#i have sincerely done art my entire life

[loveofastarvingdog]

just spent so much time working on art and it is recognisably me. it has good and accurate proportions and shading. the eyes are pretty and shaped right. and somehow i still feel like a fake artist

#timothy's txts. #i have sincerely done art my entire life #i have done GOOD art #THIS is good art #and i still feel fake #what level of imposter syndrome is this because i’ve never felt it this intensely before in regards to my art #i am PROUD of this art and somehow it’s making me feel sick and ill about it because i feel like it’s not #‘’good enough’’ because i’m not a professional or more skilled or because i’m flying by the seat of my pants #just. need to remind myself i’m not less of an artist for taking a long time to make art or for not even sketching or doodling for months at #a time #maybe i’m just having all the bad stuff tonight to get it out of my system #because i keep feeling [redacted] too and i haven’t felt that in fucking. ages #and of course the other [redacted]s #oof for real #tw swearing

[antimony-medusa]

Anyways, prompted by nothing in particular (lies, prompted by a scroll through the tag this morning, that was bracing), I think it might be good to remember the things we like about other people in the community.

For example:

BBH fans are some of the most consistently hilarious posters on this sight. Absolutely fantastic mpreg posting, and the art is incredible with your guy on the whole spectrum from creechur to in drag. He has the range. I hope your guy gets pregnant in canon for you, you deserve it.

Tubblings, you post some of the most interesting meta concepts out of moments I have sometimes been in stream for and entirely missed. You are always watching and always ready to take a throwaway line and go "let's unpack that" and bring something heartbreaking out of it. I love getting out of stream and checking up on what Tubbo is up to and finding a) hilarious clips of the creator being out of pocket, b) some new analysis of a tubbo moment that turns me into the crycat meme.

Wilburians, your ability to take like nine streams and *continue to make content out of it* is inspiring. Your guy may not stream, but by god you are keeping the flame alive and you will be ready when he comes back. Please come back, Wilbur, there are so many men you could flirt with here. Leave New York alone, Wilbur, come back and talk to your daughter.

Mariana fans, not only do you have simply fantastic photos to share of your guy looking like a butch lesbian, those enrich my dash every time, but also I have laughed at jokes in a language I don't speak because your guy is so funny and the clips you are make and share are so good. The "mariana unpacks period products" is sincerely one of the funniest things I've ever seen, thank you so much for sharing it.

Etoiles fans, your art is SO GOOD. Like oh my god the Etoiles art is like 100% a banger EVERY TIME. Which is as it should be, your guy simply is that cool, but oh my god, the art is so good. I don't have more words here I am just flailing at the camera. The art is SO GOOD.

Bagi posters, your cubito is one of the most compelling actors on the server, for real, and you are so generous with translating whole speeches done in languages I don't speak. I sat just transfixed during that whole conversation with Cellbit after they discovered their relationship, because the emotion in the argument was so real, and then I scrolled down and found a whole translation and went oh thank you, now I know what people were saying. I'm sorry Empanada lost a life, but your creator's response to it was one for the record books in terms of emotional reaction, and I have seen some fully incredible animations made of it. You take amazing content and make something even cooler out of it, and I'm always so impressed but what you're up to.

Now you go. Tell me something you appreciate about another sub-community.

#qsmp #badboyhalo #tubbo #wilbur soot #el mariana #etoiles #oibagi #qsmp bagi

[shadesofecclescakes]

Are you a big fanfic reader? What have you read lately and what's been your favourite fic so far?

Oh mannnnnnnnn. Why don't you ask me to pick a favourite child while you're at it???

Just kidding. I don't have kids. But I assume having to pick a favourite would be hard if I did.

So, am I a big fanfic reader? YES. And what haven't I read lately? We are lucky enough to have so many talented writers in this fandom that it's possible to subscribe to numerous multi-chapter fics to the point where you're just constantly getting update emails. Which I do. It's great. It gives me something to do at work aside from, y'know, work.

*Me at work being smug about being paid to read porn* (Also I just wanted to look at this gif)

So what is currently on my endless update list? Coming up after the cut!

I am an absolute whore for human AU, so if you like that then you will probably like:

The Cure for a Broken Heart by @rofell

a medical student AU based in the Canadian medical system (I'm a Canadian so I was pretty excited about that). It manages to tackle the continued systemic discrimination of Indigenous people in our medical system (and in general), homophobia and the ensuing trauma from those things all while also being informative, funny, sweet, romantic and hot af. Like. It's so good.

Free by @maaikeatthefullmoon

This is another one with with a heavy topic that also does a great job of making sure to break it up with some excellent fluff, hurt/comfort and humorous moments. And it's handled with the sensitivity and thoughtfulness necessary to write something that takes place in a mental health ward and deals with some intense situations. Definitely make sure to read those author notes before diving in. They lay it out very thoroughly.

The Sincere Way by @tsyvia48

A martial arts AU. Crowley is a karate sensei and Aziraphale is his student. Slow burn that keeps you on the edge. The screams I have scrumt at my screen over this one. Plus you learn a lot about karate (but it never gets boring or over-explainey. Excellently balanced) which is pretty cool. Mostly light (there is some angst. This is the Good Omens fandom. I think we are all sad, wet chihuahuas at heart). Funny and sweet.

Terminus by @emotional-support-demon-crowley

Plus One by @caedmonfaith

Astronaut AU. Aziraphale is an astronaut who meets his mission controller, Crowley, over the comms system when he finds himself in need of assistance.

Super cool concept and really well-done in my opinion. Like, I don't do any space or physics-related work (ok I straight-up failed math 9) but I find it entirely believable. And it's well-written which is the entire point. Cute, funny slow burn with an intriguing mystery happening in the background.

Aziraphale has family money but a shitty family (except for Muriel! Never Muriel!) and his shitty brother Gabriel is getting married to shitty Michael, an Earl's daughter.

Aziraphale's family disproves of his entire life pretty much and he has been lying to them about having a boyfriend. Now they are expecting him to bring said boyfriend to the wedding. His famous footballer friend sets him up with their mechanic, Crowley.

It starts as a slow-burn but becomes a hilarious, smutty romp that just gets more and more insane. The chapter titles alone have made me cackle out loud.

Some older human AUs I'm a huge fan of include Old Vines by @sevdrag. Crowley owns a vineyard and Aziraphale is a wine critic. It is so amazingly written. It makes me think of the author Joanna Harris (Chocolat, The Five Quarters of the Orange) because it's SO beautifully, vividly descriptive that I end up craaaaaving wine. So have a bottle on hand if you're giving this a read.

Also the love story in this. My god. I devoured it. The story and the (many bottles of) wine.

There is also Loosely Ballroom by marginalia_device and mortifyingideal. It's a Strictly Come Dancing (Dancing with the Stars in North America) AU and it is so. Fucking. Good.

But it comes with a disclaimer. It's unfinished and looks likely to stay that way. But honestly? Still worth it. It's nearly finished (I think) so you have most of the story. And it's just SO good. It's been a while since I read it but it was one of the first human AUs I read and what got me hooked on them.

If you're still with me...nice! Just know that was me holding back and that isn't my entire list by a long shot. If you want more recs, feel free to message me and also share your own!

I just finished Slow Show the actor AU by @mia-ugly and yes please.

Some serious angst, pining and hot hot smut.

There is another long-form multi-chapter actor au I loooved but I can't remember the name for the life of me. Just that the show they were on was basically good omens and that they swapped roles with great success (inspired by the whole Michael thinking Neil wanted him to play Crowley when he wanted Aziraphale thing).

Thanks for the ask! That was really fun!

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #good omens fan fiction #good omens fic rec #good omens fanfic rec #ask

[joshym]

Le Morte d'Arthur: Chapter 1

Paring: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Summary: It all began with a passion for literature. What was once a dream to walk the halls of the University of Michigan is now a reality.

You thought you were prepared for everything.

A new town, a new school, a new way of life,

but what you were not prepared for…

was meeting the enigma that is Jake Kiszka.

Word Count: 8.8k+

Warnings: (for this chapter) mentions of stress & anxiety, mentions of a broken home, mentions of an ill, disabled parent, mentions of an oxygen tank & medications, jake is an asshole, (if I missed anything, please let me know)

a/n: it's here! i can't begin to express how excited i am to share this with everyone. this story has been in the works for quite some time now, & it's been such a joy to write. i sincerely hope you all love it. please don't be afraid to let me know what you think. 🤍

also, huge thank you to @jakeyt for being the best editor, & being my right hand in helping create this. i seriously couldn't have done it without you. love you SO much. you're the best sister i could ever ask for.

⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎

As you walk up the stone steps of Angell Hall, you feel as though you’re walking into a book filled with ancient Greek Mythology. The pillars that resemble the Parthenon temple, the delicate stone work motifs that portray Athena's owl and Pegasus; you’ve truly never felt more at home than you do at this very moment as you take your first steps inside the building that houses the English Literature courses. The inside is rich with artwork personifying poetry and myth. The intricate neoclassical design of the ceilings, complete with gold leafing and imperial medallions. The most incredible building you’ve ever seen, and one of the many reasons you decided to make the transfer to the University of Michigan.

It’s been no easy feat to get here. In fact, it’s been damn near impossible. It’s by the skin of your teeth that you’re here today, walking the very halls of your dream school.

The road to get here has been hell. Pure, unadulterated hell. You’ve saved every last penny to afford the move here, while trying to take care of your mom and her declining health. It didn’t help that your dad decided it was all too much for him and left a year ago, leaving the two of you alone with hardly the means to afford even the bare necessities. With two full time jobs, online classes at some bullshit university, and tending to your mom’s every need for the last year, it’s a fucking miracle you’re standing here today. 

It’s only been a month since you received your acceptance letter in the mail. You worked your ass off the last two years maintaining a 4.0 gpa to be sure you’d be accepted. You’d applied back in January and waited six excruciating months to hear back, obsessively checking the mail at least three times a day. 

One day, you noticed a rather large, crumpled envelope stuffed in your tiny mailbox. It was wet from a rainstorm that had hit earlier that day, but you could still make out the sender information. 

The University of Michigan

515 East Jefferson St. 

1220 Student Activities Building

Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1316

You knew that the contents of this envelope would seal your fate for the next two years. You were hesitant at first to open, scared of rejection. You let it sit for a few hours before finally ripping it open as quickly as your fingers would allow.

You pulled out the sopping piece of cardstock, stamped with a golden “M” at the top left corner.

Congratulations, y/n! 

You’re in! We are pleased to inform you that you are admitted to the University of Michigan College of Literature, Science and the Arts Junior class entering fall of 2023.

Within two weeks of receiving the letter, you and your mom packed up what little you had and left the sleepy town of Cherry Tree, Oklahoma. 

Up until now, you’d lived in this tiny town your entire life. You’ve been so ready to leave, to find adventure elsewhere that would allow you to spread your wings. You’d been held back there for so long. You knew it was time, and as much as she could, your mother supported your choice to leave and she was eager herself to get away.

You managed to secure a low income apartment in Ann Arbor that has accommodations for those with disabilities. It’s a shithole. But it’s your shithole. 

You’re solely responsible for any and all bills as your mom isn’t fit to work. You’ve got enough saved up to last about a month, so one of your first priorities is to find a job that will sustain you. 

Right now, though, your current goal is to find your first class in this massive building. It’s intimidating. Everyone here is walking past you in a hurry to get where they need to go as you’re stuck, still trying to figure out where room 3182 is. There aren’t signs anywhere to help guide you through the utter maze that is Angell Hall. You haven’t the slightest clue of where to start.

You try asking a few people, only to be met with vague points in general directions, or people simply telling you ‘up stairs.’

Where are the damn stairs? 

You start trekking along in an attempt to find them, when you see a large wooden door that’s cracked open just enough to see, finally, a staircase. 

Some progress.

Making your way to the third floor, you assume you’ve finally found where your class will be when you look at a room number… and it says ‘2548.’ 

Dammit. 

You head back to the stairs to make your way up to the next floor, and to your relief, the class numbers all begin with a three. 

You head down the long, dimly lit hallway in frantic search for room 3182, to no avail. The hallway has so many twists and turns with no guidance for direction. There may as well be a scarecrow with arms pointing in all directions saying ‘this way!’

You’re stuck yet again, unsure of where to go. You assume everyone is in their respective classes as the hall is barren, so there’s not a soul to ask. With only two minutes until class begins, you’re nearing the point of giving up. 

Anything is better than waltzing into class late on your first day, no less your first day at a university where no one knows you. What a fantastic first impression to make.

Suddenly, a man comes barging down the hall towards you. He looks a bit unapproachable, wearing a large brimmed black hat on top of his shoulder length hair, sunglasses that mimic ones worn by John Lennon in the seventies and a matching all black ensemble of linen pants and a button up, with only the last few buttons actually secured. He jingles as he moves due to an obnoxious number of necklaces sitting on his bare chest.

You’re not sure you want to bother him but desperate times call for asking strange men for directions.

“Hi, excuse me. Could you tell me where room-”

Without even acknowledging your basic existence, he seems to be in a hurry as he slams into you, knocking your brown canvas bag off your shoulder and effectively dumping everything out of it. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles as he quickly turns the corner, not even bothering to help you pick up the mess he’s created.

“John Lennon wannabe motherfucker,” you mutter under your breath as you bend down to gather your belongings. 

You hear footsteps coming closer to you, thinking just maybe he's decided to come back and make amends.

“Sorry about him, girl.” 

You glance up just as she’s kneeling down, offering to help with your scattered books.

“Don’t pay him any mind. He thinks he walks on water,” she says as she helps you shove the last of them in your bag, now all disheveled and out of your perfect order. 

“God, thank you so much. Would you happen to know where room 3182 is? I haven’t the slightest clue where I’m going.” 

“Just keep going down the hall until you reach the bathroom, take a left and it’s the second room on the right,” she says, with a warm smile.

You thank her again and quickly head in that direction.

At last, you breathe a sigh of relief as you approach room 3182.

With a deep breath, you open the door to the massive lecture hall that appears more like an auditorium with its pitched floor.  

All eyes are on you, the room dead silent as the professor glares at you. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late, I had the worst time-”

“No matter. Just take your seat and do it quickly,” he cuts you off.

You scan the room in search of an empty seat as everyone continues to silently stare at you, eyes burning holes in your soul.

This is exactly what you wanted to avoid.

Finally you spot one on the far right corner of the room. Swiftly heading towards it, you make a horrid discovery.

Mr. John Lennon wannabe is in the seat right next to the empty one. 

Of fucking course.

Grudgingly, you take your seat next to him. He shifts his body slightly away from you as you situate yourself, letting out a long, dramatic sigh once you're settled.

You decide to try and humble him with your southern hospitality, asking his name with a kind smile, to which he only responds by cocking his head in your general direction and not bothering to answer you.

What an ass.

“Now that it seems we finally have everyone here, let’s get things started. Welcome to English 450, The Quest for King Arthur. My name is Dr. Movack and I will be your instructor throughout the semester.” 

You start pulling out all of your books on King Arthur, annoyed that some of them now have bent pages thanks to the mysterious man wearing all black sitting to your left.

“One of the requirements to be accepted in this class, aside from the prerequisite courses, is to have more than just the basic knowledge of Arthurian lore.” Dr. Movack continues, “Taking that into account, there is no need to waste time in starting from the beginning. However, I would like to take a moment to test your knowledge. Each person who answers correctly will receive a point towards extra credit.” 

Dr. Movack begins going around the room, asking everyone basic questions and facts about King Arthur when he finally gets to you.

“I would like you to tell me which text offers the earliest reference to Arthur.” 

With booming confidence, you answer, “I believe it’s around the 7th century when he is briefly mentioned in the poem titled Y Gododdin.”

The John Lennon look alike on your left lets out an obnoxiously loud chuckle while shaking his head.

“Dr. Movack, it’s a well known fact that Arthur isn’t specifically mentioned until Historia Brittonum in the 9th century. She’s clearly wrong,” he blurts out. 

You know your stuff when it comes to this lore. You’ve studied it for the better part of your life and you’ll be damned if you let this man who, for whatever reason has developed a vendetta against you, try to outwit you.

“No, you are wrong. You obviously haven’t read the poem or you’d know he’s named when referencing the bravery of Gwawrddur.”

He waves his palm in your face in an attempt to silence you, the gesture causing your lip to curl in frustration. “Tell her, Dr. Movack. Tell her she’s wrong and has no idea what she’s talking about.” He asserts.

Talking about you instead of to you is a great way to piss you off and he’s on the right path towards it. His refusal to even look at you has you nearly in flames with rage.

“What’s your name, miss?” Dr. Movack asks.

“Y/n,” you respond.

Your heart is thumping out of your chest as you await the professor's response.

“It seems there may be someone here who knows even more than you, Kiszka.” Lennon’s jaw nearly hits the desk beneath him. “Y/n is absolutely right. Y Gododdin does, in fact, mention Arthur. The introduction is so slight that it’s often missed, but scholars argue that this piece does indeed contain the first true reference.” 

Even through his obnoxious sunglasses, you can see the frustration painted on his face. Proving him wrong in front of the whole class serves him right. 

Poetic justice at its finest.

You laugh through your nose and give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back, anticipating more praise from Dr. Movack when he says “However, miss, you will not receive your point for being late to my class.”

Lennon cackles at this, of course, feeling he’s somehow won this educational battle.

He answers his question correctly, receiving his point and commendation from Dr. Movack. 

He sits back in his chair, arms crossed with a smug face, wearing a ‘kiss my ass’ grin on his lips.

You just roll your eyes and look the other direction, envisioning yourself ripping those ridiculous sunglasses off his face. 

⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎

Something you’re not used to yet, and perhaps will never get used to, is the Detroit traffic. Stuck in your beat to hell ‘92 Firebird in bumper to bumper traffic, you’re at a near standstill as you’re desperate to get home after a long day of classes. What should only be a fifteen minute drive home has already lasted more than thirty, and you’ve hardly moved an inch.

You’re sitting in silence as you don’t even have the luxury of the radio to keep you company. You’re lucky enough that this car even runs with as much shit as it’s been through. A hand-me-down from a hand-me-down, losing parts and gusto after each set of hands it passes through. You figure you’ll be the last to drive it before it meets its timely end in the very near future.  

WIthout much else to preoccupy you at the moment, your mind is wandering with recollection of your first day at the school you’ve had your sights set on since your first comprehensible memory. Feeling like a fish out of water would be the most comfortable way to describe your day. It goes far beyond that. 

You know it’ll take some time to settle. But you’re afraid that time won’t fix the fact that you may not truly belong here. You’ve never really fit in anywhere, even in your tiny hometown that you’d lived in your whole life. You were never fully accepted there, so what makes you think you’d be accepted here? You’d always felt so isolated in Cherry Tree, too small of a town to feel such a way. Now, you have the intimidation of a rather large city to amplify your isolation.

Aside from the nightmare that was finding your first class and the man who made you late to it, your other classes went about as well as you could’ve hoped for. You’d still managed to get lost a fair amount, but on the brightside, you’d found the campus coffee shop so you had been able to stay there for a while this afternoon.

The man, who you can only refer to as Lennon given he so rudely refused to give you his first name, was also studying in the coffee shop today, much to your dismay. 

And the way he’d locked eyes with you for a brief moment before quickly looking away…

You were not sure why, but now, you can’t pry him from your ambulant mind. Something about him, aside from his insolent demeanor, is oddly enticing. He’s dark, almost mystifying. There are secrets in the air he breathes. Whether or not you want to know them, you can’t quite decide. Nonetheless, you’re intrigued.

Traffic finally begins to move at a steady pace, breaking your trance and causing your disoriented image of him to return to one filled with anger.  

Mystifying or not, he was an ass for absolutely no reason. You’ve made up your mind that you will never give him the time of day again. 

You pull into the parking lot of your apartment complex, your car sputtering its cry of exhaustion as you’ve put it to the ultimate test far too many times lately. 

“I need you to hang on just a little longer, old friend.” You say as you throw the gear shift in park. “Just a little longer, then we’ll lay your heaping metal bones to rest.” 

You trek up the stairs to your apartment, stopping at door 264. You smile as you look down to see “Don’t Knock Unless You Brought Wine” stitched on the doormat beneath your feet. Your mom insisted on it, and as ridiculous as you think it is, you’re grateful for the smile it’s brought to your tired face. 

You search through your disarranged canvas bag for your key, silently cursing the fact that it’s not in its designated spot.

Finally spotting the shining silver, you pull it out and twist it in the rusted bolt to open the door.

Your mom is sprawled out on the couch, her oxygen tank filling the quiet apartment with a subtle humming. The living room television is on some old sitcom she loves with the volume muted, as per usual for her.

You don’t want to wake her, as it’s imperative that she gets as much rest these days as she can. You keep as quiet as possible while heading to the kitchen to start dinner for the two of you.

You decide on something simple; bowtie pasta with alfredo and grilled chicken. 

Your mom always had a knack for all things culinary. Her skill remains unmatched, although it’s not as easy for her these days.

You sadly missed out on that trait from her. You’re lucky if you don’t burn the water. But, over the course of her illness becoming increasingly debilitating, you’ve taught yourself some easy and quick recipes to get by. 

You spoon a healthy amount of pasta on each of your plates, even garnishing them with a few basil leaves for a little aesthetic.

You pour yourself a much needed glass of merlot before taking your mom’s plate to her. 

You gently wake her by carefully nudging her hand. 

“Dinners ready, mom. I hope it’s okay.”

She slowly begins to stir awake, looking happy to see you as you sit next to her. “I’m sure it’ll be great. Thank you, sweetie.” You help her to sit up and get stabilized before handing her her plate. “How was your first day?” She tries not to wince as she takes her first bite. Her years of being a culinary expert have made her awfully picky when it comes to food, but she’s never once outwardly complained about your cooking. Although you can tell she’s less than impressed, she would never tell you that. She knows you’re trying your best and she’s so grateful for it, especially since your dad left.

“It was alright, I guess.” You take your first bite and instantly understand her initial aversion to it. Undercooked noodles and over cooked chicken. You’re glad it’s not the other way around this time.

“Just alright?” she asks.

You don’t have the heart to tell her how draining today truly was, so you just tell her that classes were a little stressful but that it really was a great day.

You switch the subject and talk about the beauty of the campus and how badly you wish she could see it. “Maybe someday,” she says.

You want nothing more than to get her out of this dingy apartment for a day and take her around, to show her the wonder of the city. It’s been incredibly difficult watching battle her illness. She seems to grow weaker with each passing day. Although she tries to conceal it from you, you know your mom, and you can see her deteriorate before your very eyes. It breaks your heart in a million pieces, but you still hold out  hope that she will get better someday. 

Hope is all you have.

Until then, you just try to enjoy each and every moment you share with her.

⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎

You’re situated outside of room 3182 nearly thirty minutes early this morning, drinking your steaming coffee and reading House of Leaves that was assigned to you yesterday in your Classic Horror course. 

The real inescapable horror, however, would be sitting next to him again, so you’re here early to avoid the unnecessary cruelty you faced the other day. 

Taking advantage of your extra time, you allow yourself to become immersed in the daunting novel. 

You read of a man on a slow descent to insanity, discovering a manuscript that details a home that transforms on the inside, yet stays the same on the outside.

Unlit hallways that continue for ages, doors appearing where they hadn’t been before. An architectural conundrum, this house.

The words in the book appear in strange prints, some pages with them upside down, placed in strange patterns; some pages with no words at all.

The word “House” is always in the color blue, even on the cover. 

The novel both fascinates you and terrifies you all at once, having read it twice before. You’ve yet to make your own interpretations on this book as they seem to change with each read. A bit of a mindfuck, as it were.

Just as you’re diving head first into the maddening depths of Danielewski's story, you hear keys jingling followed by the door to the classroom opening. 

You’d been so lost in your book you hadn’t even noticed that most of the students had joined you in the hall, waiting for class to begin.

You’re the first to head inside, much to Dr. Movack’s shock. You take your seat in the front row near the podium, the furthest one away from where you assume Lennon will sit.

The rest of the class piles in, taking their respective seats and gearing up for class. Here comes Lennon, clad in all black once again– sunglasses and all. He walks right past you, humoring you by ignoring your presence. 

Good. Keep walking. 

As more students pile in, you notice one mindlessly walking towards you before he abruptly stops and eyes you in your seat. You simply smile and nod as he stands there with a curious look about him. 

He slowly walks away, leaving you a bit puzzled but you choose to ignore it.

The hands on the antique brass wall clock strike 10:00 am, and you notice Dr. Movack is still out in the hall speaking with someone. Of whom, you can’t quite tell.

You and the rest of the class wait patiently, when finally Dr. Movack walks in, but he’s not alone. He’s with the student who glared strangely at you just moments ago. 

The student is standing near the professor, as if he has something to say, when Dr. Movack clears his throat and begins speaking. 

“I feel I needn't say this, but it’s clear some of you aren’t aware of how things are done around here, so I will say it this once so that we all understand. Once you choose your seat on the first day of class, that becomes your designated seat for the remainder of the semester. It is disruptive to your fellow classmates to decide to take the seat they specifically chose as their throne for learning.”

Your chest tightens and your face becomes flush with unease. 

You know instantly that he’s talking about you. 

“So, I will end this here: if you are not sitting in the spot you chose on the first day of class, I suggest you move to said spot immediately so we can get started with our business.”

Shit.

You’re utterly humiliated as you slowly stand up, you being the only one to stand up and making it abundantly clear to everyone in class that you were the cause of this.

You take your things and move to the spot you so desperately wanted to avoid, right next to Lennon who is covering his mouth with his hand, giggling at your shame.

The student standing by Dr. Movack takes his rightful seat as you take yours.

The class you had been most excited for this semester is quickly turning out to be the one you wished you had never signed up for.

You made a terrible impression on the first day by being late, and now on the second day of this class, you’ve broken an unspoken rule that you had no previous knowledge of. All of that topped off with the man sitting next to you who has made his distaste for you rather clear… the only thought tormenting your mind is how badly you wish you could crawl in a hole and never have to show your face in this class ever again.

“I have an important announcement,” declares Dr. Movack as he takes post behind his podium. “Through the entirety of this course, you will be working on a semester-long project relating to the appropriation of Arthurian legend. This project is fairly at your liberty, meaning there are very few stipulations for you to follow.”

Okay, this is something you can handle. Something to sink your teeth into, something you know you’ll excel at. 

“This will not be a solo project, however.”

Oh no.

“There are exactly fifty students in this class, so you will be paired in twos for a total of twenty five projects.”

Please no.

“As far as who you will be assigned with, that is very simple. The person seated next to you is who you will work with for the remainder of the semester.”

With Lennon being the very last seat in your row, and you being directly next to him, this means…he will  be your partner. For the entire semester. 

You were cursed from the first day you stepped foot in this room and had to sit next to him. Fate would have it so things would not work in your favor, it appears. 

“This project is not to be taken lightly as it is worth sixty percent of your final grade. Everything in this class will lead up to it, so I suggest you take your readings very seriously.”

He will ruin this for you, no fucking doubt. 

He won’t even give you the grace of telling you his first name, and now you have to work on a huge project with him for four months? A project worth more than half of your grade? 

That hole you debated on crawling in is sounding better and better by the minute.

“Well, guess that makes us partners.” To your disbelief, Lennon speaks his first words to you in lieu of his typical 'at you' approach. “The nice thing is that it guarantees me a good grade.” 

“Is that your way of admitting I know more about this than you do, Kiszka?” you snark. He cocks an eyebrow above his black lenses as you dare to utter his last name.  

“Not quite.” He snorts a condescending chuckle, “I can tell you’re the type to work towards the best grade possible, hence, ensuring my success in the process. Shall I thank you now or later?”

Lennon’s got you there.

You take projects like these rather seriously, and this one will be no exception. As much as you’d love to set him up for failure, that would warrant your failure right along with him. 

It’s the perfect scenario for him and a living nightmare for you.

Lovely.

⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎

You walk through the open doors of the lecture hall for your next class, spotting yet another familiar face amongst the students, only this one much more kind and welcoming. 

You recognize her as the kind soul who helped you the other day when your bag was senselessly knocked off your shoulder by your favorite Lennon impersonator. 

“Hey!” she says as she notices you, “Come sit next to me!”

You’re nearly taken away by her beauty as you sit beside her, finally able to get a better look at her this time.

Her glowing caramel skin, her eyes light and honest with a sepia tone, her dark brown curls that are unruly yet flawlessly styled, held perfectly on top of her head with the most beautiful satin scarf. 

“Thank you again for helping me the other day. You’re a saint for that.” You hang your book bag on the back of your chair, pulling out its contents for class. “You’ll never believe this, but that guy that slammed into me with no remorse, he’s in my class. The one that he made me so late for. And because of that, we’re partnered together for a semester-long project.” 

“Ah yes, Jake,” she says under a giggle, adjusting her dark green, slouchy sweater off her toned shoulder. “He’s something else, that’s for sure. He’s got a good heart but he covers it with that mysterious, dark facade that he thinks makes him look so cool.” 

Alas, Lennon does have a first name after all. Although, you prefer the nickname you’ve given him. 

“Well, Jake has made it rather clear that I am not his favorite person and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. I’m not sure how we’ll manage to make it through this semester together with his shitty attitude.”

She hums under her breath, slowly shaking her head as if to say ‘just you wait.’

“My name’s Natalia. Where’d you fly in from?”

The way her name rolls off her tongue with her slight accent is nothing short of beautiful.

“Just a miniscule town in Oklahoma. Is it really that obvious that I’m not from here?” you answer in a hushed tone, half embarrassed to admit such a thing.

She grins as she sings a few words from the title track from the beloved Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, showcasing her stark white teeth that compliment her glowing, tanned skin perfectly.

“I hate to tell you Ms. Oklahoma, but you do kind of stick out like a sore thumb,” she quips. 

Having gone from a small, southern town to the outskirts of Detroit, you’re bound to look like an outsider until the culture shock wears off, much to your discontent. 

As much as you wish you could quickly adapt and easily blend in, it’s just not possible. Your face twinges as you remember your first day, specifically that one class you’d care to not mention any further. 

“Welcome, students, to Women in Literature. My name is Dr. Lacey and I’ll be your instructor through the duration of this course.” 

Class begins and you both submerge yourself in a study that’s particularly important to each of you.

⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎

“I can’t call you Ms. Oklahoma forever, you know.” 

You and Natalia have the rest of the day free from classes, so you decided to walk with her to the Central Campus library to do some studying.

“I guess you’re right,” you say through a laugh. “My name is y/n.”

You walk across the large courtyard full of lush green grass, intricate steel benches and the most lovely hydrangeas colored a deep purple. 

The Michigan landscape is a far cry from anything you had ever seen in Oklahoma. Everything's so green and flourished, so full of life. Vibrant colors paint the scenery in the most beautiful vision. 

The weather is nearly perfect, with the temperatures never exceeding the mid seventies and the humidity far below the excruciating levels of the southern states. 

You’re in awe as you go day to day with the sheer beauty of the nature that surrounds you. 

Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, your curiosity begins to take over your every thought. Jake Kiszka. Your semester-long partner. You need to know more about him, as much as you attempt to relinquish the desire.

You finally build up the courage to ask. “So, how do you know him?”

She looks at you upon your inquiry, squinting her eyes as she studies your face. “Who, Jake?” She says with a sinister grin about her. 

“Yes, Jake. What is it about him that he feels the need to treat people like they’re beneath him?”

“Ah, Sir Jacob,” she says. “He’s a bit of an enigma, I guess you could say. And yes, he is single.” She throws you a wink as you stare at her with utter disgust at her wisecrack.

“I do not care if he’s single,” you respond, causing her to snort a chuckle. 

“I’ve known the guy for years. We go all the way back to the golden days of our youth. He and his twin brother graduated high school a year before me, and their younger brother was a year below me.” A twin? There’s two of him? “I’ve known their family for the better part of my life. Good people, truly. I can’t begin to tell you how much they’ve helped my family and me.”

You’ve only just met him, but the words ‘good’ and ‘Jake’ don’t seem to belong in the same sentence. 

“Incidentally enough, his twin, Josh, and my brother, Malachi, have been partners since they graduated together. So, they’re kind of my family, too.” You walk up the steps to the library as she holds the large wooden door open for you.“I promise you, y/n. He’s not all bad. You’ve just seen what he projects to people he doesn’t know. Like I said, he thinks it makes him look cool.”

Your thoughts momentarily stop as you take your first steps into the library. You’re in shock. Though, you shouldn’t be. Every single building you’ve stepped foot into on this campus is absolutely immaculate, and the library is no exception.

It’s almost bewitching, with thousands of books lining the walls, reaching chandeliers that seem to hang from the clouds at their height. 

The alluring musty scent of aged novels fill your senses and take you back to a time long since forgotten. 

It’ll be far too tempting to spend all of your time here, getting lost in the pages that fill the space of grandeur.

You’ve been stuck in a near trance by the beauty surrounding you, you hadn’t even noticed that Natalia moved behind the circulation desk.

“It’s also his way of keeping his guard up. It’s rare that anyone gets to discover the true Jacob,” she says as she types away at the computer sitting at the desk.

“Um, Natalia?” You quietly ask. “Should you be back there?”

She laughs as she takes in your slightly terrified expression, “Well I would say so, ya know, since it’s the start of my shift.”

“You work here?” How could anyone be so lucky as to work in such an immaculate setting?

“It’s a pretty sweet gig. It’s not the most thrilling job but it’s nice and quiet. I get to spend my days among books, and the tuition break is a pretty nice incentive.” She secures her gold plated magnetic name badge to sweater, making her look rather official.

A job on campus would be utter perfection for you. You’ll be spending a vast majority of your time here anyways, and the tuition break would be a significant help in your situation. 

“Do you happen to know of any other jobs on campus that are hiring?” you ask, almost embarrassed, but you have a feeling you can trust her. “I’m kind of in a pinch to find something soon. Desperate, actually.”

She rests her chin between her index finger and thumb, seeming to ponder your question. “I know of a few,” she says. “One that just so happens to be in this very library, if you’re interested.” Her voice carries an almost sarcastic tone, she knows you’re interested. 

“Oh my god, are you serious? I would love to work here!” you say.

“I figured you would.” She rummages through the credenza and pulls out a sheet of paper entitled ‘Employment Application’ and sets it on the desk in front of you. 

“Go ahead and fill this out, and I’ll consider putting in a good word for you.” She winks at you as she hands you a pen. 

⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎

Classes have become increasingly difficult. It’s nothing you can’t handle, but you find it hard to make time for much of anything outside of work and school. 

You started your new job at the library one week ago today. You pick up as many shifts as possible, mostly evenings and nights as your days are taken up with your classes. The library stays open until ten o’clock, so most nights you don’t get home until at least ten thirty. 

You set aside a little time after class everyday to run home and take care of your mom before work, making her dinner and being sure her nightly medications are set out before you head back to campus.

As busy as you are, you truly love your job and you’re immensely excited about your studies.

Your friendship with Natalia has bloomed beautifully over the last week. 

You’re so grateful for her. She has been your saving grace lately as this last week has been a bit treacherous. Her companionship has been a major help in your adjustment to this new way of life and your somewhat rigorous schedule.

Jake, on the other hand–well, things are about the same. You’ve set aside your pride a few times this week in an attempt to get along with him for the sake of your project, but he just brushed you off, every single time. 

This project is massive, and not having it started yet, or even having a single idea about what you’ll do with it, is giving you serious anxiety. 

The tension with him seems to grow by the day and you’re almost at the end of your rope with it. You don’t know how to fix it, but you need to figure out something soon so you can bury this unnecessary hatchet and focus on your shared assignment.

–

After running home to make dinner for your mom and tend to a few chores, you make it back to campus just in time to begin your shift.

Tonight, you’re in charge of contacting students with missing books and tacking on late fees to their accounts if necessary. 

You’re sitting at the computer, scrolling through the seemingly endless list of students and calling them to let them know of the fees they’ve accrued. 

Most of them are rather displeased with you upon your notice, some of them even giving you a small piece of their mind before abruptly hanging up on you. 

You make phone call after phone call, trekking through the list organized alphabetically by last name.

At last, you’ve made it to the end of the J’s. Your task for the evening was to make it halfway through the list, and you’re nearly there as you begin contacting students whose last names begin with K. 

Upon reading the name of the next student, your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach.

Kiszka, Jacob T (1): Le Morte d’Arthur (Norton Critical Edition) - Mallory

“You can’t be serious,” you mumble.

You debate on ‘accidentally’ skipping him, but you don’t want anything to jeopardize your brand new job.

You have to call him, and you’re not looking forward to it.

You suddenly hear the voice of your boss in the back of your mind, “It’s proper etiquette to always state your name when calling students, so be sure to introduce yourself with each call you make.” 

You quickly make up your mind that you will not mention your name during your call to him. The last thing you need is any more awkward air between you two.

You dial his number and wait, listening to the ominous ringing from the other end. 

Your eyes are pinched shut, your palms sticky with sweat as you secretly hope he doesn’t answer. 

Then, the ringing comes to a stop, “Hello?”

Shit. 

“Is this Jacob?” You use your best professional tone, hoping to disguise your voice as much as you can.

“This is he,” he responds, the statement ending in more of a question.

“Hi, Jacob. This is y/n with the Central Campus Library.”

Fuck.

You throw your head in your hand, mentally cursing yourself for letting your name slip through. Maybe he didn’t notice, you think to yourself.

There’s an uncomfortable silence for a moment before you clear your throat and continue speaking.

“I’m calling about your overdue copy of Le Morte d’Arthur.”

“Y/n? Aren’t you in my class?” he asks.

So much for him not noticing. 

Ignoring his question, you proceed “It looks like you checked it out over the summer and it’s now twenty eight days overdue. Per policy, there has been a fee of seven dollars and fifty cents added to your account. If it is not returned by the thirty one day mark, you will receive anoth-” 

He patronizingly cuts you off before you can finish, “You’re in Movack’s class, huh? You sit right next to me.” 

With a sigh of frustration, you finish telling him that he must return it within three days or he’ll receive a much heftier fee.

“Yeah, okay. We’ll see about that,” he says before hanging up on you. His short tone has infuriated you beyond belief.

“Asshole,” you exclaim as you slam the phone down on the receiver causing a booming echo to erupt throughout the building. Luckily, the only other person here with you is Natalia. She’s been in the back sorting books while you’ve been dealing with overdue rentals.

Her boisterous laughter adds to the echoing bouncing off the walls. “I heard that,” she yells.

⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎

You’re especially dreading Dr. Movacks class today after your phone call with Jake last night. You know for a fact that things will be even more tense with him today, and you’re just not in the mood to deal with it.

The exhaustion from everything piled on your plate has really begun to set in. Jake is the last thing you want to worry about. With each unpleasant interaction with him, your impatience grows to new levels.

With the support of your large cold brew in hand, you gather the nerve to walk into class. 

“So you work at the library, huh?” Jake says as you take your seat. 

“Yep,” you say in response. You pull out your phone and scroll mindlessly, giving him the hint that you’re less than interested in talking with him.

Class begins, and Dr. Movack starts his lecture on Arthurian timelines. You’re trying to pay close attention, but you find yourself becoming increasingly distracted– by Jake. 

He smells so good– a mix of sandalwood and vanilla. You’ve noticed it before, but for some reason it’s particularly exhilarating today. 

You chalk it up to delusion from fatigue and force yourself to pay attention to the lecture. 

But fuck if it isn’t hard has hell to ignore. 

You reach for your coffee, glancing Jake's way when you make yet another intrusive realization.

The way he grips his pen so tightly– the veins in his hand and forearm protrude in the most captivating way. 

Your eyes slowly follow a trail to his pecks, the curve of them seen just beneath his partially open, black—of course—button down. You watch them tense slightly with each word he writes. 

Dr. Movack ends the lecture and you suddenly realize you’ve been staring far too long.  

“Can I help you?”  

You’re instantly mortified at him catching your stare. Desperate to find any excuse, you happen to see his copy of Le Morte d’Arthur sitting underneath his notebook. Thank god. 

“Your book,” you point to the novel. “You need to return it.” 

He huffs a laugh as he takes his sunglasses off, leaving you stunned. This is the first time you’ve seen his face without their obstruction—and the first time you’ve ever seen his eyes. 

His eyes are kind and warm. They glow amber brown like a glass of whiskey on the rocks, intoxicating you just as the smooth drink would.

“I still have two days, right?”

You saw his lips move, but the sound that came from them was muffled in your head as you’re entirely mesmerized by his eyes.

“Right?” he asserts, breaking you from your trance.

You blink your eyes a few times to bring yourself back to earth as your brain registers what he had said.

“What? Y– yes, you still have two days,” you say. “You know it’s not a required reading until later on in the semester, right? Why do you need it right now?”

“Maybe I wanted to get a head start,” he says while tossing it in his black leather satchel. “Maybe it’s not any of your business.” He swiftly gets up and walks away, leaving you completely frustrated yet again. 

Your journey to your next class feels more like a rigorous trudge. You’re walking fast and hard, stomping your feet with each step as your anger towards Jake exudes through your body. 

Not only are you pissed at his stupid fucking attitude, you’re pissed that you find him so damn attractive. 

How could you possibly find someone like him appealing? Appealing to the eye, yes, but that’s where it stops. He’s a walking rain cloud hovering over you, stealing all the sunshine from your day in only a matter of a single class period. 

You’re impatiently counting the days until this class– until this project– is over and done with so you can move on and live a peaceful existence. 

⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎

It’s just about time to close the library and you could not be more ready. The last few days have been incredibly draining. With homework piling up in heaps, multiple tests to study for and working nearly every night, your stress is at an all time high. 

Thankfully, tomorrow is Saturday. This will be your first day off all week and you’re beyond ready for some much needed relaxation. You just need to get through these next five, excruciating minutes.

It’s been awfully quiet tonight and you’re grateful for it since you’re the only one working, but the lack of students has made the shift feel much longer than usual. 

You glance up at the clock that says it’s two minutes until ten. Given you haven’t seen any signs of a student in hours, you figure it would be okay to go ahead and lock up a few minutes early.

Just as you're about to twist the lock on the bolt, someone from the other end hastily turns the knob and pushes open the door with great force, causing you to stumble backwards.

Standing before you with their overdue book in hand, and to your utter disgust, is Jake. 

“We’re closed, Jake.”

He takes a few steps inside as he points behind you at the clock. “According to that, you’re still open for one more minute and I need to return my book.”

Of fucking course he waited until the literal last minute. 

You want nothing more than to turn him away and tell him he’s shit out of luck, but technically, he’s right. He’s entered the building before closing and according to policy, you have to serve him.

Son of a bitch. 

You bring your hand up to rub your forehead, trying to relieve some tension before you begin this process with him. “Follow me,” you say as you head back to the desk.

There’s an awkward silence lingering between you two as you sign into the computer, the only sound being his fingers tapping away at the desk as he impatiently waits for you.

“You could’ve just put it in the drop box outside, you know. They would’ve gotten it on Monday morning,” you tell him.

“Yeah, but then it would’ve been late. I’m not letting you all charge yet another absurd late fee,” he retorts.

“You should’ve turned it in on time, then.” 

You seem to have struck a nerve with him given the way his jaw clenched at your statement. You just can’t bring yourself to care– he’s the one forcing you to stay late when all you want to do is go home and go to bed. 

You go through the return process as quickly as you can. You finish, giving him his copy of the document that states he brought the book back. 

“Thanks,” he says. “Now I would like to check it back out, please.” 

Are you fucking kidding.

You know he’s doing this just to spite you.

You throw your hands down on the keyboard, “Seriously? Why can’t you just come back on Monday?” 

“Because I need it this weekend,” he claims.

“What could you possibly need it for?” Any semblance of patience you may have had left has officially walked out the door.

“Didn’t I tell you it was none of your business?” 

You take a deep breath and push it back out in a long sigh. You just don’t have it in you to argue anymore, so you accept defeat and begin checking it back out to him. 

You don’t say anything as you hand him a pen and the checkout slip for him to sign. He grabs the pen, looking at you with a slight guilt-ridden expression before giving his signature. 

“I’m working on a film with my brother, and I need the book to help him write the script.” This is the first time you’ve ever noted a hint of sincerity in his voice. The features of his face have softened– you can tell this is important to him. 

You flip delicately through the tattered and stained pages of the book. “I have my own copy of this out in my car,” you say. “I’ll just let you borrow mine. It’s in much better condition than this one, anyways.”

He agrees as you take the slip from under his fingers and crumple it, throwing it in the trash can under the desk. He waits a few minutes, letting you lock up. 

Then, he follows closely behind you to your car to retrieve the book.

You bend at the waist to dig for the book in the mess of your backseat. When you do so, you hear him take a deep inhale, and then blow it out in an exhale.

Is he annoyed with you having to dig? Because he can get the fuck over it. 

Just as you hear him clear his throat in impatience, you’ve found the book. You stand and hand him the book, annoyed with him and ready to leave. He thanks you, and you nod, bidding him a hasty ‘good night’… you’re just ready to get home. 

He begins to walk away, but stops and turns back around to face you.

Fuck. You’d been so close to being in the car, on your way home. Dammit.

“This film my brother’s doing,” he says. “Its focus surrounds the adultery of Arthur and Guinevere. He asked me to help him, and I was thinking…” You nod your head to let him know to keep going. “Well, if we both helped him, we could use it for our project.” 

Your interest is certainly piqued. “Yeah, that could work. I’ve written a few scripts and designed theoretical sets for a couple film electives before… so I could definitely do that.”

“He could use more help with all of that for sure, but what he really needs are actors, specifically ones to play Arthur and Guinevere. He’s been begging me to play Arthur and I agreed, but now he’s on my case about finding someone to play Guinevere and, well...” He gestures his arms towards you, signaling that he thinks you should play her. 

“Um…,” you take a minute to figure out how to politely turn him down as you feel a blush rise to your cheeks. You’d never admit it, but just the mere thought of interacting with him so intimately in those roles has your stomach doing weird flips. “Jake… I– I don’t know about that. I’m much better behind the camera, acting just isn’t really my thing.” 

“Just give it a try,” he insists. Why does he seem so adamant? Geez. “And if you hate it, you can do something else. But I think you’d be great at it, really.” He smiles at you, the first time you’ve seen a true, genuine smile from him.

Well, fuck.

You want to say no, you should say no. With how he’s treated you thus far, you don’t owe him anything. But– you can’t deny how it would help your project. And this project in Movack’s class… It's important to you. It would be fantastic to have it to back up your own project… 

And, aside from that, his smile is making it awfully hard to turn him down right now. 

If you were alone, you would have slapped your forehead at the utter chaos in your head, leading to your ultimate decision.

With a little hesitancy, you speak up, “I guess I could stop by. Feel out the role…”

His features seem to lift more at that. You pay it hardly any mind. 

And with his final reply, his velvet-toned voice has a brand new, excited, air to it. “It’ll be really amazing, I promise.” Then, he chuckles, almost to himself. “It’ll definitely be interesting,” he shakes his head, a grin still lifting his cheek. “But really… I think it’ll be great. I know my brother and you will get along. He’s also one hell of a director.” 

Minutes later, as you’re climbing into your driver's seat, you take a few minutes to sit in the silence of your car. 

Trying your damnedest to block out the obnoxious fluorescent lighting of the parking lot, you stare through your windshield into the black night sky. 

And when normally, the blanket of black would bring you a sense of peace and comfort, tonight it’s different. Tonight, you can’t help but feel a burgeoning sense of timidness as you fail to find answers to your new predicament in the night sky.

What in the hell had you just agreed to?

taglist:

@jakeyt @alwaysonthemend @sacredjake @jakesgrapejuice @misshunnybee @reesetrippingthelight @way-to-go-lad @iffypanic @sinarainbows @klarxtr @brinlygvf @stardustjake @gretavanbear @gvfmelbourne @sinsofstardust @literal-dead-leaf @livkiszka @gvf-ficreads @jaaakeeey @capturethechaos @neptune2324 @jaketlove @thetroublegetssoloud71 @myleftsock @sanguinebats @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface

a/n: let me know if you'd like to be tagged, or follow this link to be added. 🤍

love you all SO MUCH

Le Morte d’Arthur Masterlist

Masterlist

#jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka fanfiction #jake kiszka smut #greta van fleet fanfiction #gvf fic #jake fic #jake kiszka #le morte d’arthur

[misinterpreted-alphabet-soup]

I am so pleased to finally reveal another commission of my favorite OC, Krell, my Domain of Death Cleric!

This time I had the pleasure of working with none other than Tumblr's own Lunara Shitposter and Sovereign of the Scrunkly Face: @basketobread !

more gushing under the break

I cannot articulate how excited I am at this piece. BoB's ability to capture emotion through body language and expression have truly brought this character to life and I am so excited to show him off to everyone I know now.

I also want to HIGHLY recommend anyone looking for similar art of their characters to consider working with @basketobread when they are ready to open up commissions again. They have been an absolute treasure to work with. Highly considerate and receptive to requests and with a sincere interest in the characters they are bringing into the visual world, I thoroughly enjoyed the entire process of working together to see this project done. I am definitely planning on hiring them again in the future for more projects and I recommend anyone viewing this post to consider the same. I, for one, would love to see their art continue to grow and progress even further.

So again BoB, I can't thank you enough for working on my tricksy little death boi, and I can't wait till I have the chance to see who else you can bring to life in the future.

P.S. if anyone gets curious about this guy, please send me a million asks. I can talk about him all day!

#d&d #digital art #dnd #basketobread #d&d character #d&d oc #dnd character #d&d art #oc comission #oc artwork #artists on tumblr #oc art

[thefaiao]

What are your inspirations for drawing? Like other artists or things

I'll start with my biggest inspiration, which got me into art as a whole: Adam Adamowicz. I got introduced to him through Skyrim concept art, but I honestly think his Shivering Isles concepts are some of the best concept art out there. You can see how much he just takes an idea and completely sores with it. A torrential stream of beautiful sketchy goodness.

I love Oblivion's flat ass dough faces and early Xbox 360 charm, but this shit is simply crazy. Look at this, it makes you wish to dedicate your life to bringing this to life, as all good concept art should. It inspires more of itself.

I could post all the images there are out there, because I sincerely think this is the type of work that has stuck with me the most. It's something to strive for. You can see it for yourself instead. That was what got me started. After that, and through my journey on Tumblr and Twitter, I think what stuck to me the most was the art done by small artists, my "compatriots". The things you don't see. There is so much love in little things, and maybe in another universe there are entire cultures dedicated to them. I wish we had time to explore each and every one of the smallest pieces of media, especially narrative media, weird media.

I'll concede that it's a bit of an abstract thing to be inspired by, but once you realise how much work goes into the smallest of things, I believe you'll find inspiration anywhere you go. I think the reason why my Batter drawings are the way they are is my inspiration from just the design of letters and fonts in general. I think making something that blurs the line of symbol and representation over and over is fun.

One artist that has stuck with me is the late great Gunner Leatherwood. He passed away earlier this year. I watched this guy grow from a hundred followers to thousands. I saw his art improve. I think that inspiration transcends just the visual aspect of the art. It's a story, a lived experience, as all art is, but I felt I understood it much more. I think going after and following these small artists pay off because of this. Everyone can make something truly great, and some people have and no one noticed. Many amazing animated movies have been made, but never got to the people who would understand them, who'd have dedicated themselves to easing other people into it. We like to think we understand media in a completely intuitive, isolated fashion, but it's not true at all. Our shared experience contributes to classics being recognised and loved. Sometimes you need the right person at the right time to understand. Gunner was a great artist because of how intuitive and visceral his drawings were. It was like he was drawing from his entire life experience to express himself in a page. At first he had little control of it, but with time it was molded and polished so that the madness was discernable, but not gone from the drawing. His mindset for drawing was fun, and he too was always going after small artists of all kinds.

But going back to Batter drawings and abstraction, an artist that has also inspired me over the years in that aspect of bluring symbol and representation into one solid thing, and similarly started somewhat small like Gunner, is Matt Lesniewski. His hatching is out of this world, and his character design is evocative and never boring. The characters are huge balls of symbols made into physical objects. Recently he straight-up draws the belts of characters floating. It's wonderful.

Another artist that does this bluring very well, and is very inspiring, is nailgun waowao. They really, well, nail the appeal of making images that have all the defining elements of a certain scene or character, but open closer look they are fragmented and completely abstracted. It's like a bigger image overlayed with many smaller stories and symbols.

But to go back to talking about active inspirations that came before, and got to me to where I am at the moment, it's a bit harder. I can't really make it sound smart besides going "uuh I don't know like abstract stuff, cubism idk lol." Just try to appreciate the great things your friends make, and try and work together to make something even greater.

Some of the most improvement I had in art was from learning with friends. Art ultimately is a form of communication, understanding other people and yourself will make you better at it. Technical skill is fun and speaks for itself, but your experiences will reach much deeper. In a world where we can't even begin to compreehend the powers that be, loving and understanding what is close is probably gonna make your life and art much better.

#long

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

My go to plan as soon as I get totk:

Get through the tutorial area (probably in the sky then need to get back on to the surface)

Go to hateno. See if the zelink living in the hateno house together fanfics were real.

Check out something specific relating to the art book leak. (Not describing or sharing the leak so don't worry about spoilers from me! :)

Find a horse that at least looks like the one I had in breath of the wild, my beloved baby boy Romeo who can do and hasn't done nothing wrong ever in the entire 6 years of his life (he kicked me off a cliff four separate times):

Go to Gerudo desert because out of all regions it's the one I'm the most interested in seeing the state of post Ganondorf resurrection(?) murderous pissy fit.

I'm going to build me a big fuck off Zonai tractor.

Zelda. I need to know if she's alright, I would like to find out this earlier on but that's probably going to be found out through story and I really do want to take my time with it.

I need to see what the hell is happening with this korok with a backpack:

Speaking of the koroks, uhm... korok forest is gone. I definitely want to check that out. (Sorry this picture so so fucking blurry with how it's zoomed in but the forests gone)

I need to find out if I can glue two Royal claymores together (or an equivalent) to make a big fuck off abomination claymore that does double claymore damage that looks like this:

Go back to eventide. I wonder if they added something there. It seems like something thats a no brainer to do.

Check out what the fuck is going on with the labyrinths I can't find the screenshots now but I remember seeing some of them floating with the sky islands at some point.

If if I can find a sky island resembling at least a little bit of skyloft. I feel it in my bones that Nintendo would pull that type of shit. Or not because this is also Nintendo.

Documenting literally every even hint of a zelink moment in the entire game so I can make several posts gushing over it in the future.

Take lots of screenshots! I actually played breath of the wild on wii u and never on switch so of course I never really had that screenshot or recording capability so I finally can really go all out in this game.

The dragon that is 10000% a fucking Gleeok on the bridge of Hylia I've already determined is going to be the first overworld boss I fight. 🙂 I can't wait to fight it with only five or so hearts 🙂

Amd finally since amiibo support is confirmed and costumes are too - the artbook actually confirmed it but I don't really think that's a spoiler because it's a very obvious mechanic to bring back than just having them be used once only for the paraglider skins you get that was officially confirmed here below so I can't wait to get my ocarina of time and twilight princess gear back that I can wear for the whole game!

Over all I just really want to have fun in this game and really it looks like it's going to deliver. I can't wait to sink hundreds if not thousands of hours into and I REALLY REALLY hope it can at least fix a lot of it's predecessors issues, especially with how it executes it's story. I keep saying it, breath of the wild *had* the potential to be one of the best zelda stories ever but it was done so extremely poorly trying to tell it, majority of it is just ruined. I sincerely hope Nintendo has learned their lesson from that and actually let the Link/you the player actually play throughand experience the games narrative instead of just... having it exposition dumped onto you over and over in flashback cutscenes as stuff that's already happened and can't be changed. I went having this game with very low confidence it was first revealed in 2019, but the more and more I keep seeing it now the higher my optimism gets and I actually genuinely hope this game is really good.

I'm actually wishing the best for it and desperately hope it doesn't disappoint. We've all waited so long, and now we have only a little bit more to go.

#the legend of zelda #the legend of zelda tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom #zelink #moosh gives his dumb opinions #moosh's shitty edits #moosh's screenshots #non request related

[cleverclovers]

I'm Parker, Shady, Clover, Teej, whatever you wish to call me. I'm a queer disabled artist on social security because stress makes my brain shut down like a computer trying to run windows 7 in this day and age--I have a seizure disorder previously thought to be epilepsy but currently under evaluation for another seizure disorder diagnosis, I'm autistic, I have hearing loss and mobility difficulties due to nerve connection issues relating to previously stated seizure disorder being untreated for most of my life.

I'm without a roommate, in an apartment I can barely afford, with no options to move to a cheaper place, and no way I can negotiate a lower rate. I previously had a roommate, this an easier time with life, only occasionally struggling, or wanting to reach beyond my means for a little comfort.

My entire check goes into rent and bills, it's not a big check by any means, the govt doesn't really want disabled people to live on their own, it seems like, and I wind up relying on what's left of my patreon after bills to try to make ends meet. Those ends include my three cats. One is elderly, the other two are comparatively very young. I cannot afford them right now, but rehoming or surrendering them is not an option. I know someone will come into my dm's or ask box and say that to me, so let me get this out of the way: the only way I can manage to get up every morning and find it in myself to work on art is those three cats.

As such, I'm willing to pick up as many commissions, over load myself with obligations, to make those boys lives as comfortable as possible. Right now I need to buy dry food, litter, and a new litterbox because one of the ones I have currently is difficult to clean and change. I also need help with people food, because I have medical dietary restrictions, and that's not cheap. I'm out of food stamps for the month and don't get more until the 8th. I can't just go to a food bank for that. I will continue to need assistance with their care until I can manage to get a housing voucher for section 8. That can take months.

My art rates are ridiculously low, my turn around rate without deadlines is less than stellar, I'm doing my best to keep my patreon up to date with my personal pieces, done to keep myself from hating my commission pieces and starting over on them all. However, if you have a specific deadline you need to meet, say Valentine's, or a special occasion, please let me know ahead of time. I do keep in touch throughout the process, sharing wips of the piece in the works so my clients can tell me if I need to make changes.

As for prices, right now:

10 usd for sketches (commission for LivingRadio used with permission)

20 USD for inks

50 usd for simple colors

90 for full color with a background (commission done for Ocarinaruler used with permission)

I take pa yp al ([email protected]) , v3nmo or ca$happ (Rosesinclover) and have pa tr eon and ko-fi (also Rosesinclover) if you want to help long term and see the projects that almost never reach fruition, though I use ko-fi the least

These are the boys who help me live my life and cut down on my seizures. The orange one is Jerry (one and a half years old), the tuxedo is Loki (a nickname, his true name is very long. He's 7) and the brown tabby is Bean (17, a good sleepy boy in early renal failure--his kidneys are starting to go. There's nothing I can do about it that won't cost hundreds, so I'm just making sure he's comfortable until it's time)

This is my cat specific Amazon wishlist

Thank you for your time and consideration. I'd appreciate reblogs to increase the reach, and will consider price increases if enough people request it.

Sincerely, a very stressed out pet parent

Change log: put an updated full color image reference, noted which pieces were commissions and for whom they were done. Added kitty wishlist. Feb 16, 2024 Lowered simple color and colored pryces. Mar 10, 2024

#commissions #teej loves his cats #teej art

[auxiliarydetective]

End-of-Year Appreciation Post

Let's see if I can get this done before midnight - I have 36 minutes! But I really wanted to get this posted, so... time for a speedrun! This post won't nearly be able to say everything I wanna say, so, first and foremost: I love and appreciate all of my mutuals and people I've gotten to talk to this year, so thanks for coming to my corner of the internet and gifting me a little (or a lot - because lord knows I don't shut up if someone mentions one of my favourite fandoms) of your time!

With that being said, time for some special thanks!

@wheresmybloodynauglamir The encyclopedia of Star Trek and one of my closest friends on this hellsite. Thanks so much for literally everything you've done for me this year and all the lovely conversations. Let's have a lot more of those next year! Live long and prosper <3

@littlemervie Thank you for indulging my very nichest of niche interests like The Little Prince and for always sending me a kind message when I least expected it.

@fluffle-system My favourite bnuy in the whole world and a fellow FNAF enjoyer. I hope I always get to be the auxiliary to your detective (yes, this is actually sort of an accurate aitiology of how my url came to be - if you know you know). Let's solve more mysteries and riddles together.

@supermarine-silvally You may have only very recently stumbled into my corner of the internet but I adore every conversation we've had and I hope that many more are to come. If I had to make a choice to pass on my OCs to anyone, the great Donna Aurelia would be yours, and that's a great honor, so I hope you know how much I appreciate our conversations!

@carriagelamp We didn't talk too much this year and that's frankly a crime, but I still stare lovingly at every piece of art you've created for me, with me, or simply for the fandoms I'm in - and the ones for fandoms I don't know I stare at from afar. Just letting you know that I smile everytime I see you on my dash :)

@faerieroyal Dolly my beloved! I hereby sincerely apologize for all the times I've hopped into our Discord chat to ramble about my OCs or whine about my hour-long adventures of looking for faceclaims and/or names, but I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon. The amount of positivity and support you bring into my life is immesurable and I absolutely adore you for supporting each of my OCs, even if you don't know their fandom, and how you let me introduce you to my newest hyperfixations when the brainrot strikes. - To many more rambling sessions!

@come-along-pond who allowed me to participate in the fyeahonepieceocs blog and gave me a platform to launch my own little project of a OP resources blog from. - Through anon hate and plot bunnies, you've helped me and supported me through so much and I'm really, really thankful for that!

@oneirataxia-girl @endless-oc-creations and everyone else in the Discord Server, thank you so much for suffering through my countless pings and appearing when I need you most to offer your advice and help. You've saved many of my OCs in the past and I'm certain you'll keep doing so in the future.

@starcrossedjedis @bravelittleflower and @ninjasawakenedmystar aka the angels who made Cora's creation possible - and by extention then also that of Lily and La Donna! Thanks so much, my fellow One Piece girlies!

@thehedgehogat221b who has been keeping me tethered to the A-Team fandom, making sure that I never forget how happy it makes me, and who always has time to spare to hear me ramble about Kit Kelley and her conman boyfriend

@daughterofhecata @bistdueinbaum and the entire Die Drei ??? fandom. You brought me onto Tumblr and though I may not be as active in the fandom anymore, Tumblr still considers my blog a Die Drei ??? blog and I don't plan on forgetting my roots anytime soon, so I promise you more detective content in the year 2024 - featuring my beloved Jelena, of course! My token adopted side character... Maybe I'll also hop into the Tatort fandom, who knows? Also, can we make Rosenheim Cops a fandom? I feel kinda lonely and silly over here lol

@claramurphyqueenoffandoms the VoicePlay supporter. Man, was I happy to find someone who loves these dorks as much as I do. We haven't talked much, but thanks so much for enabling the hyperfixation that triggered my character development into a happier person and letting me relive those memories.

@cody-helix02 @thoughpoppiesblow @footprintsinthesxnd @kafka-ohdear and the entire Band of Brothers fandom. You've been so nice to me from day one when I first stumbled into the fandom and you still are incredibly lovely people! I'd like to give something back, so, if you ever need any research done for your fic and you can't find anything, let me know and I'll traverse my resources and my university's library to see what I can find <3 Also, I shall present to you more Anita content in the future! There's one fic featuring Luz and one featuring Bull curently in my projects list!

@maxwellshimbo @asaturnerofficial and all the other lurkers and people I constantly find in my notes - you always brighten my day. I'll have had an awful no good time but then I see you and I go: "Ah yes, my friends are still here" and I feel so much better!

Thanks to much to everyone on and off the list, and have a very lovely new year!

#end of year appreciation #thanks so much everyone <3

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Ask about Gotham (2014-2019): Was it worth it?

listen man I'm gonna be so real with you right now: I thought it would be really funny to write, like, a huge academic essay responding to this as a joke and then the punchline would be at the end I just say something like "in conclusion the producers of Gotham owe me money and can gargle my balls." and I do have a draft of that right now which, for the record, is 2600 words long and cites Susan Sontag's "Notes on Camp" pretty extensively as well as Glen Weldon's very neat book The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture. which IS funny, but I'm also not going to get around to finishing it for a while so here's a short answer

it's worth it for the sense of accomplishment, I guess, in the same way that you get to feel satisfied about being done with any grueling and unpleasant thing that's entirely self-inflicted. this is how marathon runners feel, probably, when they're gasping on the ground drenched in sweat with their lungs on fire and legs aching to be cut off.

but in the sense of whether or not Gotham was, like, worth it as a piece of art, I can't say it really was. as a prequel Gotham is grossly bloated and overlong; as a standalone story it's meandering and utterly lacking any original point of view to justify its existence as the 9000th Batman adaptation. things just happen in Gotham and all of it feels hollow because we the audience know how this is going to end; nothing good or bad will actually meaningfully change the status quo of Gotham City as we are seeing it because Gotham City needs to remain in stasis until Batman is old enough to legally buy a beer. it's just exhaustingly nihilistic, nothing matters because nothing is ALLOWED to matter yet and by the end that inherent meaninglessness makes the show an exhausting hollow shell of itself that sucks the life right out of you.

you can't even really call it camp because camp relies so much on sincerity, and by the latter seasons you can TELL the writers have given up and embraced being the silly goof goof weirdo show on purpose and are throwing everything they've got at it. riverdale before it was riverdale. genuinely I think the third episode of season one where the villain of the week is a man killing people by tying them to weather balloons and everyone takes it DEADLY SERIOUSLY is more high camp than anything that happens in the entire fifth season where all of the long-suffering actors are winking cheekily at the camera from beneath their party city wigs.

#gotham time

[scyllas-revenge]

Hi there! Just wanted to reach out as I'm going to start my annual re-read of BLCI and thank you for this work of art (no joke here) you have put out into the world :)

Know its been a while since the last chapter and completely understand that life can get in the way but I sincerely sincerely wish you do have plans to continue it :) If you have any Beeromir (?? not sure if there is a ship name? Can't figure out how to do the squared symbol on my laptop for B squared...) tidbits that you are willing to share I would be forever grateful.

Thank you again!! :)

ANNUAL REREAD??

I'm trying- and failing- to find the right words to express how much this means to me. Thank you so much!! I am hugging this ask to my heart (or I would if I wasn't scared I'd break my laptop). And thank you for not giving up on me- I never meant to go on a hiatus at all, although I did realize that there were still some plot points I needed to iron out before I could move forward with the fic. And then yeah life got in the way. Still, things are looking up- I turned 30, found a therapist, am taking ADHD meds, got an inhaler, traveled solo overseas for the first time, saw the northern lights- I am unstoppable!! XD

ANYWAY! I am very much still working on this fic, and I have a good chunk of the next chapters done. I don't trust myself to give a specific date lol, but it'll be updated again, I promise!

I'm pretty sure at some point I shared the first few paragraphs of the next chapter on tumblr in another ask, but I'll post the beginning of the chapter here as proof that progress is underway and as a thank you for such a wonderful ask! Feel free to reach out any time to chat about fanfics or fandom stuff in general <3

Chapter 33 snippet:

Damn it, the AC is out again.

That was my first disoriented thought as I woke up, overheated and uncomfortably flushed. I tried to wipe the perspiration from my forehead, but my right arm was trapped at my side, numbness buzzing down my fingers. Huh? Sluggishly, my eyes creaked open—and all at once my heartbeat accelerated so fast the cabin seemed to spin.

Boromir’s chest was pressed against my face. The warmth of his skin nearly burned through his rumpled undershirt, and the weight of his torso was squashing my nose into a pancake. He must have rolled over in his sleep, because he was nearly sprawled out on top of me now, his chest and shoulder pinning the right half of my body to the mattress, one of his legs thrown over mine from inside his crumpled bedroll. He was snoring softly.

Oh. A giddy, guilty laugh bubbled up in my chest, and I smiled against his skin. How had I thought this was uncomfortable? I could have stayed here forever, Boromir’s body draped over me like a weighted blanket, his slow exhales ruffling my hair. 

But beyond the bulk of his torso and our tangled mess of blankets, a weak ray of sunlight had filtered into the cabin through the crooked shutters hanging over the window. It was morning. 

Arm’s length, I’d promised myself. Keep him at arm’s length, starting tomorrow. And now tomorrow was here.

My heart sinking, I poked at his side with my free hand. “Boromir? Hey—Boromir? You have to wake up.”

“Y’r voice…” His voice was thick with sleep, slurred and low, and his right hand slid blindly along my bedroll to splay possessively against my hip. “Mmm, Valar, say m’ name again…”

Heat of an entirely different kind flooded my limbs, and I shoved at his chest in a near panic. “Boromir, wake up!”

“Eh?” Boromir staggered to his feet so quickly I thought the bed frame might break under us. “Beatrice!” He was breathing hard as he turned to face me, dashing a hand through his hair. 

I stared up at him, unable to move, trying and failing to look as though I wasn’t about to burst into flames. “Good morning,” I croaked.

#answered! #burn like cold iron #lotr fanfic #boromir x oc #i have the nicest mutuals i want to cry

[sincerely-sofie]

All of your art and ideas are incredible to read and look at, but I can't help but gravitate immediately to thoughts related to the Dugtrio Day AU and how much worse it could be to have Pinna experiencing it instead.

The weird, cruel joke that suddenly, after everything she's done with Echo, Pinna wakes up as if it were the day she met Echo. What's worse than having something explained to you when you already know it, so much.

What if you had to be the one to explain it? Sure, maybe you could shorten or cut out irrelevant parts, but what if doing so leads to even more lost potential time. Time that you do desperately don't want to be losing. Seeing things that you grew up around becoming more inescapably deterministic. Having to face the concept of understanding your own life so much that you can never look at it the same way even if you escaped the cycle of it. Seeing the effects of the loop on your friends in ways that only you and someone you once thought had your back.

Eventually you hit a point where explaining while not doing something would be completely out of the question. Realizing that someone that you cared for so much, while caring for you just as much, being the only majorly changing variable both in the best and worst ways. Others starting to get hints of memories from the potential future but never enough to deviate in a way that matters, let alone help.

The potential expression of betrayal by your own best friend and possibly the guild when you decide to do something wildly different. Trying to not engage in certain fights since you have almost the same goal, despite no one else being aware. Would you even be able to hide your feelings, having to repeat everything again and again when others' sacrifices and efforts keep going to waste in the end, especially when others start to interfere to make it "interesting" and "different"? Not just hollow, but crushing watching the efforts of your friend and teammate repeatedly wasted, treated as meer entertainment for Mythicals and Legends. Realizing that you have to guide someone so unaware of what's truly happening, someone that matters so much to you at this point, through this hollow performance as if you aren't looking for a solution with the only windows of time you aren't near the only thing that makes you feel as close to sane as possible.

Sincerely, both a fan, and someone with way too many thoughts about things like this.

Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m reading this with my head in my hands. Oh my word.

A fun factoid: Pinna is aware of the loop eventually. At least to an extent. It’s many loops in before her memories from past loops start to carry over, but eventually she regains echoes of her memories up to the first iteration of the timeline before it ever looped. And once everything dawns on her fully, she's terrified of the change that's taken place in her best friend. Echo is bitter and angry, and above all else scared, and she's been almost entirely alone while trying to figure out how to break out of this nightmarish scenario.

Pinna starts making her own efforts to save Echo from the loop--- and she never really stops to consider that she'd be saving herself as well, because Echo is the only thing that matters to her at that point. Unfortunately, they can't see eye-to-eye on a way to break the loop, and Echo is constantly restarting the loop by defeating Dialga in an effort to perform the actions that led to the loop "correctly". This means Pinna's efforts to research a resolution to the loop are often sabotaged by Echo's own efforts. She's frustrated by this, but it just renews her conviction with every loop.

She's going to save Echo, even if it's the last thing she does. And at the rate that the loops are going, chipping away at her very being, it very well might be.

#dugtrio day au #pmd ocs #pmd oc #pokemon mystery dungeon #pokémon mystery dungeon #pmd explorers #pmd sky #pmd eos #pmd2 #pmd #sofie answers asks

[jemmo]

i cannot even begin to describe how much i just sobbed like a baby. like I think I was crying for the entire ep start to finish. It was just perfect, and ends a series that no word of a lie was absolute and sheer perfection start to finish. they seriously just did something special, like incredibly, unbelievably special. every step, every plot point, every story beat, every character, every relationship, ever song, every outfit, every shot, every choice and performance and inch of it was just perfection. i literally don’t know how else to describe it. it’s sweet and heartfelt and sincere and meaningful and fun and sentimental and kind and so full of care and passion and talent and love, i could try and put it into more coherent words but at the end of the day it is just a show so perfect bc at its core is so much heart. and it just goes to show that silly little high school romcoms, the simple, unassuming, uncomplicated, age old story, when done with care and attention and respect and sincerity can truly be one of the most moving pieces of media. it’s teenage coming of age at it’s absolute finest, and it’s comfort for outsiders and dreamers and for the teenage you that wanted this high school experience, wanted to chase your dreams and participate in clubs and mess about with friends and fall in love for the first time. that’s what this show captures down to a T and turns into a piece of art. it’s the fairytale we all want brought to life and made real and grounded with emotions we’ve all known and felt. I just can’t explain how special this show is, and how much I will keep it with me like an old blanket I’ve had since I was a child, to hold and give me comfort when I need it, to remind me of simple and happy days, and of the love I’ve gave and been given back. this show is the shirt I have with written messages from school, it’s the albums I listened to as a teenager, it’s pictures of me with my friends at graduation, it’s the universal experience of growing up and finding love and happiness and moving forward, holding onto those memories you created. and I just can’t explain how grateful I am for that.

my school president, the show you are. thank you for everything.

#the bitch got sentimental but that last episode was too stunning to not ball and be gushy and emo and gross #I just love it with all my heart #and will miss it more than anything #my school president

[fatyaoi]

your art has literally changed my perception of my body, like it made me realize its hot as fuck to be fat. anyway may i request how you imagine postal 1 dude if he took care of himself and gained some weight from it

um . i spent like a full week trying to figure out how i wanted to respond to this because it is genuinely i think the most touching thing a stranger has ever said to me. i couldn't quite say what i wanted to so i'm just going to say what i can. putting it under the cut cause its a little long and wordy but um. i don’t think you had any idea this would be the case but your message was so so profound and special to me. i am wishing you so well sincerely with my whole heart and i am so grateful to hear that and to be a part of whatever journey you are on. please continue being loving toward your wonderful body and i hope you enjoy the dude <333333

i’ve literally spent my entire life capital f Fat. i can’t think of a time i wasn’t the literal fattest person in any given room. the only way i was personally able to heal from a lifetime of mistreatment was through kink. i have always been deeply and exclusively attracted to fat men, and drawn to other fat people in general- but my own relationship with my body was impossible to fully mend without rediscovering myself through the eroticism of fat. even in my worst moments of self doubt, there is no hatred and i would not change this aspect of my body for anything.

the objective fact is that the fat body is a beautiful, desirable, sensual, and natural state of being. in fact i think it’s one of the best things you can be :^) just about everything i do is dedicated to the love of, and healing through the love of fat. its the reason i draw what i draw. i mean yes its insanely hot when a guy gets too fat for his button up but my experience of pain and heartbreak and euphoria and Love goes into Everything i do. so the idea that the minuscule amount of time i have really been vocal or open has done anyone any sort of good like. i am literally so grateful. i am overwhelmed and so happy and so grateful.

um that was a lot but its been like. swirling around in my head for a hot minute now. again, i think this is probably the most touching thing a stranger has ever said to me. anon im assuming youll see this at least i’m praying you will, but i am sending you so so so much love i’m literally squeezing my eyes shut and focusing so hard on blasting you with big pink hearts ok? please know you are so right and so hot always. showing yourself the love and kindness you deserve is one of the hardest things you can do and i am So proud of you. i am rooting for you. in fact i am rooting for everyone who might be reading this. please know in your hardest most painful moments that i am rooting for you and that i believe in you.

any remember everypony-

#that was a lot. um. heehee <3

[digimon-fr]

Cancelling DMFR: Reasons and What Now...

TLDR: I’m extremely burnt out with this story due to my own hubris, and would like to close this chapter of my life. Read below for more details. Hello everyone...

I apologize for leaving you all in the dark for so long. This was a bandage I was extremely reluctant to rip off because of the love people had for this little fan project. But it’s something I must address all the same. You’ve probably noticed that updates to DMFR have gradually petered out over time and have basically come to a complete stop. This is because as time went on, I started to fall out of love with Digimon, the fandom, and consequentially, this big-little story I’ve had knocking around in my brain since 2008 (ie. Since I was a young teenager). While my relationship with the Digimon franchise is starting to gradually be repaired with the love being put into the new Ghost Game anime, the beautifully nostalgic art in the new card game, and the immense fun that is the Vital Bracelet series, I do find my self struggling to come back to the fandom, and more importantly this story.

I have changed so much since I first started posting this story in 2014, and even more so since thinking about it in 2008. There is still plenty to love about it, but also a lot I’d probably would have done very differently. My ability to pace myself and plan out a story of multiple character arcs has improved so much, and my past self did not do a very good job of laying down the tracks for my future self. I should have made chapter outlines, I should have given myself a schedule instead of posting when ever, I should have given myself breaks when I needed them. But I didn’t and the immense pressure from the standards I set for myself began to weigh so much that any spark I had left was entirely snuffed out. All this is to say that I am very burnt out with this story. I’m no longer excited to work on it, I’m kicking myself for making it so difficult to work on in the first place, and my drive to finish it is gone because of how poorly I handled it for myself.

I hope that writing this out, anyone else who is hoping to make a grand epic series can learn from my mistakes. Inspiration is POWERFUL in making art, but a massive piece of art like this can not live off of inspiration alone. You need to pace yourself and take care of yourself so you don’t come to dislike what you are making in time. Because it’s never fun to fall out of love with something that used to bring you so much joy, and I would never wish that on anyone.

So now what?

I am going to try and take better care of myself, and continue to pursue passion projects that still bring me joy. You are welcome to join me, but I also completely understand if you do not want to. Regardless, thank you for all your support in the past, please take care of yourself, and may your spirit stay strong.

Sincerely, AK-Illustrate

#story #tagging so people know what happened #thank you for you're understanding

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little asks compilation as to not spam ♥

thank you!! ♥

crying this is vaguely related but did you guys know neji appears in a time travel episode(/arc?) in the boruto anime. does it surprise you to hear that it makes me extremely mad

but also so true LMFAO i'm usually the type to give things a chance (or so i'd like to believe) but not much of boruto interests me 😔 some of the kids look cute and i like.... like..... a few of the timeskip designs (...like three of them? i like suigetsu karin and tenten's.) but it's not worth it and in fact i think having to see neji and hiashi alive in the same UwU Family space would have had me banging my head against a wall.

also what if they made him ugly. that's my perfect angel boy they can't do that.

HEHE ofc!!! part of the reason i love posting fanart is that i get to spread propaganda for the things i like LMFAO

and i'm glad people enjoy the funny sharky ears they're my favorite <3

ASDMKASD eu acho que esse é o maior contato com outros brasileiros que já tive quando posto arte e afins, é bem interessante

eu consigo imaginar o tipo de coisa da qual vc reclama, eu acho bem chato tbm GFKMGFM

fave i respect the movement though i'm more of a short king gaara truther myself bc i think it's cute. sasuke still the tallest of the boys tho

thank you!! and hehee this ended up being more me ranting about their general writing but :)

i'm veeeery fond of their og naruto dynamic, i think it often goes misunderstood/understated but to me it's one of the highlights to the original series! from stuff like kakashi shielding him from orochimaru and sealing his curse mark (which. btw. crazy. LOVE that scene) to the ENTIRE deal with chidori and the pride kakashi felt watching sasuke fight gaara with it... i think it's SURPRISINGLY well done! while i due to personal preference like to read it as specifically familial, i think you can read it anyway you want (not all mentor-type dynamics need to be familial in nature and not being so won't make it any less meaningful)

i don't think kakashi was a particularly great teacher (in fact i think tenzo is shown to be a MUCH better captain/mentor the moment he's introduced to team 7 lol) but you can certainly tell that he cares about all of the kids and wants to do right by them, it's just that with sasuke specifically to me it feels like it's of highly personal significance to him?

and it's not hard to see why, obviously kakashi and sasuke do not have the same trauma but i find it reductive to say that it means kakashi can't see himself in him at all, or that he can't be of any use to sasuke? one of my favorite scenes is the (... i think mildly controversial, from what i've seen?) one where he talks to sasuke on that tree and tells him to drop his revenge quest, because while yeah it was not a perfect effort, to me it's clear that 1. kakashi was being very genuine in his words and 2. that it like... almost worked? sasuke was very sincerely pondering his words before the sound 4 came along.

btw so funny that both kakashi and obito tie him up when talking to him. anyway

so you add that with the weird relationship kakashi has with the entire uchiha clan, starting with obito (the very reason kakashi is able to teach sasuke in any meaningful way at all), going through itachi if you treat team ro as canon WHICH I DO, I LOVE TEAM RO, and ending with sasuke, who is someone kakashi can still try to give a normal life to? yeah i can see why he might feel personally responsible for him!

sasuke's side is less in your face but like... sasuke sought kakashi out to help train him and very much echoes kakashi's words about not abandoning your comrades. he is also often the first one to understand where kakashi is going with something, him and kakashi have similar ways of going through life even if kakashi has majorly mellowed out with age.

there's also little things like how sasuke just had no qualms about walking into kakashi's house unannounced (after itachi beat his ass ty itachi looove u itachi), even before that, how when kakashi calls sasuke over while itachi+kisame are having tea, sasuke just kind of announces that he HATES sweets (so cute), as if he made the assumption kakashi either bought it for him or was thinking about it? like.

look at his baby face.

despite whatever route it ended up taking To Me it's very clear that they did have a special bond and that it was a VERY important part of sasuke's everything pre-shippuden, he was clearly comfortable around kakashi despite his standoffish attitude. it was not perfect and kakashi does hold blame for a lot of things (in general he has a very hands-off teaching style that doesn't work great with these kids), but that's like. part of why i like it you know! it's a little complicated but not through any ill will. it's just that they are both full of Issues lmao

it makes me ssoooooo saaaaad that they BARELY speak to each other at all in shippuden because like. that was one of THE dynamics in the original team 7 you know? and idk if it comes as a surprise but i'm not even OPPOSED to sasuke wanting to kill kakashi by the time they meet again? in fact i think it could be kind of awesome. because like he could have a lot of reasons to be angry with him, up to and including the mere fact that kakashi took SO LONG to even meet him again?

(remember when team 7 finally meets sasuke again w/ tenzo and sai, and he himself mentions kakashi? it's one of those things you can choose to dismiss as meaningless dialogue but i often do think about it lol)

but instead we have sasuke in the peak of his borderline-demonization by the writing, which just leads to there not being much of an interesting dialogue at all. i'm not opposed to kakashi's sharingan being something that sasuke comes to resent either — it could be very fun character writing as that is the very thing that encouraged them to bond in the first place —, but i don't like the way it was done and i ESPECIALLY hate how it was immediately dropped like BROTHER MY PLOT THREADS... THEY'RE FALLING APART...

i could go on about a thousand different other things, such as.

sorry to mention jiraiya but. the rasengan vs chidori thing is VERY telling; jiraiya is naruto's mentor, and kakashi is sasuke's, this is reflected best when the kids each use their respective Overkill Jutsu at each other and the adults each take responsibility for their own kid

again, i'm unsure if it's fully intentional but there is this opposition of orochimaru vs kakashi other than the obvious confrontational scene they have. the very fact that kakashi is the one to put a limit to orochimaru's literal influence on sasuke through the curse mark is a very interesting narrative choice! kakashi is also extremely afraid of orochimaru and highly protective of sasuke; again it reads as a Personal fear/protectiveness rather than purely Professional to me. it builds this idea of kakashi being one of sasuke's choices, and orochimaru being the other (and we know which one he chooses unfortunately lol)

chidori in general is like. crazy btw. it becomes sasuke's signature move. and it's kakashi's creation. hi

this is also something that was dropped but there was also the occasional pointing out of similarities between, fucking, lee and gai of all people vs kakashi and sasuke? and like i don't need to explain this one that much right. gai is lee's dad in like everything but name LOL (and much like kakashi he also has questionable habits when it comes to how he teaches his kid)

but this is way too long LMFAO my tldr is that I Like Them And I Wish They Had More Screentime </3

their dynamic concretely to me is about caring very much about someone who shares a lot of pain with you, but being a little intimidated by that shared aspect. nothing hurts more than failing / being failed By someone who you know DOES understand you, in the end!

it's all my personal preference of course there's no right or wrong way to read naruto (well the wrong way is thinking it's good.) (joke) but i WAS surprised to not see sasuke and kakashi's relationship being discussed more (esp. with empathy for both characters) because well. obviously it's one of my favorite naruto things GFKDMGKFDM

#ill start doing these to answer stuff from now on i think #esp since i tend to let them pile up. L #asks #not art #thank u for the infodump prompt 👍 sorry for the long ass response .