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matrixreimagined · 3 years

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The Dream Chronicles

Chapter Six on A03

or right here :)

"Come on, coppertop. Flying in the Matrix doesn't mean shit if you can't support your own weight in the real world. Five more."

Neo dipped down again, feeling his arms quake as he grew closer to the floor before he forced himself back up. And again. And again. The sweat beaded on his brow dripped to the steel floor. His arms and abdomen and legs were aching for five minutes of just sitting down. He'd be happy to collapse. But Apoc must have been a drill sergeant in another life because the man knew exactly which buttons to push.

You think Trin deserves a weak, scrawny kid who can barely muster his way through a pull-up? You think she's going to want someone who can only embrace her with the floppy-noodle arms of an infant?

Fuck that.

Neo let his arms take his weight and ignored the quiver of his abdomen while he closed his eyes and pictured hers. There was no waking up from this, he had accepted. This was real. The dreams he had lived for had become his reality and he would be damned if he didn't do everything in his power to keep it.

Neo inhaled has he dipped down a final time before forcing himself back up. He let out a small gasp as he allowed his knee to make contact with the floor.

"Well done," Apoc said, tossing a towel at him.

Neo brushed away the sweat before trading it for a water bottle. "Please tell me we're done for the day?"

"Why?" Apoc quirked a brow. "Think you got enough in you for another round?"

Neo decided silence was the best course of action.

Apoc shot him a grin. "Don't worry. My goal is to push your limits. Not break them. Because you'll be doing this tomorrow, too."

"Great." He took a long gulp. "Love this. Super fun."

"I take it you have no memories of this?"

"What? Basic training? Calisthenics? Can't say I do."

"It won't be forever. Just until you're at a healthy mass. Think you could eat lunch?"

"Eating it won't be the problem. I'm worried about holding it down."

"We can forgo lunch for now. Want to take a nap before you get your Matrix crash courses?"

Desperately, but he shook his head in denial anyway. He'd slept long enough. "No. I'm good to start. I want to catch back up to where I was. Or, where I should be, I guess."

That was going to take a while, he knew. While his dreams had given him enormous insights into the world around him, every member of the crew looked at him like a stranger. Even Trinity did not know him the way that he knew her.

Yes, she was welcoming. The undeniable chemistry between them was alive and real. And the crew were largely trying to not make him feel like an outsider, but the fact remained they didn't know him.

He could recite one of Dozer's kids' favorite story books cover to cover. He knew Tank's anniversary and that Apoc collected old-world trinkets. He knew that Switch would slouch when they had a winning hand at poker and Morpheus was a worse liar than Neo was. But they did not know him.

And they wouldn't. Not until he had reintroduced himself. Not until he listened to them all, relearning what he knew. He would be a stranger until he relearned himself.

"Are you absolutely sure you don't want to take a short break?"

"Positive," said Neo, rising to his feet. "Besides, I'll just be in the chair anyway. I'll relax my muscles and work my brain."

Apoc led the way out of the makeshift gym in the engine room and back to the main level. Trinity was sitting on a stool near the operating station examining the screens intensely.

She turned at the sound of steps and offered a smile when she saw them. "How did it go?" she asked Apoc.

"Amazingly. Honestly, I've never had a coppertop do so well in the first week, let alone the first day."

Neo looked at him incredulously. "Seriously? You gave me so much shit about how I was doing!"

Apoc smirked. "Well, a pat on the back wasn't going to help you do better, Messiah."

"You'll sleep like a baby tonight," said Tank. "You want to take a break before you start this?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm ready to start."

"All right. Trin, can you get him set up?" Tank spun around back to the computer and opened a case with a bunch of small drives. "I know you already remember a lot but your girl wants us to cover your bases." He held up one that had Jiu-Jitsu crammed across it in red ink and ensured that Neo was indeed plugged in and ready to go. "Hold on."

A sharp pulse went through his body, tensing him up. He felt impossibly stiff as a rush of information entered his system and then it was gone, leaving him thrown back and limp. And breathed in and shuddered. "Oh shit."

"Hey Mikey, I think he likes it." Tank gave him a grin, but his eyes flashed to Trinity. She smirked and swept his brow.

"How do you feel?"

"Shit, that's a rush."

"Feel up for another?"

"Hell yes." He leaned back. "Hell yes."

Kung Fu.

Karate.

Aikido.

Taekwondo.

Krav Maga.

Fencing.

Arnis.

Boxing.

Kickboxing.

Drunken boxing.

Quarterstaff.

Judo.

It went on and on, hour by hour. Every offer of a break from Tank was denied. He kept going, desperate to regain the parts of his memories that were lost.

Morpheus came by when dinner had passed without a sign of Tank, Trinity, or Neo.

"How's he doing?" Morpheus asked.

"He's a freaking machine," Tank said, rubbing at his own eyes. "Not even tired from this. The only reason we're stopping in the next half hour is because Mamacita over here is insisting."

Trin whacked him upside the head and Tank winced even as he grinned.

Morpheus looked at Trinity. "Can I ask what your plan is?"

"Day divided into real world and construct for the next few days. He's physically training with Apoc, who insists he's doing well. I think with the speed at which he can handle the trainings, he should be done in two days with operations, combat, and first aid. From there, we can divide time in the construct between vehicular and stealth trainings and practice within the construct. Open world—drop him in and see what he can do and go from there."

It was a thorough plan though Morpheus quirked a brow. "Hmm."

"You disagree?" she asked, not unkindly.

"No. It makes sense. I'm just surprised you're choosing to have him spend so much time in training."

"Like I said, Morpheus, it's not the training itself that I disagree with. He needs just as much as any newbie. But Neo has an advantage in speed and that will be utilized."

Neo, whose eyes had been fluttering as he learned to stitch, cauterize, and otherwise close a wound, blinked back into reality. He exhaled sharply. His eyes opened and he caught Morpheus' gaze.

"Neo," the captain addressed, "how are you holding up?"

"I know what moves were missing in my mind," he replied, his lips twitching into a smile. "I know Kung Fu."

"Just a few more programs and first aid will be done," Trinity told him as Tank switched the drives. "We'll stop there for the day."

Neo nodded and smiled at her before Tank inserted the next lesson and, once again, Neo's eyes fluttered through a new program.

"Truly astounding," Morpheus murmured, watching the screen that monitored Neo's brain as the new information was uploaded.

"I've never seen a poddie adjust like this," Tank said with a disbelieving shake of the head. "This point, we're usually still getting the kid to trust us enough to upload something and if we're lucky enough to get them in the chair, they can barely handle an hour at this."

"He's doing well." Trinity handed Tank the next disk in the program sequence, allowing Neo to remain completely wired in while his brain recalibrated itself with the new information.

"Doing well?" Tank said. "Trin, your boyfriend is freaking out of control."

"Still human," she repeated the small phrase that had somehow become her mantra over the past days. Yes, Neo knew more than any poddie had ever known. Yes, his skills were already unparalleled. But she'd be damned if that was all he was reduced to.

"Ain't denying it," said Tank, "which is kind of what makes this all so incredible."

Trin gave a slight nod. "Just make sure it stays remembered when we get to Zion. I don't know what's going to be worse—the Council or the military."

"None of it will be pretty. You'll have your work cut out for you."

"That's why I want him in shape as soon as possible. Aside from the obvious reasons. Neo is going to need to be able to take care of himself so that we can deal with the backlash of finding the One."

"It might not be so bad. Most people will be happy."

"Happy or angry don't help me. Happy will be excited, intrusive. He's as anti-social as they come. He won't like being the center of attention. And angry? He'll be dealing with the backlash of the disbelievers of the world, pushing him down without knowing a goddamn thing about him. The only people who will actually help us are going to be the apathetic ones."

"Keep some faith, sister." Tank placed his hand on her arm. "We found the One. That's pretty damn amazing."

She shot him a smile before turning her attention back to Neo's brain scans.

Morpheus shook his head. "We really did it. Decades of searching and he's only feet away from us."

Trin ran her hand through her hair.

Morpheus, Tank... honestly everyone was so damned excited that they had found him.

And it wasn't that she wasn't.

Trinity could not deny the way her heart pounded just being feet away from him, nor the way her skin practically ached to be in contact with his, always. When he had been training with Apoc, she had to force herself to focus on the routine maintenance she had been working because all she wanted to do was go to him.

Even though she knew where he was, she had wanted to track him down and not let him walk from her sight.

What made it worse was that the feeling was mutual.

He didn't just cling to her because she was familiar. In a way, they all were to Neo.

It was so much deeper than that.

Neo had woken up without her just a day ago and had wrecked half of the medbay because she hadn't been there.

Through and through. Balls to bone.

Isn't that what the Oracle had said all those years ago?

She fought the urge to laugh. The Oracle certainly never mentioned anything like this.

"You okay, Trin?"

Tank and Morpheus both eyed her with the same look of concern. She offered a smile.

"Just thinking." Without any real explanation, Trin turned her attention back to the screen. "How much more does he have to go in this stack?"

"Maybe thirty minutes."

Trinity nodded. "All right. Once this stack is finished, he's taking a break. I don't care if he can handle more."

"You got it."

"I'll be back." And it took her more effort than she'd like to admit to not flat out run from the room and to her room. Their room.

She leaned against the door, letting out a long breath.

Overwhelmed, both by the fact that they had actually found him and by everything that Neo seemed to know, she crossed to the small sink. Turning the faucet, she splashed cold water onto her face.

Even leaving the Core to take five goddamn minutes to reassess had her on edge. It felt wrong.

She had lived without him for years and now leaving him under Tank's perfectly capable care had her ready to punch the glass in front of her.

Trinity turned the faucet off, leaning forward against the sink.

Did her heart always beat so heavily?

Her body quaked.

Neo knew her intimately. The books next to her bed. The ink on her body. Every single place where the smallest touch would have her gasping against him. It shouldn't be possible but there was no denying it.

Her chest felt tight, her head was pounding.

Ans his memories… What did he know? What had he seen?

Some of them were conflicting, it seemed, but they all focused on her.

The Oracle had said nothing about that.

Her breaths began to come faster and faster.

He loved her; he had said in his moments of clarity after arriving on the ship.

Did he? Or did he love a memory of her?

There was a loud creak and she wanted to push up and look behind her, but her muscles were frozen.

She inhaled through her nose, but each breath was still short.

There was a thud of the door closing and two arms wrapped around her from behind.

"It's all right," Neo whispered gently, pulling her back into his chest.

The world seemed to be slipping from her fingers but he was firm in his grip, holding her upright. He stepped back, nearly dragging her with him as he guided her back to the bed softly. "It's okay, Trin."

He sat down, pulling her to his lap. It took little effort. She fell back into him with ease even as her breathing continued to come in heavy pants.

With one hand, he held her steadily to him. With the other, he gently caressed her as he kept whispering sweet assurances. "You're safe. I'm here. I've got you."

His words and ministrations didn't stop. She tucked her head into the crevice of his neck and breathed in his scent. There was still the tinge of antiseptic but there was something rich and earthy underneath it. Warm and gentle and so utterly Neo.

She felt a kiss atop her head.

"I'm never letting go," he whispered and the doubt started to slip away at last.

Her breathing slowly came back down and she let out a long breath.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

She swallowed. Wasn't she supposed to be the one comforting him?

"I don't know." And Christ, had she ever sounded so weak and unsure? She was one breath away from a whimper. "It's so much."

His grip tightened and he held her closer. "I know, love. I'm so sorry."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now."

"You feel what you feel, Trin. You don't need to feel anything."

"Not feeling isn't the problem," she said with a shake of her head. "I feel… so much right now. More than I ever have in my life and I don't know how to make sense of it." She sighed softly, leaning back to get a better view of the man who was undoubtedly the One. "Aren't you supposed to be finishing up the programs?"

Neo offered a small smile. "Asked Tank to take me out. Something felt off."

He wasn't talking about the program.

Trinity swallowed. "Hooked up to the Construct, you felt me having a panic attack?"

"I knew something was wrong," he said, his eyes staring at her with such concern and such adoration that it was hard to take in. "I didn't know what. Told Tank I wasn't feeling well"— thank god for small favors, she thought—"and came to find you."

Her lower lip quivered. Oh.

"I know…" Neo looked torn. "I know that this isn't easy for you. I… can't imagine what you are going through right now. And I'm not making it easy. Even now"—he sighed and shook his head ever so softly—"I'm not making this easy. If you want me to go, if you need space from me—"

"I don't." It came so quickly it surprised Trinity but it was true. "I don't want you to go. I don't want to be away from you. I don't want a moment to go by where I'm not touching you but"—she raked her hand through her hair harshly before continuing—"Jesus, I… I don't know you, Neo. But I do. And I need you and I don't know how that's possible." She looked into his eyes, the words spilling from her faster without leaving a moment to breathe. "I can't make sense of this. I don't know you, but you are so familiar to me. Every step away from you, even to let you train, makes my skin crawl but that shouldn't—"

Neo cupped the back of her head and brought his face to meet hers.

She kissed him back, lips slowing to allow for a hundred gentle but desperate kisses to pass. She angled her head, twisting in his arms to straddle his lap. Her hands traced up his torso, stopping only to cup his face.

Neo was hers.

"Why?" she asked, pulling back before placing another kiss on his lips, "Why does it feel like I'll die"—she pressed her forehead to his—"if you're taken from me?"

Neo shook his head softly enough so that she was undisturbed in their current position together. "I don't know. I wish I could give you the answers."

"You are mine," she breathed, the declaration like a prayer.

"I am." He tucked her hair back. "And you are mine."

"We don't even know each other," she whispered, "dreams and shadows aside."

"We'll learn," Neo promised, "but you cannot deny that this is more than just dreams and shadows." He pulled back and kissed her forehead. "It doesn't all need to make sense, Trin."

She offered a small smile. "Everyone is so excited about finding the One and all I want to do is lock you away so no one can touch you."

"Except you."

"Except me," she agreed, lightly stroking his face.

He kissed her nose and her lips once more. "I'm just saying, if you want to tie me to the bed and never let me up, I wouldn't be opposed."

She cracked a smile. "I'm sure you wouldn't."

With a gentle shove to the shoulders, she sent him down onto the bed. Neo grinned as his head hit the pillow.

"Finally going to have your wicked way with me?"

Trinity laughed, leaning down with him. "Shut up."

"Make me."

And she did. With a smile, leaning down to capture his lips. Soft and slow. There was no need to rush.

They had time.

The world could keep moving at the speed of light, but they didn't have to. Not when there were moments like this.

"Are we happy?" she asked, leaning against his chest.

Neo wrapped his arms around her and rolled her to her back, kissing her as he did.

"Deliriously."

She smiled and traced his brow with her finger, "Good."

Trinity pushed her hand around his head and wrapped her it around his neck, gently pulling him down to meet her in another kiss.

A sigh escaped her as their lips touched. Familiar and beautiful, he kissed her with a desperation that rocked Trinity to her core.

Years of waiting on her part and dreams on his, finally culminating in reality. How had she lived so long without this, without him? It was unfathomable.

Neo broke the kiss, only to hug her tighter.

"I'm sorry things are so confusing."

"It's not your fault."

"I know." He caressed her face. "I'm still sorry."

"We'll figure things out," she told him with a sense of renewed optimism.

Neo narrowed his eyes, looking thoughtful. For a minute, he stared at her. Then, he pushed up to a sitting position, taking Trinity with him.

"I want to do this right," Neo said. "I don't—I don't want things with us to be based on a dream-world."

"Okay." She wasn't entirely certain what that meant.

"I'd like to take you out on a date."

Trinity blinked. "We're on a hovercraft, Neo."

"A modified date then."

She wondered if her cheeks were flushed again. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I go hit the showers—" She laughed at his candor, but Neo continued, "Then, we get takeout from the mess hall, and we just stay in tonight. And talk, just the two of us."

And it just wasn't fair, Trinity thought, how fucking perfect he was. He'd been taken from the Matrix, told his entire life was a lie, and his concern still lay with her. On making her feel good and safe.

Swallowing, Trinity nodded. "I think that sounds perfect."

"Okay," he agreed, leaning forward to kiss her. "I'll be back in twenty."

"I'll be here," she promised, and Neo rewarded her with a heart-stopping grin. Oh.

He recalled, without a problem, where the towels were kept and grabbed one. He walked over to the drawer which contained her yarn and trinkets and stopped himself before he opened it. He glanced back to her. "Where would I find fresh clothes?"

"Morpheus had planned on putting you in the room next to his. There should be spare clothes in there."

"Thanks, love." Neo bent down and kissed her head before he left to head to the washroom.

She wondered, when the door had closed behind him, if he noticed the endearment.

Trinity rose to her feet. While Neo showered, she'd get their dinner ready so neither of them had to go back out. Keep things simple that way. Luckily, she thought, nearly everyone else would have already eaten so the mess wouldn't be too crowded.

She slipped down the hall. Sure enough, only Tank was present when she walked in.

"Coming to join me?" he asked.

"Just grabbing dinner for me and Neo. We're going to eat in our room."

Our room. It slipped out before she had even stopped to think about it.

For the thirteen years she had been on the Neb, it had been her room. Her private space, where she could and did go to get away from everyone else when the world seemed to be too much to manage. She spent more time in that room than in her apartment in Zion, which Trinity supposed was also their apartment.

Why was it so easy to make that transition from me to us?

Tank grinned at her. "Oh really? Quiet night in, just the two of you?"

She really hated how much she was blushing these days. But, a part of her, the giddy and excited part, shrugged a shoulder.

"He says it's a modified date. Since we're on the Neb and can't really go anywhere."

She half-expected the Operator to make a joke but instead he just shook his head. "That's freaking adorable."

"I know!" She found two mugs and started to prepare their teas, adding, "It's almost… unnerving."

Tank stood up, walking with his bowl to stand at the little counter next to her. "Which part? Being treated like a princess? Or the fact we finally found the One and he is already completely and utterly whipped by you?"

Her lips twitched. "Ooh, I'm going to have to go with both."

"Fair enough. And for the record, since I know you've been waiting with bated breath, I approve."

"Oh, do you?"

"Hundred and ten percent, yes. I know he has memories of you, in some obscure way, but I like that he's still making an effort. It's like, he's the One—the guy who's going to save Zion and the world. And he is still living and breathing to make you happy."

He was that, Trinity thought. She could see it on his face, the way he lit up when she came into view. The way he always moved, however casually, closer to her.

It was more than familiarity. He was familiar with everyone on the crew, but he made her feel so damn special.

"It sounds unbelievable when you say it like that," she said as she grabbed a tray and started to fill two bowls.

"So absurd that it has to be real."

With a smile, she picked up the tray. "See you tomorrow."

"As your friend, have fun. As the guy who bunks in the room next to you, please don't have too much fun."

Trinity rolled her eyes. "Good night, Tank."

"Bet it will be."

She transitioned the tray to one hand and shot him her middle finger over her shoulder as she went back to their room.

Ships had been designed for utility, not for comfort. For that reason, Trinity knew that there wasn't much she could do to brighten the room up.

That said, she unlocked the little table from where it was strapped to the wall and moved it so that it was next to the bed. She quickly found a spare blanket and set it across the table as a makeshift cloth, before setting their dinners side by side.

She was nervous. Actually fucking nervous, which seemed almost silly to her.

Trinity rarely got nervous in the Matrix. And while fear occasionally bubbled up when they met a sentinel on a search and destroy mission, it felt far more justifiable than this.

Nervous over dinner.

A date, at that.

She ran a hand through her hair and wondered if there was anything else, she could do to make the room look… nice. Nicer, at least. There were candles on the Neb, but they were supposed to be saved in the event of an emergency or power loss. This was neither, but she wondered if she could get away with taking just one…

She was saved from having to make a decision when the door opened. Neo slipped back inside, dressed in a fresh set of slacks and a blue sweater. He'd found one with minimal wear and tear. It was well-fitted. He looked really good.

She wondered if she should have changed but the thought quickly vanished from her mind as Neo grinned at her.

"Looks great."

Trin found herself smiling back. "Making do on the Neb." Spying a bottle in his hand, she asked, "Is that Dozer's homebrew?"

Neo nodded. "Stopped by his room on the way over. It's no bottle of wine but it'll do."

Smirking, Trin added, "Just go easy. A sip of that can knock Mouse on his ass."

"Don't worry. I have no intentions of getting drunk. I just thought it might help us both to relax a bit."

He closed the space between them, setting the bottle on the table. In their small room, it didn't take much.

He caught her chin in his hand and angled her face up. She expected him to kiss her, but he didn't. Instead, Neo just seemed to be soaking in her sight.

It was only a bit disconcerting, but she still shivered under his gaze.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Neo…"

He really shouldn't be allowed to say things like that, she thought. It wasn't fair, the way he could make a statement and just demolish every single wall she had spent a lifetime carefully constructing.

"I still can't believe you're real," he admitted.

"Very real," Trinity promised.

Finally, he bowed his head, pressing his lips to hers.

They were still so soft and not used to the coldness on the Neb. Warm and assured, his kiss made her a little weak in the knees. Again, she had to remind herself that while Neo was familiar to her, he knew her completely. He knew her body intimately.

And that was an intimidating thought.

With a peck to her lips, Neo broke the kiss. He stroked her cheek with his thumb before dropping his hand, reaching for hers. He led her over to the bed, carefully sliding in so as not to disturb the table she had set up.

He waited for her to sit first. Despite their earliest encounters, in which Neo had thought himself dreaming, he was proving to be quite the gentleman. Which fit in with everything she had seen from him prior to meeting him.

In the Matrix, Neo had been such a gentle creature. It had really thrown her for a loop. Usually, when Morpheus found an individual he believed to be the One, they were characterized by blind ambition or strength.

For a while, Morpheus had even thought she could be the One.

The Oracle had shut that down fast with her revelation. She hadn't been disappointed to not be the One. Truthfully, she was grateful not to have the burden of all that placed on her own shoulders but then the Oracle had hit her with the rest.

Entwined with the One, bound to the One.

A thought that had been so much more frightening before she met Neo.

The moment they started watching him, she knew he was different than the usual potentials Morpheus chose. After just one night on duty, she realized very quickly that she would have to either lie to herself or accept that they had found the One.

Still, nothing could have prepared her for the night in the club.

Her world had spun on its axis exponentially faster and she no longer knew what direction she was going in. And she could not bring herself to care.

Neo opened Dozer's homebrew and poured a hearty shot into each of their teas.

He handed her the first mug as he set down the bottle. Then lifted his own.

"To what's real," he toasted, and she raised her cup, echoing his sentiment. They clinked their mugs together. She took a large gulp, feeling her nerves building.

Because now he was here. In her room. He was sleeping in her bed. Tangling his life with hers until she was no longer sure which strings belonged to him and which were hers.

Neo, on the other hand, seemed to be sipping at his beverage. Probably for the best. He had no tolerance to the heavy stuff yet.

She set her mug back down and caught Neo's eyes.

It really wasn't fair that he was so handsome.

"So, what were you up to while I was being put through basic training?" Neo handed her a bowl.

Trinity rolled her eyes. "Basic training?"

"Apoc is a drill sergeant."

She felt herself grin in response. "I'll be sure to pass on the message."

"Oh, please don't. I like being able to move my limbs." He took his own bowl and dramatically demonstrated being able to lift his spoon. Trinity found herself laughing in response, still in awe of the man in front of her.

"I was running repairs most of the morning," she answered after swallowing a bite. "Then I had to do some paperwork. Respond to a communication from Commander Lock."

Neo barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. "What did Deadbolt want?"

Her lips twitched at the nickname used on a man Neo technically hadn't actually met yet. "Yesterday, I sent in the new red pill paperwork, which is standard for whenever we unplug anyone. Lock wanted to know why we pulled someone of your age out of the Matrix."

"And what did you tell him?"

"Half-truths. Agents were after you, limited time to make a decision, and we assessed that it was better for your safety to take you than to leave you in the Matrix. I'm sure by the time I check the communications tomorrow he'll have sent another message but there's nothing he can do about it."

"Quite literally too late," Neo agreed. "I'm not sure how much of what I know actually translates into this world, but I'll give you fair warning: Lock does not like me."

Trinity found herself unable to stop smiling as they conversed. "Lock doesn't like anybody."

"Which is perfect, because you won't find anybody who likes Lock." Neo paused. "Maybe I shouldn't pass judgement until I actually meet him in the real world. I mean, I technically have no real reason to hold as much animosity as I do for him."

"Sounds sweet," Trinity said. "I give you an hour in Zion before you change your mind."

Neo shrugged. "For Niobe's sake, I'll give him a chance." Then he paused and sighed. "It has occurred to me that I technically haven't met Niobe, either."

"No."

And fuck, it was confusing for her because he talked about all these people like he knew them. He had memories that weren't real, both from the Matrix and from his subconscious and Trinity wasn't sure if one was more valid than the next.

"It sounds like you're remembering more," she commented.

"Some things are still hazy," Neo admitted. "But the dreams are becoming a little bit clearer. Everything is."

"You were on a large dose of painkillers while we were working on you. It might have kept you a bit groggy."

Neo nodded. "Maybe. But I also think I'm just remembering more. Before… so much of what I dreamed almost seemed to disappear when I was waking. The dreams with you were easy to recall because I had them so many times that they became more habit than dream, but the other ones… it's like, the more time I spend with the crew, the more I'm remembering."

"It's a lot to process."

Again, he nodded. "But let's not talk about that. Why don't you tell me about being unplugged?"

"You don't already know?"

"Bits and pieces," he admitted. "Still, I'd like to hear you tell it."

"It was shortly after I hacked the IRS…"

"Which, if I haven't told you, is incredibly hot."

She shot him a half-hearted glare. "I was fifteen."

"To be fair, I was the same age at the time."

"But you hadn't picked up hacking yet."

"True." Although he was interested in computers, he hadn't been able to afford his own until college. "Why the IRS? I mean, at fifteen you weren't paying taxes."

Trinity shrugged a shoulder and set down her mostly eaten dinner back on the table. She leaned back scooting back across the bed until she hit the wall. "Because no one had done it before. Because I hated the government. Because… I was fifteen and stupid?"

"Clearly not stupid." Neo set his own bowl down before scooting back to sit next to her, against the wall.

She smiled at that. "I was impulsive. And I didn't fully think through the consequences of my actions. I was a freshman in high school by day and a top-10 FBI's most wanted cyber-terrorist by night. It was… a strange time."

Neo smiled softly back, the fondness in his eyes nearly made her lose her breath.

"I bet."

She looked down, unable to handle his gaze. It made her light-headed. "I, uh, I was walking home from the library one day, when a car pulled up next to me. Agents, although I didn't know what that meant, at the time. They told me I was under arrest and to get into the car and I made a break for it.

"At that point, Morpheus had been monitoring me for a couple months. He was reluctant to take me out because I had a good relationship with my family. Typically, he tried to only take kids who wouldn't be missed or people with fewer social ties.

"He had been debating whether to take me for a while but once the Agents targeted me, he made a snap decision. He was already in my city; his crew was taking out another potential."

"Ghost." Neo filled in the blank.

"Yes. He separated from his crew and went after me. I, quite literally, ran into him. It all happened very fast. He told me he could show me what was wrong with the world. That he could tell me what the Matrix was, once and for all, but that it wouldn't be easy. I would lose my life in the process. That if I went with him, I could never go home."

She hesitated. It had been a long time since she truly allowed herself to think back to her life before the Matrix.

Morpheus had been right. It hadn't been easy to walk away from her family without so much as a goodbye. To abandon the life she had carefully constructed, even as a teenager.

But Trinity had craved answers. She had wanted, more than anything, to fill the hole in her chest that consumed her.

Knowing about the Matrix hadn't done that. If anything, it just made the world feel colder. It made sense, of course. She had her answers, had a better understanding for the world around her.

And then the Oracle had called.

Normally, under usual circumstances, going to see the Oracle was a choice. Some people wanted insight or answers beyond what Morpheus or Zion could provide for them. They wanted clarity or reason or something to help them navigate their new world.

Trinity had been skeptical of the very idea of an all-seeing Oracle.

When Morpheus had told them, Ghost had been eager to see her and learn more. And Trinity had, politely, declined.

Before Ghost and Morpheus could even jack back into the Matrix, they received a message from one of the Oracle's priestesses.

A brief note, acknowledging Trinity's disbelief and reluctance, but asking, nonetheless, for her attendance for tea.

Fucking tea.

And while she had still been nervous, still unsure, Morpheus had pushed her.

"It's a great honor for the Oracle to request one's presence," he had told her.

So, she went.

For tea. And cookies. And a conversation with a grandmotherly woman who successfully fucked her up in a matter of minutes.

The result of which, Trinity realized, was now sitting in front of her.

"You must have been frightened."

"Terrified," she admitted, before realizing that Neo wasn't talking about the Oracle, but about taking the red pill. She thought back to the moment where Morpheus had held a pill on either outstretched hand.

Neo's hand found its way to her thigh, squeezing gently in support.

"I—I've never regretted my choice. But it was hard to leave my family. And I didn't have time to fully process what it would mean before I took the pill."

"You were fifteen," he reminded her. "It's hard to understand anything at fifteen." Neo stopped, his eyes widening a fraction almost in surprise. Trinity inclined her head, unsure what was going on in his head.

"What's wrong?"

"Fifteen," he repeated.

"Yeah?"

Neo swallowed. "Was it summer?"

"Yes." She narrowed her eyes.

"That was about the time that the dreams started."

Her own eyes widen, her lips parting. "O-oh."

"I… is that possible? No, no, that can't be right."

"Given the circumstances, I'm not sure I can classify this as coincidence or synchronicity."

He was silent, looking down, like he was trying to process it all.

Welcome to the club.

She wondered if she should resist the urge to close the space between them, to allow them each the space to process it all.

Fuck it, she decided instead.

Trinity rolled to her knees, following through before she could change her mind. She leaned forward, reaching for his face, angling his head up to kiss him.

She still didn't know what it all meant but she was certain that she felt more at home in his arms than she ever had in the Matrix, the Neb, or even Zion.

Neo's hand wound its way into her hair, cupping her head, as his other arm circled her. He pulled her closer and she found herself climbing onto his lap. He hummed his approval, the vibration of his lips making her nearly dizzy.

And it's like, all at once, the hole inside of her chest was gone.

"Trin…" he said her name in a desperate voice, kissing her again until they were both breathless.

He had been dreaming about her for fifteen years. It had never occurred to him that his dreams could be based in reality. That Trinity, his Trinity, was real.

She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his.

"I'm so afraid," Neo whispered, "that every time I open my eyes, you're going to be gone. That this is just an elaborate dream or maybe I got hit by a car on my way home from work and this is just a coma."

"I'm here," she told him, squeezing harder. "You're awake and this is real."

"Can I… can I just hold you for a while? While we talk?"

She nodded, her lips twitching. Trinity slipped to the side so that she was sitting across his lap rather than straddling him. Neo rewrapped his arms around her as she settled, resting her head on his shoulder.

She placed a hand on his chest. The steady beat of his heart was strangely comforting "Tell me about when they started."

He slipped a hand under her shirt, feeling her skin. It wasn't sexual, she knew. It was meant to ground him the same way her hand over his heart was helping her remain steady.

"The first dream I remember was the club where we met. And I remember it feeling so surreal. I didn't understand half of the words I was saying but I remember you. You warned me that people were after me and told me that there were answers out there."

"You must have been confused."

Thinking back, he hadn't been confused. At fifteen, his first reaction to dreaming of a beautiful woman pressing against his body was to wake up with a physical reaction, which he had immediately taken care of.

He probably shouldn't comment on that.

"At first, I thought it was just a random dream. Collection of my subconscious and all that. But I kept having different dreams. Some in the Matrix, the others on the Neb, or in Zion. It was all too… detailed.

"I used to take the bus to one of the local colleges in high school to be able to use their computer. I'd try to find things about you, but after the IRS, it was like you were wiped from the map.

"But I found leads on the Matrix. Nothing I could access, but ghosts and whispers pointing me in the right direction."

Toward you.

His hand rubbed circles on her back as he continued. "It was too chaotic to make sense but there were too many coincidences to let it go. After a while, I thought I was going crazy."

She couldn't blame him. She'd think the same thing if their position was reversed.

"You really thought you were dreaming that night in the club."

Neo nodded. "I'd had that dream so many times before. It felt real, but it always felt real, you know? Like I was going through the motions of the dream, waiting to find out which version I was in for."

"Hence, propositioning me?" she teased.

Neo half-laughed, half-sighed. "Yeah, I did that, didn't I? I'm really sorry about that. I can't imagine how confusing that must have been for you."

"It was… unexpected to say the least. We weren't going in with the plan to unplug you that day."

"I'm glad you did."

"Me too." She nuzzled her head against his shoulder, snuggling into his embrace. "Even if I did catch a lot of shit for it."

"Did you?" He sounded almost amused.

"Are you kidding? I kissed you while you were still plugged into the Matrix."

"Twice."

She lifted her head off his shoulder to shoot him a look.

"Uh-huh. Even fucking Morpheus got in on teasing me."

Neo grinned all the more. "Yeah, well, I like it when you're flustered. And flushed." His hand cupped her cheek and, right on cue, felt her face heat up.

"You do seem to have that effect on me."

"And this is while I'm trying to be good." He leaned forward, bringing his cheek to hers to whisper in her ear. "Just imagine what it'll be like when I start to misbehave."

The teasing words sent a wave of warmth through her body faster and harder than Dozer's homebrew ever had. Oh, he should not be allowed to say things like that, she thought. And yet… a part of her was dying to know what he was like when he wasn't focused on being good.

She appreciated that he had slowed down, that he was truly trying to give up some of his control with what he knew by letting Trinity take control of the speed. But fuck…

The things he knew.

Part of her wanted to know it all and part of her wanted time to just stop so she could just lay down in his arms and not have to think about the rest. To ignore, just for a little while, that Neo was the One and that he was meant for great things. That the moment they left the safety of their bedroom, he would be forced to become a hero.

Neo kissed her cheek before he leaned back against the wall.

She didn't want to think about his mission or the expectations that were already starting to pile up on his shoulders. Instead, she wanted to just enjoy the night. His presence.

"Tell me about your life in the Matrix," she said.

And maybe, for a little while, they could leave the rest of the world behind.

He told her of his life. Of the job he hated and his nighttime activities. How he had to force himself not to spend every spare moment trying to sleep, to get back to her.

And, in turn, she told him about monitoring him. About sitting down at the computer, annoyed, at the start of her shift, only to leave at the end convinced that they had found him.

They talked until the ship went into its overnight stasis and the lights around them dimmed.

Trin caressed his face. "You look exhausted."

He shrugged it off. "I'm fine."

"You spent hours exerting yourself physically and mentally. Why don't you sleep?"

"Haven't I done enough of that?"

She read between his words, though she wasn't sure how she knew to. "I'll be here when you wake."

"I"—he hesitated—"can I stay?"

Her heart ached. It was his room, too. At least in his head, but he was still trying to give her space and control and everything else she might need to adjust and she adored him all the more for it.

She nodded and admitted, "I'd prefer it if you did."

Neo sighed, almost in relief.

She got up to move the table back to the wall, just in case any late-night sentinel activity forced the ship to jolt. Neo tugged back the covers as she did, climbing under and opening his arm for her to join him.

She slipped under, face to face, so she could see him. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her flush against him.

"Good night, Trin."

#the matrix #the matrix fanfiction #the Matrix has queue #the matrix fanfic #matrix fanfiction #neo x trinity #trinity (the matrix)#neo (the matrix)

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aworldoffandoms · 4 years

Note

Prompt no.10 Stop staring at him😂 For Ethan×MC

Authors Note: Hello! This Open Heart small ficlet is from this list of prompts.

So…this is my last drabble/ficlet or whatever you wanna call it and I’m actually kinda sad now. I had loads of fun writing them and I’m glad a lot of you enjoyed reading them all! If you want to see more feel free to send some random prompts to my inbox and I’ll see what I can do!

Thanks to @sanchita012 for this prompt! Hope you enjoy reading this! Lucky last! 😊

I also just want to thank each and every one of you who liked, reblogged and/or commented on all these prompt asks! It means a lot that you liked them. 💗

Prompt is: stop staring at him

Prompt is in bold.

P.S. I am no doctor or nurse or medical professional so any medical stuff that is mentioned in this fic is used lightly— I researched a bit but it is in no way accurate so please be aware of that.

***

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC [Nicolette Valentine]

Word Count: 1,686

Rating: G

Warnings: None. No angst. Some tension. And some tea being spilt.

Summary: Esme Ortega is Nicolette’s intern, yes, but that doesn’t stop her from giving Nicolette some advice that will make her feel a lot better. The tea has never been so hot!

I’m tagging my OH tag list but please let me know if you’d like to stay on it or would like to be removed.

Open Heart Tag: @senseofduties @polishchoicesfan @princess-geek @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @binny1985 @fanficnewbie @x-kyne-x@thefluffyphotographer @lilyofchoices @thecordoniandiaries @rainbowsinthestorm @cxld-play @jens-diamondchoices @malakbesharah @hopelessly-shipper @my-heart-beats-for-ya @landofenchantedwonder @sabrinahoffersonsworld @flyawayboo @stanathanxoox @oofchoices @thequeenofcronuts @heauxplesslydevoted @bi-cookie @kingliamsbish @trappedinfandoms @supercoolperson0808 @perriewinklenerdie @riverrune

***

SAGE ADVICE

“Doctor Valentine…?”

Nicolette stares at the chart in front of her, calculations and possible outcomes run through her head as she stares at her patient’s chart.

“Doctor Valentine!”

Nicolette’s head snaps up at her name, her eyes narrowing against the terse yell. “What?”

Her tone is short and harsh but she softens her expression when she finds her intern staring at her, a scowl on her face.

Doctor Esme Ortega puts her hands on her hips and raises her eyebrows at her boss’ clear lack of outside awareness. She’s noticed that over the past few months she’s worked as her intern. Nicolette’s smart but when she got involved with something it was almost impossible to pull her out of her thoughts.

Nicolette flips her patient’s file closed and heaves a sigh. “What’s up, Doctor Ortega?”

Esme glances down at her own patient file, the nerves in her stomach erupting but her face remains passive. Although she was tough, she still wants the approval of her superior.

“I wanted to get your opinion on my patient’s results before we go any further.”

Nicolette smiles and offers her hand for Esme to place the file into and she scans the notes and lab results as she goes.

“Hmm…you were right to bring this to me.”

Nicolette glances at the results a few moments longer before she glances up at her intern, a smile curving the side of her mouth, her eyes curious. “What I want to know is what should happen next in your own professional opinion. What is your next plan of action?”

Esme stares at her boss, her mind turning. She runs a hand through her hair as she speaks. “Uh. I think looking at the test results I want to put him on 5mgs of coumadin to reduce his blood clotting as he has a history with that, however, before I do that I want to order an echocardiogram and an MRI scan for him because he has been experiencing headaches as he said he’s been having them regularly and he didn’t notably react to my pink prick when I did a sensory test so I want to rule out a brain tumour.”

A burst of pride goes through Nicolette as she listens to her intern recount everything she plans to do to help her patient. She couldn’t be prouder of her.

Once Esme is done, Nicolette nods, signing off on the paper before handing it back to her. “Great work, Doctor Ortega. See that you do all that and then come page me when he’s going in for each and when the results are back we can set a plan for our next cause of action.”

Esme’s eyes light up in the excitement and she nods enthusiastically before heading off down the corridor. “Awesome! Thanks, Doctor Valentine. I’ll page you when he’s ready.”

Nicolette grins as Esme turns the corner and she shifts the stethoscope around her neck to sit more comfortably.

“Well, well. If I didn’t know any better I’d think that you and your intern are actually friends.”

Nicolette’s attention snaps over to the other side of the nurses’ station and a grin lifts her mouth as she rolls her eyes at her friend.

“Yes, unlike you, Jackie, I made an effort to build a rapport with my intern and actually teach her some things so she’d at least be half as good as me.”

Jackie rolls her eyes and laughs. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t rub it in. It’s not my fault I have an intern who can’t seem to stop smiling at everyone. It’s exhausting.”

Nicolette shrugs. “Your loss, Jackie. You never know what you might learn from them. Be open to the possibility.”

Jackie waves her off and Nicolette chuckles, making her way to the elevator to head up to the diagnostics office.

***

The day came at a snail’s pace and Nicolette sighs as she runs her hands through her hair before lifting it up and fastening the long auburn tendrils into a high bun atop her head.

Her intern had come and gone with the results of the echo and MRI scan which were clear and both had come up with a treatment plan that would see Doctor Ortega’s patient discharged within the week.

Nicolette stands at the nurses’ station, jotting down a few notes in some of her patient files. She checks the time on her wristwatch and sighs forlornly. Four more hours of this shift and then she can go home to her own warm bed and sleep for ten years.

It’s then that her eyes catch on a tall broad figure, his blue eyes focus on the small doctor five feet smaller than him. Nicolette would laugh at the comical sight but she’s too busy staring at the back of Ethan’s imposing figure and she can’t help the excited pounding of her heart.

“Great job, Doctor Trinh. I want to see the results from this patient so page me when you come up with a solution.”

Sienna bounces on her feet and nods at Ethan.

“Of course, Doctor Ramsey! Come on, Mitch! Let’s go see your patient for another check-up!”

Ethan nods, turning on his heel to head back to his office, his steps slow however when he spots Nicolette’s eyes on him where he stops entirely. The air around him suddenly gets thicker and his skin tingles. He curls his hands into fists at the sensation, his hands working their way into his coat pockets.

She drives me goddamn crazy.

If there’s one thing Ethan can’t ignore it’s the hold Nicolette Valentine’s has over him. She has him in the palm of her hands and she can do whatever she wants with him and he’d gladly let her do it.

Ethan stands at the nurses’ station and nonchalantly checks his pager for any messages and finds nothing. He’s stalling, he knows it but he doesn’t want to leave just yet so he stands at the nurses’ station, idly chatting with Danny before his eyes flick up and find the emerald colour of Nicolette’s expressive eyes and his stomach flips.

The eye-contact is short but charged, a thrilling, electric moment of eyes meeting and it happens only in a few seconds before Ethan gives a tiny smirk and heads off in the other direction, leaving Nicolette behind, her cheeks on fire.

Unbeknownst to both Ethan and Nicolette, Doctor Esme Ortega had seen the charged exchange between the two even if it was only a few seconds. It was obvious they had chemistry and a rather large amount of it if the heated looks she witnessed a few times between them counted for anything.

Esme sidles up next to her boss and whispers underneath her breath, low enough for only Nicolette to hear. There is a touch of exasperation in her tone as she addresses her.

“Stop staring at him.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

Nicolette starts, her gaze ripping from Ethan’s retreating form and meeting Esme’s chocolate brown eyes. Esme gives her a flat look yet her stare is deliberate and pointed, yet her eyes confused. Not because of what’s happening but at the fact as to why these two weren’t doing anything about it.

Nicolette pulls her intern away from the gossiping nurses and down the corridor to an alcove which they’d be able to converse in semi-privacy if they kept their voices low enough.

Nicolette resists the urge to swallow nervously as she begins speaking. “I ask again…what are you saying?”

Esme sighs, crossing her arms along her chest. “Are you seriously pulling that card, right now? I don’t know why you want to lie to me but it’s getting monotonous seeing you both skirt around each other and exchange these longing glances when you think no one is looking. Plus, don’t even get me started on the small little touches. They’re just as meaningful as the looks you give each other.”

Dread fills her and she stares at Esme like a deer caught in headlights. “W-what? Don’t be ridiculous. There’s nothing going on between me a-and Doctor Ramsey.”

Esme sighs and shakes her head. “If you are worried about me saying anything, I won’t. I respect you. I respect your decisions. If you want to keep resisting whatever it is that’s between you….by all means, do it. I’m telling you now this won’t last for long. But, who am I to stop you? I’m a lowly intern.”

Nicolette opens her mouth to protest to speak but Esme continues, knowing what she was going to say.

“It’s not that hard to guess what’s going on between you two. The tension is palpable and I can feel it whenever you are in the room together, no matter how big or small. It’s like this bomb is about to explode or at least like the air is heavy and I can’t breathe. You both really need to sleep together before you both explode. It’s only going to get worse before it gets better. Just get it over with.”

Nicolette stares at Esme, her mouth hanging open. Nicolette is at a loss for words, so much so that they come out in a jumbled mess. “How? W-what? I don’t—”

There is a genuine smile on Esme’s face as she turns away from Niclotte, shrugging her shoulders as she steps out of the alcove. “I’m just observant like that, Doctor Valentine.”

To make Nicolette feel even worse Esme winks at her and mutters “Good luck!” as she saunters away, the diagnostic junior fellow staring after her, panic rising in her chest.

Oh shit…

Esme knows.

What is she going to do now?

#open heart #open heart 2 #open heart fanfiction #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #choices fanfiction #writing prompt #ask prompt #choices #playchoices

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irrevocably-delicious · 6 years

Text

A Brief History of LGBT+ Characters and Why the Death of Adam in Voltron is Worth Being Upset About

So uh.... Good morning.

So I think it’s pretty obvious by now that the reception to season 7 has been less than... good. The fan base has been shattered. People are upset, angry, and abandoning this series in droves (I’ve lost over 50 followers as I write this, just from people no longer wanting anything to do with this show) and have been incredibly vocal as to the reason why.

They killed Adam.

After two weeks of receiving praise for the relationship that was revealed at San Diego Comic Con, fans discovered on Friday night that Adam’s existence would be short lived, further contributing to this popular “Bury Your Gays” trope.

And I’ve seen people confused at this outcry. They don’t understand why people are so upset at this tiny side character’s death. What’s the big deal, right? It’s war! There’s supposed to be casualties!

And to that kind of response I have to narrow my eyes and go:

“Oh.... maybe you understand the history of this.”

Because it is a history. A rich one. “Bury your gays” isn’t a trope in the same why that “Fake dating” is a trope. It’s not popular out of coincidence and I feel like many people are ignorant of that, which is FAIR! Because most voltron fans are young, most tumblr users are young, so I don’t expect you to be watching documentaries on LGBT+ cinema in between studying for your chemistry exams.

So that’s where I come in. Buckle in children as I take you on a journey on why the “Bury your gays” trope exists, and the harmful ramifications that it has had on the LGBT+ community since its inception.

So lets go back. Way back to the 1920′s when homosexuality, or at least homosexuality adjacent themes were seen on screen.

A time where a bro could kiss his bro, and it was seen as heart wrenching and realistic (Wings, 1927). A time where Marlene Dietrich could wear a suit better than a man, and flirt and kiss a lady just because she fucking could (Morocco, 1930). A time where gender roles were a bit looser, and there wouldn’t be an outcry over such imagery.

But as the great depression continued, and film producers became desperate to get butts in seats at the cinema, these LGBT+ themes became outright explicit. Raunchy even. Used for titillation and shock value.

“Have you seen that new picture, Doris? The one where the roman emperor has the hot male sex slave?? Mmmmm scandalous!”

But with this rise of LGBT+ characters and interactions used for shock value, also came the rise of public outcry. The catholic church (those debbie downers) started boycotting films. This lead to the formation of the PRODUCTION CODE, which is a fancy way to say THE CODE THAT WILL NOW CENSOR THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FILMS in 1934.

Backed by catholic activists, the code made it impossible for LGBT+ representation to exist on film.

But did they?? See, this is actually were we start to see the development of “Queer coding”. Where actors and directors got savvy, and let you know a character was gay, whilst never explicitly stating so. It was subtle enough that it got past censors, but clear enough that audience members, especially LGBT+ people, got clued in.

Yeah Peter Lorre, you put that phallus shaped object next to your mouth a lot. They’ll get what your implying, don’t you worry.

Oh, I’m sorry.... did i say you couldn’t have LGBT+ characters?? My mistake, you totally fucking could. Explicitly even.... if they were the villain. Religious people were totally cool if the villain in your film was LGBT+, because to them, that’s what LGBT+ people were.... villains.

Film’s like Rebecca, Dracula’s Daughter, and Alfred Hitchcock’s Rope all centre around truly horrifying and despicable villains... who are all gay. LGBT+ villains became such a staple in horror films during this time that it lead to a whole near character archetype! We have the damsel in distress, the heroic soldier, the wise old man, now welcome the rise of the:

PSYCHO QUEER.

Yikes.

But why I’m talking about this so much is because this popularity in LGBT+ villains is what creates the “Bury your Gays” trope.

Because the villains.... always die.

It’s their comeuppance. Their karma. Of course bad people will die and the heroes will go one to live a happy life! But what crime are we punishing these villains for?

The message these movies gets across to their audiences is that “If you are gay, you are a bad person... and bad people deserve to die”. Because Gay and villain were so synonymous with each other, they become one in the same, and as we all know by now REPRESENTATION MATTERS.

This influences how society views LGBT+ people, so that in 1952, when the PRODUCTION CODE of YOU BETTER NOT CONDONE ANYTHING SINFUL IN HERE BECAUSE JESUS DOESN’T LIKE THAT is torn down, things still don’t get much better for LGBT+ representation.

LGBT+ characters no longer have to be villains, but society is still not super cool with LGBT+ people, so now we get a new archetype: The self hating tragic gay character. And often? These characters kill themselves, such as in 1961′s The Children’s Hour. Because this is palatable to audiences who do not condone homosexuality in any way, but watching an LGBT+ struggle with themselves? Watching them become overwhelmed by guilt and hatred until they decide that death is the only way out? How tragic! How cursed they are! How pitiful! How... marketable.

But to see LGBT+ characters end up happy? Audiences at this time would not have stomached it, because to them, being LGBT was immoral and these characters were not deserving of happiness. A good analogy might be how modern audiences would view a film with a drug addict character in it. The addict either succumbs to their addiction and dies tragically, or they “Go straight” and have a happy ending. For these audiences in the 50s and 60s the only happy ending was a straight ending.

Then in 1969 we get the Stonewall Riots, and in the 1970s things actually look alright.

That is until the 1980s and society finds a new reason to hate, fear and vilify LGBT+ people. The AIDS crisis wipes out lives and almost all positive representation in the media. This fear is echoed in film as LGBT+ people become villains again. Sleepaway Camp and Cruising are such examples.

The 90′s are better. Whilst mainstream cinema is still vilifying LGBT+ in the 80s, more positive independent films still exist, and the success of the 1991 documentary Paris is Burning prompts Hollywood to go “Hey... maybe we can get some money if we pander to these LGBT+ folks”.

There is a brief period in the 90s where gay comedies like The Birdcage, In and Out, and To Wong Foo are allowed to exist. They’re comedies. The stereotypes are played for laughs, but there is a level of joy and care with these movies where even though these characters are making us laugh... for once we’re not laughing at them. We love these characters. We want them to succeed. No. One. Dies.

It smells like progress. Finally.

Or at least it would. Because these films also exist in the same decade that Philadelphia wins Oscars and the musical Rent is winning Tonys. Both of these deal with the tragedy of the AIDS crisis and have main characters die from the disease. Am I going to point out that Rent has four characters suffering from AIDS, but the only one to die is the Trans-coded poc gay man? Yes. Yes I am. Meanwhile the heterosexual couple suffering from AIDS gets a happy ending.

Interesting.

I hate you Rent. I hate you so goddamned much.

Also the 90s sees a good return to queer-coding villains. It’s always been there. It’s never really gone away, but I need to talk about the queer coding of 90′s villains because I’m sure all of you will actually recognise them.

Ah. There They are. Queer coding and Disney have a very rich history, which MANY articles have been written on. One might even say that it’s a... tale as old as time.

Mmmm no thank you.

But why it is so rampant, particularly in animated films, is because the films have a limited run time.

“We need to convince the audience that these characters are villains IMMEDIATELY. We don’t really have the time to waste on developing them and showing all their evil actions. We need audiences to believe when we tell them that these characters are bad. how do we do that?”

“.... make them kinda gay??”

That’s not actually how the conversation went in the board room, I’m sure, but it’s a very reduced down version. Because of the history of LGBT+ villains in the early years of cinema, animation relies on the stereotypes of villainous characters... well unfortunately those villains of old were LGBT+, so now we have LGBT+ stereotypes being passed on to new villains.

Anyway, my point is that almost all Disney villains die. Sorry that’s where I was going with this. Most of them die. The “Bury your Gays” trope is repeated here because of the villain’s queer coding. It’s not obvious, but the subtext is “Hey, if you’re a bit effeminate or do things outside of your strict gender role? Mmmmmm you deserve to die.”

“Bury your Gays” continues in modern media. Despite the importance of Brokeback Mountain, which explicitly shows a romance and intimacy between two men... Jake Gyllenhaal’s character still dies, and it’s implied that it may be due to a hate crime.

We see it in television. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Downton Abbey, Arrow, there was a massive outcry over the trope in The 100 when a female character, after just entering an intimate relationship with another female character, is killed off seemingly senselessly.

The LGBT+ community is tired of only seeing themselves killed for shock value, character growth, or tragedy. Even Ru Paul’s Drag Race has come under fire in recent years for seemingly exploiting its contestants traumatic histories for ratings.

This is why this year’s Love, Simon was so important. The film portrays an adolescent gay character as he struggles with being open with his sexuality and finding a meaningful relationship. Simon is portrayed as a sympathetic character. He’s the hero.

And he gets a happy ending.

This is why Korrasami, a same-sex relationship in children’s media, is so important. It shows two girls achieving their happy ending together.

It’s why in the same year that Steven Universe portrays a same sex wedding, Adam’s death feels like such a step backwards.

The producers have stated that Adam’s death was supposed to raise the stakes of the season, it was supposed to make viewers realise the severity of the situation and overcome them with a feeling of loss, but Adam’s death doesn’t just fail the LGBT+ fans... it fails to effect viewers emotionally.

Because audiences can’t mourn a character that they have no connection with.

Most of Adam’s character was developed in interviews and not in the show, where he only spoke for one scene. The creators talked about the deep relationship between Adam and Shiro, but none of that is actually visible in the series. Taking the season at face value, Adam is just some guy who’s connected to Shiro that is killed off unceremoniously. He wasn’t even given the dignity of hero’s death, taking out even one enemy before he died. That’s what hurts the most.

His death is meaningless. It does nothing. It’s pointless.

But of course “There’s still Shiro, right?”, which is true. Shiro still exists and is confirmed a mlm, which is important, but it’s understandable why fans may not be satisfied with this. Let’s take a closer look at Shiro.

I often joke with my friends that Voltron should be renamed Shiro Suffers: The Series, because out of all the characters in the show, Shiro has definitely endured and been subjected to the worst (you could argue that Allura has, but Shiro has the joy of being tortured emotionally and physically, so I feel he wins).

The writers have tried to kill him numerous times, with only toy sales saving him. He’s been beaten, tortured, terminally ill, killed, revived, possessed and used... it’s a lot. In the old days, I used to ship shallura, not really out of feeling a real romantic connection between the characters, but just because I wanted Shiro to have someone. Someone to help support him. Someone he could open up about his struggles with. The paladins mean a lot to Shiro, but because he is their surrogate guardian, he cannot open up to them like this. He cannot show the paladins weakness, and we see this in how he keeps his disease a secret from Keith, because he does not want to burden Keith with his struggle.

The introduction of Adam wasn’t just exciting because of the potential of seeing a caring LGBT+ relationship, but because it gave fans hope that Shiro would have someone. There was the potential that Shiro might finally gain some kind of supportive relationship outside of his strict roles of “leader” and “guardian”.

Adam’s death removes that possibility. Despite how caring, generous, strong, intelligent, kind, patient and capable Shiro is written... his life is fucking awful. It’s very telling that in the final scene of the season, when every other paladin is in the hospital surrounded by their family and loved ones, Shiro is alone. He’s on a stage, giving a rousing speech to a crowd, still trapped in this role as an inspirational leader.

God, they don’t even let Shiro mourn Adam. Does he feel guilty that he was the one who supposed to die, whilst Adam lived, but now their roles are reversed?We’ll never know. Adam’s death doesn’t even give some insight into Shiro’s character. It’s truly pointless.

Season 7 of Voltron has made it clear that this is not a kids show. This is a serious show with dark themes. The writers want it to be taken more seriously.

Then I will critique it more seriously.

While I strongly doubt it was intentional, season 7 perpetuates the age old message “If you are LGBT+, you will not achieve a happy ending.” The “Bury your Gays” trope is steeped in a history of oppression, censorship, and vilification. When Adam dies, you’re not just seeing a character die, but you’re seeing the series make a conscious decision to participate in this oppressive trope. And it stings even more because the series sets two heterosexual relationships to potentially end in happiness, whilst the LGBT+ relationships have already ended in tragedy.

Why Adam? Why not literally anyone else? We had no connection to him, so it’s not like they could have used a handful of other characters for the same effect. (Kill James. Fuck that guy. And he’s young so it really would have hurt.)

And that’s what you have to question. This is why fans are upset.

I’m not writing this to convince anyone to boycott the show, or plead with you to stop watching. That’s up to you and your own belief system. I definitely do not condone harassing the writers or voice actors.

I just want people to understand why fans are so upset over season 7, and that they have every right to be. To state that the outcry is just because “fans didn’t see their ships become canon” is dismissive and cruel. Adam and Shiro’s relationship was heavily used in marketing by Netflix, so much so that you could call it queer-baiting. It was hyped at SDCC and explained as this deep and meaningful relationship, whilst the producers knew what Adam’s fate would be the whole time.

I know producers have to answer to higher ups. I know the crew were largely on edge about what would get approved and what would not.

But the point remains... they still made this conscious choice. Fans don’t have to be happy about it. They shouldn’t be.

I have no idea what season 8 will bring, and at this point I feel like it might be a mess. But I encourage fans to support each other and be vocal about why you’re upset. You can’t change this show, but there’s hope that another series could learn from this.

History repeats. Until we don’t let it.

#voltron #vld #voltron spoilers #adashi #shadam #discourse #negativity #q slur #takashi shirogane #this took a while

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ticklefits · 5 years

Text

Distant Yearning

AO3 LINK !

the adventure zone : balance | taagnus | words : 5364

summary : Magnus remembers Taako acting a little weird about something and it got him curious enough to ask about it, much to Taako's embarrassment.

“Hey, pst, Taako -- you up?”

It has to be at least two in the morning when the soft, yet audible rumble of vocals belonging to Magnus pierces the late night silence of the room. Unsurprising, Taako is awake, albeit not by choice ( insomnia’s a real burden ). Merle and Robbie, stationed messily underneath their blankets, remain in sound deep sleep; made obvious by the occasional gargantuan snores that drag from the dwarf’s mouth and the smaller ones from Robbie. At first, Taako ignores Magnus’s call, opting instead to stare at the nearest wall within the room’s darkness, groggy and somewhat agitated from the lack of a much needed repose. It’s only when the warrior addresses him again, and then a third time, that Taako raises his upper frame with the support of his elbows, leaning over the side of the wooden frame that separates each bed, to peer down into the bottom bunk and hisses out “Mags, it is two in the goddamn morning."

Magnus seems to stiffen at that, instinctively delivering an apologetic smile to the smaller elf . “Yeah, ah, my bad, but listen, something’s been weighing pretty heavy on my mind for awhile and it has to do with you.”

Those words alone cause the contents of Taako’s stomach to churn, a sense of anxiety already beginning to creep from the recesses of his mind. He forces himself to sustain his semi-irritated expression and conceal any display of how that singular sentence is already making him sweat with anticipation of what Magnus is going to say.

“...Well? Ain't got all night my man, spill the tea already.” Taako urges, all too impatient to hear what is so goddamn important about himself that Magnus couldn't have kept this in until a decent hour -- namely no sooner than noon .

The larger man's visage contorts in an expression that reads half curiosity and half apprehension, as if he has abruptly decided that maybe he shouldn't have mentioned anything at all. It's too late for that though; he's got Taako's nerves whirling around like flies at a summer barbeque and if he doesn't come out with it already, it's very plausible that Taako will end up forcing it out of him one way or another. He carries his own chest of secrets, the same as everyone else, and the fear that someone, somehow, might have unlocked it and discovered something detrimental about him, terrifies the absolute shit out of him. With another gesture of urgency, Taako finally persuades Magnus to continue on.

"Uh, okay, okay, well -- this might just be stupid, or I might've just been imagining things when it happened, y'know, 'cause lotsa stuff was sorta happening all at once and there was the void fish and it's great, big, everything and--"

"Magnus, you have one more chance - count it - one more chance to tell me whatever stupid thing you have to tell me before I put you back to sleep myself." But Taako did register hearing something about the void fish, which has only served to confuse him further. What could he possibly have to do with the void fish?

"Okay! Okay, okay, so… uh.. You remember when we first met Johann in the elevator? And he was super sad and I didn't know the reason why, but I wanted him to be happy like any ol' good citizen would?"

"... Yeaaah..?"

"So I tickled him." Taako has to clench the bed frame a bit to bite back a shiver at that word. " Normal reactions all around, except… I noticed you were acting a little.. Off?"

Oh gods. Oh gods. Oh gods. If Taako's suspicions and anxieties are true, then Magnus discovering this particular secret is probably one of the worst ones he could know. He delivers his best facade of indifference, simply nodding and allowing Magnus to continue - if he begins to act out again at the mention of it, it might set Magnus off.

"The first time, I was like, whatever, he's probably just weirded out, and that's fine, like that's definitely a Taako thing, but then when I did it again is when things kinda… I dunno, intensified maybe? That might not be the right word but."

The blond could only hope this was a dream. A horribly taunting dream where Magnus had unearthed one of his deepest secrets, that absolutely no one knew about him, that was so well concealed he couldn't even begin to piece together how someone could end up knowing unless Taako himself had screwed the pooch. He goes silent in his internal prayers for this all to be a scene of his imagination and hopefully, his insomnia will do its duty and kick in again, waking him before any additional embarrassment can rear its ugly head.

"You were fidgeting and looking away from Johann and I, but sometimes your eyes would flicker back to us, and then away again. I swear I even saw your lips twitching. And you had this look like you were… yearning? I dunno, like I said, it could be hella stupid and I could be reading way too much into things."

Quietude sustains from Taako, almost too far gone into his own thoughts and wishes for none of this to be reality, as Magnus single handedly picked apart every little subtle sign that Taako had unknowingly granted his vision with, as if the elf had lain daisies out for him to effortlessly pluck. If he were any less freaked right now, he could commend Magnus for his observational skills. Finally, Taako gulps down the lump that infiltrated his throat and constricted the breath he couldn't take while Magnus had been speaking, willing the sweat that was beginning to form at his temple to dry.

"I'm.. I'm pretty sure you're just grasping at straws, Mags. I was just.. Offput 'cause you… Did that to a total stranger." He bluffs, heterochromatic eyes rolling to attempt to emphasize his faux apathy towards the situation.

"Uh huh," Magnus hums, and his stare towards Taako is all of a sudden intense, as if peering deep beyond the lavender - jade of his irises, to see what the elf has hidden behind those long, thick lashes of his. "And so… what if I decided to do it to someone who isn't a total stranger?"

Taako's eyes widen. His breathing begins to cut short again and his toes curl under the blanket on instinct. What.. The hell is going on right now?

"What if I decided to tickle you?"

That's when Taako chokes. He chokes on fucking air, has to level himself after a brief, strangled coughing fit so as to refrain from waking up their other two roommates; the last thing the wizard needs is two extra idiots looking to embarrass him. His gaze returns to Magnus, incredulous in expression, with plump lips slightly agape and cheeks tinted in obvious roseate hues. It's been at least two minutes and he hasn't delivered any sort of response other than nearly asphyxiating himself on oxygen out of sheer surprise of the fighter's words. What's the point in even saying something like that? To get a reaction out of him? To cause him more chagrin than he's already suffering with? He doesn't possess the spoons to ask Magnus that question right now, especially with the way that amber eyes maintain that focused gaze on him -- Taako meets his line of sight for a second and instantly regrets the decision.

Butterflies assault the insides of his stomach, making it nigh impossible to look Magnus in the eye right now. Could he have… the same thing Taako has? Despite Taako's palpable discomposure in regards to it, he knows that while it isn't exactly a common thing, it also isn't something totally outlandish - especially compared to some of the other kinks has been unfortunately exposed to. His blush darkens against his will, finally, slowly, providing a verbal response to his still waiting companion.

"You… um.. Why would you even..?"

Magnus' features revert back a little bit, growing soft and curious once again. "Because… I'm kinda the same, I guess? It's kinda been a thing for me for awhile. I'm assuming it's like that for you too."

"I… I-I gotta say Magnus, I'm learning a lot more about you than I thought I would and that I think would rather not know." But there's bemusement in those words; a signal that means Taako doesn't really mean what he says. At least, not all of it. Magnus only releases a small, deep chuckle and shrugs his broad shoulders.

"I guess it'd be easier to say, that I couldn't really help myself when I started noticing the signs you were putting out. You have some really.. Kinetic energy. It was like… I could feel some sort of invisible pull from you."

That only darkens Taako's freckled cheeks even more. This entire conversation has been nothing but one giant trip for him , what with Magnus not only discovering his inclination for tickling but even bringing how own desire for it to light. What's even more wild? Magnus definitely wants to tickle him -- his eyes proved that he was practically hungry for it, and gods, Taako can still feel the goosebumps decorating his flesh from the sheer magnitude of the fighter's earlier peer. On one hand, this could be terrible. Sure, he and Magnus have some sort of weird, unspoken chemistry between them and it shows when they interact with each other. Magnus is steadily learning how to handle someone like Taako and it's crazy, Taako thinks, but at the same time, a… comforting sort of thought? On the other hand, Taako has been in the worst craving moods ever since he witnessed Magnus and Johann. Even before that, the elf would be burdened with the occasional craving and have no way of relief. Magnus could… maybe… become that outlet, and if what the other says is true, then Taako, could do the same for him in return.

Yet and still, he and Magnus have a long journey ahead of them and still many paths to cross and situations to deal with it… this sort of thing is more than just a silly prank or a playful way to tease to Taako. It's a very personal and intimate extension of himself, something not another soul has shared with him. Until this burly, dog loving dork anyway… and perhaps, this some kind of a sign.

A sign that his life is, finally, starting to shine brighter than he thought it could.

After what felt like hours of mulling over the thought, Taako speaks again. "... You know this isn't just some childish shit for me, right? It's the real deal." Without truly thinking about his actions, Taako's eyes flash at Magnus and are granted the same stare that he had earlier in return. " ---- Think you can handle that?"

Magnus had wondered for the longest time if he had overstepped his boundaries by his exposure and request, up until Taako's rebuttal of a challenge and suddenly, his fingers were twitching, apexes heating up with the urge to touch and stroke. Imaginably, his intentions in the beginning had been somewhat selfish -- but can he truly be blamed? For a gorgeous wildcard like Taako to have any semblance of submission towards a kink like this, especially one shared by him as well, it's honestly astounding. How can Magnus pass up this chance? It would be a whole crime to do so.

"I think the real question is if you can handle me." He shoots back and with the way Magnus' lips curl at the corners into an eager half smirk, Taako could melt into the mattress right on point. It's been much too long since someone was able to instill in him such avidity -- Magnus managed to do so in a one single sentence. At this point, he really isn't leaving Taako much of a choice.

".. I'd say tomorrow, but since it's already tomorrow Magnus, later today then. We'll see how good you are."

A chuckle breaches from Magnus, but he nods in agreement, "Looking forward to it," and with that, slinks back under the cover of the wooden frame of his bunk, leaving Taako to his own thoughts, whilst he too crawls back into his own bed -- though neither of them actually get much sleep from that point on.

The first sight of dawn rises over the horizon and a percentage of the b.o.b rises with it, including merle and robbie, neither of which find it especially necessary to wake their other two roommates for breakfast just yet and end up leaving them alone in the room. Magnus is the first to wake, groggily with a rugged yawn as he exits the bunk and stretches as far as his limbs will allow, animating refreshed muscles and joints. Upon renewed awareness, the fight distinctly recalls the conversation he had with Taako hours prior and his fingers suddenly flex on instinct, cheeks heating up if only for the realization that this was actually going to happen. Circling around, his gaze settles on the still sleeping wizard, observing him with a softness to his eyes that Magnus has yet to see another with; he seems so peaceful when he’s actually sleeping… beautiful, even. Magnus can peer at him up close and see just how long his lashes really are, how his freckles are bunched together on the bridge of his nose, but spread out over his cheeks and just keep going, covering his skin in various areas and varying degrees.. It appears so soft and smooth, and thought of being granted the opportunity to touch it as thoroughly as he will soon is enough to make his fingers flex again, impatiently this time, forcing him to hold back a chuckle at himself.

The need for a distraction is strong, so Magnus busies himself with dressing and locating the mess hall to gather up consumables for himself and for Taako too, considering he figures neither will be leaving the room much today. A short conversation with Merle and Robbie transpires, inwardly flushing relief when the two mention they have their own businesses to attend to and probably won’t be back for awhile. Magnus gives an acknowledging goodbye without telling either of them much of his and Taako’s affairs of course, and begins his tread back to the room with as much subtle swiftness as his large self can manage.

When Taako finally rouses from slumber, he yawns and stretches high, slender digits rubbing lightly at his eyes to rid them of sleep crust and adjust to the bright morning rays. With a lazy gaze around the room, he hoists himself up to look over the frame and comes to witness Magnus on the floor, setting out a few breakfast pastries and savory treats on two trays. He senses eyes on him and glances up to Taako, who in lieu gives him a wriggly - fingered wave, making Magnus smile and gesture for him to climb down. Taako nods and wastes no time in doing so, definitely perusing the food as his stomach growls in desire. Once out of bed, he sits cross - legged in front of the tray that isn’t already in front of Magnus and begins to chow down on what catches his eye. Magnus does the same, inviting a comfortable, though temporary silence between the two.

“Sooo…” Magnus begins once they’ve both finished their meal, unable to really look at one another in the eye, “Food was good.”

Flaxen gold locks sway lightly with Taako’s nod, smoothing out the wrinkled chiffon of his sleepwear, “..Yeah. Pretty good.”

It’s another few minutes of silence, before Magnus scoots himself around and closer to Taako, immediately invoking a settlement of heat to color the blond’s cheeks in anticipation. “Listen… I don’t wanna make you any kind of uncomfortable, Taako. This all sprang up pretty fast, so if you don’t want to do this, we definitely don’t have to and can act like last night didn’t happen if that’s what you want.”

That definitely isn’t what he wants; not in the slightest. The awkwardness that plagues the air around them isn’t exactly due to the coming act itself, but mostly from Taako’s own insecurities and the fear of vulnerability that approaches with this sort of thing. He trusts Magnus enough.. That isn’t the issue. He needs to be able to trust himself not to ruin something good before anything even occurs. A sigh through his nostrils breaks the impending tension that had been building while Magnus patiently waited for Taako’s answer, legs scooting so that his entire body faces the other and with a quick once over of Magnus, he extends both arms and offers them to the fighter. Magnus pauses, giving off a confused stare until he slowly lifts his own arms and mimics Taako’s motion with a small tilt of his head. A roll of his eyes ensues, but at least Magnus’ clueless has an amusing charm to it -- especially right now, helping to further evaporate some of the rigidity of the situation.

“No, dork -- touch me.” Taako lays his arms within Magnus’ open palms and the reaction from Magnus is immediate: a small “oh” sound, as if surprised, and a realization from his earlier ponderance does in fact conclude that Taako has really.. really soft skin. Unlike Magnus’ own flesh, which is scarred and calloused from his days of carpentry, to the battles of current times. Taako probably notices this too, from the thoughtful expression that perked his features once he actually felt Magnus’ fingers close around his smaller wrists. They remain like this, Magnus’s hands wrapped around Taako’s arms like loose handcuffs, simply getting a feel for his skin and determining a course of action. While brushing up the underskin of his arms, Taako squirms and a little whimper pulls from his throat before he realizes it. Magnus definitely takes notice of that reaction and repeats his action, watching with a blossoming delight at how Taako squirms a little bit harder that time and has to bite his lip to capture the noise before it leaks out again; however, it’s a little too late for that and timidness is suddenly out of the door.

Before Taako can truly register what happened, he discovers himself with the seat of Magnus’ lap, ample hands positioning themselves on his sides but haven’t dug in. Rose paints over freckled cheeks again, daring his eyes to rise and look at him questioningly, but words don’t come to formulate a verbal response. Magnus simply smiles down at him, half apologetic and half joyful. “Sorry.. I’m really trying to be patient, but you’re already killing me here.”

Even with the advantage of their positions, Magnus is still polite, respectful in his own way despite his seemingly growing impatience. Taako actually finds it really cute, endeared by the duality of the fighter’s morals. He relaxes against the other’s chest then, a signal to Magnus that he’s comfortable enough to permit him to do as he pleases (within reason) and Magnus isn't about to let the chance go to waste. Therein, his fingers commence their dutiful exploration, spidering along Taako's sides gently while moving in an ascending and descending motion. Taako's reaction is instantaneous, with choked giggles leaking from between plump lips that he binds in a tight line, attempting to keep the budding laughter captive within the hollows of his cheeks and throat -- obviously this doesn't pan out the way he had hoped. Especially when Magnus treads further south and hits a rather sensitive area: the sections of flesh at Taako's hips that separates meat from muscle, which has him squirming almost frantically and the giggles that bubbled from his chest, already amplifying into soft , full on belly laughter.

"M-Mahahagnus -- wait, wahahahit! Nohoho -- nooohohohot theeehehehere!"

"Not there? Not there… Oh! Oh, you mean, right here?" Magnus teases, delivering impish squeezes to each hip and earning the reward of a high pitched squeal from the elf writhing in his lap. It's invigorating to know that they've only just begun and Taako is already unraveling at the seams by his hands. Though momentary, he ponders whether the wizard's prior challenge was one of bluff, lack of experience, or he's so reactive simply because he truly is that sensitive. Whatever the case may be, Magnus is certainly soaking in every wriggle and giggle that blesses him.

"Aaahaa-! Mmmahahahaha, n-nooohohoho, stop, stahahahap!" Taako squeals while he continues to flail about, only to release a small squeak of surprise when Magnus does halt his tickling and glance up at him, a shy "I didn't actually mean that--" on the tip of his tongue, but the larger interrupts him before speech can form.

"Sorry, hold on, I should've asked before we started, I got carried away -- have you thought of a safeword? I know that when you say things like stop or no, you don't actually mean them, & that's fine and all, but I'm the type of guy that needs to have communication so I know when to really stop." He even temporarily removes his hands from Taako's hips, at which a whine leaks from the smaller's lips from the loss of contact.

"Um… if I'm being honest? No. I've never really had a need for one before now, I guess." Slender shoulders shrugged nonchalantly, his skin prickling with impatience at the continued lack of Magnus' fingers tickling away. The aforementioned fighter nods, a glaze of thought spreading over his features for a minute or so. "Alright… So, take a minute to think one up real quick. Then we can continue."

A whine nearly slips from Taako's lips at that, but he fathoms the importance of having a safeword for stuff like this. He can already tell from the concise amount of tickling Magnus has enacted so far that he'll definitely need one if things become too overwhelming. Additionally, Taako wholeheartedly appreciates the concern for his well-being. "That's a very Magnus thing of you to do." he teases him a bit, before actually mulling over what word to use. "Hm.. Ah.. Let's just use milk. Easy to remember, not stupid enough for me to be too embarrassed to call out."

Magnus smiles and as if in reward, plants his hands back upon the wizard's sides, beaming a little brighter when said wizard squeaks and rattles in his lap a little from the returned contact. "Sounds good to me. I'm gettin' back to it now." With that warning, thick extremities dig back into the skin of Taako's sides, garnering a prompt explosion of giggles and squirming once again. Even though Magnus hasn't done much yet, Taako's already gone extra sensitive, with little ripples of electricity riding his skin with every stroke and dip of the fighter's skilled fingers, causing Taako to actually wonder what he's gotten himself into.

"M-mmmahaa-! Mahaahahahahagnus, plehehehehease!"

"Pleeeease what? Change spots? Gladly." He's all too curious about the rest of Taako's body; even decided on a game -- a probably evil game, appropriately named: Find the Death Spot. To keep the elf from guessing his movements or next location, Magnus has one hand poking and prodding all over the expanse of his torso, while the other acts more strategically, utilizing claw rubs and squeezes to better assess Taako's sensitivity in that area. That hand hoists up from his hip, marking tickles along the way until Magnus reaches the top of his ribs and Taako absolutely loses it.

"N-no! Nonononohohoho! Oh gohohods, shit-! Shihihihihit, not thehehehere! Ah! Ahahaa--!" Taako's mouth hangs agape as laughter pours through like an even water flow, ringed hands pushing at Magnus' own halfheartedly, but the safeword never comes despite the rest of Taako's pleas, so Magnus simply attaches both hands that sweet spot and goes to town for a bit. In lieu, Taako tries to curl up and pull his knees to his chest to protect his ribs, but all that really does is trap the other's fingers in there, allowing him to work undisturbed by the elf's own attempts at pushing his hands away. He squeals when Magnus seems to punish him for his mistake by poking in between as many ribs as he can reach until Taako has to let his knees down so that Magnus can move positions -- if he even does.

"Y'know, it's pretty cute that your ribs are this ticklish. I think next time, I'll play them like piano keys and make you a fun little song. ~ ' The tease is completely dreadful and it brings a new splash of pink to Taako's cheeks, ears, and neck, to which Magnus is totally delighted to see. His laughter only seems to raise in pitch and volume with each passing minute; Taako hadn't the slightest idea that Magnus was this good! Honestly, who the hell has he been practicing on to be able to bring someone near to tears like this? It was wholly unfair, especially if you count in the fact they've only been at this for about ten minutes -- Taako had planned on making this last as long as he could manage, but with the tickling competence that Magnus is effortlessly dishing out right now, that wish isn't appearing very probable.

Magnus' chest suddenly rumbles with a curious hum and Taako knows that can't mean great news for him. He's trying to anticipate where and how Magnus will strike next, but he isn't granting him any hints, the big bully. His skin is on edge, zapped with extra ticklish just waiting for Magnus' fingers to act as conductors for the currents again; yet when all Taako receives are light spiderings over his stomach (enough to reignite his squeaks and giggles), a foreboding sense of trepidation occurs, like the calm before the storm. He feels Magnus deciding to migrate from his stomach and gulps at the thought of him attacking his hips again -- only to realize that he isn't stopping there, and instead, rests the flat of his palms right atop the meat of Taako's thighs, wherein the elf's face flares with heat and long, pierced ears twitch perceptively, daring to observe what Magnus does next.

He can definitely feel Taako's eyes bearing down into the backs of his hands, just bracing for whatever he ends up doing. It's a powerful feeling and Magnus is soaking it all up with a grin brightening his features. However, he doesn't move his hands yet, simply keeping their positions steady while leaning closer to Taako's ear. "-- Is this alright? I don't wanna touch you anywhere you're not comfortable with."

The wispy strands of Magnus' sideburns only tickle the hypersensitive skin of his ears, forcing Taako to snap down on his bottom lip from the threat of an embarrassing squeal trying to burst from his mouth. After a few moments, Taako finally deems himself calm enough to answer, though completely refuses to even peek in Magnus' general direction; in fact, one of his own hands goes to promptly conceal half of his face as he succumbs to abashment anyway. " … Do what you gotta do my man. Pretty sure I'm handlin' you better than you thought I would, huh? Hope you got more tricks up your sleeve than that."

Magnus can't refrain from laughing softly at Taako's hardass front -- he pretty much fathoms that's all it is, considering how much the elf has melted into him from the way Magnus' fingers have treated him thus far. That's just another part of Taako's charm, and if he's being honest, Magnus thinks it's cute as shit. It makes his fingers itch for another opportunity to make Taako squeal and laugh and eat the sass-laden words he just spoke. He proceeds to do just that, hands springing back to life with soft squeezes to the tops of Taako's thighs that already send him into frantic giggles and squirms.

"S-Shi--! Shihihihihihit--!" His hands push at Magnus', yet seem to be pin them down upon his skin rather than off. The fighter can't tell if that was intentional or not, but he certainly is going to make sure that Taako feels every result of his action. He digs into the sides the wizard's thighs in circular motions, alternating between faster and rougher or slower and softer, all the while dishing out the occasional squeeze and Taako absolutely loses it.

"MahAAAHAHAHAHA!" His laughter breaks free like a cracked dam with too much pressure and finally overflowing; it's loud, pitch and octave raising to a level Magnus didn't know Taako could achieve (honestly, neither did he) and for a second, he's worried that someone may hear him and wonder what the hell was going on for him to be screeching like he is. But Magnus can't find it in himself to care all too much -- and you wouldn't either if you got to see the same sight as him: Taako with nearly his entire visage painted in hues of rose, flushed ears flicking about in what he can only assume to be excitement or overwhelm, plump lips broken apart with a wide grin that showed every single pearly white and the best part of it all? Taako is absolutely glowing, even more so than his beauty normally is. Anyone would be able to clearly visualize how much he's genuinely enjoying this despite his half-hearted pleas for the larger male to cease. It's enough to bring Magnus a blush of his own, never wanting any of this to end.

Yet, when Magnus swears he hears the strangled, half-laugh, half-whine of the word milk, he halts all movement, immediately moving his hands off of Taako and setting them on his own thighs. He's still smiling, but it's softer and more apologetic than anything. "You okay, tough guy?" He teases, his voice is so gentle, almost barely above a whisper while Taako gulps down excessively deep breaths, taking back the oxygen that was stolen with every note of his guffawing.

"D.. Don't patronize me, ahahasshole… This is gonna be your f-first and only.. victory…" Magnus is silent for a minute, simply soaking up the fruits of his labor while the aforementioned elf still continues to pull an act even while looking and feeling as ruined as he is; combat or pranks wise, Magnus would have had a real reason to honestly fear what Taako's threats would entail, but for this? The ex carpenter knows he has a pretty significant advantage. Still, it's just as cute as earlier -- Magnus is having trouble refraining from nuzzling into the top of his head, knowing that wouldn't end well for him. So he simply settles for the view, leaning back as Taako regains his bearings. "Next time won't be so easy for you."

"... Oh. So there's gonna be a next time, huh?"

Taako glances back at him as if his sentence wasn't spoken in common, "What, you thought you were gonna win a one and done? Not on your life buddy boy, better exercise those fingers up 'cause you're gonna be bowing with hand cramps to the unbreakable Taako next time."

Magnus covers his mouth on a laugh, rolling his eyes a bit. "Oh yeah, lookin' forward to that mess."

A yawn interrupts the unbreakable Taako's next statement, his hand reaching up to block the breathy sigh that leaks from his mouth. "Mmm… but, for now, as next time's loser, your punishment is to hold me while I nap.." Taako's yawn was apparently infectious, noted so as Magnus releases one of his own, suddenly too tired to protest or argue that it's probably not the best idea to sleep in the middle of the afternoon. He wordlessly follows the wizard as he lifts off of his lap and makes a wobbly trail to the lower bunk where Magnus sleeps, unceremoniously flopping atop the mattress and curling underneath the blanket, with the bigger adventurer sliding in behind him. He spoons up against Taako, curling an arm around his waist to snuggle into him better, to which Magnus hears a low, grumbly, "And no funny business Burnsides."

"Wouldn't dream of it," comes the sleepy reply, but Taako doesn't see the smile upon his lips or the fingers crossed inside of his mind.

#taagnus #magnus burnsides #taako #taako taaco #taz #tickling #tickle fic #taz balance #the adventure zone #taako the wizard

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