#i guess i had svu but man

[female-malice]

Can I ask how a homeless man ruined your friends life? I work in an area with a lot of homeless men and I’m so so paranoid about them but my (male) coworkers always make me feel like I’m a classist racist bitch for it

It's a terrible story and you don't want to hear it. But you asked, so...

It was at the park next to her house in the middle of the day. He was a homeless man sort of slumped over his stuff and crying out like he was injured. My friend was a very quixotic, outgoing, positive woman. A real people person. So of course her first thought was to help him. She walked up to him and he beat her over the head with a pipe or a bat or something. Completely knocked her out. And then he raped her with a foreign object.

She couldn't work after that. She couldn't pay rent. She fell into hard substance abuse. And then I lost track of her. She's a Ugandan immigrant but because of all her charisma, she had a wide network of friends here. But some of those friends abused hard drugs. And I guess that's all they really had to offer her.

Before the attack, she was a yoga instructor. She was a Nichiren Buddhist. She had an entire closet full of candy and chocolate and wine. She had every kind of friend imaginable. A Vietnamese mail-order bride. A rich guy with a yacht. A professional chef boyfriend. EDM festival girls. Lesbian punks like me and my ex girlfriend. She could talk to anyone. From the moment I met her, she spoke to me like a lifelong friend.

Her dad worked for a government in Uganda that was overthrown when she was 20. They were targets in danger of political assassination or imprisonment. They were high-priority political refugees who fled Uganda for an American city. She built a colorful life in that city for over a decade. She used to binge-watch Law & Order SVU. That was her favorite show. She watched it every day. She was not naïve. She just felt very strongly about helping people.

Then, in broad daylight, in a park next to her house, she tried to help a homeless man in distress. And he ruined her life forever.

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

More Precious Than Rubies: Part 2

This is an alternate timeline story that has a Rafael Barba track and a Sonny Carisi track. The two paths split off in part 3.

WC: 1696

TW: Angst; end of relationship drama; SVU-typical case about alleged rape.

AN: The prompt was "You Know Who to Call"

Sonny spent a long while getting over you.  Deep down, he worried that he would never really get over you.  He had messed everything up so badly, and he never realized how much you had brightened his life until you were suddenly gone.  He practically experienced auditory hallucinations, swearing he’d heard his phone chime with a new message – but there was never anything there.  No short, cute messages from you telling him that you missed him and couldn’t wait to see him again.  No forwarded emails about interesting legal cases.  No slightly risqué pictures, like the one you’d sent him the night before your anniversary…which he had ended up missing anyway.

And you were gone.  He guessed that you blocked his number because none of his texts or calls went through.  He sent you a few long, heartfelt emails that he was certain you deleted without reading.  But that was the thing about you:  no matter how badly you were probably hurting, you weren’t going to let it slow you down or derail your life.  As Sonny had remarked once, you had your life together in ways that Amanda never would.

He heard through his Fordham friends that you’d gotten a coveted internship with a firm that specialized in overturning wrongful convictions.  Sonny had always pictured the two of you as two sides of the same righteous coin:  him, punishing evil-doers and you, righting wrongs. 

He only saw you once in the months that followed.  You were standing on the other side of West 62nd street, so bundled against the cold that he almost missed that it was you.  But it was you – the same blue pea coat with the frayed cuffs, the same plaid scarf wound around your neck.  It made Sonny’s stomach drop, and he wanted nothing more than to dash across the street after you.  He wanted to fall onto his knees in front of you, bury his head against your stomach, and beg you to listen to the apologies that had choked him since he’d screwed up and lost you.  But a long line of traffic divided you, and when it was time to cross, he completely lost you in the crowd.

And then it was a solid year before he saw you again.

********

Rafael Barba stood on the other side of the glass with Olivia and Carisi, watching as Fin and Rollins interviewed their suspect.  A jittery young man, one Jeremy Michaels.  Freshman at Hudson University on a full academic scholarship, apparent hope of his family…and accused of raping a seventeen-year old classmate.

The evidence so far was nothing more than the girl’s word, but Barba knew it was in the early stages and SVU would probably find more for him.  His mind wandered to the other cases sitting on his desk, but his reverie was broken by the sound of heels clicking across the floor.  He looked up and saw some anonymous junior detective leading a young woman towards them.

“This is his public defender,” he said with a jerk of the thumb to the sweating young man on the other side of the glass.  Barba perked up and looked you over, and he while he didn’t miss Carisi’s sharp intake of breath beside him, the older man just ignored it. 

For a public defender, you were in a nicer suit than he’d expect, a well-cut jacket over a pencil skirt that hugged your curves nicely.  But you were young – so young that you looked like a child playing dress up.  Even with your hair swept up into a classic chignon and your perfectly manicured hand that you extended to him in greeting, you looked like you should be settling into your own dorm room for college instead of defending human trash.

“ADA Rafael Barba,” he said, wrapping your slim hand in his larger one.  “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.”

You introduced yourself.  “Newly minted public defender.”  You glanced over his shoulder at Liv and Carisi, and Barba saw you narrow your eyes a fraction before you nodded at them.  Then you pulled your hand away from his and looked through the one-way mirror.  “Is that my client?”

“It is,” Liv said after clearing her throat.  “It’s good to see you again.”

Barba’s ears pricked up at that – Liv knew you? – but you ignored the niceties. 

“I was hoping it wasn’t Mr. Michaels,” you said.  “Because it’d be a violation of his constitutional rights if you were still interrogating him after he asked for counsel.”

“Not an interrogation,” Liv started, but you cut her off.

“This ends now.  I need a moment with my client, please.”  And then Barba watched as you swept past them and barged into the interrogation room like you owned the place, hustling Fin and Rollins out with a look that he swore was nearly vengeful.  The Liv switched off the speaker, and Barba half-watched you, half-listened to the squad talk around him.

“How do you know her?” he asked conversationally, watching as you talked in earnest to the scared young man and then clasped a reassuring hand to his shoulder.

“She used to date Carisi,” Rollins finally said. 

“Huh,” Barba said.  It made sense.  You were a young public defender.  You couldn’t be that bright:  first of all, you dated Carisi.  Secondly, no one at the top of their class ever became a public defender, no matter how much of a do-gooder they were. 

After a moment, you left the conference room with your client, your chin tilted at the squad in near defiance.  “Charge him or cut him loose,” you said.  “In the meantime, if you need to bring him back in for questioning, you know who to call.” 

Then you marched out of the precinct with Michaels, your head high and your heels a steady staccato, leaving little in your wake other than a hint of some sunny perfume and a room thick with tension.

“That was awkward,” Fin said, and Barba glanced over at Carisi, noting how pale he was, how quiet.  Carisi was never quiet. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Rollins scoffed.  “We have this guy cold.  We’ll arrest him before the week is out and have him found guilty within a month.”

There was something appealing about you, the way you’d strode into that interview room, the way you’d marched back out with your head high and a fire in your eyes.  And, obviously, there were a million questions about a woman who had dated Carisi, of all people on earth. 

Barba was going to almost regret annihilating you in court.

********

You annihilated Barba in court.  You only knew about the swaggering ADA tangentially, but you knew that he relied on style points when SVU couldn’t give him solid cases. 

You always knew you wanted to be a public defender – you knew it since you were a kid who shouldn’t have to know what a public defender even was.  Let people make assumptions about your ability or tenacity.  They’d learn, eventually.

Like ADA Barba.  You saw him look you over, and you saw him make an immediate judgement about your skill.  The SVU squad knew you a bit, but they only knew you as Sonny’s sad-sack ex-girlfriend who used to linger around the precinct for a chance to see your absentee boyfriend.

Sonny knew you best of all of them, but you knew he didn’t know much.  You’d dated for over a year, and he likely couldn’t name half the things a dedicated lover should.  Did he know your favorite flower, or your favorite ice cream flavor?  Unlikely.

Did he know your family history and the preternatural zeal for competent – no, excellent – counsel for the poorest and most desperate citizens?  Even more unlikely.

You knew you’d have to defend the guilty.  You already had a full caseload, with at least three clients who not only committed the crime they were accused of, but freely admitted how much they enjoyed committing it. 

Jeremy Michaels wasn’t one of those cases.  He was innocent and never wavered from his story.  You hunkered down and built him a strong defense, and well – if revealing SVU’s slipshod practices was an outcome of the case, then it was just a happy accident.

In court, you parried every one of Barba’s thrusts, and then watched you eviscerated the state’s case.  You called in witnesses of your own.  In a move that felt so good it felt like a narcotic, you called Amanda to the stand and got her twisted in her own testimony.  Then, when she got upset, she came across as openly hostile, even when Barba tried to cross her and salvage it.  You watched at least three jury members turn on the state’s case, just like that.

And then, the coup de grace:  you exposed SVU as sloppy.  You turned in evidence after evidence of the alleged victim’s social media while the victim was on the stand.  Posts from Facebook that SVU should have found and vetted during their investigation – but didn’t.  It had taken you all of twenty minutes of idle scrolling through the young woman’s social media feed.  You had no idea how NYPD missed it.

And then you made the alleged victim read her own words for the court.  Back-and-forth threads with friends about how she, a honey-blonde white girl from the Upper East Side, was hooking up with a black scholarship kid from Biloxi, Mississippi.  And when one friend opined that the alleged victim’s father would go nuclear when he found out about his only daughter’s hook up?

“Miss Prince, can you read this last comment for the jury?” you asked, and your voice sounded so sweet and accommodating that the woman smiled before she realized what you were asking.

She stuttered, turned bright red, and then read the damning bit in a voice that was so low that you cut her off and made her repeat it. 

“What does it say, Miss Prince?”

The young woman glared at you, then read it in a steadier voice.  “It says, ‘if my dad finds out, I’ll just say he raped me.’”

And everything after that was just a formality, really.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #sonny carisi #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #tropes and tales

[kayyybenson]

How You Met - SVU Gang

Olivia, Alex, and Amanda are mother AU because I personally would love to have one of them be my mother

Sonny Carisi:

    Ironically, you used to be a lawyer. You came from a rich family that always pushed you to do your best and moved from Boston to New York after secretly attending the police academy behind your parents' backs.

    I walked into the squad room, Liv had told me ahead of time that there were some changes but I wasn't expecting a whole new seating arrangement. "Y/N, I know you and Amanda work harmoniously together but we have a new guy so you're going to break him in." She gestured towards the man sitting across from my desk. I placed my stuff down and sat, ignoring him. I wasn't trying to be rude I just had a lot of paperwork to do

    "Nice to meet you, I'm Dominick Carisi Jr. but you can just call me Sonny." He stretched his long arm across the desk and I shook it.

    "Y/N L/N. I'm guessing you're my new partner, I'm happy to be working with you, Sonny."

Nick Amaro:

    You met him at the same time Amanda met him when he walked into the squad room with a full beard. Funny thing, you moved to New York long before Amanda, you were getting tired of Kim's shit. 

    "When are you going to stop bringing new people in?" Liv asked Cragen, it was almost like she wanted to be fired.

    "When you get over Elliot. Look at Y/N, she's recovering well." Cregen pointed at me.

    "I'm only doing well because Amanda is here. I'm telling you she can read my thoughts." I whispered the last part, earning a smack on the back of the head.

    "Well don't hate me for this, I'm partnering you with a Narcotics transfer, and Amanda, you'll be with Fin."

    "Jesus Christ, another one? Was Fin, not enough?" 

    "That was uncalled for." Fin jokingly glared as the elevator opened.

    "Oh wow," I mumbled when I saw my new partner I walked up to him and introduced myself. "I'm Y/N Rollins, you must be the narcotics transfer."

    "Is it that obvious?" I nodded and he chucked. "Nick Amaro,"

    "Careful Amaro, your new partner has a bad temper." Amanda chuckled when Nick turned to you shocked.

Rafael Barba:

    You were an elementary school teacher, first grade specifically. You met Rafael when one of your student's parents raped you for giving their kid a bad grade on a test. 

    "You know I'll never be able to return to my job after this, right?" I frowned and looked at the SVU captain.

    "Well, not at that school. But maybe another school would take you." The door opened and a man in a suit came in. 

    "Ms. L/N? I'm Rafael Barba, the ADA." 

    "Nice to meet you." I scooted away, scared he would touch me.

    "Now, I understand what happened to you, so let's win this. Yeah? Tell me what happened."

    "Well, I had requested for this parent to come in for a conference because his daughter was failing all her tests, he agreed and when he was in my classroom he pinned me against the wall and raped me, he kept saying 'no one fails my daughter, this is your fault'." 

    "Well, we got enough from the rape kit to arrest him, we just need a positive ID from you." I nodded, anything to but this perv away.

Olivia Benson:

    You were found in a pimp house that the squad infiltrated, and you were around 5 years old. Your mother pimped women out to "Give them better lives"

    "Everybody get down!" I heard a voice yell, and people started rushing in and pushing people down. I quickly ran to the corner of the room, trying to escape the chaos. A woman came up to me and crouched down to my height.

    "Hi sweetie, my name is Olivia, what's yours?"

    "Y-Y/N."

    "Nice to meet you Y/N. Don't worry, you're safe now." They brought me to a hospital to check me out, and once they were done they sat me in a room with toys, No one else was there though, it was just me, in a room, all alone. I decided to draw with some crayons. The door opened and the same women from before came in and sat across from me. "Hi Y/N, do you remember me?" 

    "Yeah, you're Olivia, you arrested my mommy." I continued working on my drawing.

    "Do you know why I arrested your mommy?" 

    "Because she sold women. I was next. She said I was going to a nice man named Josh."

    "Well, you're not anymore. What are you drawing?"

    "Me and Josh. Mommy had us meet, and said I had to be broken in."

    "Sweetie, did they make you do something you didn't want to do?" I rapidly nodded.

    "Something was shoved inside of me, I said it hurt and to stop, but they didn't."

Amanda Rollins:

Amanda adopted you in Georgia, after a case that involved your older sister. You were waiting in a room in the hospital for your 'new mother'

    "Hey honey, how are you holding up?" I recognized the woman, she asked me questions about my sister,

    "Good." I made one of my Barbies hit the other one.

    "Your doll says otherwise."

    "She's fine, just a bruise." I colored a purple mark on her forehead. "If she doesn't recover I'll have a nice burial for her."

    "....Okay... Let's go home, okay?" 

Alex Cabot:

    You were the daughter of a rapist, he would use you to lure women in, they would come to babysit you then he would pull them into the bedroom. You were a main witness in the trial, going against the person who gave you food and shelter.

    "Okay, are you sure you can do this?" Detective Benson rubbed my back, we were in the hallway, waiting for Detective Stabler to come to get me to testify.

    "Yeah-yeah totally." The door opened and we were motioned to come in. "No turning back now."

    "The people call Y/N Hewwitt to the stand." I took a deep breath and sat down, bad enough that I was testifying against my own father but the crowd staring at me just made it so much worse. "How old are you Miss Hewwitt?" The blonde ADA asked. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out, I could feel his eyes on me, and when I looked over he was giving me 'the look'

     "I-I uh,"

    "Answer the question Miss Hewwitt." The judge badgered.

    "I-" my chest got tight, "my-" tears blurred my vision, "10." I pushed out trying to calm myself.

    "Stop this madness, my daughter is clearly in distress." My father tried to trick everyone, oh how I wanted to see him get locked away.

    "The witness is dismissed."

    "No-" I wheezed out. "No-I-I saw it! He did it!" 

    "Miss Cabot, control your witness." The ADA came over to talk to me but when she touched me I broke even more.

    "Don't touch me! He would look for babysitters, tell them he had a 10-year-old daughter who needed to be looked after while he was at work, he would pretend to leave then come back and drag her into the bedroom. She would beg him to stop, he did that to at least 8 babysitters." There was a pause before my father jumped from his seat.

    "You little slut! I gave you a place to live and you ratted me out! You will die for this, just like your mother!" He was dragged out and I started sobbing the ADA held her arms out to me, I accepted this time and sobbed into her chest while she rubbed my back and promised I'd never have to do that again.

#law and order svu #svu #amanda rollins #olivia benson #sonny carisi #nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #nick amaro imagine #alex cabot #law and order imagine

[popcornfromhell]

Edit2023

If i never make the first move im sorry am shy

2024 note

Uhhhhhhh imma be more active @spicypopcornfromhell

So uhhhhhh yea

m finally doing this

This is a blog introduction

Pinned post

Feel free to talk random stuff in my dm's lol

Please

Finally a tumblarina!1!1!1!111🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

Call me poppy or Silova or any feminine name you wish to assign me because i will never reveal my actual name. For safety reasons ofc👍

🐚I am fully a furry now and i think they are neat😺👍

🐚If i had a fursona they would be a non binary raccoon or a fox (or both) with a slight fem apperance with a slight chubby build. Idk lol

🐚 if i post and it is not a repost i will mark it"popcornpost"

🐚🙃If i vent i will call it "burntcorn"

IF i ever sadpost i will call it "rottencorn" (not reblog)

IF i put somthing sussy it will be marked "suscorn"(I wont)

Feel free to tw becauae it wont be that bad but more meme shit then anything buuut i care for my mutuals🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

🐚In the event i ever make a dedicated spicy acc you will find it here = no I dont wanna thx

🐚Things i like🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

I like project zomboid,mass effect,need for speed, and many more. I am lazy deel with it or guess

Transport. BE it trains planes cars boats helicopters and others im to lazy too mention

I also like femboys in a "i wish that were me" way like yall my spirit animals n shit like hell yea keep doing that shit its not even sexual yall rlly just look so...free and happy.

🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

I do not like:

Homophobia

Transphobia

Peaple burning alive(thx liveleak and certain subreddits)

Drowning(thxx internet)

Peaple yelling at me

Peaple expecting leedership from me.

Jokes about rape

Rape

Sexual assalt

Trapped in a room while law and order svu playing

Noncon stuffs

Antifurs

Peaple expecting me to. Carry a bloodline ffs i dont want kids(im not a bad father but damn the responsability ive seen what it does to peaple who keep telling me they used to be fun)

Peaple telling me to : "man up"

Telling me im not gay enough but like to my face personally like i understand pwaple make jokes

I will stop listing the bad things for now🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

Frogge 🐸

#popcornpost #pinned post

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

I would like to add. Swifties and anyone adjacent who excuse Queen Swiftie's behavior really are the scum of the earth. I was on Tik Tok as one does bestie and the way this one black woman was not defending either but pointing out that Taylor Swift rehashing her beef with Kim K and Kanye is a telltale sign that her entire career is based off being a professional victim and she is no better than the villians on shows like Law and Order SVU because she never healed from whatever happened and the way people continued to bring up what Kanye did amd Kim editing the clip and all I could say was "so why didn't Taylor sue??" If what Kanye did to her with that MV and song was so detrimental to her mental health, WHY DIDN'T SHE SUE!? She sued Olivia Rodrigo FOR a BRIDGE IN a SONG! and a college kid for having a page dedicated to cataloging public accessible information about celebrities! But she didn't sue the big bad Kanye and Kim because she didn't care! Her stans cared more, which made her jump into action. Her stans dont see that Taylor isn't a feminist. In her own words, she said that in like 2015-2016. Taylor is a girl who centers men in her life, she is only as good as who she has linked on her arm, all of her friends are phoney, she forces friendships to seem likeable amongst demographics who dont even look her way. She wants to be relatable, and sis hasnt been relatable since her debut album. The only way she can get any kind of clout is by chasing beef from years prior. I am not a Kim or Kanye fan at all, but the way Taylor is in a twisted sense of irony proving the only reason she has the clout she has is because Kim and Kanye.🤷🏾‍♀️

wait can you send the link of that tiktok? that sounds super interesting. also she sued a college student???? for THAT????

she (the tiktoker) makes a great point because taylor has sued for much less. she definitely is milking the kim/kanye thing because its been 8 years (yes 2016. that was 8 years ago) and 15 years since kanye/2009 mtv awards. she benefits from the framing kanye as “the over aggressive black man” who is mean and hurts the “innocent docile white woman” or taylor swift. that’s why her fanbase is so racist—the most visible celeb conflict she’s had have been heavily racialized aka kanye…twice.

taylor stans are too far gone and also don’t do their research. theyre not really feminists either, they just adopt whatever ideology their queen has atm and use that to defend her.

taylor is uber obsessed with men. which is funny with how much her fans are like “dont define her by her relationships!” when she literally does. like her fans even tried to guess who this album was about. like cmon…

her #GirlSquad freaks me out so bad. its so unnatural 😭 and you’re right she cements her current relevance in past beef its so weird. like why do her fans still harass jake gyllenhaal and calvin harris. soooooooooo weird

and unfortunately whether she likes it or not the mtv 2009 awards was a major turning point for her exposure into the mainstream and it was with fucking kanye 😭

#ask #anon #notyouraryang0dd3ss #kim kardashian #kanye west #anti taylor swift #anti swifties #kimye 2016

[daddydoddsjr]

Three’s Company

Pairing || Nolan Price x female!reader x Rafael Barba

Part 2/?

Contents/Warnings || Jealousy, angst, Nolan spoiling tf out of you, possessive Nolan, using money to buy love, brief SVU related work talk, implied smut, yandere vibes if you squint real hard

Authors Note || this chapter is to establish more relationship between y/n and nolan— more rafael to come in the next character !

Part 1

Nolan could tell. Of course he could. He didn’t like to admit it, but he was the jealous type; the quiet jealous type that wouldn’t say much but would dote on you the next day at some attempt to remind you that you were dating him. He could tell Rafael liked you just by his eyes. The look in them when they landed on you was the same that Nolan himself had.

His typical jealous doting began the morning after he met Rafael. He had spent the night in your apartment and woke up before you and made breakfast. Thankfully, you had the day off and Nolan’s case load was small so he called the office saying he was sick and couldn’t come in. He made chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, toast, all before you woke up. He carefully placed the plate on a tray and brought it into your bedroom.

“Y/N, honey,” He said gently, placing the tray on his side of the bed before sitting beside you. You stirred, “Nolan?”

“I made you breakfast,” He watched as you stretched, opening your eyes slowly. “Breakfast?” You repeated.

“You had enough stuff around for me to make pancakes.”

“What’s the occasion?” You sat up.

“Just… want to spoil you today is all,” He placed the tray over your lap, “Why don’t I bring you shopping after you eat?”

“Nolan… you’re sure there’s no occasion?”

“Can’t I ever be nice?” He joked with a half smile.

“I guess so,” You giggled, “Thank you.”

—

You weren’t thinking about Rafael, but Nolan certainly was. He trusted you, of course, but he didn’t trust other men. You were young and beautiful while Nolan was older and thought his looks were fleeting at this point. He was only reminded of this as he watched you try in multiple dresses in a clothing store you had led him into. He watched as your face lit up at each new dress you tried on and saw how each dress hugged your curves. He saw a younger man or two walk by or into the fitting room hallway and eye you quickly. It made his blood boil but he kept his attention on you.

You were being price conscious but Nolan still managed to convince you to get absolutely anything you wanted. He even bought a few extra things for you without you noticing. You had to admit, you loved it when he took you out for days like this. You always tried to return the favour in any way you could, and you liked to do little special things for him at random too.

When the two of you went back to your apartment, you were giddy and rushed into your bedroom to un-bag all of your new items. Nolan was keeping the things he had secretly bought for you in a bag that contained a few new shirts he had gotten for himself. He followed you to the bedroom and set his bag down, watching you lay out all of your new things on the bed carefully.

“I have a few surprises for you.”

“Oh, Nolan…” You looked at him, “How can you have more after buying me so much?”

“They’re just a few things I picked up while we were out,” He pulled a few small jewellery boxes out of his bag from underneath his new shirts. He stood in front of you, opening one of the small boxes and revealing a silver bracelet that was made of silver hearts. He took your hand and hooked it onto your wrist carefully.

“Nolan…” You began, about to thank him.

“Don’t say anything yet,” Nolan softly interrupted you and picked up another box, “Turn, face the mirror.” You obliged, facing the full length mirror that you had beside your bed. You watched him through the mirror as his hands moved around your neck, placing a necklace on your chest and fastening it. You gently touched it; it was a silver chain with a silver bejewelled heart attached it. You turned back to face him but bit your tongue to keep yourself from saying anything since he was opening the final box. He pulled out a silver and diamond embedded ring and slid it onto your left hands ring finger.

“Is this..?”

“A promise ring maybe? If you’ll agree to that.”

You teared up and hugged him tightly, burying your face into his neck, “Yes, of course I’ll agree! Thank you so much, Nolan, I don’t even know how I can repay you for this much stuff—“

“You don’t have to repay me for anything,” He hugged you back tightly for a moment before kissing the side of your head. Your grip loosened on Nolan as you back away slightly just to kiss him. He kissed you back, and you spent the rest of the night showing him just how much you appreciate him.

(links to the ring, necklace, bracelet)

—

Rafael was back at SVU to speak with Olivia and Fin about some evidence on a current case; you were at your desk checking out a website on your computer that you thought contained pictures underaged girls in illegal activities for their ages. When Rafael exited Olivia’s office, he hesitantly walked up to your desk. He just wanted to make small talk about normal things. Work, the weather, family, literally anything. He was hoping that continuous normalcy between the two of you would help his feelings for you go away, especially along with the knowledge that you had a boyfriend.

“Y/N,” He greeted.

“Hi, Barba,” You smiled at him, leaning back in your chair and taking a break from staring at your computer screen, “How are you?”

“Overworked,” He gave you a half smile, his eyes landing on the necklace you were wearing before trailing down to your wrist to see a bracelet that was peaking out from your blazer sleeve. He had never seen you wear this jewellery before. “Those are pretty,” He pointed them out.

You grinned, “Right? Nolan bought them for me yesterday when he brought me out shopping. I didn’t even know he had gotten them until we got home.”

“Oh,” Rafael regretted asking now, “That’s sweet. They look beautiful on you.”

“Thank you.”

Rafael quickly moved to another topic, trying his normalcy tactic, but as soon as he left the station he felt his heart plummet to the bottom of his stomach. He didn’t know how long he could keep this bottled up.

#law and order svu #l&o: svu #raul esparza #rafael barba #svu #rafael barba x female reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfic #nolan price fanfic #nolan price x reader #nolan price #og law and order #law and order fanfic #law and order #hugh dancy

[storiesofsvu]

Happy Thursday hoes, let’s get to it!

Todays pros: citytv thinks im in TO so I’m getting it started at six!

Cons: no subtitles.

Alright, OG up first.

Love this new detective that’s a fanboy of everyone, makes me miss rollins lol

Pls let it be a female perp. We love a good female perp.

Okay seriously, this very subtle shaky cam is fucking terrible and hurts my head.

The GROAN I let out at the sight of Samantha in her well fitted pants suit sitting there like a fucking badass pissed off look on her face. Ma’am. Please. (yes, she is the only reason I watch this show)

Okay, the pedo may be the only eye witness, but they still have blood on the murderers pants, don’t they? Would that not tie it together enough? Or is it because the eye witness was the one who lead them to him? God I hate the legal system.

I REALLY wish this show would show more of the arguing between Nolan and Sam, like these two do NOT see eye to eye or have the same opinions on basically anything. And while I know major fighting would be called unprofessional, we at least used to see the lawyers get into it, or bantering. There’s so many times that you can tell just by the look of her face that Sam’s pissed, that she doesn’t think highly of him or his decisions on cases, like she hates him. I wanna see that play out on screen LOL

SVU time!

Let’s see if this week is any better than the last ones

Liv back in therapy, we love to see it.

A crumb of EO? Will that keep the crazies at bay? (like, I don’t even ship it but fuck am I sick of it now, the baiting is hella annoying and terrible, make it happen or not, don’t keep leading the actual ship fans on…)

Uhhh… is there not some kind of patient dr confidentiality? Like this bitch could have just lost her job (esp with someone like mcgrath involved… wtf..)

ITS THIS KIND OF SHIT THAT MAKES ME FERAL. In previous episodes they’ve had situations where shrinks couldn’t testify when they were the ONE witness, and like the entire case went into the trash because of it based off this exact type of situation… where TF is the continuity??

Okay… so she’s a minor so I can see the loophole here, BUT the therapist should have told her parents….

I knew it wasn’t the math tutor…

Ok… so mcgrath threatens to kill the math tutor, but when they’re picking up the son across the street he goes rage on benson?? And the iab captain? Shouldn’t you be attempting to punch the kid or something? God I really hope this ep is his last…

“can you drop that to me?” good thing Bruno’s there cause fin would have ZERO ideas on how to do that…

“until the age of 25 the male brain is about as useful as an electrified meatball” jfc… that wins for best line of the night.

Where the fuck is Velasco? Like.. man deserves his paycheques too..

Okay, mcgrath’s wife needs to shut the fuck up, liv’s trying to help her daughter and she accuses liv of gunning for mcgrath’s job.. jfc..

I was expecting mcgrath to throw hands not pull out his fucking GUN jfc… and like.. that was infront of two cars, that’s gonna be on a dash cam somewhere…

This is one of those one case turns into 4 but there’s only 5 mins left of the episode… cmon…

“I guess I didn’t see it in myself…” THANK YOU I was just gonna bring up the whole half assed back plot of mcgrath being abusive… (which is on par for cops, and ironic that the woman playing his wife was the wife of a cop who abused/raped her in 1.o)

This very much seems like a good bye. Pls let it be a good bye. Petition to bring back Garland!

Okay… im confused, I looked at my phone for 5 seconds and lost track of what was happening. Is the iab captain joining svu, cause that doesn’t work…theyre both captains. Or is she saying she’ll be filling in for mcgrath in the meantime??

Onto OC!

Okay, I am incredibly thankful for carisi on oc, but he’s the *sex crimes* ada.. not the only Manhattan ada, he wouldn’t be prosecuting this case… lol

Me: “wait I thought he was an officer.”

Reyes: “detective?” *side eye*

Me: ah yes, okay he was promoted the writers didn’t forget between weeks.

God this entitled pos teenager… wtf… its not *your* house bitch.

Ah, thank god, here’s the arguing that was missing in OG, not surprised its Elliot. Lol.

Oh god..the bratty teen overheard that didn’t she? Fuck..

God… this girl is gonna blow the entire thing, isn’t she? Like, in todays day and age with all the social media and how teenagers (and some adults) don’t know how to go without it, there’s no way they’d cut contact with everyone and delete socials and keep things quiet.

Aaaaaannd here we go. 5 seconds in and she’s blown their new location. (also WHY would the cops even tell them the location? That seems like something they wouldn’t do until they were halfway there…)

Okay… we’re missing a daughter.. I don’t know if this is supposed to be Maureen or elizabeth but I’m assuming liz as it looks like her kids are twins and she was the twin… Also where’s dickie? (I know the brother said something about someone not being able to get a flight? Im just deaf and without subtitles I couldn’t tell ya what exactly was said lol)

How old is this younger brother supposed to be? The only info online I can find is the actor is 50 which im not sure I believe.

Okay there’s dickie he’s in the background!

These guys KNEW they were in a high risk situation and none of them have a vest anywhere near them? ARE WE DUMB?! IS IT OUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB?

Okay, there’s the other kid.

Maureen and Kathleen giving side eye while sipping their drinks while the tea is being spilt is the highlight of this moment.

This is SOOO awkward for everyone else at the table jfc… ESPECIALLY Eli’s poor girlfriend.. like. Welcome to the family drama, don’t worry we never have to come back…

Why the fuck did jet not grab the other gun?!

Me: unfazed at Elliot body slamming a teenager.

Bell: *casually* “I’m shot”

Me: ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING IF WE FUCKING LOSE HER I WILL ACTUALLY RIOT.

(BUT ALSO MAY WE STEP BACK TO 8 LINES EARLIER WHERE I WAS YELLING ABOUT THEM NOT HAVING VESTS ON?!)

I knew this other captain was going to be coming more into play, but im pissed its cause bell’s out with a gunshot wound.

Christ.

Okay well, another week and OC is continuing it’s reign as superior of the three!

Some pics for context/hilarity

#law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order organized crime

[abfa-fics]

It’s been a long day. Hell, a long week…a long month. A long few months, when he reflects upon his time being undercover.

He switches on the television mindlessly, dropping the remote down as he wanders through to the kitchen, his growling stomach leading him over to the fridge. The shelves are insultingly bare.

‘Of course there are no leftovers,’ he mutters under his breath.

‘Tanya Garcia went missing from Paramus, New Jersey over a year ago,’ a man’s voice announces loudly from the television. Elliot pauses, recognition flashing up. A man odious in personality and temperament - someone Elliot would love to punch, if given half a chance.

‘But now thanks to the tireless work and dedication of the NYPD and Bergen County SVU, she is home and reunited with her mother,’ McGrath continues. Elliot abandons his search for food, striding back into the living room, where his gaze sweeps right past McGrath’s face on the screen in order to find someone else.

Olivia, standing underneath an umbrella, her expression tired and serious. McGrath is spouting all sorts of PR-style bullshit about the NYPD, but Elliot can sense immediately that there’s more to this case, more than a young girl’s homecoming.

Olivia wouldn’t look so haunted if this was a simple happy ending.

‘There are other-’ McGrath says, but his next words are cut off by a soul-crushing shriek of pain.

The cameras swing around, focusing in on a woman, her hair plastered to her head as she staggers through the rain.

‘What about my daughter?,’ she screams. ‘You promised me you’d find my daughter.’

The news crew are clearly loving this unexpected drama playing out in front of them, zooming out to capture the full scene. Elliot takes a step forward instinctively at the same time as Olivia on his screen does the same, desperate to shield her from the impact of the pain and anger being channeled her way.

Olivia’s saying something to the mother now, her body language calm and measured, but her words are carried away by the wind and the rain. McGrath stands uselessly by the microphone in the background, and Elliot feels his hatred for the man rise.

His phone is gripped in his hand, but it’s useless, the words ‘LIVE’ glaring out at him as a cruel reminder that right now, in another part of the city, Olivia is dealing with this while he simply watches.

The pain had always been one of the worst parts of working in SVU. The pain, the anger, the tragedy…the guilt. It washes over you, again and again, case after case. Until for him, the pain and guilt had become too much, and he had walked away.

Left Olivia to deal with it alone.

‘Where is Maddie?’ the mother screams, loud enough to be heard by everyone as her husband drags her away.

Except Oliva doesn’t have to be alone any more. Elliot doesn’t even bother to turn off the television before he’s racing out the door, not even second-guessing where she’d go after such a trying event. Home? Not Olivia Benson, not after that guilt-trip from a victim’s mother.

He arrives at the precinct before she’s back herself, barrelling past the desks and Fin’s questioning gaze, and settling himself within her office to wait. Surprisingly, no-one disturbs him.

It doesn’t take long.

‘El?’ Olivia says, pausing in the doorway. She’s beautiful as always, but her expression is even more worn out than he’d seen on the television.

‘Hey,’ he says, wishing he had thought of something eloquent to say.

He watches as Olivia hangs up her coat, her body language hesitant, as if she doesn’t know whether to step towards him or around to her desk.

‘I got your voice message,’ she says to break the silence. ‘Sorry I didn’t call back yet. Work has been…’

She waves her hand vaguely, and he nods. He knows.

‘Was there something you were wanting to discuss?’

She’s looking at him carefully, and a sinking realization sweeps over him - that she’s expecting there to be a problem with him, that maybe he’s come back from being undercover, and bringing her his trauma to solve.

He closes the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She tenses briefly, and then he feels her body shift as she sighs deeply, relaxing against his frame. Her arms tighten around his waist, face tucked into chest.

The world continues around them, but for a few minutes of peace, they hold each other upright.

#olivia benson #elliot stabler #eo #bensler #law and order svu #elliot x olivia #law and order oc

[bullet-prooflove]

Together - Mike Duarte x Joe Velasco x Reader

So this mad little idea got into my head this morning in the shower. This is my first time writing a Throuple so I hope I have done them justice.

Thank you so much to @storiesofsvu for encouraging it.

Mike could tell something was wrong as soon as Joe entered through the apartment. He felt his hackles rise as the atmosphere changed fractionally. He had always been good at intuiting moods, and he barely needed to glance at you to know that you felt it too. His head was bowed as he took off his jacket, hanging it on the coat hook he had installed alongside the door. He refused to meet either of your gazes as he toed off his shoes and headed towards the bedroom closing the door quietly behind him.

There was a pain in Joe, not something physical but something wounded deep down inside, and Mike hated it. He could feel the agony stabbing in his heart, the compulsion to follow Joe into the bedroom and question him relentlessly until he spilled his guts. He forced himself to stay seated on the couch before he tilted his head towards you, his thumb grazing over the curve of your shoulder as he spoke.

“You seen him like this before?”

You were the one with history with Joe, the two of you had been friends throughout your tenure at SVU before you made the switch to Hate Crimes. Although you and Mike had been together a few of years, him and Joe had only struck up an acquaintance when they’d worked a case together. Over the past two years it had become a lot more, the three of you navigating the waters of this relationship.

Mike was happier than he’d been in his entire life, he couldn’t believe he’d found one soulmate, let alone two. He was protective of his tiny family, attuned to the ebbs and flows of the connections between the three of you. He usually saw trouble coming a mile off, diffusing issues before they caused friction but tonight…

He didn’t know this version of Joe, didn’t know how to combat it.

“Something’s got in his head.” You answered, your gaze shifting to the closed bedroom door.

You knew what it looked like when Joe had a bad day, when he was stressed, angry, when he was sad, but this felt different. This felt like he was shutting you both out and it hurt.

“A case?” Mike asked.

He had seen Joe after some truly awful cases. Mike recognised the darkness in his eyes, the anguish. On those nights Mike held him close, his body spooned around the younger man as you caressed his face, peppering it with soft kisses as you whispered the sweetest words. He would fall asleep between the two of you, his fingers entwined with Mike’s on his stomach and his face buried in the curve of your neck.

You shook your head in response to Mike’s question.

“Something else.”

Mike tapped his free hand on this thigh for two beats. He could still feel Joe’s suffering, it was an acute pain that lanced through his chest like a fucking spear, and he couldn’t stand it.

“Fuck it.” He said raising to his feet and heading towards the bedroom tugging you along with him. “We’re not gonna figure it out sitting in here.”

Joe’s holdall was on the bed when you entered the room, the clothes he had jammed into it were spilling out of the top as he tried to force the zipper closed.

“I guess the two of you can’t take a hint.” He mumbled, slinging the bag over his shoulder before tilting his head up to look at you.  His eyes were red rimmed, he looked exhausted, wrung out.

“You’re leaving?” You heard the way your voice broke as you took a step forward towards him.

“Look.” He said standing before you both. “I…”

He trailed off, his lips pressing together in a grim line.

Mike was already in front of him, his touch tender as he clasped Joe’s jaw lightly so that the other man was looking into his eyes.

“You don’t think we love you.” Mike deduced, his thumb ghosting along the line of stubble that marred Joe’s cheek. “That we don’t care about you. That’s not true mi amor,” There was a fierceness in his voice as he continued, an honesty that wrenched at your soul. “I have spent my whole life on my own and now I have been fortunate to find two people who I would give my life for, who I would kill for, who I love without any reservations, and you are one of them Jose. Never doubt how deeply I feel for you.”

“You mean the world to us Joe.” You told him, your cheek pressing into his back as you wrapped your arms around his waist holding him close. “I love you so much it scares me sometimes. When I think about how happy you make me, how happy you make Mike… I feel like my heart is full you know? Like it’s going to burst right out of my chest.”

You laughed into the fabric of his shirt.

“It sounds as cheesy as shit but that’s how I feel and I’m sorry if I haven’t been more open about it.” You told him. “I’m not great at articulating how I feel.”

“Mi amor. She’s terrible.” Mike told Joe, his lips twitching up into a small smile. “It took me years to figure out she wanted to sleep with me.”

Joe drew away from you both before taking a seat on the edge of the bed and rubbing his palms over his weary features. You sank down onto the mattress beside him, your hand clasping his knee gently, your thumb tracing the indentation. Mike took up residence on the opposite side, his fingers entwining with Joe’s.

“It’s just been such a shitty day.”  he told you, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s my dad’s anniversary and after all this time he still gets in my head. It’s like he’s somewhere deep inside of me, telling me I’m not good enough, still beating me down.”

Mike’s jaw tightened. You had both seen the scars on Joe’s back from the belt his father had used. You’d heard the story of the night he had almost killed him, and it cut so fucking deep. If that man was live, the two of you would have murdered him for the emotional and physical hell he had rained down on his son.

“You should have told us.” You murmured, your cheek coming to rest in Joe’s arm. He tilted his head towards you, his lips brushing gently over your hairline.

“I know.” He uttered, sighing into your hair. “I thought I could handle it.”

Mike’s grip on Joe’s hand tightened.

“You have us now.” He reminded the other man. “You don’t have to handle anything alone.”

Tagging: @nessamc @xmoonknightlyx @jayblackpanther @crazy4chickennuggets @annetje @mysoulisasunflower @littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @plaidbookss @misscharlielulu @witches-unruly-heart @kimm4710 @ednastvincent @magic-multicolored-miracle @rosaliedepp @cycat4077 @cixrosie @themisunderstoodblackswan @im-just-a-mississippi-girl

#captain mike duarte #mike duarte x you #mike duarte x reader #mike duarte #mike duarte x Joe Velasco x reader #joe velasco x you #joe velasco x reader #joe velasco #jose velasco x reader #jose velasco x you #jose velasco

[itsdappleagain]

THIS WEEK'S THE WEEK, FOLKS hopefully

IM GOING TO TRY TO CATHC UP ON CS WEEKLY AW YEAH!! ALRIGHT YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

IT'S TIME FOR THE CHASING PAPER CAPER!

(look how cool these stars are they actually are sharp!! i folded a few of them, look!)

highly recommend- super easy to do with just sticky notes

ANYWAY here we go!!! notes under the cut as usual <3

MAN i am late on this episode but i am soo excited for it!!!

maelstrom wins for worst eyebags

sdjjfd mael's like yeah 💅 perhaps I am a little deranged

mael's va put his pussy into saying "intellect"

everyone and their mother has made vile presentation power point jokes already so im not going to beat a dead horse but. yeah. thats so fucking funny

CLEO ROLLS HER EYES AT BRUNT TOO HAHAHA

this bitch i stg

the way she smacks that table when she says darn right. i do believe her. she is texas proud. she would hate abortion

i also like that the show uses brunt as a vessel for the american seven year olds watching this who also have no idea what the magna carta is. its cool

i had no idea there were seventeen original copies of the magna carta. i guess i should have guessed but i think im used to the constitu- never mind there are 13 copies of that too. okay well we're learning today

okay so i think the museum the magna cartas is in is the Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vastu Sangrahalaya?? it looks very similar

in style, if a little changed for the show. really cool! i guess they didnt want to have to try to pronounce the name though

law and disorder (svu theme chime)

stealing paper, yes. but have you considered that paper star also. folds and throws and destroys with that paper and is generally NOT great at keeping it intact

bark bark i love watching season 1 through a post-shadowsan reveal lens. he knows paper star IS a threat, unlike most of the other operatives, so he opposes the idea,,

love maelstrom just cutting shadowsan off with a vote. he's stealing the symbols of democracy so his colleagues cant keep skipping out on majority rules

there actually is a cafe on the museum grounds that isnt EXACTLY where carmen is sitting but is pretty close. cs team did their research with this one

some guy named john is so funny

player jumped from the very general "you can't be arrested for no reason" to "YOU CANT HAVE YOUR HORSE TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU" very quickly

well there isnt actually any "of the liberties" in the direct translation but alright

love how they have the english article "the" in the title of the magna cartas while talking about how its latin wheeze

rest in piece 3/4 turn views of the face. the carmen sandiego artstyle is beautiful until it has to neogotiate carmen not having a nose

interesting that the museum gets subtly lighted in green. we alll know what that means

i like the dramatic reveal of paper star but i also think. how did player not notice the security cams were already down

she had a lil choker

i love paper star so much. she's fantastic

she does make horse noises when she skips though, which is why jo likes her so much

yeah. paper star is so cool

hmmm

THEY HAVE NEVER WRITTEN A BETTER AND MORE DEFINING LINE IN THIS SHOW THAN "RED IS A SMART COLOR FOR YOU. IT WILL HIDE THE STAINS." WHAT THE FUCK THEY POPPED OFFF ON THAT LINE

SHE SAYS IT AND CARMEN CANT DO SHIT SHE JUST RUNS. CARMEN IS LITERALLY ON THE DEFENSIVE ALWAYS IN THIS FIGHT KSHFDSH ITS SO GOOD

you know shit is real when someone protects the face

i love how carmen puts her fists up to fight like a normal operative v carmen fight and then ps just pulls out the stars its so funny. its like the indiana jones scene when he just pulls out a gun

YES this fight is a challenge for carmen and i LOVE IT

LITERALLY WHAT COULD BE BETTER CARMEN ALMOST GETS STABBED IN THE NECK ITS GREAT. PAPER STAR IS A GREAT VILLAIN. YEAH

so glad kimiko glenn could voice her god she does such a good job

paper star used up the smear frame budget in this one scene alone

i love how carmen tries her quip and fight formula again and AGAIN paper star is like. no <3 i am going to rip you to shreds with this terrible pun i made up and carmen is SO OVER IT JSDHGHS

love how carmen didnt move like girlie what did you think she was going to do with those pamphlets

papertiger fans go wild

no way did that fucking tiger decapitate a stone statue what the fuck does she put in there knives??? paper star gives children razors in their halloween candy i guess

once again carmen's love for saving things that she has mostly already ruined causes her to have a disadvantage! it sure would suck if another falling statue at some point was weaponized. that would suck

LOOK AT THE GOUGES THOSE PAMPHLET STARS MADE WHAT THE FUCK

the cut hat staying there is so funny to me for some reason

dont try to be sneaky, carmen. just walk right up the center

the transitions with the tapestry and paperstar's folds are cool as fuck

HOW DID SHE GET UP THERE

also she disappears behind that second tapestry which means she was clinging onto the back of the fabric like a koala. good image

paper star: wraps carmen in a tapestry s4 evil carmen in the finale: hey that was a good idea. julia come here

paper star is the queerest bitch on the map at all times and i love her so much for that

laughing so hard imagining how many takes gina had to do of carmen's pained moaning as she struggles in the paper wrap

yeah. paper star. okay as if i haven't gushed about her enough she is. so good. the little mm-mm-mm! as carmen struggles. going against all of vile's ideals as she leaves traces EVERYWHERE and then pulls the fire alarm, not hiding in plain sight at all. she leaves carmen wrapped up for the cops. yeah. god. yeah

least favorite part of this episode of carmen being more upset about her hat than she is about losing The Fucking Magna Cartas and GOOD GRAVY SHE MOANS ABOUT THE HAT FOR SO LONG CARMEN YOU HAVE LIKE FIFTEEN

i love seeing the remains of the fight when acme steps in the next day!! you can track where paper star shot at carmen and then wrapped her up, where she was firing on the first floor, the different types of paper..

where did paper star put that glass circle she cut out

chase just randomly picks up evidence barehanded and then tosses it to the floor 2. fuck him fuck him straight to hell. so glad this is a pro-julia episode jhfashgdfa

all she does is romanticize the scoundrel it is all she CAN do

yeah acme is secret and not even their families know about it. but also every cop ever knows about it too okay

chase. thats it thats the post (i dont actually hate him. hes funny. but also insufferable at times. that is our wife you are slandering, sir)

i cant tell if i want to make a joke or a serious comment about how she's doing a finger gun at the image of carmen so i'll just leave it here

FULL OF LOVE AND AUTISM

chase: the only agent who has been face to face with her the train scene: i am about to ruin this whole man's career

HAH. says player. next on the news

(eda voice) look its an outdated human reference

why was le chevre up there. did he come down from the cliff face just for fun. or scale it just for fun. nevermind that checks out

the people in this show have ankles of steel they be dropping 20-30 feet and just fine with it

everyone tries to banter with paper star and she just. no

the shifty glance around from le chevre shdgkjsghd

the drop in her tone and face when she says he looks like he would get caught is so good

PIPPI PUNKSTOCKINGS

she is straight up torturing this guy how did paper star get past the censors

its like he was swinging his dick around in her face and going NOO NOT MY DICK PLEASE NOT MY DICK you are literally offering them as targets sir they are the closest thing to her

and from that day on fanfiction writers across the globe only called her tammy again

rOLL CREDITS /ref

oh i havent mentioned the music in this episode yet. its so good. yeah

the animation also is beautiful. the train is very nice w/ the reflections in the water

and then chase showed up to ruin her day

THE LITTLE tsk. ugh. SHE DOES IS SO FUNNY

i love how she's just humoring him he's not even in the realm of worth her full attention

honestly impressed by how chill chase is in the conversation? last time he was on a train with "her" he whipped off "her" hat and screamed in "her" face. then with ivy he jumped her snowmobile and triumphantly yelled at her again

he's just kind of like. yeah cool. im around carmen sandiego. we should have a lovely chat and then i shall get her to lead me calmly to the magna cartas. this could not possibly go wrong

love chase where did he think she was hiding them

awww theyre holding hands

criminal of this show to not show her kicking his ass in the tunnel it would have been soo funny

i love the little fakeout they do in the tunnel too. like omg did he cuff her??? no she used an uno reverse card

ALSO the little details of this show. before carmen says "or what? you'll cuff me?" she glances out the train window. she already has this scene so perfectly choreographed in her mind that she can just time the tunnel and make her escape its so good

acme keycard!!!! little did carmen know that pickpocketing that card would lead to coach brunt most of the way murdering her in a basement a few weeks from now

HERE WE GO YOU GUYS THE GAY SCENE OF ALL TIME

AGAIN julia is on her tablet gosh i dont know why i dont ever think of her as tech savvy but she is ALWAYS tapping on that thing

julia is so nice to her carmen just. sits dsgjagkdsh

THE WAY SORRY CAN YOU IMAGINE IF SOME RANDO HOT LADY SAT DOWN ACROSS FROM YOU WITH NO PERMISSION AND THEN JUST WENT PARTNER 🤨🤨🤨🤨???? AT YOU WHEN YOU MENTIONED THE WORD LIKE SHE WAS DOING HER MAKEUP (so it seemed) AND SHE JUST. DROPPED EVERYTHING

is the plausible reason that "partner" set off cop warnings in carmen's head? yes. but is the gay reason that she wanted to make sure she wasn't about to flirt with some poor married woman? also yes is the gay response to this gay reason julia canonically going "NO GOD IM NOT WITH HIM WITH HIM"? yes and yes!!

THE IMMEDIATE JULES GOD

julia puts down her tablet and gives her FULL attention to carmen to talk about the taj mahal,,, yeahh....

ALSO i enjoy how carmen maneuvers the conversation. she asks julia's name and then immediately asks an engaging question afterward so that julia doesn't think to ask for HER name...

love how julia leans forward to talk to carmen augh...she is so engaged and relaxed

that line is so fucking iconic. the Eyes she's giving. the lean. she loves history even more. the fucking setup for way down in season 4

HAHAAAA JULIA PICKS UP ON THAT LITTTLE TINY CLUE CARMEN DROPS HER SO FAST AND I LOVE THAT SO MUCH...THE WAY SHE JUST IMMEDIATELY SITS UP AND HER BRAIN GOES wait a minute something about that remark wasn't right YEAH...YEAH YEAH YEAH

AND THEN SHE JUST STANDS UP OUT OF SHOCK ONCE SHE REALIZES WHO SHE JUST CHATTED WITH HEHEHE

god i honestly think that if chase hadn't been putting her down and scoffing at her interests and making her stay behind at crime scenes she would have gone after carmen. can you IMAGINE how different the episode would have been if she'd gone after her???? GOD (i can imagine....i have imagined....the polycule has done....a LOT of imagining...)

that liiiittle glance behind that carmen does to see if julia is following her before she starts focusing on paper star..

man i NEVER used to be able to figure out how paper star sensed carmen peeking around the corner but i realized about a year ago that she saw her reflection in the window...AUGH the little details of this show are so good

THE WAY CARMEN JUST POUNCES ON HER IS SO FUNNY

that gay little roll. paper star makes every fight just a little gay actually. now kiss

those shoes must have hurt so bad to get kicked with ow

second toilet paper joke of the episode. laugh.

i love the pro-environment message this episode was halfheartedly trying to juggle. it did not come across fantastically

the way paper star's eyes light up when she sees new paper is great

PAPER STAR'S THEME IS SO GOOOD....HOW SHE JUST. she just goes. "you should run." somehow she's the most campy villain and the most down-to-earth serious threat could and would kill you villain in the show and she rocks both at once

paper star is vaccuming her

you also know shit gets real when the background turns into a mass of colored streaks

i ALSO love about paper star that she can and does hold her own in hand-to-hand. yeah she's bet with her stars but she can pack a punch or a kick

TELL ME HOW CARMEN NABBED THAT CASE IN THE MILLISECOND BETWEEN PAPER STAR GRABBING THE PAPERS AND DRAWING BACK

carmen: yes i do think i will run now

i also like this fight because we don't often get to see carmen fighting when she's not in her trench coat. it gives it a much more sporadic, caught-off-guard feel to the whole thing somehow- which is again a trademark of paper star!! she doesn't do things like everyone else

something about the way carmen sprints to the end of the train and then turns around is so fucking funny. yes that is the last car! congratulations! its a good thing you came up here instead of trapping yourself in the interior of the last car I guess

rock paper scissors wind

THE FLIP OVER THE SHOULDER GAY STARE IS ALSO ICONIC AND SUCH A GOOD MOVE. carmen initiated it but fuck if she knows what she's going to do afterwards

ill say it again and a fcuking gain how much i like how much of a threat paper star is. yes girl. fling her off the train not once (sort of) but twice. carmen was an inch away from falling headfirst off that train and she knew it

i am not sure how exactly carmen pulled herself up from a lean by grabbing paper star's boobs and pulling her towards her but im good with it. also look at this animation she is desperate!! yess!!!!!! EMOTION!!!!

AND LEGO HANDS!!!!

now KISS

OBSESSED WITH HOW STRONG PAPER STAR IS WHEEZE SHE JUST F L I N G S CARMEN OFF THE SIDE. HER FEET ARE OFF THE FLOOR. BYE

the couple not even looking up from the newspaper is so funny

i love the broken physics of that vent(?) cover (?) throw its extremely entertaining to watch

carmen's triumph motif playing and then cutting to paper star just hanging there while a crow squawks at her is very funny. she just looks at it. i would like to think she makes friends with it. she does like murder

"agent devineaux??" "mnyeh.."

AND SHE DELIVERS THE MAGNA CARTAS TO HERRRR

good hands :))))

i love that she doesn't even need to say anything. we are just left to understand that paper star did end up one-upping her here in the end, and its this moment that nearly kills both her and chase

sassypants

i like the contrast of brunt and cleo shielding themselves when she throws the card, versus maelstrom standing and not flinching. he knows her better than they do

damn

i thought that was a vase theyre just his pants

HEHEE GOD THATS A GOOD EPISODE. yeah. yeah. okay

thats all i have to say for this one. other than the french connections caper this is my favorite episode in season 1!!

#carmen sandiego #cs weekly #csweekly

[lily-174]

difficult memories- sonny carisi x reader

overview: your ptsd, something you left the army with is unpredictable luckily sonny is there to help.

trigger warning: mentions of war getting shot, being beaten

**

dating a detective wasn’t exactly the easiest thing, especially being a firefighter yourself with long hours. sometimes you couldn’t see him for days when he got a case, and with your 24 hour shifts.

but it was all worth it, sonny was the best. you’d been in relationships before but never like this. he was the most respectable man you’d ever met. he’d never once made you feel down, or pressured to do anything you didn’t want to do. he treated you like a princess and after being in the army for almost 7 years the security you felt being with sonny was needed, especially battling ptsd.

sonny was such a caring guy, sometimes he forgot you could fight better then he could. he’d always make sure you messaged him when you were out alone and if he could he’d come and pick you up, he didn’t like when you were out alone in the dark. but being an SVU detective you couldn’t blame him for his worries, you couldn’t imagine seeing the thing he does on the daily.

working as a firefighter you’d become accustomed to things triggering your ptsd, explosions, people hurt things that reminded you of Afghanistan. you’d learned to deal with your ptsd just before you got with sonny, he knew you suffered with it, but in the year you’d been together you’d been doing okay. so you hadn’t really spoken to him about it in detail.

sonny was in the bullpen filling out paperwork with the rest of his team when amanda came back from getting coffee with a look of concern on her face.

“did you all see the news??” she questioned walking into the bullpen, everyone’s head shot up to look at her with confusion.

“there’s been a bombing a few blocks south of grand central terminal, they think there gonna be another attack they’ve cleared the surrounding area. the fire department are digging through the rubble looking for survivors” sonny suddenly felt consumed by worry for you, another bomb? you’d definitely been called out to it. he knew you were definitely there.

“terror attack?” olivia questioned from the door frame in her office, your shift was set to end a few hours after sonny. he knew you could handle yourself, he just had to keep reassuring himself.

“i guess, they haven’t confirmed anything” Amanda answered.

sonny had to stay at work, he knew you’d be upset if he didn’t. there was nothing he could do, it was your job, and running around with a gun was his. you both faced dangers at work. you had to find ways to deal with the worry that consumed you both. he sent you a few text throughout the rest of his shift hoping you’d reply but knowing realistically you wouldn’t, you’d be swamped with patient’s and helping people.

sonny had you on his mind all day, he worried about you every time you were on shift but this was different the mention of another bomb scared him. but he kept reassuring himself, police and bomb squad were definitely on scene too.

when he finally finished his shift after a multitude of reassurance from himself he got home, deciding to cook to calm his nerves, and you’d have a nice dinner to come home too, so that’s what he did.

he had a small glass of red wine as he cooked, and just as he finished cooking he heard the door open.

“yeah thanks ben i appreciate it but i’m all good. sonny’s home i’m not alone, i’ll be fine” he heard your voice at the door, had something happened? did you get hurt? you weren’t in hospital so that was a good sign he thought to himself as he walked to the door seeing your lieutenant ben harper stood at the door.

“everything okay doll?” sonny questioned walking to the door as he looked at ben concern obviously laced onto his features. ben was about to speak but you cut him off straight away.

“yeah everything’s fine, just thanking ben for bringing me home. i’ll see you in 48 hours lieutenant” you smiled at ben and he nodded.

“be safe okay y/l/n” you thanked him before he began closing the door, sonny could tell something was off. your senior officer dropped you home.

“how was your day?” sonny asked as you took your boots off and you both walked into the kitchen.

“busy” yeah something was off. you’d normally ramble on about your day and give sonny a big hug and kiss when you came through the door. and if you could smell his food you’d be in the best mood ever.

“doll are you okay?” he asked looking down at you with a worried look on your face, you were exhausted. you’d been triggered today. seeing so many people hurt, dragging people to safety. then the second bomb went off, it was a war zone all over again. you’d completely lost it when the second bomb went off your lieutenant trying his best to ground you.

“yeah i’m gonna go change out” you pressed a quick kiss to his lips before walking away, sonny sighed walking into the kitchen and finishing the dinner giving you both a plate, he poured out two more glasses of wine before you returned.

“thank you for cooking i wasn’t gonna make anything when i got in” he nodded and you both walked to the couch sitting down to eat dinner together like you did whenever you both got the chance. as you were eating he noticed you pick at your food not paying attention to what was on the tv.

“you not like my cooking tonight?” sonny smiled, you’d completely forgotten he was there. you were so zoned out so stuck in your mind, all the memories from war etched into your brain as if you were seeing it all over again.

“what? sorry, no i love it you’re an amazing chef” you spoke quietly as you began eating, sonny didn’t really know what to say, he couldn’t imagine what you’d been through today.

“it’s alright doll, if you don’t want this i can cook something else… how come ben brought you home?” sonny asked as he finished off the few last mouthfuls of his bowl of pasta.

“wanted to make sure i got home safe, we’re all exhausted was a long day.” you said eating a mouthful of pasta, you’d eaten as much as you could. you felt bad, normally if sonny cooked you’d scrape the plate but tonight was different. you’d been stuck in the military mindset since the last explosion, you’d heard yourself using old military slang you used in the army.

“y/n you can talk to me about it you know? i’m here to help” sonny said as you got up with your bowl and your empty glass about to head into the kitchen, sonny followed suit.

“yeah i know, i’m just gonna hit the rack” the rack? sonny was beyond confused he’d never heard you say that before, and he didn’t know what that meant.

“the rack?” sonny asked confused putting his empty bowl in the sink.

“bed babe, i’m gonna go to bed” sonny had no idea what was going on when you left the room to head up to your bedroom. he stood infront of the sink leaning over it trying to figure out what to say when he went to the bedroom. he didn’t want to pressure you into telling him anything.

he began washing the dishes putting together a game plan of what to say, he knew how to comfort you, he was amazing at comforting you. but this wasn’t just a bad day. that’s when it clicked, the call today probably triggered your ptsd. sonny hadn’t even changed out of his work clothes or finished cleaning up when he headed to the bedroom. when he entered he saw you laying on the bed just blankly staring up at the ceiling. the last thing he wanted to do was startle you. that could make things worse.

“doll?” he spoke softly walking into the room as he took his blazer off and loosening his tie, you looked over at him and nodded at least acknowledging he was there.

he quickly changed into a pair of sweats and a plain white shirt getting into bed next to you carefully he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or trigger you in anyway, you’d never spoken to him about this. he didn’t know how to help.

“today, something triggered you?” he asked politely, his voice soft, you looked over at him unable to form any words and just nodded, tears coming to your eyes. he opened his arms inviting you to hug him, he didn’t want to be pushy but he wanted you to know he was there for you. you accepted snuggling into his arms letting a few tears fall from your cheeks. you cried holding on to sonny’s shirt for a while, he whispered sweet things into your ear while rubbing your back in an attempt to comfort you while you cried, he wanted you to talk to him but he didn’t say anything he just waited until you were ready.

“after seeing everyone today, the second bomb the sound of it exploding the ringing in my ears, everyone screaming. it took me right back. i thought i was there again, i really thought i was there again, i jumped behind rubble for cover and reached for a gun that wasn’t even there.. ben he tried he was trying to bring me back. and he did but i still hear them, i still see it. the things i saw out there sonny” you cried softly into his chest, it hurt him to think about it. to think about everything you went through while serving for this country, as soon as you got home you went straight for another job saving people. he’d never really thought about you being in the military, you’d never spoken about it. the only evidence you had you were ex military were the dog tags round your neck or the gun safe in the closet. you didn’t like talking about it, you lost so many friends out there. it was easier to just leave it all in the past.

“i’m so sorry doll.. is there anything i can do?” he asked holding your body close to his, he just wanted to help, but he didn’t know all that much about ptsd, he knew sexual assault survivors got it, but war ptsd he had no idea how to even talk to you about it. but he wanted to, he knew you were friends with jay halstead from intelligence in chicago, you’d met jay in basic training and a few times in Afghanistan before you heard sonny talk about the detectives who caught gregory yates. sonny made a mental note to give jay a call and ask how he could help.

“just hold me please” so that’s what he did, he held you so close to him, he wanted you to feel safe with him you did. that’s what finally let you drift off to sleep. feeling safe in sonny’s arms.

#chicago pd #law and order imagine #law and order special victims unit #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi smut #sonny carisi

[lutawolf]

hi luta!

i saw you did some analysis on tharntype and i wanted to, idk, talk a little about type to someone. i understand though if you don't want to reply/read/post this because i'm going to talk about, like, his past, because he's sort of important to me and i really enjoy your analysis

anyway

i know tharntype has a lot of flaws as a show, but as a csa survivor, type is kind of such an important character for me. he's an asshole, and says a lot of bullshit, and sometimes i want to punch him. and i love that about him. like. he's not a "perfect" victim, someone tragic but not traumatized. he's a dick, hard to deal with, and deeply traumatized, and a lot of his more rude character traits come from this. and i love that. i think sky is a more nuanced, refined version of that, but type was the first character i saw that had a similar past to mine and wasn't just a sob story on law&order: svu. he was a fully realized character with a lot of flaws, and he found someone to love him. it made me feel, i don't know, less broken? like i'm still worthy of love, despite my past, despite my trauma? i see a lot of that in sky too.

i don't know. i just had a lot feeling about this character (at least his concept; though i could do without the overt homophobia) and i wanted to talk about him and remain anonymous, i guess.

sorry for the rant, feel free to ignore it.

anyway. thank you so much, i hope you're having a lovely day!

Hey Love!!!

I was really enjoying writing the TharnType analysis, and then Mew had his tantrum. Kind of made the taste bittersweet. I don't need Mew and Gulf together. I'm a realistic fan who would love a love story, but really just wants a good show. However, when all I think about is the drama outside the drama when watching it, it's no longer fun. Anyway, that's why I've taken a break from the analysis, but I'm so glad you found them and enjoyed them.

Type is very important to me too. I think I've explained before that I too was that type of victim. It took me a long time to crawl out of the hate into survivor mode. You ever heard the song Ice Cream Man, by Raye?

And I was seven Was 21, was 17, and was 11 It took a while to understand what my consent means If I was ruthless, they'd be in the penitentiary But all the stress of being honest wouldn't help me I pushed it down, but it was living in me rent-free And then I fell into some things that were unhealthy A place where no one heard me asking them to help me

This song and TharnType help me not to feel so alone. To remember that despite the fact that I am damaged and will always be damaged, I can be loved too. I don't think people realize that most of us truly come out tortured, and we aren't sweet Polyannes that forgive all that is done to us. They see unrealistic portrayals of women just getting over it, portrayals by people who have never experienced SA and think that's accurate. It's not. Type is accurate. Being fucking pissed off and a ball of hate is a very natural reaction. And when we see correct portrayal, it's soothing. It reminds us that we aren't alone.

Thanks for writing to me. Please feel free to any time. 💜💜💜

#luta question and answer

[babymadeofbones]

tag nine people u want to get to know better :00

thank u sm for the tag @feralremains i'm kissing u on the forehead rn

three ships: ok i'm gonna do most recent, the one i've read the most of, and a wild card >:3

most recent: barisi!! rafael barba/sonny carisi from law and order svu. love those queer little lawyers 🫶

the one i've read the most of: sakuatsu! sakusa kiyoomi/miya atsumu from haikyuu!! i have like 78 bookmarks of them on ao3 and i can guarantee there's many many more in my history that i don't have bookmarked lol

wild card: raeda (had to google their ship name lol)!!!! raine whispers/eda clawthorne from the owl house!!!!!! they are so little and i am holding them in my bisexual nonbinary hands. i am literally raine whispers btw.

first ever ship: it's. it was um.. it was joshler... which is josh dun/tyler joseph from the band twenty one pilots 😔😔😔😔😔. listen i was like 12!!!!! i have grown and changed as a person and no longer ship real people ❤️

last song: presumably dead arm by sidney gish! recommended to me by my skrunkle in christ/best friend/gay lover/little meow meow i love u [NAME REDACTED]

last movie: oh man it was either ferdinand or trouble in the heights i can't remember which one i watched more recently. i'll give u three guesses what those two movies have in common tho 😭

currently reading: i actually started re-reading the perks of being a wallflower again!! this will be read number four or five i can't remember lol. it's my favorite book!!!!

currently watching: glee 😔 it's actually a lot better than i was expecting and can i be honest with u. i don't find rachel as insufferable as i think i should 😭 like yeah she sent sunshine to a crack house but the split second before i remember that i'm like omg she's just like me 😭😭

currently consuming: munchos chips. u will have to pry them from my cold dead hands. and also an arizona raspberry iced tea :3

currently craving: matcha flavored pocky... it's my fav flavor but they don't have it at like regular grocery stores near me but it's super expensive at the stores that do have it 😭😭

tagging 😳 (absolutely no pressure ik i've never even really interacted with some of u but i just picked ppl whose blogs i love dearly <33):

@callixton @mossymushroomcreek @xovalliegirlxo (it won't let me tag u wtf!!! i hope u see this 😭) @raskti @rmnp-love @jonasnightingale @thena0315 @babygirlbarba @electric-lights

#thank u again for the tag <333 #sorry for the excessive emojis they are like children to me

[balbigalum]

hey, could you write something about cole and reader in a modern setting? where the reader is younger than him and is Aegon's best friend, and Cole being the bodyguard and stuff, having to put up with Aegon and his annoying little friend, even though he thinks she's hot he won't admit it, and for some reason he sees her shirtless and it becomes a bit awkward and at the same time there is a lot of tension, idk why am I asking this, just curious, please let it be intense and spicy

okay i had to get out of my comfort zone for this because i really think i need to practice when it comes to explicit content lol so here is my attempt

(nsfw under the cut)

Aegon’s hand shakes as he tries to type on his phone, giggles leave your lips like little bubbles waiting to be popped, both of you are beyond drunk and you are sure Aegon is under some other influence. Your heels are killing your ankles while you hold onto Aegon, he still has a small bottle of champagne on his other hand which is making the whole ordeal of texting his chauffeur even harder. 

“Just– Just call him.” You yell at him above the music and he shakes his head.

“Nuh-uh,” He taunts like a child while keeping the phone out of your reach, his pale complexion is tinted pink. “If he knows I’m drunk he is telling Cole and then I’m gonna be fucked.” He adds and you roll your eyes, he finally settles on sending his chauffeur a poorly articulated voice note, letting him know you two were ready to be picked up. 

Your drunken antics are cut short when Aegon’s chauffeur is nowhere to be seen in the parking lot of the club, instead of the short old man that’s used to drive you two around his personal bodyguard stands in front of the car. You shove your elbow against Aegon and point at the man with a raised eyebrow, Aegon looks as confused as you are.

“What? Where is Wyllam? I called him… Didn’t I?” Aegon presses, half of his sentence being muttered in confusion. 

“Wyllam was kind enough to let me know the Prince was in need of something more than just his chauffeur.” The man says, his mouth is pressed in line and his eyes look strict. You knew Criston Cole, he had been around Aegon for as long as you remembered, always picking up after the Prince, always reminding the Prince of how his mother would feel if he continued to exploit his ill behaviour. He was a looming presence, always behind you two, you were well aware he was not truly fond of you. When you entered Aegon’s life, Cole made the mistake of thinking you were some passing girl, that Aegon would quickly get bored of you and swap you for the best next thing. What Cole didn’t know at the time was that you weren’t Aegon’s little girlfriend, and that you would stick by him for a long time. 

It was a shame really, Cole is an attractive man, tough and handsome, you had always felt drawn to his black eyes and tanned skin. You often tried to offer him some fun, a beer here and there, a joyride, but he always remains serious and unmoving. He often looks at you in disgust, especially when you sport some dress that’s too short or some bikini that leaves little to the imagination, he looks strained when you walk around in nothing but Aegon’s oversized shirts, something Aegon finds amusing and even encourages. There was this one time Criston thought you were too drunk to perceive his curious eyes raking your body up and down while you sat in the passenger seat of the SVU, you don’t remember much of that night but you are sure he made some comment under his breath, something about how a girl like you should be more careful parading yourself like that. You still laugh at that every once in a while. 

“Get in the car now, Aegon, you too.” He shoots a stern look to you and you are sure he muttered “Brat” under his breath, you roll your eyes at how serious he is taking this little thing. 

Aegon crawls into the back seat and you can guess by the groans that comes from him that if he doesn’t lay down quickly enough he is going to throw up all over the car’s floor, you jump into the front seat and Cole closes both of your doors with a little too much force. The ride is awkward to say the least, Criston’s knuckles turning white with the way he is gripping the wheel, you let your window down and try to sober up, allowing the cold wind to brush your face, it does make you feel better.

“Are you having fun?” Criston asks, tone laced with annoyance, you don’t reply. “One thing is me having to deal with him, but you don’t make it easier… You’re an enabler.” It's not the first time someone accuses you of enabling Aegon or something of the sort, truth is you are sure it’s the other way around, even if nobody appreciates it you actually keep Aegon out of a lot of trouble. “Hey, princess, I’m talking to you.” He says snapping his fingers right in front of your face, you push his hand away.

“‘m not a princess.” You mumble, wanting to be done with this conversation.

“You’re not? Then why do you behave like one? I work for Aegon’s mother, not you.” He is getting mean and you can tell he is frustrated, you’re not sure why, Aegon has always been the same, it doesn't matter how much Alicent tries to change the way her son is, he will always be Aegon. 

“Fine, I’m sorry.” You snap at him, not sure what you’re apologizing for, just wanting him to shut up.

When you finally arrive at the Targaryen’s residence Aegon is fully asleep. Cole doesn’t waste any time opening your door like he often does and instead goes around the car to get Aegon, he half drags him towards the door and you follow them, heels in hand. By the time you are inside the house Aegon starts groaning and squirming in Criston’s grasp and before he can let him go, Aegon throws up. You wrinkle up your nose in disgust, some of Aegon’s vomit getting on Cole’s perfect buttoned up shirt, the rest on the floor while Aegon uses him to stabilize himself. 

Cole is not looking at him when Aegon is done, who kindly pats him on the shoulder and gives him one of those toothy smiles Aegon is known for. 

“Sorry about that, man.” Is everything Aegon offers him before walking in the direction of his room, you don’t even look at Cole, focused on following Aegon. You feel a sting of shame creeping up your body at the scene your friend caused, you help Aegon off his clothes and into his bed, he pats the place next to him for you to join him but you scoff at him.

“You’re such a dick, they’re gonna blame this on me, you know?” You tell him, even though you are well aware that he is already half asleep. Once you make sure he is not gonna choke on his own vomit you decide to make your way through the house, searching for Cole. You’re gonna offer him a small apology, something believable, you don’t want him running his mouth to Alicent, last time it happened you weren’t welcomed into the Targaryen home for two months. 

The house is quiet and big, it takes you a while to find some light coming from a room, you hear water running from one of the bathrooms and you can only assume it’s Criston trying to wash Aegon’s vomit off of him. You want to blame the alcohol still making your blood buzz or maybe your need to fix the possibility of Alicent hating you more than she already does, either way you opened the door to the bathroom without knocking, just trying to find Cole and get this over with.

Criston stands over the sink, shirtless, hair wet and pushed back, he looks tense and stressed out. His forgotten shirt discarded in the tub, he is gripping the sink with force and you can see the perfect outline of the muscles of his arms and chest, he finally looks at you. 

“Yes?” He says, he obviously pissed off, at you, at Aegon, at the fact that it’s the middle of the night and he is awake babysitting you two. “Can’t you knock?” He stands closer to you now, you can smell his cologne, you blink at him trying to find something to say.

“Sorry,” You start. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to–” He rolls his eyes.

“You didn’t mean to what? Huh?” You shake your head at his closeness, at his tone, you try to speak again but he cuts you. “Get out, go keep Aegon’s bed warm.” He says, you gasp at his comment, red and small your anger starts to make its way up your throat, you weren’t Aegon’s whore, doesn’t matter how hard it was for his family to understand it.

“No.” You say.

“No?” He asks. A quiet, humorless laugh floats out of him as your fingers begin nervously fidgeting with the hem of your dress. You try to keep your forehead up.

“I came here to apo–” 

“You know what your problem is?” He presses. “You’re a spoiled cunt, princess.” His tone is heavy and hungry, authority clinging onto every word, you want to be offended by his statement but his gaze feels crushing. “Nobody has ever put you in your place, have they?” He says, a hand, big and strong, finding its way to your jaw, holding you there. “You’re too used to always getting what you want… It’s not cute.” He doesn’t look angry anymore, rather a smirk form on his lips, you put your hands against his chest looking for support and he makes a sound deep in the back of his throat. 

He closes the space between you too, kissing you hard, biting your lower lip and making you hiss. He starts to make his way down your neck and you feel his stubble on your sensitive skin, his left hand starts toying with the hem of your short dress. 

“You’re gonna make things even,” He mumbles against your neck. “I’m always running after you and Aegon, you owe me a little bit, don’t you think?" He says biting your neck slightly between each word, he grabs your left hand and brings it to the front of his pants. He is half hard, you gulp, feeling a familiar sensation between your legs and nod slowly. 

“I’m sorry.” You say, he kisses you again and puts a leg between yours, the friction making you feel dizzy, you can feel him getting harder by the second. 

“Yeah, I bet you are… Always wearing these dresses,” He says, snapping one of the straps of your dress. “You better be sorry, always putting up a show wherever you go.” You gasp loud against his cheek when his fingers find the inside of your panties, his fingers are thick and rough, he is a working man and it shows in his hands. The wetness between your legs makes him groan as he sinks two fingers inside of you, you let a string of soft moans out as he works you open, he knows what he is doing and you wonder how many women have laid under him. 

You’re closer to the edge now, you feel warm all over, his other hand going up your throat, fluttering his fingertips up to your mouth, dipping his thumb inside, you moan around it and close your eyes, you feel overwhelmed and pliable under the older man’s touch, and right when you’re about to cum he takes it away. You whine at the loss of touch and he cleans his glistering fingers on your dress, his other hand still holding you softly by the neck. 

“Suck me off.” He says and your teeth bite down on your lip, his hand finds the back of your neck and gently pushes you down until you’re on your knees, facing his growing bulge. You watch him as he undoes his belt and you can’t think of anything hotter, your own need making your mind feel cloudy. “You want it?” He asks and you nod. “Outloud.” He orders.

“I want it, Criston” You say, cheeks blushed, and reach his way, he pushes your hands away and you look up at him confused. 

“I don’t work for you, I’m not Criston to you.” You stare at him for a second trying to figure out if he is joking, he is holding your gaze. You swallow your pride and let the heat of the moment guide you.

“I want it… Sir.” You say looking away from him, he laughs again and finally allows you to pull his underwear down. You open your mouth for him and he guides his tip to meet your lips, you can already taste some precum, you feel desire taking over, urging and pulsing under both your and his skin. You comply when he grabs the sides of your face and you let him fuck your mouth, his eyes flash darker with hunger, you wonder how long he has been wanting to do this. How many times he locked his jaw and burned holes on Aegon’s back while he cuddled you innocently on the couch. He grunts above you, petting the hair off your face, you can feel the sting of tears on the corner of your eyes, but you don’t want to stop.

“You’re good at this, princess,” He makes a noise that sounds disappointed in a way, you try to not pay attention to it, rather focusing on working one of your hands on the base of his cock, you tease his head with your tongue and give him a kiss right on the tip. His movements become more and more erratic, and he is leaking precum on your tongue, you know he is close and it excites you. You realize his hands don’t know how to be gentle as he quickens his rhythm, he makes a small movement that alerts you he wants to pull out of your mouth and you shake your head no as best as you can around him.

“Shit, baby,” He groans, digging his fingertips fiercely into your scalp as he cums. You pull back and let him catch his breath, sweat making his perfect skin shine under the bathroom’s light. He crouches down at your height and gives you one final kiss, you follow his lips hungry, feeling your core pulsing with want, you want him to take care of you. He smiles and caresses your cheek slowly. 

“You can go with Aegon now.” He says, a smirk on his face. He walks away, leaving you there, needy and deprived, you whine dumbfounded. You do as you’re told and you go back to Aegon’s room, confused about what just happened. Aegon shifts in his sleep when you get into bed with him, wearing one of his shirts, he scrunches his nose not opening his eyes.

“You smell like sex...” He mumbles while cuddling closer to you, making you sigh deep from your chest, you hug him tight even if he smells like sweat and a bit like vomit.

#criston cole #ser criston cole x reader #ser criston cole #house of the dragon #hotd fic #anon #blurb #nsft

[wily-one24]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @rowark (If "anyone who wants to" counts as tagging, and I am going to, so there. If that makes you angry, perhaps you need a nap?).

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 56.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,248,713.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The main ones I have written for include Profiler, Buffy, Firefly, Veronica Mars, Once Upon A Time.

And most recently Law and Order: SVU.

I have delved into other fandoms such as The Inside, Rizzoi and Isles, Supergirl, and Heroes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Memory Cloud - 1,413

Paint It Black - 1,320

The Blue Moon - 811 (it's the smut, isn't it? I know it, you pervs).

The Waning Moon - 783

Elmo's ABCs - 744

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. I respond to as many as possible. Especially if the fic is fresh. But I have responded to comments on fics that are months/years old. I do miss some comments, sometimes I'm busy and my brain says "I'll get to that later", but then my brain is... not perfect... and it forgets.

However, I love responding to comments. I have made friends in the comments. I have the best discussions in my comments.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, geez. Like, you're asking me, the Queen of Angst? There were LJ icons with "Jacqui + Angst = OTP". Maybe if I go by fandoms? Firefly's angstiest ending was "DIdn't Mean Nothin'", but also "Pieces" had a super angsty epilogue.

Veronica Mars' angstiest ending? I mean, they were mostly angst middles, weren't they? Super dark middles with hopeful endings. Veronica did bring out the optimist in me. She was so young, she deserves her life to improve after all the shit canon put her through. I guess if I had ever finished "Bitter Revenge" it would have been a tad angsty? But there would have been hope, becauses he would have had the baby!

Swan Queen, whoo. Um, OH YEAH, "You and Me (We Wanted It All)". HA, that was angst a'plenty. Even PIB and Memory Cloud had hopeful (if not happy) endings. But that one was... just some light angst for angst sake.

I mean I only have three fics with SVU, (two of which form part of a series), and only one of which is finished. BUT, I can with confidence say that "Wicked Game" ends pretty fucking bleakly and angstily.

(okay, so I went back to my VM fic masterlist on LJ, and whew, okay, so there's a whole bunch of "exploration" fics that don't necessarily change canon, just delve into it like "Neptune CA Mother's Club" deals with the shit poor mothers in Neptune, "Courting Disaster" devles into Logan's abuse, "The Tender Bruise" and "Bruises In the Mirror" were both angst fests that didn't end happily per se. Also, "The Ghost and Mrs Mars" was... not hopeful at all. Man, I *forgot* a LOT of them).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

🤣🤣🤣

Ok, let me think. I'm assuming we're not talking smut fics? LIke, happy endings? 'Cause I have a bunch of PWPs which could be considered 'happy'. But... let's say what a reasonable person might be called happy...

I think "Sleep Perchance" was pretty optimistic and its sequel "... To Dream" was set to end in a much more positive place than it began. "Whisky Bears" was just a fun fic, drunken fun on a spaceship. What more do you want? And "Boobs" was just silly.

"The Best Deceptions"!! That was such a good fluffy sweet fic. It's a WIP, so no ending, but still. OMG, I forgot this one. It's my only real non-angst fluff fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I used the laughing so hard I cried emoji too early, didn't I?

I mean, I would say usually not. I have spent decades in fandom and Once Upon A Time was the only fandom I got hate in.

A small amount for "The Blue Moon", because apparently there was a second 'Emma as a stripper' fic and I was accused of plagiarising, but this was later rescinded because the fics were totally different.

And also when someone decided to get really spiteful and tell me they lost all respect for me because I dared to find Emma sexy instead of fetishisizing Regina for all eternity.

OBVIOUSLY, the most intense hatred I got was for Paint It Black. The vilest, most bitter things were thrown at me. In the comments, in private messages. I got death threats. I had rape wished on me. I was told my kids should be taken away. I was accused of trying to lure in lesbians only to give them 'straight cock filled depravity".

Because there was a man in one sex scene. Meanwhile, it was never listed as a purely lesbian fic, and the two ladies have canonically HAD male romantic and sexual partners in the past. So... not sure what the huge vitriol was about.

I sure did learn to TAG PROPERLY after that, though. My god.

Get a grip, fandom, get a grip.

No other fandom has been that unhealthy. At least, not for me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. I have written both F/M and F/F. I have also written F/M/F, M/F/M, and F/F/F.

There's usually at least ONE woman involved. I have not, nor am I interested in writing M/M fics (boy parts iz icky).

Most readers find the scenes pretty hot. I tend to be descriptive and emotional when writing smut. Unless it's a PWP, there's usually a whole bunch of motivation and emotion involved. Even when it's a PWP there's usually a whole lot of characterisation in there.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I tend not to?

That said, I have written one.

It was a Heroes/Veronica Mars crossover, in which Sylar mistakes Veronica for his recently murdered (by his own hand, natch) girlfriend Elle and perhaps loses his very unstable mind over it a little. Leading to a slight case of kidnapping, Keith and Noah coupling up Buddy Cop style for some cross country chasing, super powered hijinx, and UBER ANGST. The tag line reads "What Happens when a Serial Killer and a Serial Victim Meet".

To be honest, it was kind of amazing and I loved it. It was working up to be Super Dubcon, but hadn't quite gotten there yet. I am sad that this remains a WIP. I would have loved to have finished this.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had some fics put on GoodReads, but they took them down when I asked them to.

I did have one of my fic scenes pretty much plagiarised in Firefly. What makes it worse is that they used it for a couple I hate. I let it go, though. That fic never quite got the same steam mine did. There was no point giving it attention.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of. I think it has been asked before, but I am a little wary of that sort of thing. I lose control of it if other people change it.

That said, I have had comments on my fics in a completely different language and I used Google Translate to both understand and reply. I will make the effort.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

I am jaded. I am very particular about my fics and, as said above, I do not like to lose control over them (what, control issues? Who? Me?)

I am also heavily jaded for things like fic swaps. It's my own fault, I realise this, because I would put so much effort and write thousands upon thousands of words of fic and get a 500 word piece back and it really put me off. Again, I know it's my fault, I chose to put that much effort in, but still.

Wait...I am having vague recollections of something like a fic round-robin? I could not tell you what fandom (I assume Firefly, but not sure), and certainly could never link back to it or even know how to google for it. I guess that counts? BUt I doubt it, because I can't even tell you what the fic was about or what my contribution to it was. So... no.

Hmmm, I was also involved in a Season Rewrite for Profiler back int he day, but all those fics are lost to the internet heyday and you'll never find them. Huh, I htink my episode was called "Lady In Red". (omg, THE MEMORIES).

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Geez. Asking the hard questions. I don't know. All my ships hold a place in my heart, that's why I write them. So, the answer is... I guess... if you've seen me write for that couple, then THAT couple is my favourite in that moment.

(I like, I have had a few fic requests that I've filled that haven't really been my cup of tea, Veronica/Lamb for instance, or Jayne/River, or Simon/River. I don't like them, but I have written them).

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of them. ALL OF THEM. I mean, "Adam's Rib" had so many stories to tell and I could have gotten lost in "The Best Deceptions" world. Omg, that was such a happy, schmoopy fic. Let me go back up to happy fics for a sec...

"... To Dream", "Bitter Revenge", and "Girl int he Mirror" will be my sadness from VM.

and ALL my SQ WIPs. "The New Moon", "A Swan Is A Beautiful Creature", "The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares)", "Subject 3662", "Blooding the Water". *sob*. I'm sorry!!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Angst.

Detail.

Lots of people comment on my phrasing and pacing. The way I string words together and have breaks and just bring forth the imagery. It's never just "and then this happened and then this happened and he put his hand here and she put her mouth there".

No matter where I am planning to go with a fic, i always start from a canon point and keep that canon history. I try to keep characerisations believable. They may get into plots and situations that they would never in canon, but I like to hope I keep their reactions believable and true.

I like to delve into the emotion of it. You know the tumblr meme "Put that guy into situations". THAT'S what I do. And then I examine the ever living fuck out of it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't have a beta reader.

Which is troublesome, because my hands don't work properly anymore. At least, not as well as they used to. I have what's called dupuytren's contracture. It's a thickening fibrous band around the tendons of the hand. My hands aren't restricted, so much at the moment, but it does slow down my pinkie fingers. Which means when I touch type, there are so many mistakes. And I can't NOT touch type.

These come out mainly in things like double capitals (ever wonder why so many times in SVU fics I have the name "LIv" and not "Liv", it's because that capital 'i' is harder to spot. If I type "THe" I see it and fix it. But my eye seems to skip over the "LIv" and "HIs" words.

It also comes out in the spaces in the wrong place. I will type t he instead of 'the', or 'ith appened' instead of 'it happened'.

I spend A LOT OF TIME, going back and editing sentences I have just written. The amount of times I have had to go back and delete/edit words just in this post alone is staggering. It makes things take twice as long.

I have had to work really hard to get back into writing. I stopped for a great deal of time, many years, because I was so bothered by this.

Add to that, the kidney failure gives me brain fog, so I have to spend a lot of time trying to remember the specific words I want to use. For someone who uses words INSTRINSICALLY, knowing there is a specific word I want and not being able to access it in my memory? FUCKING FRUSTRATING, I Can tell you.

Another great weakness is starting a dozen fics at once and being unable to keep up and then being overwhelmed and losing momentum.

This is how I have so many WIPs.

I keep that in mind now, which is why I am limiting myself to two ongoing SVU fics and THAT IS IT. No more until they're finished.

THough I have actually been writing SO MUCH lately. At least once chapter a week. So this is good. Makes me happy.

I get the feeling that I tend to homogenise my characterisations a little. But this doesn't seem to be a complaint of any commenters, so I try not to let my imagination run wild with me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done it.

Firefly fic, by necessity, uses a lot of Chinese. I used to know the html to do the hover type and would have Chinese dialogue with hover type translations. It was fun, because as is the Firefly traditions, you could have the filthiest things in Chinese and the censors wouldn't pick it up. (My favourite thing I wrote translated to... something like "Your mother sucks rotten beef sticks in hell" if I am remembering correctly).

Alas, I have forgotten the html for that. I am sure it's just a google away, but... I don't really need translations for English fics.

I also did a bunch of research for Trigidasleng. I never really wrote The 100 fics, though I did write some drabbles. I probably did more research that necessary for the mount of fic I actually wrote.

But, yeah, I think if the source material calls for it, you should definitely put the effort in.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Who wants a laugh? When I was in primary school, 3rd grade I think, we wrote books. We got to type them on a computer, the teacher printed them out, then bound them and we drew the pictures and coloured them in.

I still have mine.

It's called "Bugs Bunny, Brooke, and the Giant Banana", which was a combination of Bugs Bunny (natch), mary sue insert of my friend Brooke, and James and the GIant Peach.

BUAH HAH HAH.

But truly? My first fandom was Profiler. This is the show that got me ONTO the net, introduced me to fandoms and message boards and fics. If it weren't for those people, I wouldn't be here now.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Don't ask me to choose a favourite child!

Are you kidding me?

I cannot. I can't even do it per fandom. I love them all, which is why I wrote them.

How could you be so cruel?

Tagging: YOU, if you want to.

#fic meme #jacqui writes fic #interesting thoughts #introspections on jacqui's mind

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 51

Looks like I'm back on track, I'm very happy with this chapter.

Series Masterlist

Part 50

Contains: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, drug driving, injury to a child, follow the plot of 5x07-5x08 loosely

7.7K words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

Gemma loses the last bit of good will.

Gemma didn't know why she was in that hotel room or why she decided to spend the night with a man she didn't know, what she did know was that having her car stolen after getting black out drunk was going to mean that she would be back to not being alone to spend time with Abel again.

She wondered what Nero would say, things were going well with him but they had never had a conversation about getting serious, but she called him anyway, hoping he would understand, hoping he wouldn't tell Jax what had just happened.

****

"What is it?"

Jax was making a ruckus throwing on his clothes, "That was Nero, Gemma's had her car stolen, at a no tell motel."

You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, "I guess she's not better, was she with someone?"

Jax shrugged, "no idea, I'm about to find out."

You climbed out of bed, "I'll head into the lab early, maybe get a post or two done and then I'll come home and pack. Go easy on her Jax, she's going through a lot."

Jax huffed, "she has been given chance after chance to pull her shit together, this has to stop before she gets someone hurt."

You nodded, "see how she is when you get there, is she's sober she can have Abel while we leave, if not, Wendy can take him and she doesn't get another chance until all this shit with Clay is over and done with."

Jax sighed then walked up to where you were sitting on the end of the bed and leaned down to kiss you, "alright, but if she's still drunk she's done."

You nodded, "that's fair. I Love you Jax, please be safe."

"Love you too darlin."

****

Gemma's heart dropped when she heard the bikes, she could see the look on Jax's face as they walked up to her with Nero in tow, Bobby and Tig went off to talk to the manager while the other went to speak to Gemma. When they got within speaking distance, Gemma leaned in close to Nero to talk to him, "if I wanted them to come I would have called them."

Jax did his best to stay calm, "what the hell happened?"

"I cashed here last night and someone stole my Caddy."

Jax wasn't buying it, "someone?" He went looking around the hotel room and returned with a bottle of white liquid "since when do you drink banana vodka?"

Nero was kinda as they stood around her waiting for the truth, "what happened?"

"I woke up to take a piss and he stole my wallet and my SVU. I don't remember his name."

Jax tried to suppress his disgust, "Jesus Christ, who are you."

She walked away upset, Nero going to comfort her, "this is why I called you, because I don't need that shit."

Jax took a deep breath and walked up to Nero, "I'm sorry you got pulled into this, she's a Goddamn train wreck."

"She still your mother ese, respect that. You know, she's caught between a husband she hates and a kid she thinks hate her. Women like your mum, Jax, they don't do so good without family. Hmm, go easy." Nero left to take a call and Tig and Bobby came back with nothing, but when Nero hung up he had a determined look on his face.

"My guys found the Escalade, and the dude is still there." With one last glance at his mother, Jax left.

****

"Y/n said I'm not allowed to let you go back to work."

Ima's hands were on her hips, there was no way Sam was going to win this, "come on baby, you know I'll be alright."

Ima rolled her eyes, "no, we need to start planning the nursery anyway."

Sam smiled, "alright beautiful but only because I know you're more loyal to my sister than me and you'd call her if I went to work."

Ima smiled, "damn right I would."

****

"Ahhhh, y/n, Clay Morrow is at the door for you, do you want me to let him in?"

You rubbed your face, "yeah, walk him in please, and don't go anywhere, he won't be here for long." Travis escorted Clay in and sat down watching him while he tried to speak to you.

"What do you want?"

He shrugged, "Juice is here with your intern, I thought I'd tell you what you needed to hear rather than sit in the van."

You shook your head, "why do you still have to O2? You're breathing fine."

He huffed, "doc says I still need it for a little while. Does he need to be here?"

You waved your hand, "yes, now hurry up and say what you need to say so I can get on with my life."

"I know you're not going to take this well but I also know you can listen to reason. Jax can't run this Club, in the last few months your brother has been shot and Charming is at risk, you need to tell him to step down." You kept your face neutral despite the urge to shoot him in the head.

"You really think I have that much pull over him? And let's be honest Mr Morrow, we both know that this isn't on Jax. He's done more for the Club and for Charming since he's taken over than you had in twenty years. Now kindy fuck off, before you put your foot in it and I start looking at your motivations a bit closer."

You turned to Travis, "get rid of him, please."

Travis stood up to his full height, "with pleasure, you want me to bar him from now on?"

You shook your head, "don't make it any harder on Juice, he can sit outside and wait for me to come out if he wants to talk from now on." Clay walked out and Travis looked at you through his peripheral vision, smiling as you shook the recorder by your side, Clay was getting worried and it was showing.

****

Jax felt a strange anger when he found out what Gemma's one night stand did for a living, you would probably tell him that he was a sociopath who didn't care and felt nothing for the women he hurt but your calming voice in his head did little to quell the building rage as he got on his bike the chase after the man.

As the bikes gained on the torn apart car, Jax thought about what he was going to do to the man when he caught him, he didn't have to think for too long because he was jumping out of the car and shooting at them before running away into a patch of bush by the side of the road. Jax was on his in seconds, throwing his fists into the man's face while Chibs tried to pull him away.

"I'm good, let me crack this piece of shit."

Nero stood next to Chibs to block the man from Jax's view, "you want to be on the five o'clock news. Take what's yours. Let's get out of here."

Jax did his best to reign in his rage as he stalked up to the man, "I should kill you for what you did to my mother."

He got a bit of sick satisfaction at the fear in the man's eyes, "that makes sense. But you're not going to do that right?"

"Not today. Check his pockets." Chibs went through them and handed the money to Jax, the man's protest going unheard. He walked off in a huffed, Nero threatening him one last time before they mounted their bikes and drove off.

****

"Jax's has got to go, I don't care how you do it but get rid of him. He's leaving tonight to spend some time at the cabin with his bitch, do it then."

Gogo swallowed, "you want us to take him out?"

Clay shook his head, "nah, hire someone from the outside, make it look like a beef. I have another job for you three."

Clay sounded so angry, "what?" Franky didn't know where this was going, only that Clay was going off the rails.

"I need to to scare my old lady, she drives home the same way every night, she needs to know that pimp can't look after her like I can."

Greg's eyes went wide, "so what, you want us to run her off the road?"

Clay shook his head, "I didn't say that, just give her a reason to think that Jax can't keep Charming safe."

"Fine, but this better get you back at the head of the table, we can't just off Jax and get away with it without you running things, especially is y/n gets in the Club's ear."

Clay felt his blood pressure rise, "don't worry, once the little prince is dead, you can get rid if her too."

****

"Hello my love, to what do owe I your call?"

Jax chuckled, "my mum was sober when we got there, we got her car back too. I think she should be alright to take Abel."

You rubbed your face, "ok, I have a few more things to do here then I'll be done."

Jax sounded tired, "I'm going to have Tig go up with you, make sure you're safe."

You sighed, "alright, I can look after myself but I know it will ease your worry so I'll agree. I'll air the place out and make dinner, how long before you get there?"

"About two hours after you, thank you for being so patient."

You smiled, "I love you Jackson."

You could hear the smirk in his voice, "I love you too darlin."

****

Jax watched Gemma head into the office after talking to Nero, he took a deep breath and followed her, sitting down on the couch and readying himself for the oncoming conversation. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

Jax waved his hand, "It's ok. You and y/n, she's really trying mum."

Gemma nodded, "I know. I know she is, if I was her I wouldn't let me anywhere near Abel." Jax was a little shocked at her self awareness.

"What's going on with you mum?"

Gemma's face fell, "when my Thomas died, I did the worse thing a mother could do, I made you make up for the love he couldn't give me anymore. I'm sorry Jackson, I'm sorry that I've always been too much."

Jax ran his hands over his hair, "when he died, I felt so bad."

Gemma did her best to comfort him, "I know baby."

Jax shook his head, "it wasn't because he was dead, it was because I'd have you all to myself. I knew how wrong that was"

When Jax, filled with shame at his jealousy of your relationship with Sam brought this up to you, you hugged him and told him it wasn't his fault that he felt like Gemma didn't have love enough for both of them. At first, he was offended that you had suggested something so horrible but the more he thought about it, the more he realised that growing up, he felt like his mother didn't have space in her heart for everyone.

"I love you mum, and we're going to get through all of this, I promise." Jax stood up and pulled his mother into his arms for a hug, Jax didn't know what to do, all he knew was that things needed to change.

****

"You all packed?"

You nodded, "I just got to get the cool stuff in the cooler, you're staying for dinner at the cabin right?"

Tig smiled, "you want me there?"

You nodded again, "I do, I realise that you and I have serious fundamental issues but we can't let them stew. I have yet to make up my mind about you, which has never happened before, so I'm trying to like you, not only for Jax and the Club but so there's no bad blood between us."

"I don't know what to say."

You took a deep breath, "don't say anything, just deal with your personality problems that got us to this place originally."

Tig knew what you were talking about, you thought he was a coward and in many ways, you were right, "I'm trying."

You smiled, "I know, that's why we're having this conversation."

You looked around, "alright, I'm ready to go."

You handed Tig the cooler, "right on time, I'll text Jax before we leave." You nodded, "how did today go?"

Tig shrugged, "we got Gemma's car back and Clay didn't make a scene, I think we got off easy."

You sigh, "yeah, has Clay stirred the pot about these home invasions? I know he's been sowing the seeds of doubt."

"Yeah, he has. Why do you ask?"

You thought for a moment before giving an honest answer, "because he's the only one who has anything to gain from them. Not only does it make Jax look weak and unable to lead but it makes Charming look unsafe without him at the head of the table."

Tig went pale, "he's behind this?"

He huffed, "shit, who's doing the dirty work?"

You titled your head, "who's been absent every time something goes wrong?"

"The nomads, do you have proof?"

You nodded, "bootprints, fingerprints and a bug in his house. Would you like to hear him admit everything?"

Tig blinked, "who else knows?"

You smiled sadly at his tone, "Jax, Sam, Opie, Bobby and Happy, Clay sent the Nomads to Happy's house to go after his mum and aunt."

Tig swallowed, "Sam?"

You nodded, "Greg pulled the trigger."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

Your smile turned a little nasty, "because I needed to know if you were involved before I was alone with you, far away from help. Don't worry, you passed."

He snorted, "gee thanks. Let me guess, you want me to act like I know nothing?"

You nodded, "unless you want to run a foul of the CIA."

"I hear you."

****

Gemma knew she shouldn't be smoking before she took Abel home, but after her conversation with Jax she couldn't calm down. Stopping by Unser's and talking to him had helped a lot but the last few days had made everything so much worse, between getting her car stolen and Clay trying to worm his way back into her life, she felt lost. Nevertheless, she stamped out her joint and headed T-M to bring Abel back home with her, grateful she had been given more time with him even after last night.

When Gemma got to T-M, Abel jumped into her arms and hugged her, "grandma, I missed you."

Gemma pressed a kiss to his little cheek, "I miss you too, are you ready to go?" Abel nodded, and Gemme buckled him in, driving off with the radio blaring. Had she been sober, she might has picked up on the dark van following her.

As she drove down the road, she grew tired, the loud music barely keeping her awake. It was the sound of a horn blaring that shook her eyes open, the van came up fast and almost bumped the back of the car, the wheels screeching as her car shifted. She managed to right the car before the next wave came, and then another, then the van pulled away. Just as she thought it was over, the van was back and this time, she didn't have to reflexes to correct the swerve.

The tree came fast and hard, then there was nothing.

****

"You might as well come inside and help me sort this place out."

Tig didn't look impressed, "Tragger, I'm not a child, no one's going to come up on us without me hearing it, and let's be honest, I'll be protecting you."

Tig shook his head with a smile, "you're kind of mean."

You huffed, "am I lying?"

He rolled his eyes, "no, but it makes me feel inadequate."

You handed Tig and knife and slid him the cutting board, "good for you, please chop the carrots."

He did as you asked, "what are you making?"

You washed your hands and turned on the oven, "baked skin on chicken breast with veggies."

Tig licked his lips, "yum, I'm glad I said yes to your invite."

Before you could say more, your mobile rang. It was a fast conversation, "we need to leave right now. Jax and the guys have just been attacked on their way here." You and Tig raced out of the cabin, when he got to his bike, you practically pulled him away, "is that thing bullet proof?" He didn't answer as he climbed into the passenger seat and you drove off.

It didn't take long for you to get to the scene. Jax and Chibs were by the road, their bikes nowhere to be seen. You ran up to them and grabbed Jax's face in your hands, "what the hell happened?"

Jax looked so angry, "are either of you hurt? Let me check you." You ran your hands over Jax then Chibs, then Jax was putting and hand on your upper back and leading you into the bushes.

"A van came out of nowhere and someone started shooting, we managed to down this guy before the van drove off."

Tig turned to you and you gave him a knowing look, "he's black?"

You nodded, "yeah, my guess is someone's getting worried we're on to them and wants to throw us off."

Chibs blinked, "why am I getting the feeling that I've been left out of the loop."

You took a deep breath, "load the body into the truck, Jax can explain to you what I just told Tig."

Jax glanced at you, "I've called the others, Bobby's on his way."

You shook your head, "we have a problem, the shells on the road are for cop killers, they were planning on killing both of you." It didn't take long for the four of you to return to the cabin, Jax downloading Chibs from the front seat while Chibs and Tig sat in the back.

When they got the body inside, you all stood around the corpse, "check his tats."

They pulled up his sleeves, "a few prisons tats, Black Nation."

You nodded, "we need to get an ID." Before you could go outside to get the fingerprint scanner, Jax was producing a fire axe. With two violent swings, the stranger's hands were off his body.

"What are you doing Jackson?"

He puffed on his cigarette, "take one to Pope, have him ID the prints. I want affiliations, who he works for, everything."

You threw your hands up in the air, "I'm going to get an ID now so we don't have to send hands to anyone."

You left to get the kit and your laptop from the car while the others waited, "who's the other one for?"

Jax glared at the body, "Unser. Same request" You returned and knelt by the body.

"Why Unser?"

Boddy huffed, "because if he's working with Clay he'll lie about it."

You shook your head and pressed a dismember hand to the screen, "Charles Turner, pretty standard rap sheet, more time inside than out."

Before you could say more, Hale's ringtone pulled you away, "I'm sorry, I need to take this." You could tell something was wrong by the way Hale sounded, his voice was shaking and there were sirens screaming in the background. It was like your brain was stuck in mud, car crash, Abel badly hurt.

You came racing out, the body on the floor still there but out of your mind, "we have to go."

Jax knew something was wrong, he had never heard that tone in your voice, "what happened?"

You were already at the door, "it's my baby."

****

Jax wanted to throw up, after getting authorisation from Hale to travel under lights and sirens you slammed on the gas and drove like a mad woman, all Jax could do was hold on while you worked the old mustang like a high performance race car. "Did he say anything else?"

You shook your head as you ran the red light, "there was no paint on the back of the car and Gemma said someone was trying to hit her. I have a very bad feeling Jax."

"What?"

You took a deep breath, you were close to St Thomas but it felt like a million miles away, "Clay wouldn't put her at risk and he wouldn't risk breaking her heart by killing Abel, if he's ordered this, he would have told them not to hurt her."

Jax was catching up slowly, "so the only reason she would have crashed is because she wasn't sober."

Your eyes never left the road, "we're about to find out."

Sam and Ima were already at the hospital when you go there, Sam putting a hand on your face to slow your racing mind, Ima had clearly been crying, "I've already signed to consent papers, the surgeons are looking after him now. You can go through and be there if you want."

You rubbed your face, "go, it's alright." Seconds later, a nurse was coming to take to you and Jax back to the cardiac OR.

Abel was already out when you got there, Jax watching from behind the glass while he shifted from foot to foot, "Jesus, how long does this take?"

You took a deep breath, "they run the wire from his femoral artery up to his heart, thirty minutes at most if this is the fix."

Jax's eyes went wide, "and if it isn't?"

You shook your head, "we'll know soon." You looked at the monitor, "it looks like it's working, it's going to be ok my love."

"Like this kid hasn't been through enough shit."

Jax wouldn't stop moving, "this is on Gemma, if she was drunk or high I swear to God Jax."

Jax turned to you, his expression becoming angry, "I know, I know."

You grabbed Jax's hand as they went to deliver the shock and Jax felt you relax, "it worked, he's fine." Jax pulled you into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of your head, "we should go check on Gemma, they need to stitch him up, we don't need to see that."

On the way to the room, you stopped by a nurses cart and looked around, Jax slowing to watch you as you swiped a syringe, "what are you doing?"

You huffed, "testing a theory."

Clay was waiting when you got to the room, "fuck off."

He didn't move, "if you don't get the fuck out of this room right now you'll be happy you're in a hospital." The noise was waking Gemma, so you stepped closer to Clay, "I don't want to traumatise her anymore, get out." Maybe it was the expression on your face or the way Jax was standing behind you but Clay got up and left with a glare.

When Clay was out of view, you screwed the syringe into her IV and drew some blood before capping it and dropping it into your pocket. Gemma woke up soon after, looking around with worry. "Abel?"

You swallowed, "is in the peds ward. He had an irregular heartbeat due to the crash and needed a Cardiac Catheterisation, he's fine now."

That didn't ease her worry, "he was bleeding." you were trying to be gentle but Jax wasn't having it.

"What happened, were you drunk?"

Gemma looked at you and you crossed your arms over your chest, "there was no paint on the car Gem and you're a good driver, being run off the road in a car your size isn't that easy."

She shook her head, "no, I almost got away but a truck came out of nowhere just after the van pulled off, I was too busy pulling away from the van to see it."

"Jesus Christ, did you get a look at them?"

She blinked, "the van was dark brown, that's all I could see."

You pulled Gemma into a hug, all your worries forgotten, "I'm so glad you were the one driving, all Abel had was a cut on his head, that's where the blood came from, he's ok."

You saw her relax, "when can I see him?"

You smiled softly, "he's still asleep but you can see him when he wakes up." She smiled, "thank you."

"I'm just happy you're both ok." Before you could say more, Unser arrived.

Jax left to talk to him while you headed to Abel's room. In the hallway, you met up with Holt, who had come for moral support, "how's your boy?"

You shrugged, "he's fine. I need a favour."

Holt nodded, "anything."

You reached into your pocket, "test this blood for me, I need to know if there's anything in it."

Holt's eyes went wide, "you think Abel's grandmother was under the influence?"

"I don't know, but I want to find out."

****

Sam and Ima had wandered into Abel's room before you, "you guys doing alright?"

Ima wiped her face, "these guys have to go."

You had never heard her so angry, "I know, we're working on it, you didn't answer my question."

Sam sighed, "we're alright, the baby too, it's just been a long few weeks."

"You should go home and rest, the last thing we need is you back here because of an infection."

Sam shook his head, "I'll stay until Abel wakes up." You didn't argue, instead you pulled up a chair and waited for Jax to return.

Bobby walked in soon after, "Jax went to see Pope, Unser came through, we can trust him."

You sighed, "we better settle in, it's going to be a long day."

Just as you were getting comfortable, Wendy arrived, "what happened?"

You shrugged, "looks like road rage, Hale thinks it was random."

You readied yourself for a fight, "but Abel and Gemma are ok?"

You nodded, "fine, if you think you can…."

She cut you off, "I'm not going to use this against you, you've let me into Abel's life, the last thing I want to do is hurt that by pulling something at a time like this."

You were taken aback, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to that."

She waved her hand, "it's understandable, I came back into Abel's life when things were rough for you. I just want to be here with him."

You swallowed, "stay for as long as you like, I'm not sure when he's going to wake up."

She nodded, "where's Jax?"

You looked at Sam, "Club business, Gemma managed to get a look at the van, he's gone looking for it."

She huffed, "let's hope he gets to him before Hale does."

****

"The hand belonged to Charles Truner, Tyler's LaRoy's number two, he has the info on all his known associates. How's your boy?"

Jax shrugged, "alive."

Pope smiled, "and your old lady."

Jax huffed, "out for blood, she's not going to rest until these people are dead."

Pope nodded, "if someone went after my daughter, I want the same thing. The CIA are very nervous Jackson, they want to know if I'm still on board even with your… internal issues."

"Are you?"

Jax chose to ignore that Pope was aware of the Nomads, "of course, they assured me that their asset was dealing with the matter, I'm guessing that's still your future wife?"

Jax nodded, "yeah, I'm not happy she's had to jump back in, neither is she but the work's got to be done"

Pope chuckled and the tone changed, "August will help you if you need men, we don't want people who go after small children and elderly women in out ranks Jackson, you have free reign to deal with this how you see fit."

Jax heard the message loud and clear, get rid of them.

****

"I told you to scare her, not run her off the road. How did you not know Abel was in the back?"

Greg rubbed his aching face, "she was already all over the place when we pulled up on her, it's not our fault she was on something."

Clay shook his head, "that bitch isn't going to think that, she's going to boil us all alive if she finds out were the ones behind the attack."

Gogo huffed, "I don't know Clay, she seems harmless to me."

Clay's face turned cruel, "that's what everyone thinks. She's a fucking viper, if you piss her off, you'll be dead before you know what hit you."

Franky wasn't worried, "you said it yourself Clay, once Jax is gone, she's next."

****

Nero walked into Gemma's room, Chucky leaving with a smile. When they were alone, she started to cry, "hey, it's gonna be alright."

She shook her head, "I was stoned driving Abel. I lied about a truck, I couldn't swing the car around fast enough. I thought I'd be alright, I drive high all the time. I just didn't want to miss my chance with them."

"It's going to be ok baby, it's ok."

Gemma knew he was lying, "no, it's not. y/n isn't going to care, if I had been sober, I would have gotten away from the van, she'd know that."

Nero sighed, "she's a good girl, I'm sure she'll understand."

Gemma swallowed, "no she won't, she's been telling everyone to watch their backs, it was worse than getting her child hurt, I couldn't protect him because I was high, she and Jax are never going to forgive me if they find out."

"That will come back Gemma, you know how that shit works, you got to get in front of it. Tell them the truth."

A knock from Chucky broke the conversation, then Clay was rounding the corner and walking through the door. "I need to step out, my bowels very loose in situations like this."

Nero smiled, "well on that note. I'll check in on you."

Clay followed Nero, "I'll walk you out." Clay has grown bold since the crash, "whatever it is between you and my wife, it's over."

"Maybe we should let her make that call."

Clay shook his head, "I know you and Jax are tight and the Club appreciates your pussy salvation but make no mistake, you get in my way with Gemma, I'll kill you."

Nero didn't flinch, "don't worry, mano, I don't make mistakes, not like you."

****

Abel was still asleep when Holt came back from the lab, you waved him inside and he sat down, handing you an envelope, "where's Jax?

You shrugged, "finding the guys that tried to kill him and Chibs, what did you find?"

His face told you what you needed to know, "I went back to the scene, the only tire tracks were from Gemma's car and the van, and I had Angela look at CCVT on the road, no trucks entered any of the exits to the highway at the time of the crash. She lied, to what extent isn't for me to say, your answer is in there."

He patted your leg, "I'm sorry, I've bought in one of your backups, take as much time off as you need."

Without another word, he left. Sam clenched his jaw, "I'm gonna see what's going on out there."

He got up and left, taking his rage with him, "are you going to look at the tox screen?" Sam wasn't the only one who sounded angry, Ima wasn't happy with her and you could understand why.

"When Jax gets back."

Ima grabbed your hand, "if she was on something, I'm not letting her near my baby, ever."

"I know, I don't blame you."

****

Jax felt lost, sure he had got the guy who tried to kill him and Chibs but it left him with more questions than answers, either Gemma lied and there was no van or worse, the Nomads went after his family themselves. At least they had Franky on the hook, Jax just had to find a way to explain everything to you, without you going over the Club's head and killing them yourself.

****

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

Clay huffed, "I hate hospitals."

Juice nodded, you had sent him back to the Clubhouse for that very reason. "I can't find anything on anyone, I asked around, The Mayans are doing some digging but I think we're still in the dark."

Clay knew something was going on, "anything you need to tell me." Juice shook his head, "no, why?"

Clay smiled, Juice's tone told him he was on the right track, "well, Roosevelt was pressing you pretty hard when we got out."

Juice shrugged, "yeah, I guess."

"Why just you?"

Juice was getting worried, "I don't know."

Clay's voice got higher, he was trying to seem like he wasn't digging, "I think you do."

Juice huffed, "he's just an asshole cop."

Clay shoved Juice down as he went to stand up, "what's he know Juice?"

Juice felt his heart race, "nothing."

Clay wasn't buying it, "don't lie to me."

Juice swallowed, "I'm not."

Clay leaned in close, "hey, you can tell me the truth son."

"Please Clay, I can't."

Got you.

"You've got no choice. Tell me Juice."

Juice took a deep breath, "my father, he's black. Roosevelt tried to use him to get me to rat but…"

Clay smiled, "but y/n already knew and lied for you."

Juice nodded, "yeah. She told me she'd take it to her grave."

Clay felt like rubbing his hands together, he had Juice right where he wanted him, "I'm the one who set the Nomads in motion."

Juice wasn't shocked, "what happens now?"

Clay smiled, "you keep my secret, I keep yours." Juice nodded, the moment Clay was gone, he was going right to you.

****

"You should take your wife home."

Sam shook his head softly, Ima had fallen asleep against his shoulder hours ago, "nah, she's getting this weird pregnant lady strength, I'm worried she'd kill me."

Jax huffed, "yeah, I can see her doing that. Has Abel been awake?"

Sam shook his head, "for like a minute an hour ago. y/n just went to take a call, she'll be back in a bi…. speak of the devil, are you ears burning?" You rolled your eyes as you walked in and kissed Jax's cheek.

"Did you get the guys?"

Jax nodded, "only the ones that went after us, my guess is the Nomads were the ones that went after Gemma."

The envelope was burning a hole in your pocket, "Jax, I have something to tell you and you're not going to like it."

Jax crossed his arms over his chest, "what?"

You took a deep breath, "there was no sign of a truck Jax, the only treads that were there were Gemma's car and van's, traffic cameras show the roads in and out of the highway were free of trucks too."

You reached into your pocket, "I have the drug test, I figure we ask Gemma once more before we open it."

Jax looked at the white paper in your hand, "Sam, take Ima home, she doesn't need to stress if this goes wrong, and neither do you. The last thing we need is you popping a stitch."

Sam smiled sadly, "sure brother, call us when Abel's up and we'll come back." When Sam woke Ima, he didn't give her the chance to protest before he was taking her home.

"Thank you for that."

Jax swallowed, "you're not the only one worried about the stress on Ima and her baby y/n, let's not talk about it anymore."

Jax sat you down, his eyes still on the paper in your hand, "you wanna look?"

Jax huffed, "not really."

You handed it to him, "we don't have to but Jax, if she can't protect Abel because she's using drugs, we can't let her near him."

Jax rubbed his face, "I know."

Before he could say more, Juice came in looking like he had seen a ghost, "what's wrong Juicy?"

"I need to talk to you, alone."

Jax's eyebrows rose, "it's alright my love, I'll be back soon." You got up and followed Juice into a quiet hallway, "what's going on Juice?"

Juice was almost hyperventilating, "Clay knows about the black thing."

You did your best not to react, "he's not going to tell anyone Juice, he won't get anything out of it."

Juice was still panicked, "he's given you an assurance, hasn't he?"

He nodded, "let me guess, he's behind the Nomads?"

Juice's eyes went wide, "yeah, how did you know?"

You smiled, "I've been lying, the bootprints were a match to Greg and I have fingerprints on the shells from the bullets that hit Sam. Jax, Opie, Bobby, Happy, Chibs and Sam already know all the details, we're telling people as we need to. I'm still working on Galen so we can't risk this getting out."

Juice relaxed, "what do I do?"

You smiled, "you come clean Juice, if it goes wrong, then I can get you out of the country and with a new identity in hours. Then I'm talking Abel and leaving his father because there is no way I will let my child be raised by a racist."

Juice blinked, "you would really leave Jax over this?"

You nodded, "in a heartbeat. Now let me make some calls and then we're going to put this to bed."

Ten minutes later, you were returning to Juice with a smile, "it's all set, if shit goes wrong, I have a plane waiting to take you to where ever you want to go. You ready?"

Juice gave a nod, "alright how do you want to do this?"

Juice took a deep breath, "can I get Chibs here?"

You smiled, "sure, how about we do it at my place, a little later, that way no one's worrying about Abel?"

Juice nodded, "that sounds good, what are you going to tell Jax?"

You shrugged, "that you need to tell him something later on and he better be ok about it if he ever wants to see me again."

He stopped you, "maybe it can wait until tomorrow? I don't want make things worse."

You nodded, "of course, you wanna come in and spend some time with Abel?"

Juice shook his head, "nah, it will just make things harder."

****

"Mummy, my head hurts."

You shot up off Jax's shoulder, almost knocking him in the head on the up, "hey little man, I'll go get a nurse to have a look." You ran out of the room and came back in record time, Jax having climbed into bed next to him.

The nurse cleaned his cut and gave him some pain meds, "you feeling a bit better now?"

Abel nodded and rubbed his face, "yes." You waved Jax over and lay down opposite to Jax so Abel was in the middle, "is grandma ok?"

Jax smiled, "yeah, little man, she's ok. Do you remember anything?"

Abel nodded, "grandma's car went funny, then she hit something."

"Did you see a big truck in front of you?"

Abel shook his head, "no, there was a big car behind us."

You looked at Jax, "we need to look at those results Jackson."

He took a deep breath, "just a little bit longer, I want to enjoy the peace while it lasts."

****

When you left the room to get coffee, the Nomads were standing around, if you didn't know any better, you'd think they felt guilty, "have you found anything?"

Franky shook his head, "nah, but we're still looking. We're gonna find the guys that went after your family."

You smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder, "thank you for everything, you've been such a help to Jax and the Club."

The looks they shared made it clear that you had lulled them into a false sense of security, it wouldn't be long now they made another slip up.

****

"That's your fourth coffee, you doing ok?"

You rubbed your face, "my head's acting up, I'll be alright."

Jax made a face, "go home, Abel's going to be asleep most of the night anyway."

You shook your head, "we need to talk to Gemma first."

The envelope was still in your pocket, "I know, do you think she lied about that too?"

You shrugged, "for as much as Holt tries to be stonefaced, he loves Abel, his reaction pretty much told me what's in it."

Jax nodded, "yeah, I know, he called me to apologise."

You huffed, "he's a good man, despite the fact that he thinks we show too much affection towards each other in public."

Jax chuckled, "because he shakes Kevin's hand when they meet up for lunch."

You giggled, "yeah. Don't knock it, that could be us in ten years."

Jax shook his head, "I can't wait."

Knock Knock

It was Nero, Jax got up and let him in, "what's going on man?"

Nero swallowed, "can I talk you outside for a minute?" Jax left with a nod, his hand lingering on your cheek. They walked to an empty hallway and Nero stopped, "Gemma lied about the truck coming at her."

Jax snarled, "I know."

Nero's face remained calm, "what are you going to do."

Jax huffed, "she almost killed my kid."

"So what pres, you're gonna beat the shit out of your mother, hasn't that been done enough by your family."

Jax shook his head, walking away in a rage, "she's your problem now."

Jax returned and the conversation turned back to the tox screen but as you reached into your pocket, Gemma walked in, "maybe we ask her first."

Jax stood up, his face going hard, "are you going to tell her gonna tell her or am I."

Gemma stopped in her tracks, "I love him so much."

You stood up and walked next to Jax, reaching into your pocket, "this is a drug screen, I don't want to have to get my answers from this."

She glared at you, "you ran a drug test on me?"

"Yes, I did, there were no treads from a truck Gemma, and there was no paint on your car, there has to be a reason you lost control."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "why haven't you opened it?"

You huffed, "because I want to give you the chance to come clean." Jax stepped closer, putting himself between her and Abel.

"There was no truck, I was driving high and couldn't right the car after the van pulled away. I just didn't want to miss my chance with Abel." Rage, all you felt was white hot rage, you understood what Frank meant when he told you there's no anger on earth like the anger you feel to someone who hurts your child.

"I'll be back in a moment." You walked out, heading right towards the guys, "can someone please take the gun off my hip."

You raised your arms and Chibs walked over, lifting your shirt and taking the gun out of its holster, "why?"

You took a deep breath, "because Gemma was high when she got into the car with Abel and I don't want to do anything I might regret." You walked back into the room, your shirt over your belt showing the missing gun, a brief look of fear coming over Jax's face.

"I love you Gemma, I really do but you're done, you don't call, see or come near my child until you can be trusted to keep them safe. Driving high is one unforgivable thing, but driving high while our enemies are hunting us is another. You've done more than just get into the car when you shouldn't have, you've failed to protect my child when I handed him over to you for just that."

She stood there, her eyes growing wet, "Jax can get your key and we'll be changing the alarm codes, you won't be getting a new one for a very long time. You should stay away from me until you've got whatever's going on in your head sorted because I don't trust myself around you right now. Now please, get out of my sight."

Jax relaxed when she left, "thank you for not killing her."

His eyes were still stuck on your empty holster, "had we not been in public, I would have."

****

You and Jax left the hospital late, having left Opie and Kip to stay with Abel. As you climbed out of the shower and crawled into Jax's open arms, you took a deep breath to drop the next bomb, "Juice and Chibs will be here in the morning, Juice has some things he needs to talk to you about."

Jax's eyebrows furrowed, "it's not my place to say anything Jax, just leave it be until the morning."

Jax sighed, "do you ever regret moving here?"

You shook your head, "not for a single second, this will all work itself out Jax. Let your mum get over Clay and get her shit together, maybe spending some time away with Nero will get her back to her old self."

Jax huffed, "how are you so forgiving."

You smiled sadly, "because she's your mother and you love her, I want nothing more than to put a bullet in her brain but I love her too and killing her would just cause more pain. I won't stay angry at her forever, I just need time so I don't look at her and see my father's face staring back at me."

Jax huffed, "I would have let you shoot her."

You nodded, "I know, that's why I got rid of the gun."

Jax swallowed, "how long before we can bring Clay and the Nomads to the table?"

You shrugged, "Galen in back in two days, I'll know after that. Vance has already greenlit him, once the Irish are squared away he's even more of a dead man than he is now. As for the Nomads, they have no idea we're onto them."

Jax went to reply, but Ima was knocking on the door. You invited her in and she sat in the bed next to you, "I have an idea, can I talk to you in private?"

Jax didn't protest, waving his hand as you went to leave the room with Ima in tow, "don't get up, I need a drink anyway."

Jax left, shutting the door on his way out, "what's your idea?"

She smiled, "you're not going to like it, but I think it's going to end things."

Part 52

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