#i guess?? i think it’s been awhile

[keeperofthebox]

So Miraculous is as normal as ever

#miraculous #chat noir #ladynoir #adrienette #love square #keeperofthebox art #ml spoilers #i guess?? i think it’s been awhile

[obey-me-headquarters]

So, I have this particular kink that is kinda odd (shocking, I know lol), which can basically be summed up by "taking care of the sub". Especially with things that the sub is capable of doing themselves, but is either too dumb or can't do it *right*, or the dom just does it for them.

Like bathing someone, picking out their clothing, ordering for them at restaurants, etc.

It's less about the control aspect (while I do like that) and more of the act of taking care of someone. The gentle and softness aspect is something I really enjoy.

But I have a more... extreme version of this kink. It still focuses on the gentle care, but instead of taking of someone, the sub is an object. Like a precious collectible or something rare and expensive. Something that needs to be handled delicately and with care. The sub is still no more than a *thing*, but a valuable thing.

Now imagine this kink with one of the brothers. I think Mammon would very much enjoy this kind of play, especially when you show him off. Imagine having him sitting in your lap completely naked, his legs being held apart by your thighs as you talk over him. There's a few dozen demons standing around the luscious club, and a sizeable group is gathered around the couch you and your precious are sitting in.

You address the crowd of demons, bragging about your latest prize, showing all of Mammon's weak points like an appraiser would. You run your hands over his nipples, commenting about how lucky you are for finding something that is reactive as Mammon moans. Your other hand wrapped around his dick and gave it a few strokes.

One of the bolder demons asked if they could touch your treasure, but you state that it is way too delicate, and only professionals like yourself can safely touch it. All of Mammon's moans, groans, and begs for more fall on deaf ears as you and the other patrons discuss him like he's not even there.

I feel like Asmo would also really, really enjoy scenes like this. Being treated like a precious jewel? Of course, he would love that, lol. And he especially wants you to show him off. Would even rent out big venues and have you play with him on stage. But I feel like he would also like to do these scenes when it's just the two of you. There's something special about hearing how precious and beautiful he is as you play with him in your own bed.

Lucifer is also someone who would love, but also kinda hate these scenes? (If very much a "brat who hates punishments" kind of way, as in he likes it consents to it, but some part of him is torn lol) The praise is a big ego boast, but there's something humiliating about being treated like an object that both exictes him and shames him.

Lucifer would never be willing to do this scene in public or with other people around. He's already pretty PG when it comes to public affection. But if you and him are dating both Barbatos and Diavolo? Then he wouldn't mind adding them to the scene.

The scenes involving them play out a myraid of different ways. Sometimes, you're showing off Lucifer to Diavolo as he sits on his throne with Barbatos at his side. Other times it's the other way around, with you sitting on Diavolo's throne pretending to be a human ruler, and Diavolo and Barbatos acting as the demon hunters who tamed Lucifer, and now you inspect your new prize. Sometimes it's the four of you lounging in Diavolo's bed as you pass around Lucifer like he's a cool rock you found.

Anyways, I really like this kink. Who knows? I might do more with it one day. Come yell at me in my inbox if you share the kink or have thoughts about it lol.

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me dom!reader #obey me Lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me asmo #my post #i swear im still working on the part 2 to the Lucifer having a pussy fic #ive just been very very VERY tired this week so i havent had the chance to work on it #this is a quick ramble i didnt even look over so it took considerably less effort #plus i think i kinda worked myself up trying to make the fic 'perfect' since its so beloved #anyways. i had this kink for awhile but i was reminded of it bt French Fry. dont ask me why. theyre not working on anything similar. #to be knowledgeable at least. i just saw a differnet post of theirs and was suddenly reminded of these scenarios i frequently rotate #around in my brain. so like. thank them i guess if you like this???

[smallblueandloud]

i keep feeling like. there's something parallel between rose and yaz's endings. maybe parallel isn't the right word -- but i keep wanting to draw comparisons, i think because they're two characters who really defined specific doctors and for whom it's basically confirmed the doctor returned their (romantic) feelings

(they're not the ONLY ones who fit this description, but i'm in no way qualified to talk about clara or even river, so bear with me)

it just feels. i don't know. rose never leaves on purpose. she is separated from the doctor, forcibly, every single time. the doctor sends her home, or she gets stuck in an alternate universe, or the doctor leaves her in the same alternate universe. every single time, she fights to get back to the doctor. the writers had to create a perfect happy ending for her (half-human version of her doctor who'll age along with her, in the alternate universe where her father is alive) because otherwise she wouldn't stop fighting to get back to the doctor, and the show can't have that. the show needs to move on. we need rose to fade into the past.

i haven't seen all of yaz's episodes, but her arc seems very similar from the limited amount i've seen. she keeps fighting to get back to the doctor. she's in love with the doctor, and the doctor basically confirms returning her feelings, albeit in a very stilted, hesitant, doctor-y way (compare "imagine that happening to someone you--" with "and if i was going to, believe me, it would be with you").

but when yasmin's doctor regenerates... yaz is just expected to. step away, go back to living her life, never see the doctor again. kinda like the abandonment that most companions have ever experienced -- getting dropped off once and then goodbye forever! -- except with more of the onus on her. the show has to move on from rose's era, so she gets dumped on a beach. the show has to move on from yasmin's era, so yaz has to accept that the doctor is going off to die alone. she has to make her peace with that information.

i don't know. i think yaz's ending is trying to go hand-in-hand with graham and ryan's purposeful exit -- it seems like the chibnall era tried really hard to have Not Terrible endings for companions. which is very admirable! but honestly? yasmin's ending feels crueler than most, including rose's. yaz was in love with the doctor. the doctor reciprocated those feelings. they should've gotten their equivalent of s2-era 10rose! she should've gotten a chance to stay with the doctor through their regeneration, the way other love interests have been able to (s/o to river and clara!).

i know this is because of the limitations of the show. bad ratings meant chibnall left after only one regeneration, and new incarnations of the show rarely bring in characters from other eras.

but i'm still very sad for yaz :( like yes, she wasn't just dumped on the curb without warning. but she was still expected to say goodbye to someone she loved, knowing that person was dying, and not say a word of protest. if the previous history of the show is any indication, she's never going to see the doctor again. she doesn't get a half-human version of the doctor to live out her days with, and she's not "allowed" to fight to get back to the doctor, either, due to the way the show's structured (but also the way the doctor talked about them saying goodbye). she has to live the rest of her life knowing that the doctor is out there, perfectly capable of visiting, and the only reason they won't visit is because yaz is from a specific time of their life that they've moved on from.

i know she has the companion support group. and i know she'll move on! she's yaz. she's strong and self-actualized. she'll be okay, eventually. but she has to be okay, you know? she has to learn to live without the doctor. rose never had to do that.

it just makes me sad :(

#doctor who #thasmin #yasmin khan #thirteen x yaz #i guess maybe this post can be summed up by ''yaz is kinda the (nuwho) doctor's first actual ex. and her being an ex makes me sad :('' #sb and l rambles #sb and l watches dw #this post has been brimming for awhile but i sat down to write dw fic tonight and went ''i can't do this without talking about yasmin'' #i'm not criticizing the show necessarily. i know why they had to make these choices. #i think i do prefer for 13 and yaz's ''breakup'' to be a mutual understanding as opposed to 13 leaving her on a curb w/out any warning #they were doing the best they could with a limited hand #it just makes me sad :( and it makes me hope that they mention yaz in the next season #essbie? hoping the show calls back to a love interest that isn't rose?? it's more likely than you think! #i am just so attached to yaz. i didn't expect to be but god she's so great and she just gets dealt such a difficult hand :( #and she copes with it! of course she does! ....but rose never had to deal with that kind of difficulty.

[toasteaa]

hhhhhnghm...hear me out...childhood friends with the ragbros...growing up with these two boys with hearts set on adventure, wanting to go and explore the world with them. The both of them. While the three of you play, your parents meet with Diluc's father - the content of their conversations doesn't affect you now. Not immediately at least.

Seashells and pinecones the three of you collected together as children start turning into calla lilies from Kaeya and windwheel asters from Diluc; you cherish both equally and try not to show favoritism...but one bouquet gets the nicer vase. One makes your heart race a little faster. Your parents tell you of their discussions once they believe you'll be able to understand it - a marriage between the two families. You've been promised to Diluc, and when you settle with your thoughts that evening, you find yourself flustered and afraid at the same time. A decision had been made for you before you could even understand what (or more precisely, who) it was you wanted.

A confession goes unspoken the night of Crepus's death; it remains unspoken for years. You spend days with Kaeya, tending to his wounds, trying to get him to say something, anything, about what happened. You spend your nights crying over another undeliverable letter to Diluc, thoughts wandering back to the Dawn Winery standing vacant and cold beyond Mondstadt. How the three of you used to play together there, how you used to plan your journey into the neighboring Liyue, and how those plans will never come to fruition.

You don't expect Kaeya's first words after weeks of silence to be an apology, but you've come to always be surprised by his actions. Whether it's him accompanying you on an evening stroll or working alongside you silently. It stirs something in you; a cocktail of emotions, both infatuation and perhaps something deeper, that you wish you could keep bottled up and hide. But it only pushes back harder each time Kaeya's hand brushes yours, each time he manages to pull a laugh out of you, or returns from another mission unscathed.

You feel light. You feel guilty. You were promised to Diluc, not Kaeya.

And yet that guilt fades for a moment when you hear of the rumors of Diluc's return to Mondstadt. You're not allowed further than the foyer and Adelinde explains it's for the young master's privacy, but you can see the apology in her eyes. You know that she's aware of what you are - what you're supposed to be - to Diluc, but she cannot ignore what she's told. Or what she believes is best. But the rumors are confirmed and your heart hammers against your ribcage: Diluc was back. He was home.

But he's changed. When you do see him, there's no light in his eyes and his smiles (if you could call them that) are cold and closed off. But the more you return to the winery, the more you see there is something there. Something warm and familiar just beneath the icy exterior that brings heat flooding back into your cheeks. It's there in the way he says your name before changing his mind and the way he moves to reach out for you before stopping himself.

But the guilt returns. The weight of your parent's and maid's whispering of your arrangement settling heavily on your shoulders. You were promised to Diluc; raised, primmed, and prepped for a marriage to link yours with the Ragnvindr's and yet you wish Barbatos would strike you where you stood.

How could you love them both so dearly and be forced to choose one?

#toast talks #genshin impacted #this was half stream of consciousness and half fuck it we ball #Been thinking of something like this for awhile #There are also just regular Diluc arranged marriage thoughts #However Kaeya is not pleased that Diluc took up residence just as he was about to get a major update #So yeah I guess you could say this is also extremely self indulgent because I cannot choose between them #Just let me have both yeah? #I would put this in the main tags but again insanely self indulgent and idk if I could write a full fic again

[emily-mooon]

Imagine if Stacey and Neil actually met in high school except they didn’t go to the same school: they met through Kid Chameleon.

One night, Scott brings Stacey to one of their shows and it just so happens that Stephanie (or Steph) brought Neil with her.

Since they were both the youngest people there (Neil’s 17, Stacey’s 16 till December), they decided to talk to each other and they hit it off.

Stacey also develops a bit of a crush on Neil and would always ask Scott if Steph was going to bring her brother with her again, as she wanted to see him and didn’t know if there was another way.

Then one morning, she discovers that they take the same TTC bus and from then on they talk before and after school and become sorta friends. At this point, Neil also starts developing a crush on her.

Things stayed like that for about two months until Neil and his mom moved places (as I agree with the headcanon that the Nordegraf siblings have divorced parents) so they would no longer take the same bus in the morning or after school. They still have Kid Chameleon shows to meet up and talk at right? Ha ha wrong cause at New Years, the famous break up between Scott and Envy happens which in turn, also breaks up the band.

That whole break up was the nail in the coffin that strained Neil and Stacey’s kinda friendship. They didn’t have the others phone number cause they were both too shy to ask and also cause they both kept forgetting.

There also wasn’t a whole ton of opportunities to ask either of their siblings for their phone numbers so they just gave up and went on with their lives.

But then why didn’t they recognize the other in the like three times there were in the same room together? Easy answer: Stacey was distracted by everything around her to even notice Neil, who in turn, was slowly disappearing into the crowd and fully did by the time it was Lisa’s going away dinner.

So when they see each other again properly at the Chaos Theater, something clicks and they fall back into where they once were two years ago. To them it felt like a decade, but no it was just two years. They catch up on what they missed in the others lives on the walk home.

After that these dorks start dating cause the feelings were still there, just buried deep, left dormant, and forgotten. They came back but slightly different as people change.

#and that’s it! #this idea has been cooking for a little bit btw #i am an au fiend and this gets added to my long list #I have another idea where neil lives on the east coast with his mom but spent Christmas with his dad and Stephanie #he also says he’ll come visit Stacey during March break but since kid chameleon broke up after Scott and envy broke up #he didn’t get to (also cause he went on a trip with his mom instead) #the drama is there but I think I’m the only person who headcanons that Neil has family on the east coast sooooo #or hey how about he moves there with his mom since she wanted to be closer to her family #that’s another alternative #anyways try to pry this au headcanon from my cold dead hands #i love it sm #apologies if some things sound cliche deep down I’m a romantic at heart and I’m such a sucker for ppl meeting again after not seeing the #other for awhile #also sorry for any spelling mistakes it’s late at night and I should go to bed now so gn! #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim comic #young neil #neil nordegraf #stacey pilgrim #nordegrim #emilys headcanons #emilys long list of aus #i guess this counts as canon divergent too #long post #cause it is kinda long ngl

[mcsiggy]

Do yall like, know how to enjoy something w/o constantly criticizing it? don't you want to enjoy something-- anything for what it is? if it gives you joy and makes you happy, you dont have to be critical and pick a part about it to be a 'real' fan of the thing, or to show you're aware of the whatever problems it has.

just liking and enjoying it is enough.

#this has been on my mind for awhile cuz man #a lot of yall online really like to shit on others for simply enjoying any form of fiction especially if theyre not up for debating you lma #i dunno im coming from a place where im seeing so much awful legit bad things in the world that not only affect me #but people i love and strangers who are like me #i think it's good i escape in any form of fiction if it helps me digest my situation better #or even distract me from the awful stuff in the world right now #i just want to live without being overly critical and i guess so self-hating on myself for enjoying things #all for clout points or even pats on the heads by strangers who wouldnt give me the light of day if i said the wrong thing out of ignorance #or simple misunderstanding #dunno im just im not in a good spot mentally and im kind of tired of people trying to tell me how something is bad when i say i like it #even if you say you like it it's still annoying when youre nitpicking the thing #and no this isnt me doing hot takes this is me being genuine and actually concerned on the online culture of being critical #about everything

[ourstarscollided]

You’re welcome to explain your answer in the tags!

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #jatppolls #dont ask me why the number categories are like this!!! there is no rhyme or reason to them!!! #been thinking bout this for awhile now. cause it didnt occur to me that I havent watched it since i netflix party’d it with Rosie in Sept #2021… which has been… a very long time. considering in 2020 after it came out i probably watched it over 100 times in full. #there’s just something that stops me from clicking play on the show and i cant put it into words. its just this feeling i get every time my #mouse or finger hovers over the show. i also got rid of netflix this past year too but that was quite recent and i do have a copy of it on #my ipad sksjsj idk #guess im just curious if anyon else is in this weird limbo. dont get me wrong. i am still enamoured by this show but rewatching it is just #smthg i havent done in a hot minute. maybe i should make Rosie do another netflix party with me 👀 #i feel like if i was more active in a discord or on tumblr i wouldve tried to watch it with mutuals but alas i am incapable of having free #time outside of work and life. #once again i am shocked that the answers are centred in the bubbles before u click on them and it bothers me?!? #alt option: i have rewatched the show aolely through gifsets 😌 #sunset queue #<- queuing this for some reason. idk what the reason is.

[fifizero]

currently thinking about makoto’s luck and i think ppl need to understand that makoto’s luck is COMPLETELY RANDOM. it is not cyclical like Nagito’s. There’s only one way to count on Makoto’s luck and that’s if his life is actually in danger. We see Makoto in SO MANY near death experiences and there’s always some sort of deus ex machina to come and save him or he does something stupid like slip on a banana peel and just gets a bruise on his ass instead of his head caved in like. that’s the only time his luck ever reliably works. Makoto’s luck is true random. Which is why Junko finds him SO INTERESTING!!!!  She’s the Ultimate Analyst, she relies on patterns and numbers to have all her plans work. Makoto being there is by DESIGN from Junko. She wants there to be a chance that her game fails, and backfires on her so she can feel the despair of it. idk if this actually makes sense but i’ve been thinking about it a lot and that’s why Makoto’s luck is TRUE RANDOM thank you

#fifitolks #makoto naegi #junko enoshima #i guess #idk i've been thinking about it for awhile

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

Can't tell if Scott Pilgrim is genuinely leaving hyperfixation status or if this is a false alarm again, but be warned maybe?

#personal post (?) #I feel like its leaving hyperfixation status #but also ive been almost forcibly avoiding other media for awhile #in order to draw this one out longer #like a scott pilgrim vacuum chamber #so i could just be very normally consuming other media and when school picks up ill be back full swing #its not even like im not still thinking about it daily #but i will say the mania has died down #i mean obviously. #anyway. fair warning i guess.

[gruvu]

I appreciate the tf2 artists out there, drawing the crop top cosmetic for scout. But lets keep this energy, lets draw other workshop cosmetics. Let us get cosmetic tf2 community noticed. Too often I have shown cosmetics put in there and buds will go “OH that’s in the workshop?!” or “Where did you find that?” So many people do NOT check the workshop and it’s sad. Let us artists get the workshop some support!

#Was seriously thinking about making a tf2 sideblog strictly for workshop items #And I wish some tf2 youtubers would spread the word cause these creations are awesome #tf2 #rambles #Team Fortress 2 #tf2 scout #I guess I should tag him #don't expect a lot of people to see this but this has been on my mind for awhile #and the recent scout crop top love provided me an excuse

[artemisiatridentata]

showing my dad good omens 2 and during the scene where maggie bursts into tears and tells aziraphale that shes in love with nina but thinks nina hates her, my dad went “oh no :(” and I was like “what?” and he said “well, doesn’t aziraphale have a thing for maggie?” and I. you guys I couldn’t help myself. I guffawed

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #(I guess?) #I love my dad but my Fucking god he’s the most obtusely heterosexual person I know lmfaooooo #like I know it’s been awhile since he watched season 1 but HOW did az and crowley’s chemistry #completely fly over his head???? #and like I’m sorry but how did he watch any of their preceding s2 scenes without picking up on the mega gay vibes??? #like. crowley knowing all of az’s moods well enough to discern his tone from a phone call #the coffee shop convo about the naked man etc #all their little looks and smiles #THE NEBULA SCENE WHERE AZ THINKS CROWLEY CALLED HIM GORGEOUS????? #(or was it beautiful? can’t remember but u get it.) #their lack of personal space #I could go on #like if one of them was a woman my dad would’ve picked up on it so fast! he loves rom coms! #anyways it was so funny I almost spoiled the whole season out of indignation #like how can you watch aziraphale and think that man is straight I’m sorry but that’s so fucking funny

[mattodore]

okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while

xoxo <3

their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.

matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.

​i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.

as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #nsft #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like #normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously #......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk #my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information #like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest #and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up #theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him #and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well. #good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors #matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past... #but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare' #but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's #domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit #matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does #for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker #like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that. #….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭 #whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare

[suddencolds]

.

#not snz and not a vent... just passive musing #had a dream two nights ago where someone who i used to know (and love a little) wished me goodbye with a #kiss to the hand before i flew away from them forever on a magic chair #which is very stud//io g//hi//bli-esque and frankly very unserious but #the feeling of grief i felt saying goodbye to a friendship which i had once held so close to me - and which i know can probably never #be as close as it was at that point in my life - stuck with me for a long time even after i woke up #it's been something i've been thinking about for awhile... but the dream felt like such a concrete and painful severance #i think that like a childish part of me wants to hold the people i'm close to at #the same distance and trust that they will stay there forever #but logically i know it's natural that the people i met under certain circumstances might drift apart once those circumstances change #for one or both of us... i guess friendship really is just a lucky convergence at one point in time where everything aligns #like i know this and i have known this for awhile but god does it hurt #especially those kinds of goodbyes that feel so gradual... not like a clear severing of ties but just a gradual disappearance #i think i probably have to not feel so hung up over what i used to have. and for the most part i am not; life goes on #but for those people? #i sometimes just miss them #there's a special kind of hurt knowing that i could reach out to them and say hello and that they would probably respond but that it might #never be quite the same again

[causticsunshine]

wanted to share the sentiment here too but didn't feel like rewriting the whole thing lmao so here are some Thoughts i had last night on twt regarding my weird relationship with my art whilst being in fandom:

i know i've definitely talked about this kind of thing in the past but it's been a very recent development that i actually understand what's been going on with me and why i've picked up this habit of letting a fandom i'm in / a piece of media i'm really into fully dictate my creative drive. like, just because i'm very interested or invested in something, it doesn't mean i necessarily feel inspired by it or inspired by it for the duration that it holds my interest, and forcing myself to create relative art or fic or what have you for the vested interest(s) has both dampened my desire to be creative as well as my imagination. i know a lot of people can be super into something or a few random things at once and that can keep them going for ages without them running out of ideas, but in my case, things that hold my interest aren't always synonymous with my creativity and i'm just now learning that despite how obvious it seems!

i also imagine i'm not the only person who functions like this but i personally haven't seen it spoken about very often (if it even needs to idk), so i wanted to bring it up / talk about it a little bit :)

#art things #alex talks #if you've been following me for awhile or at least saw this coming before i did: does it not at all seem obvious lmao #i think the guilt i was feeling for so long over it being my 'obligation' as an artist in any fandom to only cater to fandom was also #exacerbated by some kind of impostor syndrome like... wait why is this so easy for other people also into x but not me? #makes sense now why i seem to lose steam so fast when i'm making work for one thing at a time only #i need to spice it up!! even if i come back to something eventually i can't force it! #thank u adhd my behated for another extension of my executive dysfunction but i guess #i will learn to work with it :) shedding the guilt has been the hardest part and ik i'll still struggle at times to be inspired or feel #like i need to be doing something specific to cater to other people rather than go with what drives me at the moment but #that's ok! that's life! #here's to me making a lot more art / general creative stuff 🫡 i hope the utter randomness of what i have in store #appeases at least one other person 🫶 #sidenote 1d fics will still be eventually finished but 1d art.... we'll have to see bc of the ipad wipe :') #also haven't been in the mood for awhile tbh! been into another stuff and less generally hyperfixated (thank god) #anyway onto better days and more creation!!

[carnographics]

having the tag tr/ns/ndrophobia blocked is so interesting because. i'll have mutuals who rb posts where the op is tagged that, i'll look at the post and it's a completely normal positivity post aimed towards transmascs (which is fine on its own, obviously). it's just so weird because with transfem positivity posts they never tag transmisogyny unless as a content warning. that fact that tr/ns/ndrophobia is used as sort of a community tag moreso than a content warning is so strange to me. i don't know how to specifically interpret that, but it's certainly off-putting. i have to CENSOR the word because people use it as a COMMUNITY TAG. you don't follow the transmisogyny tag or browse through posts tagged transmisogyny but i know people who do just that for tr/ns/ndrophobia. also on that topic if you're a tr/ns/ndrophobia truther (lmfao) pls go away🙏

(accessibility note: the slashes indicate the letter a)

#idk ive been thinking about this for awhile and i guess i finally have some of the words to explain why it makes me feel so strange #effie.txt

[toytulini]

fish died :(

#toy txt post #animal death #hes been. looking like shit and not eating and not showing interest in food for awhile and then #all morning today he was laying on his side just. worse than ever. i started trying to find some clove oil irl to euth him but fucking #nowhere has it. but then i got home and he was dead anyway so i guess thats moot #glad hes not suffering anymore. wish he wouldve just fucking eaten some god damn food instead of wasting away like that. hhh #i figured out why the tank feels so fucking CURSED and i couldnt get the nitrates down but idk i guess too late for him #or maybe that rando on reddit was right and the water was too hard and everything circles back to not being able to have an R/O filter #i dont fucking know #the cories and kuhlis and clown plec are okay for now i think. i think theyre fine. if they start having problems out of nowhere i really #might get superstitious for real about fish and just never talk about them ever again. god. logically i know its stupid And Yet