#i just have a lot of feelings abt steve being so so happy and afraid of asking for more

[emchant3d]

(Originally posted as a thread on my twitter here)

In an angsty steddie mood so: Thinking abt how Steve makes an effort to get into Eddie's hobbies, hangs out at Hellfire, and listens to his music, while Eddie is used to making fun of popular stuff and he doesn't think about how that also means he's making fun of stuff Steve enjoys.

He is obviously not TRYING to be a dick and he's such a sweet boyfriend, but he definitely rags on Steve when he wants to watch whatever game is on, makes fun of him when he listens to top 40, and teases him about how into fashion he can be.

Steve just rolls his eyes and laughs at him, says Eddie is just as self-absorbed as he is when it comes to his style, but the rest...it doesn't hurt, per se, but it falls in line with what Steve is used to - people don't care, and he's the one who makes the effort.

And Eddie is so good to Steve all the time, he genuinely loves him and takes care of him and is there for him, he just doesn't think about the fact that when he's dismissive of these things that matter to him, he's being dismissive about *Steve*.

It clicks one evening when Steve's talking about his day, how he went to one of Lucas' games and starts getting into the details about a specific play Lucas made, how impressive it was, but he cuts himself off mid-sentence and goes "you don't care, sorry-- how was band practice?"

And he's smiling at Eddie, fond and soft, but there's a tint of embarrassment at the corners of it, a pinch at his eyes. And Eddie's familiar with that look. Its the same look on his own face when he's been rambling about something for too long and somebody tells him to shut up.

It's the same look he gets when he's passionate and gets shut down and that discomfort coils in his stomach at the idea of being too *much*, of being annoying, of wearing out people's patience because he can't just keep his mouth shut.

And the worst part is - he'd been a few seconds away from cracking a joke about balls in laundry baskets and how stupid organized sports are and how nobody cares how good dumbass dudes are at throwing shit at other dumbasses.

And this time the discomfort in Eddie's stomach isn't embarrassment or shame, it's guilt. He can't stand that Steve has felt that way before - because he knows he has, he's heard the stories about his parents, knows Steve is too familiar with how bad it hurts to be insignificant.

But most of all, he can't stand the idea that he feels that way because of *Eddie*. That Steve isn't talking about something he cares about because he thinks - he knows, really - that Eddie will dismiss it.

And yeah, sure, it's a stupid basketball game. But it isn't stupid to Steve, and Eddie watches the air leave his boy's sails and his shoulders go a little tight like he's waiting for Eddie to make fun of it even while he's smiling and asking after Eddie, inviting a subject change

So Eddie waves a hand dramatically, rolls his eyes, "practice was fine, the usual - so what did Lucas do after that?" And Steve blinks at him in surprise, like he's shocked Eddie is asking.

"Um," Steve stutters, hesitates, and God Eddie feels like such an asshole, but he just keeps his eyes on Steve, does his best to look interested and engaged, and soon Steve is running through the game again, a small smile on his face, his enthusiasm obvious.

Eddie tries more after that. He asks about a song on the radio when Steve starts tapping his steering wheel to the beat. He stops complaining when Steve comes over to watch games with Wayne.

He even goes shopping with Steve, doesn't say a word when he fusses over two sweaters that look fucking identical from where Eddie is standing. He just shrugs and says "get both, sweetheart," and watches the way Steve grins when he gives his opinion.

Steve doesn't comment on what Eddie's doing, and Eddie doesn't make it a thing, but they can both feel the way their relationship feels more balanced now. Steve stops cutting himself off when he starts rambling, and Eddie still teases him sometimes, but it's playful, gentle.

And it's all worth it just for the way Steve fucking beams at him when Eddie joins him for Lucas' next game, holding hands in the family section and screaming themselves hoarse.

#steddie #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #steve/eddie #eddie/steve #steddie fic #steddie drabble #i just have a lot of feelings abt steve being so so happy and afraid of asking for more #and eddie flat refusing to not give him the world

[thecreelhouse]

i still have a massive headache from ugly crying over the finale, so this will probably be messy, but here’s some thoughts if anyone cares !

maybe i missed something but was there any more of a reason as to why the upside down was frozen in time? idk maybe this is me being nit picky but that feels like suuuuch a major detail to mention and reference to and then not have it really amount to anything important? idk maybe it’s just me! but like i’m really interested and would love if that was explained a bit further if possible next season.

look i’m not one to kiss the duffers’ asses by any means like i can respect valid criticism abt the show and a lot of it i get behind, but it hasn’t even been 24 hours and y’all are ripping it apart already? everyone can feel how they feel, that’s normal! it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea… but damn, y’all are getting so harsh about plot points that have been under our noses this whole time lol come on now

which brings me to my next point: everyone acting like the stancy nonsense is coming out of nowhere. i’ll admit, it was jarring to me too! steve deserves better and a chance to move onward imo, and it’s great that him and nancy are friends at least!! but it doesn’t mean they have to pick up a relationship that had no future to begin with. however, it’s not surprising (at least to me idk?) that steve was still longing for whatever he thought they could’ve had. it seemed like since s3, he’s been searching for a distraction, i guess? maybe not so much from nancy herself, but the loss of love itself, and how he hasn’t been able to find a connection he felt so strongly about since. the mention of his dream of having a family isn’t far fetched imo. was it cringy for him? yeah maybe. but looking back at how he’s an only child, was constantly ignored and neglected by his own parents, it’s not an insane concept that he would want to start a family of his own. he would want to be a better parent than his parents were to him. that guy has the biggest heart in hawkins, it’s almost baffling people are angry that he voiced wanting a positive future. and while he values the found family he has with everyone now, it’s really still not an outlandish concept that he would someday want to live a “normal” (in hawkins’ standard at least) life.

the way max talks about how she wanted billy, her abusive step brother, to essentially have something awful happen to him— that’s a very common trauma response. to be afraid and compliant around an abuser in person because you’re too afraid to defend yourself? that’s incredibly common. same with how she goes on to say she eventually wanted to die herself, that was textbook survivor’s guilt right there. (doesn’t she even say something like that herself? i can’t remember i need to rewatch. but it’s heavily implied.) it’s kind of frustrating seeing some of y’all say it was a disservice to her character, when it was showing a more realistic, albeit textbook, side of surviving abuse/a specific abuser. not every survivor reacts in these ways, but to say it’s ridiculous or out of line for her character is just … silly, to say the least. not trying to justify her fake out death; i know a lot of fans are sick of that by now, but it definitely made sense in the grand scheme of things.

people are upset about will’s coming out scene and how it’s left up to interpretation. and in a way, i get it, but we have an incredibly safe, loving and supportive coming out scene with robin opening up to steve about her sexuality. and that’s not to say media can’t have multiple happy queer moments! personally, i’d love to see it more everywhere! but i also really appreciate the subtlety of will’s scene. because not everyone reacts the same, especially in the 80s, it just wasn’t as accepted back then. shit, i was just as terrified as will was when i came out in the 2000s lmao so like. it can be really terrifying for some lgbtq+ folks. i get wanting specific representation, i.e. if you don’t identify as a lesbian, rather a gay/queer masc person, i get you wouldn’t be able to fully relate to robin’s story. but that doesn’t mean we should ignore the fantastic queer representation we already have, loud and proud as all hell. i’ve seen multiple fandom blogs mention how it feels like lesbophobia, and i think that’s a justified feeling. we can appreciate the fact that coming out, especially in that decade, is on a whole spectrum of emotions. it was very realistic imo, but maybe that’s just me being an annoying ass *~*~elder gay~*~*~ or whatever the fuck.

i could word all of that better i’m sure but my brain is still fried from staying up earlier. so my apologies to anyone who actually reads this if it doesn’t make sense. i know i have some other things i wanna ramble about but i can’t remember rn.

im so so so open to discussion and theories and opinions !!!! as long as you’re not mean. i’ll leave reblogs on and my ask is still open but please don’t use it to be rude. i definitely do not have the spoons to handle that today lol.

was it perfect? fuck no. was it the best season? imo i think s2 is still the best, but this definitely was better than s3 imo. they weren’t kidding when they said this season was bigger than anyone could imagine. i thought it was really worth the wait!

#syl shut up #st4 spoilers #st4 speculation #st4 theories #pls @ all serious st analysis blogs do not come at me if i’m interpreting anything wrong #obviously please don’t read if you haven’t finished vol 2 yet #the part about billy is also not up for debate again i don’t have the spoons so just ignore this post if you like billy ok thx

[katoodlez]

uwu meter exploded and i ate dinner at 2am after watching this aka the sam and bucky show episode 5

The new episode was sO goOd omg tbh i didnt think i was gonna be able to watch it last night and i legit cried. But i did and i am very very thankful. Because it was a very very good episode. But before we start stOP reAdING cuz theres gonna be MASSIVE SPOILERS IN THIS POST.

Alrighty without further delay, the Sam and Bucky show episode 5 and all its best things (there are a lot, to no one’s surprise). Im gonna go in chronological order to avoid losing my mind.

1. The fight in the beginning. Omg. Walker looked like he was gonna do both Sam and Bucky in with the shield like 6 times and it was lowkey scary. And when Walker knocked bucky into the electric tower or whatever it was— skdjfjs i saw some people post abt Sam’s glare mid battle like “if this is sam looking at walker after he hurt bucky” anD IT ACTUALLY WAS marvel why.

2. Walker ripped Sam’s wings off omg. That was so brutal i audibly gasped. I think we’ve seen the wings being shot at or broken but never ripped clean off. 0 _ 0

3. I like how the fight ended with all three of them on the ground and the shield just lying there. And then Bucky picked it up, left it for Sam and left. Walker was defeated but it kinda shows how Sam still wasn’t sure about the shield, he just knew in that moment that Walker absolutely couldn’t be the one to have it. I feel like that fight scene really conveyed how all of them felt about the shield and it was done really well. (Ok but on a side note, remember in episode 2 when Sam was like “bruh we cant just run up on the man, beat him up and take it?” I guess they went with that plan after all)

4. TORRES MY BELOVED. He’s back and I’m so happy 🥺🥺🥺🥺 also i love how he’s not afraid to give Bucky sass lmao.

5. WHEN SAM TOLD TORRES TO KEEP THE WINGS. listen i havent read the comics but i know what happens in them and Torres is such a Falcon fanboy omg if he’s gonna be the new falcon im gonna be so happy for him ahhHhHh

6. Sam’s conversation with Isaiah Bradley. Man. I’m really really happy that we have that scene. The scene with Isaiah in episode 2 left me reallly uneasy because it ended on a really bad note with unfinished and unsaid things between Sam, Bucky and Isaiah. Also Sam didn’t really get to talk at all in that scene and I felt like he def had things he wanted to say. I appreciated how Sam said that he really didn’t get some stuff and he had Isaiah explain more of his backstory. I think Sam believes that things can change, for good reason, and at the same time Isaiah believes that nothing will change, also for a completely fair reason. But having the time to let the two of them talk, esp with the shield in the room and without Bucky’s complicated history was a really well written piece of dialogue. Thank you screenwriters.

7. SARAH WILSON SUPREMACY. I’m glad we got more of Sarah in this episode ahhh. She’s such a caring sister and I’m here for it. Sam and Sarah sibling dynamics also >>>>>

8. Sam calling in the favors to help fix the boat was so heartwarming omg. And Bucky just showing up lmaooo

9. Bucky flirting with Sarah to get on Sam’s nerves LMAOO

10. Sam and Bucky fixing the boat together was something I needed to see. That entire montage, the teamwork and warm lighting and akskdjajd my heart 🥺🥺💕💕💕

11. Bucky waking up to Sam’s nephews playing with the shield reminded me of the Black Panther end credits scene but also of that one scene in Wandavision with Pietro and wanda’s kids lollll

12. Sarah asking Sam if he’s gonna let Isaiah tell him what to do and then Sam asking/telling Bucky to stop letting others, even Steve, tell him who to be was just. Skdkfjaod. The character conversations in this episode ahHhh

13. On that note, Sam and Sarah having a chance to talk about themselves, their boat and their family was just amazing. They’re fighting to keep their history and also understanding each other at the same time.

14. Sarah telling sam that there’s the fight out there and then theres the fight in here is so special. It in a sense reflects/applies to not only Sam and Sarah’s relationship and struggles, but it also applies to Sam and Bucky’s relationship and struggles esp with Steve and the shield’s legacy, Bucky’s history as the Winter Soldier and all the weight he carries with it. They gotta sort out the inside stuff before getting into the thick of what I’m sure will be the final battle next week as superheroes in the face of the world.

15. On that note. Sam and Bucky finally having the chance to talk was so relieving and eye opening for both characters. Bucky finally understanding Sam’s perception of the shield and its weight on his conscience because he is an African American representing his people and Sam finally understanding a more personal side of Bucky’s relationship with/perception of the shield feels like a knot in their friendship that has been resolved. The development in this show is just through the roof omg.

16. Okay but Bucky talking about how Steve told him about the plan to give Sam the shield... wkerjkakdja I feel like that makes Endgame’s ending a little better 😭😭😭

17. Shield training shield training shield training ahhhHhHhHhh i swear whenever either sam or bucky touched the shield in this episode i started physically vibrating LOL. Its so cool to see the shield in the hands it’s supposed to be in again ☺️☺️ Sam’s training montage with the shield was also AMAZING omg it was so so cool to watch him grow with the skills

18. Not Sam asking Bucky if he has nightmares and talking to him about amends and stuff skdjfjskd lowkey Sam is the superior therapist in this show and he doesn’t get nearly enough credit for it aksjdjskdjajd. Also the implication that Bucky will go back to Nakajima and give him closure for his son I— 😭😭

19. Also im so glad the scene where they’re walking away from each other ISNT the last episode. Its sort of like a “we’ll see each other soon” walk : DD

20. Okay but Bucky helping the Wakandans capture zemo at the memorial (which i think is for his family? 😭😭😭) and then the favor that Bucky called in for sam. WHATS IN THE GOSH DARN BOX OMG. i think it’s either new Falcon wings, a vibranium Redwing (please let it be this) or a suit of some kind

21. And lastly what the heck does Sharon wanna kill Sam for?? She workin for the flag smashers now or sumn? Also Batroc coming back when the last time i think we saw him was in CA: Winter Soldier 0 _ 0

Did it take me an hour to write this post? Yes. Did I get everything? No. I dont think I discussed Walker in this post but he was super scary and deranged and Wyatt Russell blew it out of the ballpark in this episode. Also whats the special character that everyone was hyped about? Anyways. Until next week 0 _ 0 season finale and im not ready for it to be over

#the falcon and the winter soldier spoilers #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #tfatws spoilers #bucky barnes #sam wilson #winter soldier #falcon #hello marvel please bring redwing back thank you #marvel #mcu

[bravadoseries]

tell us about your braudrey wasteland baby analysis

this ended up being long and angsty i am sorry . if u want i can analyze songs from his other album in a happier way to even it out lol

“nfwmb”: 

“when i first saw you / the end was soon” - audrey and bruce met on the helicarrier and i think when they fought in new york they both knew they might not come out of it.  audrey was inexperienced and way out of her depth, bruce was really against turning back into the hulk again.  

“Give your heart and soul to charity / ‘Cause the rest of you, the best of you / Honey, belongs to me” - they both give parts of themselves away for the greater good and feel most human with each other

“Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing can get a look in on my baby / Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing” - when hozier wrote this song everyone thought it was about how nothing fucks with his baby because he protects her but he said actually nobody fucks with her because she’s extraordinarily powerful and scary.  i think both of these apply to braudrey—nobody fucks with bruce because audrey protects him, and nobody fucks with the hulk because he’s giant and terrifying 

“moment’s silence (common tongue)” 

“When stunted hand earns place with man by mere monstrosity / Alarms are struck and shore is shook by sheer atrocity / A cure I know that soothes the soul, does so impossibly” - this is related to an upcoming ~chapter~ lol but basically audrey and bruce go on a retreat upstate that’s supposed to give him the opportunity to hulk out and like scare some squirrels in the woods but while they’re there, audrey and the hulk become good friends ? and so that’s why she’s able to reason with bruce when he turns

“almost (sweet music)” 

i would place this one as post aou when audrey thinks bruce is dead.  

“i’m almost me again, she’s almost you” - after a bit, she starts dating again but she’s still very much grieving and hung up on him 

“i wouldn’t know where to start / sweet music playin’ in the dark / be still my foolish heart / don’t ruin this on me” - audrey becomes good friends with wanda and pietro after age of ultron and they haven’t been around long but they ask her to talk about it because she sits in her room playing the same song every day and crying and they’re like … ?

“I got some colour back, she thinks so, too / I laugh like me again, she laughs like you” - i think this is just audrey letting herself be close to people again. it’s not the same but it’s not so lonely

“movement”

“I still watch you when you're groovin’” so this song i think is about like someone dancing and being really seductive and sexy but this reminds me of bruce watching audrey dancing really terribly w tony at every avengers function.  audrey literally cannot dance for shit and it’s endearing to bruce 

“When you move / I can recall somethin' that's gone from me / When you move / Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free” - i think bruce gets kind of fixated on watching audrey spar and fight; like partially because it’s hot but also because he sees her as very powerful and finds it magnetizing 

“no plan” 

i’m gonna go ahead and place this as ragnarok/infinity war 

“for starts / what a waste to say the heart could feel apart / or feel complete, baby” - audrey and bruce reunite on sakaar and it’s a very emotional scene; it’s a waste to say the heart could feel apart because she knows she’s not less without him but there’s this understanding, this thing that’s been off that’s finally righted when they’re back together

“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand / That's how I know now that you understand” - this applies to a very specific moment in ragnarok before they go to fight hela where audrey puts her hand over bruce’s and he looks at her and she’s unable to tell him that if they die right now she loves him but he knows anyway

“There's no plan / There's no race to be run / The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun / There's no plan / There's no kingdom to come / I’ll be your man if you got love to get done / Sit in and watch the sunlight fade / Honey, enjoy, it's gettin' late / There's no plan / There's no hand on the rein / As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” - so this is all very apocalyptic and not to flex but i was at a concert and hozier talked about this line and how the whole song was written about the doomsday clock and a time when it was closer to zero than ever; it’s a song about throwing caution into the wind at the end of the world and i think that’s fitting.  there’s a period where audrey realizes that they’re not gonna beat thanos, and that the snap is gonna happen, and she takes a breath and notices everything around her and just thinks about how she’s lucky to have had it at all.  

“nobody”

“You know when it's twelve o'clock in Soho, baby / It's gin o'clock where I'll wake up, I don't know / And I think about you though everywhere I go / And I've done everything and I've been everywhere, you know” - this just reminds me of when audrey is away on missions and bruce is still at the base; she’s been everywhere in the world because she’s been alive for so long and she’s been around for a lot; the one thing she’s most grateful for her lifetime to have coincided with though is bruce 

 “i’ve had no love like your love / from nobody” - this is just them lol they understand each other on another level

“I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint / I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave” - this is audrey 2 bruce … she would be appalled if he ever tried to get rid of the hulk for good; i think that it’s such a significant part of how they see and understand each other 

“If I had the choice between hearing either noise: The excitement of a thousand or the soothing of your voice / At first chance, I'd take the bed warmed by the body” - they just choose each other.  they choose to be with each other.  this reminds me of the “give your heart and soul to charity” line in nfwmb because it’s like if they had to be heroes without each other they wouldn’t be happy 

“as it was” 

there’s a conversation bruce and audrey have at the safehouse in age of ultron where bruce is saying he doesn’t feel the same since wanda fucked with his head bc of the vision he had, and he’s worried abt whether or not audrey can continue to care for him when the chaos the hulk created wasn’t for any good or if she’s changed her mind and she has to assure him that she hasn’t; there are a lot of lines from this song that remind me of that

-“whatever’s here that’s left of me / is yours just as it was”

-“Just as it was, baby / Before the otherness came / And I knew its name / The drug, the dark, / The light, the flame” 

-“its holds had the fight of my baby / and the lights were s bright as my baby / but your love was unmoved”

-“the sights were as stark as my baby / and the cold cut as sharp as my baby / and the nights were as dark as my baby / half as beautiful, too” (unrelated sidenote but this line gives me chills always)

then the second verse of this reminds me of audrey and bruce in ragnarok: 

“Tell me if somehow Some of it remains How long you would wait for me How long I've been away The shape that I'm in now Your shape in the doorway Make your good love known to me Or just tell me about your day”

“shrike” 

so audrey has a really really hard time saying i love you after bruce leaves at the end of aou, to anyone—she says it to steve maybe once, but she can’t say it besides that one time, and it’s part of why she’s so torn up about peggy dying because she didn’t tell her she loved her enough in the months leading up to her death.  

but also, when bruce comes back, audrey still can’t muster up the ability to say them out loud, and so at the end of infinity war, she’s left without telling any of the people she loves that she loves them.  when she comes back in endgame, she’s able to overcome that to tell them.  this song reminds me of that 

“I couldn't utter my love when it counted / Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now” - this is when she comes back

“The words hung above / But never would form / Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn / Remember me love when I'm reborn / As the shrike to your sharp / And glorious thorn” - this is both; she couldn’t say it, but she’s “reborn” during endgame and she realizes that the worst has already happened countless times; there’s nothing else to be afraid of that she hasn’t survived

“Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted / All of my goodness is going with you now” - this is just audrey when bruce leaves

“talk” 

ok this entire song is just both audrey and bruce when they like each other but don’t wanna say anything about it.  

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found Hey yeah I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground Hey yeah I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around Hey yeah And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me

I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) All the things I would do So I try to talk refined For fear that you find out (Hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you

I'd be the last shred of truth In the lost myth of true love Hey yeah I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of Hey yeah That's found in the last witness before the wave hits Marvelling at God Hey yeah Before he feels alone one final time And marries the sea Imagine being loved by me

“dinner & diatribes” 

i think…..this doesn’t match up exactly but the new year’s eve chapter…..Yeah

“Let there be damage ensued and tabloid news / And that kind of love / That's the kinda love / I’ve been dreaming of”

“would that i” 

okay buckle up this one is a lot

“True that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me / That the sound of the saw must be known by the tree / Must be felled for to fight the cold / I fretted fire but that was long ago” ok this i think is bruce’s perspective; love in withdrawal was the weeping of me = the isolation he put himself in following becoming the hulk was a very bad spot for him even though it was safest.  the sound of the saw must be known by the tree = gotta risk it for the biscuit! must be felled for to fight the cold / i fretted fire but that was long ago = i used to be afraid but now i’m not; it’s worth the risk 

“Oh, but you're good to me / Oh, you're good to me / Oh, but you're good to me, baby” bruce is just continually confused and surprised by the fact that audrey isn’t scared of him 

“With each love I cut loose I was never the same / Watching still living roots be consumed by the flame / I was fixed on your hand of gold / Laying waste to my loving long ago” 

-with each love i cut loose i was never the same = bruce has cut off everyone he’s been close to since the hulk happened and he’s not the same when he’s alone; he thinks he can make it by himself and he probably can but he doesn’t have to

-i was fixed on your hand of gold / laying waste to my loving long ago = this is actually nice bc the gold imagery specifically matches up with what audrey’s powers are, and so there’s that connection to be made 

“And it's not tonight / Where I'm set alight / And I blink in sight / Your blinding light” this also just matches up really nicely w audrey’s powers lol

“sunlight” 

“I had been lost to you, sunlight / And flew like a moth to you, sunlight / Oh your love is sunlight” i think this would be bruce after age of ultron ? he’s been lost to audrey, but when he sees her he gravitates back toward her immediately; he sees her love as sunlight

“the tale is the same / told before and told again /  soul that's born in cold and rain / knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight” - bruce is the soul that’s born in cold and rain and audrey is sunlight

“Each day you rise with me / Know that I would gladly be / The Icarus to your certainty” - i think he’s just devoted to her 

“wasteland, baby” 

okay going line by line for this one lol buckle up!

“All the fear and fire of the end of the world / Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl” - when they’re fighting thanos audrey is actually reminded of bruce; how losing him felt like the world ending, now it’s for real

“Happens great, happens sweet / Happily, I'm unfazed here, too” - when audrey goes at the end of infinity war, she goes smiling 

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you” - they just love each other

“All the things yet to come are the things that have passed / Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass / Like the bonfire that burns / That all words in the fight fell to” - everything that has happened has led them to this moment; loki, ultron, hydra, etc. without that they wouldn’t have each other, but they also probably wouldn’t be dealing with this mess.  it’s not good or bad, it’s just the way things went.  

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you”

“And I love too, that love soon might end / Be known in its aching / Shown in the shaking / Lately of my wasteland, baby” - they know it’s over before it’s over; they can tell what’s going to happen before it happens, and they’re just paralyzed in that moment 

“Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking / Though quaking, though crazy / That's just wasteland, baby” - when audrey goes bruce pleads with her to stay

“And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun / To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on / And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs” - in the years after the snap, bruce has the most vivid dream almost every night where audrey’s . like . ghost comes to him and takes him to the top of a hill and they watch the world end around them.  it’s terrible and every time he wakes up he misses it.  

“When the stench of the sea and the absence of green” - ok lol this just reminds me of how the hulk wouldn’t come fight at the end of infinity war 

“Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen / Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do” - the world ends; half of everything is dead; but they’re still left.  bruce and steve and everyone have to go on living still.  

“Wasteland, baby / I'm in love, I'm in love with you / (That's it)” - this abruptness just reminds me a lot of the snap; that’s it.  there’s no going back.  

[nativemossy]

Cap-IM Rec Week 2019 - Wednesday

Rec Week- Angsty Wednesday @cap-ironman 

Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for your hardworking authors! they deserve the credit for the hard work they put into entertaining us with their fabulous works of art!

disclaimer: i genuinely struggle with the difference between angst and h/c, so the way i’m differentiating those lists is (mostly) by what the author tagged. 

the stillness of forgetting - by nasa

“Who are you?” Tony asks every morning when he wakes up and finds Steve lying next to him.

“I’m your husband,” Steve always replies.

-

aka Tony has Alzheimer's.

why rec?: ouchie, this one makes me cry a lot, so I don’t read it often. memory loss fics really get to me, so if thats something youre interested in this has it in stock! its so heartrendingly sweet and i just love it a lot

Orbital Mechanics - by Sabrecmc

Freshly out of the ice, Captain Steve Rogers definitely does not want to Bond with anyone. Until he does.

(Steve's POV for Celestial Navigation)

why rec?: tbh i’d recommend anything of Sabres (and multiple times at that - hence why i posted abt this on monday as well), but Celestial Navigation and by extension Orbital Mechanics both have permanent places on my instant classics list. just a lovely fic all around.

Something Death Can Touch - by thatdammeddame

Tony nearly dies in the field on a Saturday.

Steve breaks up with Tony the Wednesday after he's released from hospital.

why rec?: sad!! with happy ending!! its got a nice round conclusion, everyone comes full circle and is better for it.

Like A Comet Streaming On - by Sineala

Tony escapes Afghanistan with a functioning Iron Man suit and a perfectly normal heart. He even manages to bring Ho Yinsen home safely at his side. But he may as well have lost everything... because his wolfbrother is dead. Six months later, the Avengers find Captain America, frozen in ice, miraculously alive. Everything and everyone Steve has ever known is gone -- except his wolfsister, the recipient of the lupine version of the super-soldier serum, who was frozen in his arms. Tony has everything but his wolf. Steve has only his wolf. This is how their lives fit together.

why rec?: another fic that lives in my phone and travels with me - this is an instant classic for sure. i feel like i’ve recced this before no but i will be reccing it’s “fanfic of a fanfic” in tomorrows post, so I have talked about it. I love the psychic wolf premise, I hope to maybe do something in the future with it, though I could never dream of coming close to this amazing fic. If i’ve read this once i’ve read it dozens of times and loved it more each time. 

Wait & Sea - by Lenalena 

In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

why rec?: tagged as angst and humor and if memory serves that’s exactly right. perfect blend of the humor of the identity porn trope with the angst of constant misunderstandings. 

Born From The Earth - by venusm

Tony Stark's born an omega in a world where that means he's supposed to follow certain social rules. He becomes Iron Man anyway: Fuck biology.

If only his biology (and the world) would quit fucking him back.

why rec?: i debated real heavy about including this because it’s technically steve/tony/omc, but hear me out: A great part of this fic focuses on the developing relationship between Tony and Steve, as well as Tony’s relationship with himself and the world around him. This is, hands down, my favorite fic of all time. as far as writing in general goes it’s right up there with my favorite authors. if i could only read one fic for the rest of my life this would undoubtedly be it - unfinished or no. i cannot even begin to impress upon you how much I love this fic. I can only aspire to write like this. the author makes you angry when they want you to be angry, sad when they want that too. It’s a beautifully orchestrated rollercoaster of emotion and I fall a little more in love every time I read it (which is frighteningly often).

Never Too Late for Love - by Sineala

Steve has always believed that a soulbond is a blessing -- a rare and beautiful miracle, joining the thoughts and feelings of two people forever, from the first time they touch. Steve knows he's not going to be one of the lucky ones. He knows Gail isn't his soulmate. But he loves her, even if they're not soulmates, and he's going to do right by her. After the war's over, he's going to marry her, and they're going to settle down. They'll buy a house. They'll have children. He'll see his family again. Maybe Bucky will live next door. It's going to be a good life. He doesn't need a soulbond. He'll be fine without one.

Then Steve wakes up sixty years in the future to find that his wonderful life has moved on without him. His family is long dead. His fiancée married his best friend. And the only purpose he has left is leading the Ultimates, a misbegotten team of superheroes with flaws too numerous to count. Steve hates everything about the future -- but most of all he detests Tony, flashy and flirtatious, who embodies everything Steve hates about a world he never wanted to live in.

And, oh, yeah, Steve has a soulmate after all: Tony fucking Stark.

why rec?: so much relationship angst. so. much. angst. Steve has to get his ass in gear and his brain into the 21st century, and Tony probably needs to go easy on the poor guy. its also ultsfic, which I’m usually not a giant fan of bc of the assholery but the dynamic works for me here

Senseless - by Scavenge4Dreams

Blinded, deafened, exhausted, injured and afraid, Tony raised himself up into a defensive position, the knife coming up just like Nat had taught him.

“That had better fucking be you, Steve Rogers- it had better be you. Fucking disarm me. If you let me kill you, I swear I will be very, very pissed.” Tony snarled, sure it was Steve approaching. Had to be. Had. To. Be.

What if it wasn’t?

why rec?: it’s been a while since i’ve read this, but I remember this being a good one that involves a rescue, injury recovery, and some eventual upon a brief reread I can say that this fic also has established relationship going for it! it’s tagged angst but it’s definitely got it’s fluffy parts and a really fun ending

Thrust Issues - by Sineala

A battle gone wrong leads Tony to the unexpected and pleasant discovery that Steve is much more well-endowed than he could ever have imagined. But when Tony learns that Steve has never actually been able to sleep with anyone because of his size, Tony does what any good friend would do: he offers to relieve Steve of his virginity. Personally. Tony's determined, Tony's methodical, and Tony has a plan. He's going to get Steve laid. Tony just needs to make sure Steve never finds out that Tony's in love with him.

why rec?: look at this point i think we can all agree that i might be a little bit of a fan of sineala’s. just wanted to throw that one out there to start us out. 

so my rec has little to do with the oodles of pining angst (of which there is plenty) and much more to do with there being a specific line in this fic that boils down to “friends fist friends right?” and I think of it at least biweekly. the rest of the fic is beautifully written and the characterization is to die for, plus its got a lovely happy ending!

She - by isozyme

Iron Man is strong and muscular and masculine, and Tony Stark wears a three-piece suit and walks with his hips stiff.  No colors other than navy or muted red. No prints bolder than a pinstripe. No luxurious silks and linens. His outfits are tailored to hang crisp and straight, his slacks hemmed to a conservative medium break.  The public won’t know. Nobody will go digging deeper, for classified ads and witnesses who remember him from half a decade ago. Steve will never find out all the ways Tony’s ruined himself.

why rec?: i’m putting this here just in case I don’t make a post for Sunday. This is one of those fics that hurts so good - it’s so well written sometimes it makes my teeth ache because it’s so sad and as the reader you can see all the pieces but a character cant. I love that feeling, its a great feeling. Some of this stuff can hit close to home so heed the warnings and read the tags!

#capimrecweek #capimrecweek2019 #stony #steve rogers #tony stark #fic recs

[motheritsnotaphase]

M YGIRLWIFE LILY CLOUD 16, 27, 38, jamie 7, 18, 20, penelope 1, 14, 22, catalina 21, 30, 37, matias 11, 12, 17, steve 8, 24, 28

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

hmm she herself thinks success is more important to her but when u think abt it. it’s actually happiness. she wants nothing more than to find the place she fits

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

normally she deals with it quite well bc she comes across different forms of confrontation all the time but sometimes u catch her in just the wrong moment and she panics and does smth very stupid

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

remove the problem/threat. Bye Bye,

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

they don’t really get nightmares much! this is something they are very grateful for.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

wisdom. ambition can be great but hhh they’re surrounded by people who have Too Much of it and theyre sick of the messes it causes sometimes

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

they compare themselves to their friends a lot bc they feel like they’re not doing enough or not pulling their weight? like. they’re supposed to be one of the most capable of all of them but they keep ending up being a burden 

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

nope she’s an only child! and she’s not close to her family emotionally or physically (she moved halfway around the world and they didn’t even notice until a couple days later)

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

her memory’s p great in general but names slightly more so than faces

22. What does your character like in other people?

intelligence and a sense of humour! a juicy backstory or secret also interests her greatly. um also if you in any way resemble a computer you’re her new fave

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

they often act as though they’re blaming themself but tbh most of the time they’re quite reasonable. they’ll take ownership if they know it’s their fault but they’re not afraid to blame others if they think that’s the truth

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

people who chew with their mouth open! GROSS

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

mmm probably their status…

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

fool. he knows no fearalso the real answer is lowkey a spoiler

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

i can’t think of any specific time but he’s calm in a lot of situations that most people wouldn’t be bc he just. has a smart noggin and knows how to deal with most stuff

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

he got lots of Smart Person Stuff bc he was a child prodigy but… he just wanted soft plushy stuffed toys 

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

he has and his first target was an actual practice target in training — his aim isn’t as great as it could be but it’s less important for him bc he usually just sits behind computers most of the time

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

really quick but that’s largely bc he doesn’t like. care

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

he won’t usually be the one to throw the first punch but he’ll do his best to throw the second third and fourth

#i never draw them but i love these ocs so much fskndnskf #theyre v self indulgent. theyre so dumb but i love them #ocs