expect this account to even break 100. i was just writing as a little escape from my normal life. i got into riize pretty recently after losing interest in kpop as a whole for a really long time. i was a carat and nctzen (a fan of many groups, ive been into kpop since 2014 ish) but lost interest and just kinda focused on myself for a long time. i finished school, made friends, started working, started going to school AGAIN, picked up hobbies, moved away from my hometown to pursue my passion, etc.
i kinda thought that part of my life was over but riize literally stole my heart from the moment i got into them. i havent felt this way about a group for a long time and one day it just got a little too much so i wrote about separate fics for my top two (eunseok and sungchan). and you guys liked it! and you guys wanted more! and you guys commented on it and sent me asks hyping up my writing! and you guys followed me! and reblogged my stuff! and now we are here!
seriously would’ve never thought i’d have so many receptive, sweet, and sincere interactions on the stuff i write. i was seriously expecting to speak into the void like i’ve seen happen with alot of writers for fandoms. i write screenplays and sometimes its hard to remember why i like writing so much. you guys reminded me why i want to write for the rest of my life. we fangirl and talk about it together and have built a community over shared love and words. isn’t that so wonderful? i want to repay it back with good alot of good writing ^^
if you’ve been here since third and/or bad idea, right i want to say i love you so much seriously. i remember the accounts of the first people to ever follow me and comment on my stuff. i recognize the users of people who silently support me and i love you guys too heh.
if you’ve ever sent me a request thank you for giving me inspiration! i’m a big believer that on this earth one of the few things that belong to us and us alone are our ideas. it’s something no one can take from you—so thank you for giving me something so precious and trusting me to do it justice. i hope to continue making you guys happy! and if you just followed me, welcome!! i have alot of stuff to read and i plan on releasing more!
i’m working on argue with you pt three (planning on that dropping on wednesday!) and other stuff, like requests and sacrilegious so i have alot of stuff coming! thank you for your patience and thank you again so much for following me and supporting this account. you are all so special and dear to meeeeee :3. lets continue to love riize and fangirl togetherrrrr.
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yeonjunszn · 1 year
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like hot summer ☼
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pairing park sunghoon x f!reader
word count 8k
genres fluff﹒slight angst ﹒smut
warnings 18+ minors dni, mature language, best friends to lovers trope, sharing a bed/room trope, insufferable heeseung + slightly less insufferable jake, features enha jay, txt beomgyu, taehyun, and huening + skz jeongin, also features nct dream, i’m so sorry for doing u so dirty jisung 💔, mentions of alcohol, hoon is kinda mean for like a singular second, vaginal fingering, marking?, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it 😒), finishing inside, Lots of Kissing, they’re kinda gross at the end like i made myself mad with how cute they were being so of course i had to ruin it… u’ll see 😇
summary you’ve been best friends for years now, so why does the idea of sharing a room with him get you so flustered?
more HAPPY 900 FOLLOWERS!! thank u guys so much for giving me this platform to write even if it is for boys who have no idea i exist 😭 writing has always been something very dear to me since a young age and i’m so grateful for being able to get this far on this site. i’ve had an issue with reach in the past and this blog has been nothing but kind to me. i’m forever indebted to all of u and my future followers 🫶 here’s a small token of my appreciation — i havent written anything nsfw since ? march ? i believe 💀 so i apologize if this is rough.. it was originally a vernon fic before i decided not to write for svt anymore and i actually started it in july 😭😭 which is why it’s another summer based fic LMFAOAOAO anyways it was supposed to be like 5k and i got carried away so here u go <3
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“please do not take those with you.”
you look up from the suitcase you were stuffing clothes in, a pair of your most comfortable underwear currently in your hands. heeseung gives you a dissatisfied look, standing from his spot in your desk chair to snatch them and throw the garment behind him.
“okay? what the hell?” you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.
“we’re going on a trip where you’ll most likely be meeting new people. i don’t think you want to be dressed like a grandma when you do.” he explains with an eye roll, as if it was obvious.
“first of all, rude, they’re cute. second of all, i don’t plan on sleeping around,” you frown, glancing behind him at your poor underwear on the floor. “i should’ve just asked hoon to help me pack. you suck.”
“i’m pretty sure he’d also tell you to ditch the granny-panties.” he shrugs, sitting back on the rolling chair.
“n-no! i wouldn’t have even let him see me packing my undergarments.” you say defensively.
“you’ve been best friends this long and he’s never seen your underwear at least once? what makes me so special.” the brunette snorts.
“you’re… you.”
he gasps in feign offense, slapping his chest. “what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“don’t take it personally! i’d probably let jake see my underwear too,” you defend your words, rifling through your clothes to make sure everything you needed was good to go. when you glance up at heeseung, he has a grimace on his face and you realize what you just said. “stop it! i meant because i see you both like brothers, so it wouldn’t be weird.”
“there are two things to be discussed here; one being the fact that you’d let bitchless, has never felt the touch of a woman in his life, jake sim, see your underwear— even if you think of him as a brother. and two being the fact that sunghoon is somehow different despite knowing him the same amount of time as us.” he raises an eyebrow as you turn to your dresser in search for a pair of replacement panties, since he so graciously tossed aside your favorites, then zip your suitcase shut.
with a grunt, you lug the thing off your bed, checking your appearance in the mirror since you were getting picked up soon. you peek over your shoulder at the brunette, narrowing your eyes. “i hope you know that you’re the absolute bane of my existence, lee heeseung.”
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a couple hours later you find yourself sipping on a margarita, poolside at the airbnb you and your friends were renting. the beach was within walking distance, but you didn’t feel like going so you stayed back by yourself. you didn’t mind it at all, because it was probably the only chance you’d get to be alone in a house full of boys.
nine of you crammed into a single house was not ideal, especially considering you were the only girl in your group, but you planned this trip every year. loud, gross, and annoying antics aside, you loved them more than anything. (except maybe when they asked you to set any of them up with one of your girl friends.)
you also felt like you needed a bit of reprieve before you called it a night, since you weren’t given the privilege of your own room this time. all of you made the grave mistake of putting beomgyu in charge of booking the airbnb and his dumbass forgot until about a month ago, when he scrambled to find something within everyone’s standards and big enough to accommodate your large party. and while he was able to secure something, it did mean you’d have to have a roommate.
everyone agreed that it’d be okay if it was just you and one other person to respect your boundaries. rooming arrangements varied from year to year depending on how you decided, but this was the first time you were included. the boys got straight into it the moment you all set foot on the property, arguing in the front yard while you figured out how to work the keypad on the door. due to your ignorance to their shenanigans, you didn’t know who your temporary roommate was until the whole ordeal was a done deal.
before anything was set in stone, there was a unanimous choice to give you and whoever you ended up with the master bedroom, because none of them wanted you biting their heads off for hogging the bathroom. in the first room (the one next to the master), was heeseung, beomgyu, and jeongin, delegated by a game of rock paper scissors. by some miracle or just sheer dumb luck, the three idiots wound up together and celebrated by hugging in a circle and jumping around like elementary schoolers. the second room went to jay, jake, taehyun, and kai. this left one person— park sunghoon.
had you participated in the actual game, you would’ve started a riot to switch roommates. hell, you’d even share a room with jake, and that said everything about how you were feeling towards this situation.
it’s not that you didn’t want to room with sunghoon, per se, it was more like you were afraid to room with him. he was decently calm and an easy person to get along with for the most part. except his ability to tease you in any situation lit a fire under you. his jokes that would seem belittling to anyone else felt flirty and it drove you crazy. all of the guys in your friend group were good looking, but you always found yourself gravitating more towards sunghoon. (besides, you could never in a million years see yourself making out with someone like taehyun; who you thought was quite honestly prettier than you or beomgyu; who enjoyed personally talking your ear off every opportunity he got.)
when the boys finally come back from the beach, the sun has set and you, yourself, had just returned from picking up dinner. the nine of you ate with comfortable conversation here and there, exhausted from the long day you just had, before drawing the evening to a close.
you feel awkward trudging up the stairs to your room with sunghoon in tow, like if you say the wrong thing you’ll alter the entire course of your friendship. he tells you that you can shower first and so you do, but halfway through, you realize you forgot to grab you clothes on the way in. you curse at yourself as you rinse your body wash, switching off the water.
you wrap your towel around yourself timidly, well aware that it’s the only thing stopping sunghoon from seeing your bare body. with a gulp, you reach for the door handle, pushing it open slowly. he’s sat on the edge of the bed scrolling through his phone, uninformed of your presence. you kneel down to your suitcase to quickly grab what you need so you can rush back into the bathroom and change, but the universe hates you and doesn’t think it should be that easy.
“shit shit shit shit,”
you frantically sift through your clothes after getting your undergarments, only for your pajamas to be missing. you remember packing them and you know heeseung was there when you—
you were going to murder lee heeseung.
fuck him and his overt desire to make your life a living hell. first there was the underwear thing and now this. did he not think your care bear pajamas were cute enough to bring on this trip? either way, you couldn’t wait to strangle him, your fingers wiggling in anticipation.
“hey, is everything okay?” sunghoon’s voice calls out, pulling you away from your nefarious plotting. your eyes widen almost comically because you’re still very much naked under your towel and you don’t have clothes to sleep in.
“uh— i— i think i forgot to pack— i mean— i can’t find my pajamas.” you admit shamefully, too embarrassed to look up at him.
the bed creaks lightly, notifying you that he got up. you stand from your crouched position, careful not to accidentally flash him. he rummages through his own suitcase, spinning around to toss a t-shirt at you. you catch it with your free hand and your cheeks are still impossibly warm. you’re not sure if your mind is playing tricks on you, or if he really did rake his vision over your figure.
your heart is racing mortifyingly fast so you give him a tight lipped smile and raise your hand in thanks, bringing it back down just as fast when you think about the fact that you were holding your underwear in the same hand.
you think that’s the fastest you’ve ever run away from something, leaning back against the door while pressing the back of your palm to your forehead, your chest heaving. confidence wasn’t a weakness to you and it pissed you off to no end that it seemed to be only when sunghoon was around that you acted like a complete clown.
there was no chance of you surviving this trip.
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the following day, you and the boys had gone out for an early lunch. because you were such a big group, they split you into two different tables. yours consisted of jake, heeseung, beomgyu, and jeongin. the entire time you kept your glare on the brunette sitting directly across from you, even as you shoveled rice into your mouth.
“woah, y/n. if looks could kill, hee would be dead by now.” jake laughs, pointing at you with his chopsticks.
“good,” you say flatly. “that’s what i want.”
heeseung looks thoroughly offended by your statement, clicking his tongue in response. “i don’t know why you hate me so much.”
“oh really?” you ask with a small scoff, sarcasm leaking through your words.
“what’d he do?” beomgyu snorts, flicking his eyes between you and heeseung curiously.
you don’t take your eyes off of the latter, rather you give him an even harsher stare than before. you squint slightly, crossing your legs and leaning back into your chair. “he was with me when i was packing my clothes yesterday and when i went to change after i got out of the shower last night, my pajamas were missing. and i swear i packed them. i even double checked my suitcase.”
jeongin purses his lips and raises his eyebrows. “the care bear pajamas?”
“the care bear pajamas!” you exclaim.
“wow, heeseung, it’s like you’re asking to be suffocated with a pillow in your sleep.”
“that was such an oddly specific cause of death.”
“wait a damn minute! how do you even know it was me? why are you just assuming shit like that?” he defends, picking up his hands like he’s innocent of all crimes. jake holds back a laugh at his reaction and jeongin gives him a deadpan expression.
“why are you being so defensive about it? clearly that means it was you.”
“i agree! i know this is apart of his stupid ‘get-y/n-laid’ agenda. what if i don’t wanna get laid?!” you flail your arms exasperatedly.
beomgyu holds up a finger to halt you, scrunching his eyebrows together. “everyone wants to get laid. you’re no exception.”
you narrow your gaze at him as if to say ‘not helping’ and he shuts up, squeezing his lips together. if there was anything he could’ve said in that moment, that was not it. especially not when you were trying to prove your case. you were an independent woman! you didn’t need to sleep around if you didn’t want to! (you did, with a specific person, but that's besides the point.)
“so what’d you end up wearing to sleep?” jeongin asks, resting his chin in his palm before gasping. “wow, n/n, sunghoon got to see you half naked?”
“no! he lent me a shirt!” you dispute frantically.
“boring,” jake drags out the o. “i think i have an extra you can borrow for tonight if you don’t wanna wear that one again.”
“please, you’re a lifesaver, jake,” you clasp your hands together. “unlike someone by the name of lee heeseung, who’s currently on my hit list. you better sleep with one eye open by the way.”
“could you be a little quiet with it though? i share a room with him.” beomgyu throws in.
“don’t worry, gyu. i've been googling different ways that would be silent, quick, and successful.” you fist bump him, before resuming your eating.
“i don’t get why you’re not groveling at my feet and thanking me right now. i did you a favor, you know,” heeseung huffs, his words slightly muffled by the food filling his mouth. “you get to keep his shirt and sleep in the same bed as him. isn’t that a win?”
“i don’t like him like that, seung.” you say a bit harsher than you intended. the table grows quiet at your outburst, even if they all speculate that you’re lying. the silence causes the other table to look over in concern.
whether you’re just extremely unlucky, or the gods actually think you’re a waste of a human being, you don’t know, but things keep screwing up in your favor. you make accidental eye contact with sunghoon, whose lips are slightly turned downward when he sees how distressed you appear.
it pisses you off.
it pisses you off because all you want to do is kiss those same lips until you can’t breathe. you want him to press them all over your skin, making you hot and bothered. you want him to whisper sweet sweet nothings into your ear and pepper little smooches along the shell of it with them. it pisses you off because you know he doesn’t feel the same.
and it’s so fucking annoying.
you’re probably the only girl he’d never see that way, thanks to the long history you share. you’ll always be another one of the guys to him. you’re someone he knows will be there for him to fall back on when a talking stage fails. you’re someone he knows will sit there and listen to his tales of how he got his dick wet, listen to his bragging.
it should deter your feelings, honestly. not only due to the fact that you have no chance with him, but because he was your best friend. you shouldn’t be mad at him for treating you as such. except you can’t help that you are.
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after lunch, the group decided you might as well have another beach day, seeing as it was within walking distance from the airbnb. since you weren’t much of a beach fan (you hated the salty air and, even worse, the sand), the boys allowed you to pick the activity for the night.
there was a club you passed by on your way back from the restaurant that looked intriguing, so that was what you landed on.
you watched your friends mess around by the water as you stayed planted on a beach towel under an umbrella, sunglasses perched on the bridge of your nose. your body weight rested on your palms as you leaned back, soaking up the warmth on your skin. your cute white, shimmery bikini was a head turner, guys staring as they walked by you, ogling at your sunbathing.
you half hoped someone would just go up to you instead of drooling from afar, but at the same time, the thought of a stranger approaching you made you nervous. though, it would provide a decent distraction.
you try to act surprised when someone finally takes the bait.
he’s an attractive guy, you’ll admit, with dark hair that falls onto his forehead, slightly in his eyes which are also obscured by a pair of sunglasses. he ruffles it a bit before dropping himself on the sand beside you. he doesn’t talk for a few minutes, just copying your actions.
a small smile makes way onto your lips at his nonchalance and you turn to face him, pushing your shades up on top of your head. he does the same, giving you his own smile. now that you have a full view of his features, you can 100% say that he’s indeed handsome.
with an extended hand, he says, “hi, i’m park jisung.”
you return the gesture, shaking it with a firm grip. “l/n y/n.”
“wow, pretty name for a pretty girl. your parents must’ve known what they were doing.” he flirts with a laugh, almost like it’s second nature for him.
you can’t hide how bashful the compliment makes you, a tiny giggle bubbling from your chest. the bikini gave you a confidence boost when you put it on, but despite that, you were still you. so hearing little things like that always made you shy, especially because you weren’t used to it. how could you? being friends with a bunch of boys and all, guys never really cared to look in your direction.
“do you say that to every girl you meet, park jisung?” you manage to tease back, proud of yourself for recovering so quickly.
his smile morphs into a grin, his teeth peeking through his lips, and his eyes crinkle at the sides. “nope. just the really pretty ones.”
you tilt your chin into your shoulder as you feel heat spread across your cheeks. how was this guy so smooth? it’s like he knew exactly what you wanted/needed to hear and kept saying it.
when you compose yourself, you continue your conversation with jisung. it’s comfortable, even if you’d never met him before today, and it feels like you’ve known him for a while. you learn that he’s also on a trip with his friends, the six of them stationed just a few umbrellas over to your left. (he groans when you catch them spying on the two of you.) then he tells you that he noticed you earlier and his friends had finally convinced him to shoot his shot.
“you know, if you’d come up to me sooner, i would’ve been a lot less bored,” you sigh, scooting a little closer to him. “my friends have been ignoring me since we got here and i fucking hate the beach.”
he chuckles at that, subtly brushing his fingers against yours. “sorry about that. i guess you’re glad i saved the day, huh?”
“very,” you link your pinkie with his. “so, we’re going out later tonight to some club called allure? i think? it’d be really cool if you went, just saying. you can bring your friends.”
“that sounds like fun. maybe you’ll see us there,” he shrugs, nudging your foot with his. “depends on how bad you wanna see me.”
“nooo, don’t do me like that, jisung,” you whine halfheartedly, covering your face with your free hand. “i would like to see you there, but i don’t wanna beg.”
jisung laughs at how cute you are, poking your cheek with a nod. “okay okay, you convinced me. i’ll tell the guys.”
“okay, cool.” you breathe, tangling your fingers with his as you both stare at each other goofily. you almost lean in, the gap between you only disrupted by a centimeter, but then a throat clears itself and you jump apart.
it seemed that the guys all finally noticed you weren’t alone and decided to pay attention to you. you make eye contact with sunghoon and feel a shudder run down your spine, trying your hardest to conceal it.
“hey, y/n, who’s this?” he asks, albeit passively.
“oh, this is jisung. him and his friends are gonna meet us at the club tonight!” you give him a tight lipped smile, glancing over to gauge jisung’s reaction. he doesn’t look too fazed by their presence, instead standing up so he could introduce himself to each of them.
you sputter at the action, surprised that he was so willing to be buddy-buddy with the boys. you assume it’s because he isn’t too intimidated by them, considering they’d been ignorant toward your presence until now.
after he’s done, he turns to you and puffs his cheeks, blowing air between his lips. “i guess i better get going. i’ll see you later?”
“mhm,” you rub his arm. “see you tonight, ji.”
the nickname makes him grin and he ruffles your hair before bidding you all a goodbye. your eyes follow as he walks over to his friends, who are fist bumping in celebration of his success with you. your smile doesn’t go away as you look back at your own friends.
jake jumps up and down, shaking you aggressively by the shoulders. “y/n, holy shit! rizz master or what?”
beomgyu and jeongin burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, falling into each other as you roll your eyes. jake would be the one to use such a gen z term at his age. “please never call me that again.”
“well jakey, looks like she won’t need your shirt tonight after all. chances are she’ll use jisung’s instead.” heeseung jokes, smacking your arm playfully.
you cover your face with both hands to shelter how embarrassed they’re making you feel. rule number one for being best friends with a bunch of boys— don’t. they’re nothing but menaces. and if you happen to acquire a friend group of just males— don’t let them meet your significant other.
as you wrap up your day at the beach, so you could head back to the airbnb to get ready for your night out, you realize sunghoon is keeping to himself a lot. and you don’t know what to make of that.
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you feel like a million bucks if you’re being completely honest with yourself. you packed one of the nicest dresses you owned in case you needed it and you were so glad you did. it would’ve been awkward rolling up to the club in shorts and a bikini top— though you’re sure management has probably seen that before.
it was gold and sparkly, with spaghetti straps and a lace-up back, low cut enough that it was cute rather than overly revealing. you styled your hair to preference and kept the makeup simple, soft glam that didn’t distract from the outfit. this was the prettiest you felt in weeks— months even— and it was a comforting change of pace.
when you step out of the bathroom, sunghoon is laying on his back on the bed, scrolling through his phone. the sound of your heels clacking on the wooden floor forces him to sit up. “how long does it take to—?”
his words die out once he sees you, his throat going dry and his stomach tightening with an incessant knot. you look so gorgeous, it almost makes him angry that it’s not for him. never in your seven years of friendship has he ever seen you put this much effort in your appearance. (he thinks that’s why he feels himself getting worked up.)
“woah, missy, you’re not leaving the house looking like that. where’s your coat?” he raises an eyebrow, masking the icky feeling brewing inside of him.
“hoon, it’s like a hundred degrees out. we’re in the middle of a heatwave at the peak of the summer, the fuck do i need a coat for?” you counter with a scoff, shoving your phone and some lip gloss along with your credit card and ID in the little clutch you were taking with you.
“i’m just saying,” he shrugs. “you’re practically wearing a piece of cloth, you might get cold.”
“shut up, i’ll be fine.” you snort, exiting the room and leaving him scrambling for control of himself.
the rest of the guys are already waiting downstairs, whistling and hollering once you reach the bottom of the steps. jake tells you to do a little twirl, cheering you on like he was best friends with bella hadid or something. (you won't admit that it fuels your ego.)
“where’s sunghoon?” jay asks crouching to see if he was visible from where he was standing.
“i don’t know, but he’s being weird. my vote is we leave without him.” taehyun holds up a finger, pursing his lips as if he was being totally serious about his suggestion. you laugh at his expression, flicking his forehead.
“don’t be mean, tyun.”
a couple minutes later, sunghoon finally makes his way downstairs, looking conflicted about something. as much as you wanna ask, you know you shouldn’t get into it right now, so you choose not to.
jisung and his group are already at the club when you arrive and he waves you over to the high tables they secured. he introduces you to his six friends; mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, and chenle. once you’ve met them, the two of you introduce your own friends to each other. it makes you happy that they seem to hit it off, breaking off into smaller cliques.
you and jisung wander off to the bar, ordering some drinks for yourselves. he helps you sit at one of the stools, his hand resting comfortably on your lower back. it doesn’t take long for the bartender to hand you your poison for the night and you take a gulp with a wince, letting the alcohol burn in its course down your throat.
“you look really good, by the way,” jisung compliments, his thumb rubbing circles into the skin that peeks through the straps in the back of your dress. “i didn’t get to tell you when you got here.”
his mouth brushes your ear as he speaks so you can hear him over the booming top forties music playing. there’s not nearly enough alcohol in your system to warrant the heat blooming under your skin so soon. you just giggle in response, spinning in your chair so you’re facing him. you hold your straw between two fingers as you sip at your beverage, looking up at him through thick lashes coated in mascara.
“you’re really something else, y/n,” he shakes his head, downing the rest of his drink before you return to your friends. “i’m gonna use the restroom, i’ll be right back.”
you nod with a smile when he pets your head, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. it catches you off guard, but you don’t mind it one bit. at least someone was interested in you for once.
heeseung squeezes his way through the crowd to you and narrows his eyes, taking a hold of either side of your head. your cheeks squish together and your lips form a pout, so no matter how annoyed you try to come across, you just look silly. your attempts to get him off of you are futile, making you raise a brow to find out why he was being so touchy-feely.
“i still cannot believe you managed to make moves while you were alone. i literally never saw this coming.”
god, lee heeseung was such a lightweight.
“can you stop being sentimental? it’s kinda gross.” you grimace, your words mushed together much like your cheeks. it’s at this point that jake decides to join in, throwing his arms around your shoulders.
(jake sim was also a lightweight.)
“i love you guys! i’m so glad we’re here together right now!”
you spot jisung coming back from the restroom, pleading for him to save you with your eyes. he laughs and inserts himself in the conversation. “i appreciate you guys watching over y/n for me while i was gone, but do you think i can steal her back?”
“i guess,” jake sighs dramatically, dragging out the s. “but you better bring her back in one piece, park.”
jisung salutes to the brunette, even if he wasn’t at all intimidated by his overprotective parent persona, and whisks you away to get more drinks and then to hit the dance floor. the moment your foot reaches the tiled ground, a summer walker song starts, and all coherent thoughts leave your mind.
you keep one arm wrapped around jisung’s neck as you begin to sway your hips with the music, taking swigs of your drink every now and then. his is long forgotten in favor of gripping your waist like you’d run away any second. you have him wrapped around your finger, the way he’s fixated on you and your movements has your head spinning. but when you glance towards the general direction all of your friends were in, you accidentally make eye contact with none other than park sunghoon.
he’s glaring right at you, making no attempt to hide the distaste on his features while he watches you dance. you keep the eye contact when jisung leans into your neck, his nose grazing the sensitive spot just below your ear.
usually you’d fold then and there, crumbling in his hands and letting him take you home for the night. but there’s something about the darkness in sunghoon’s gaze that sends a shiver down your spine, not the person you were currently grinding into on the dance floor. it sends your mind into a frenzy.
your blissful ignorance to the amount of attraction you truly felt for him was causing more problems than solving them. here you were, a nice guy treating you like an absolute princess, but still thirsting after one of your best friends with not a single ounce of fucking shame. years of pent up frustration and insufferable pining bubble over, and you don’t stop yourself from what you’re about to do next.
you pull back from jisung, finally breaking the staring contest between you and sunghoon, and smile at him, pushing some hair out of his eyes. he gives you a look of utter confusion and you huff. “i’m sorry, but i’m feeling a little tired. i think the drinks are getting to me.”
“do you want me to drop you off at your place?” he asks, so sweetly it actually makes you feel bad about your true intentions. you shake your head ‘no’.
“it’s okay, you can stay here with your friends. i’ll just ask one of the boys,” you respond, patting his cheek. “one of the sober ones.”
“alright, if you insist. just be careful and text me later, yeah?” he gives you that award winning grin that made you weak at the knees just moments ago. this time you don’t give him a verbal response, too afraid of your voice betraying you.
you still don’t say anything as you grab your clutch from the table where your group was at, flickering your vision to sunghoon once before you walk out of the club. the air is cooler than this afternoon, serving as a nice contrast to your warm, sticky skin. your ears are still ringing from the blaring music and you’re pleasantly buzzed, but you feel great.
the sound inside the club travels outside for a second when the door opens and closes, signaling that someone had just walked out. you don’t want to risk the backwards glance in case it’s not who you’re hoping it is and you feel dumb. you opt to stare at the cars passing on the street, hugging yourself.
there’s the ghost of a touch on the small of your back and a broad chest pressed to your shoulders, causing you to jump slightly. “ditched that dude finally?”
you swallow thickly, his deep voice reverberating in your bones. “and if i did?”
sunghoon chuckles, his fingers dancing around the knot of your dress. “then i won’t have to feel like an asshole for what i’m about to do to you.”
you squeak as he starts to push you in the direction of the airbnb, your feet carrying you as fast as you can with your heels. the walk is silent except for the clicking against the concrete sidewalk, but it’s heavy with tension. half of you wants to say something, to ask what’s even happening. you don’t even realize he’s punching the numbers into the keypad and pulling you into the house until you’re pinned to the shut door, nose skimming yours.
sunghoon has a desperate grip around your wrists, breathing like he’d just ran a marathon. you stare up at him with wide eyes. you’re not entirely sure what you were hoping for when you executed this plan, but this wasn’t anywhere near the list of outcomes. in fact, you were positive that park sunghoon didn’t feel any sort of attraction to you.
“hoon,” you gasp, tongue swiping across your bottom lip.
he grins, his canines peeking through those lips of his that looked so soft. “you look so pretty tonight, n/n. can’t believe i get to have you all to myself.”
your head feels empty, like there’s nothing but cotton filling your skull where your brain should be. this was something out of a dream for you, something you’d only ever seen in your darkest fantasies. you wanted him to kiss you so badly it was beginning to ache. your head tilts to the side just a bit, your eyes alternating between his mouth and his own.
“need you,” you whisper, voice airy. “‘ve been waiting for this for so long.”
he connects your lips at that, a burning fever behind his actions as he does so. the dizziness doesn’t go away, instead amplifying. he releases your wrists in favor of grabbing at your thighs, his blunt nails digging into the plush skin. you tangle your fingers in his hair and tug at the silky strands, forcing a groan out of him. kissing sunghoon is sickening. it’s exactly how they describe it in books, the stomach churning and the goosebumps and all. this morning, you never would’ve thought you’d be here, but you’re completely satisfied with this turn of events.
“bedroom,” he breathes. “don’t want anyone seeing you like this but me.”
he doesn’t have to tell you twice, your heels discarded at the bottom of the stairs. the minute you’re in your shared room, his mouth is hot on yours again and you’re collapsing on to the bed. his hands are everywhere and there’s too many clothes between you. you slide your hands under his shirt, grazing your nails along his abdomen, smiling when it tenses under your touch. he gets the memo, removing his shirt and tossing it haphazardly behind him. you fumble with the button of his jeans and he laughs at how needy you are, solidifying just how real this moment actually is.
you notice that he’s already hard once his pants are gone and you palm his bulge as you lean back in for another kiss. he sighs into your mouth, reaching around your back to untie the knot on your dress. the straps fall instantaneously, the front of the fabric slipping down to reveal your bare chest. sunghoon’s lips move from yours to your jaw and along the column of your neck until he’s at your chest, looking up at you as he leaves open mouthed kisses all over your tits. you moan softly when the warmth of his mouth envelopes a sensitive nipple, slipping your dress off all the way so you’re left in nothing but your panties.
he steps back for a second to kick the article of clothing away, before caging your body with his. “i’ve been wanting to get you out of that dress all night. it pissed me off that you didn’t put it on for me, but he doesn’t get to see you all fucked out untouched, now does he?”
you shake your head, but that doesn’t satisfy him. his thumb finds your clit through the thin material of your underwear, rubbing tight circles into it to get a reaction from you. your lips part and your eyes squeeze shut, but it’s not enough for him. he grabs your chin a little forcefully, smushing your cheeks together like heeseung did earlier— however there was nothing wholesome about this moment.
“i asked you a fucking question.” sunghoon all but growls.
“n-no, hoon. only you,” you whimper, his mean demeanor turning you on even more. you’re embarrassed by the wet patch forming on the front of your panties and deep deep down you’re thanking lee heeseung for throwing the other pair out of your suitcase. (very very very deep down— you’d never give him the benefit of being right.)
“that’s my good girl,” he hooks his fingers into the waistband, glancing at you for confirmation. “are we really going through with this? you can back out now.”
your heart thumps disgustingly loud in your ears at how sincere he sounds and you pray to god that he can’t hear it. “sunghoon, i’m laying half naked in front of you right now— if you don’t fuck me—”
“alright alright… you got it,” he laughs that cute laugh of his, the one he reserves solely for you. the one that has crows feet forming at the corners of his eyes. it drives you crazier than anything else he’s done the entire night.
sunghoon slides your underwear down your legs with one hand, the other propping himself up to hover over you. you kick them off, biting your lip and hissing when he decides to run a finger up your slit. he curses as he watches how your arousal coats the digit. all you’ve done is kiss and you’re dripping.
“you’re soaked, baby,” he practically groans, pecking your jaw. “gonna ruin your pussy so you know who you belong to.”
you whine when he thrusts a finger in without warning, quickly adding a second and massaging your swollen clit with the pad of his thumb. your head rolls back as moans and expletives spill from your mouth. sunghoon takes the opportunity to mark you as his, sucking and biting your neck and chest like he was a leech, ensuring bruises formed in his wake. he finds the sweet spot at your pulse point, curling his fingers at the same time he nips at it.
“f-fuck, right th-there, hoonie,” you mewl, instinctively spreading your legs wider.
at this rate, you don’t think you’ll last much longer.
you know he can tell too with the way he speeds up the pace of his fingers. you clench around them and he connects your lips once again, his tongue tangling with yours messily. it’s so sloppy and so aggressive, but it’s perfect. it’s so sunghoon.
he keeps working at you, kissing everywhere he can until he pushes the right buttons to make you fall apart in his hands. when he finally finds it— a little nibble to your earlobe— your back arches further into him, your moans uncontrollable and incomprehensible as your orgasm washes over you. the skill of his mouth and hands has you reeling from the experience knowing no one else could ever make you feel like this ever again.
once you’ve come down, he slowly pulls his fingers out, sucking them so he can taste you and all that you are. he groans before pressing a quick kiss to your lips. you sigh in content.
“if you cum like that just from my fingers, i can’t wait to see how you look with my cock,” he mutters into your mouth, evoking a whine out of you. “so gorgeous.”
sunghoon steps away to remove his underwear, revealing himself to you. you have to stop yourself from drooling, reaching out to stroke his length languidly. he hisses as he goes back in for another kiss, biting on your lower lip when your thumb swipes over the slit on his sensitive tip.
he drags you to the edge of the bed, pushing away your hands so he can guide himself to your entrance. “are you ready for me, baby?”
“mhm,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist to get him closer— if possible. “want you so bad, sunghoon.”
the sound of his name leaving your lips so filthily has the blood rushing from his brain to his dick even faster than before. he slips in easily, your arousal lubricating enough for him to bottom out almost completely. his balls slap against your ass when he does, his cock sheathed inside of you so far it’s like it’s poking your stomach.
his pace starts slow and consistent, his hips rocking into yours with timed thrusts that hit deep. your legs feel weak and your head is spinning, drunk off of his cock and how good it is. but it’s not satisfying you, you need more. you want more.
your heels dig into the dip of his lower back and you mewl, “faster, p-please.”
“anything for you, pretty girl.” he grunts, using one hand to grip your hip and the other to form a makeshift ponytail with your hair, tugging your head back so he can rest his forehead in the crook of your neck.
sunghoon angles his hips and pistons his cock into you quicker. each thrust is punctuated by his pelvis snapping into your own harshly and his fistful of your hair stinging your scalp. his hold on your waist is nearly bruising, but you don’t really care, too high from the pleasure he’s providing you. your moans raise in volume as you feel the band in your belly grow tighter.
your pussy clenches around him and he releases your hair in favor of rubbing tight circles into your clit. the stimulation of his cock driving in and out of you combined with his thumb on your most sensitive area has alarms blaring in your head as a warning for your second incoming orgasm. “i’m so so close, hoon, fuck— just like that,”
“c’mon baby, you can give it to me,” he coos, changing his angle again so he reaches that spongy spot in your cunt.
you swear you can see spots when it crashes onto you, your whole body spasming with the intensity of it. sunghoon prolongs your orgasm, still thrusting into you with a purpose. you know he’s closer to his edge too from how desperate he’s moving and the whines leaving his lips. you’re so sensitive it’s making you insane, but you allow him to keep abusing your pussy.
“where do you want me?” he asks breathily, his sweaty forehead sticking to your skin.
“inside,” you moan, your toes curling. “cum inside me, sunghoon,”
he just about loses it at that, fucking into you with everything he can manage and sinking his nails into the fat of your hips to hold you still. you’re overstimulated and your brain is foggy so you keep squirming around, involuntarily squeezing your walls around his length. it’s not too much later that he finally releases, painting your cunt with milky white ropes of cum.
he slumps forward once he’s given all he has to offer, his chest flat against yours while he attempts to regulate his breathing. the two of you lie there for a bit, recovering from what just happened. eventually he pulls out and disappears into the bathroom, only to return with a warm and damp washcloth seconds after. he hands it to you wordlessly and you awkwardly clean yourself up, wincing due to the acute sensitivity you were feeling. sunghoon sits beside you, naked and silent.
you think it’s funny how he was so confident not even ten minutes ago and now he’s acting like a shy teenager. you know you have to talk about the situation at hand and what it means for your relationship, but in this moment, the cloudiness of your head subsided, that fear of rejection has creeped back in. was it just a temporary lapse of judgment on his part? did he just feel attraction towards you because you dolled yourself up for once?
the insecurity rushes in like a tsunami wave and you want nothing more than to get out of here before you drown.
“i—”
“we—”
you both speak at the same time, cutting each other off before you can continue. he gestures for you to go first and you sigh, reaching for the t-shirt thrown over the bedpost from this morning. you slip it on, along with your discarded underwear, to hide your body, comparatively aware of how exposed you were. he follows suit, putting his underwear back on.
“i think i should sleep somewhere else tonight.” you say, your tone uneasy.
sunghoon’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “w-what? why?”
“it’s already awkward enough,” you avoid his eyes. “i don’t think sleeping in the same bed is gonna help.”
“i was just trying to put together the right words,” he explains, brows still furrowed. “i don’t wanna give you a half assed confession after we just had sex, y’know? you deserve something more intimate than that.”
you blink, thrown for a loop by his admission. well now you felt like an idiot.
“c-confession?” you stutter, resembling a cartoon character with your jaw on the ground.
“did you— did you think i was gonna treat this as a random hookup?” his lips form a frown, like he was offended by your assumption.
“um, yeah? i mean, you never really expressed any interest in me before tonight, sunghoon. you’ve only ever talked about other girls you’ve fucked around with. you can’t really blame me.” you play with the hem of the (his) t-shirt.
his hand finds its way under your chin, lifting it so you have to look at him. the glint in his eyes is soft and you will away the tears threatening to appear. “you really have no idea huh?”
“what are you talking about?” you sniffle.
“y/n, i’ve been in love with you for like five years. any time i’ve talked about another girl, it was to see whether or not you seemed bothered by it. did you actually think i felt nothing for you?” sunghoon snorts, wiping away a stray tear that rolls down your cheek.
“yeah,” you laugh, feeling a little silly for not knowing he liked you this entire time. “i guess i was blinded by my own emotions.”
“that’s why it made me mad that you were hitting it off so well with that jisung guy,” he holds one of your hands in his lap, caressing your knuckles with his thumb. “i kinda figured you felt the same, but i was starting to doubt it after that.”
“hoon, i was only doing that ‘cause i thought i had no chance with you,” you shake your head. “if you had told me sooner, all of this could’ve been prevented.”
“or if you told me sooner.” he adds with a shrug.
you lightly poke his chest with a playful eye roll. he smiles at you fondly and you think this is perfect. you weren’t expecting the night to go in this direction, but you definitely aren’t complaining. somehow you feel like heeseung is to thank, in an odd way. (you’d never let him know that though.)
“can i kiss you again? for real this time?” sunghoon asks, scooting a little closer to you on the bed.
you nod, leaning into him so you can connect your lips in a sweet kiss. it’s not full of hunger or desire, but it still has that same passion from earlier. it’s loving and it’s everything you’ve ever needed from a kiss with park sunghoon.
you don’t get to indulge in the moment any longer, though, a thud sounding outside your room and hushed voices filtering from under the door. you and sunghoon share a look.
“shut the fuck up, they’re gonna hear us!”
“you’re the one being loud, what are you saying?”
“jake shut your fucking mouth, don’t back talk me.”
“wait why are they quiet?”
“shhh!”
sunghoon scoffs before he opens the door, revealing your friends all gathered in front of it. jake and kai fall forward, ears first. they give you guilty smiles when they realize they’ve been caught, chuckling uncomfortably.
“beomgyu, you owe me five bucks.” heeseung says when he takes notice of the clothes strewn across the room.
nevermind. lee heeseung truly was the bane of your existence.
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© yeonjunszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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stevie-petey · 3 months
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hiiiiiiiii honey <3 could we get a blurb about bug telling steve about jonathan’s outburst towards her after he took the pictures of nancy and steve’s reaction to learning about it???? it would be so so appreciated by me <3 you’re the best ever <3 MWAH
(i am being held against my will to write this jonathan sweetie im so sorry) (i love u val) (u are evil)
i know this isnt necessarily what u MEANT but ,,, ive been dying to expand upon bugs kindness and how it may seem annoying and pathetic, but its hers ! its her kindness !!!
enjoy <3
"no way you guys havent wanted to strangle each other at least once." steve remarks one day as he watches you and jonathan work side by side at the cash register.
jonathan had been bored today and decided to join you and steve at work, something that you're very happy about, honestly.
"oh, ive definitely wanted to strangle jonathan," you say, writing down a new shipment receipt while the boy next to you doodles.
steve rolls his eyes. "old married couple squabbling doesnt count. im talking, like, full on betrayal and hurt here. you guys are always so... you, and it has to be an act."
jonathan snorts. "shouldve seen the fights we had last year. surprised y/n didnt kill me with her bare hands."
"i dont believe you."
"no, hes right." you look up at steve. "he threw a jacket at my face last year and then told me we werent family the night he took those pictures of nancy. then cried in my arms like a day later."
steve stares at you, shocked.
"i also then slept in nancys bed and lied about it. and tried leaving you behind a few times."
"that you did," you flick jonathans ear, causing him to wince in pain. "you deserved that."
"i did."
during this entire exchange, steve hasnt said a single word. hes still stunned, baffled by the fact that jonathan could be so cruel to someone so wonderful.
"wait a second," he looks between you and jonathan. "and youre still friends?"
"yeah." you both say at the same time.
steve cant fucking believe it. you do anything and everything for jonathan, that much is obvious, and sure. steve has seen jonathan do small acts of kindness towards you, devote the same back, but to throw a jacket at you and belittle you? and now here he is, joking about it alongside you. as if it was all okay in the end.
"youre too nice sometimes, y/n." the words leave steves lips before he can stop them. once he realizes what hes said, he looks up at jonathan and panics. "sorry, man. im sure you guys talked it out and... yeah."
jonathan shrugs. "no, youre right. she is and i was dick."
"im right here, you know."
steve winces. "sorry."
"its fine, honestly." you go back to scribbling shipment orders. "i am indeed too nice, but i dont ever really see the point in holding a grudge? i mean, jonathan apologized and i understood the stress he was under. sure, it didnt erase all the hurt he caused, but after almost dying immediately after being mad at him for not including me in something... i dont know. it felt silly to hold onto that anger after. childish, even."
jonathan and steve share a look, for once both seeming to think the same thing.
shes too good.
you hate that they do this. you hate that people view your kindness as a weakness. after the hell youve been through, long before monsters even came to hawkins, youve learned the hard way just how rare kindness is.
now you try to be kind to everything and everyone, no matter what it may cost you.
the kindness is yours, no one elses.
and if that makes you weak, then at least it made you better.
you tear two pieces paper from your notebook, scrunch them up into balls, and then throw them at steve and jonathan. "stop pitying me. im kind and i love that aspect of myself. i dont care if it makes me vulnerable or pathetic. its a piece of me, and i wouldnt change it. if you dont like it, then that belittles me even more than emotional outbursts ever could."
jonathan sighs. "youre right, bug. youre a very kind and lovely person and its what makes you a joy to be around, paper balls and all."
steve plays along. "definitely a better super power than spider-man, dare i say."
"okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves now," you giggle, appreciative of both the boys. they may not understand or like the way you view the world, but theyre at least trying.
its all you could ask for.
even if steve later on that day pulls you aside to whisper, "i think i can kick jonathans ass this time, if you ever need it."
and its enough.
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greazyfloz · 1 year
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Luke Hughes fluff 12 plz 🙏
Fluff: 12. “I didn’t want to fall in love, but you make it hard not to” w/ Luke Hughes
Friends Don't
I’ve known Luke since he played for the NDTP. I had a crush on him but was friendzoned almost immediately. We became closer when we both ran into each other again during frosh week at Michigan. Since we became best friends. It’s weird to go a day let alone a couple hours without texting him, but today was different. Actually this whole week was different. 
Luke has been off and on with me all week. I think in the past 4 days I have probably received about 5 texts from him. I would see him tonight at a party at Nolan’s that Mackie told me to go to. As I am getting ready I send Luke a text asking if we could go together or meet up. I didn’t hear anything by the time I was done getting ready so I decided to head out myself.
I arrive to the party and make my way over to Mackie. Mackie was standing with Eddy and Mark and no sign of Luke. I am tempted to ask the boys but bite my tongue and just nod along to whatever they are talking about. 
After about 30 minutes I decide to go get myself a new drink so I made my way to the kitchen. As I was refilling my drink an attractive guy from one of my classes that I havent ever talked to makes his way over, “Hey!” he says in a friendly tone.
“Hey” I say back just as friendly
“You’re Y/n, right? We have 8am Tuesday together”
“Yeah, I’m Y/n. Yes I remember seeing you around” “I’m Kyle by the way” he says looking down at his feet shyly before looking back at me, “Where are your friends? You didn’t come alone did you?” he asks
“Oh, no” I say looking around the kitchen to see if I could see anyone I knew, “They must be in the next room” I say still browsing the crowd. The two of us continue talking about class and about ourselves before long it is close to 1am. 
“Oh shoot!” I say looking down at my watch, “I should get going home now, I didn’t want to stay out that long!” 
“You aren’t walking alone are you?” he asks 
“No I was going to ask one of m-” before I could finish I felt a presence behind me speak
“She’s good, man” I turn to see Luke and Duker behind me, one less happy looking than the other. 
“Oh sorry! I didn’t know you guys were dating!” Kyle apologizes to Luke looking between both Luke and I.
“We aren’t” I say but Kyle already turns to leave me with Luke before turning around quick to say:
“Ah okay, I gotta get going”
I turn back at Luke and Duker and Duker is first to speak, “He looked like he was going to shit himself”
“Who was that?” a slightly less amused Luke asks me. 
“Kyle, he was going to walk me home”
“You don’t even know him. I’ll walk you, come on” he says and I walk by him and he follows leaving Duker at the party. After we exit the party and begin our walk back home I question him.
“What was that?” I ask
“What?” Luke says
“Why couldn’t he walk me home?”
“Because”
“Good reason” I say walking a bit faster
“Well how long have you known him? Like awhile?” he questions me catching up
“He is in one of my classes Luke, damn! My own parents wouldn’t care that much!” I say stopping and looking at him
“Well I wanted to walk you home, that's all” Luke says in defence
“So you’re jealous? This is a new side I don’t like” I say and I could tell the last part broke Luke a little on the inside, “You act so protective over me like we are dating or something”
“I just don’t want you talking to other guys” 
“Why? We are dati-”
“Because I love you Y/n” he says and I stand there looking at him in shock, “I didn’t want to fall in love, but you make it hard not to”. 
“Luke- I- um I wasn’t expecting this” I say back in complete shock.
“I really thought staying friends would be better for us, but I was wrong. I can’t watch you with other guys anymore, it kills me” Luke continues. “I really didn’t mean to embarrass you tonight, but I just had to let you k-”
I press my lips to his shutting him up and he gladly kisses me back. I pull away staying in his arms, “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for that”. Luke smiles down at me pulling away and grabbing one of my hands. 
“Here let’s go to my place tonight” 
“The boys though” I say as I begin walking with Luke back to his place. 
“They have probably already seen this coming” he blushes
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marvelita85 · 11 months
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Living in The red keep after your marriage wasnt always easy, most of your time was spend with your husband , when Sir Criston Cole wasn't around, honestly you couldnt stand the man, and thanks to Helaena who made your days happier and complete, your aunt, now sister too looked foward to your afternoons in the godswood with her children who you had doubts they were Aegon's because of how sweet they were
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You wrote to your mother quiet frecuently and your mornings were spend in the library after break your fast with Aemond looking for new books to read to your convalecent gransfather, he was very happy you were living there with them... it was like having Rhaenyra again
You shared your mother's figures and looks one of the reasons the queen acepted you to married Aemond, but the truth was both of you married for love, you grow up together and fell in love for Aemond there wasn't any other choise
But spies and maids loyal to the queen was what abuded in the red keep, even you tried to be carefull in what you informed Daemon and your mother and doing so in Valaryan you knew you were being watched
You tried to live as normal as you posibly could but sometimes you wanted your dragon to call "Dracarys" in all of them
- princess...
- queen Alicent... - you were always respectfull of her tittle but you never called her my queen...
- I wanted to see you... my maids informed me you havent bleed in a month...- you looked at her surpriced but what she was saying was not lie... but you didnt think much about it
- I didnt think much of it, I've been busy...
- you should let the maesters check on you... I will arranged it myself...
- thank you queen Alicent but is not necesary... my mothers ladies will come with her shortly
-I dont think is necesary to wait...
- is not that long and if it is true the reason I'vnt bleed is still going to be there, Im sorry but the king is waiting for me... - you gave her a little bow and dissapeared in the corner
Alicent couldnt find to have a close relationship with you, you loved her son but her not so much, you saw her as a traitor to your mother
That night your maid was preparing for bed and Aemond entered your shared room
- leave us... - he said and the maid left not saying a word... - is it true what my mother said? You havent bleed in a month? - you smile a little and nod your head looking at him... - ynn.... - he aproached to you and you stand hugging him
- we shouldnt get our hopes up jusy yet... it could be but maybe not..
- then why you dont let the maester look at you...
- I dont want them near me... he is the same one who butchered my grandmother while having a boy... I want my mother's maids...
- do you think that I would allow them to do anything like that to you..
- of course not, I trust you Aem... Im just asking you this, we have time, we can wait...- Aemond kiss your forehead
Aemond talked to his mother because she didnt insisted you again until your family arried to Kings Landing for Jace wedding, your mother throught your ravens knew about your situation and her and her ladies were in your room first thing upon arrival
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- I miss you my little dragon..
- I miss you too momma... - you were sensible but you were missing your family, Rhaenyra was always a good mother, leaving her only girl in the hands of the greens was a struggled for her but she knew you loved Aemond and he loved you, she saw that love and the way he treated you despite the way he was with your brothers, it was a different relationship but you looked happy and that was all it matters
- you are with child princess... congratulations...- you had tears of joy in your eyes, your mother pregnant herself was crying aswell
- you are creating your own family my love...
- is so overwelming... I have to tell Aemond...
- I'll go and fetch my brother....- you laught at the way she said it and smile to your mother, you wished her relationship with her siblings were different but a child of you and Aemond meant peace between your family, your marriage was to united the two branches of it, this baby was to solificated it
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- what happend?
- come... I have great news... the ladies of my mother confirm what we suspected my love...
- you mean you are...
- we are.. with child...- Aemond never thought he could feel this full, and complete, he was married with the woman he loved, the almost only thing he thank his own father for because y/n wasn't his mother's choise and now they have created a little life who was theirs and it was undiscribed what he was feeling, he grab you in his arms, felt your body warm against his and knew he would do anythkng for both of you because he loved you but what he felt for that baby already went beyond imagination to the ledges he could go for him
- I have a request from you... before this baby arrives... I wish for him... or her to be born in Dragonstone...- before Aemond could say anything you understood his hesitation...- before you say anything hear me out, the only reason your nephew and even you were born healthy was because of your grandfather, he always wanted his blood in the Iron Throne and your son... our son or daughter will be in direct line of it after my mother and me, we are women and we understand what that means... just imagine if it is a boy... they wont hestidate a second to kill me and raise this kid to their shape and form...
- I wont let anything happend to you...
- then come with me to Dragonstone to have this baby... Luke will go to Drifmark and Jace will be in Winterfell over his honeymoon...
- we are going on Vahgar and your Dragon will follow.... I dont want you to be recless while pregnant with my child...
- as you wish my prince... - you said with a little smile
- I'll do whatever you need of me y/n as long as you and our baby are safe
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magicstormfrostfire · 10 months
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Fanfic fanons that are now canon in Monkie Kid!
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This is a sequel to my post in 2021 'Things that I have to keep reminding myself are not true (or at the very least not confirmed) in 'Lego Monkie Kid' because Fandom and Fanfics have warped my perception of reality' back when we only had seasons 1-2! I made a funny list of lmk fanon tropes I found in fanfics so much that they kinda made me forget what was real and what was fanon. But after season 4 and the special, I decided to go back over things because a LOT has changed. So, without further ado, lets get into all the juicy details (with pictures!) hehehe~
Despite the events of 'Shadow Play' the rest of the gang does not know about Macaque
Okay so this one got solved immediately after season 2. Like Mac just showed up right where s2 ended. He made his presence known. Repeatedly! Relentlessly! I love him btw.
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MK has never told Sun Wukong that Macaque appeared while he was gone
I listed this one specifically because some fics decide to either have MK confess to Wukong that Mac's been in contact with him after his debut episode, or MK might keep it a secret. But in the grand scheme since his debut, its kinda irrelevant now. Man is everywhere.
The Gold Fillet has not been mentioned
This is also no longer true! I mean we see it a lot but there's not a conversation about it specifically. I think that counts... (We're gonna get to the juicy ones I promise)
MK's real name has not been mentioned in the Dub
Still true! (I should clarify; I mean they havent told us what it is. Only that MK is a nickname because his real name is too long.)
MK does not have any confirmed biological family details
Whew, okay so this one is harder. We know that MK was adopted by Pigsy after being born from a stone on FFM just like Sun Wukong. So while its not exactly like Wukong laid him as a stone egg (I mean...he might've idk) its safe to say he is more related to Wukong biologically than anyone else. Right?....I think.
MK does not have an older sister
Still true, for reasons above! (Him having an older sister happened in fanfics a lot more than you'd think)
Reincarnation has not been confirmed or denied
Comfirmed now! It was HEAVILY implied in season 3 toward the end anyway heh.
Red Son and MK are not dating
YET. (But they do have cute moments -crosses fingers-)
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Pigsy and Tang are not dating
Im HAPPY to say that this one is actually sort of implied to be canon? I could list a bunch of knowing looks and one off remarks but I'd be here all day gushing so I'll just go with the most obvious piece of evidence. Season 4's Pig-Napped! Has a moment where Tang is trying to get through to Pigsy, who is trapped in his ancestor's body. He mentions that he has "dedicated his life to this man (Pigsy)" and idk how else to read that if ya know what I mean. (Also this cuddle moment when he got Pigsy back. Tee-hee)
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Sun Wukong and Macaque have not had any kind of relation or relationship confirmed beyond "Beloved Friends"
This one is ALSO having some VIBES but not anything confirming enough for me to outright say its canon. Though there's...there's somethin' goin on. Shadow Play set the table but seasons 3-4 gave us a FUCKING ANGST MEAL.
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and the special we learn a lot more about Macaque and Wukong's relationship. They were canonically a lot closer and more affectionate than I had originally expected and the implication of being "sworn brothers" the two sharing a home at FFM, and peach metaphors/nicknames I could write a whole book about. I can't really say it has anything as concrete as Tang saying his life is for Pigsy, but I can say the implications are MIGHTY, and their wounds are DEEP. (Shadowpeach flows in my veins so deeply, season 5 please give me what I need its Sonadow but Monkey men please gods, all of the gods, just give me--)
Mei, Red Son, and MK have never had a party or a sleepover
Weirdly enough, this totally happened??? Like not gonna lie out of all of these things on this list, this one was the one I didn't expect to come through. But they did sleep over at Red's place, and had a beach party at the end of s4.
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Lady Bone Demon has not been directly referred to as White Bone Spirit in the Dub
This is true, likely because they just went with a different name entirely for the English dub.
The Shame Temple is not for sex
YET.
There is no Easter Bunny, There is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no Spindrax
Honestly considering what happened to the spider gang as a whole, I'm not surprised this is still true....(RIP)
MK has not called Pigsy Dadsy (Update: a few people have confirmed this has happened) and Mk has not called Sun Wukong Dad
Im including these two together (even though the Dadsy one was already confirmed in s1) for a few reasons because I feel like I need to talk about why.
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MK not only has called Pigsy Dadsy, he says flat out in season 4 that Pigsy is his dad, due to adopting him. This is in reply to Mei saying that Wukong is his dad, due to the whole stone monkey thing. While its implied he and Wukong are cut from the same cloth somehow, both being mystic stone monkeys, MK only sees Pigsy as his true father.
Macaque has not been redeemed yet
This one is a lot more nuanced. While Mac is no longer their enemy and is a reluctant ally, I wouldn't call him redeemed necessary. This is mostly because around the end of season3 and all of season 4 we begin to delve into the complexity of Wukong/Macaque. It's shown that both parties did damage and hurt each other in the past. It feels a bit black and white to try and put all the blame on Macaque and say he needs to be 'redeemed' now that we know more about the two monkeys. But for the sake of argument, I will say that as of season 4, Macaque can be considered one of the good guys even if they're not his 'friends.'
His relationship with Wukong is just beginning to mend and that's a whole different can of worms, but as past antagonists go, I'd say he's got a seal of approval when it comes to being a reliable ally.
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Aaaaannnddddd that's all the ones I had! This was really fun to comb through all of the fanfic themes and see how much they've snuck their way into canon (or were flat out proven to be the deal from the start) since season 2! Hopefully once season 5 rolls around I can address some of these unconfirmed fanfic themes again, and maybe even have new ones! (Right now the only one I can think of is Azure having romantic feelings for Wukong but since he's kinda gone idk if that would ever come up)
If anyone has some other fanfic themes that are so fanon they get mixed up with canon, let me know so I can make a list! mwhehehe UwU
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merakiui · 2 days
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how do you manage to write for scaramouche so well?? ❤😭 it may be because i havent played genshin before. but. you srsly have me simping HARDCORE for this man, to the point that i wanna get in on the action too and write something of him for myself!!!- but as someone whose barely wrote before and struggles with dialogue sm, it feels impossibly difficult.. may i ask for some tips or advice abt this, if youre up for it ofc? and this is off topic but i also want to say that i enjoy reading every single writing of yours, and im very very thankful to you for even choosing to post them in the first place. reading something that you write will always make my day sm better and i appreciate you so much. im so sry this became so long rn, but i wish you a day as hardcorely wonderful as youve made me simp so hardcorely for scaramouche!!! (it was sounding better in myhead NOO. in all seriousness tho i wish you the best day ever possible, THANK YOU!!! you should be super duper proud of yourself for making these masterpieces and i srsly hope you are, even tho i know its hard to feel this way abt your own work!!!)
AAAAA this is so sweet... 🥺 thank you for enjoying my writings and the way I portray Scara!!!! (੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭♡ I'm glad you can love and simp for him!!!!!! He deserves many fans!!!! >3< and I'm grateful to know my works can make you happy!!! I wish you the most amazing, hardcorely wonderful day as well!!!!!! 💖💖
As for advice I'm not sure if it's advice for writing dialogue or Scara, but I can share my thoughts for both!!! :D dialogue is fun because, while it's still conversational, it can come in many forms depending on the context and dynamic/relationship between the characters. For example, dialogue between a boss and their secretary will be different from that of dialogue between close friends. Real-life conversations aren't perfect; we stutter, repeat words, trail off in what we're saying, ramble, interrupt, use fillers like "um" or "ah," and so on. Adding these elements into dialogue between characters can help it feel more natural.
With Scara, he has so many layers and can be written in many different ways depending on what era of him you're writing for. What I like most of all, though, is his ability to act so friendly. I feel as if this ability of his is somewhat forgotten, but in the Unreconciled Stars event he approached Traveler and company with such a friendly façade. Even his intonation was bright and kind (as opposed to how he later addresses the Fatui soldiers)!!!!! orz orz I adore this aspect of his character,, how he's able to be both a brilliant actor and an intimidating Harbinger all in one. His sharp, sarcastic tongue... the threatening aura he has despite being so short hehe. <3 there's so much to love!!
I like to imagine him as the stray cat they tell you not to feed often otherwise he'll continue to come around even when there isn't any food to give. Although it also helps that he's portrayed as a cat in Nahida's fairy tale. ;;; I love Scarameow with all of my heart!!!! It's also important to note that, as evil as he was during his era as a villain, there were also facets to him that showed some gap moe. How he cares for the elderly and children. How we know that he has a tendency to get attached to things, to seek a purpose, to know what it's like to be human and feel human, to be accepted and loved.
His misunderstanding with Ei also plays a role in how he views the world (and how he'd probably be wary in falling in love because he fears abandonment). Whereas Ei was hoping he could live his own life by setting him free rather than destroying him as Miko had wanted her to do, Scara mistook the gesture as abandonment and betrayal. And from his perspective it's hard to see the goodwill in what Ei did because she,,,, didn't exactly go about it in the best way. ^^;;;;
Aaaa there are just so many parts to consider from the timeline of his existence. As Wanderer, it's really heartwarming to see him gradually healing and accepting himself as well as letting go of past grievances (but also taking accountability for and acknowledging all that he did as well as all that he is). He still has that same sharp-tongued sarcasm and there are still rough edges, but he's not so harsh or vindictive. 🥺 I just adore him so much...
I rambled a lot and I'm sorry. T^T I hope it's helpful advice and not just my adoration for Scara shining through. ;;;;;
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liberonoya · 1 year
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hello hello, steffi here ⸜(*˙꒳˙*)⸝  a while ago this blog reached 1k followers, and i wanted to take it as a chance to memorize this special journey. anime has always been part of my life since childhood, but i didn’t regard myself as an anime fan, until i created this blog, and started to watch anime regularly. the comfort & happiness this culture gave me are far beyond my expectations. the excitement of waiting for the new episode airing on weekends is unreal, i truly feel like my life has another thing to look forward to. not to mention all the amazingly talented content creators i met on here, you guys are definitely a big part that made this journey much more special than just watch anime alone, so here’s a special mention to the amazing people ive followed :
@giyyu @nicholasdwolf @todorokistoya @hakkikun @theforgers @itadorii-yuuji @fangrui @tanchirou @smol-ackerman @tomiokasensei @gojosattoru @yuujies @redbluenight @hayakaws @okkottsus @kimdokjas @tameshrimp @seishirousnagi @incepstla @suknas @hokusu @katsukes @kilruas @aslaanjade @mcki @queenrojpag @roronoua @gizaoyas @yooasobi @bluelokk @nanakorobiyaokii @itoshisae @silversoulsociety @nagumo-chan @chifuya @tatakaeeren
mutuals or not, every time i saw your icons on my dash, i know that we are enjoying the same thing in our own ways and that kind of feelings really makes me delighted.
last but not least, since my work is costing a lot of my time but i also do not want to miss the works that people spend a lot of time on, so i started to use the tracking tag #usersteffi feel free to tag it in your posts so that i can reblog them when im back on here. dont worry if it is a series i havent watched, as a gifmaker myself i know how important it is to reblog people’s works, hence i’d love to do it as much as possible! "٩(ー̀ꇴー́) i truly hope my anime journey will be long enough, and that we can continue enjoying what we love, regardless of the age 🤍
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v-anrouge · 27 days
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Answer some or all, I want to know more about you 👀 that wasn’t the right emoji but oh well I’m using voice to text
Do you have freckles? 
 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 
What was the last song you listened to? 
Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 
Do you prefer drawing or writing? 
What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 
What’s your favorite band/artist? 
When is your birthday? 
How tall are you? 
What color are your eyes? 
Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 
Fears? 
What’s your favorite color? 
What’s your favorite season? 
Want any tattoos? What of? 
Want any piercings? Where? 
Who is the last person you texted? 
Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 
What/who do you miss? 
How was your day today? 
How much sleep did you get last night? 
Do you believe in aliens? 
When was the last time you cried? Why? 
What’s your favorite decade? 
What are some seemingly childish things you like? 
What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 
How are you, really? 
Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 
What are you looking forward to in the near future? 
What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 
If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 
Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 
What’s your favorite flower? 
Do you currently have a squish? 
Do you like your middle name? 
Do you prefer dogs or cats? 
Do you have any phobias? 
Do you stay up late?
Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 
What’s your favorite cartoon? 
Tag 5 of your favorite blogs
Do you have siblings? How many? 
Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 
Is there anyone you would die for? 
What do you need when you’re sad? 
Have you memorized your phone number? 
Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 
What does your last text say? 
Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 
1- actually yeah but theyre super super super light so u can barely see them
2- coffee, i hate tea. i drink it with milk and sugar
3- more KDA
4- side, shrimping
5- yes:3 rook vil and my childhood plush
6- drawing
7- one, and it has to be thin
8- DONT DO THID TO ME I CANT DECIDE
9- june 19
10- 5'3 💀
11- very dark brown
12- all my mooties
13- abandonment, forests, insects, worm like things, heaven, dogs
14- blue and purple
15- winter 100%
16- yes! maybe of a deer, not realistic tho
17- i want all my piercings back my mom made me take them off so now im only left w my bites and the cheek ones😔
18- my mother
19- my lesbian irl :3 like two years?
20- peace
21- okay-ish
22- like 4 or 5?
23- i don't care for them
24- like 1 hour ago, obey me 💀
25- i don't think there are decades to be celebrated humans are evil in all of them
26- cute things, children movies and cartoons, they make me happy
27- i haven't read in LONG because books in brazil are way more expensive than i can afford
28- okay i think
29- yes😭
30- getting a job that i actually like
31- moving with my irl
32- to my irl's house :3
33- locked shut
34- oleanders!
35- nope
36- HATE IT
37- CATSSS
38- insects, worm like things..i think that's it?
39- yeah💀
40- no, but also yes, i dislike beaches because in there's always those fucking sand dollars , i prefer it sunny because the water is cold
41- GUMBALL!!!
42- I CANT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE ANYONE SAD FOR NOT BEING HERE
43- two older brothers
44- my irl
45- my irl...
46- distract myself and talk to people i like (usually my irl)
47- no i havent 😭
48- my irl <3
49- it's a fight between me and my mom id rather not, sorry
50- I have absolutely no idea what to ask tbh😭 uhmm i guess id like to ask why so many ppl like me
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c0rinarii · 29 days
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WELL! I have just concluded the game that i bought on impulse bc i was hyperfixating on some of the characters (guess who!). I have A LOT of thoughts, but i'll start with some nutshell character thoughts and pairing shenanigains. Spoilers below!
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That 4th tier deserves a bit of elaboration
Juro: He is, at his core, a blank sheet of paper. A mild sandwich with no seasoning. And I like how this game handled that fact bc he was someone more prior to this, but he's given a new personality so he can rest from being so self-sacrificing (if he's anything like the juro izumi from 2 loops ago). He's in the "they're there" tier for a special reason, bc he's kind of meant to be just There.
Renya: Despite being there just to help the audience answer some questions regarding the fucked up narrative of the story, I think what gives him a leg up from the "They're there" tier is his lowkey hilarious relationship with Ryoko. He is perplexed and lowkey salty about how short their relationship lasted no matter how hard he tries. He tries to not gaf as much as Ryoko does but he still does. Ei calls him out on this. Its so so funny.
Megumi: HER NARRATIVE ON GRIEF WAS VERY WELL DONE and if it werent for the spaghetti bullshit of an ending the epilogue was, I would be soooo so intrested how she'd handle moving on from Izumi. I find the concept of Juro/Megumi much more bearable with Juro now having one sided feelings for Megumi while Megumi considers giving him a chance or not. That wouldve been a great closing to their relationship instead of. just getting toghether with no qualms! yeah juro i totally wasnt mouring a dead version of you in that simulation. lets kiss.
Miyuki: I KNEW YOU COULD SAVE THOSE KIDS WITHOUT INFLICTING SEVERE TRAUMA. Sadly aside from "saviour from above" themeing with her, theres nothing much outside of that. While im greatful she was there, she is just there in the end. But her efforts give her a leg up from that tier.
Chihiro: The concept of a very peeved elderly woman stuck in a pre-schoolers body is a funny one and im just extremely glad that 13SAR is not big enough that sobposters arent using her at large to fufill their degen fantasies. Aside from that shtick though, nothing else. Thats literally a baby
Moving onto the canon main pairings!:
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I saw someone calling HijiOki queer-bait and i can kindaaaa see why when basing it off the epilogue. Yeah they havent seem to progress much past 5 years and are at best still at talking stage while some of the others are literally married with kids (oh i'll get to that.) But I like to see it as the only pairing with realistic progression past. everything thats happened. Aside that they're just very funny!! Love their dynamic, will be rooting for them no matter how long it takes.
I did not expect myself to like SekiFuyu this much!! I do agree that Iori ESPECIALLY deserves more story outside hanging with gals and crushing over Sekigahara (not to say i didnt like it!!), but im very glad that the story subverted my expectations! I want them to be happy first and foremost, but i feel like the added angst from Iori realisng that she was a clone of THE Chihiro Morimura wouldve made this ship just a little bit more peak. Aside that, I support Iori shoujoisms and Sekigahara finding love and happiness.
I think my rating on Nentomi will change the more I ruminate on it. MeguJuro would be bumped up above RenRyo IF they didnt immediately fall in love after those 5 years and have Megumi still "thinking about it" while Juro goes "pleaaase :(" bc i think Megumi deserves to tease him a lil and think more about What the hell happened. ShuuYuki is the worst case of comphet between a lesbian and a looser bisexual ive seen.
Now.... the elephant in the room.
Ive talked to moots about how much i abhored the ending at first. Aside from the Darling in the Franxx-esque cop out, you expect me to believe that some of them just. got toghether after everything?? without any processing of What The Hell just happened?? nothing at all?? god
Im not the one to usually complain about comphet bc yeah its something i hate, but it usually doesnt sour my experience of consuming media so much. But god this is where its one of the main reasons why an ending is ruined for me. I hate hate HATED some of the epilogue scenes, esp with Nentomi and Shuuyuki bc of the straight people "my wife sucks but i love her" humour it radiates. ugh.
I would've loved a much more... bleak? more bittersweet?? outlook on the situation? after realisng everything is not real and you are basically the 15 adam and eves left to recreate human civilzation... that would be a pretty fucking huge thing to grapple with. I just wished that they had more complexity with this ending. Or! just stick with the fact that they're forever trapped in space colonies left to deal with the horrors of their situations and the mistakes of those in the past. Sorry for bring a tragic yuri enjoyer, but the overbearing dread and loom from the simulation story was what really made me intrested in 13SAR. To see it just solve itself with little drawback was so lame.
I read the George Kamitani aimed for 13SAR to have a mecha and shoujo hybrid story. While that's honestly an awesome concept, im sad it means that he can miss out on more complexity when intepretting the narrative when it comes to certain relationships (shoujos can be complex too!) I also heard that the game was meant to be at least 3 times longer that it is curently which is. wow. Its a shame that so much content got cut out 😭 bc i feel like a bit more time with these characters is all i need to make my verdict more positive.
As a bonus, i'll include a crackship tierlist too! Alot has changed
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I miiight need another few days or even weeks to compile another thoughts post bc theres definitely more things i wanna talk about (the narrative structure, Tamao, 2188 theories, themes of japanese imperialism-). But so far, im gonna let it ruminate for a bit before picking it back up to analyse
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