#i have covid it’s made me dramatic don’t mind me

[liliansun]

Lilaccccc how r u? 😭😭 haven’t spoken to u in a while

RONI BEARRRRRR im lowkey dying but that’s okay we are thriving 🥰😭😭😭 HOW ARE YOUUUYY MY LOVE

#i have covid it’s made me dramatic don’t mind me #lilac’s moots 🥳 #roni bear 🌱

[stsgluver]

summary. instead of spending two weeks in a hot country, you're stuck in a cramped hotel with your boyfriend.

wc. 1.3k

tags. richly!gojo au, fluff, slightly suggestive themes but not really you've got to squint hard, swearing once

series masterlist

“i’m literally dying,” gojo whined, falling back dramatically onto the double bed in the room.

you shot him a glare from where you sat on the floor, searching through your suitcase for ibuprofen which you had grabbed in the airport’s pharmacy to help with the searing headache you had. despite his tendency to have migraines that could leave him bedridden for days, gojo had decided not to bring any painkillers just in case and that was just one of many reasons you might be killing him before the fortnight is over. “if you complain one more time you will be dead.”

you were meant to be going on a two week, all inclusive holiday with your darling boyfriend and his mega rich family in a hot foreign country, the worries of college pushed far to the back of your mind for fourteen days of pure bliss. 

but fate clearly didn’t think you’d earnt such restbite as upon arrival and taking the mandatory test, both you and gojo had tested positive for covid-19. the light sniffles he had put down to hayfever and the headache you’d assumed was just what came with having gojo satoru as a boyfriend, were in fact symptoms of the illness you both had.

so now here you were: isolating in a small hotel room until your isolation period was up, or you both tested negative. it was sparsely decorated – a double bed in the centre of the room and a television opposite. there was a small open wardrobe where gojo had dumped his suitcase and an ensuite that would just about fit your lanky boyfriend. although not the best, there was some air conditioning as well which made the stifling heat just a little bit more bearable.

the staff had given you a specific number to call if either of your symptoms got worse and food would be brought to you at specific times everyday (not like the usual room service gojo was used to where he’d order banquets of food at stupid times in the morning). there were also the morning tests that you now had to do daily which left you pathetically sneezing afterwards. all in all, nothing that you had expected for your get away.

after finally finding the medication, you quickly swallowed two pills down with a sip of water. the sooner they could kick in and actually do something to help ease your discomfort, the better.

crawling onto the double bed, gojo welcomed you with open arms and you gratefully curled into his side, throwing one of your legs over him. yes, it was boiling and yes, you were mildly irritated with your boyfriend, but you were also in pain and, for all his flaws (which he denied having any), nothing could top being held close by him. the two of you were clingy with each other at the best of times – being ill and feeling sorry for yourselves only made you both worse.

“pass me the remote,” you patted the space next to gojo blindly, too lazy to lift your head to actually search for it. it had now been almost an hour of you two cuddled up on the bed, and for the last thirty minutes gojo had been rewatching the same show over and over. whilst you headache had marginally subsided, listening to the same crappy show was only driving you insane.

“no, i like this show,” gojo whined, swatting your hand away.

“satoru,” you dragged out, muffled as you pressed your face further into his top, “you’ve watched this episode three times, you don’t need to watch it again.”

gojo hummed thoughtfully, running his hands through your hair. it was enough to make you fall asleep if you weren’t careful. “yes i do.”

“why?” you rested your chin on his chest, meeting the gaze of his bright blue eyes that sparkled as they looked down at you.

“because i’m ill.” he coughed twice for affect, sounding as pathetic as ever as he ‘checked’ himself for a fever too. 

you narrowed your eyes at him before pinching his side, causing him to let out a small yelp. “who’s fault is that?”

“covid’s.”

“no. yours,” you said pointedly, a little more alert as you relayed all the reasons why it was in fact gojo’s fault that you both had contracted this illness. “i said don’t go to geto’s party, we’re about to go on a very expensive holiday. you said but baby please please please-” you huffed, rolling back onto your back next to him defiantly. “so i gave in, as per, and now we’re–”

gojo brought his other hand to messily pat the top of your head, coaxing you to turn to face him. “i love it when you’re mad,” he was wearing a shit-eating grin that only widened when you blankly stared back at him – your annoyance radiating off of you in waves more powerful than the ones you could’ve been enjoying on the sun-ridden beach. “you’re so sexy.”

“you’re corny. and annoying,” you sat yourself up as you held out your hand, lifting a finger with each complaint, “and stupidly tall, and a pain in my ass… and i feel like you’re not even listening.” 

gojo crossed his arms behind his head as he condescendingly nodded along, gazing up at you with a lopsided smile. his top had risen up ever so slightly to expose a sliver of his abs and you hated how attractive he looked when all you wanted to do was throttle him for his childish behaviour.

“oh i’m listening baby,” he encouraged with a teasing tone, tracing small patterns on the exposed skin of your leg. “go on.” there was a fire in his wake, one that no hot weather could ever compare to, not even covid had this much of an affect on you.

“i don’t think i want to anymore,” you mumbled arms crossed as you slowly lay back down and avoided his eyes, trying not to give him any indication that you were a complete fool for his touch (like your sudden bashfulness wasn’t completely giving you away).

gojo was slow with his movements, thoughtful as he dragged his hand up along your thigh, grazing your hips, giving your waist a light squeeze as he traced the outline of your body. your breath was caught in your throat as you allowed him to do as he pleased, all previous grievances forgiven as you watched entranced. gradually, he closed the gap that you had created, shifting his body until he straddled you, holding his body up by resting on his forearms either side of your head.

gojo dipped his head down, lips milimetres from your own that you would barely even need to lift your head from the pillow to touch. his voice was an octave deeper as he spoke. “shame, i was just starting to–” 

and then he fell into a fit of very loud and very barky and very not sexy coughs. he didn’t even give you the decency of trying to limit the spread of his germs and buried his head into the crook of your neck once his coughs were over.

“mood fucking ruined,” you hit his shoulder lightly and he babbled something that was completely muffled and only tickled as his lips brushed your skin. “please let me at least change the channel so i die from this illness and not insanity.” 

gojo lifted his head up ever so slightly, just enough so that he could peck the corner of your lips and point to the spot next to you. “i slipped the remote under my pillow. tv’s all yours baby.”

a/n. I think this is like the first thing ive posted in almost a month. I MISS YOU GUYS xxx

taglist. @jar-03 @animeflower26 @hyori2

#— toru!! #satoru #gojo drabbles #gojo x reader #gojo #gojo satoru #gojou satoru x you #gojo fluff #gojou satoru #rich boy!gojo

[majicmarker]

i’ve started thinking pretty seriously about whether or not i want to continue my mimi duncan brand of books. which is not to say that i’m unhappy with what i’ve already published—it has nothing to do with what i’ve already put out there. i just don’t know that it’s what i want to continue to do. 

i almost wonder if i was too ambitious with all my series plans—again, not to say that i’m unable to write them, but rather i was overly ambitious in keeping my interests/enthusiasm stable. i think what i did, ultimately, was lock myself down? i overcommitted to something because i had it in my head it was something that other people wanted—bc romance readers love a series! they love the dramatic, sexy indies! and it was easy enough for me to write that, to structure all my writing plans around that.

what i wasn’t thinking about—not entirely, anyway—was what i wanted in the long run. 

and i just, i don’t know if this is it. like, do i want to focus on high drama and eroticism? honestly i don’t think i do. 

and i know this speaks to this larger issue that i have, about how i feel like i don’t exist unless i’m doing something for other people. so no matter what decisions i was making at the time, or how much it felt like it was for me—because i was writing largely from my experiences with abuse, i chose to self-publish bc i would be in control of that (and i would still choose to self-publish moving forward, too)—i still kept justifying my decisions based on other people; like, this is what readers like (particularly readers of indie romance), series and recurring characters and high drama and explicit sex scenes. i really played into those things and, as much as i do enjoy writing them, it just wasn’t entirely authentically naturally me, to dig into them as much as i did? or, at least, it doesn’t quite feel like me anymore. 

and what readers like is important, of course, but it can’t be the most important. what i want to write, without anything else in mind, needs to be the most important.

it’s not like i have to decide right now, it’s not like anything would be set in stone no matter what choice i do make. (besides, the plan for this year was always to write and publish the sex shop book first, and i’m doing so under my real name, which would be separate from my mimi duncan brand regardless.)

the thing that bugs me is that i did overcommit, at an emotionally volatile time (i was making these plans during covid’s ~debut, as it were)—i went all-in with my plans without any real consideration about whether or not i would want to move forward with those plans in the future. 

now it’s going-on two years after the fact, and i’m not sure that i want to keep going down this road. 

which is fine, really? i don’t mean to be overwrought about it, because i don’t feel that way at all. like, i don’t even feel disappointed in the concept of closing shop on this brand. because, like i said, i do love the books i have published, and i’ve learned a lot about the logistics of indie pub because of them. if i do walk away from this stage of my writing career, i certainly won’t be doing so empty-handed. 

i guess where i’m at right now is just, like, this transition stage of having made plans, and whether or not i want to execute these particular plans any further. 

so. lots to consider, to ponder, to mull over, et cetera, et al, and all the rest.

#a/n #plans plans plans i use that word A Lot here and frankly PLANS have perhaps been the problem this whole time #'man plans god laughs' u know how it is

[beenjen]

Ooooh boy, today, this week, the past few months, the last several years…. It’s not been peak y’all. Not peak at all.

But. BUT. I have listens…. Check it -

This album was everything back in my 20s. The closest friend who in turn ended up introducing me to Chris brought this into my life… let’s just stay today has been a musical journey while it poured rain and ‘tunda’ on middle tennessee… we haven’t had rain in so long, the grass is dying, my flowers despite watering 2 x a day are struggling, my saplings have needed daily drippage, it’s been DRY, also, no matter what the weather channel says, it’s been > 100 for 3 weeks, with ‘feels like’ 110 and higher - so I’m not complaining, I just didn’t go on a hike.

We made cherry turnovers, butterfly art, and owned Minecraft -

We have a burn ban. We have brown foliage. We have humidity of > 70%. Welcome to the dirty, dirty south 🤘

Before I’m interrupted. Here’s the nitty gritty -

I did hit that extra 20, I assume the scale was predicting the future. Before I get neggy here, I just want to add, this has been what it is. I am not negative with myself. I’m not mad. I can’t deny a little disappointed that I gained 20 of the 70 I lost back, it wasn’t the 70 though, and I’m still down to clown. Workouts are non existent aside from some stollen made up mat time of my own for maybe 20 minutes, a mile or 2 walk at work on the days I’m there, sometimes weights, more likely not. I’ve continued 16/8 fasting and have extended to a couple 48 hour fasts and it really does do wonders for my hectic mind. I only push for it if I’m not hungry, and it’s not a FULL fast because I will have my collagen and kombucha. It is just, something I’m trying to maintain and not be detrimental to my mental here and now - it’s not like we don’t have a heap of other bs on our heads.

Mom.

Her ct showed positive movement of her tumors. - I didn’t realize that was plural until recently, so while we are ahead at this point, the war is waging. And I say that not to be over dramatic, it’s just, I have to not be mopped with small wins and no victory, and it’s been a rollercoaster, and I’m swamped with just, grief. It’s grief, sitting with our necks on a chopping block, waiting for it to drop, and no one tells you this. That every visit is an anxiety laden heart attack. That each treatment and lab draw is a potential harbinger, and it’s fucking a Hoover to my soul, it’s an emotional leech on my folks, it’s exhausting. We tally ho of course, and I have this intense guilt for my feelings when it’s happening around me and not TO ME, it’s epically hard though. It’s hard. All of it.

Dad.

He’s hitting the ground running. His treatments for the myeloma have been great. The oncologists have gotten together and they can do Oral hormone therapy for his relapsed prostate cancer, then switch to pills for his multiple myeloma in the coming months as well. Positive on that front.

The summer programs with Jamis have been a hit. He has had a blast playing with cousins, doing ‘science’ and he is thrilled for legos this coming week. Best decision ever - also, not having to deal with the day to day dramedy that is my in-laws feels like we’ve had a damn colonic - the total crap of their instability and inconsistency is GONE, and hubs not having the day in and out with them has boosted his mood so far it’s stratospheric at this point. It’s as if I’m married to another man. His parents baggage was so heavy, not having them insert themselves 20 times a day for diet, questions about shows to watch, bathing suits, sun block, random ‘he doesn’t want to do x’ it’s been a breeze y’all. Easy breezy beautiful cover girl over here with excommunicado in-laws.

My SIL and bro are out the outskirts too as they’ve contracted Covid again, for the third time. Even though it’s apparently not real and a conspiracy. Just made the 4th easier. With the burn ban, we did paper lanterns that burn out in the atmosphere and are biodegradable-

The rest is history. We are all chugging along. Work has been so incredible. My current working with team has been elevated, and turns out I WILL be getting what I previously had; work from home day, procedure day, and position increase to lead NP. So, I followed my gut, and it worked out. Honestly that restored some of my distrust in humanity and Karma. Always a good thing.

Hope you guys are all doing fabulous. Sending you much love and encouragement through the day to day xx

#east nashville #make the best of it #family time #working mom #looking at the stars

[forabeatofadrum]

Notes: Welp, yesterday I tested positive for COVID and then completely forgot to update this, but here we are, a day late! If Baz can wait for twenty years, then we can survive a day.

AO3

–

VII

~~

2155

When I first got used to immortality, twenty years felt like ages. My life was on hold and I had no clue what to do with all this time that I was granted against my will. I watched how everyone around me died of old age, which is something that I can only dream of. (And I do. The only thing that keeps me from drowning in self-sorrow is the knowledge that I get to see Simon sometimes.). But after the first hundred years or so, I got used to it and the opposite took place: twenty years felt like nothing. Twenty years feel like a little blip in all of eternity. It made waiting for Simon bearable, since it’s only a small amount of time compared to of my never-ending life.

But these past twenty years were hell.

And hell does feel endless.

I’m sitting in my chair. The tea and sour cherry scones have been served. The Veil has lifted and I am waiting.

The wait for Simon has been unbearable from the moment I realised he left without me being able to apologise. The “I’m sorry” has been on the tip of my tongue for all these years. The worst part of all of this is that for the first time in decades, I’m not certain of Simon’s Visit. The last time I spoke to him, I told him to leave, and he obliged. He didn’t even fight back. He just vanished.

I’m sitting in silence. You can only hear the ticking of the clock, which adds to the dramatics. Why do I even have this fucking clock? No one in this day and age uses analogue clocks!

I wait and I wait.

My eyelids start to feel heavy. (I blame the summer heat.)

--

When I wake up, I notice that some scones are missing from the plate. I turn my head to the left and I do a double take when I realise what I am seeing.

Simon.

Sitting on my other fancy chair.

Juggling three sour cherry scones in the air.

I haven’t seen him for two decades and now he’s here juggling my food, flying scones around my flat.

“What the hell?” I say loudly. That breaks Simon’s concentration. He lets out a yelp and the three cherry scones land on my carpet.

“Damnit, Baz,” Simon says, “I was close to breaking my new record. They were in the air for around 5 minutes and you missed it!”

After the initial hilarity caused by Simon juggling scones, my mind catches up with the situation. My body feels heavy as if something is pressing me down. I cannot get out of this chair. It’s too much. Seeing Simon after all this time is too much. It strangely reminds me of his first Visit: the mixture of shock and surprise. Although this time I don’t jump on him. Quite the opposite.

“You’re… here,” I manage to croak out.

“Yeah, of course,” he says, like it’s obvious. He even has a frown on his face.

And finally, finally, I get to say it.

“I’m sorry, Simon.”

Fuck.

Twenty years of those words circling in my head every damn day. That’s 7.300 days. That’s 10.512.000 minutes. That’s-

“I’m sorry too, Baz,” Simon says and he reaches for my hand. The familiar cold sensation overtakes. I shudder instinctively, but it also feels so good to have a tangible proof of Simon being here and that’s the thing that breaks me.

I let out a sob.

“Twenty years, Simon,” I say through my sobs, “Twenty fucking years.”

I feel a hand on my cheek. I freeze. The cold is welcoming.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, babe.”

“I- I am so fucking sorry, Simon! I thought I’d lost you forever. For real, this time.”

“I won’t go without saying goodbye, Baz,” he says and cold arms wrap around me. He pulls me against him. I open my eyes and I see that he’s crouched in front of me and he’s holding me. The cold is painful, but I’ve never minded before.

The only thing I mind is his apology.

He didn’t do anything wrong and now he’s comforting me?

I don’t deserve him.

That’s what’s been on my mind for these twenty years. I don’t deserve him. I never did. He’s the one who’s dead for Merlin’s sake, and I am whining about life.

“Baz, I forgive you,” he says softly, “Oh how I adore you. I can’t stay mad at you.”

“You didn’t come back,” I sob, “I waited for you, Simon.”

“The Veil had closed,” Simon says and once again the familiar feeling of numbness overtakes. The Veil had closed? He… he wasn’t ignoring me?

“But- but the Veil keeps open for a week. That’s how it’s been the past few times,” I say.

“I thought I was the one who snoozed during Magickal History,” he says with a chuckle, “God, Baz, we’ve just been weirdly lucky. Coincidentally, it’s been a week for the past few Veil lifts, but it’s not a hard rule.”

“I…”

“Like, I’m pretty sure the Veil lifted for longer than a week when I met your mum. Don’t you remember that?”

I don’t.

I’ve talked to a lot of vampires here. They all said that at one point, you start to forget things. As I suspected, immortality does impact the memory. Some people have started transcribing entire conversations in thick books in order to remember things.

Well then, I suppose that somewhere in the many years, my memory has started fading. Luckily I know that I will not forget the most important things, like my family.

And Simon. It comforts me to know I’ll never forget Simon.

But stuff I was taught in school? Yeah, that makes sense. Apart from Simon, Dev, Niall, Bunce and Wellbelove, I don’t think I can remember my other classmates pretty well. I mean, I think Bunce had a dryad as a roommate, but that’s it. (Right? That, and she was a lesbian.) (I’m pretty certain about the lesbianism, not about the dryad part.)

Unfortunately, this particular piece of information would’ve been handy to have.

“Do you know beforehand?” I force myself to ask.

I can feel Simon shake his head.

“No,” Simon says, “Once I go back to the other side I realise whether or not it was my last day of that particular time. When I’m back in the afterlife, if that’s what you wanna call it, I can sense how the Veil works, but not while I am here. The moment I realised our window had passed, I panicked.”

“Why?” I sound bitter. I can’t help myself. To him, all of that shit happened yesterday.

“Because I knew you’d spend the next twenty years hating yourself for what happened.”

Well, he isn’t wrong. I loathed myself.

“But I’m here, Baz. I’m sorry.”

“I should be the one who’s sorry. I was awful,” I say.

“You were,” he says with a laugh. Tosser. “But again, I forgive you. I understand. But I also think you’re wrong.”

I frown.

“You don’t want to die. Not really,” Simon pushes me from his chest so that he can look at me. He has that determined look in his face. He used to look at me like that when he kissed me for the first time. “You’re immortal, but not immune to shit. You could’ve killed yourself, but you didn’t.”

I didn’t.

And I’ve been tempted. I refreshed my memories on vampire killing spells. I’ve stood too close to open flames. I ‘forgot’ to drink several times.

And I’m still here.

I let out a sigh. I’m still here.

“I wanted to see you, love,” I start and I reach to hold his face, “Simon, I live to see you. I can’t imagine my life without you, even now. You’re the only thing worth living-”

His cold hands hold my wrists, stopping me from cupping his face and kissing him.

“Cut the poetry, Baz,” he says sternly.

“But-”

“Uh-uh!” he puts a finger on my lips, “Let me talk, Baz. I’ve been thinking a lot about our fight – and before you make a comment about the passage of time, let me remind me that it passes differently for me, so simultaneously a lot of time and almost no time at all have happened.”

I nod.

Right. I knew that at least, but since I don’t live that time, I don’t really know what it means.

“Baz, this can’t go on. This isn’t healthy. You cannot keep living to see me, you need to actually live!” he basically pleads. He’s this close to begging on his knees, or so it seems. Oh how the tables have turned. “And I think you want to live, but you just cannot move on.”

“I could never,” I immediately say. I agree with him there.

Simon looks like he’s about to cry.

Maybe he is crying, sort of, in his own way. Visitors cannot cry.

“That’s the problem, Baz,” he says sadly, “You can’t die and part of you clearly doesn’t want to, but you can’t call this living. The fight has shown that and I won’t allow it any longer. You have to move on. You have to let me go.”

He says that latter part with so much urgency in his voice and it feels like someone’s slapped me in the face.

“Baz,” he stares right into my soul, or so it feels, “Let. Me. Go.”

My mind catches up with what he’s saying and I yell out a tearful “No!”

I’m once again the one pleading, begging on my knees. How can one man (or ghost?) reduce me to this? He’s still holding to one of my wrists and when I try to reach him with my free hand, he also puts a firm grip on that one. He won’t allow it.

“No, love, I cannot do that. Do not ask that of me.”

“I’m not asking,” he says solemnly, “I am demanding.”

Suddenly, I fall forward. My face hits my carpet and I let out a grunt.

Simon’s gone.

--

Luckily, he’s back the next day.

I’ve had some time to think about it and I stand by what I said. I cannot let go of him. How can I, when he’s the only source of joy in my life?

The moment Simon appears, I tell him that. I have all my arguments written down. I read them aloud from my screen (I miss paper. It’s more dramatic to flip a page than to scroll down a screen.). I don’t look at Simon while I do so.

It’s a ten minute long monologue and he doesn’t interrupt me at all, for which I am glad.

When I’m done, I give him an expecting look.

“This is bullshit, Baz, and you know it.”

I cannot keep it calm and collected. I managed to stay cool during my plea, but the way he dismisses it immediately breaks me.

“What’s changed?” I ask again and my voice cracks, “Do you no longer want to see me?”

“I always want to see you,” Simon says and he sounds so sincere that I believe him, “I really do. I enjoy these Visits as much as you do, Baz, and if I were selfish, I’d let this go on for all of eternity.”

“We have all of eternity,” I quicky say.

But he shakes his head.

“No, Baz, one day I must go on. And so do you. Again, selfishly I don’t want this to stop, but I have to do this. I didn’t get time to explain properly yesterday, since I got pulled back, but let me explain. I love you, and I need you to listen.”

I swallow my retort. I nod.

“When’s the last time you’ve told me something new? It’s always the same when I’m here. Sure, some details change, like one time you work at an university and the next in a library, but your life is nothing more than half-arsed friendships, your work, and waiting for me. Where are your epic vampiric adventures? Where’s your literary scientific breakthrough? Where are your badass vampire friends? You have a life, but you’re not living!”

“I live to-”

“See me. Yeah, I know,” Simon says with a deadpan voice.

That’s the thing that gets me. When he says it like that, it sounds pathetic.

I am pathetic.

I want to argue with him. I want to protest him. I am mentally writing another speech. But he’s also right. I am a hundred and fifty-eight years old and I have achieved absolutely nothing in my life. It’s been hundred and forty years since Simon died, the world’s changed all around me, and I have barely noticed it. Sure, I adapt to things like paper almost ceasing to exist, or wearing clothes of materials that were discovered recently, but I could’ve done so much more. I had the chance to be at some points that have gone down in history.

But no, instead I lived a basic life with a nine-to-five job, shallow relationships and a flat in Las Vegas.

It’s a good life, really. My jobs are enjoyable and even though I don’t have meaningful relationships, it’s also good enough to have friends I only see to have drinks with. And I love my flat! It’s good, but as Simon points out, it could be better.

Still, I resist.

“I don’t want anyone else,” I say to him, “I cannot move on from you.”

Simon has a contemplative look on his face.

“Maybe I should rephrase it,” he says slowly, “Move on without me, not from me.”

“What?”

I see no difference.

“You don’t have to fall in love with someone else,” he says and he even seems happy at the prospect (hypocrite), “If you do, that’s fine, but if you’ll keep loving me until the end of time, that’s fine too. You don’t need to see me to still love me.”

“But then… what do I do with my life?” I ask.

Okay, yes. Pathetic.

“Do what you’ve always wanted to do,” he suggests.

“All I’ve ever wanted to do was wait for you!”

That’s the whole point of this! If that weren’t the case, then Simon wouldn’t be here.

Simon shakes his head. He has a sad look on his face. Circe, I really am killing him with this. Or well, I am making his death worse. I can’t really kill him again.

“Then do what I’ve always wanted to do.”

I tilt my head in confusion.

He elaborates.

“You have a life. I don’t. I died and I never got to do what I wanted. Granted, as I said, part of me always expected to die young, but still I wish I could’ve done more. Maybe you can do that for me.”

I blink a couple of times. I think I get it.

“As in… I need to finish your bucket list?”

“I kicked the bucket before I was able to make one, but yes. Yes, you need to do that for me.”

--

The entire time the Veil is lifted, we spend time creating the perfect bucket list for me to complete.

I am fighting myself over this entire situation. When I write down Simon’s suggestions, I have to force my hand to move. All of me tries to protests, but I also know this is no use. Simon’s enthusiastic despite the circumstances. He really wants this for me.

He wants me to move on.

He wants to move on himself.

The end is near.

The end of all of this.

It’s as if the universe is aware of this cruelty, since the Veil stays opens for longer than one week. Is the universe trying to make up for the previous shorter Visit? (Does the universe even care?) (It feels like it doesn’t.)

Despite the circumstances, I still love the fact that I get to see him.

But this Visit also has to come to an end. Simon can feel it. He tells me so.

Simon kisses my forehead.

“I’ll see you in twenty years, babe,” he whispers. Once again, I shiver. Even his voice can feel so cold sometimes.

“You’ll be back?” I ask hopefully.

“Yes.” Then he looks over his shoulder and he stares at the bucket list. “Please finish it before then. I love you.”

And then he disappears.

--

End notes: Thank you @facewithoutheart​ for helping me out with this idea. The reason I got stuck on this fic for over a year is because I didn’t see a way out other than “Baz kills himself” and I didn’t know I wanted to go there, but Christina came with the idea of Simon encouraging Baz to find new meaning in life.

Additionally, I also want to thank her for confirming that the line “I kicked the bucket before I was able to make one, but yes.” works.

#story: time after time #snowbaz #carry on #simon snow series #holy fuck I wrote #2022 #multichaptered

[ceciliatan]

How BDSM is Like Frozen Yogurt

So, I'm reorganizing the way I handle my blog(s), email list, Patreon, and social media. I'm going to crosspost a monthly "news and notes" across all platforms. It'll typically open with what I call "Thinky Thoughts," followed by the "news" of where I'm going, where I've been, what I'm working on, and what's new to read. Previously this material was scattered across my various social media and then usual compiled in the newsletter, with sporadic posts at Patreon as well, but now that I'm about to start posting more fiction content to Patreon, it made sense to streamline the rest. This post is the first full "news and notes" update I'm putting on my main blog at ceciliatan.com (and onto Tumblr and Medium and everywhere else it crossposts like LJ, Dreamwidth, Goodreads, etc!). Wherever you're reading it, welcome! Come hear my tale of WHY it is that I'm about to start posting more to Patreon, and how the answer relates to the issue of How BDSM is Like Frozen Yogurt. (If you've already read my newsletter or patreon update, this is the same stuff...)

In this newsletter:

- Thinky thoughts: How BDSM is like Frozen Yogurt - New free read: "A Novel is An Empathy Engine" at Uncanny - Book rec: Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki - Upcoming appearances: ICFA! Nebs! Etc! - Talks are live on YouTube now! - WIP Report - Photos from recent travels - Daron's corner

Thinky Thoughts: How BDSM is like Frozen Yogurt

First a quick note about masks and COVID at cons: I just got back from Capricon in Chicago, and a few weeks back we had Arisia here in Boston, right in the midst of a COVID surge. Both cons required masks, and both cons have reported minimal spread afterward. Arisia only 8 cases out of 1200 attendees. Every time I post about this, people try to send me links to studies showing that "masks don't work." Of course, these same people aren't interested in seeing the studies that show masks DO work. What seems evident from the cons I've been to over the past two years is that if you have a science fiction convention with a mask mandate, you get low (but not always zero) spread, and if you have no mask mandate, you have dramatically more cases. If you're a mask skeptic, I would think of it this way: Maybe that's just because the "mask believer" behavior is less risky in all respects while the "no more masks!" crowd is more likely to carry COVID, not because of masks per se, but because of other behaviors? The cause doesn't actually matter, only the results, and so net result: I will be preferentially attending the cons that require masks. The other mitigation strategy I've been employing at cons which I'm really enjoying is this: when I want to have a "let's catch up" meal with someone at a con, instead of going to some noisy restaurant or bar, is having them up to my room and getting either room service or ordering some form of delivery food. It's quieter and we can actually catch up with fewer distractions! And post-COVID, my brain can't handle distractions as well as it used to! And with post-COVID life on my mind, I am now attempting to re-focus my career on my self-publishing efforts. There are a few reasons for this, but one is definitely a feeling that time is finite. The COVID infection I had in September probably shortened my lifespan and/or my brain's useful working years remaining. And I have a LOT of stories I still want to tell. Another is that it's become clear to me that right now the big publishers are just not that into me. The "kink fad" is over for them. But in indie/self publishing, the readers are still there. If you haven't heard me gripe about it elsewhere yet, The Vanished Chronicles is not going to come out from Tor, even though they've had the series under contract now since Obama was president. I got reassigned to a new editor a while back, and she's not enthused about it. So the rights are coming back to me, and I will be putting the wheels in motion to self-publish in the future.

HOW BDSM IS LIKE FROZEN YOGURT Do you remember back when there were exactly two places you could get frozen yogurt and they were knock-offs of each other? TCBY and ICBY: The Country's Best Yogurt and I Can't Believe it's Yogurt. The main place you would find TCBY and ICBY was in airports and in mall food courts. I don't know which one came first, but the point is that they were a staple in these big capitalist slots for decades. They were basically like soft-serve ice cream, but made with yogurt, which was nominally "health food" but whatever. Then in the early 2000s, here in Cambridge, MA, a company started up called Berryline (their two stores were along the Red Line T, one by Harvard and one by MIT) with the concept that they wanted frozen yogurt that actually tasted like yogurt (much more sour) and not faux ice cream. They quickly had lines out the door and expanded to a third location, etc. Capitalists took notice. This area is known for incubating successful chain concepts, and quickly a whole passel of copycat chains began proliferating across the country. Pinkberry, Red Mango, Yogurtland, 16 Handles, and more and more. The peak came around 2012... right around when the 50 Shades of Grey hype was exploding. Kinky books had a similar trajectory. For decades there were a couple of stodgy, reliable outlets for them: Blue Moon Books and Black Lace among them, which could be very reliably found in the chain bookstores like Borders, Waldenbooks, and Barnes & Noble. They were the ICBY and TCBY of BDSM books. But upstart publishers like Circlet Press, and romance publishers who were starting to dabble in kink, showed there was upward movement in the market, then the 50 Shades boom happened, and all of a sudden every big publisher was acquiring kinky books. When my book Slow Surrender hit the market was at the peak of this boom, which is why that book was sold in Target, alongside Christina Lauren, Sylvia Day, Tara Sue Me, et cetera. But of the ten (TEN!) fro-yo places that tried to open in my neighborhood during the boom... ZERO of them are still in business. Even the Berryline store that had opened a few blocks from my house has closed. Does this mean people don't like frozen yogurt anymore? Not at all. There are still a few shops doling it out to dedicated customers. But the craze for it is over. And the craze for BDSM and kink among the big publishers is over. Does this mean readers don't want it anymore? No. There are still thriving readerships for both queer and het BDSM, but the authors who are doling it out are back in the indie/self-publishing spaces for the most part. So that's where I'm redirecting my energy now. Into my own books and my own efforts. I took a workshop recently, offered by the SFWA romance writers subgroup, about writer burnout. They asked, when was the last time you really felt energized and lit up by your work? When was the last time you really felt on fire for it, like you couldn't wait to get to the computer to write? For me, that feeling was when I was juggling serializing The Prince's Boy and Daron's Guitar Chronicles simultaneously while I was writing Magic University. Far from feeling "burned out" by all that work, I was waking up every morning with writing ideas, and going to sleep every night thinking about my characters. So. It's time I leaned in to my queer and kinky stuff again, time to listen to my muse and not try to chase a Big 5 trend. It was nice to ride a capitalist wave for a while, because that's what got me out of credit card debt and onto a decent financial footing really for the first time ever. And it would be great if another publisher wanted to throw a lot of dollars (or Euros) at me, but for now I should be concentrating on controlling my own creative and financial future. CHANGES TO THIS NEWSLETTER & PATREON What that means is I'm getting organized to start serializing some of my works in progress through my Patreon. My plan is to keep sending out this email newsletter once a month, but I'll also crosspost it to Patreon (where there is now a free "follow" function) and to my blog(s). I expect to begin a weekly serial on the Patreon within the next couple of months. What I haven't figured out yet is WHICH of the back-burner projects to serialize first. One entire book of The Vanished Chronicles is finished and in the can, but I'm letting my agent solicit a few other publishers about that before I do anything with it myself (but I'm expecting it'll come back to me). I also have a very queer cyberpunk novel that has been in the works for over 10 years. And a "trapped in a game" series that would be ideal to serialize. And so on. I will probably run a poll next month asking for which to do first! People also keep asking me for book recommendations! I'm going to try to read more, and try to recommend at least one book per month in the newsletter. Thanks for reading this newsletter whether you are getting it through Mailchimp or on one of my other platforms! (Please consider getting it through Patreon if you're not as they seem to be the best at bypassing the spam filters...? They have some secret sauce!)

New Essay

I have a new essay up for reading at Uncanny Magazine! It's entitled "A Novel Is An Empathy Engine." My previous essay at Uncanny ("Let Me Tell You...") goes viral every few years when some new crop of MFA students discovers it and gets their minds blown. (It's a rant about how "show, don't tell" is bad writing advice and details how that belief works against both sf/f as genres and anyone writing from a marginalized point of view.) I figured there was no way I would be able to replicate that virality, so I just zeroed in on a topic near and dear to my heart, which is fiction as a tool (possibly THE ONLY proven effective tool) for building empathy. While many writers, going all the way back to Aristotle (!) have spouted that fiction is good for the soul, we actually have a lot of proof coming out of cognitive science that both people's urge to empathize and their capacity for empathy are increased by reading fiction. Read the new essay here: "A Novel Is An Empathy Engine"

Watch more talks online!

By coincidence, I had two separate talks go live on Youtube this past week! - "Death to Show, Don't Tell!" This was a talk that partly grew out of that old Uncanny rant about "show, don't tell." I did it a while ago for Writing the Other, where K. Tempest Bradford, Rebecca Makkai, and I spend an hour absolutely trashing the old saw. WTO finally released it into the wild for all to see. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZUYNz5bSik - The other was the event that I just did with Ann Bannon, the "Queen of Lesbian Pulp" put on by the Rare Book & Manuscript Library of the University of Illinois Champaign-Urbana. The recording is now up for anyone who missed it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeyaveFkFXQ - Finally, my Writing the Other master class on Writing Bi/Pan Characters is now available on demand. Folks can pay to watch it anytime. https://writingtheother.com/on-demand-bisexual-pansexual-master-class/

Book Rec!

I'm still kicking myself I didn't get a selfie with Ryka Aoki when we were on a panel together at Arisia on "Writing with the Rainbow." (Along with Elijah Kinch Spector, JR Dawson, and Sacchi Green). Knowing that the panel was coming up, I bought the ebook LIGHT FROM UNCOMMON STARS intending to read it before the con. I actually didn't manage to start it until after the con though, which is just as well, or I would have spent the whole panel gushing at Ryka about what a great book it was. LIGHT FROM UNCOMMON STARS is a little hard to describe, because the book biz wants to make very hard divisions between "science fiction" and "fantasy" -- much the way many people insist on making very hard divisions between "male" and "female," and then when an example comes along that doesn't fit their neatly labeled boxes, they get angry and try to pretend it doesn't exist. Very fortunately, people did NOT pretend this book didn't exist, and instead embraced its madcap mix of space aliens who run a SoCal donut shop and violinists who sold their souls to the devil. The book garnered a Hugo finalist slot and won the Otherwise Award, and it is a DELIGHT to read. If that's enough to convince you, just go read it and discover the book's delights for yourself. (I get a kickback if you buy through either of these links: Amazon - Bookshop.org) What I loved about this book is that all these disparate elements felt like they came together very organically. There is classical music nerdery in spades (you guys already know about my fandom for TwoSet Violin, right?), and a trans coming of age story, and heaps and heaps of Asian diaspora representation. The "representation" felt much more natural to me here than it did in "Death by Bubble Tea by Jennifer Chow, a cozy mystery I also read recently (Amazon, Bookshop). Both books are set in Southern California and have a lot of scenes set in Asian-family owned restaurants and food establishments. Part of what feels different between them might just be I am not as much of a mystery reader as a science fiction reader. I liked Death by Bubble Tea almost in spite of how it felt a little "paint by numbers", but I LOVED Light from Uncommon Stars.  Content warning: Some trans readers may be triggered when Katrina experiences misgendering and abuse in the course of the story. Ryka Aoki is a trans woman and presents a very clear-eyed view of what Katrina goes through, neither sensationalizing it nor downplaying it. Ultimately this is a sweet book with a lot of healing in it, though. 

Works in Progress Report

The Vanished Chronicles, as I mentioned above, is not going to come from Tor after all. I know, I know. We came SO CLOSE to book one, Initiates of the Blood, being released in 2018 that we handed out tote bags and swag at the RT convention featuring the book's cover. I know this will be disappointing news to some of you who are waiting for it to come out. Now that it's coming back to me, the title of the book and what format it appears in are up for grabs again. I am expecting I will serialize the chapters on Patreon, for paying patrons only, unless my agent finds another publisher willing to cough up a lot of dough for it. I was never in love with the title "Initiates of the Blood," so we'll probably be trying to cook up a new title. What a Man Wants was a short story I wrote a while back for the Ladies of Trade Town anthology edited by Lee Martindale, but it always wanted to grow into a novel, and I played with expanding it into one a few years back, but projects under contract took priority. Read the full article

[ditloe]

5/365

January 5, 2023

GAMES. GAMES. GAMES. That’s all I did today. Woke up late today (11am) which meant that most of my day was already gone. I just have to enjoy my free time while it lasts... classes are going to start up soon again and I am not ready to go back. 

Sartaj said he reached Diamond 5 in OW last night which made me want to play games all day. I hit Plat 2 which is my best support rank so far and I’m ready to climb up! I know I can be a Diamond player, but sometimes I’m just not lucky with good teammates. I actually went off on a gamer today because he was upset I wasn’t pocketing him. I tried to explain myself, but he chose to not understand the situation and why I couldn’t pocket him at that very moment. Some players are just so brain dead it’s ridiculous. 

My brother stopped by today but couldn’t really say hi to me since I’m still in isolation. My mom and I seem to not be in good terms or well it’s just awkward right now. I don’t feel like talking to her really, so I’m not too bothered by it. Hopefully once I am no longer contagious, things will go back to normal (still salty about the financial aid thing oh well). 

My Apple watch seems to be broken or bugged because it wasn’t counting my steps earlier when I took a mini break from games. Even just now I tried it, and it wasn’t working. Hopefully it’s just buggy and needs to be reset. Currently updating my phone right now and then I’ll try to reset my watch afterwards. I am actually very late to doing my steps for the day. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to hit 10k before 12. Really need to stay disciplined and get it done. It’s my only form of exercise while I’m stuck in quarantine. 

I got a little upset at Chris today because I asked the Discord group if he was talking, and I just couldn’t hear him. Guess he wasn’t talking and just didn’t say anything for a bit. Then he finally said “Trust me. You’ll hear me when I talk.” It was very aggressive, and I did not appreciate that from him. I knew he was feeling insecure at that moment after asking, but he didn’t have to be so harsh with his response. I know to not bring it up anymore. It reminds me of things such as slapping his butt (which he hates so much). He always tells me to stop even with a serious tone sometimes and I get upset because what happens when I don’t do that? It’s kind of my form of showing love or that I’m comfortable with you. Once I stop, it may mean I don’t care about you or the relationship anymore. BUT I know that’s a life and I’m being dramatic, but it does cross my mind sometimes. 

I actually found out that I am still eligible for COVID pay! I saw the code on my timecard, so I’m hoping that’s true. I cannot afford to lose money so early in the year. 

Probably will be sleeping late again.... I kind of want to watch You on my projector so I can be comfy in bed while watching since I’m usually at my desk. We’ll see how I feel as the night goes on. 

Steps: ? (Apple watch is going through some things. Hopefully it’ll be fixed by tomorrow)

[resilientcourage]

Boundaries

“The Devil Made Me Do it”

These are the words he said the next day, the morning after I was choked out and beaten up-punched kicked. I was so numb I played it out to be like a crazy numb person pretending to light the apartment on fire. It was a scare tactic to leave me alone. He left because he thought I was crazy. Was I crazy? I was a victim of abuse-I was numb from all the bruises and pain physically and mentally. I couldn’t feel anything. I was at shock and my mind and heart was not willing to accept the fact that someone I loved did that to me. 

This was the excuse he gave to hurt me to cross my boundaries. The devil made me do it? So it was okay to do what he did? Thinking about it now, it gives me anxiety that a man can find excuses to do such hurtful things that are such a disrespect. Its made me realize that that’s not what I want at all.

Tonight I was triggered and I had to take deep breaths to calm down. The last relationship I had ended right before my birthday. In all honesty, I’ve dug deep of why I really ended it.  And this post will use that scenario as a reference because I was not at all respected that night and I almost died (I am not at all exaggerating).

I had been dating him for a year this past Aug 11. We had taken a trip to Oregon just recently and I was a bit on edge because there were homeless every where. Before the trip we had been having fights to where him and I fight bad. And the last before we broke up before my birthday, we were on the verge to break up and really didn’t want to it was like one of those dramatic scenes.  Where him and I were saying our goodbyes and crying in each others arms. And we couldn’t let go and we both promised to fight better. Moving forward after that, he got really busy with work and I tried my best to be very patient.

But the more he worked and he got COVID and then I went to Vegas and got COVID we weren’t  able to spend any time together. And even when he would call me it wouldn’t be about us he would talk all about work like the whole conversation. By the time I could tell him how my day was, he was already tired and wanted to go to bed. This was an issue for me especially spending quality time is my love language.  So I was patient. So after that when we went on our trip that’s when things changed.

He became to comfortable that he became lazy. He kept leaving it up to me on what to do in Portland.... what time and etc. There were times when I was doing certain things and he told me to do it a certain way. And I told him “why are you telling me what to do? why can’t you just let me be me? I don’t do that to you!” Then we had an argument and I told him to not talk to me because I’m mad. To please give me space.  And he straight up goes on me without my permission. It doesn’t matter if I didn’t react or anything. He still did it without my permission. And then he felt bad after. And that’s the thing he always would regret doing something.  That’s not the first time.  And then there’s the fact that I totally let him into my life and he hadn’t at all.  I don’t care if you don’t even see your family yourself. We had been together for a year.  And you’ve met my family!

The icing on the cake where I knew I couldn’t even be friends with him was when he couldn’t even text me “Happy Birthday”. So I told him how I felt. And all he said he was sad he couldn’t spent time with me on my birthday and left his phone in the car. WTF he couldn’t even say Happy Belated Birthday.

So now I’m totally triggered by everything and there is not going back. Because of the fact he has so many damn excuses for everything. And if he have excuses for these small ass things who knows what it would have been if I stayed in the relationship. I think it would have been worse to the point he may hit me or abuse me mentally and come up with an excuse. He would always regret his actions and say sorry.  And since I’ve been in an abusive relationship, he isn’t good enough. There is no effort just laziness and lies. Since he didn’t respect my space, I’ve lost respect for him. Because he said “Sorry but you didn’t fight or tell me to get off” -NO that is not a good excuse or reason. I’M DONE.

[anathemafiction]

Hello, everyone. It feels like it's been forever. In a way, it was for me. I missed being on this blog, I miss you guys more than I can properly explain.

This will probably sound dramatic, especially when it hasn't been too long since I made a post about how relieved and happy I was that my health scare was just a scare and life can go on. The post will read like a roller-coaster, but honestly, a roller-coaster is exactly what I feel like I've been on.

Truth is, I have not been doing well.

That's probably an understatement, the last two months were, without a doubt, the worst months of my life. I don't want to go into too many details, but that health scare turned out not to be the only one. And while I'm alright now, while despite a couple of non-serious issues, I logically know that I'm healthy, I can't say the same for my mind. My mental health is in shambles.

I can't quite explain what it feels like to be trapped in your mind as if you look out of a mirror and you hear yourself talking and you see the faces of your friends and family, but you're not really there, and there's a knot on your throat, and you're sinking deeper and deeper into a hole you can't see a way to escape.

There are no words because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

I am... So much better now. I've been writing again and God, it feels so good. I can even read again, get attached to my books again. I'm back to exercising and food has taste again. I feel present when I'm going on hikes with my dog or I play with my cat. I've been neglecting them a bit, and that's a guilt that will probably stay with me for a long time.

And when I hug my friends and my parents, I really feel them now. I'm not outside looking in any longer.

This is all to say that I'm better. I'm not quite 100% there yet, and I think that, for the first time in my life, I'll seek professional help. I don't ever want to go back to the place I was. Hopefully, a therapist can help me make sure never to slip up again.

I'm sorry for the long, rambling, way too much personal post. But some of you have been on this journey with me for years now and I... I don't know, I felt like I wanted to share this. The Rose has been on pause, another thing I regret, but I couldn't write, I just couldn't. I can now, and I'll be back with progress reports and snippets soon. I really do love making those. Anxiety robs you of what you most love, and I think that's the cruelest part of it all. Illness that robs you of your happiness.

I'm sorry again. And please, believe me when I say that I sincerely hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you're all well and happy and living life as it's meant to be lived. To the full.

I'm going away for a little bit, to refresh my mind. And later next month, my hope is to travel to see my brother and sister - but with the worsening of the covid situation, I don't know if I'll be able to. I miss them so much, what a cruel world it is that you find yourself thousands of miles away from the ones you most love.

So I can't promise I'll be very active in the month of December, but I'll try. And in any case, I'll definitely be fully back in January.

In the meanwhile, April is closer and closer. Book One feels so far away right now, like a thing of the past, but it isn't. It's coming and my dream to have something published is coming too. I cannot wait to share it with you all, I can't wait to be able to talk openly about it again. I know I've faded to the background, as have my characters and this world I've built, but they've never been in the background of my mind. And when the game is finally out, I hope they won't be in the background of yours.

Much love, sincerely, Ana ♡

#personal #all the best <3

[teddy06writes]

Can I request a Sapnap x Karl x Quakity x Y/N ? I just like polyam ships and your Sapnap x Karl x Y/n just made me want more

Ee hee, thanks for the request

Sapnap x karl x reader x quackity (THE PEOPLE ARE ENABLING MEEEE)

trigger warnings: swearing, panic attack

premise: you and your boyfriends are out shopping/ trying to get kicked out of a target when you run into your asshole ex, when he starts to bother you your boys take care of it

(y/n/n)- your nick name

(also we’re pretending covid isn’t a thing)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“(y/n)! We are gods!”  

You turned at Alex’s call, snorting upon seeing he and Karl T posing while standing in the target cart, Nick balanced on the front, also t posing.

You laughed at your boyfriends, quickly taking a picture before Karl started to wobble and fall, “You guys are ridiculous.”

“Yup!” Karl grinned as Alex helped him out of the cart to avoid falling.

You shook your head, quietly putting the picture onto your twitter with the caption, ‘look at these nerds <3′

“You guys are gonna die from idiocy some day.”

“Not when your there to save us.” Nick countered, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“If anything they’ll get dragged down with us.” Alex scoffed.

“Tragically,” You muttered, “Did we actually come here to do anything but solicit?”

Karl giggled, “Well I thought we were just terrorizing the people of Target.”

“The only thing we actually needed was more notecards.” Nick reminded helpfully.

You smiled, “At least one of you is useful.”

“Hey!” Alex protested, “We’re useful too!”

“Sometimes.”  Karl giggled again.

“Betrayal!” He gasped dramatically as Karl threw his arms around his shoulders.

You rolled your eyes, “Well, if your useful too then, help me find notecards.”

Alex sighed dramatically, grabbing one your your hands and intertwining your fingers, “If we must.”

Karl grinned, hopping back to sit in the cart, “Lets go then!”

Nick rolled his eyes, muttering something about being ridiculous, before moving to the push the cart, you and Alex moving along beside them.

~~

A half hour later found many random unnecessary but still necessary items piled into the cart around Karl, and note cards had still not been found.

You were hallway through the seasonal section when you sighed, “Alright this is taking too long, I’m going to actually get the note cards, I think they’re just down there, try not to break anything.”

Karl chuckled, “No promises.”

You smiled and headed out of the isle, towards office supplies.

“Well, well, well, (y/n), fancy seeing you here.”

You froze in the middle of grabbing the biggest package of notecards, trying to keep your hand still as you turned, “John,,, uh hi?”

Now, John wasn’t the worst person, no your relationship wasn’t necessarily bad, but towards the end it definitely took a turn for the worse. When you’d first brought up breaking things off he was, less than thrilled, leaving the last few weeks of your relationship a battle field of screaming matches that consisted of little more than his yells.

“It’s been a while.” He smiled.

“Uhh, yeah, it has been.” You began to fidget with your fingers, eyes darting back up the isle towards where you’d left Nick, Alex and Karl.

“Let me guess, still single?” He laughed, “Yeah it would make sense, I’ve only pulled like one person since you.”

You glanced down, “Uhh, no actually.”

John frowned, letting acid drip into his voice, “Oh, I guess the were right when they said you always moved on fast.”

“It- it- it- it’s been a year and a half?” Your attempts to keep your voce steady began to fail, “And, I’ve only been dating one of them for a few months.”

-It was true, Alex had been the last one to join your relationship a few months ago-

His eyes narrowed, “You’re not telling me you’re still on the stupid polyamory thing are you?”

You cleared your throat uncertainly, “um, y- yeah, I have three boyfriends.”

He rolled his eyes, “There's no chance you’d ever fucking pull three people. Hell you barley even managed me.”

Your gaze stayed trained on the tile floor, unspeaking.

“It’s clear you haven’t moved past fucking your way into a relationship.”

You bit your lip, tears welling in your eyes as your breathing quickened, deep down you knew it wasn’t true, as a group you all respected Karl’s asexuality, even once, over some late night conversation of cuddles and lazily traded kisses, going so far as to promise that the relationship would remain entirely romantic if it made him more comfortable, and it had.

Still, there was a nagging in the back of your head, telling you that John was right. There obviously was only one reason they kept  you around.

“That really is a shame,” You felt his hand rest on your shoulder, “I know I would stay with you for more than that.”

“Get your fucking hand off of them or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it!”

You were simultaneously relieved and flooded with more anxiety upon hearing Nick’s voice.

“Who are you?” John asked skeptically.

“Their boyfriends, who the fuck are you?” Alex spit.

He laughed, dry and harsh, “So you’re the fucking idols who thought you could get away with dating (y/n), not that I care their very-”

“No, you shut the fuck up!” Nick cut him off before he could say anything else advancing up the isle towards him, “Why the fuck are you bothering them?!”

They continued a back and forth exchange, as you slowly slid down to the floor, nails pressing tightly into your palms, breathing far too fast.

“Hey, hey, (y/n/n), (y/n/n) look at me.”

You opened eyes that you didn’t realize had been screwed shut to see Karl kneeling sitting In front of you, looking worried.

“Can I touch you or no darlin?” He asked softly, almost making you forget the yelling happening only a few feet away.

You bit your lip, quickly shaking your head, the tiny seed of doubt John had planted in your mind starting to grow.

“Okay, that’s fine. Can you breath with me? In for seven, hold for 4 out for 8, yeah?”

After a moment of trying to breath in sync with him, you held out a hand, and understanding Karl took it, moving to pull you into his arms, “In for 7, out for 8, just like me alright?”

You all but melted into his touch, doing your best to breath normally again.

“Get the fuck outta here man!” Alex yelled.

“You’re gonna regret this.” John sneered.

“No,” Nick said firmly, “Your gonna regret messing with our partner if you don’t fucking leave.”

After you heard footsteps hurrying away you felt Alex settle on your other side, “You alright baby?”

“Their starting to breath normally again.” Karl reported, running a hand through your hair.

Nick sat down on Karl’s other side, and you all stayed sat on the floor of the offices supply isle, Alex sending death glares to anyone who tried to ask you to move.

Eventually you sat up, sniffing.

“Who was that?” Nick asked softly.

“My ex.” You murmured.

“Why was he bothering you? What did he say?”

“Stupid stuff,” You muttered, rubbing at your eyes, “C’n we go home now?”

“Of course Darlin.” Karl assured, standing up and turning to help you up.

~~

Later, back at the apartment, after everything had been put away, you all ended up in a cuddle plie on the couch, and that seed of doubt was beginning to shrivel with every pass Nick’s hands made through your hair, every small circle Alex absently traced into your palm and every tiny joke Karl made about the movie playing.

“Guys?” You asked softly.

“Yeah?” Alex asked.

“I love you.”

Karl grinned, “We love you too.”

Alex pressed a kiss to your knuckles in understanding and Nick  hummed in response.

The tiny seed of doubt was gone.

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagines #karl jacobs x reader #quackity x reader #quackity imagines #sapnap x reader #sapnap x karl x quackity x reader #sapnap x karl x reader x quackity #karlnapity #karlnapity x reader #poly #teddy06 writes #sapnap x Quackity x Karl x reader

[italeean]

The best cure for an emo mode

Based on this masterpiece by @skribblz​

During a volleyball match Bokuto gets into another emo mode and there's only one thing that can bring the optimistic ace back

NOTE: Ciao, scusate se questi giorni sono un po' sparita... (Hi, sorry if I kinda disappeared these days) unfortunately I got covid and yesterday I wasn't in my best mood. Now I have some symptoms, but I've been through worse experiences, so I should be back on track, also because I've got a lot of free time in isolation lol. I hope you enjoy the fic!! Support and/or suggestions are always appreciated 💚🤍❤️

DISCLAIMER: This is a tickle fic, if it's not to your taste I don't suggest you read it

Set

SPIKE

whistle

OUT!!

This was the fifth time that Bokuto missed his line shot, he'd been nailing them the whole week, so why now nothing went as he wanted?

When his hair began to lower, his temmates predicted what he was about to say. 'Guys...' he began 'DON'T TOSS TO ME ANYMORE!!' he declared dramatically. Hearing that, the Fukurodani players sighed and resumed the game as always. However the ace showed no sign of optimism during the whole set, which they lost.

The ace used the break to go to the restroom and Akaashi, being the kind and generous friend and boyfriend he was, followed him straight away. He found him moping on a toilet (he didn't even bother to close the door). 'Are you okay?' asked the second year. 'AGASHIII!! I NEED IT!!!' whined Bokuto. 'R-right now, Bokuto-san?' the setter couldn't believe that his boyfriend chose that moment to ask for that. They only had few minutes before the game restarted!

Bokuto, however, knew how to persuade him 'Pleaseee' he said with the cutest tone of voice. 'Fine... but only two minutehehehes nohoho waihit' the ace didn't waste even a second and got to work, digging softly in his lover's sides. One may think that he needed to be made laugh, but in reality, the thing that always got him out of his emo mode was Akaashi's laughter.

'Hehehehehehe are you hahahahahappy nohohow?' the setter tried to ask 'Not even close' Bokuto answered, then he went to his ribs ad underarms, going back and forth between the two spots. Those weren't as ticklish as other parts, but the ace couldn't wear Fukurodani's brain out, so he kept it soft.

Despite his non-aggressive approach, Akaashi was quickly reduced to a puddle of giggles, which were the most endearing sound in the world for the third year.

'Timehehehe's up! Wehehe gottahaha gohohoho' Bokuto stopped right after hearing those words, feeling better than ever. 'You are great, Bokuto-san. Let's prove it to the other team, too.'

The second year knew exactly what his boyfriend needed to hear, in fact, the taller guy had the biggest smile ever and exclaimed 'YESS!! LET'S WIN THIS MATCH!!' and then he went back to the court, announcing himself with his typical 'HEY HEY HEEEEY!!' to let everyone know that the ace was back. Akaashi was right behind him, smiling fondly at the sight of his lover being cheerful and back in shape.

TIMESKIP

'HEY HEY HEEEEY!! WE WOOON!!' Bokuto yelled nothing but that the whole way home, followed by a quiet setter. After the overwhelming victory, the ace invited the second year at his place to celebrate. Obviously ordering take-out to avoid a dramatic turn of events involving Bokuto and the kitchen.

After coming back home, the couple waited for their dinner to arrive and chatted a bit to kill some time. Surprisingly enough, the match was the main topic. Akaashi didn't really mind, on the contrary, he was glad to see his lover so passionate about what he did. What they both did. What brought them together.

'...and have you seen my last spike? I think it was the best ever and it made us win the match!!' well, clearly the shorter one had seen it, since he was the one who tossed the ball, but he didn't give it much thought and answered 'Yes, it was perfect'. 'And it's all thanks to you the ace concluded. Feeling a bit romantic, he lifted Akaashi's sleeve and placed a tender kiss on his shoulder. What neither of them expected was the squeak that followed the sweet gesture.

'What was that?' Bokuto asked genuinely curious. 'U-ummmm... nothing...' the setter was already blushing. He himself didn't know his shoulders were ticklish.

'I KNOW, I KNOW!' uh oh... the third year had a smug look in his eyes and he was way too excited for Akaashi to feel safe, which is why he tried to dart straight to the bedroom and lock himself in, but unfortunately his lover was faster and hugged him tightly and started lightly kissing the newly found spot, eliciting giggles and little squeaks, tha grew in intensity when he dared to give some nibbles.

The surprises didn't end there, though. When Bokuto's fingers accidentally grazed his lover's elbow, he jumped, giving away another ticklish spot.

'WAAAAHH AGASHIII!! YOU'RE TOO CUTE!!' the taller guy yelled, tickling him gently. 'EEP! I'm nahahahahat hahahahahaha' hearing that, the ace gasped and exclaimed 'What nonsense are you saying? You're the sweetest cutest boyfriend ever!! Here, I'll prove it to you'

The third year stopped the gentle tickled and picked his lover up bridal style. Then he proceeded to throw him on the couch and started squeezing his thighs.

'HAHAHAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHAT THEHEHEREHEHEH' it was surprising seeing a guy like Akaashi, who was usually composed, go ballistic like that, but his thighs were his death spot, so it couldn't be helped.

'Tickle tickle tickle...' when it came to making his lover realize how adorable he was, the ace knew no mercy. He squeezed, poked and scribbled every inch of the second year's thighs, enjoying every single moment and every single reaction.

'Are you ready to admit that you're the cutest guy who ever existed?' Bokuto asked teasingly. By that time, the setter's face was beet red and tears were forming in the corner of his eyes. However, he'd be lying if he said that he didn't like it at least a bit. 'IHIHIHIHI'M NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT CUHUHUHUHUTEHEHEHEH STAHAHAHAHAHAP'

His reply wasn't really appreciated by his boyfriend, who decided it was time to go for the kill. He manhandled his lover to make him sit on his lap and, without stopping the tickles on his thighs, he began smooching his neck, adding a few well deserved (according to him) raspberries and nibbles.

'NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHAHAP IHIHI GIHIHIVEHEHEHEHE HAHAHAHHA' the setter's reaction was instantaneous. 'You know what I want to hear...' Bokuto whispered too close to his neck, making him let out a girlish squeal.

'IHIHIHI AHAHAHAM THEHEHEH CUHUHUTEHEHEST BOHOHOYEHEHE EHEHEVEHEHER' Akaashi didn't want to take any risks and repeated exactly his lover's words.

Finally, the merciless tickling stopped and the shorter guy was wrapped in a warm hug. However, the moment was interrupted by a knock and a voice from outside.

'Ehmmm... excuse me? I heard yelling, it's everything alright?' oh no, Akaashi thought. It was the food delivery! How much did hear?

He didn't have time to answer his questions because Bokuto was already at the door to take the order and clarify any doubt. 'Thanks for the food' he began 'and don't worry about the screaming, my boyfriend is just too ticklish for his own good'

The way too honest answer left the delivery guy speechless and kind of embarrassed, so he left quickly to avoid the situation. Inside, Akaashi was just as flustered, if not even more. 'You really had to say that, didn't you?' he asked blushing. 'I didn't lie, though' was the ace's answer. 'Now let's eat, I'm starving!!' he added.

The two of them began to eat, but Bokuto didn't know that someone was already plotting revenge.

Luckily for him, said plans went south the moment Akaashi's head touched the pillow when they decided to go to bed and watch a movie. In fact, the setter was hit by all the tiredness of that day and his eyes started to close.

Maybe tomorrow... he thought, referring to his revenge.

Seeing him falling asleep so peacefully, his lover couldn't resist the temptation to place a sweet kiss on his forehead and whisper lovingly 'Sweet dreams Akaashi, I love you so much... even more than volleyball'

Maybe I'll let it slide just this once... was the last thought that crossed the setter's mind before drifting off to dreamland.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu tickle #bokuaka #ticklish!akaashi #lee!akaashi #ler!bokuto #tysm skribblz #LOOK AT THAT DRAWING #tickle fic #tickle

[oh-for-fic-sake]

It’s A Match Chapter One

Masterlist

Disclaimer

Summary: Filming is over and Henry returns home to and empty house. And he doesn't like it, things are getting to him and he doesn't want to be alone anymore. Then his brother suggests online dating, it sounds mad but henry decides to give it a shot. If worst comes to worst he just deletes the profile. He has nothing to loose right?

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Cheese, Self Indulgent Fic, Rpf, Plus sized reader.

A/N: so I wrote this before the whole 'girlfriend' shock and everything that has followed. I was of two minds whether to ever post it but honestly, this is my blog and I've clearly stated that i am going to continue writing Rpf. I want to do a little ficlet/mini fic and well here we go. It wont be smutty just  somewhat angsty then fluffy. Enjoy~

Taglist: In Reblogs.

Henry slumped back on the seat in his conservatory and sighed, from here he could see his brothers and their wives outside, each snuggled up on the out door wicker sectional he had got to have the family over. It was the first family get together for over a year. He was happy, god it was amazing to see them but... He couldn't help being a tad envious.

They all had a family, wife and kids to go through this shitstorm in. He had no one, well he ha Kal. But that was it he sighed and looked away sipping from his cup slowly takeing a moment for himself. He needed to just chill, but it was getting hard... This year had really knocked him back he was at an all time low he hadn't felt like this for a long time. He knew he was depressed, he felt stupid there was no reason to be but there we go.

Henry had been getting himself all twisted for a while now, filming the Witcher helped but now that was over and he was home alone. Left with his thoughts in a big empty house.

"Sooo little brother want to tell me what's going on or am I gonna have to get mum in here?" Henry jumped at the voice and spun around to face his brother who was keeping a safe distance at the door. Wiping his hands down clearly just having washed them again.

"I ah its nothing, you know me I'm a worry wart" he said waving off his older brother he didn't want to bring down the mood of the small gathering, it was why he had come in here to take a breather.

"You called us all here for a visit hen, out of the blue when lockdown is still being eased out. Its clear you don't want to be alone, yet your sitting in here alone." His older brother said leaning on the door frame folding his arms trying to figure out what was really going on. He could see his little brother was hurting he wanted to help.

"I've got Kal" Henry said with a chuckle and looked about for the bear only to frown and sigh seeing the room was empty apart fro  him and his brother.

"Kal's outside with the kids hen, what's up? You can tell me you know" henry sided as his sibling  moved sitting in the small seat across from him. He knew that his family would listen but he felt so... spoilt like he was asking too much and was being selfish. It wasn't like him.

He grunted leaning back choosing not to look at his brother instead focusing on the cup in his hand. He spun it slightly then heaved a sigh. He wasn't getting away with not speaking about it, he was going to air out his worries one way or another. With his brother or his mother, and he loved his mother but this was? He wanted to keep this issues close to his chest. So far only Kal knew about his problems.

"I... I've had enough... just had enough of fucking covid and being alone... i felt isolated before all this shit kicked off and now?" He vented releasing all the fears he had. It was tough, he was a family man without his own little family, he hadn't managed to find anyone to share his life with and it got to him. He tried being sincere and polite, he took care of himself and tried staying true to himself but... something was missing it had to be! On paper he was a safe bet a good man! Yet his relationships never worked. There were different opinions or his other half couldn't handle the life style or they tried changing him or they couldn't put up with the way he loved so furiously- so openly wanting to always hold and kiss them. It just never quite worked.

"Its- fuck everything has just caught up with me...worries I've had for a few years now I could ignore them you know? I had other stuff going on, was always out and about meetings and press tours I was busy! But now?" He tried putting his feeling into words but he was conscious, he didn't want to whine or bitch about his life. He loved his work and the life he had made for himself he just? Wanted someone to share it with.

"Now after covid you've got all the time in the world to think?" Henry nodded agreeing with his brother. Covid had made him face these fears head on. He has been alone for the best part of a year with the uncertainty of his work and filming quarantines and isolations.

"Yeah, it hurts I'm... I'm in deep and I? I don't know how I'm getting out of this slump" henry finally said outloud, his brother dipped his head listening to him as he ranted. Started letting out all the frustration and anxiety out but stopped short with another growl closeing his hand around the cup tightly hissing in frustration then looked away.

"And what's caused it? I know you hate being alone but?" Henry sighed shaking his head as his brother tried coaxing more out of him. He drew in a shaky breath wanting to cry, he was just so lost and upset over being upset and alone.

"Two lock downs... Two alone- I? If this carries on for the next few years I don't... I don't want to be alone anymore! I want to settle down, I want an actual personal life! A relationship a family and? How? How am I gonna find all that? They want fame or money or something! Women never seem to want me for me, they say the do then judge me for my hobbies- I'm a geek I like tech and games and fantasy! And women don't like that" he spewed the words like they were venom, half ashamed of being so dramatic but the fear was real. Henry was scared, he wanted love. He wanted a family of his own, and it seemed impossible, now more then ever.

"I want to meet someone who will take me as I am, for me and I just I'm giving up. I'm giving up on it I can feel it, almost forty and look, alone unmarried no kids-I have no one to share my life with, it hurts am I not good enough for that?"  He hung his head as he spoke the final words put loud. He felt so vain and full of himself when he said them out loud, his skin crawled.

But it was how he felt, being the muscular decent looking man he was didn't go with his personality. He was a geek and the woman who were drawn to him didn't want that. And the woman that shared his hobbies normally weren't confident enough to even speak to him. Society's views on acceptable couples had put Henry in no mans land.

"What about online dating?" His brother spoke up but Henry just grunted rolling his eyes frustrated.

"What? No I cant do that I'd be fucking swamped" he hissed in irritation frustrated at the mere suggestion of him trying to date online.

"Whoa hold your horses let me finish I mean come on Hen there's bound to be hundreds of shy sweet women on there, I mean girls that are into your hobbies and stuff aren't usually the ones out and about partying and stuff, so its more likely they will be online" his brother quickly explained before Henry could pop off on one and shut him down.

Henry opened his mouth and stopped himself. That was a good point. Many of the women he would click with weren't going to be in bars or fancy parties. They were normally shy and at home most of the time reading or playing games.

"I... You really think i could meet someone? Meet the one online?" He asked in a small voice warming to the idea. His sibling smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes little brother, your a down to earth guy, just make a profile and have a look, if you don't like what you see you can delete the profile" henry nodded slowly thinking it over. There'd be no harm if he failed well he'd be no worse off, a little disheartened but that's about it.

"Look write down a few things you want in your dream girl, have a pseudo name like fucking I don't know Hank! Or something and say your a runner on set or something" his brother spoke up quickly as Henry sat back and actually thought about it seriously. He was right, henry could tweak things and be careful about what he shared and if he did meet the one then she'd understand... He could explain the predicament he was in. That he just wanted someone who liked him for him. And he would only reveal himself to her if she was the one and he was sure she would understand. As long as he was himself and honest about everything else in his life then there was no harm... and if he used proper photos of himself just... half cropped out then? It wasn't catfishing? Because he was being himself just using the nickname his mother used to call him.

"O-okay so be myself but... Just tweak a few things? So they don't know its me?" He reiterated to his brother still trying to figure out the morality of this whole idea.

"Yes! No full on pictures, no photos of Kal either new photos henry not old, maybe of your eyes up or something? Girls love blue eyed boy- not your right that brown will give you away... you could even fuck em up with a behind the scenes character photo? I mean come on how many men use a superman photo for their profile these days?" He encouraged wanting more then anything to cheer up his little brother.

"I yeah... That could work ,thank you- I'm sorry I got so worked up it... Its just getting to me now" henry apologised but his brother shook his head and chuckled standing up to go back outside to the others that were all happily chatting in the garden.

"I know Hen, look just give it a go, you might be surprized... come on lets get back out there, after all you are the host~ you cant just run off and hide" henry grinned standing and following his brother. It was decided, he'd give online dating a go!

A week later Henry sat at the computer everything was ready, he'd taken some precise photos and had spent the last half hour writing a profile up. He had felt a little guilty about this... Was he lying? Technically it was him, he was going by Hank which was a nickname his parents gave him as a child, luckily this site didn't require a surname because honestly? He had no clue! To fend off some guilt he had thrown in a behind the scenes photo of himself as superman it wasn't much but it helped take the edge off. The other photos were cropped and there were a good few just so that the women knew he wasn't technically a catfish; he even did one with him covering half of his face with a piece of paper with Hank scrawled across it. At the time he felt silly but it helped with his anxiety over the whole thing.

He paused for a second eyeing the screen rereading the profile over and over trying to make sure it was alright and honest. And it was, he had explained a little about himself, his hobbies and interests and his job... Only brushing over he worked for the film and tv industry recently working for Netflix he hadn't exactly explained what he did but there was enough information.

With a deep breath he clicked the button his mouse hovered over going live with the profile. Now all he had to do was wait and hope he caught a good womans eye. Within moments a few profiles popped up, matches. He scanned them flicking through some of the profiles and felt his heart crack. They were all full of badly filtered photos and used slang that to be honest he didn't even understand. What was so hard about using plain English?

He growled growing frustrated clicking through what were clearly a bunch of wannabe sugar babies. Each profile had a main photo a little bit of info then a few more pictures added to them. He scanned each one quickly going through the motions judging each one. 'Too far away... Your clearly not even eighteen?... Oh you like dc? Really hate to break it to you but thor is not a dc character' Henry grunted as he bypassed what felt like hundreds of women each with their own 'duck face' selfie most advertising their Instagram pages some even ballsy enough to add their only fans pages.

'Wait a second who was that?' He paused and scrolled back up and eyed the image on screen. It was a face on photo a cute woman smiling uncomfortably. Unlike everyone else's there was no distorting blur or heavy editing, the only make up was in the form of eyeliner in a set of black slightly uneven cat eyes. A slightly skewed black flicks making a point of no editing on the photo.

She was a full figured woman with proper kissable round cheeks and a sweet nervous grin. Her eyes were what got him, they were kind and genuine he could see she was uneasy about the photo but she was beautiful. She lived about half hour away which wasn't to bad.

Henry clicked the profile and scrolled down she didn't smoke, drunk occasionally and had no children. She did however have a college education in animal care and ran a small business. Centred on dogs by the looks of it. He moved further down reading the profile.

Y/n, 30, business owner, e/c, 5'4, curvy

I'm shy so will take a while to warm up to you. A honest woman, sometimes to honest I don't seem to have a filter 🤗 I'm laid back and tend to be sarcastic and I love animals I'm a kc certified dog breeder as well as run a small successful business that caters to dogs. So if you are allergic or don't like dogs then leave now but thank you for clicking🙃

I spend most of my free time gaming or reading. I enjoy the fantasy genre and love dc and marvel (though I love dc just a tad more🤫)

I have one fur baby in the form of my lovely girl Amii who is a three year old malamute. Yes malamute not a husky or Akita so again if you don't like dogs or big dogs I'm not the girl for you.

I'm looking for someone to have fun and maybe build a life with. Covid has been tough being single and decided that it was about time I tried this whole online dating thing. If you want to chat pop me a message 🥰

I do not have a personal Instagram, snapchat or only fans! Stop asking for pictures!😠😠

Henry's face split into a huge grin. She seemed to good to be true. She was wholesome, successful in her own right and looked fun. She didn't seem to be full of kale and bullshit. Just genuine and? Henry couldn't put his finger on it but there was something drawing him to this woman.

True to her word there was no Instagram link, no only fans or snap chat or anything. He scrolled further seeing photos of her and the biggest fluffiest dog he had ever seen in his life. She was sitting down next to who he assumed was Amii her dog and he melted. Y/n looked happy and content, living her best life.

There was nothing that sent alarm bells ringing, no racey photos or 'Netflix and chill' innuendos. The profile was clean and genuine.  He was right the woman was a little chunky but extraordinarily beautiful. The curves suited her and made her look more... cheerful and he could tell she was strong aswell, you had to be to have a huge dog like that about you.

There were photos of her walking a large pack of dogs in the wood; that he recognised! They were the very same he took Kal to only ten minuets down the road, he even recognised the small logo of her company on the jacket she wore. He had seen dog walkers wearing the same jacket so he knew of her brand. I he remembered correctly the company offered dog walking, grooming and kennel facilities as well as offering Breeding services helping stud dogs and stuff. They also helped advertise registered breeders and took in rescues for rehoming. It was a brilliant little company that he had even used for Kal once or twice to get his teeth cleaned and nails clipped, because Kal was a bugger for his pedicures!

He moved further down seeing more photos of the woman a small section with the games and tv she liked. Witcher was in both the tv and games category aswell as peaky blinders, Vikings and a few other shows.

Henry paused as he saw the chat button. Should he? He but his lip twisting on the spot in he chair rocking from side to side. What harm is there? He could just send a message she looked like a fun loving woman, he shared the same interests and stuff... so why not?

His fingers hovered over the keys ready to type out the words. But he choked. His mind ran blank what does he say? Hi? I saw your profile? Does he ask for a date? What does he do?

He let his hands fall and growled. Then scanned over the side of the message bar seeing a few pre-typed responses.

'It's a match!' 'You look fun, lets chat' 'I like your profile picture'

He winced they all seemed... wrong? Somehow they were polite and all but it- they wasn't personal or anything just... not quite right. He looked down as Kal came padding over and slumped next to him resting his chin on his foot with a loud sigh. With that Henry had an idea typing away a little message and hitting send before he could really think.

You sighed typing away the latest wage slips and added up all the various overtime, you really needed some more staff on now that lockdown was coming to an end. Thankfully animal care was essential so you hadn't been hit too hard a few staff were on furlough as they were extreme high risk and shielding but you were going out of your way to make the premises covid safe. Luckily it wasn't too hard as much of the business was just a few staff and lots of dogs.

You frowned when a chat icon popped up in to corner of your screen. 'Hank?' You though trying to remember if you knew a Hank? Maybe a client or some old friend... but you honestly couldn't recall. You l saved your document and clicked the small icon bringing up a chat and frowned a you read the little message.

'I call my dog bear but he has nothing on Amii, Shes the fluffiest dog I've ever seen in my life she looks perfect for bear hugs😅'

'what the hell?' You cursed scrunching your nose up at the screen rereading the words. That's a bit random... you clicked his icon a small photo of half of his face then froze as a dating profile opened up. 'Oh... shit' you said seeing that your own profile you'd set up a few days ago out of curiosity had garnered the attention of the handsome blue eyed stranger. You swallowed biting you lip thoughts of finishing updating your records now gone as you scanned Hanks profile and a small smile crossed your face.

Hank, 37, works in the film industry. Blue eyes, 6ft, muscular.

Decided to finally try this online dating, unsure what to say other then I'm looking for a life partner. I like to think I'm funny and laid back. I'm fit and active but that doesn't mean you have to be, but maybe my lady could come for walks with me and my four legged son? I promise he's my best freind and a good boy.

My job is tough and I'm away for long periods of time, but when I'm home I like to play games and am into warcraft. I paint miniatures when I can. Fantasy and superheroes are a big part of my hobbies so if you don't like all things geek then I'm probably not for you.

But if they are? Then feel free to message me, I will reply when I can.

You read and re-read the profile And your hands hovered over your chicklet keyboard. Biting your lip, do you respond? He seemed sweet and real... if that made sense. You took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen? Asking for a plane ticket? You decided to take a chance and typed back a reply hitting send whilst you had your nerve and then flushed.

"And they say fluffy dogs only lure in women~" You giggled to yourself  moving a hand over the huge fluffy girl beside you giving her pets whislt thinking of a reply.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #rpf #henry cavill fic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill imagine

[isa-ghost]

How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶

Oookay unpacking this ask time.

Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.

1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)

2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!

I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.

The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.

I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.

HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.

But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.

And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')

I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??

Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?

#jacksepticeye #jse community #jse egos

[yurimother]

Yuri Quarantine Reading List

In times like these, when we are all doing our best to stay home, social distance, and protect our loved ones from COVID-19, we need a little bit of entertainment to get us through some of the longer days isolated in a room. Absorbing yourself in another world through books, games, and media is a solace for many of us during the pandemic. With that in mind, I reached out to anyone and everyone I could think of, from friends and colleagues to publishers and creators to ask, “what lesbian manga or anime is on your quarantine list” and they ran with it!

Note: some entries have been edited for space and to avoid excessive repetition

Seven Seas Entertainment – Manga and Light Novel Publisher

Kase–San and… by Takashima Hiromi (Manga): https://amzn.to/2KVLMOC

ROADQUEEN: Eternal Roadtrip to Love by Mira Ong Chua (Manga): https://amzn.to/3feTW2y

TOKYOPOP – Manga and Comic Publisher

Futaribeya: A Room for Two by Yukiko (Manga): https://amzn.to/2z4q0pi

Still Sick by Akashi (Manga): https://amzn.to/3c0n0ZD

Yuri Bear Storm by Ikuhara Kunihiko and Morishima Akiko (Manga): https://amzn.to/2YpglEm

J-Novel Club – Light Novel Publisher

Otherside Picnic by Miyazawa Iori, art by shirakaba (Light Novel): https://amzn.to/2L86XgF

Side-By-Side Dreamers by Miyazawa Iori, art by Malbeni Akane (Light Novel): https://amzn.to/3dcxzJb

Seriously Seeking Sister! Ultimate Vampire Princess Just Wants Little Sister; Plenty of Service Will Be Provided! by Hiironoame, art by Siso (Light Novel): https://amzn.to/2z9GUm8

Kuru – Creator of Mage & Demon Queen

I’m in Love with the Villainess by Inori (Light Novel) Licensed by Seven Seas

Hayate × Blade by Hayashiya Shizuru (Manga) – Partially Published by Seven Seas (License Suspended): https://amzn.to/2Ys8Tby

The Third Party by Enjelicious (Manhwa) – Licensed by Lezhin

ebi–hime – Creator of Rituals in the Dark and Blackberry Honey

A Little Lily Princess by Hanako Games (Visual Novel)

SHINRAI – Broken Beyond Despair by Gosatsu Visual Novels (Visual Novel)

Ari North – Creator of Always Human and Aerial Magic

Muted by Miranda Mundt (Webtoon) – Serialized on WEBTOON

Butterfly Soup by Brianna Lei (Visual Novel)

Mizuchi 白蛇心傳 by Aikasa Collective (Visual Novel)

Jocelyne Allen – Translator My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, Kase–san and…; Blogger Brain vs. Book

Uchi no Shisho wa Shippo ga Nai by TNSK (Manga) – Unlicensed

Even Though We’re Adults by Shimura Takako (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas

Kase–San and… by Takashima Hiromi (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2KVLMOC

Jenny McKeon – Translator Bloom Into You, Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid; Creator of Life in Translation

Hana and Hina After School by Morinaga Milk (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2ydTvVG

Secret of the Princess by Morinaga Milk (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/3f9GRrj

Verena Maser – German Translator Citrus, Bleach; Japanese Popular–Culture Researcher

Yuri Is My Job! By Miman (Manga) – Licensed by Kodansha: https://amzn.to/2xylD5q

“It’s quirky, it’s funny, and it has a great mix of characters. Just don’t read it when you’re hungry, there are too many delicious cakes …”

Sound! Euphonium by Kyoto Animation (Anime) – Licensed by Ponycan USA; Takeda Ayano (Light Novel) – Partially Published by Yen On: https://amzn.to/2Yvg2I0

Liz and the Blue Bird by Kyoto Animation (Anime Film): https://amzn.to/35D0Z0J

Molly Lee – Translator Adachi and Shimamura, Kokoro Connect

Sexiled: My Sexist Party Leader Kicked Me Out, So I Teamed Up With a Mythical Sorceress! by Kaeruda Ameko, Illustrations by Miya Kazutomo (Light Novel) – Licensed by J-Novel Club: https://amzn.to/3f8qbQO

Erin Subramanian – Translator Tokyo Love ~ Rica 'tte Kanji!?; Editor Boarding School Juliet

Ameiro Kouchakan Kandan (and associated spin-offs) by Fujieda Miyabi (manga) – Unlicensed

Oniisama e… (Brother, Dear Brother) by Tezuka Productions (Anime) – Licensed by Anime Sols; Ikeda Riyoko (Manga) – Unlicensed

Erica Friedman –  Founder of Yuricon and ALC Publishing; Editor The Rose of Versailles, Blogger at Okazu; Yuri Researcher and Tastemaker

Kase–San and… by Takashima Hiromi (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2KVLMOC

“This high school love story is honest and real in many ways and, in later volumes moves beyond high school. Yamada roots for Kase–san, Kase–san roots for Yamada, and we root for them both.”

Whispered Words by Ikeda Takashi (Manga) – Licensed by One Peace Books: https://amzn.to/2WlaJrX

“This comedy drama is largely overlooked on these kind of lists, but as a hilarious look at all the Yuri tropes at once it's funny, as a story about a star–crossed couple it's dramatic, and it has one of the finest endings ever in a Yuri manga.”

Our Dreams at Dusk: Shimanami Tasogare by Yuhki Kamatani (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2KXJ638

“This LGBTQ manga is real and beautiful in both narrative and art. Absolutely one of the finest manga I've read in years.”

Kim Morrissy – Tokyo Correspondent for Anime News Network; Translator From Truant to Anime Screenwriter

Murasakiiro no Qualia by Ueo Hisamitsu, art by Tsunashima Shirou (Light novel / Manga) – Unlicensed

Otherside Picnic by Miyazawa Iori, art by shirakaba (Light Novel) – Licensed by J-Novel Club

Sexiled: My Sexist Party Leader Kicked Me Out, So I Teamed Up With a Mythical Sorceress! by Kaeruda Ameko, Illustrations by Miya Kazutomo (Light Novel) – Licensed by J-Novel Club: https://amzn.to/35w5ZE3

Vrai Kaiser – Editor at Anime Feminist; Blogger at Fashionable Tinfoil Accessories

Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl by Canno (Manga) – Licensed by Yen Press: https://amzn.to/3da38TP

Revue Starlight by Kinema Citrus (Anime) – Licensed by Sentai Filmworks: https://amzn.to/2KRZJND

Serena – Anime Journalist, Blogger at The Lily Cat

Girl Friends by Morinaga Milk (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2KSuqCc

“This series has been my go–to yuri manga to read whenever I am at the airport waiting for my flight, waiting for dinner, the world is in chaos (like right now), and so on.”

Octave by Akiyama Haru (Manga) – Unlicensed

Alejandra “Alycans” Flores – Founder of Lilium Entertainment

SQ Begin W/ Your Tame (Tamen de Gushi / Their Story) by Tan Jiu (Webcomic) – Unlicensed

Hana to Hoshi (Flower and Stars) by Suzukin Kario (Manga) – Unlicensed

Poor Poor Lips by Goto Hayako (Manga) – Unlicensed (formerly JManga)

OG–Man – Blogger at The Yuri Empire

Moonlight Flowers by Tsugumo Mutsumi (Manga) – Unlicensed

Murciélago by Yoshimura Kana (Manga) – Licensed by Yen Press: https://amzn.to/2SybwET

Mage & Demon Queen by Kuru (Webtoon) – Serialized on WEBTOON

Riddle Story of Devil (Akuma no Riddle) – by Diomedea (Anime) – Licensed by Funimation; Kouga Yun, art by Minakata Sunao (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2W07ZkI

Ach – Blogger @yourschas

Her Tale of Shim Cheong by Seri, art by Biwan (Manhwa) – Licensed by TappyToon

Goodbye, My Rose Garden by Dr. Pepperco (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2z7yRq0

Whisper Me a Love Song by Takeshima Eku (Manga) – Licensed by Kodansha: https://amzn.to/2SzKnSa

Lena K. – Blogger at Yuri Reviews

Violet Evergarden: Eternity and the Auto Memory Doll by Kyoto Animation (Anime Film) – Licensed by Funimation

“It’s not true yuri… Nonetheless, I really, really enjoyed this title – the stunning art and animation, the beautiful characters and the heartfelt story simply made this a delightful watch for me.”

A Summer’s End - Hong Kong 1986 by Oracle & Bone (Visual Novel)

“The whole look, sound and feel of this title is out of this world”

Nicki Bauman – Yuri Reporter, Critic, and Researcher at YuriMother

The Conditions of Paradise by Morishima Akiko (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2WprNwT

Yuri Life by Kurukuruhime (Manga) – Licensed by Yen Press: https://amzn.to/3ffFHuf

MAY 15, UPDATE

If I Could Reach You by tMnR (Manga) – Licensed by Kodansha: https://amzn.to/3dSrNwv

Katherine Hanson – Blogger at Yuriboke

Bloom Into You by Trocya (Anime) – Licensed by Sentai Filmworks; Iruma Hitoma & Nakatani Nio (Light Novel Spin-off) – Licensed by Seven Seas; Nakatani Nio (Manga) – Licensed by Seven Seas: https://amzn.to/2WmveEL

A Summer’s End - Hong Kong 1986 by Oracle & Bone (Visual Novel)

Thank you to everyone who contributed to this list!

Have you been reading some Yuri recently? Did we miss a true gem? Let everyone known in the replies!

Read the unedited lists, including extra recommendations cut for space, exclusively on the YuriMother Patreon.

The article contains affiliate links, which give us a commission at no additional cost to consumers

#yuri #essays #article #list #top 10 #covid-19 #lgbt #their story #bloom into you #kase-san #lgbtq #otherside picnic #lgbtq+ #queer #girls love #gl #gay #wlw #to read #literature #reading

[sunnysidefangirl]

Awaiting (Jungkook x reader)

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Warning: talks of anxiety, not 100% edited sorry, will probably go back to edit more later

Summary: reader goes to a concert and is transferred on stage when they see their soulmate.

A/N: This idea was inspired by @alpacaparkaseok ! Their soulmate stories are really good and since I have never seen that certain trope be done before I thought I should credit where I got the idea from! Go read their fics, they are seriously amazing! Anyways please don't plagiarize, I spent a lot of time on it so don't be rude! Copyright ©! Also imagine Covid is not a thing! Please like, comment, and repost if you liked it! I hope you enjoy! 💜

*****

You have to admit, you didn't believe it when your friend told you they had front row tickets to a BTS concert. Concert tickets are hard to get, let alone front row seats.

"Thank you!" Your friend said with a smug smile. She happily took the $30 dollars from your bet. You saying they were fake and her insisting they were real.

"Yeah, whatever." You rolled your eyes as the line moved closer to the entrance. The line was long but you and your friend were lucky enough to get soundcheck.

"I'm going to be Jungkook's soulmate, I can feel it." You heard a confident voice say. You wanted to roll your eyes at the adult that bragged her idea to the armys around.

When it comes to the artist you were going to see the only thing fans know is Jin has already found his soulmate but nobody knows their name, let alone what they look like. Other than that people assume the other members just haven't met theirs yet.

It was odd to hear those genuine thoughts. They travel the world and have yet to meet their soulmates from a concert.

Sure, it was a nice thought especially since Jungkook was your bias, but realistically he's probably not your soulmate.

You've imagined more than once what it would be like to meet your soulmate. You secretly hoped it would be somewhere in nature. A park, or on a hike, or over looking a lake. It just seemed like it would be a great experience, to meet the one made for you in beautiful scenery.

However you were probably a little a head of yourself, more than likely you would meet them through work or walking down the street or something minimal like how most people do.

In the blink of an eye, you were in the stadium. You and your friend got settled in your ideal spots close to the stage. Then the two of you fell into an easy conversation.

"So when you go to visit your soon to be mother in law you won't look like a totally idiot for not dressing like the cookie monster-"

"Uh uh oh uh uh ooohh."

Your conversation interrupted by the opening of the first dance number of the night.

"Oh my gosh, it's them! If I faint will you catch me?!" Your best friend asked, dramatically clutching her chest. She stood on her toes to get a better look, as if the front row just wasn't enough.

"No promises!" You shouted with a wide smile at the stadium got louder.

•••••••••••••

The concert was going great! You were having so much fun dancing and singing your heart out with the random people you had met beside you. That song ended and another one began.

When you looked up Jungkook was making his way down the stage with Jimin just behind him. His microphone was raised as he sang the bridge of the song. He turned to your side and looked at the audience. When your eyes locked everything seemed to zoom in on him alone. You got tunnel vision and he was your only focus, just as you were his. He couldn't pull his eyes away from you if he tried.

A sensation of gravity shutting off came next. You felt weightless and could no longer feel the floor below your feet. Then you felt as if you were being pulled, more like yanked, to your new destination. You choose to close your eyes as the motion got to be too much.

Jungkook didn't understand what was going on but he got the feeling that the world around him was spinning. The last thing he wanted to do was alarm the fans but he couldn't help but close his eyes as he stumbled over his own feet.

"Jungkook?" Jimin questioned placing a hand on his left shoulder. Did he suddenly get sick or something?

The feeling went away as quickly as it came, leaving a dull feeling of confusion. He opened his eyes just in time to catch something falling forward, that something was you.

Suddenly the face you had seen over your computer and phone screen, the face you had seen in magazines and commercials for as long as you have been a fan was less than a few inches in front of you. His dark brown eyes were big with shock and wonder and the sides of his face were slightly dampened due to the energetic choreography he had just done. The sea of army bombs created a mini galaxy in his eyes.

At first you thought, wow he looks so handsome.

Then you wondered wait, how did I get onstage?

Your mind seemed to catch up with you. You took notice that you were in fact on stage and in front of Jeon Jungkook. Could it be a possibility that it was the night before the concert and you were dreaming? This couldn't be real.

You felt your heart leap and an unintended gasp left you. Jungkook's mouth dropped a little bit and his own eyes widen in realization. The tall man helped you so that you were standing straight and took a small step back. However, he couldn't quite let go of you instead he kept his hands wrapped around yours.

The melody continued on without the maknae's voice. This caught the attention of many fans and the other members. They were all confused when the didn't hear Jungkook's voice. Luckily his part wasn't long and Jin quickly began to sing his own part.

You tensed within his hold and a feeling of happiness and dread filled you. Taking a look around the stage, you first saw V tap J-Hope and point in your direction. Namjoon was currently rapping his verse but that didn't stop his eyes from widening as well. Jimin who was behind Jungkook grinned at you. Suga had took notice of the situation as well with Jin neither of them knowing how they could fix this. That left every member either looking at you or doing their best to pretend nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

It didn't seem to be working because the audience started to get louder. You question for a moment if it was always this loud for the members onstage. It was hard to understand anything with all the noise but you caught a little bit.

"Look that's Jungkook's soulmate!" A voice closest to the stage squealed.

It was real. It was all real!

You were horrified. This moment, one of the most intimate moments between two soulmates has been seen by hundreds. It's probably been recorded by now. For all you know it would be on Twitter by tomorrow. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. You dreaded the thought of this private moment on social media for days to come.

Namjoon was quickly making his way over to you with a security guard as well.

Everything was moving so rapidly you just wanted to get out of this situation. You wanted to disappear. You began to realize you were breathing quicker than normal.

"Hey." A voice said so soft, you almost didn't catch it over the screams in the stadium. You look back to Jungkook only to meet the softest gaze you have ever come across. He looked so gentle towards you.

"It's okay."

He rubbed his thumbs over your skin attempting to calm you down and a shy bunny smile spread across his face.

"What's your name?" He asked with an excited glint in his eyes. Before you had the chance to respond a hand wrapped around your bicep.

"Come with me miss." The security guard said in urgency. Namjoon appears just a few seconds later and stands next to Jungkook. Just as you were being pulled away a strong grip stopped you.

"Wha-Wait." Jungkook mutters tightening his hold causing you to look back at him. He just met you, how could he be excepted to just let go of you?

"Jungkook, you can see her later but we need to get her off stage." Namjoon says in a stern voice towards the youngest.

Jungkook noticed the fearful look in your eyes and it made his heart ache. As much as he wanted to go with you so he could make sure you were okay he knew that your safety comes first. He then released your hand and in the blink of an eye you were ushered away from his sight.

The security guard took your arm and adviced you to keep your head down. You only looked ahead of your shoes not making eye contact with anything except the glossy stage floor.

When you got backstage everything passed by in a blur. People came up to you from all areas. They got you a bottle of water and lead you to a separate dressing room. You held on to the water bottle tightly, allowing it to serve as your anchor in all of this chaos.

"Wait here." The nice lady said with a small smile before closing the door. You took a careful breath in before gently letting it out. The room was bigger than you expected maybe that was because you were the only person in it. There were couches around making a U shape. Against the wall was a table of food and drinks, and as tempting as they looked you wouldn't dare grab one. The room was brighter and colder than it looked in behind the scenes videos.

Now alone in the quiet room you felt like you could breath a little bit.

You racked your brain with what to do now.

Jeon Jungkook was your soulmate.

Where do you go from here?

What about your best friend? She's freaking out no doubt.

Would it feel weird seeing as you were a fan?

You would just have to get to know him all over again. Learn his likes, his dislikes, and start as simple as possible. As you dig farther in your own thoughts you started to feel anxious.

Would he want to be with a random fan?

You honestly thought you were pretty, but what would others think? You know you shouldn't care but if he doesn't like the thought of you two together that would be another type of pain.

•••••••••••••

Intermission had finally started after another 4 songs. Jungkook practically flew pass the staff backstage once he found out which room you were in.

He rushed to the room that he was directed in but stopped short of running into the door. He stood stiff like a brick wall and took a deep breath. His soulmate was on the other side.

His soulmate.

He only saw you for a bit but his heart quickened at the thought of you.

He had wondered of this moment for a long time. Occasionally when the stress of life got to be too much he found himself dreaming of spoiling his soulmate and treating them like royalty. He would stay up wondering what their date nights would look like and what their love language was.

The other members knew how much of a hopeless romantic Jungkook was. They would often tease him whenever his head was in the clouds, they never took it too far though because they all secretly thought it was really sweet.

Jungkook thought about how he used to ask Jin about the meeting of soulmates and how it felt. He stopped asking after a while because of Jin's vague answers.

"I don't know, it just feels like...your being born."

"It's a warm feeling."

"You feel free...I guess."

"Jungkook-ah you'll know when you meet them!"

He had given up asking his hyung about how it felt to meet your soulmate. He tried to ignore any questions or thoughts of it but that was before he saw Jin cooking with his soulmate.

The look in his eyes while having his special person by his side warmed his heart. Jin's eyes gleamed with a distant euphoric look in them, it's a look Jungkook can't forget.

He wanted to feel that too.

You looked up at the sound of the door opening. Jungkook shuffles towards you in a daze. His eyes wet and red. You sprung to your feet suddenly feeling bashful and a little ridiculous under his intense eyes.

If you would have known you were going to meet your soulmate you would have dressed up a little more.

....maybe you wouldn't have worn your cooky headband.

He wordlessly took your hand once more. You allowed yourself to enjoy the unique feeling. His hand was very soft and a little warm probably because he was just dancing his heart out onstage. Your hands mold together and you swear electricity rushed through your veins. The room was silent as the two of you were deemed speechless. What do you say to the person you were waiting for all this time?

"Are you okay?"

When you look up, you see him blink down at you.

You grin at him and sheepishly nod. Jungkook let's out a small sigh of relief before smiling back at you. He lowers his head looking down at your connected hands. The ghost of the previous smile still on his face.

He looked so beautiful in this moment. You let your mind wander as you take in his features. Were you everything he dreamed of? Where do you go from here? Would you stay here? Would you go back home? Maybe you were getting ahead of yourself. Would you even start your relationship now?

You jumped out of your intermonolouge when you felt something wet on your hand. Looking down at your intertwined hands you saw a small tear.

"Ah," He mutters using his other hand to wipe his face. The embarrassment he was feeling showed through his pink tinted cheeks.

You were stunned. You never imagined that your soulmate would be choked up at this, at you. However it made your grin wider and your heart swell with adoration. You took a small step closer but not by much. You raised your hands to his cheeks allowing his tears to be caught by your thumbs. Jungkook noticed you were hesitant in your actions. He was just glad to have you so close after all this waiting. Jungkook leaned into your touch as a sweet gesture.

You were never told what it would be like to meet your soulmate. Sure, you heard classmates and co-workers talking about their own experiences, however the most common description was that it was a wordless feeling. One that couldn't possibly be capture in a few words.

Now you understood.

Looking into his big galaxy eyes, you felt breathless. It felt like, you could search every planet in the universe and you still wouldn't find anyone like him. Your heart felt like it was craving his but also wanted to shy away from the bizarre feeling. How could you put a word to such an intense emotion.

Jungkook's eyes suddenly catch something above you and his smile widens. "I like your headband."

You let out a small laugh at his comment feeling your cheeks warm. "Day 1, and you're already teasing me."

Jungkook squeezes your hand and holds it with his other, making it so your hand was in between both of his. He held your hand so cautiously, like it was a precious jewel.

He then looks to something else behind you. You turn around and see his six older brothers looking at him with fondness.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt but we need you back on stage." Jin says. He hated to interrupt this moment. It reminded him so much of when he had found his soulmate. He just wanted to spend all of his time with them and to pull Jungkook away when he just met his just made him feel bad.

"Oh right..." Jungkook said a little hesitant. He look back at you, his eyes showing a range of emotions. "You will wait here won't you?"

"Of course." You respond without hesitation.

Jungkook gave you another bright grin before he followed his hyungs out of the door.

You found out later through social media, that while Jungkook was onstage he began to cry.

"I-uh..." Jungkook paused looking out to the sea of fans, that despite everything he wanted to share this moment with them.

"I just found my soulmate."

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I hope you enjoyed! Please comment and reblog if you did!

💜💜💜

#bangtan #bts fluff #bts jungkook #bts soulmate au #soulmate au #bts fanfic #bts fantasy au #soulmate fic #jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #bts oneshot #jungkook imagine #jungkook oneshot #jungkook headcanons #bts army

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛: 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝑭𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓

Warnings: Some suggestive scenes are contained here.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

"Baby....no."

Hongjoong placed a hand in front of his face in an attempt to stop you from kissing him. Prying your hands off his neck, he tried to get you off his lap, but you only whined and clung harder onto him. Hongjoong wasn't very amused.

"Honey this has got to stop sooner or later."

You pouted as you grinded on his lap.

"Joongie.....don't you wanna make a baby with me?"

Hongjoong bit back the moan that got caught in his throat as his hands gripped your hips to keep you from moving.

"Baby stop. I'm not going to give in anytime soon."

"Oh. So you're willing to make Seonghwa a baby but not me?" You huffed and got off his lap, arms crossed as you angrily slumped down on the couch.

Hongjoong sighed as he turned his chair to you. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he silently prayed for help to deal with you.

"Babycakes, you know I love you and I'd adore to see you carry my child.."

Your eyes lit up at his comment.

"But we're too young right now to think about that. Let's wait a few years ok?"

Standing up, he sat down next to you before brushing his nose across your neck. Chuckling lowly, he whispered in your ear:

"And then I promise you, I'll fuck as many babies as you want into you."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Seonghwa had annoyed you so much with his baby fever that the unthinkable happened:

You yourself caught it. Now you were watching baby videos and reading all about taking care of a baby, even bought a baby book name that surprised even Seonghwa when he found it in your bag.

"Babe? What's this?" He asked as he held the book up.

Walking shyly to him, you startled him by wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your nose against his.

"You win. I want to make a baby with you."

Seonghwa had to hold onto you because he nearly fell down.

"Wait....are you serious? Don't play with me. "

He became ecstatic that you finally gave in. Wasting no time, he hoisted you up and carried you to his room, eager to get started right away. Unfortunately for the both of you, Hongjoong came back early and walked in on you two.

"Ahhhh!"

He screamed as he dashed out of there, covering his eyes and bumping into Jongho who had just came back.

"Oh? I take it Seonghwa Hyung and Y/N are still making a baby? Ok. I'll just leave again."

"They're trying to what?!" Hongjoong marched back into his room, closing the door behind him.

"Well first time Seonghwa is gonna get scolded in Hongjoong's room." Jongho sipped his juice and decided to stay to see how it would unfold.

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

Yunho didn't know how much more he could take before he snapped. You kept begging him and pestering him with baby related things, and he of course adored kids. But one of you had to be the responsible one and remind the other that you were both too young for kids.

"Kitten, you know as much as I'd love to see you walking around with a swollen belly full of my kids, you know we can't."

You pouted at him and he couldn't help but pout back at you.

"Kitten please don't pout. You know I can't stand to see you sad." He cupped your cheeks and wiggled your face side to side slowly.

Not yet wanting to give up, you made the most adorable puppy eyes you could muster, knowing he was a huge sucker for them. Yunho widened his eyes when he realized what you were doing.

"Kitten- no! Don't do this to me! That's not fair!"

You didn't listen and instead leaned in to place open mouth kisses on the side of his neck, occasionally purring softly. Yunho didn't stand a chance. You were using all his weaknesses to your advantage and he was one thread away from breaking.

Sighing softly, he pulled you away to look at you.

"Ok. We're going to try one time. Just one time! Got it?"

You nodded eagerly and began placing tiny butterfly pecks all over his face.

"Ok ok. But if it doesn't work out, promise you'll drop it." He poked your nose, looking at you with a serious expression to get you to understand.

But deep down, you both knew it wasn't going to be a one time thing only.

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

"Yeosang! I need you to see-"

"Nope!"

Not even giving you a chance to tell him what it was, Yeosang quickly left his seat on the couch and went to the kitchen. It had been like that for the past week, your boyfriend had been avoiding you like you had the plague. You couldn't help but complain.

"You're right honey. You don't have covid. You have something much, much worse."

Leaning in, he gently pinched your nose bridge before whispering:

"Baby fever."

Gasping dramatically, he held a hand over his mouth, pretending to be shocked. You on the other hand, were getting tired of his relentless teasing and ignoring you.

"You're so mean Kang Yeosang!" You stomped away, leaving him there to laugh at how cute you were.

For the next days, you started ignoring Yeosang, instead opting to keep your baby fever to yourself. You were watching a video on your phone. Yeosang had been next to you, wanting your attention, but you refused to budge.

"Baby..." He tried snaking an arm around you.

"Unless you're talking about giving me a baby, I don't want to hear from you."

Scooting away from him, you plopped onto your stomach and resumed watching your video, but not before looking over at Yeosang and saying:

"Jerk."

Yeosang bursted out laughing. He wasn't giving in anytime soon, but he didn't mind you dragging it on. It was much more entertaining than he'd ever believe it would be.

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

San coughed out some of the food he was eating.

"You wanna what..?" He wanted to make sure he heard you right.

"I want a baby." You happily told him.

San wiped his mouth with a napkin, thinking of what to say next.

"Damn. Baby fever really got you bad didn't it?" He ran a hand through his hair, trying to find the words to soften what he'd say.

"See Y/N the thing is..."

When he looked up and saw your hopeful eyes and cheerful smile, his words were lost. He hated telling you no, but he had to at this moment. There was no other option. You were both young.

"Honey wouldn't you rather wait?"

You immediately pouted, letting out a tiny whine before perching yourself on his lap.

"No. I want you to get me pregnant. I wanna carry your baby."

San gulped slightly.

"Damn....not gonna lie, you probably would look pretty adorable with the extra weight on you..."

As you leaned in and placed tiny kisses on the corner of his mouth, San could feel his resolve weakening. He couldn't stop thinking about you looking all round and chubby with a swollen belly. And he sucked in a breath when he thought about fucking you raw. He was just about to give in, when he saw Byeol come out.

"Perfect! Honey! Why think about having a baby when we already have one?!"

You looked to where his finger was pointed at and when you saw the feline, you frowned.

"Byeol isn't a baby and she's been mean lately."

San laughed as he got up to retrieve her.

"Nonsense! She is totally a baby and she's the nicest-"

Byeol let out a menacing meow and scratched San's arm to escape his grasp, dashing down the hall.

"Byeol get back here! I am trying to prove a point!"

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

"Mingi....." You walked up to him, hands fumbling with your sleeves.

"Yes love?" His eyes were all on you, waiting for you to say something.

"Can we....can we have a baby?-"

"Oh my God! Yes! Yes! We absolutely can!"

You shrieked softly when he just picked you up and kissed you.

"You know I love kids and I can't wait until we have one of our own."

He started walking to his room to get started, but you two were stopped by the 98 liners.

"Yes you can and you will wait." Hongjoong sternly said.

From that day on, neither of you two were allowed to be alone, the others were afraid the second they let you two out of their sight, you'd be all over each other.

"You guys are mean." You whined, annoyed that you couldn't spend a date night alone with Mingi.

"We're not mean Y/N. We're protecting you both from a horrible decision." Jongho stated.

"Yeah think about it. You really wanna have kids with this?" Yeosang gestured to Mingi.

"Hey!" Mingi smacked him.

"What's wrong with wanting to have babies with Mingi?" You huffed.

"You're dating him! He's practically a baby himself!" San exclaimed.

You and Mingi both looked at each other. You suddenly cooed.

"You are baby!"

Mingi blushed before mimicking baby noises as he raised his fist and cutely punched the air, making you squeal at how cute he was.

"Someone hold me back before I break them both." Jongho stood up.

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

Wooyoung was not having any of your shit. Just because you had baby fever, didn't mean he was gonna let you try and infect him.

"Wooyoung-"

"No!" He'd immediately reply, not wanting to hear anything you said because lately all you talk about is babies.

He even went as far as forbidding you to touch him because he knew you'd try to get in his pants and rile him up. So for safety precautions, he'd carry a spray bottle.

"My sweet and handsome boy-"

You screeched when you felt the spray of cold water on your face.

"Back! Back away! I won't hesitate to bonk you upside the head with it!"

You growled at him before snatching the sprayer away from him and giving him the same treatment.

"Whoah ok! Stop it!"

Wooyoung began screeching as you chased him around the dorm with the bottle. San came in at that moment, looking at you both before taking the water bottle away.

"No weapons in the dorm." He reminded you.

"It was for self defense! This woman is crazy trying to get me to have kids!" Wooyoung exclaimed.

"Well you know what?! Maybe I don't want some loud annoying brat like you as my baby's father.."

You looked over at San and suddenly got an idea. Wooyoung noticed your smirk and did not like it at all.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It."

You didn't listen though and blurted out:

"San? Wanna be a nice friend and give me a baby?"

San widened his eyes.

"I mean......sure...I guess?"

Wooyoung let out a piercing scream while San covered his ears and went to his room, Wooyoung trailing behind him, accusing him of betraying him and threatening to end their friendship when suddenly he stopped screaming. Wooyoung came back out, a large satisfied smile on his face while San came back out, holding his beloved cat in his hands.

"Here. You can have my baby for a day if you want."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

Jongho shook his head yet again.

"Y/N, this has to stop. Baby fever isn't contagious and I'm not going to get it like you did."

You grabbed onto his arm when he tried to walk away.

"But Jongho! I want to have a baby!"

Leaning in, Jongho smiled and winked at you.

"But you already have me. I'm baby."

He laughed at his cute little joke but you weren't. Your arms wrapped around his neck. Jongho sighed, staring straight in your eyes with a serious look to get his point across.

"No means no Y/N."

He got startled when you nuzzled his neck, and tensed up when you began kissing where his mole was.

"Pu-pumpkin...please d-don't do this." Jongho groaned, trying to pry you off him.

He absolutely melted when you began whimpering, not being able to resist the tiny noises escaping from your lips.

"Jongho....please.."

As soon as he heard you begging, he was done. His arms lifted you up and he pressed you against the wall. His lips immediately attached themselves to yours, kissing you hungrily, hands roaming your body.

"Fuck being the baby anymore."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez dad au #dad!ateez #dad!au #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho