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#i have not stopped thinking about it since 2018
j0shisamess · 3 months
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I have some very gay things to say
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evilkitten3 · 10 months
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Wanted to tell you that YES while all that happened bakugo is (even tho being held by multiple people) just laying on the ground for multiple chapters
it's incredibly funny to me bc like irl it's been. almost a year since that chapter came out. and he's been lying there the whole time. he's one of my favorite characters but tbh i really want the story to finally cut back to him and have edgeshot pop back out and go "yeah no there's nothing i can do he fuckin dead" bc it would be so freaking funny.
ofc it'd also be pretty bad writing but that's neither here nor there
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running-in-the-dark · 3 months
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well I can already tell this is gonna be a bad night
today has just been fucking weird and hard. I'm in a bad mood. everything feels bad. (probably not helped by me not taking the new antidepressant last night so I wouldn't sleep all day)
the plan was for my friend to come over this weekend to help me pack. she did that last time and it helped a lot. (my husband could help, obviously, but he's in charge of other things that also need to get done. plus he's very bad at putting things into boxes.)
but the rail strike is still going on so it's likely that she won't be able to get here (or get back in time). so now that's suddenly a lot more stressful and the one thing that I thought would make it go okay is gone.
and I also have to like. at least reread my thesis a few times or whatever to study for the oral exam on Friday. which will make me want to die. because it is bad. so. that will be bad. and the thought of being asked questions about that piece of garbage for 30 fucking minutes is so horrifying that I genuinely do not know if I will be able to get through it without taking my Lorazepam beforehand (which I know is a horrible idea, and my psychiatrist told me twice that it's a bad idea, and I know it would just make me unbelievably stupid. but holy shit that is the scariest thing I can imagine.)
and of course instead of doing anything useful I'm now just sitting here feeling like shit (like last night, only worse)
#it'd just be so fucking nice if I could just.. have a break#it's just been nonstop awful shit since my dad's cancer diagnosis in 🤔 2015. I'm sorry but that's too long. I can't do it anymore. I just#need some damn time to fucking calm down#like yeah any outsider would probably look at my life and think 'well you haven't actually DONE anything in like 6 years'#yeah that's true#but I've also been sick and/or in pain pretty much since 2018. and some of that was fixed last year when I had my gallbladder removed but i#is still not good. first of all that did not work out so well for me. but also everything else is still not right and no one cares and I#just don't have the energy to fight to get a diagnosis#I'm just so tired#I really thought I'd just. go to uni. get my degree in 3 years like expected. get a job. move out. have a normal life FINALLY for the first#time ever#and NONE of that fucking happened#EVERYTHING WENT WRONG. again and again and again#and I am just. so. tired. I can't. I can't do it.#it feels so fucking pathetic to be like 'my life is soooo hard everyone feel bad for me' when there is just. objectively not that much wron#but it just. never. stops.#I've never had a fucking moment to just. sit down. and think. and make decisions about my life. everything just. happens to me#I just. feel so lost and stuck and doomed and it won't fucking get better! it won't! my life got better ONE TIME and it has been pure hell#since then#like. no. it won't get better. this will keep happening over and over and over#I'll never have a choice. not really. I fucked up my life permanently when I dropped out of school at 18 and tbh I wish I would've just bee#brave enough to do what I really wanted then (killing myself)#because fuck. this is not worth it#literally everyone I love is either really fucking far away or just. fictional.#I have no close relationships with anyone irl#everyone I know irl is mean and kind of an asshole. and I'm too useless to meet new people.#I just. I don't want to survive anymore I want to live but I can't have that so. what's the goddamn point#its gonna be fine. because I'm a fucking coward so I'll never do it anyway. but I fucking wish I could
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magentagalaxies · 10 months
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Writing an Essay on Brooklyn 99 So Maybe I Can Stop Thinking About It Every Day:
i can't wait for like 20 years from now when we'll be able to have thoroughly researched academic articles about what the fuck happened with brooklyn 99 and its place in the culture bc even tho i haven't cared to rewatch a single episode since it ended i still think about the show at least once a day because of how fucking surreal that situation was. and ik we already have some (very good!) video essays about the copaganda aspect of it but i feel like we're not gonna be able to understand the full scope of what this sitcom means until decades from now
like it's just so bizarre when you think about it, bc while police and the broader "justice" system have always been viewed as inherently cruel and biased to target minorities and uphold the rich white cishet status quo by many people, this view wasn't quite as mainstream when the show started. the show being set at a police department likely carried none of this baggage to the people working on it when it was first pitched. the thought process was (likely) more like well, we already have sitcoms that take place at all these generic jobs, so "cop" is a natural continuation of that list, as well as well, police dramas have been huge for the past twenty years, so having a sitcom set at a police department allows us to spoof that and get some cool action sequences, and let's be real andy samberg needs something to do after snl. like not excusing the glorification of cops by any means, but imagine if you were the creator of "the office" and then around season 6 it became impossible to ignore that paper companies were inherently racist and killing people and there was a movement to defund them??? again, it's not a perfect analogy bc there are just inherent parts of being a cop that should have tipped people off that maybe this isn't the best for a goofy comedy, but i don't think this show was made with any malicious intent, it was just very bad luck
but the "goofy sitcom about cops comes out when cops are still seen (by the mainstream) as normal guys and stays on the air long enough to have an existential crisis in 2020" thing honestly isn't the only reason this show fascinates me. i think this aspect has been covered by other people a fair amount, and honestly it's not even unique to brooklyn 99 (there are still a TON of cop shows on the air rn, even cop comedies! none of them have reached the same heights as brooklyn 99 but yeah unfortunately the "defund the police" movement did not kill cop shows). the real reason brooklyn 99 has retained such a bizarre place in sitcom history, and why it even had this identity crisis to begin with, is in its tone.
if i had to guess the three things brooklyn 99 is most remembered for are:
being a copaganda sitcom that tried not to be and imploded on itself
the cold open bits that were such widespread memes that even if you've never watched the show you can probably quote at least two
the diversity of its characters
we're going to focus on number three. brooklyn 99 was a groundbreakingly diverse show from the very beginning. the number of people of color in its cast was beyond most sitcoms at the time, and captain holt being openly gay was a plot point from the pilot episode. however, i don't think the show really embraced its status as "the woke sitcom" until around season 2 or 3 (i don't remember exactly when the shift happened and i don't want to rewatch it to find out) in the earliest episodes, the tone is more focused on typical sitcom tropes combined with parodies of police drama tropes. this is also a very egregious era for people to look back on like "hm the behavior of these cops isn't entirely ethical even tho they're the supposed good guys," but again other people have covered this topic way better than i can
however, in seasons 3-5 brooklyn 99 started to take off in liberal circles because of its "progressive" politics. the show's female characters were badass and had actual personalities! the show had characters who were people of color and acknowledged racism existed! the show even started having episodes that acknowledged these issues, and its cast pushed for advocacy as well. as someone who was deep in the "brooklyn 99 is out unproblematic fave" culture of that era, i specifically remember rosa's coming out episode as a huge moment for queer representation, and i remember how much people applauded the episode where terry is racially profiled by another officer for shedding light on the issue. the characters on brooklyn 99 weren't just seen as "the good guys," they were seen as an ideal diverse friend group. the retort whenever someone pointed out the copaganda was to point out the depiction of other cops on the show being "the bad guys," and explain "brooklyn 99 isn't saying all cops are good, it's saying that our main characters are an example of what police should be like, and we can work together to make the system better!" i'll dissect this take more later, but for not this is just a snapshot of what the culture was like.
the main thing i remember from being on tumblr during the heyday of brooklyn 99 was this phrase being repeated over. and over. and over. again:
"this is proof that you can be funny without being offensive!"
sure, brooklyn 99 wasn't the only show to be given this tag line by its fan base, but i associate this take with brooklyn 99 more than any other show that was popular during that time. especially when it comes to the cold open bits, like "now number five", or "the full bullpen!" or "hot damn!" it would also be applied to bits about queerness like "bye rosa!" or "BONE???" which is understandable, since most sitcom audiences were used to queerness constantly being the butt of the joke and it was nice to just hear bisexuality used as a non-judgmental pun for once.
this was also during an era where "offensive comedy" was very heavily taken over by the right wing, especially trump supporters. in the minds of many, "offensive comedy" just meant a conservative saying slurs and getting butthurt when people stopped laughing. the right was offensive and grotesque, so the left would take the high road and be tolerant of everything. we don't want to offend people, but we still want comedy, so brooklyn 99 is a nice way to reassure ourselves that we can still laugh while being as inoffensive as possible. the ironic thing is i'm sure someone can find a reason to find any one of these brooklyn 99 cold opens offensive. i'm not going to make a callout post for every single potentially offensive thing in these bits bc that just feels like making up a guy to get mad at, but my point is "offensiveness" is subjective and not the deadly sin we thought it was.
(to detour slightly, this idea of "proof that you can be funny without being offensive" was so internalized in me that i ended up self-censoring my own works so much. it actually wasn't until i discovered scott thompson's comedy that i realized being "offensive" in the overt queerness of your work is actually so much more powerful than trying to look unproblematic. homophobes are gonna find you disgusting no matter what you do, so don't censor yourself to seem better than them because at best they won't care and at worst they'll see you as the death of comedy)
season five was the peak of brooklyn 99 imo. the show was diverse. the fandom was everywhere. the comedy was iconic. then it was cancelled. not the social-media-version of cancelled, that will come much later. fox, the network brooklyn 99 aired on, pulled the plug on the show after season five, leading to a massive uproar on twitter in defense of the show. major celebrities were tweeting about how they watched it every week, people were petitioning other networks to pick it up, and eventually someone did!! brooklyn 99 was brought back on nbc through season 8 and we all lived happily ever after
just kidding but can you imagine?
whenever brooklyn 99 pops into my brain these days, i keep coming back to the same theory, which is that the show would be remembered much more fondly if it was just cancelled after season five. i would've been sad, sure, but think about it. it's 2018. this show is still viewed as the pinnacle of positive representation by so many people. its fan base is vast and passionate, and it even ended on the classic wedding episode for the will-they/won't-they couple. yeah it's a shame to let all that momentum go to waste and not have a proper sendoff for everyone, but we move on and fans fill in the gaps themselves through their own creativity. a few years down the line, our nation finally experiences a reckoning with police brutality and the defund the police movement gains traction. this of course taints the legacy of our beloved cop sitcom, but we didn't know back then (even though we really should've), and since the show is done we can just enjoy it as escapism while also being firm in our beliefs irl. this system isn't perfect, but the question of how do we remember brooklyn 99? is a lot easier when brooklyn 99 is not currently airing
but brooklyn 99 was airing, and seasons 6-8 were a mess. even beyond the copaganda conversation, things just felt a bit off. the shorter seasons definitely didn't help, since they took away a fan favorite aspect of the show (the halloween heist episodes, which honestly are the only things i'm ever tempted to rewatch anymore) and gave us less and less time in the world of our characters. jake and amy had a kid, because that's what sitcom couples are supposed to do. we saw rosa's girlfriend. and rosa's girlfriend. and rosa's girlfriend. the show dealt with mass shootings, the #metoo movement, and other topical issues.
then the world shut down, and middle class white people finally had to reckon with the realities of police brutality since they couldn't look away. brooklyn 99 of course was swept up in this conversation, and since they were always known as the most progressive sitcom on television, they had to do something. but it was looking more and more like despite all their efforts "progressive cop show" was an oxymoron, and all they could do was try and minimize the damage while making a swift exit.
there have already been several essays on how brooklyn 99 handled its identity as a "cop show" in its final season, and this essay is already long enough so I won't get into the weeds even more here. some aspects were a good step towards important conversations (rosa quitting, jake's realization that everyone sees themselves as one of the good ones, etc.). some were... trying their best? but also vague enough that there was no substance beyond just saying "this is a thing" (amy's arc about submitting a proposal defunding some police programs? i don't even remember if that's what it was about since it was so vague). and others were just kind of baffling??? like. the show ends with jake quitting being a cop, which is good. and his decision is framed as entirely about wanting to spend more time with his son... but also the whole reason he got to spend more time with his son was because he got suspended for intimidating a suspect and being super unethical??? and that's never brought up again or cited as a reason for jake quitting. like, they already had rosa quit because she realized being a cop was just contributing to a corrupt system, and jake has just had the dark realization that no matter how golden-retriever-husband he is, he's still a corrupt cop??? but they fully ignore that and make the finale about family??? idk it just feels like they wrote the finale before everything went down and never bothered to rewrite it.
but the important thing is that brooklyn 99 finally ended, and rather than being met with the standing ovation of its almost-finale in season five, it was met with... still a moderate amount of applause, but mostly people looking away and awkwardly asking what to do with it now. in the years since, i have barely seen anything about brooklyn 99 on the internet. idk if it's just because of who i surround myself with, but to contrast, i still see things about the office, parks and rec, community, scrubs, 30 rock, etc. years after they ended. i didn't even like the office! and these shows certainly had problematic elements as well (even my favorites on this list, community and scrubs, have some jokes that really don't hold up), but even tho i couldn't scroll past 5 posts on tumblr in 2015 without seeing a fandom redraw of "and i know that if i run at terry he will catch me" "JAKE I'M HOLDING COFFEE!", brooklyn 99 has kind of... vanished?
the only times i'm forced to think about brooklyn 99 now (outside of this essay bouncing around my brain every 24 hours) are when i see a post where it is the butt of the joke or a piece of discourse that we all know the right side of. a netflix synopsis of the show prioritizes saying it's "full of memeable moments" but never uses the word "cop." that's obviously bad, but also, that's accurate to how we thought of the show back in 2015. the cop thing was easily ignorable by its fans. or, more potently, on a post about how cops shouldn't be allowed at pride, some clueless steven universe blog pipes up "what about captain holt?" and is treated to a barrage of "HE'S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER STOP BEING A BOOTLICKER." and maybe that's evidence of the more damning legacy of brooklyn 99, that for all its progressive storytelling, it's still a cop show. and even if you're a fan who knows most cops aren't like our main characters and they're just an example of how the system should be, that still makes you idolize the idea that there could be people like these characters who made you feel seen, and that they're working in the police force. that if you say "ACAB" you could make captain holt sad, because even though the show and fandom tried so hard to make the police identity secondary to their mission of diversity, the police identity has to come first in order for any real change to be made.
that's all i have for now. i'm sure i didn't explain things entirely perfectly and that there's major aspects to this conversation that i missed, but that's why i'm excited to read someone else's analysis in 20 years. i'm very curious to see what brooklyn 99's legacy will be like then.
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softdavidrose · 1 year
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Okay I've posted this everywhere so now you get it too I'M OFFICIALLY SEEING WATERPARKS IN NOVEMBER 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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wulfhalls · 1 year
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Lee soo man needs to pay. For everything
if I start to think about the mismanagement/ mistreatment of the exos for longer than 0.3 seconds I get so heated I implode on the spot
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*grabs v.yn by his whole face and moves him aside* Ma.rius 🥰🥰🥰 come here 🙈💓💗😘😍🥰🥰
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cherryjuicegf · 2 years
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it's not just you, if that helps. there's barely any posts in the tags and my dash is empty. the witcher fandom in general is dead :/
not very helpful i know but know you're not alone! <3
yeah that's true i've noticed :( i really hope it resurrects with the tudum news and people will be back i miss it!!
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sunuism · 2 years
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guys this is kinda scary to admit and i hope i wont get kicked out of the community but i think ive gotten over my bts hater phase *runs away*
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wyrdoh · 2 months
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i just think it's so funny. such a grumpy dude. but he's a competitive compulsive neat freak. and makes things explode. what's not to love
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maddy-ferguson · 5 months
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it's actually fascinating that i'm not depressed rn because my life isn't that much better than it was when i actually was depressed (2019). i mean i guess it is a little better because my grandma didn't just die and i'm not in love with someone who doesn't like me back and i also kind of know where i'm going with school and presumably life and i don't call the place i live in my cell because of how small it is but the foundations are still very shaky
#this reads like a joke because it is but it's also true#i remember in october of 2018 like a month after my grandma had died i was at my grandparents' house for the first time since she had died#or for the first time since her funeral ig because i spent a few days there while she was in the hospital and after her funeral etc. and i#was thinking about my life and about how very boring it was. and i had basically always thought that but from that moment on it was like an#actual situation and then i started being sad all the time in like january (not even right after my grandma died because of course i loved#her very much but it wasn't even about that) and then in march or maybe april i started feeling empty more than sad and that was just crazy#and then in july i started wanting to kill myself and i finally understood what people on the internet were talking about and anyway. bad#year. but it's like. okay i had all that going on but i remember being like how did i deal with my life being this lame before#because it was never good. i was stupid to enjoy it and to not feel like killing myself every second of every day. and when i stopped being#depressed (incidentally when i stopped being invested in my friendship with the girl i was in love with like literally my grandpa died in#december of 2019 and it was terrible and i was very sad but it still didn't stop me from getting better😭 so crazy our relationship was just#THAT bad for me) i remember being SO grateful that my life was back to being boring i was like i would rather be at a 5-6 all the time than#go from 11 to -5 in five minutes and so i really liked feeling bored but not empty and it's crazy because i still feel like that when it's#been almost four years like i was expecting that feeling to fade a little. but i'm also like well maybe i should do things to make my life#better because the only reason i'm not depressed rn is just because i don't have one more bad thing going on like i'm just lucky😭#lmao. but also. i don't really want to i just wish i had one more friend#and like i say: brf slt#tw suicide#<- for me#my friend i was in love with was a very nice girl she never really did anything to me if we had been friends at any other time in my life w#would probably still be friends. or i guess not because i WAS in love with her but like i had issues with our friendship that i never would#have had if it had been any other year in my life i was crying up to 10 times a day at one point in late august because she hadn't#talked to me in like 25 hours like i was not normal😭😭😭#i was very close to my grandparents i saw them like at least one week every month even though they lived 400kms away and spent all my#holidays with them it was my mother and them that raised me and my sister them dying altered the fabric of my life. for context
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also re the 'have you been looking at my wips': i havent, however! :D i know thats Perpetually The Mood for writing because i have things im working on that are going exactly like that rbdndnsjzcnsk
I have a fic sitting in my “currently working on” google doc rn that I could easily write 10 parts for (and I’m going to…eventually) but I want to write part 4 so bad but I haven’t written part 2 yet 😭 I don’t want to skip it but I,,,,might
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theoogtree · 1 year
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Just had the thought that if I'm going to start going to the library then I might as well start going back to therapy especially because they're like right next to each other but the thing about that is therapy is at the hospital and that's where the germs are
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ultraviolencced · 1 year
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you know how parents get divorced and hate each other when they lose a child well it’s like that but my mom to me
#there was like a ‘honeymoon’ time where she told me she loved me daily and gave hugs which hasn’t happened since 2018 and that didn’t last#and now she wants nothing to do with me bc apparently i’m a horrible manipulative piece of shit#me: self harms is scared and asked for help my mom: mad at me like when my sister did she held her and comforted her and called the crisis#response team to make sure she’s ok and im just manipulater with nothing wrong with me#she fucking asked me in not a good tone if i was ok i said no i’m not ok and she said in a tone well obviously no one is ok with this i’m#talking about right now like no i just self harmed for the first time in years im a scared sobbing mess and she didn’t care#yesterday i told her i was mad at myself and i wish she would’ve stopped me impulsively spending bc it’s a super unhealthy coping mechanism#and trigger and she knows that and then she fucking encourages me to buy something then i ask for help and she’s mad at me she hasn’t even#looked at me today like this why i’ve spent my entire life not telling her how i’m feeling or struggling because it does more harm than good#like what are you supposed to do when your mom hates you no i can’t move out i have autism and i’m disabled and can’t work#there were 3 weeks of me thinking she actually did care and actually meant it when she said she loved me but that’s over so now i just sit#in my room alone trying to cope with my brother dying and my mom not liking me and worrying about my sister bc she’s in such a fragile state#all i want to do is talk to her about how i’m feeling and i can’t because it will send her into a rage and she will literally fucking hate#me and want me out of the house#idk i’m 27 i should just shut the fuck up and move on i’ve done it for 23 years i can just fucking continue it is what it is#shut the fuck up taylor
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cheriladycl01 · 5 months
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Love in the Fast lane - Max Verstappen x Actress! Reader
Plot: Max Verstappen meeting an Actress who has actively been a F1 fan from before the limelight gets invited to the Monza GP after her recent film debut.
Credit to piosqueak1507 for the GIF
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"Can we please stop getting these celebrities in that know absolutely nothing about the sport? Vegas was a ball ache" Max says to Christian they walk through the Monza paddock.
"I think you'll actually enjoy who we have for this race, they're a big sponsor" Christian smiles.
"Yeah they all are ..." Daniel chimes in with a slight laugh.
"No, trust me guys i think you'll really really like her" Christian says as they round the corner. Normally whatever celebrity that sat in any of the garages would immediately be getting photos by both their manager and the Red Bull Team for the publicity on both ends.
However both Daniel and Max immediately saw the celebrity that had been invited. She was in the Red Bull team gear crouched down observing Max's car, she was asking questions to all the engineers before taking her own swing on things.
"That's Y/N Y/L/N" Daniel whispers wide eyed just watching her look so effortlessly normal.
"She's been a motor-sport fan for ages! Since before she was an actress. There's a picture of her at like age 10 at the South Korean Grand Prix. She had her first big movie 3 year later!" he continues as if he'd read an autobiography on her at some point.
"Hey Y/N come meet the drivers!" Christian offers to you, your hair was up in a tight pony tail, your face was natural and free of makeup and if they didn't know who you were apart from your outstanding natural beauty they'd assume you were an actual Red Bull team member.
"Oh my gosh, Hi hello!" you saying coming up to them and shaking there hands. Daniel and Max share a look between them, not believing how this 23 year old, Oscar Award winning actress is being a fan girl over them.
"Hello, its really nice to meet you!" Daniel says, and before you know it your being pulled into a hug.
"So you were asking some detailed questions about our cars, how'd that come about?" Max asks trying to get a judge on this girl.
"Oh! Well apart from the fact I've been a Motorsport fan for ages, I did a degree in Engineering at St Andrews around my career. I graduated last year!"
"Oh woah, that really amazing! Daniel was just telling me about the picture of you at the South Korean Grand Prix in 2010!" he offers, trying to get to know the extremely pretty girl in front of him. You excitedly pull out your phone, going straight into the photos app and to the specific album you had all of your Formula One pictures in.
"Oh i have another one of me and Sebastian Vettel when he won the 2013 Germany Grand Prix, I'd just got back from a movie premiere in London, and i refused to miss it! Oh and here's me, Lewis, Kimi and Sebastian in 2018!" you says showing them the pictures on the phone.
"Well, you had a picture with Seb when he was the Red Bull Golden boy but how about you get one with the current?" Max smirks, and your face reddens.
"Yeah of course! But I want a separate one just for me, not to go on any socials" you smile, you hand your phone to Christian who takes a private one of you and then the media teams come after to take them.
Daniel leaves to talk to his engineer and Christian leaves to set up for the race ahead.
"I'm going to be blunt, I like you. You have a true interest in the sport and if i win this race I want to take you out to dinner" he smirks, looking over at you. He was lent against the wall, his race suit down around his hips.
"Hmmm okay, you've got yourself a deal" you agree.
You watched the race in the Red Bull Garage with the headphones on. You'd been on camera a few times, sometimes when you'd been biting your lip as Max had clipped a corner or didn't break early enough but stopped himself from spinning out. Other times they just caught you with an in awe adoring look at the screen as you watched the cars zoom past.
Max tried as hard as he could but today the Ferrari's just had pace, Charles ended P1, Lando ended P2 and Carlos ended P3, Max unfortunately not being able to go for the overtake in the last sector.
"Everyone in RedBull was celebrating the win of P4 and P5, you came out with the pulling Daniel who had gotten out of his car first into a huge hug.
"Well done Dani that was an amazing race considering the longer pit stop" you admit looking at him and he gives you a massive grin back.
"Max, Max!" you shout as you see him pull himself over the halo of his car. He slams his fist onto the bonnet, and shoves his helmet into the seat of the car.
"Hey, stop you did really well!" you smile at him, holding each wrist of his in your hands, his forehead had started to line with a little bit of sweat, his helmet hair being scraped back now.
"Didn't get the dinner though did i?" he frowns.
"Well what if i tell you that I'm good to go out with you for dinner regardless of a race win..." you smile and he smiles back.
"But that would be going against the offer I originally made" he smirks, leaning forward.
"Fuck the original offer Verstappen" you laugh at him, pulling him in for a kiss that he happily led.
Taglist:
@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld
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soft-spooks · 2 years
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evrry day i get a little bit weaker
#i miss sister location........... SO bad#i also just remembered come closer was a thing and. ouh thats stuck in my head nowwwwwww#i xaaaaabnt. i canttt. its litcherally been 4 years since i watched a video ive been so strong#<< lit erally nobody is stopping me but. i KNOW itll hit me like a train so bad#see the thing abt having a comfort media for an extended perjod of time and then violently breaking all connectuon with it#is that like. eventually you will miss it so bad#i think my real problem is like#i dont know if theres been any *new* stuff since then and i dont. want to see it if there is hdbfjxbsjd#i also really wanna watch the subnautica vieeos again. antis not in those but like. been thinkin ab t my au#and i dont rlly know any good ones other than psj but his are very uhhhh. boring (affectionate)#sigh . miss my boy.#but i dont want to see any new stuff. i dont want to know it exists i dont want to see the prpbably bad directions my boy has been taken in#i am looking away i do not see it !!!!!@#i cannot afford to interact w that fandom in any way ever again i REFUSE. and watching recent videos is too close for comfort#BUT. i kinda wanna get back into the nostalgia 2016-2018 era. sighhhggghh#helpppp im goig 2 make bad decisions#i have to work tomorrow. i didnt get a weekend this week. its gkna be a full week until sunday n then i have a half day#but still thats soooo much and i dont . wanna.#i dont wanna. i wanna. finish my jellyfish puzzle and have new art on my wall#and think about my knife boyfriend#🔪
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