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#i have a shit ton of anxiety and/or stress
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Heyyyy so remember how I said the COSMIC pronoun copies would stay the same??? Hehe...
#okay BEAR with me here#yes the backstory and the dialogue and the ultimate plot points YES absolutely#buuuut we literally saw will physically shut down and close himself off when a girl came onto him ON TOP of the#'its not my fault you dont like girls' comment and basically everything else and yeah#so remember how i said i have kind of a half formed olan#*plan#well#guess who knows a shit ton about comphet babeyyy#like just imagine will and y/n being so excited to see each other again but being back after so much time apart they dont realize why#they are suddenly kinda stressed#like the butterflies are getting harder to distinguish from anxiety#bc of all that time apart neither of them really realized how freeing it was to not have to hold hands or kiss or 'meet an expectation' of#a relationship even though they do truly love and care for each other#and for some reason all that hugging and giggling and contact is suddenly so easy with their other best friend who#thanks to the absence- has had a whole *different* kind of effect#finally will gets to see and hug mike and finally y/n gets to see and hug el and VICE VERSA#meanwhile the other copies (he/him for sure) just stay the will byers course maybe with a little byler angst sprinkled in#idk idk we'll see we'll see 😏 vol 2 will tell#cosmic#f!cosmic#you'll float queue#stranger things spoilers#stranger things 4#edit: just fyi this isnt set in stone but its something ive been heavily considering for a while now and i wanted to warn yall#things would be adjusted as far as titles if i did go that route like it would say 'eventual el x reader and eventual byler' & add#a thing about comphet and even update the descriptions but we can cross that bridge if we get to it#point is i honestly think it would be a great thing to have cause when i was younger reading stories like this i never saw wlw or mlm#content in reader inserts and of i even a bit of exposure again i think it would have been so healthy for me
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eleanorbloom · 9 months
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fakeoutbf · 1 year
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mars-ipan · 1 year
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honestly fuck it i’m just gonna self-dx w adhd
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ethansluvbot · 1 year
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riding ethan for the first time please!!! love your writing btw<3
CRUEL SUMMER | SUB!ETHAN LANDRY
warnings: adult content, spoilers?, rough sex, riding, unprotected sex, and smut :)
an: i just got really sick randomly? anyways, i'm so so sorry for not posting in awhile. i just started a new school and even though its the end of the year its stressful. it also didn't help that i had horrible writers block. also, I've never written smut before so i will get better at this eventually! i'm binge watching the harry potter movies while eating soup now lol.
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with a ton of convincing from sam, ethan and tara you decided to volunteer for a summer camp. sure, spending you day with kids had its downs, but you enjoyed seeing ethan interact with kids.
the kids screams filled your ears as you run to pick up their messes. the sticky hair didn't help your anxiety at all. you sat next to sam with your head on her shoulder.
"how did you convince me to do this shit?"
a quick slap hit your shoulder as you let out a yelp, "no cursing, there's kids around. plus you could never say no to ethan, it looks like he's enjoying it."
"i know. he's been going on about this since january.," you know ethan was a total soft guy, he never would harm a soul. it took him awhile but he finally convinced you to help out.
you both heard footsteps approach you, a sigh came out as you saw his shoes. immediately you jump up and wrap your arms around his neck.
"thank god you're here to save me from sam, she's trying to make me actually do something." he let out a chuckle as he waved to sam.
"im here to take you away," he smirked as you smiled back at sam. you heard her softly gagging beginning to walk away.
"hey! i missed you today, it seemed like you were having fun with your cabin."
"i was! i actually taught a kid how to swim today." you grabbed on to his hand. you loved this side of ethan the soft, dorky and funny side of him to be exact.
"umm, i was wondering where you see us in the future? i know we have a little until we finish college but it's been on my mind."
"well, to be exact i see us in well paying jobs, a modern family home and hopefully kids of our own." you felt his mood shift with that. you might've not been the most kid involved person, but it was great to know you would consider the idea.
you both stepped into the cabin immediately grabbing pajamas. you felt ethans shattered breath at your neck. turning around you slinked your arms around his torso.
"can i help you?"
"god- i want to kiss you so bad right now."
you gave in to ethans innocent act, attaching both of your lips. his cold hands found his way up your back as you moaned in surprise. he hummed in pleasure, kissing down your stomach.
you flip the two of you over, "i wanted to try something new if that's fine?"
he nodded intently, he trusted you with his life and knew you wouldn't do anything to hurt either of you. he's desperate to finally get you undressed as he tugs at your pants.
"someones needy," you tease unbuttoning your jean shorts. his hands explored your body, undoing your bra and throwing it to the side. ethan was already undressed by the time you turned around.
"lay down."
he threw his head back as you pushed yourself down onto his cock. you put your hand over his mouth being careful not to arouse any suspicion.
"will you be a good boy and be quiet?" he hummed in response, "words baby."
"yes, ill be good," he let a muffeled whined out.
you let your nails scratch down his abs as you begin to move. his fingers begin to trace circles on your clit as you bounce. you were still adjusting to his size but since ethan was so eager you began to move.
"don't stop," he lets an exaggerated sigh come out of his mouth. you grab his chin making him look at you. he keeps his hands on your hips as you trail kisses down his neck.
you rested your hands on his chest helping him move you. even without him speaking he could tell he enjoyed this greatly. you felt his hand kneed at your ass.
looking down you see his glossy eyes look up at you, "aw, poor baby. are you not getting enough attention."
you were almost using him for your own pleasure, which you felt bad but, oh did it feel so good. he was getting anxious as you felt him squirming.
you felt him thrust into you a few more times. you could feel his tenseness, only meaning that he was reaching his high. leaning down you planted a kiss onto his lips.
"oh fuck- i love you."
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nouearth · 10 months
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to be loved.
pairing ; dick grayson x m!reader. fandom: ; dc, nightwing. word count ; 1253. genre; angst. rating ; pg-13. warnings ; cheater!dick, hurt!reader, crying. req ; @arc6n.
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today was perfect.
the sun casted over you when you exited your office building, hot and hard on a summer day, motivated to detox you of a day’s worth of stress and relief all at the same time. you preferred not to sweat on a day as special as this so a cold shower was imperative after getting home.
you hated the sun. maybe hate was a strong word—disliked. it made you sticky like you are now and there was talk amongst the mosquitos that you had the sweetest blood in town. few would bite, some would have seconds, but it was only a mere annoyance to your day.
nothing could ruin your anniversary.
you were out from work early after getting permission from your boss. you knew she would allow it since you’ve done a ton of heavy lifting to the company as of recent and alongside your perfect attendance, it was a no-brainer.
you wanted a head start on cooking dinner for dick—lobster rolls. it was a bit out of your usual budget, but he deserved it, especially since you’ve been busier the past few months. groceries were bought the day before, still fresh in the cooler, and you prepared the ingredients last night to reduce prep time.
a smile graced your face as you drove back to his apartment and you heard him in your head—dick—coddling you with simple praises for being so smart and efficient. the thought was sudden, but that was how it always was when it came to your boyfriend. you thought of him in every waking moment: his voice, his smile, his body, his kindness—everything. each memory of him calmed you, made time pass by, and you never found yourself bored from replaying moments in your head like you did with rewatching your favorite tv show.
it was almost sunset when you arrived. the day has gotten cooler, but remained humid as you felt yourself getting sticky again during the brief moment you traveled from your car and into the apartment building. the security guard greeted your familiarity and you did the same, though hurriedly as every second counted before dick would come home.
“lobsters are in the freezer… celery is chopped- oh, potatoes. gotta roast potatoes…” the elevator took you to dick’s floor and anxiety crept along seemingly out of nowhere as you were previously excited for the night a few seconds ago. it was a good thing, you told yourself. the fact that dick still made you nervous, gave you butterflies after four years together—it was a good thing.
“man, i gotta pee…” you muttered.
keychains clang against one another as you fumbled with dick’s lock, opening it with a gentle creak. you exhaled a sigh of relief when you entered, the air conditioner reunited with your damp skin again, cooler and colder as you beelined to the bathroom.
and maybe there was a reason for you to be so nervous.
you’ve always been observant. it was why co-workers came to you to proofread their paperwork and why dick preferred telling you what he got you for a present as opposed to hiding it, because you always knew something was off.
you relieved yourself, and noticed the humid air in the bathroom—heavy and damp. the shower curtains were still wet and the aroma of dick’s body wash lingered, stung your nose even, and it all confirmed your suspicions.
“shit.” dick’s already home. the fog on the mirror hid your dumbfounded expression well, but you can hear dick’s laugh in your head again. he has something prepared. probably another dinner reservation like last time? guess i could save the lobster for tomor-
another laugh.
then another.
you blinked slowly, even quickly washed the sweat off your face to wake you of your delusions. maybe thinking of him every second isn’t exactly good for me.
but another muffled outside of the bathroom and you followed the trail of laughter that soon came after to the closed door of dick’s bedroom. as if a ghost possessed you, your steps were hollow in its lead and your stomach churned when you heard another laugh, almost flinching because it’s not dick’s. it was a laughter of cushion, soft and pliant in response to dick’s own jokes and laughter that would follow up with it.
nothing could ruin your anniversary.
your heart raced as you stood still, faced to the door, but your arm is extended as your hand took an unwilling grasp to the doorknob.
nothing could ruin your anniversary.
the sweat that you washed yourself off of prior returned, brimmed at your hairline, and your hands began clamming up. it ran down your temple now and you breathed—you tried.
cue for another laugh.
it only took a glimpse for you to feel tremors course through your heart, but you pushed the door open despite so, as if you intended to hurt even more—to break yourself. when dick and the stranger’s eyes turned to meet yours, the sound of an earthquake splitting your heart into two, four, eight, came after.
“y/n- fuck, i can explain.”
at first, the pair of bodies stuck together like glue. dick’s arms were wrapped around the stranger’s waist like he would to yours and the doting gaze that you two once shared, is reflected with someone else—cherished with someone else.
but they split—only split—when you surveyed them with a wavering gaze. you weren’t sure where to look at. unspoken words—profanities—lodged in your throat as you overwhelmed yourself upon analyzing everything. the half-naked bodies that they once held, the panicked expressions that replaced adoration, the frantic scatterings of feet and hands to separate themselves—as if they were strangers, complete strangers.
silence came after, darkness too when you shut your teary eyes to breathe as best as you could. a cold draft touched you and your ears picked up on quick footsteps that would soon exit the apartment.
“y/n…”
there was silence then. you opened your eyes and see dick, closer, clothed, and distraught. your throat held swelling anger, sadness, hurt, all you could imagine, but you simply croaked. “…why?”
dick’s arms wrapped around you, strong and quick as he usually does when you cried. but this time, you want to escape from the embrace that you once loved and yearned for after a long day of work.
but you don’t because you’re conflicted. you always told him that you felt safe in his arms and shamefully, you still do, even when your heart has been broken into a million pieces, swelled until it began staggering your breath, your whimpers, and your eventual sobs.
you cried into his shoulder, repeating the same question. “why?”
you wished you had something more profound to say, to scream at him. but you don’t because you’re overwhelmed with emotions that could only be casted out with another lament. your arms were too weak to push him away, and you’ve always matched his strength, but you can’t. they’re limp at your sides now, hands petal-veined as you balled them into fists and dug your nails into your skin, as if dick’s flesh was in the palm of your hands.
i hate you. i hate you so much.
and dick’s palm cradled your head, pushing you as close to his body because this will be the very last time he can selfishly hold you like this—loved and treasured.
“i-i’m so sorry,” he stammered.
“i’m so sorry…”
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nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works.
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saccadesoup · 3 months
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random tim thoughts. i have been thinking about him a lot lately
- gets flustered SO easily,,, tease him even slightly and that’s it. he’s bright red. stuttering. thinking ab it for the rest of the day.
- speaking of stuttering: had a really bad stutter as a kid. got put in speech therapy and now it’s mostly gone but it does come back slightly when he’s upset/stressed
- either has the most horrific, realistic, fear-inducing nightmares or unhinged fever dreams. like it’s either “i just watched faceless shadow figures tear into jay and hang his guts on the wall then i had to run but i couldn’t so they did it to me next” or “i had to rescue lady gaga who was also the queen of norway from an evil piece of toast then we made out”
- secretly enjoys ABBA (would rather die than admit it)
- COLLECTS VINYLS you cannot tell me this man isn’t a vinyl elitist. keeps them neatly organised and will pitch a fit if you even breathe on them wrong
- writes a shit ton of lyrics that’ll never see the light of day. it’s basically his version of writing poetry
- went to college for music composition but never put out any of the stuff he wrote (he thought people wouldn’t like it), it’s all kept on usb sticks in the attic tho cause he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of all the songs he poured his young little heart and soul into
- can fall asleep anywhere anytime during the day, but the MOMENT he gets into bed at night. he’s awake. cant sleep. not happening.
- generalised anxiety disorder i’m not elaborating
- overthinks every interaction he ever has
- however. he’s also a stubborn bastard. communicates in sarcasm and affectionate insults
- has the most beautiful, deep, rich singing voice... such a warm baritone. think david le'aupepe from Gang of Youths
- snores like an old man he literally sounds like a freight train
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stardew-shitposterino · 3 months
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The Bachelors and how they’d react if you asked them to start a family
Same old same old. This post is inspired by @babiebom 's post about the bachelor/ettes and how many kids they’d have :3 I’m not really a person who is too keen on children and being a housewife, but I can’t deny that the thought of a picture perfect family does warm my heart, girlies. Enjoy 💅🏻🍼
Some answers are gender specific. I hope to anyone playing the game as a same sex couple that you can look past that 🙏🏻
Sam:
-he’d be boots the house down in total shock
-don’t get it twisted, he is ecstatic, but damn he didn’t expect it to be this soon
-of course he is excited about every life stage of his potential little ones, but he can’t wait to have someone he can teach how to skate
-„really? A-and you’re not joking or anything? RAD!“
-maybe he is a bit too excited as he‘s definitely ripping his pants off his body as soon as the message sunk in
-„Oh you didn’t mean we should start it right now? Sorry my bad 😅“
Sebastian:
-he is happy but can’t really show it
-anxiety is kicking hard rn
-it’s not that he doesn’t want this, but he has so many worries, after all he had lived through himself
-he definitely needs some time to think about this
-„Y/N, I’d really love to have this with you one day, but please give me time to adjust to this. It’s a lot for me to process.“
-he will eventually open up about it and you agree on not rushing things. If you’re an opposite sex couple, you agree on starting a family once you’re pregnant. No planning, just living and if it happens, it happens (it probably happened after like 2 months after you had the talk lol)
Elliott:
-„Heavens, Love! What wonderful news. I’ve been waiting for this moment. This will be the start of our legacy!“ (excuse me bruuuhh this is how I imagine him talk lol)
-he had heart-shaped eyes if you haven’t noticed
-as much as he loves the romance and allure of being a childless couple with a world to their feet, he can’t kick the idea of being a wholesome dad raising a curious child with his wonderful partner
-he emphasises on not rushing things as he doesn’t want you to feel pressure. He knows how stressful your job is so he doesn’t want you to feel overwhelmed though you proposed that idea first
-you can bet your ass you went to bed after that talk 👀 WHO SAID THAT 🤨
Harvey:
-he is a blushy mess thank you and amen
-he‘s so anxious but also so excited
-no way you actually proposed this to him. He actually accepted his fate as a childless bachelor
-but here he is, finally getting the happy little family he always wanted
-but it isn’t smooth sailing with him, oh no. You can bet your ass he has to calculate everything through before he feels comfortable enough starting to bring this wish to reality
-you know, you earn a shit ton of money but he is anxious ok. He needs to KNOW the child won’t end up homeless with nothing to wear once it’s here
-“Oh this is all so new and, I-I don’t even know how to say it without it sounding wrong. I just can’t grasp that this is happening. Pinch me so I know I’m not dreaming”
-you didn’t sleep with each other that day but a make-out sess was in it. A wholesome one to say the least. This man is wholesome in my books 📕
Shane:
-the only thing missing here is that he fainted and fell to the floor after you popped the question
-say WHAT NOW?!
-no way. He probably heard it wrong. You didn’t just ask HIM to have YOUR children… no wait the other way around. This is what that question did to his brain lol
-or generally having kids together. He isn’t opposed to adopting because he fears the kids will inherit his messed up brain so taking in kids that are in need of a nice, welcoming home doesn’t sound bad either
-but no wait wait back to the topic; he’s a MESS
-he always wanted children and a family in general, the very boring ass white picket fence fantasy is what he longed for but kind of accepted that it’s something he cannot have. Well guess what…HE CAN
-“wait…did you- and you mean with me? Or is there someone else I should know about? Ok sorry bad joke. But you mean it?! Really? A little sibling for Jas🥹”
-just know this burly man started crying a river of joy tears. But once the tears dried and it kicked in 👀
-“ok if we want this to work out we gotta get to business 😎”
Alex:
-like Shane, he waited for this moment
-just he isn’t anxious like some of the others, he straight up jumps for joy lol
-“BABE NO WAY! I’ve been waiting for this!”
-he is a happy crier tho. Expect him to cry a little but in a good way
-but also expect him to propose the question of having a lot more kids in the future. He wants a football team of kids. But the amount is still negotiable of course (you gave him the “spouse stare” which made him go down a notch lol)
- he will babble about what gender the first kid might be, what he’d do with them depending on it and how he’d get them the smallest grid ball jerseys you’ll ever see because “LOOK THEY ARE SO TINY”
-like some of the others, he might be a bit too eager to start the baby project. Even if you can’t conceive yourself, he will live out that fantasy. You prepared yourself for this because it was very much predictable lol
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wordstome · 6 months
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I am having a goddamn nightmare of a time writing the university au (mostly because I have a shit ton of work to do…for my university…lol) so have some headcanons about the most toxic couple you’ve ever met. mdni under the cut
They’re like the definition of a situationship. They’re dating in every aspect except by name
At first she does try to sleep with other guys like she did before König but that doesn’t last long, because nobody else is as good as him. She will never admit this outside of the bedroom
Meanwhile he literally calls her his girlfriend behind her back
She’s emotionally unavailable toxic, he’s obsessive and possessive toxic
König enjoys the pursuit and just thinks it’s normal for women to be difficult like this. I would say “poor König” but he has a bad habit of picking her up and carrying her places against her will so he’s not that poor
She likes to tell herself she has no attachment to him, but she loves the ego boost he gives her by acting like a lovestruck puppy and following her everywhere. She’s also secretly into him being controlling
She does have her moments of genuinely caring about him, though. She brought him lunch once and he looked at her like she hung the moon the whole day. Her excuse was that she just happened to get/make an extra portion, but she did, in fact, get him a portion on purpose
She basically lives with him after a certain point. Her roommates barely see her anymore since she only comes and goes from her old place to get things. He constantly threatens to change the locks on her, but they both know it’s an empty threat. He much prefers to punish her in sexy ways
She'll just be minding her own business talking to a classmate or perhaps flirting with someone when König will come up behind her and put his arms around her. If she was just talking to someone she'll pat his face before attempting to shoo him off. If she was flirting with someone, she wrenches him off her and storms off in a huff (whoever she was talking to has definitely fled from König's evil eye by that point)
They don't really fight, they just have spats because König is endlessly amused by her anger and she is unable to stay mad at him for long. The one time they had a real fight was nasty, and they didn't talk for days afterwards
She's usually quite a chill, go with the flow person (because if she allowed herself too much stress or anxiety at once it would destroy her), but König brings out the spitfire in her
In equal measure, König is a bit of the shy and quiet giant type, but she brings out the brat tamer in him. They alternate balancing each other out
It's kind of easy to look at them and go "why are they still doing this to themselves" but when they get along (i.e. he's behaving himself and she's not pretending not to know him) they're as functional as any other couple
This definitely goes without saying: the nastiest most bed-breaking sex. They fuck like they’re trying to murder each other
I know it's a pet peeve of many people when they say the reader is ooooo so small and delicate next to the cod men, and I tend to agree. However, unless you are also nearly seven feet tall and built like an olympic swimmer, I'm just gonna say you're smaller than König
That being said, he LOVES using his size against her. Picking her up, bending her over things, bending her in half (mating press, his beloved)
If he wants her to stay, she'll stay. He'll have one hand on her throat pinning her down, the other keeping her open to slam into her
This brat will look him dead in the eye and ask "is that all you've got?", which obviously makes him lose his mind in the best way
She definitely has more experience than he does, which actually works out in his favor: him getting better at fucking really just means he's getting better at fucking her
They're so goddamn nasty they've definitely fucked in semi-public places because she teased him to the point of madness and he popped a boner so hard it was painful
Oh, the dirty talk. König is such a gentleman outside of the bedroom, but the degradation that comes out of him while he's fucking her is toe-curling. A lot of "nobody else can fuck you like this" and "all you're good for is taking me in your tight little hole"
He growls??? I don't know if y'all have heard his voicelines in German but he snarls at her when he's trying to teach her a lesson and it turns her into putty
This post is dedicated to @kneelingshadowsalome, who is waiting for this fic so patiently and is my shining beacon of motivation at this point lol
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shadesslut · 8 months
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Hi
Could u do a Ethen Landry × fem reader
Where reader and Ethan have been dating for a few months, and like reader and him have a fight (about whatever that's ur choice) while they were studying at his house.
And in anger reader leaved the house and goes to her house and like he attacks her as Ghostface but it was like just to prank her, and she gets shit scared and gets an asthma attack and like doesn't have her inhaler with her and like she had to get more inhalers so he panic and like runs to a pharmacy and gets her an inhaler, but when he's back she's past out.
You can choose what happens next
Thank you <33
🤍🤍
Hope you like it:)
i love you
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Pairing: Mean!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
Content Includes: Asthma attack, angst, fluff
Summary: Ethan decided to scare Y/N after a fight, it doesn’t end well.
Masterlist
It had been two hours. Two fucking hours of Ethan studying. Y/N had been laying on his bed, randomly scrolling on her phone. She came over after her classes to work on an assignment for a class they shared, but after finishing, Ethan wanted to study for his Econ final the following day. Every thirty minutes, she would try to get him to spend time with her, rubbing at his shoulders and gently kissing his neck, and every time, he dismissed her.
“Ethan,” she whined, drawing out his name.
“What?” he mocked. His pen frantically moved across the paper as his head turned to his textbook and back to his notes.
She took a puff from her inhaler, which caused Ethan to turn around. His eyes looked tired, and his shoulders looked tense. Y/N knows how much Ethan hadn’t slept lately, the nights where she felt him slip out, presumably to work on school. What she didn’t know though, is that her perfect, shy boyfriend, was out killing.
“Can you take a break?” She asked as she sat up. He sighed and put pressure on his temples. “Do you need advil?”
He shook his head as he looked back up to her. He stood up and walked over to grab the water bottle on his night stand, taking a quick swig. “I think you need a break.” She suggested.
He groaned at her. “I need you to stop being so clingy.”
She was taken aback by his words, he had never snapped at her before.
“I’m..I’m not? I’m just worried about you.”
“Bullshit, you’ve been trying to get me to pay attention to you for the past hour.” Ethan argued as he sat back at his desk. His back was turned to her, but he could feel her gaze on him.
“Don’t be an asshole,” she muttered, getting up.
He let out a half tired half annoyed laugh. He rubbed his palms over his face. He genuinely wasn’t pissed with her; he had been stressed from his dad getting into his ass and his poor grades in classes. He did want to spend time with her, he was just…frustrated, in certain ways. He needed to let out his stress with some form of relief.
“I’m not being an asshole, I just have a shit ton of work.” Ethan grumbled.
She nodded and grabbed her purse. “Then I’ll just leave you to your work.” She spat before leaving, slamming the door.
On her way home, she clutched the strap of her purse. She felt her anxiety peaking, checking her phone for any messages.
Ethan kept behind her carefully, watching her intensely. He watched her turn a corner, and he checked around him to make sure they were alone. He slid his mask on and quickened his pace.
Y/N started looking through her purse for her inhaler, feeling each breath getting heavier and heavier.
“Shit.” She cursed once she realized she probably left it on Ethan’s bed.
Her eyes started to water from the overwhelming weight on her lungs.
She heard quick footsteps grow louder and louder behind her, and she pulled her pepper spray out. Ethan caught up to her, grabbing her by the shoulders and yelling “Boo!”
She screamed bloody murder and turned around, spraying towards him. He inhaled some of the spray, instantly coughing.
“What,” cough. “The.” cough. “Fuck?”
He took off his mask and coughed more. Y/N gradually fell to the ground and started to wheeze. She held her hand over her chest, gasping for air. Ethan looked at her after his coughing fit, and his eyes immediately widened. “Shit. Shit.”
He leaned down and went through her purse, desperately trying to find her inhaler. She gasped and wheezed as Ethan ransacked her purse. She felt tears spill from her eyes as she began to panic. Could this night go any worse?
“Fuck, there was a pharmacy near by. I’ll go, I’ll go get an inhaler.” He said quickly before getting up and running back around the corner. Her eyes followed him as his form disappeared, and her vision started to blur.
When Ethan came back, she was laid on the floor, eyes closed.
His eyes widened and he dropped down on his knees next to her. He shook her limp body and called out her name.
“No, no, fuck fuck no,” he cursed as he picked up her motionless body.
She woke up to a bright light shining in her eyes as she softly groaned. She moved her hand up to her eyes and gently rubbed them. She saw someone jerk their head up out of the corner of her eye, and she saw Ethan enter her peripheral vision.
“H-Hey! Are you okay? Do you need water?” He immediately asked, grabbing her hand.
She looked at him and blinked. “What happened?”
He gulped and looked down shamefully. “I- Uh,”
She thought for a moment, and she sighed as she remembered. He looked at her and knew she knew, and he waited anxiously for her response.
“I remember you scared me.” She said.
“Y-Yeah, I did. I’m so sorry. You started to panic, and I-I went to go get an inhaler for you, but I came back and you were-“ he stuttered, face heating up with embarrassment.
She grabbed his other hand and squeezed. “H-Hey it’s okay,” she said, softly smiling.
He shook his head at her. “It’s not, I was an asshole. I’m sorry, my dad has been such an ass, and I’ve been so stressed lately. It’s not an excuse, b-but I-“ he was cut off by her lips gently meeting his.
He sighed and relaxed his shoulders, kissing her back. She pulled away slightly and smiled.
“They said you were lucky I got you here when I did.”
“My hero,” she softly praised, making his ears turn red. She caressed his warm cheek with her palm, and she leaned forward and kissed his nose.
“Good.” He said smirking, tugging her towards him, kissing her harshly. She breathed heavily at a quicker pace, and she pushed him off of her, looking around the room.
“Here,” he said, offering her inhaler. She grabbed it and took a puff, slowing her breathing.
She thanked him and he nodded at her.
“I’m gonna have twenty of those on me everywhere we go now.” He joked, causing her to softly chuckle. She rested her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.
“I really am sorry. I love you.” He whispered.
“I love you too.”
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blackcandlesinwinter · 7 months
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There's a shit ton of really bad takes on that post I reblogged from @nothorses about signs of addiction which I generally expect when it comes to this topic. But I really want to draw attention to the knee-jerk defensive reactions from folks trying to draw a sharp distinction between "medical use" and "recreational use" because I think this is both extremely reductive and also harmful.
"Medical use" is, if anything, a legal distinction, not a medical one or a moral one. Medical use means that a doctor wrote the prescription for the drug you are using and you are presumably using it according to the instructions you were given. Medical use doesn't mean you're not addicted to a drug. Lots of folks are addicted to substances that they are legally prescribed. That doesn't mean that it's bad for them to use the drug, or that they need to stop using it, or that doctors shouldn't prescribe it! There's a cost-benefit analysis that goes into the decision to take any medication. Every person has the right to decide for themselves if the benefits to their quality of life outweigh any downsides, including the possible downside of addiction.
"Recreational use" doesn't mean that people aren't using drugs as medication. It just means that the drugs a person is using are not prescribed to them by a doctor or are not being used as indicated. People often have both medical and recreational motivations to use non-prescribed drugs. Like, a lot of folks smoke weed to deal with pain, but also they might enjoy the feeling of being high. Lots of folks with anxiety or depression take drugs for fun, and sometimes part of the fun is that it eases the symptoms of their mental illness. Folks with ADHD may seek out recreational stimulants. Folks with bipolar may use substances that make their mania more fun and less stressful. Folks with addictions may use additional drugs to ease withdrawal symptoms or to extend their high. Folks with terminal illnesses may use substances to allow them to forget about death for a little while. Lots of people whose drug use is "recreational" also have underlying illnesses that factor into their use, whether they are aware and diagnosed or not.
And this is not to insist that all drug use must have a secret, tragic, underlying medical reason that makes their drug use totally out of their control. I've already written my rambling essay on how I find that sort of agency-denying woobification of drug users to also be rather unhelpful. I'm saying that we can't neatly sort people into "pure, innocent drug user who has a medical excuse to take drugs so it's ok" vs. "bad, irresponsible drug user who has no excuse and thus deserves judgment for their bad decisions." And we shouldn't be trying to.
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bearw-me · 1 month
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I read both your lute x friend reader hcs and adored themmm!!
Could I request a follow up of their first time together (I'm interested to see if previously being friends would ease some possible tension or maybe make it even more nerve wracking lol)
orrr if you don't write smut (sorry I couldn't find any rules) could I request their first date together?
it occurs to me that i should make a rules thingy, but just your luck bc i love your request + lute! so i will be doing both scenarios!
𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 & 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐋𝐮𝐭𝐞!
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𐐒 includes : lute x gender neutral! reader 𐐒 cw : fluff, smut, nsfw 𐐒 summary : first date hcs first up + the smuts at the end under the cut 𐐒 note : we are now a lute blog, sorry, not sorry + never tried to write smut, lmk how it went!
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𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞
assuming here that lute sets up the date by herself:
she'd like to do something really romantic, and personal on one hand
she's only known romance for herself through heavens versions of it, the classic pure kind of love she's been exposed to
so a date would be sort of traditional by her standards
maybe take you out to a nice, lowkey restaurant and then find a nice cloud up in heaven to sit with you afterwards
just really wants to talk and be physically close with you
(if Lute asks you on a date its her obligation to pay for you btw, just enjoy yourself)
even if you were friends first, Lute still stresses about messing up your shared relationship, both romantically and platonically (like you haven't already seen her 'flaws')
but being the strong angel that heaven demands of her, she tries not to let her nerves show
gets frustrated at herself for not being able to express her emotions for you correctly
like she commands one of heavens armies for crying out loud, how can she not articulate that she loves spending time with you properly!
So, I think her words may be a bit jumbled and come out a little rude or completely-not what she means
but her actions seem to speak louder
like the way she sits hip to hip with you, or the way her wings hover around your body, or even the way she can firmly hold your hand. proudly, confidently
and previously being friends allows her to be more comfortable around you (enough to tease and bully you still at least)
doesn't know shit about being in a relationship for sure, but with you she's comfortable enough to want to try
𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞
for your first time, she'd have to be super trusting of you
and lets be real, every time she thinks about it or you bring up intimate things with her: her face is beat red
but she doesn't mind feeling wanted in that way. . . in fact it would turn her on
of course its Lute's FIRST first time, so there's some nerves to be had, but mostly in embarrassing herself. . . frankly she's not totally sure what she should be doing. . . ?
Where- Where should she put her hands?
listen, i didn't know where to put this so im putting this hc here: Lute's upper back, where her wings start are super ticklish and super sensitive. being an angel, with her wings and back being 'a weak spot' for battle. . . its an area she'd be hesitant about. . . but she trusts you
she lets go of all her anxieties though once she realizes this is exactly what she wants
unintentionally gives you a ton of praise when you do something that makes her feel good
probably swears (a fuck ton) under her breath + unintentional love bombs
Lute would definitely let you take the reins at first, just so she can get a sense of things and to start building up her confidence a bit
and its nice to let her hands run up and down your body like she's dreamed of (on that note, she's very attentive to little noises or sighs you make)
she wants to make you feel good too, in fact, this little devil in disguise has probably been waiting for this moment
definitely wouldn't mind being the dominant one (in fact i think she'd love it)
Lute rolling the two of you over in order to sit on your lap and straddle you. . .
rolling her hips while she rides you
Fucking adores your little faces and how good she's making you feel
(last one i promise) she wouldn't be opposed to leaving at least one little bite mark on your neck
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i lowkey think there was a ton i could've said but i kept the ones i could think about right now, thanks for loving lute + my hcs for her!
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astermath · 11 months
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Would it be okay to request a Carmy x reader where reader isn't a smoker but consumes lollipop instead? While on a break Carmy storms out stressed, unable to find cigarettes, reader notices his anxiety and causally takes lollipop out of their mouth and put into Carmys. "I know this can't replace nicotine but maybe this time you need something sweet". Carmy is suprised and reader just goes inside to work only to figure out later what they did and frantically running out back to apologize to Carmy. 👉👈
absolutely my dear!! I switched it up a teeny tiny bit, hope that's okay! thank you so much for the lovely idea! ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ
word count: 0.8K
warnings: swearing, slight suggestive talk, not proofread lol
let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content!
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It had been over a year since you'd quit smoking, a habit you'd originally picked up because of the stress from your job and education combined. And you'd gladly taken the breaks that came along with it.
It had started as a New Year's resolution, quitting smoking, but you took it very seriously. But going cold turkey was hard, really hard, so you'd turned to something else to fill the void.
Lollipops.
Relatively harmless, delicious and allowed inside too.
And your boss, Carmen, had been so kind to let you take your "lollipop breaks" outside too, when the others were smoking. It gained you a few confused looks from your colleagues at first, but they got used to it pretty soon.
A week ago, you and Carmen were closing up, and you'd jokingly offered him a lollipop from your stash instead of a cigarette.
"Hahah, very funny. Those are gotta be laced with somethin' with how much you love them." He reached for his pack of cigarettes.
"Just the recipe for cavities." You started looking through your bag. "Come on, what's your favorite flavor, I got a ton of 'em."
He sighed, putting the small cardboard box back in his pocket. "Give me the apple one."
"Good choice," you handed him the plastic wrapped candy, and he quickly tugged off the wrapper and put it in his mouth.
"Mm," he hummed, hands clasped as his arms rested over his knees. Sitting on the curb was always more comfortable after doing a closing shift. "Haven't had one of these in ages."
He watched you from the corner of his eye. Plump lips wrapped around hard candy, the hard part of it creating a slightly bulge in your cheek, and when you'd take it out, your lips would always make that satisfying pop. Shit, he'd almost started getting some unholy thoughts about it.
The two of you sat in silence for a bit, still coming down from a long day of work.
"You know, smoking is really bad for you." You looked up at the night sky, trying to figure out if you were seeing a shooting star or a plane.
"No shit," he huffed, "so is sugar, dumbass."
You chuckled. "Touché chef, touché."
Tonight had been a night just like the one the week before.
You were already sat out on the curb, lollipop in your mouth, humming a tune to yourself, when Carmen went outside to join you. The weather was nice, and it was welcome after you'd just had the most hellish shift in a long time.
He reached for his cigarettes in his back pocket, brows furrowing when the packet felt surprisingly light. He opened it, groaning upon discovering it was empty. "Christ... I gotta let Richie stop bumming cigarettes from me." He was clearly irritated, foot tapping on the concrete as he looked off to the distance.
"Lollipop?" You asked, already reaching into your bag.
"Please," he sighed out, legs straightening out to stretch them a bit.
You started rummaging around, and just like him before, was met with the clear absence of your favorite snack. Either there was a candy thief around, or you seriously needed to start cutting back on how many of those you had per day.
"Fuck, I'm out, uhm..." You noticed how agitated he seemed, and you weren't about to have him go home in a shit mood after he'd worked so hard. So you figured you might as well try and ask.
"Do you want mine?"
He turned his head slightly, eyebrows raising at what you'd just said. He trusted you, he wasn't a believer of cooties, but taking a lollipop straight from someone else's mouth was a bit more extreme than having a sip from the same cup. But it was you, he knew you, he liked you, so... Fuck it, why not?
"Yeah... Sure." He watched your lips closely as the hard candy dragged across them, spit painting them so beautifully. He almost didn't notice your hand reaching it out to him, and he took it carefully. He looked straight into your eyes when popping it in his mouth, and you felt like there was something strangely erotic about it all.
"Well," you put your hands on your knees and got up, "I gotta go, I have somewhere to be early tomorrow, so..." You smiled, a little awkwardly. "You owe me a lollipop though."
He smiled, and you did too. "For sure. Now go home, I can tell you're tired chef."
"Heard." You grinned, waving a quick goodbye before walking off to the nearest metro station.
Man, he'd really start enjoying lollipops more if they were all covered in the taste of you.
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tag list <3
@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash
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3zethe3zr · 4 months
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STP Voices preening headcanons
These are mostly based off of my designs for the voices (silly little anthropomorphic corvids - each a different species with a different accessory) But i thought they were too fun not to share :]
Now, in some particular order:
Takes absolute shit care of themselves and their feathers:
Broken (Collared Crow)- I feel like this one is self-explanatory. Its Broken. His feathers are fifty shades of fucked up and hes trapped in too much self loathing to ever consider preening, social or not. The manacles have damaged his wing feathers to the point that even without the chains, he cannot fly. Cold (Common Raven)- Feeling nothing does not mean they experience any discomfort when unkempt and sees self maintenance as wholly boring. Is absolutely rank. Also considers social preening an absolute waste of time, is lucky to have Hunted as a bestie Cheated (Chough)- Never gets in horrid enough condition that Broken and Cold do, but somehow manages to be worse. Does not see the point in self maintenance when his feathers are just going to get fucked up in the future, but the second he feels he's too unkempt he will start complaining. Doesn't enjoy social preening either, so the others have to force him at metaphorical gunpoint, and he whines the entire time
Takes insanely good care of their feathers:
Opportunist (Eurasian Magpie)- First impressions matter! He is always ridiculously well put together and shiny. Wants the connections social preening could give (and maybe a friend), so tries to initiate it frequently. Often the one badgering Cheated to take care of himself by appealing to Cheateds' better nature. Cheated does not have a better nature. Hunted (Malayan Black Magpie)- Well maintained feathers have a fuck ton of benefits for a Weird Fucked Up Prey Creature so Hunted is insanely diligent about making sure every feather is in order, and gets cagey and on edge when this is not the case. Social Preening is its primary way of bonding and it greatly enjoys it. The one keeping Colds feathers from getting too nasty.
Perfectly average preening habits, nothing to write home about:
Hero (Carrion Crow)- Tries his best but often ends up a little scruffed up around the edges Skeptic (Taiwan Blue Magpie)- Normally keeps themselves very presentable, you can tell when their mind is occupied as they get unkept very quickly Contrarian (Steller's Jay)- Always looks perfect without having to try at all. Everyone else hates this.
Would have good care of their feathers BUT:
Paranoid (Rook)- Anxiety is a double-edged sword, he takes very good care of his feathers due to it, but can also over-preen and has a few bald patches. His gloves bend his wing feathers out of shape and that only stresses him out more. Does not trust any of the others to preen him. Smitten (Blue Jay)- His feathers are ridiculously well groomed, and he cares about looking good. However, he does not take that helmet off ever, and nobody else is allowed to take that helmet off- so his facial & head feathers are as fucked up, bent and grimy as Broken and Colds. Perhaps even worse. Outside of the helmet thing, he delights in social preening. Stubborn (Jackdaw)- Being in good condition means he can fight for longer, so preening is a worthwhile investment to make. Post fight, you're going to need a fucking construction crew to put him and all his feathers back into place. Doesnt enjoy social preening and gets fidgety and bored fast.
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satansdarlin · 6 months
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Op men as dads
IM NOT DEAD! I've been working on requests and also doing school so I havent had much time to post much recently but I thought I'd drop this little treat for you all while I work.
(I was inspired ✨️)
Sanji, zoro, luffy, usopp, ace
Warnings: talk of pregnancy, talk of labor, talk of neglect, talk of anxiety, talk of premature baby's, talk of premature side effects.
Masterlist
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Sanji- twin daughters
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Girl dad to the extreme
Okay okay so let's start off when you were pregnant
He was incredibly doting, literally wouldn't let you lift a finger for anything
Tons of research on safe foods for pregnancy and also learning how to properly make baby food
When the girls were born it was the first time sanji discovered that feeling of such a need to protect them
They were so tiny and had his blonde hair and blue eyes
Either gives them zeffs last name or yours
Their names? Éclaire (or Claire for short) Sora and Suzette Rei
Very much princess standard
Spoils them as much a humanly possible
When they grow up he teaches them all the stuff he knows how to cook and actually begins making a cookbook soley so his girls can have it when they are adults
Claire tends to be the flirter one out of the twins often making sanji chase off all sorts of boys and men from his princess
Suzette tends be more withdrawn. She prefers to stick to the kitchen helping her dad anywhere she can
Both of them are huge daddies girls
Zoro- triplets, two boys one girl
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Zoro through most of the pregnancy was calm and collected.
Another one who refused to let you do anything without his hand on your hip
He did the pregnant belly lift for you all the time
All shit goes down when you actually give birth
Zoro had been expecting one baby but when two more popped out he panicked
Absolutely wants to train them personally
Their names? Shogi Korushiro Roronoa, Menko Arashi Roronoa, and his daughter Karuta kumia Roronoa
Shogi is the eldest of the triplets and even though it's only by a few minutes he really takes being the eldest sibling seriously. He looks over his siblings and trains the most so he can protect them and be as great as his dad one day
Menko tends to be the lazy one. Menko can and will take a nap everywhere and anywhere he can. Sanji once found him sleeping in kitchen cabinet on a bag of rice.
Karuta feels the need to stay on her brothers level. She takes her training even more seriously than shogi does. Zoro is more than pleased to train her but even he worries about her over doing it to keep up.
The triplets also see chopper almost as a older brother
Zoro decided if he was to pass away ever each of the triplets would get one of his swords.
Luffy- two sons
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Lord.
During your pregnancy it was really confusing for luffy about around the time you started showing he began to realize
He is constantly lettering Sabo filling him in and asking questions
Luffy became more protective of you when you were pregnant literally barked at someone for getting too close once
When you go into labor he is right by your side.
After you gave birth to your first son, Monkey D Ace luffy was suprised at how small he was.
Luffy was surprisingly gentle but that didn't change much of his childish ways
The baby would scream sometimes just because luffy would scream back (there's this video of twins who yell to figure out if the other is near, kinda like that)
When you got pregnant the second time when ace was around age two luffy understood it a lot more.
He did his best to not stress you with the baby and this time it went a lot smoother.
He knew what to expect in the delivery room the second time when your second son, Monkey D Ademir, came into the world
Ace tends be rambunctious, running into trouble much like his father with a similar appetite, but he also knows the weight of his name and so he holds it with pride
Ademir is similar to his brother and father, but he also tends to be far more brutally honest than ace.
Both boys tend to lean towards you though. Surprisingly, they tend to listen to you more than their father although it's a shocking sight when luffy is actually telling them to do something
Usopp- premature boy
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Anxiety ten times higher than normal
When you found out you were pregnant usopp used his anxious energy to start making things
Baby clothes? Got it. Crib? Got it. Toys? Got it. With the help of Franky converted a large storage closet into a baby room.
Imagine his panic when the baby room wasn't even half done when you went into labor.
The labor was brutal on both you and usopp. But eventually his son, Shinji took in his first breaths.
For the first few months of life the crew fussed over shinji constantly due to his prematurely he had a hard time breathing and needed far more cuddling than a normal baby.
Usopp would stay up all night just making sure his son was breathing after he had read a book that said children born premature could pass away easily
Shinji pulled through. And unfortunately became the most brutally honest person anyone had ever met. He gave luffy a run for his money about not being able to tell a lie
Shinji would run and tell you all about the acts his father wasn't supposed to get up to even small ones like sneaking a extra treat after dinner.
Even so usopp coddled his son constantly
When shinji took a interest in art and carving usopp nearly cried because they had a shared interest.
Becoming a father made usopp realize how truly messed up what his own father did was.
Usopp understood having his own goal while being a parent would make it harder but he would never abandon his son or you to achevie them. He'd prefer to achieve them with you by his side.
Ace- daughter
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Ace panicked when he found out you were growing his child inside of you.
The ship was on fire type of panic
Ran you straight to Marco who checked you out and congratulated you when he confirmed the pregnancy.
Ace similarly to luffy was incredibly protective.
You were never out of his sight and if you were he had someone checking on you hourly.
His coddling was almost suffocating.
When you went into labor, more fires had to be put out on the ship.
Marco nearly had to remove ace from the room because he was freaking out more than you were.
The one time ace settled down was when his newborn daughter nuzzled her face against his warm chest, Rouge D Portgas named after his mother.
Rouge lived up to her name, she frequently made the ship panic because no one could find her only to find her snuggled up in between some barrels.
Ace sworn the night Rouge was born he would never let her go through the things he did as a child.
Ace was a amazing father often having her up on his shoulders and would cry with her when she had to go get her shots or got scrapes.
Spoilers ahead
When ace died Rouge went into Marco's care. The only thing she had left of her father was his hat which she wears constantly.
Although Rouge goes through a similar thing of being bullied for her father she is prideful of his father and who he was.
Spoilers over
Overall ace tries to be the best dad he can be.
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jamiedc-they-them · 7 months
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Being Maeve’s sister and her helping you when you have a panic attack:
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Maeve knows you struggle with anxiety. You have been since forever.
Maeve is someone who researches a ton, and so she has found out all she can about your mental struggle.
When you’re able to, you tell her what you can. Trying to explain it in a way that she’d understand. She hates how it just adds to your struggle as you keep going in – what you assume to be anyway — circles and getting frustrated.
The school is actually fairly good with you and your struggle. They allow you to leave class when you need. It’s on one of these days that you can feel it starting. Your handshakes, you feel your heart start to race – alongside your mind.
You raise your hand, and the teacher nods, even if looking concerned.
Maeve looks even more so. She doesn’t put her hand up, however, and just goes after you.
She doesn’t have to look far. She finds you leaning against the wall, eyes shut and mind spiralling.
She runs up to you, taking her bag off while trying to also find an object inside of it. It’s a mess.
“Shit. Y/N. Ok. You’re ok. Uh, fuck, hold on,” she says as she falls to her knees, looking through her bag again.
“Here,” she says, putting a ball in your hand. Your eyes open at the contact. You squeeze it out of instinct.
“Try to follow my breathing, ok?” she asks. You look at her, eyes saying so many things to her at once. She hates it, she hates seeing you like this.
She takes a deep breath in. You try to copy. It’s not perfect, and you restart a few times, but you manage to copy her.
“And out for four,” she says, slowly exhaling. Once again, you try to follow.
“Keep on with the ball. Copy me again. You’re ok, Y/N. You’re ok,” she repeats this, alongside the breathing exercises, a few times.
She doesn’t care how much time has passed, if any at all. Right now, you’re the priority.
After a few more goes, you start to get your breathing under control.
“Are you ok with contact?” She asks. You nod, and so does she. She sits against the wall, and pulls you into her side, wrapping an arm around you and rubbing your arm.
“Tha – Thank you,” you get out, shakily, curling into yourself.
“You don’t have to thank me,” she says softly, putting her head on yours, “I’m always here.”
“I don’t—”
“You aren’t a burden on me or anyone. Ever.”
“Don’t you get bored of saying that, though?”
She shakes her head, “no. I’ll say it as many times as a have to. Do you want to stay sat for a bit longer?”
“Can we?”
“We’ll stay as long as you want us to,” she pauses as you both see a student pause and look at you both like it’s weird, “fuck off, ok,” she says, voice stern. When the student doesn’t move, she reaches her foot out, ready to give a kick with at least some power. The student runs off. She returns her head on top of yours.
“Thanks,” you say.
“Anytime. Nosey wankers, anyway.”
She’s true to her word. She sometimes moves to combing her hand through your hair as you subconsciously squeeze the stress ball you forgot you had years ago.
When you’re ready to leave, she helps you up, and gives you a once over. She checks with you again if you’re ready.
The teacher doesn’t say anything when you both re-enter, but once there has been some work set, there is a relieved smile given to you. You return it.
You then look back at your sister, giving her a grateful smile. She returns it.
She’s always got your back. However/whenever you need.
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