#i just ended up talking about chil a lot again. Give me excuses to talk about him more

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck, family & alcoholism

Collection of thoughts and speculation on Chil’s upbringing, his dynamic with his family and how alcoholism ties into it all. If you want the groundwork info on Chil’s background I recommend my masterpost on his family, here it’s really just me speculating from the crumbs we get of his parents and siblings, how it’s all affected him and in turn affected his own wife and kids etc etc.

There’s nothing more I’d like on mother’s day than to speculate about Chilchuck’s maladaptive attachment style. I’m fascinated by how distant everyone is and how much he’s been devoted to them all despite having been so absent. Intergenerational trauma get over here

Actually it’ll be easier if I make a rundown here too, it’s just stuff I reiterate from my masterpost tho.

Tiny table of contents: 1- rundown: family facts 2- rundown: alcoholism 3- dad 4- parenting 5- daughters 6- wife

^ Every time his dad gets mentioned. His mom never gets mentioned. His siblings I think are only ever mentioned in this extra, and then there are more ambiguous relatives cameos.

We know is hometown isn’t Kahka Brud, but we’re not sure wether he moved there upon getting his own house (presumably around when he got married at 13), or if it’s only after his wife when he rented out his place to relatives then rented the place in Kahka Brud.

If he rented it out to relatives, maybe that meant it was in his hometown? Especially if he and his siblings are "almost strangers" so presumably he doesn’t really keep in touch with his family. And I mean, he hasn’t seen his wife or daughter in 4 years so you can imagine how he’s like with his more distant family…

Additionally half-foots and Chil are very coded to be from an impoverished opressed working class people. So that’s the context.

I’ll say that I mentioned intergenerational trauma at the beginning, and I def think the distrust of elves is part of that, but here I want to focus on the interpersonal effects rather.

Copy pasting my masterpost thoughts overall: Chilchuck is hinted to have had a rather dysfunctional family himself (alcoholic father, distant siblings, etc). So he doesn’t really have the best model on how to raise someone and such. I imagine it was a sort of neglectful home situation, where the kids are encouraged to be independent. If they didn’t have to work or help around much, then a free range parenting sort of thing.

We do see how the family has full and warm feasts, where someone cleans his mouth with a rag, so it’s not like he didn’t have caring people or had a tragic childhood though! I don’t remember if it’s explicitely stated but he’s heavily implied to having grown up poor, as most half-foots, and I just think it’s the hardened hardworking family type of childhood where just like he does with others, they instilled somewhat harsh life lessons in him, which in turn encourages him to indulge in the simple pleasures of life like alcohol and sex, or at least women’s beauty and crass jokes. We do see he seems more optimistic when he’s younger in flashbacks, so a bunch of his harsh view on the world is still likely learned and earned rather than taught.

I still think he inherited many flawed views from how his father acted, like his attitude about excessive drinking not being a big deal, it being worth it. That work hard play hard, enjoy life die young mentality he has, shown mostly in the “alcohol” section of his Adventurer’s Bible profile, could very well be partly a result of the general poverty half-foot communities are that he grew in as well, like how he doesn’t hope for things to be as best as they could be and contends with good enough.  As far as I remember, his mother is never mentioned, but I doubt it implies she was out of the picture. She was probably a regular sort of mother that took care of the home and was still around when his father died, not unlike how Chil’s wife was implied to be a housewife. It looks like there’s a good age gap between one sibling to the next, that could be interesting to speculate about too. Mostly though I think it’s big family because it’s just sorta what happens when you regularly have sex and you don’t have contraception, being poor often makes family planning harder for various reasons and leads to more children.

Alcoholism context rundown:

Good Chilchuck analysis baseline here. Alcohol seems to be his main stress reliever/coping mechanism, especially for how emotionally constipated he is, and his job is being stressed about his party’s safety. Then he also mentions as a changeling that having his senses dulled feels relaxing to him, further confirming alcohol, as a drug that dulls senses, is something that he likes for the intoxication aspect and feels it’s relaxing. Alcohol also acts as a hunger suppressant, so it for sure has played a role in his dieting and unhealthy eating/diet habits, especially since he shows the instinct to drink to soothe hunger, all of that about how going hungry for 3 days used to feel manageable. Chil dieting info compiled here.

Chilchuck is at his most effortlessly cheerful when drunk or drinking. Compilation of every time he was drunk here.

And to be clear, a cheerful drunk is still a drunk. He literally will drink anytime he gets the opportunity to even if he’s aware overdrinking leads to health problems and death. Like canonically. He does NOT see how drinking should be a problem and does not seek to show restraint with it.

Dad of the dad

Marcille and Chilchuck having a talk on how losing a dad be like "You lost your dad young too…? I know how it is, it must have hit you hard…" "No not really tbh. Do you want lasagna or chicken for dinner?" <- either genuinely doesn’t feel much about his dad’s death or has 10 layers of repression, idk which is worse

I think Chil not making a big deal out of his dad’s death, not having worries in following into his footsteps that way in the least, is super interesting.

As a buddy @saccharineomens puts it: " I kinda imagine chilchuck and his dad didn't have a bad relationship, but in general chilchuck is so blase about drinking (he sees it as a delightful time, a wonderful thing! he wouldn't mind dying doing something he loved!) that he's not very upset about his dad's passing? like "yeah, he died, but i was already an adult, he was an adult, he made his choices, i make my choices, it's cool" " And I’ll nitpick that we don’t know how old he was when his dad died, I always assumed it was pretty early since Chil left home when he got married, and like I’ve gone into he doesn’t seem to be the keep in touch type. It’s on the table though, and he could have learned about it through letter if nothing else and that contributes to the "meh" reaction.

And that is very Chilchuck, the whole "we made our choices, it is how it is, he died doing something he loved", and you can totally believe that that’s the crux of it, but I do think the nonchalance hints at the family overall being distant and not only the siblings, that there’s dysfunctional shenanigans going on in there more than just… Healthy coping and having moved on.

I wonder when Chil first drank… And I wonder how he came to realize he liked alcohol a lot. His father probably gave him sips… Or he stole them

No because, with how disaffected he is about his father and siblings I could definitely see him having started to kind of numb himself/dissociate with the help of alcohol in that home environment that felt so… Either devoid of feelings or too messy to get attached. I can totally see his family being one that encourages dealing with feelings by bottling them up.

Because too… We saw him have a family/community feast of some sort presumably when he was a kid, in that chapter cover, so it’s not like there’s no warmth or sense of family at all, but then like… What went wrong? If as I theorize that girl with short black hair in that panel is his future wife, since she’s his childhood friend and all, what if his family/home life was always kind of cold and distant, even when gathered and cheery or despite those occasions? So then it’s like, at the family gatherings, she’s the most important person there to him, the one he actually connects to the most, the warmest presence he has…….. Someone he jokes around with that feels on the same speed as him, that doesn’t have the same connotations as everyone else present, a bit of a haven, someone different, a breath of fresh hair and a regained sense of childhood… Spitballing of course of course

I feel like they had a pretty big family and they were poor and such so there were always chores to be done etc, so their household might have operated like a mini busiess of sorts where everyone’s too busy, always has this and that to do and the mother asks them to go do tasks. I used to think it might be more of a neglect situation, where the kids are expected to provide for themselves and so cook their own meals and whatnot, both parents distant, but I don’t think so with the feast illustration. Chil at the beginning of canon used to see eating as a practical thing more than anything, you have to eat to live but don’t eat much or your weight will make your job more dangerous, might as well skip meals and have beer instead, etc etc. So the thought that he doesn’t know how to cook all that well despite this speculated background where he cooked for himself and keeps cooking minimalistic, since he does tell Senshi he taught him about cooking, is fair, but still… There could definitely be a situation where his older siblings were pushed into a parental role too, where they helped with the food and raising the younger siblings etc etc. As mentioned, the age gap between siblings may play into the dynamic as well. But on this front I have less ideas…

So yes my general take on Chil’s family is that everyone was too busy to emotionally connect as much as is normal, the parenting leaving things to be desired with alcoholism and emotional neglect.

Fathering

And I think that’s especially interesting considering he hasn’t been keeping in touch with his daughters either. It’s "they’re independent now" and that’s kinda it. His daughters haven’t sent him letters or visited him or tried to make him talk to their mom again. It does feel like with his own parents and siblings to me, where people are almost strangers, where relationships grow apart and everyone shrugs and goes ‘that’s how things are’. Is it that everyone including all his daughters gave up on trying to keep in touch, or is it that they all went "well divorced or not he’s absent, this is our normal tbh", and which is worse?

So yes, I think his relationship with his daughters is probably similar to his relationship with his parents, sort of hands off. Chil's dad was probably not a good dad but probably not quite a bad dad. A definitive He Was There, to quote another friend heh

Imo the thing with Chil is that he was pretty absent bc of work travels to dungeon dive, right. He’s working hard to provide for his family but in the process he’s not spending much time with them, slowly making a gap grow between him and them as they drift apart and change as people. He’s a career dad who never realized spending time with his family was more important and threw his pager into the ocean— But also here’s the thing!! You want to say being his family is more important, but money is arguably more important! They’re poor, they don’t have the privilege of free time as much. Sure he’s not there, but he is providing for them what they need to keep living and growing healthily. Similarly, you want to say Chil should stop doing harsh dieting for weight management, but, he has a point, maybe starving is still preferable than dying in traps. Of course the ideal would be to change jobs, but again, life is a struggle and that’s not always an option.

^ Truly the classic "if you don’t listen to me, your parent, a cryptid is gonna kidnap you!" international experience………

He is so so so the "What? My way of parenting is kinda bad? But my father raised me like that, and look how great I turned out!" <- emotionally dysfunctional…….. "Pshhh what do you mean having an alcoholic parent negatively affects you? My father was an alcoholic too and look at me"  🤡

All of it was behavior normalized to him. And listen, I’m saying this but not as like, shirking of his part in it. This isn’t a teen or young adult, he’s middle aged, he’s become the one giving and not receiving the generational trauma. He’s chosen to never think deeper on the topic.

And like, he himself is so indifferent to his father and what their relationship was like, of course he wouldn’t notice if a parenting choice wasn’t great for his daughters. He doesn’t have a relationship with his dad, he’s not (at least not consciously) traumatized by him, so from his perspective it’s mission success! He got raised decent enough 👍⭐️ Except he doesn’t realize that like, not particularly caring if he died is sign of a problem between them in itself… And this even as he remains somewhat of an important figure in his life, especially since that’s who he sees on the other side of the life river in the ghost chapter. It’s implicitly the biggest instance of loss through death Chilchuck has in his life I think.

But despite it all he obviously does love his family a lot, right. So I do believe that like, while he has imperfect standards when it comes to parenting he still tries to be better than his dad was, that even if it’s necessary that he has a lot of long work travels, he spends time with them. And there’s sort of this dissonance that he’s both "it doesn’t matter wether i’m here or not, they’ll live, they’re tough girls. Oh they didn’t like my scolding earlier? It’s just how kids are" dismissive and "I love them so much and I want them to have a good life. I want to do my best by them" devoted and so so caring. And like that’s why he works so damn hard, he does it for them, but also that’s why the girls grew up with an absentee father and aughhhh AUGHHHH the unsolvable dilemma of it all Chilchuck in Dunmeshi truly represents like, the harshness of reality & the world and how sometimes things will just suck no matter what, and then of course balancing that with Marcille in their shared arc where she tacks on "And despite that there is beauty everywhere even in the small and menial things, despite that your flawed relationships and dreams are still worth fighting for" ie giving reconciling with his wife a shot, etc.

All that said I think the very strict "you’re gonna grow up to have a stable job by god, young miss" attitude, those strong work ethics he highly values and focuses on and no doubt tried to instill in is own kids, is something he somewhat inherited from his own upbringing and parents.

In my masterpost bit on his parenting, I said I don’t think he’d do any kind of corporeal punishment, but. I do wonder about spanking aftee all. It can be so so easy to rationalize it… Sigh

Daughter pov

Again, my general interpretations for the daughters are written in my masterpost. I think Patti knows her father the least and is the one least worried about jobs and stability and least settled down as a result. Flertom is the more social one who I imagine tended to be the one worried about her parents’ couple and their emotions the most. And Meijack… Ohh Meijack.

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it and still you stand next to your mother just as quiet and just as stoic during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight out of mind

Thinking of those posts about how kids never forget and during the "draw your family!" things at school, some of the kids draw their working parents seperate from the rest of them...

Absent father and when he’s at home you get the crumbs of him that you get and you’re grateful for it and that’s that <333

She doesn’t know how much he loves them bc he hasn’t showed them in a long time </3

The horror of drunk Chil in my fics is often about what in this state he can’t do rather than what he could do, how someone who’s as proud of his skills and work ethics as he is has truly changed, not comprehending how he could become so sloppy or how he could allow himself to get like this, marred the values he preaches above all else. It’s in the way that he fumbles with doorknobs, that he could never lockpick a door if you were to lock it, and it both being your salvation and bringing you extreme distress at the thought of it all. His footsteps usually featherlight now sound heavy as stone, like a troll’s.

You know the thing that gets me so bad with alcoholism angst is when people describe the drunk person as a stranger. Often making a metaphor that they’re monsters, have some monster they shapeshift into uncontrollably once in a while, as a way to split the unreconciliable halves of the person sober and drunk in your vision of them……. It gets me soooo bad Little Puckpatti growing up on tales of trolls kidnapping disobedient kids and replacing them with doubles so no one even knows they’re gone… Coming face to face with a drunk Chilchuck that roams the halls of the house with heavy steps in the night, because she wanted to go drink a glass of water, too thirsty to sleep………..

And this is where I reveal that I wrote a fic about just that!! Trolls that thump and tiptoe through the night Mei @ Chil, You made me of stone and still every day you wear me down and chip away at me bit by bit

In the end notes I describe my takes and interpretations: With Mei I tried to give the sense of a kid who sacrifices some parts of childhood to feel closer to her parent, like not playing games to spend more time with him no matter how empty, or wanting to be worthy in his eyes. With Fler, since she was the one in canon to take in their mother and write Chil a letter explaining the situation, I feel like she’s always been the one most involved and aware of the problems in their family. The one most there to emotionally support or to understand what the vibes in a room meant. Puckpatti I think knows her father the least, since with time I think Chilchuck was more and more away from work and more and more cynical like the flashbacks of younger him dungeon diving. I think because of her not minding unstable odd jobs that she’s the most passive, that she’s the most go with the flow. I do also love when Mei is the one most aware of her parents’ flaws and most critical as the eldest, but not in this fic. Meijack grows up to never touch a drop of alcohol, what people joke is the one difference between her and her father. Flertom drinks, too much sometimes, but she considers drinking should be a social activity rather than a habit. Puckpatti only drinks on special occasions when she has the chance.

They already don’t have that much time together because of his work, I wonder how big of a percentage the amount of memories the daughters have of him are when he’s not himself truly… How they kinda reconcile it all. It’s their normal. 

And the thing that’s gutting too, is that Chil always looks so so much more open, relaxed, cheerful and happier when drunk than he usually is. He doesn't know how to get his defenses down without alcohol

"you're all that's good"

Because we do see how he truly used to not be so closed off and bitter. But distrust and fearing for betrayals from both coworkers and then his wife aka the person who’s supposed to be closest to him (he doesn’t even have close family besides his daughters. Does he even have close friends) turned him into what he is now. He was so cheerful!! Happy and trusting and optimistic.

He leaves and she left

God there’s the whole ‘wife leaving him’ trauma too is the thing… It had to have fucked him up so bad like no wonder he got paranoid and decided not to open up to ANYONE like. He never saw it coming is the scariest thing. He didn’t expect her to just up and leave. He didn’t see the warning signs. He won’t know if it’s coming this time either.

….. But then also, why he didn’t reach out to her (besides hurt) was because it was a petty silence treatment, like "oh she left without saying a word? Fine well I won’t reach out to her either" <- man who is so not fine and collected about it. It’s been FOUR YEARSSSSSSS I wonder if he always was like… "This week she’s gonna send a letter. … Ok fine, this month she’s gonna crack. … Within the year she’ll come crawling back." and it’s a bit why it was allowed to go on for this long unchecked like… Why he still considers her his wife even though functionally she’s more of an ex by that point after 4 years.

I can never stop thinking about him and his wife they’re fucking crazyyy. Him not reaching out to her started as a silent treatment from frustration. She never reached out to him either, she just up and left, didn’t even leave or send one last letter she’s just gone and has left this all behind, the house and everything in it. It’s been 4 years but he still considers her his wife and considers themselves only "estranged", "due to circumstances we haven’t seen each other in years". His face in the panel he said this is interesting too, trying to be casual but defensive and exasperated, already dreading the judgement and questions. He moved out of his house to rent a place in Kahka Brud instead. How much of him not reaching out was avoidance… Guilt, frustration, sadness, confusion, just procrastinating and dread and fear of a rejection more concrete, or something else… Maybe realizing he doesn’t miss her as much as he should, not enough to chase after her or try to get her back, just resigning himself to it… Is he a bad husband, is he a bad person? Should they reconcile?

Not seeing it coming… It’s half trust, that this person who’s so dear to you could never just up and leave and hurt you like that, half entitlement, thinking that she would never think of leaving, and third it’s blinding himself to the warning signs, not wanting to believe or acknowledge them. Because like, there WERE some, he said she "suddenly fell into a bad mood on the way back [from the outing]" and I don’t think he’s too dumb to be aware that something was off, he literally just dismissed it and then went surprised pikachu face when it turned out things were indeed off.

Part of it is definitely, how do you even react if your wife walks out on you without warning. If it happened to me I think that I wouldn’t reach out for a while either, wait for them to reach out to me first, give them space. As I put it in one of my marchil wips, "I respect your right to be rid of me too much to try and shackle you to me if you want to leave". Inaction is easier than admitting he’s scared to check and find out that the worst case scenario is true. It’s been years and he still hasn’t worked it out why she left. Do you think that’s on purpose. That he doesnt want to know for sure. It’s so so so scary to try and do anything about it

He said he didn’t reach out right away when she left because he was petty and wanted to give her the silence treatment back. Ok but is it that he blames her for their marriage falling apart or does he blame himself and he’s just misdirecting the conflicted feelings? Did he not reach out because a part of him was too scared to know why she left or if she would refuse to come back? Did he just think that she’d come back on her own, and things would get fixed while still staying unsaid and unconfronted like they always have, the first month, then the next and the next, until it was a year in and it sunk in that oh, maybe she wasn’t coming back?

He seems genuine here when he says that he was angry about it and gave her the silent treatment, but it is an habit of his to lie to make himself look worse instead of showing vulnerability, so who knows.

He is so so scared of being affected by relationships. Same thing with his compulsive habit to disguise his worry for anger. It’s why he doesn’t want people to have expectations of him, "I’m a coward I’m selfish", because then they can’t be disappointed, they can’t be surprised if he bites, they can’t leave when you lose what they’ve been staying for.

He has avoidant tendencies too. Every time there’s an interpersonal issue he just accepts it’s out of his control immediately. He’s passive when it comes to relationship problems, just like with coworkers, relationships are a ticking time bomb to him, and he just wants to be left out of it and come out unscathed. It comes back to his pessimism. He doesn’t think that like, things could be better. According to him life is tough and cruel, you accept your lot in life and make the best out of it and that’s it. If people are scummy you don’t whine about how unfair it is, you close yourself off and work to not be taken advantage of again and adapt. So then with his wife, when Marcille is like "Have you tried… Talking?" it’s such a crazy idea that it might work at all, that he could have the power to fix things… And that’s why it’s such a big deal when he goes "Alright I’ll try… I don’t know if it’ll go as well as in the stories, but I’ll try". That CRUMB of allowing himself to be hopeful is so huge

Honestly for the longest time I misread this bit, I thought she left in the night like how Marcille framed it, but no she left after he left for work. She left after he left again.

The way it’s told, it really sounds like Chilchuck just came home from work, stayed probably a couple of days in which they went to that outing together, then left for work again right away/soon after and it’s like. Was that outing the most special thing you guys did together. You came home from like a month of work, you had one outing where she ended up having a bad time, y’all didn’t talk about it further and then you left for another couple of weeks. Are you kidding me

Your married life is waiting for your husband to come home, spending mediocre time together, being shut down when you voice discontentment, and things being left unaddressed before he leaves again.

She left when he was gone for work, but did she leave the day of, or did she flip flop on it and took a while before working up the strength to leave? Was she waiting to see if he’d say anything before leaving and when he didn’t that was the last straw?

Chilchuck trying to prove a point that half-foots can make it out there, trying to rely more on himself because that’s the only person he can trust. His wife feeling like he's leaving her behind (because he does. over and over and over and over.) This guy just keeps throwing himself into work because he thinks it's what's best for everyone. Hey sir neglecting emotional needs can be kinda detrimental to everyone involved, I think you might wanna know that ^ quotes courtesy of @soappox

And to come back to alcoholism for a bit, alcoholism is alcoholism, and someone asked why I thought that a Chilchuck with depression would drink and cope through alcohol, since drinking seems to be something cheerful to him. It does puzzle me a bit but it’s worth going over, so… I don’t think him using drinking as a coping mechanism is far fetched at all. Cheerful drunks that are alcoholic still can absolutely use alcohol in ways like that. If something makes you happier, or even just more numb which translates to you feeling more free etc etc, then I definitely think it tracks that he’d keep drinking. Like personally I do think he’d drink a lot after his wife left him, and in rough patches like that. Depression -> not wanting to have to think, the days are blurring together and you either don’t want to be conscious or you want to feel something etc etc -> drinking for the alcohol. Alcoholics tend to be, well, dependent on alcohol. If something bad happens etc they’re usually more likely to go harder on it rather than stop. We can debate on when and why Chilchuck first started to drink but it’s straight up his favorite food now and it’s deeply ingrained in his life, in his favorite outings and activities and priorities and moods and meals. A CHEERFUL DRUNK IS STILL A DRUNK!!! They drink to get happy not drink because they are happy, though obviously the two can have overlap.

Chil represses sooo much. His solution to interpersonal conflict and feelings is just don’t think about it and dull your feelings & senses to everything ✨ I love him. I need to kill him with hammers Like the other day I was thinking about an AU where he might have ran away from his neglectful home or something, but then I remembered he deals with everything including his family by dulling his feelings and senses to things 🫠 He wouldn’t leave

I’d say he doesn’t look troubled by loss through death, moreso loss through mistakes. His nightmare is his daughters dying yes, but moreso them being killed, there’s an axe in the wall etc, it’s about having failed to protect them.

If he can’t fuck something up or if he’s already fucked it up there’s this pacifying sense that he can’t have the rug pulled from under him, because that’s what having connections is, having a wife isn’t an insurance it’s a rug waiting to be pulled. And his brand is sort of Flawed Mr Mistakes Man so he’s kinda been having to cope lol. I do think he throws himself into workaholism, because it’s sort of the only way to live he knows, making yourself capable and useful and spending his days working like that, less time to think, too tired to think. Senses dulled, senses that are usually too sharp, cutting with clarity that he prefers ignoring and avoiding. Work is something he doesn’t have to feel through, something that gives him pride and self-esteem, something through all the danger and life or death risk feels safer, emotionally. No one taught him how to deal with things another way, it’s always been suck it up and work.

Conclusion

Stop smoking we love you and we don’t want you to die

No drinking will not externalize your feelings no it won’t vent them out well please Chilchuck ple-ea-ease…….

</3 They should invent an alcoholism that doesn’t make you dysfunctional and hard to be around

^ Drunk, by The Living Tombstone

I’ve been thinking about enneagrams and Chil is 6w7 highkey. Becomes 3 when stressed, a little 8 but it’s more that he wants security so much that he becomes paranoid rather than having the core of an 8 y’know. I haven’t dug into it for quotes yet but this paper goes hard if you’re curious.

Dropping my relevant Spotify playlists here bc why not: Chilchuck & his wife, marchil angst

#I’m allergic to making short casual speculation posts apparently #Dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #chilchuck’s family #Chilchuck’s wife #theories #meta #analysis #It was mother’s day when I decided to gather my old discord message and work on posting this so. Not fixing that intro #I’m always too late </3 #Marcille singing A Girl Worth Fighting For @ Chilchuck #Spoilers #i lost half of this post TWICE. This is my Joker arc #Hopefully i can finish my web weaving about this today #Chilchuck is so cool I wish dads were real #Chilchuck “my family doesn’t need me” tims #This almost killed me it’s not even the topic it’s bc tumblr wanted me dead. This silly post. It was supposed to be CASUAL and SHORT #Analysis #i just ended up talking about chil a lot again. Give me excuses to talk about him more #Character analysis #meijack #Puckpatti #flertom #fanfic #Fumi rambles

[ecto-american]

DannyMay 2019 themed story, I’m not late I’m just going my own pace pls be nice to me

Ectoplasm | Broken | Glass | Theory | Community | Eavesdropping | Worldbuilding | Accident | History | Shape shift | Or Read on AO3. |

Day 28: Puppet

The process felt like it would never end. The worst part was the painful lack of results. Two hours of searching through textbooks, and they found little to work with.

Jazz had been faithfully taking notes in neat handwriting on anything possibly worth referencing. She paused only to sip coffee and occasionally ask Ohmer a question. Like her, the lawyer was focused and kept her eyes mostly glued to the pages as she applied sticky notes to relevant places.

Jack couldn't concentrate at all.

He stared at the pages, his mind skipping over words and forgetting the last paragraph. The text was so small, with many words he didn't quite understand. Jack wasn't a lawyer or a brilliant teenager. He was an ecto-biologist. None of this made sense to him. He was useless. Useless to even do a basic thing to help his son. He had retreated to the lawyer's couch to properly stretch out and to give the girls more space to spread out the books.

The office phone began to ring. Ohmer's hand shot out to answer it immediately.

"Hello, this is Elizabeth Ohmer," she greeted. A weak smile came across her face as she forced a small chuckle. "Yeah, I'm still here. Did you get my message?" She sighed and leaned back in her chair, only to immediately sit up again. "Oh? Yes, I will still be here...Please drop on by!" Jack watched the lawyer curiously. "Thank you, see you in a little bit! Mhm! Goodbye!"

She hung up, and she sighed heavily in relief.

"That was one of the other lawyers I called, his name is George Payne, who'd have more knowledge," she explained to the pair.

George Payne...George Payne...that name rang a bell…Jack knew that name...

"That's V-man's lawyer," he suddenly realized. "George Payne, from Payne and Slaughter Firms?" Ohmer nodded, and Jazz went pale.

"You know him?" she asked curiously. Jack half-shrugged.

"Mayor Masters has been a family friend for decades," he explained. "He's had Payne and Slaughter representing his company for a long time, they're the only people he really trusts to represent his businesses anymore. I've never formally met George, but I know he works closely with Vlad." Ohmer seemed surprised, but she nodded.

"George and his partner are both primarily corporate law, but I know they also have a lot of experience with other legal issues," Ohmer replied. "They're a big company these days, they can handle almost any type of legal case you have anymore."

"So is Mr. Payne coming?" Jazz finally spoke up. Ohmer nodded.

"He said that he and his partner, as well as Mr. Masters, would be here very shortly," she replied.

Excitement and relief washed over Jack. Who better would help him than the family friend? A politician, a billionaire, his best friend. Even though he knew Vlad didn't know, Jack already felt at much more ease knowing that Vlad was coming to help, somebody who had more power.

"Vlad's coming too?" Jack questioned. He glanced at Jazz, smiling warmly. Their luck was turning around, but Jazz...she looked even more distressed at this. His smile dropped in confusion.

"That's what Mr. Payne said," Ohmer told them. She stood up, stretching. "In about twenty minutes, so I think I'm gonna take a break. Get something to eat."

"Yeah, sounds good. Jazz? Wanna grab something from the cafeteria?" Jack questioned. He saw Jazz smile weakly.

"Okay," she agreed.

A knock came at the door. Instead of waiting for any reply, a man in a formal gray suit and briefcase opened the door, followed by another man that also had a gray suit and briefcase. Lastly was a familiar face.

"Vlad!" Jack breathlessly called out in relief, standing up. The billionaire paused in shock at seeing him.

"Jack?" Vlad asked curiously. "What are you doing here?"

"I admitted Phantom into the hospital," Jack explained, and he took a step to Vlad, putting a hand on his shoulder. Understandably, Vlad looked skeptical and yet curious as to Jack's claims. Jack didn't blame him. Even to Vlad, he was never subtle about his...previous interests. "Please, can I have a moment? I really need to talk to you about something."

"Not now, Jack." Vlad tried to shrug off Jack's hand, but Jack clutched his friend's upper arms tightly.

"Vlad, please, it's important," he pleaded. Vlad's face scrunched up, and he silently stared at Jack. He gave a deep sigh, and he motioned for Jack to follow him.

They stepped out into the hallway, and Vlad half-closed the door behind him. Jack had no clue where to even begin. How could he explain to his best friend why, without exposing Danny?

"Vlad, it's super important that your lawyers find a way to get Phantom into my custody."

"So what?" Vlad seemed oddly...more bored than any kind of shock at this statement. "So you can dissect him? Absolutely not. I'll let you in on a little secret, Jack." He leaned into him, and he lowered his voice a bit. "Phantom's actually my son." Jack's entire body froze in horror at what he knew immediately was a lie. He stared at Vlad, wide-eyed. "He's a bit rebellious, wanting to go against me, so this is just the perfect opportunity for me to get him home, safe and sound. So no, Jack. I'm not going to entertain the idea of putting my son in your hands like that."

"Vlad, I...I don't think you understand." Where was Jack even supposed to begin?

His friend rolled his eyes at him.

"Jack, you don't understand. This is between a father and his son, and this is also politics," Vlad told him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure my boy gets home safe and sound."

Vlad didn't wait for any reply. He left a stunned Jack standing in the hallway, going into the room and shutting the door behind him. Jack could only stare at the door, his mind going a million miles. This was just an elaborate, dedicated ploy. It had to be. Vlad was just doing what he could to protect the hero of his town. This son claim, it was only to trick the lawyer into signing him over. Vladdy didn't know, he was just doing what he thought was best. But why the lie, why? Vlad had the money and power to just take Phantom, wouldn't he? Why lie about Phantom being his son?

Jack hurriedly pulled himself together, opening the door and closing it behind him. Vlad paid no attention to his presence, though the lawyers that accompanied him gave a polite headnod. They stood off to the side. Jack could barely muster one in return as he stood with Jazz. She stood in the corner of the room, holding the book she was reading earlier to her chest as she watched on in worry. A distinct fear that stirred feelings of unease within Jack himself. Vlad was standing in front of Ohmer, who continued to stay seated at her desk as she patiently listened to Vlad.

"So, if you just release Phantom into my care," Vlad seemed to be ending a small speech when Jack finally tuned in, "I will handle all the legal fees."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Masters, but I can't do that," Ohmer lightly frowned. Vlad seemed unfazed by this, giving an understanding nod.

"I meant after his surgery and recovery, of course," he said, and he gave a dazzling smile. One that Jack was all too familiar with. A political smile. "I want my son to be safe and sound when he returns."

"No, Mr. Masters," she replied, shaking her head. Her fingers fidgeted with a pen in her hand. "Forgive me for saying this, but this confession, this, this uh, revelation of sorts, that Phantom is your son is a bit hard for me to grasp." Vlad made a face.

"Of course he's my son," Vlad insisted. Every time Vlad claimed that, Jack felt lightheaded nausea and confusion. Ohmer raised an eyebrow at him.

"Then...why would you so publicly campaign against him during your election?" she questioned. Vlad paused, observing her for a moment.

"Do you have children, Miss Ohmer?" he asked. The lawyer nodded.

"Yeah, I actually have a daughter about Phantom's age," she replied. Vlad gave a smile.

"Then you probably understand how rebellious teenagers can be," he spoke. "We have a bit of a...complicated relationship, but as you know, you always love your children. Even when they act out in such a manner against you." Ohmer leaned back in her chair. She looked obviously skeptical of his story.

"Once Phantom is out of surgery, can he confirm that you are his father or legal guardian?" she asked. Vlad sighed with obvious fake dramatics before shaking his head.

"You will simply have to take my word for it, Miss Ohmer. I'm afraid he'll deny it. You know teenagers."

Ohmer shook her head, lightly tapping her pen on the desk.

"No, Mr. Masters," she replied. "I cannot just take your word for it, especially considering that even you will admit that he will not confirm your story. And this is on top of your very public campaigns against him. You've shot at him before. And you've revealed in interviews before that you had put that million dollar bounty on him. I don't think a judge would allow for a child to stay within a home under those conditions."

Vlad's face had been dropping with every single word she said. On some level, Jack felt relief. The billionaire glanced at his lawyers with a raised eyebrows. They simply nodded to him.

"I'll sue this hospital," he threatened. Ohmer gave an exhausted sigh. "I'll sue this damn hospital for not allowing me to see my child."

She stood up, digging through a drawer in her desk for a few moments. She took out some legal looking papers, looking towards the lawyers standing off to the side instead of Vlad.

"We can do a DNA test," she suggested, and she offered them the papers. Jack could see a flash of panic run across Vlad's face. Vlad's lawyers took the paper, glancing at each other before nodding in approval. "And if that DNA test comes back as a match, then as the biological father of Danny Phantom, Mr. Masters will be given all the legal rights of parenthood."

"I shouldn't have to take a DNA test! That's my child!" Vlad spoke loudly.

"Then take the DNA test so that we can all be legally in the clear," Ohmer told him.

Vlad's eyes darkened as he stared intently at the lawyer before him. Ohmer flinched, but she stayed standing straight.

"Let me speak in a language more people can understand then," Vlad replied. He glanced to his lawyers. They simply watched him.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a thick wad of hundred dollar bills. Jack's eyes grew to the size of saucers upon seeing it, and even Vlad's own lawyers looked impressed. That had to be thousands of dollars right there in the palm of the billionaire's hand. A drop in the bucket for him.

Vlad offered it out to Ohmer, but she kept her eyes locked with his.

"I am Danny Phantom's legal guardian, and he will be discharged into my care. If you make this happen, consider this fifty thousand dollars right here completely yours. Under the table, cash free."

The temptation to take it was there. Jack could see it in her eyes, and she said nothing for a moment. Ohmer finally glanced down at the money, the comically huge stack of hundred dollar bills.

"No."

Vlad's face dropped in surprise, and the hand around the money clenched in anger.

"What do you mean," he asked. Jack felt goosebumps at how angry and cold his best friend's voice was sounding, and an odd feeling was beginning to fill him. "No?"

For the first time since Phantom was admitted to the hospital, Ohmer looked a bit nervous. But to her credit, she stood her ground and never looked away.

"I stand by my statement," her voice quivered slightly, but she still spoke firmly. "I'm sorry, Mr. Masters."

Vlad said nothing for a moment. He kept locked in a staring contest with the lawyer. Jack could see Jazz nervously fiddling her thumbs as she watched on in worry. He squeezed her shoulders assuringly, shooting her a smile. He kept trying to tell himself that Vlad had Phantom's best interest at heart. But Jazz's glance back to him made his stomach twist, and he knew he was only fooling himself.

"A hundred thousand," Vlad suddenly spoke. Ohmer blinked.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"I'll have a hundred thousand dollars brought here. Right now," Vlad bargained.

Vlad studied her coldly. Jack's hands squeezed Jazz's shoulders lightly as it hit him. Vlad was scaring him. He had never seen the cheerful billionaire in this kind of light. Why would he even want Phantom that badly?

Ohmer didn't budge.

"No."

"Three hundred thousand." Vlad had not wasted a second. Ohmer's lower lip quivered in temptation.

"No."

"Five hundred thousand." Jack's heart raced hard as the prices were quickly going higher and higher. He knew Vlad had no price limit for things he truly wanted. "That daughter of yours could go to any college her heart desires. No debt. Enough left over to probably pay off your mortgage, no?"

Jack's grip on Jazz's shoulders tightened, and he only loosened when she let out a small whimper of pain. He murmured an apology as he saw Ohmer staring back at Vlad. Half a million dollars. That was so much money. A comical amount. Vlad would have to deliver that much money on a rolling cart or something.

"No."

Vlad shot her a dirty look of annoyance.

"Name a price, then."

Ohmer's eyes narrowed at him, and she glared right back at him.

"Phantom's not for sale."

Vlad huffed angrily. Jazz and Jack stayed silent as they watched the affair unfold. An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Even Vlad's lawyers shifted from foot to foot as Ohmer and Vlad stared each other down.

"Mr. Masters, I am not another political puppet that you can make dance with a bribe. If you are Phantom's father, then you should have nothing to fear by taking a DNA test," she told him. Vlad said nothing for a while, but he finally seemed to break.

"Fine."

Ohmer nodded. She reached for her phone, dialing an extension for the hospital. Somebody on the other end picked up, and Ohmer spoke sweetly into the phone, requesting a DNA test to be performed. Jack could hear her briefly explain the situation. After a brief exchange, Ohmer hung up, looking up to Vlad.

"You can go to the third floor, to Dr. Bird's office. He'll perform the swap for you, and we'll get back to you as soon as possible," Ohmer told him. Vlad continued to stare angrily at her.

He snapped his fingers, and one of the lawyers stepped forward. The lawyer pulled an envelope out of his inner jacket pocket, handing it to Vlad. Vlad handed it to Ohmer.

"Go ahead and give this to my son when he wakes up. Tell him if he knows what's good for him, that he will call me when he gets the chance." His voice was chilling, and Ohmer simply nodded. "Otherwise, tell him to have fun rotting in ghost prison."

Vlad turned on his heel, and he opened the door to the office harshly, slamming the door behind him. The lawyers followed him, opening the door but closing it more gently, both of them bidding a polite farewell to Ohmer and the Fentons.

Soon as the door closed, Ohmer picked up the phone again. Jazz returned to her seat across from Ohmer, opening the book with slightly shaky hands. Jack moved to his old spot as well.

"Hello? Dr. Bird? Yeah, I just called you. Listen, can you somehow do that swab I just told you to do, but twice?...Yeah, don't tell him about the second one...Mhm, I don't trust him either...There's just, something off about his story, ya know?...Thanks, you're the best." Ohmer hung up the phone with a deep exhale. She rubbed her face, and Jack's mind raced.

Why was Vlad so hung up on this? So reluctant to take a test, his lawyers, the everything? And his behavior, he was so...stand offish. Vlad had never talked or treated him like that before. Or, well, he kind of had, but very briefly and only in passing and rarely, but now? What? Why was Phantom so important? Why was his son so important? It's not like it'd help Vlad's campaign or anything. In fact, it'd possibly be worse if the town found out that Vlad was harboring Phantom, or if he accidentally found out that it was Jack's half ghost son.

Oh god. Oh god.

No...no...it couldn't...Vlad couldn't…

Jack felt his legs grow weak, and he made himself sit down in the seat. He made no moves to grab the book had previously been forcing himself to try and read. It made so much sense. The ecto-acne...the proto-portal...the years spent ignoring him...the hesitance to become close again…

Vlad...Vlad was also half ghost, and he had to be terrified of Jack too.

It sounded so crazy, but this entire day had been a crazy one. Why not throw a little more on top of it? His son and his best friend both being half ghost. Insane right? What are the odds? High. Very high when...a lot when you caused it. Danny and the Fenton Portal...it was too similar to Vlad with the pro-portal...

But who on Earth would Vlad be? Jack tried to picture Vlad with inverted colors, like Danny, and his mind drew a blank. Nobody came to mind. No ghost he had ever seen. He was stumped immediately. But it had to be true. It made too much sense. Jack caused his best friend and son to...become the very thing he constantly hunted, dissected, talked about and experimented on.

No wonder he wasn't that close to either, much as he wanted to be and tried. Both must be terrified of him.

"Dad? You okay?" Jazz's voice broke him of his stupor, and he locked eyes with her. Without any words exchanged, he knew that she knew what he was thinking. Her eyes shied away, and Jack's gut twisted. Jazz knew. Ohmer spared only a brief glance to them before she had returned to flipping through the book before her.

"I'm...I think I need to stretch my legs a bit more," he replied, standing up. He still felt weak, but the room felt so hot and stuffy. "Get some air."

"Do you want company?" Jazz questioned. Jack shook his head as he went to the door, grasping the knob tightly. He didn't need her to come along, to confirm his worst fears and to unintentionally assure him that he was, indeed, a horrible friend and father.

"I'll just be a few," he replied. He forced a weak smile, and he left to take a much needed walk. There was just simply too much to think about.

#my phics #phics #dannymay #my dannymay #my dannymay19 #dannymay19 #jack fenton #jazz fenton #broken ectoplasm

[futurewriter2000]

Please, Mr. Jailer - Pt. 2

A/N: So, I’ve finished it. Finally. I’ve been having this in my drafts for so long but I’ve finally finished it. I’m finishing all my fics I’ve started writing but never finished. Some of them are getting a whole rewrite. 

REQUEST: Omfg please mr. Jailer was spectacular I can't believe it I'm buzzing and asdfghjkl!! Could you please pLeAsE tag me? I'm so frickin excited I can't breathe xx

Xx

It was a laugh, honestly. The whole chase was a laugh and you couldn't help yourself but feel your mouth curve into a wider smile as you ran through the woods.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, (Y/N)! JUST STOP!" he bellowed after you, sending a few red flashes as he did.

And you laughed because it was funny. You turned left and hid behind an enormous tree trunk, placing your hand over your mouth so you don't let out another giggle.

"BOLLOCKS!" he shouted as he finally stopped running and took a breath.

And that was your chance. 3, 2, 1! " STUPEFY!" you shouted, pointing your wand at him and letting its tip let out a red flash, making the black haired Auror fly on the other side of the woods, hitting his head pretty hard.

---

He opened his eyes slowly, his head banging and voices ringing in his head.

"Just go. I'll be up there in a minute." a whisper came from the upper floor as the door shut and steps started to become louder.

His eyelids were so heavy he barely lifted them up to see. Soon as he managed to do that he looked around and felt the tight rope around his wrists and ankles.

"Bloody hell." he groaned and rolled his eyes, starting to look around the room.

"Not so great, is it?" you smiled as you pulled yourself a chair and sat right opposite of him. "Being tied up in some dark room, not knowing where you are."

" You must be overjoyed." he sent you a fake smile before trying to woggle his wrists out of the ropes, jumping with the chair and his feet somehow glued to the floor. "What the...?"

"Oh I used Colashoo on you." you pointed at his feet. "Just being cautious."

"You gotta be kidding me." he let out another groan as you let out a chuckle and stood up.

"Nope. And it's only Monday, so get comfortable."

---

Tuesday

"I hate this-" he wiggled in his chair. " And I hate this stupid chair-" he wiggled again. "And this stupid room-" he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing." And ARGGHHH!" he let out a desperate scream.

" You really don't fancy being in a dark room," you said as you sat on the stairs with a bowl of cereal in your lap.

"Let. Me. Go," he growled, his dark curls blocking his ferocious grey eyes.

"I could..." you stood up and walked over to him. You put one hand on his chair and leaned forward so the two of you were dangerously close. " But I won't." your expression suddenly fell and you had the same fire in your eyes as he did. " You thought I was going to use the Killing Curse on you back at your place." you glared and he stared, not changing his expression at all. " That is why you were relieved, weren't you?"

"With a Rosier blood like yours, I had nothing else to expect." he snarled and you felt your heart spiked my a small tip of a dagger.

But you shook it off. "Remember Sirius...you are a Black, not a Potter."

He started to shake the chair again, fury burning inside of him. "ARGHHH!!!" he screamed again, glaring at you. "I SWEAR! As soon as I get out of this I'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR COUSIN!"

" Bye, Black!" you started to walk away, his shouts screaming behind you.

"Get back here! You little-!"

---

Wednesday.

He was finally able to step, barely lifting his weight of the chair as his stomach gave a growl.

He was prepared. A silver pocket-knife in his hand as he slowly made his way upstairs. He was feeling furious with you, prepared to finally take you down and escort you to the Ministry.

He unlocked the door, the voices slowly becoming louder...

" And so he hopped his way on the path to his grandfather, meeting his friend Otto the canary. " you smiled and continued to read as the little boy beside you slowly started to drop his eyelids. " ' Hello there Hopper. What are you doing on this dark path?' the canary asked and Hopper answered. ' I am going to see grandfather, to give him honey and milk.' " you started to drop your voice and looked as he started to breathe a bit fainter. "Come on, young man. You need to go to bed." you took his arms and wrapped them around your neck.

"But what if daddy comes home and I miss him?" he spoke sleepily, not even trying to fight back the sleep that was taking over him.

" You won't. I promise." you whispered and started to take him upstairs, not realizing the man hidden behind a wall...shocked.

As you put the little boy to bed, you made your way downstairs and found a known man sitting on your sofa, wand in his hand.

You raised your arms and stepped away. "Sirius, just leave. I'll go to the Ministry but you can't-"

"Is he yours?" he asked, cutting in and looking at you with his guilty eyes.

" Fabian?" you furrowed your eyebrows, deciding whether to tell him or not. "No." you finally decided to answer.

" Evan's?" he asked, his expression soft and calm.

You looked at the ground and lowered your hands. " He had him right after he graduated. He can't take care of him while he's running from the whole Ministry. Someone has to take care of him."

"Rosier? Reproducing?" he looked confused, almost as it was a miracle.

" Believe it or not, we are people." you rolled your eyes and started gathering the pillows from the sofa.

" Really? I always thought you resembled something more of a Ghoul it not." he joked around and you looked at him, gaping.

"How!" you threw a pillow at him, smiling. "Dare you!" you threw another pillow at him. "You dated me in Hogwarts." you pointed your index finger at him while squinting your eyes.

He grabbed the index finger and leaned forward, grinning. " I also lied a lot in Hogwarts. "

"You!" your eyes were wide yet your mouth beaming at him. He chuckled and let go of your finger, walking around the room and finally sitting down on the sofa.

"I'm hungry. Do you have anything to eat?"

---

“ It feels like old times.” you smiled at him, taking another scoop of ice cream and licking the spoon.

“ Bloody hell, that turns me on.” he grinned and winked as you put the spoon out of your mouth and into an ice cream bowl.

“ Exactly like old times.” you smiled and pushed the bowl away from you, sitting in your criss-cross position.

“ Come off it. Just like old times?” he scoffed. “ I’m supposed to bring you to the Ministry and here I am having ice cream with you.”

“ Isn’t that better than chasing me through the woods or either of us being tied down to a chair.” you winked, getting up and taking ice cream back to the freezer. “ Tell me.” you turned around and started walking back to him. “ Why did we break up?” you looked at him and he chuckled.

“ What?” he smiled.

“ Well, I feel like there is more to that break up that you led on.”

“ There’s not.”

“ You keep saying that but you’re the one that stormed out after mentioning it when I was being tied on that chair.”

“ Oh..” he looked at the ceiling dreamily. “ Good times.”

You laughed and threw another pillow at him. “ Come on, Sirius.” you continued to laugh. “ You got the answer while I was with the Deatheaters. Because of Fabian then just tell me why did we break up?” you were now looking at him seriously and he kept avoiding your eyes.” Sirius?”

“ I really liked you.” he smiled up to you and frowned immediately after. “ I really liked you and I didn’t want to end it with you so soon.”

“ But you did. I didn’t ask you to.”

“ And you took it so well.”

“ Took it well.” you scoffed. “ I was furious at you.”

“ Yeah right! You dated that McLaggen boy right after.”

“ Oh, I wonder why I would do that.” you pressed your index finger against his forehead. “ Why do you think?”

He stared, wheels in his head turning until he finally realized, making his grin immediately reappear. “ You tried to make me jealous!” he spoke triumphantly.

“ And apparently it worked.” you laughed, making his triumph quickly disappear.

“ But you liked me back?” he continued to smile, ignoring what you said before.

“ No, dumbass. I dated you because I date everybody I hate.” you retorded sarcastically.

“ WHAT!?” he started laughing out loud, hugging and hitting all the pillows you threw at him before. “ I knew it! I KNEW IT!” he pointed his finger at you and continued to taunt a bit.

“ You knew bullshit, Sirius.” you rolled your eyes and he hugged you from behind.

“ I knew it.” he smiled next to you and kissed your cheek. “ Though, one way or another I had to break up with you.”

“ And why’s that? “ you started to get more serious.

“ Because you’re a Rosier.” he spoke calmly, not even re-thinking the words that came out of his mouth.

“ Excuse me!” you started to get furious, pointing your finger at the door. “ Get out!”

He shot his head to you and his smile faded. “ What? Why?”

“ Get out!” you screamed more intensively now.

“ (Y/n). Honey...” he started to speak more sweetly to you, his hands trying to take a hold of you. “ It’s just that-”

“ No, you know what, Sirius. I don’t give a damn anymore. I told you why I talked to my brother. I told you who Fabian is, now you have to get out!” you snapped at him, staring at his blue eyes that you now despised.

“ But aren’t we going to talk about-”

“ No, we won’t. You’re not staying here to talk down on my family- My blood. You are not here to feel superior or to feel better. I don’t care anymore how you feel towards me or how you felt back in Hogwarts. All of that is over the moment you broke it off. And the reason for me being a Rosier is the most cowardly excuse!”

“ I-”

“ Leave!” you cut him off.

“ You don’t understand-”

“ LEAVE!” you screamed louder so that you heard something crack at the stairs.

You turned around and saw little Fabian peeking through the stair fence.

“ Hey, Fabe.” you now changed your voice completely. “ What are you doing up so late?”

“ I thought it was daddy.” he spoke innocently as a child that he was. His eyes though were stuck on the man standing behind you. “ Who’s that? Is he here to take you away from me?”

“ No, no-”

“ HE CAN’T TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME!” he shouted in your face, tears streaming down his cheeks as you moved away for a bit, realizing what he said.  He threw himself into your arms and kept squeezing you tightly. “ I won’t let go of you! I won’t let him!”

“ Hey, hey..” you hugged him as well. “ I’m not going anywhere, okay? He’s just someone from my past. Nobody important.” you continued to comfort little Fabian. You pulled away from him, watching his adorable, teary eyes let go of few tears before brushing them off with your sleeve. “ Now, why don’t you get back upstairs and I’ll come to tuck you in.” you bumped his nose and he giggled.

“ Okay.” and he was bolting upstairs.

“ Okay,” you whispered before turning back to Sirius and walking closer. “ Sirius, I don’t want any trouble. I just want Fabian to be safe.”

“ Nobody important?” he stared at you, tears holding back as he spoke to you.

“ Sirius...”

“ Yeah, I’ll leave.” he sniffed and cleared his throat, grabbing his coat and wand and walking towards the door. “ I’ll-” he stopped, not even turning around. “ I’ll tell them you’re in the clear, so you don’t have to worry about Fabian.”

You quickly put your hand on his shoulder, before he ran away from you yet again. “ Thank you,” you spoke softly, not even thinking of the fight the two of you had not so long ago. “ And Sirius.” you moved closer and hugged him from behind. “ You were and still are important to me. It’s just too complicated.” you whispered and let go of him softly.

He stood there at the threshold, breathing deeply and squeezing his eyes shut. You stared for a while, tears gathering, heart squeezing seeing him go.

His hand touched the doorknob but instead of twisting it he let go of the coat in his arms, the wand in his hand, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into a long-lasting kiss.

You’d have to admit you were surprised at first but you didn’t hesitate to think twice to kiss him back, your hands finding their way into his hair and your fingers gripping his curls.

It was a kiss, different from all of those you received from him in Hogwarts. It felt honest, pure, right.

“ Screw too complicated. It was complicated back then it’s complicated now. For all I know I could die tomorrow regretting not kissing you, regretting not telling how much I have thought about you since I left Hogwarts.” he whispered, his lips an inch apart from yours.

Your hands fell to his cheeks and you barely looked away from his gorgeous plump lips. “ Don’t you ever try to get away from me like that.”

#Sirius Black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #james potter imagine #james potter #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #peter pettigrew #peter pettigrew imagine #Marauders #the marauders #marauders era #marauders imagines #marauders imagine

[liveasbutterflies]

Final Thoughts...

Did I love the ending?... No. The ending was weak, messy and had holes, lots and lots of holes. HOWEVER does it sully my love for the series? Nope. Let’s discuss the good and the bad...  The Bad 

VP vs Yul This is my biggest gripe about the ending. The entire series was setting up for this big showdown between the Vice Premier and the Crown Prince. But their match ended literally within 20 mins into the episode. Talk about anticlimactic. I wished it was the Crown Princess that stuck a sword into her father’s chest. She saw Moo Yeon literally die via sword plunge to heart thanks to dad. I think it would have been poetic justice if we saw his demise in a similar fashion. Yes I know she’s heavily pregnant but I think it would have been better than him being shot at with arrows. It wasn’t even at the command of Yul to loose those arrows! Writer-nim let’s talk. 

Time jump... REALLY???  Yul couldn’t have given Yi Seo his journals 1 year sooner? What was he waiting for? Seriously though, what was he waiting for? She didn’t say meet me in a year to for me to figure this out. She literally rejected him. If the journals were the way for her to change her mind did it really have to take a time jump + a scheme with the King & Jae Yoon for Yul to deliver his journals to Yi Seo? For me time jumps are just a lazy way of writing while attempting cover plot hole ineffectively. 

The Good

WONSHIM The glue to the entire series. I love that we got to see their relationship bloom. At first they would have pull out each others hair if they could. But then we see the subtle changes to their relationship. When they’re falling for each other we’re right along side them rooting them on. Are we all the dad then? We saw how miserable palace life was to Yul. He literally counts the days he’s stuck in his “prison.” So to see both of them so relaxed and just so content with their simple lives together melts my cold heart. They’re just so darn cute. 

Song Joo Village They are amazing. So hilarious, warm, and lovable. Even you Ma Chil! I love the dynamic that they played off Yul especially when he was adjusting to the simple life. They were just so relateable and you wish you had neighbors like them. 

Jung Jae Yoon

I think he might be my fav. character out of the entire series. We saw that he was conflicted and at a crossroad. Love or Loyalty. Instead of being petty like most typical kdrama second leads, he chose the high ground and chose loyalty. Also he was rational about it. He knows that Yi Seo has only one man in her heart and its not him. Even though he’s very forward with his affection for Yi Seo and she knows that he is interested in her he wasn’t mean or petty about it. can we get an amen. 

Cinematography & Directing... Absolutely gorgeous! Whenever I’m able to go to SKorea again I want to visit all the filming sites. Its just so gorgeous! For the directing I love the attention to detail and the use of long and wide shots shown in the drama. 

I want to write more but it’s past 2 AM here and my eyes are about to seal shut. 

Overall I would give this drama a 7 out of 10.  I think its also good to remember that this drama was always geared towards the romantic comedy side and not the angst-ridden/I will rip out your heart and tear ducts via tragic story line. Not that it is an excuse but it makes sense I suppose as to why the majority of the last ep the writer might have wanted to get back to the cute and lighter side of the drama. Did they stick the landing in the end... For me they did but ended up walking away with a twisted ankle if you know what I mean.  It’s still a drama that I enjoyed watching. What do you guys think? 

Also I’m still very bitter about no hapbang. 

#100 days my prince #kdrama #kyungsoo #nam ji hyun #kim seon ho

[scriptautistic]

What are some obstacles an autistic parent might find when raising a baby?

This post is an answer to a question sent in by @theliterarybreaker

Part 2, about teaching sign language to an autistic child, will be posted tomorrow. You will find the post at this link.

Like all parents, autistic parents face obstacles, but it is important to me that in your writing you don’t inadvertently encourage the idea that autistic people can’t be good parents (spoiler: they can). So, please bare in mind that although I am going to talk about a lot of potential obstacles, these might not all be applicable to your character, and even if most of them are, this does not mean that your character is incapable of raising a child. Additionally, being an autistic parent comes with strengths and positive experiences. While I am going to focus on the obstacles, I am also going to include some of the good stuff :-)

This ended up becoming far longer than I had planned, so I have broken up the question under separate headings. These are: sensory factors; exhaustion and fatigue; social factors; executive function; and other characters’ perceptions.

Sensory factors

One difficulty an autistic parent might face is coping with their sensory issues. Here are some ideas of baby-related sensory difficulties:

Overfull breasts + chapped nipples = pain, pain, sensory hell

Babies smell? They smell of baby, which most people like, but might be overstimulating for your character. They also smell of baby wipes and clean nappies and dirty nappies and formulated milk etc. etc  

Babies crying

Prone to visual overstimulation? Unfortunately there’s now loads of baby equipment everywhere. Extra bonus: a whole bunch of it is brightly coloured

Conflicting sensory needs with the child, especially if the child is autistic.

Example 1: the character normally self-regulates by singing/shouting/grunting but this would wake up baby

Example 2: many babies need touch—skin-to-skin contact—but this is painful for your character

When you are writing, it would be good to also include some of the positive sensory experiences autistic parents can experience:

Rocking the baby (vestibular input)

The baby is a tiny, warm snuggle buddy

Soft soft skin

Watch ’em breathing

Smelling the top of baby’s head

Using baby toys for stimming

Pressure and weight of a baby sling/papoose

One hand on the baby’s chest as they sleep in a crib next to your bed

Another sensory difference to consider is that if your character was the one who gave birth, the sudden change in hormones might lead to problems with temperature regulation, as well as the more commonly recognised “roller-coaster of emotions”.

Exhaustion and fatigue

Your character is going to be exhausted. There will be the customary lack of sleep that accompanies having a baby and if your character carried the baby to term they will need to physically recover. There will be extra recovery time if your character went through a traumatic birth or a caesarian section. This is all pretty standard new-parent stuff! The reason that I am pointing it out is that your character’s levels of tiredness are likely to affect their sensory needs - they are likely to be more sensitive than usual. It is also likely that they will reach the point of shutdown or meltdown much sooner than they would under normal circumstances.

Social factors

There are potential social hurdles for an autistic parent raising a baby. Some of these are more inconveniences, whereas others have serious consequences.

Partner giving less attention - may be particularly difficult if your character struggles to express their emotional needs. Your character may be left feeling abandoned

The constant stream of visitors - lots of people want to visit the baby, but this means that the character has to do lots of tiring social engagement

Strangers often stop and talk to you when you have a baby - this means lots of social interactions with strangers, which can be very tiring

Neonatal classes - many parents do a lot of socialising at these classes, but an autistic character may struggle to navigate an unfamiliar social space

Other adults assuming that the character won’t be able to parent properly because of their ASD (I will return to this point later)

Of course, having a baby also can help with social situations - you have a script that you can follow (people tend to ask the same questions - ”how old is he?”, “what’s her name?”, etc), and having a baby gives you lots of excuses for escaping from social situations (you can take time out from the social gathering to go feed the baby/change their nappy/get them ready to have a sleep). These don’t necessarily make up for the increased social interaction, but can help.

Another positive social factor is the social bonding with the baby itself - here is this new person living with you; they are small and vulnerable but they need you. This is a new person who isn’t judging you, and who doesn’t use idioms that don’t make sense or lie about how they are feeling. It’s a tiny person with tiny fingers and they are amazing. Not all parents experience this, but for those who do it can be quite literally life-changing (this sounds like hyperbole but it’s not, having a baby can completely change how a person sees themselves).

Executive function

When your character has their baby, they will suddenly have many more responsibilities than they used to. The character may well find that these additional responsibilities tax their executive function.

It can take a long time for an autistic person to learn a new set of routines, and with a baby not only are there a lot of new routines, but there will continue to be more of them to learn as the months go on. There will be lots of new jobs for your character to do on top of the normal keeping house clean, keeping themselves fed, etc. If your character struggled with these, they may well find the additional tasks of sterilising bottles, pumping milk, and the many other baby-related tasks are a struggle.

To give an example of how executive dysfunction might affect your character, consider some of the steps needed for a visit to the doctor:

Your character has to:

recognise that they need to book an appointment

book an appointment (this might involve using the phone)

remember that they have an appointment

work out what they will say/do at the appointment

travel to the appointment

talk to the receptionist

talk to the doctor

Each of those points actually represents several smaller steps joined together! However, your character now has a baby, so now they have to make appointments for the baby as well as for themselves. In addition to the above, leaving the house becomes much harder - suddenly there’s a million things the character has to remember to take with them, so your character needs the planning skills to work out what is needed, check that everything is packed, and actually remember to take it with them.

Additionally, babies don’t tend to stick to plans made by their parents. To take the example of leaving the house to get to a doctor’s appointment, your character might find the baby throws up just before they leave the house, and so they have to get changed again. Or, to take another example, watching the Six O’Clock News might be an important part of your character’s routine. If the baby needs attention, your character is going to need to adapt, even though they may find the change of routine distressing.

Sometimes knowing that their child needs help means that your character is able to do things they wouldn’t be able to do if they were only doing it for themselves. Sometimes they might struggle to balance their and their child’s needs. Lots of parents end up comparing themselves to other parents, and some autistic characters might feel inadequate due to their disabilities. Other autistic characters might feel sure that they know the “right” way of doing things and feel superior. Most characters will be somewhere in-between as they learn what is possible for them and find their own parenting style.

Other characters’ perceptions

Content note: the following section contains references to discrimination against autistic people, specifically with regards to reproductive rights.

This last point is a particularly difficult one. Earlier, under “social factors”, I mentioned other adults assuming that the character won’t be able to parent property because of their ASD. Unfortunately, autistic parents can be discriminated against, especially if they are perceived as being “low functioning”.

Reproductive rights are very important, and unfortunately there is a history of forced sterilisation of autistic people. Even though forced sterilisation of disabled people is rare nowadays, negative stereotypes of autistic people mean that they are much more likely to lose custody of their children, even in cases where there is no evidence of any neglect.

The American National Council on Disability (NCD) produced a report in 2012 called “Rocking the Cradle: Ensuring the Rights of Parents with Disabilities and Their Children”. It is a long report, but ASAN provided a summary of the report’s key findings:

- Estimates indicate 6.1 million children in the U.S. have parents with disabilities – Nearly 1 in 10, almost 10% of the population.

- Parents with disabilities are the only community of Americans who must struggle to retain custody of their children.

- Removal rates of parents with psychiatric disabilities is as high as 70 – 80 %

- Removal rates of parents with intellectual disabilities is as high as 80%

- Extremely high removal rates and loss of parental rights for parents with sensory or physical disabilities.

- Parents with disabilities are more likely to lose custody of their children after divorce.

- Prospective parents with disabilities have more difficulty when it comes to accessing reproductive health care such as assisted reproductive technologies.

- Prospective parents with disabilities face significant barriers to adopting children

(Source: “ASAN Applauds National Council on Disability’s Report on Parents with Disabilities”)

The NCD report found that like parents with intellectual or psychiatric disabilities, autistic parents are subject to “unfounded stereotypes, claiming incapability to parent or risk of violence”. In addition to this, autistic parents “are often presented as uncaring or lacking empathy toward their children or spouses”.

These stereotypes are worrying, but what is scary is the impact that negative stereotypes have on autistic people’s lives:

“Despite research showing these claims to be inaccurate, they persist in guidance provided to family law professionals regarding autism and Asperger’s syndrome (a type of autism). For example, a 2003 article by a family law professional made the case that in high-conflict divorces in which one party has a diagnosis of Asperger’s, the fault should be presumed to lie predominantly with the autistic parent, even if evidence suggests otherwise. The long-term consequences of these stereotypes are significant—some parents who are on the autism spectrum have said that fear of discrimination in child custody proceedings keeps them from leaving relationships with abusive partners.”

(Source: “Rocking the Cradle: Ensuring the Rights of Parents with Disabilities and Their Children”, Chapter 7)

I know first-hand that it is possible for autistic people to be neglectful and abusive—just as it’s possible for allistic people to be neglectful and abusive, or people with long hair, or people who wear glasses, or, or, or—point is, autistic people are people, so some of them will be bad parents, but this is not because they are autistic. Assumptions like this harm autistic people and their families, and it is one of the reasons why I think that it is so important to have positive and realistic representations of autistic people in fiction.

Even if other people’s perceptions of your character do not lead to outright discrimination, your character has had a lifetime of being treated differently due to their autism, which has a negative impact. Ally Grace, an autistic mother with 4 autistic children, has said:

“The main challenges I face is having been treated as a damaged person and having grown up believing something was wrong with me. Of course, I know now that there is, and was, nothing wrong with me, but a lot of lingering thoughts make me feel faulty when I act in autistic ways. People believing me incompetent or emotionally lacking is dangerous in the sense that I could be assumed incapable of being a parent. And so, it feels very scary sometimes being an autistic parent, wondering whether one day my parenting will be seriously questioned due to discrimination and misunderstanding.“

(Source: “4 Moms Share What It’s Like to Be an Autistic Parent”)

Conclusion

So, this was my long answer to @theliterarybreaker​‘s question about obstacles an autistic parent might face when raising a baby. As I said in the introduction, although this post looks at the barriers facing autistic parents, there are many joys and strengths associated with being an autistic parent which I have not really touched on.

When writing a character who is an autistic parent, it helps to be aware of the prejudice that many autistic parents face. Although it is important to acknowledge difficulties with parenting your character faces, I would urge anyone writing an autistic parent to also show their character’s strengths and to consider the impact that damaging stereotypes can have on real autistic people and their families. It’s about realistically showing your character’s difficulties without dismissing their abilities.

Further reading:

“4 Moms Share What It’s Like to Be an Autistic Parent” (yes, I know I already linked to it)

Respectfully Connected, a group blog about neurodiverse families. Several of the mods are autistic parents, and they have a category about neurodivergent parenting

@autistic-parenting is run by an autistic parent (duh)

“Why Parents with Disabilities Are Losing Custody of their Kids” is a 2012 article from Time which tells the story of how ableism affected a blind couple and their daughter

#autism #parenting #family #theliterarybreaker babies #reproductive rights #ableism cw #eugenics cw #mod snail #masterpost