#i grew up with so many other interpretations (including one played VERY gay by noted bisexual man Jeremy Brett) on top of the stories too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vidavalor · 3 years

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I can't help but notice that back in the first episode, Walker referred to Sam and Bucky as "Cap's wingmen" to Sam, implying that he doesn't really view the relationship between them as anything but this. He sees the Captain as the show and his backup as sidekicks. As much as Walker did genuinely care for Lemar, he also treated him like this in the group settings the whole show. He does all the talking, doesn't introduce Lemar to Sam and Bucky, who have to ask him who he is. Lemar could temper Walker a bit but Walker still sees himself as the show and Lemar a tool to help with his success more than anything else. Why does this matter in the context of Sam and Bucky?

Because John uses the word 'partner' to Bucky twice in reference to Sam and this implies that he can tell that Sam and Bucky roll differently than he does and treat one another differently. But Walker thinks this is dumb because Sam doesn't have the serum and Bucky is stronger physically. He doesn't get why Bucky doesn't act like Walker himself does-- in the leadership role, with Sam following as his wingman.

Bucky replies that Sam has dealt with worse than Karli (and clearly, ironically, means The Winter Soldier in part here, plus Thanos, etc.) He is making it clear that he doesn't see Sam as lesser than him because he's not a supersoldier-- that it isn't all about brute force. In saying this, he's saying that Sam has strengths to bring to the table that are not super physical strength and Bucky respects them. (By contrast, try to imagine Walker recognizing that Lemar had similar strengths. Imagine him saying it aloud, in front of other soldiers, including ones who were objectively physically stronger than him. Impossible, right?) Just by saying this, Bucky is showing another kind of strength that he possesses that John does not-- he's man enough to be a good, respectful partner. Which brings us to that word...

Bucky adds that Sam isn't his partner. This can be read a lot of different ways and has several overlapping meanings that are all probably a bit correct. On one level, he is saying they aren't working together as partners. (Even if the show has proved they are.) They still haven't really defined what it is they're doing together to one another and like hell is Bucky going to let John Walker be the one to label it, right? On another level, saying Sam isn't his partner is saying he doesn't view it that way because he is actually there to back up Sam. He's following Sam. Sam might see Bucky as a partner (even if they haven't discussed this) but Bucky might see it more as his role to back Sam up, similar to how he backed up Steve during the war. Sam, likely, wants to be more partners and has been allowing Bucky that space-- it is what they have evolved into-- but it isn't as clearly defined between them yet. But there's also the other use of it...

Walker, the physical embodiment of toxic masculinity, is attempting to bully Bucky a little, using words because he can't possibly best him physically at this point. The use of 'partner' from Walker comes off as aggressively sexual so here is a case of Walker being that asshole on the football team that we all know he was, trying to look bigger and tougher and more macho through thinly-veiled harassment of guys around him who dared to be comfortable with backing each other up and showing any caring openly. It is worth noting here that we have seen Sam and Bucky's whole evolution in the works here but Walker was just shown two guys he had no idea were arguing with one another because they put up a completely unified front in front of him. To Walker, this all is a little much for him and he tries to slander it by implying that it is gay, which he sees as not masculine.

Bucky denies being Sam's partner here for the already mentioned reasons regarding how they work together and that kind of partnership but make no mistake, he knew exactly what Walker was saying. So, another way of interpreting it is that Bucky was answering not in terms of the field work (where they do act as partners, really, even if Bucky might still be viewing it as something a little different... and, if he is, I hope Sam sets him straight on this being equal footing)... but I think Bucky was answering it regarding the sexual/romantic partners that Walker was trying to call them. But he did so in a way that is protective of Sam and makes him, ironically, a good partner.

Bucky is the character, remember, whose experience in the modern world included testing out and not minding casually outing himself as interested in men in the first episode, to a woman he was on a date with, no less. This isn't to say he's torn off the closet door from the era he grew up in in which he would have had to have been into men in secret. One thing he does get though is this kind of asshole like Walker that has sadly not evolved since the 30s. He responds in a way that he means to be protective of Sam, which is to say with his tone essentially "no, John, actually we are just like this because we aren't assholes like you and even if we were, we would still be better than you." But even if you think Bucky and Sam are already a thing by this episode or are aware of each other's potential feelings, Bucky isn't denying it to Walker as if it's something that makes then vulnerable or lesser as men. He doesn't have the same definition of it as Walker does.

Bucky is responding in a way where his tone says he gets what Walker was implying, thinks Walker is shit for not having a clue when it comes to what being a man is, and then casually answers the question as if Walker had meant field partners because, of course, that's what he meant, right? He makes Walker look stupid (which he is) by answering with word choice that says he didn't get the insinuation, even if his tone says he totally did. So, why not just be like "and so what if we were fucking, Walker! We still could kick your dumb ass anyday!"? Because Sam.

Because Bucky, who knows what it is like to be a soldier forced to sometimes be around guys like Walker, likely does not yet know how Sam approaches it. He likely doesn't know if Sam is out. The canon plays it as if literally everyone just assumes Bucky is bi or gay or basically anything that isn't straight but Sam is a different story. Bucky is not about to out Sam in front of everybody. He likely doesn't know yet how out Sam even is with others or how he feels about it. Out of respect for Sam, he's not about to let Walker's attempt at deriding them get anywhere. They literally could have been sleeping together for awhile now and Bucky is still not going to do anything about others knowing, least of all John Walker, unless or until that is what Sam wants and based on the canon, I would doubt very much if that had been a conversation they've already had by Ep 4.

But Walker, the terrifying awful dumb fuck, tries it again later-- this time, not in front of Sam. He saw what Bucky was doing, understood it, was embarrassed by Bucky making him look like a fool so what does he do? He bullies again. He goes at the core of Bucky in the way only the worst bullies can. He does it when Sam had to be in there alone, with a supersoldier, and Bucky is confident in Sam and giving him the space to do his thing, and then Walker lashes out at this less macho and violent plan to Bucky, calling Sam Bucky's partner again, trying to twist a knife by saying how could Bucky leave Sam in there and does he want his blood on his hands?

It's unspeakably cruel. But you might me mistaken if you think Bucky gave in here, even if it was a worry he had as he always worries for Sam because he cares and he has lost so many people and hurt so many that thinking about it happening again hurts him deeply. Bucky didn't verbally respond to Walker's taunts-- he did something much stronger than words could convey.

He didn't deny any definition of partner for Sam to Walker and he let Walker see how cruel he was by tearing up a bit, the pain in his eyes. Walker had no idea what to do with this. He had been trying to make Bucky angry. Instead, Bucky is silently strong enough to show how he feels *without* masking it all behind a macho, angry cover like Walker. Bucky's face says it all: yeah, you asshole, I love him. Yeah, I'm worried I could hurt him and have his blood on my hands. But also yeah, I survived being the Winter Soldier-- in general and just recently-- and I go to therapy now and I'm making amends and I'm free. Freer than you will ever be because which one of us will tear up and be a little afraid for another man and show him open care in this episode and which one will respond to pain with violence that begets nothing but more trauma and pain? Which one of us, Walker, is a brainwashed soldier and which one of us is a strong, decent man trying to be a good friend and partner? Which one of us, by the end of the episode, will make his partner feel like he'd take the serum in a heartbeat and which one of us will respond to his partner's fear at being vulnerable with "I'm going with you"?

He didn't speak a word in that scene but man. Whew. When it comes to toxic bullies?

Bucky Barnes can do this all day.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #john walker

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passionate-reply · 3 years

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This week on Great Albums: one of my favourite “hidden gems” of the mid-1980s, Blancmange’s *Mange Tout* is about as extra and in-your-face as it gets, full of dense arrangements, gender-bending bombast, and musical instruments from Southern Asia.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! This time around, I’ll be taking a look at one of my favourite hidden gems from the mid-1980s, the sophomore LP of Blancmange, entitled Mange Tout.

Despite their relative obscurity today, particularly in comparison to many of their contemporaries, Blancmange weren’t total strangers to the pop charts. Their first full-length LP, 1982’s Happy Families, would yield the biggest hit of their career: “Living on the Ceiling,” which peaked at #7.

Music: “Living on the Ceiling”

While it never got to be a chart-topper, “Living on the Ceiling” is still an unforgettable track in its own ways. Perhaps its most distinctive feature is its use of the traditional Indian instruments, the sitar and tabla. While 80s synth-pop is certainly full of Orientalism, most of the references you’ll find are pointing to the Far East, and the perceived aesthetic sophistication and techno-utopian futurism of China and Japan. Aside from certain works of Bill Nelson, Blancmange were pretty much the only ones engaging with South Asian musical themes. Blancmange’s instrumentalist, Stephen Luscombe, grew up in London’s Southall neighbourhood, which had a high population of immigrants from Southern Asia, which led him to a lifelong interest in Indian music. Combined with electronics, it makes for a totally unique sound, which ends up sounding better in practice than it might in theory.

While any time White European musicians turn to alternative cultures as artistic tools, there’s a valid cause for some degree of criticism and concern, there’s also an artsy, left-field un-hipness about Blancmange, who seemingly drew from Indian music not only alone, but purely for sonic enjoyment. Unlike the exotic fantasies spun by groups like Japan, none of Blancmange’s songs seem propelled by any specific idea or ideology about India, but rather seem to tackle common pop themes of love and heartbreak against a seemingly *non sequitur* musical backdrop. While we, as listeners, might have strong associations with particular sounds, this is ultimately more cultural than innate, and there’s really no reason why a composition with Indian instruments must revolve around some theme of “Indian-ness”; it isn’t like people in India don’t also fall in love. However you feel about these influences, the role of Indian instruments is only increased on Mange Tout, where they appear on multiple tracks, including the album’s most successful single, “Don’t Tel Me.”

Music: “Don’t Tell Me”

On Mange Tout tracks like “Don’t Tell Me,” not only do the instruments return, but so do the session musicians who had performed on “Living on the Ceiling”: Deepak Khazanchi, on sitar, and Pandit Dinesh, on the percussion instruments tabla and madal. “Don’t Tell Me” is a track with a lot of pop appeal, lightweight and singable, which makes it a bit surprising that it was actually the final single released from the album. It certainly impresses me that Blancmange managed to create such bubbly and finely tuned pop, given that neither of their core members came from any formal or technical background: Luscombe had had a history in avant-garde music ensembles, and vocalist Neil Arthur became interested in music via the DIY culture of punk. Their first-ever release, the 1980 EP Irene & Mavis, sounds more like Throbbing Gristle than Culture Club, but they somehow managed to arrive at something quite sweet and palatable in the end. That said, it’s also possible for sweet to eventually become too sweet--and this line is provoked on the album’s divisive second single, “That’s Love, That It Is.”

Music: “That’s Love, That It Is”

In contrast to the lighter “Don’t Tell Me,” “That’s Love, That It Is” is utterly bombastic, with a vicious intensity. The instrumentation and production style is dense to the point of being borderline overwhelming. By this point in his life, Stephen Luscombe had recently discovered that he was gay, and his time spent in nightclubs that catered to the gay community provided another pillar of Blancmange’s signature sound: the influence of the queer disco tradition, which is almost certainly the source of this tightly-packed instrumental arrangement style. Blancmange never seem to be mentioned in the same breath as other stars of queer synth-pop like Bronski Beat, Soft Cell, and the Pet Shop Boys, presumably due to the combination of their overall obscurity and the fact that Luscombe was never the face of their band, but I see no reason not to include them in the same pantheon of camp. Speaking of queerness, it’s also worth noting how Blancmange played with gender, particularly on their cover of “The Day Before You Came.”

Music: “The Day Before You Came”

A solid eight years before Erasure’s iconic Abba-Esque, Blancmange offered their own interpretation of an ABBA classic with “The Day Before You Came.” In their hands, it’s a languid dirge, and a meditation on quotidian miseries for which the titular event seems to offer little respite. The unchanged lyrics, portraying the narrator working in an office and watching soap operas at night, are subtly feminine-coded, but the deep and unmistakably masculine voice of vocalist Neil Arthur seems to muddle those connotations. While it is a cover, I’m tempted to sort it into the same tradition as Soft Cell’s “Bedsitter” and the Pet Shop Boys’ “Left To My Own Devices,” as a work which musically elevates the everyday life of a campily self-obsessed character to the sort of melodrama the narrator perceives it to have.

I’ve spent a lot of time praising the instrumental side of their music so far, but it’s also true that Blancmange wouldn’t be Blancmange without Arthur’s contributions. The presence of his rough and untrained voice, with the added gruffness of a Northern accent, draws a line between these tracks and a typical pop production, and he sells us quite successfully on the gloomy, ominous feeling of tracks like “The Day Before You Came” and the album’s lead single, “Blind Vision.”

Music: “Blind Vision”

On the cover of Mange Tout, we find an assortment of seemingly unrelated items, which form a sort of graphic wunderkammer against a pale beige backdrop. Perhaps the best theme that could be assigned to them is that of travel--we see several means of transportation, such as a boat, a motorbike, and an airplane flying above a map, as well as items that can be taken as symbols of exotic locales, such as a North American cactus, and an elephant and Zulu nguni shield from Africa. Only the harp is clearly evocative of music itself--and this instrument won’t even be found on the album! The album’s title, “Mange Tout,” suggests that we are getting “full” Blancmange, or “all of” Blancmange. Taken together, the cover and title seem to imply that this album is stuffed to the brim, and contains a whole world of musical ideas. I would definitely agree that that’s a major motif of the album: it’s audacious, explosive, and free-wheeling. It very much feels like an album that was put together on the back of a first initial success, with a pumped-up budget and bold creative vision, and hence pulls no punches. Perhaps the most compelling feature of Mange Tout, and the primary reason I recommend this album so highly, is its unbridled enthusiasm for what it’s doing. Even in its ostensibly experimental moments, Mange Tout feels not like an album that is “trying” something, but rather one that boldly and assuredly proclaims the things it does, and embraces a kind of “more is more” maximalism.

In hindsight, it’s easy to see Mange Tout as the creative as well as commercial peak of Blancmange’s career. Their follow-up release, 1985’s Believe You Me, is far from the worst album I’ve ever heard, but it definitely doesn’t feel quite the same as the “classic” Blancmange works, adopting a more middle-of-the-road, radio-friendly synth-pop direction, with less of the South Asian influences and experimentation that really set them apart in the saturated synth-pop landscape. While not a work devoid of merit, Believe You Me was a relative commercial dud, and the duo would split soon after, chiefly citing personal and creative differences--though they did have a brief reunion in the early 2010s.

Music: “Lose Your Love”

My favourite track on Mange Tout is “All Things Are Nice,” which, alongside the neo-doo-wop “See the Train,” would be classed as one of the more experimental tracks on the album. Full of tension, “All Things Are Nice” alternates between eerily whispering vocals from Arthur, and a variety of samples from other media--which was still a relatively cutting-edge technique for the time. “All Things Are Nice” is almost certainly the most conceptual track on the album: as samples discuss world war, and Arthur whispers that “we can’t keep up with it,” the song is probably to be interpreted as a commentary on the runaway nature of technology and so-called “progress” in the modern age. The titular assertion that “all things are nice” seems to be ironic--or perhaps it embodies a sheer love of chaos and unpredictability, for their own sake, which would certainly fit the album’s mood. It also feels like it might be a sort of defense of the album itself: like I said, *Mange Tout* is serving us “all of Blancmange,” and isn’t it fun to get to have all of something? That’s everything for today--as always, thanks for listening!

Music: “All Things Are Nice”

#music #great albums #blancmange

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neighborhood-goblin · 3 years

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Lmao remember that COF College AU

Finally decided majors and details for some of the characters I plan to include XD

My first time using a cut lol

Tristan

Business Major

Cassian absolutely wants him to inherit the family business

Tris isn’t so thrilled by that

Sev and him are roommates

Neither of them can cook anything other than ramen or pizza rolls

Sometimes they order pizza

Disaster bi on so many levels

Went to one GSA club meeting but then noped right back into the closet

Not out to Cassian or most of his friends yet

The only person who knows is Sev

Has a brown tabby cat named Rex

duh

lmao going back through there’s like nothing here

they def got longer as they went on

Nyk

Linguistics, Interpretation, and Translation Major

(In HOF she is really interested in the Pyrean language and lore so I thought it fit)

Was homeless for a while

Ran away as soon as she graduated high school

(She couldn’t be around Val any longer)

Applied for a lot of scholarships and was able to gather enough money to attend college

Roommates with Sparrow

Helps Sparrow get to her classes sometimes

Elliot, Riella, and Kade come over to their dorm a lot

Elliot cooks for them

Probs gonna be bi and genderfluid in this au

Has a calico cat named Xephyra

Phyrie for short

Is a part of the GSA club

The GSA club consists of Anders, Elliot, Sparrow, and Kade

Sev

Fine Arts Major

Is really good at drawing but also likes painting and sculpting, too

Roommates with Tristan

Would rather die than ask Tris to get something off of a high shelf for him

He’s 5′3�� (160.02 cm)

Def petite

Tris put a whiteboard on the fridge to write shopping lists on but now they both just use it to write notes to each other

“Saw u staring at Nyk earlier HMMMMMM”

“stfu like you weren’t ogling that dude she was with”

Disaster gay but everyone just assumes he’s straight like ????

After his parents died he bounced around a few foster homes but was adopted by a doctor named Hestia when he was fifteen

He loves his mama and visits her on weekends

The food he brings back to the dorm is the only good stuff he and Tris ever eat

Knows Kade but only a little

All of my modern Sev hcs still apply

Kade

Veterinary Medicine Major

Shares the same major as Sparrow and they’re decent friends

He helps Sparrow get to the classes they share when Nyk can’t

Loves animals and is planning to adopt a doggie soon

Roommates with Elliot and Riella

He lived in a really crappy place before he became friends with Riella

The sibs invited him to move in with them (Kade also obviously helps with rent)

Became good friends with Nyk and he and the sibs spend a lot of time at her/his dorm

Used to shadow Hestia at the clinic (before he decided he wanted to be a vet and not a people doctor) and she gushed all the time about her son

He met Sev and def thinks Sev is adorable

Has also seen Sev around campus but hasn’t worked up the courage to talk to him yet

Demi and gay

Is a part of the GSA club

Thinks Anders is funny

Almost no one agrees

Elliot

Culinary Arts Major

Idk it just came to me and I was like “might as well”

Cooks for Riella, Kade, Nyk, and Sparrow regularly

Has a golden retriever named Jax

Jax is crazy

He gets the zoomies

Jax is usually wary of strangers but he’s warmed up to Riella, Kade, Nyk, and is close with Sparrow

Aroace

Attends GSA

Regularly tells Anders where he can shove his musical numbers and snide comments

Roommates with Riella and Kade

Took online classes until Riella graduated so they could move together

Met Kade through Riella

Can’t handle spicy food and is appalled by the fact that Kade, Riella, and Sparrow are all fueled by eating the spiciest things possible

Refuses to eat anything with pepper on it, but keeps a shaker for his friends and sister

Nyk and him bond over being unable to tolerate anything hotter than a hot tamale candy

Likes driving

Owns a minivan

It’s unclear as to why he needs a minivan he just has one

He named it Elliot jr. as a joke once but now no one lets him forget it

Is super ultimate BFFs with Sparrow

Helps her around campus when Nyk and Kade can’t

Sparrow

Veterinary Medicine Major

Nyk, Kade, and Elliot help her around campus (still blind and thriving)

Owns a parrot named Chirp and guide dog that everyone is 95% sure is just a wolf that Sparrow illegally bought a service animal vest for

No one knows the name of the dog

Sparrow claims that Chirp can talk but only does it in front of her

Sometimes Elliot will also claim that he’s heard Chirp talk but no one can tell if he’s telling the truth or not (He’s not even sure at this point)

Lesbian ace and is highkey dating Riella

Elliot pretends it annoys him but secretly he’s thrilled because he adores the both of them (he’d never reveal this but Sparrow knows anyway)

Attends GSA

Brings her animals

Chirp usually just sits on her shoulder, and the dog at her feet

Has super unruly hair

Only a select few are permitted to touch it: Elliot, Riella, and Nyk

Nyk will braid it sometimes, but Sparrow usually likes to have it free

Roommates with Nyk

Nyk decorated their room super cute, fairylights strung all around it and polaroids on the walls (though I guess she can’t see them rip)

Nyk loves Sparrow’s animals, and the animals get a long great with Phyrie (except for one time that Phyrie attacked Chirp but that doesn’t happen anymore)

Riella

Dance Major

Not much is known about Riella but I just thought this’d be a cool major for her

idk she gives off ballerina vibes for some reason

Sapphic and dating Sparrow

Roommates with Elliot and Kade

All three of them share a bookshelf and love talking about books

They also play video games a lot together

Minecraft is not a competition but do not play with the three of them they will win

They share an ACNH island on the switch they pooled money for

Loves having her hair in french braids

Nyk usually braids it for her before classes

Ig Nyk just braids everyone’s hair smh

Wears rompers everywhere

Met Kade when a creepy dude approached her on her way to a class and Kade pretended to know her to get her away from the creepy dude

He started walking her to that class just in case and they became friends

Anders

Performing Arts Major

Super dramatic and way into theater

Has been out of the closet for years as genderqueer and pan (Prefers he/him pronouns; he’s used them all his life and he��s used to them)

Goes to GSA club and loves telling obnoxious stories

Has hinted at being in a relationship but no one knows who it is, and the club tries to find out sometimes (It’s Latham)

Grew up with Latham and they started dating when they were seventeen

Latham isn’t out of the closet yet, so he asked Anders to keep it a secret

Anders doesn’t mind at all, he’s just happy to be with the boy he loves :)

Was a part of marching band in high school, and still practices his trumpet in his free time

Regularly texts everyone a gross amount of emojis

Latham and him moved in together when they graduated and started going to college

Latham does all the cooking

The last time Anders attempted to cook anything, the pan caught on fire (the cooking pan not Anders) (XDDD) (I think I’m hilarious)

He’s not allowed to cook anymore

They each have their own beds but usually sleep in the same one when they don’t have guests (they are both huge cuddlers) (Anders is the little spoon)

Has a pet snake because he lives to be extra (It’s a ball python)

(I can’t remember what Anders’ phoenix is named so the snake is nameless for now)

Latham

Pre-Law Studies Major

Wants to become a lawyer

Absolutely talks crap about everyone he knows with Anders

Identifies as queer but is closeted

His family are all very religious and anti-LGBTQ+ so he’s scared to come out to them

The only person who knows is Anders

His father in particular scares him

His dad really doesn’t approve of Latham being ‘friends’ with Anders, ever since Anders came out publicly

Is decent at cooking (nowhere near as good as Elliot)

Doesn’t have a lot of friends

Kind of knows Tristan and Elliot but not really

Has a Pomeranian named Xane

He’s obsessed w/ little dogs

#Crown of Feathers #hope u guys like it #homophobia tw #caps tw

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midzelink · 4 years

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Well, this is certainly something that happened.

In response to a post I made stating the various reasons I don’t like the Twilight Princess manga (which was in and of itself a response to some replies I got on this other post), I got a barrage of replies from a user (who will go unnamed, they’ve already been blocked) in defense of the thing - which, ordinarily, wouldn’t be a big deal! People are allowed to have different opinions and I never once stated anyone who liked it should feel bad! I started writing up a reply to them in the middle of this barrage, but their replies just kept coming and got subsequently worse, yet it was all...so bizarre to the point that it would feel weird to not address that it happened. I’m putting all of this under a read more, because wow this is a wall of text, but also this is the kind of nonsense I want people to avoid having to read if it can be helped. At any rate, this is what they had to say:

I don’t know, this really honestly feels like reaching. It feels like criticism for the sake of criticism without actual narrative flaws being shown, but your anger seems to stem from “This interpretation is different from what I thought even though I admit all official art shows the charachter this way” and “Link HAD to be raised in ordon because of one quote from the enclosed instruction book”. Twilight Princess was literally made to be “the edgy zelda” in reponse to fan overreaction to wind waker. This is undeniable. All official art depicts link this way. He turned into a freaking wolf in the middle of the twilight craze! but no, he *can’t* be like that because of random expressions he makes when holding pets or items? First of all, even in the manga he isn’t an edgeboy all the time.

Secondly, it feels like you're merely glossing over all that was added in terms of charachterization! In the original game, I felt nothing for Ilia. She showed up, yelled at link for maybe getting epona slightly hurt, and then got kidnapped. Maybe a bit of tsundere stuff, but seriously, Midna is literally the best tsundere ever. You can't out midna-minda in her own damn game. XD In the manga, Ilia and Link actually have a warm and very close relationship, you can see them through all the slice of life in the first volume. I really grew to like her and truly felt sorry for her when bad things happened to her. She actually gets far, FAR more respect as a person and charachter in the manga than merely a trophy for link to get back. But no, you're far too focused on subtle expressions and insinuations because that is literally all anyone had to go on for the longest time. In reality, Link, as has been said many times, is an avatar as much as he is a charachter. You can't gloss over his official art depicitons any more than I can random expressions he makes when finding a heart piece.

Not to mention, you call the blog midzelink yet you make zero mention of the super obvious wlw-as-fuck zelda flashback in volume 5? It's a sad thing that Shad being straight is something I have seen people complain about, yet Zelda and Midna's relationship getting such a huge focus passes without a peep. It's a disturbing trend I see in my fellow Fujoshi. And on the subject of Shad, his relationship with Ilia is far more likely something included to give her a happy ending, rather than just seeing link off into the sunset to try to find midna and live forever alone in ordon. On that note as well, Link not being from Ordon fits PERFECTLY with the ending, Link being the only hylian, link being from there, all of this is SCREAMING that that is the place he never truly belonged, the manga simply takes it one step further and in this version says he was never from there any way, cementing that. It gives the concept that Link was using Ordon as a place to avoid being who he was extra weight. And Honestly, it makes him less of a jerk in the end for leaving ordon, as he never truly belonged.

And It's actually a narrative flaw in the original for Lanaryu to make mention of misusing the power of the master sword and then having nothing come of that warning later. If you're going to set chekov's gun down on the table, you better use it by the end of the play. It's simply capitalzing on something that the story actually set up, and playing into the tone of the story nintendo marketed it. But really, most of my annoyance dosen't come from the fact that you don't like the manga. People can dislike what they want. It's that all your grievances seem to come from stuff at the very beginning, and you liked it for so long, when they were there just as much as they are now. This kinda reeks of someone else slowly influencing you over time, rather than your own thoughts.

Phew.

Okay.

First of all, what the f**k, dude. Who leaves this kind of essay in the replies of someone else’s post?

Secondly,

(Note: a “fujoshi” is a woman who likes yaoi, usually used in a derogatory manner, but it seems to be self-proclaimed in this case. That is to say, this person proudly announced they fetishized MLM relationships, and then proceeded to tell me my opinion was Bad and Wrong because I didn’t praise Himekawa for a scene that ultimately wasn’t WLW at all, even though I and a lot of other people liked to interpret it that way. Do not give Himekawa credit for gay rep, ever.)

Again, I was going to reply to this person civilly...up until I read the Midzel/Fujoshi reply, which decimated me on impact. There’s a heckuva lot I could say in response to, well...everything else, but in the interest of making this post shorter, I’ll break it down into a bulleted list:

Link being raised in Ordon is not based on “one quote from the enclosed instruction book” - Ilia specifically states when she gets her memory back, “When we were young, you and I... You were always there... You were always beside me... Link.” (I already mentioned this in my original post, which they evidently neglected to read properly.) And this is to speak nothing of the familial bond between Link and all of the Ordonians that is fairly evident within the context of the game, i.e. Rusl trusting him to deliver a very important gift to the Royal Family, or all the children looking up to him as much as they do.

Saying “all official art depicts Link this way” in defense of his characterization in the manga being edgy (when his in-game persona is far-flung from that) is pretty shaky when you realize that the same can be said for Skyward Sword, which arguably has the most emotive and happy Link of any game. In all of SS Link’s official art, he is angry, mid-yell, or stone-faced. That’s how character art works. That’s how marketing works. They wanted to market TP especially as a darker game, yes, in response to the critiques of The Wind Waker, but this is literally a man who smiles softly every time he picks up a dog or a cat. You can pet the goats. You get excited about fishing. If TP Link should be “edgy” because of his official art and no other reason, then SS Link should be, too.

it’s your own damn fault you felt nothing for Ilia, Ilia owns, suck it

MIDNA IS NOT A TSUNDERE, HOLY SHIT. SHE’S NOT. I WILL NEVER CONCEDE THIS. She doesn’t mistreat Link because she likes him, she mistreats him because he is nothing to her when they first meet, and this is a stance that slowly changes as they get to know each other! She stops treating him like garbage when she stops seeing him as such, and her behavior throughout the game post-Zelda is a mixed bag of shame over how she treated him previously and a longing to make up for it. How anyone can construe that as tsundere I will never, ever understand.

the Midzel comment is so wack I really can’t believe I had to read that shit with my own two eyes

no, Link likely isn’t from Ordon (again, already addressed in my original post, but again, I guess this person can’t read), but he was certainly raised there, see: the first bullet point

Lanayru never once mentions ANYTHING about misusing the power of the Master Sword, so that entire point is completely invalid. I literally have no idea what they’re talking about here. Lanayru does have the famous line, “Those who do not know the danger of wielding power will, before long, be ruled by it,” but that’s in reference to the Fused Shadows, not the Master Sword. Which, you know, you would know if you actually knew the source material as well as you claim to, dude.

Lastly, yes, I did like the manga when I first read it, but as I already stated, that was because I blasted through all four (available at the time) volumes in one sitting, and it was immediately after my hyperfixation for this game resurfaced (about a week or so before I made this blog!). I was Starved For Content, and the manga was Content. Now I’m not Starved, and two more volumes have released since, and guess what! People’s opinions can change! And my opinion is that the manga isn’t for me, and this entire, extremely accusatory essay of yours in the replies of a post I made stating my own opinion was entirely uncalled for and rather intrusive. So, yeah. Blocked.

This has certainly been a trip.

#not going to tag this because i'm not Like That but hoo man #the midzel comment is still destroying me #'how dare you not fetishize their relationship? homophobe 😒'#drama tag #again: you're allowed to like the manga!#but trying to argue i'm wrong for not liking it is super shitty!#i might delete this post later but I REALLY needed to get this outta my system #i don't like starting shit which is why i just blocked them #but oh man...#text #myposts*

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thisdiscontentedwinter · 5 years

Text

“I do see exclusion as an inherently bad thing, yes, and nothing will change my mind on that. Simply because women are not a monolith, and being born with a vagina does not mean we all share the same experiences of how being female relates to the world. I believe in intersectional feminism, and that transwomen are very much a part of that.” And this is the core thing, isn’t it. I actually held this same opinion until a couple of years ago. I started seeing a certain kind of rhetoric from trans activists online - some of whom, upon reflection, probably represent an extreme view that shouldn’t be taken too seriously - that had me doing double takes and started changing my mind. I’ll back up and try to explain how my mind changed and why I struggle with this topic. I agree with you that women are not a monolith and that women in general have different experiences. I also agree that being born with a vagina does not mean we all share the same experiences of how being female relates to the world, but I disagree with what that implies and how you’ve interpreted that - those different experiences are because of the different cultural takes on what that vagina means. The presence of the vagina is inherent and necessary. The fundamental principle of feminism that I grew up with is that the category of woman is given to people with the female reproductive system, and that category was seen and treated as inferior for no good reason in all cultures. What ‘woman’ actually is (gender roles, gender expectations, treatment by wider society etc ie “gender”) is culturally malleable and constructed and varies slightly from place to place; the universal consistency is that this category is placed upon people born with the female sex (distinct from gender) in order to control and oppress them. Like, it’s key to feminism that the sex provokes the ‘woman’ category, and females are socialised into the ‘woman’ role. The oppression women face isn’t due to a demonstrable lack of intelligence or capability or physiology, it’s because someone looked at our genitals as babies and went 'okay, this is what we call and how we treat people with this biology.’ So that’s my understanding. Women are historically oppressed due to abitrary negative stereotypes placed on them because of their biological sex. How that oppression manifests is different according to culture, geography, ethnicity, religion. Where intersectionality comes into it, for me, is acknowledging all those differences in experiences and including them in feminist progress in dismantling these stereotypes and the unequal treatment and discrimination resulting from them. (some) Trans women state that they are women because they essentially 'feel like it’. They claim an internal sense of 'womanhood’ and this means they are women. When I saw this I was like “:/ okaaay, but how do you measure that, what does that actually mean.” This internal sense seems to be explained in terms like “I preferred pink and playing with dolls as a child, and I always got along better with girls, I preferred doing girly things.” This is more of a call on gender stereotypes than a satisfactory explanation - identification with the performance of the arbitrary, cultural construction of gender, something which changes over time and with which many (cis) women do not identify (yet are still discriminated against - their feelings don’t matter to people who look at them and treat them differently). They have this idea of womanhood and identify with that. I know trans people say that cis people don’t understand that internal sense of 'manhood’ and 'womanhood’ because in them it’s all aligned with their sex - I disagree. If there’s this strong of an internal sense of being a woman or being a man, surely a reasonable proportion of all women and men would report experiencing it. Again, I’m falling prone to the anecdote thing, but in my case, I don’t 'feel’ like a woman. I’m a person in a meatsack who is treated unfairly because of stupid ideas about the meatsack that have nothing to do with my qualities as a person. My female and male friends report the same kind of feeling. If I woke up tomorrow in a male body, I’d probably miss some things about my female body, but I’d be able to go through life in a male body without too much concern. I would then be a man and not a woman, despite my previous few decades in a female body; the concept is a nothing concept so it doesn’t matter. I am open to the idea that people have an innate sense of womanhood or manhood, but it’s so subjective it’s not very useful as a key identification measure for a political group. This is a very different definition of 'woman’ and to me, it completely undermines the key principle underlying feminist discourse. What is also confusing to me is that the transgender community seems roughly split into two groups - those, like above, who *feel* aligned with the opposite sex; and those who say there is a physical miswiring somewhere that causes a mismatch between their internal sense of themselves and their sex, this is a medical condition called gender dysphoria, and the best treatment is transition. Ie you’re trans if you think you are, you’re a woman if you think you are, and you’re a man if you think you are, versus you are trans if you have gender dysphoria, you think you are a woman but biologically you’re a man and you can’t expect to be treated as a woman (or a man) until you physically transition, which will ease your dysphoria. These are two quite different experiences underpinning the definition of transgender. To me, all this confusion over what it even means to be transgender doesn’t represent a cohesive front or group to meaningfully discuss this stuff with. The big thing that got me criticising the issue of inclusion of trans woman is the above realisation, that that definition undermines the ideological foundation of feminism that has brought so much progress to women. It’s an ideological difference that’s fundamental. Other things that bolstered it was accompanying rhetoric I saw online. - eg it’s transphobic/exclusive to discuss things like uteruses (uteri?), menstruation, FGM in feminist spaces, if you do it, you’re a bigot. That doesn’t feel like progress to me, to tell women they can’t discuss the bodily stuff that is the basis of their oppression, and still is for girls and women around the world, in the context of their experiences as women and as people in the world. It feels like misogyny by another name. - eg it’s transphobic to have genital preferences. I think this is a horrible thing to say. Some people do not care what genitals are involved in the sex they’re having, that is fine. Some people do, and that is also fine. Dating and who you have sex with is inherently exclusionary - not everyone is attracted to every person in their identified pool - and it involves bodies, it involves hardwired preferences, and these things can’t be changed if you just think about it really really hard. 'Preferences’ is not a good word for the concept, it implies a choice that I don’t think is there. I really don’t think people choose what they’re attracted to and what turns them on in sex. Examining your sexual self to understand how you operate and what you like and don’t like is an excellent thing to do. I also agree that trans people find it hard to date people. But calling people transphobic - especially lesbians, this seems to happen more with lesbians and trans women than gay men and trans men - because of something innate is just shitty behaviour. I was really disgusted by this. No one is owed sex. - eg there are no real differences between trans women and cis women. Any differences noted in discourse are a result of the person stating them being transphobic. A person who says they’re a woman has female biology because of this statement. This is an attitude I see a lot - any criticism of things like the above, any reference to any differences between trans woman and cis women, and suddenly you’re a bigot, a terf, a transphobic asshole, wrongthink in action! This worries me. Because there ARE differences, and shouting them down is not the way to bring people to your way of thinking. - eg gender dysphoric children should be encouraged to transition or go on puberty blockers. There’s a study out there that states something like 70-90% of gender dysphoric children desist by the end of puberty. Telling them they’re trans and putting them on drugs is not the right way to treat these kids, sensitive and appropriate counselling is. This in particular really worries me. - eg detransitioners exist and have a lot to say, but because it’s critical of transgenderism, they’re ignored. This rubs me the wrong way - they have insight into the interplay between self-understanding, sex, gender and culture, that’s valuable to general understanding of the self, sex, gender, and culture. I could go on, but this is so long. So I was originally supportive - I really was. I’m now more critical, because I don’t see a clear cohesive movement that is, ironically, inclusive, or that supports feminist issues, I’m seeing something that aggressively undermines the one movement that has truly progressed women’s rights. It strikes me that women and feminists are arguing about this more than men are, that men aren’t saying 'trans men are men’ in the same way women are expected to say 'trans women are women’. That also says something to me about the overall issue, and it’s not a good thing. It’s entirely possible that I’m hanging out in the trans part of the internet that has the assholes in it. Every group has its assholes. I also acknowledge that radical feminist groups have their hateful assholes too - but the reason I went into radical feminist spaces was to see what those evil terfs are saying and why they’re so bad, and I didn’t find evil, I found them addressing the concerns I had. They’re talking about the above things, whereas in the supposedly inclusive spaces with trans people, those topics weren’t allowed to be discussed. But I haven’t seen many answers to some of the problems trans people face - violence and discrimination in employment and housing is a real thing, and that does need to be addressed. By feminists? I’m not sure. Trans people are more than capable of organising in their self-interests - if they could find a common ground and common interests. I do think trans women face violence in male spaces and can be accommodated in female spaces - within reason. The case of Karen White in the UK is a good example of how that’s not a good rule of thumb. There’s also a domestic violence shelter in Canada that’s being sued by the women who were in it for allowing a trans woman inside, because the trans women acted in a very predatory way that caused the women distress in a place where they expected safety. I also know of one trans woman in Vancouver who tried to have a rape crisis shelter defunded because it didn’t support sex workers - that’s a valid criticism, but defunding it isn’t the action I would hope to see from any woman; it’s pointedly aggressive coming from a trans woman. For me, I do wonder whether people such as yourself are seeing the same stuff I’m seeing. I guess not. I find it very difficult to go back to the whole 'oh yeah, trans women are women and share our oppression’ stance, because I just don’t see that in evidence. In our conversation I notice that we’ve got a really fundamental difference in how we interpret and approach the world, for example the exclusion thing. Perhaps it’s too fundamental a difference and we won’t find much to agree on. I don’t know if you’ll take the time to respond to this, because it’s so long, but if you could articulate why this inclusion makes sense to you, I would actually really appreciate it. If not, that’s fine, we’re both busy people. Thanks for reading anyway, and thanks again for the conversation and for engaging with me. I *am* sorry about the length :S

DW:

For me, it’s not a matter of “transwomen are women and share our oppression.”

It’s a matter of “transwomen are women and are oppressed because they are transwomen.”

Their oppression might not be exactly the same as mine, but neither is the oppression of a 12 year old child bride on the other side of the world.

Simply put, it intersectional feminism can make room for all the different types of experiences of women–cultural, and economic, and religious, and social, and geographical–then why not widen the umbrella to include transwomen?

There’s also a domestic violence shelter in Canada that’s being sued by the women who were in it for allowing a trans woman inside, because the trans women acted in a very predatory way that caused the women distress in a place where they expected safety. I also know of one trans woman in Vancouver who tried to have a rape crisis shelter defunded because it didn’t support sex workers - that’s a valid criticism, but defunding it isn’t the action I would hope to see from any woman; it’s pointedly aggressive coming from a trans woman.

There will always be anecdotes, and there will always be assholes, but judging all transwomen by the actions of a few is not helpful to anyone.

When it comes to women’s shelters, there are plenty of shelters who don’t allow boys to stay, forcing families out onto the streets in cases of domestic violence because a mother doesn’t want to be separated from her son–who is a child. I think that’s unfair and wrong, but I’m not going to claim from that that all feminists are anti-child.

I’ve taken calls from women’s shelters before where women were being threatened by other women and the workers were requesting the police. The women there also had an expectation of safety, but gender doesn’t come into it, and the implication that the transwoman was predatory because she is trans is drawing a very long bow.

In the case of the Vancouver rape crisis shelter, why aren’t sex workers supported? That seems discriminatory. Also, why it is more “pointedly aggressive” coming from a transwoman than from anyone else? Given that transwomen are over-represented in sex work, why wouldn’t a transwoman have every right to want to fight this?

And you can bring up Karen White if you like. And I can counter with articles about transwomen who have been raped in male prisons, which I hope you would agree is just as heinous.

In the end, nothing is going to change my mind on this. I think that being a woman is more complicated than a biological function, and I think that transwomen, while not oppressed in the same way as ciswoman, still face oppression because of their gender. And I think that there is plenty of room to be inclusive.

#t #submission

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llantano · 4 years

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Turning Leaves, 12. No More Babies

Their meeting had gone better than expected and Dorian was chipper. They had stayed on topic, fielding questions about the economy and job security, and Dorian was so relieved that there were still constituents who were concerned more with her professional plans than her sexual orientation.

The sky had darkened and the temperature had fallen when Amelia walked her to the door that evening with her planner in one hand and her laptop bag in the other. They'd dropped David off for "first dinner" at The Palace. The stillness in the air was broken when they walked into the foyer. "Langston!" Dorian called out. "I'm home!"

Amelia smiled to herself. Dorian always made an entrance.

Dorian slid her coat off and Amelia took it to the closet as Starr rushed down the stairs. She stopped when she reached the landing, standing in front of the campaign poster that now covered the painting on the wall. "Aunt Dorian, please don't shout. I just got Hope to sleep!"

Dorian balled her fist and pressed it to her forehead. "I'm sorry, honey," she apologized, looking up at Starr with sincerity. "I keep forgetting."

Starr slumped her shoulders, exasperated. "Old habits die hard, I guess." She relented to her aunt's apologetic gaze. "It's alright. She's probably getting used to sleeping through all the shouting around here anyway."

Dorian smiled at Starr as she pulled her gloves off. "Starr…." She looked around the room. "Is Langston still home?"

"Oh. She left about a half-hour ago, but she put her article in the other room." Starr gestured toward the door to the sitting room. "It's really good," she encouraged before disappearing back upstairs.

Dorian nodded and waited until Starr was gone before tossing her gloves onto the table and rushing into the other room to find Langston's work.

Amelia followed and draped her own coat over her arm as she propped her bag against the back of the couch. "Dorian… I want to apologize to you."

Dorian paused just long enough to ask, "For what?" before continuing.

Amelia wondered if Dorian had forgotten their exchange the night before. "It's just that I shouldn't have questioned you like I did yesterday after John McBain was here. It wasn't my place."

Dorian was distracted. "Already forgotten."

Amelia watched Dorian. "Do you mind if I stay and read through it, too?"

Dorian welcomed the opportunity to showcase Langston's writing talent. "Of course not – please do!"

The campaign materials that had littered the room before were cleared away, and Langston's article was bound in a purple folder with a pastel pink sticky note attached to the front of it. "Sorry I missed you," the note read. "Hope the meeting went well. Let me know if this needs to say more – or if I said too much." The note was signed with a large cursive "L" and a heart shape.

Dorian ran her thumb over the "L" before she flipped the folder open and read to herself. She stood in the middle of the floor as she poured over the editorial, so anxious to read it that she didn't take time to sit down.

Amelia stood nearby and smiled as she tried to interpret the expressions on Dorian's face. From what she could tell, Langston had written something that Dorian not only approved of, but also was touched by.

Dorian pursed her lips and released a long exhale as she paused to look up at the corner of the ceiling for a moment. When tears came to her eyes, she pretended to pace so that she could turn her back to Amelia and continue to read.

Amelia furrowed her brows in momentary concern. If Dorian had a weakness in this election, it was her girls, and Amelia knew it. The "Cramer women" were Dorian's soft spot, and the biggest threat to Dorian following through on her commitment to their upcoming gay nuptials. David was not much of a threat, as long as Dorian was on board. Amelia figured that between her own dedication and Dorian's pandering to his whims, David wouldn't be that hard to keep in check.

Still, it was heart-warming to see the secret, gentle side of Dorian. Amelia knew Dorian had turned her back on purpose so she took the hint and pulled out her laptop. She placed it on the small desk near the doors and acted as though she wasn't paying attention to Dorian.

"It sounds cliché, but words like concerned, compassionate, giving, genuine and aware are all words that describe mayoral candidate and my mother, Dorian Cramer Lord.

To many citizens of Llanview, Doctor Lord's reputation precedes her. Gossip about her past, personal life, recent political alliances, and her liberal stance on a number of relevant issues seem to be distractions.

However, long-time citizens of Llanview are also aware of the many services she has sponsored and volunteered her time to throughout the years - serving as both a doctor and the chief of staff at the hospital, playing a key role in prison reform, sponsoring various art exhibits, organizing civic functions to raise money for good causes, and representing our town and our nation as an Ambassador. She also supports the local economy through various business endeavors, and is a strong advocate for responsible family planning - supporting a woman's right to choose for herself what is best for her own well-being, as well as accepting that a strong family and a good home can define many different - even unconventional - groups of people.

What most people do not know is that Dorian Lord, despite her active involvement in her community, is an avid and passionate supporter of her own family, in every circumstance. Throughout her life, she helped care for her sisters and her nieces as well as rearing her own three daughters - including me.

As with any normal family, we have our disagreements, but I can honestly say that Dorian always has the best interests of those she loves at heart. Some might even say Dorian Lord is overzealous and overprotective when it comes to her family, but her youngest daughter could not be more grateful for those characteristics.

When I lost my parents, I was alone in the world and unable to deal with my grief. I didn't want to be alone, but at the same time, I didn't want anyone to know how alone I was. I knew that in order to survive, I had to be strong. I had to stand up, and I had to hide.

For a long time, I stood up, all by myself. Then the Cramer women - Dorian's family - found me. They taught me that I didn't have to be alone anymore, and when family services was about to remove me from my home, the town I grew up in, my school, and my friends, my best friend's Aunt Dorian learned of my situation and she stepped in without hesitation. After she brought me into this family, Dorian taught me that I could be strong, but still trust in other people who cared about me.

Simply adopting me to prevent an unpleasant circumstance was not Dorian's intention. As she has with all of "her girls," Dorian Cramer Lord opened her home and her heart, loving me with a devotion and passion that could only be rivaled by that of my own (biological) mother.

She is the core and the strength of our family. We depend on her and we take a piece of her strength with us every day. I absolutely cannot imagine myself with any other family, and I couldn't ask for a better mother.

I truly believe that, as with her family, Dorian Cramer Lord has continuously displayed her concern for, devotion to, and interest in the community of Llanview - a place she and her family have called home for many years.

Her stance on equality is no different, but that cause alone is not what defines her. What defines her is her strength and devotion to what is most important, and I can personally assure you that she has her priorities straight.

What can you say about a woman who will step in and take care of a person before they even realize they need help? How do you describe a person who goes to extreme lengths to protect the people and causes she loves? How do you characterize a woman who wants equal justice for all? What do you do to convey her relentless and generous devotion to her family, friends, and neighbors?

Are those not the qualities that this town needs to nurture it back from its reputation of corruption and the scars it garnered under recent leadership? I am here, as a person who knows Dorian Cramer Lord better than most, to tell you with complete sincerity that she deserves your vote for Llanview's next mayor."

Dorian took a deep breath and let it out as she admired the paper. Perhaps Langston had overused the word "family," but the piece was loving and very personal, and Dorian appreciated the comparison of Langston's situation with the state of the town. It filled her heart and bolstered her courage, though she could not help but wish that her Pulitzer Prize winning husband were there to read it, too – for many reasons.

A few moments after Dorian seemed to be finished reading, Amelia inquired, "Is it good?"

Dorian bit her lip as she smiled and nodded, and dabbed the corner of her eye before turning back around with a confident air. "She said I was as devoted and passionate as her biological mother," she gestured at the paper, "and that she couldn't imagine being in any other family than mine." Dorian grinned at Amelia.

Amelia returned a smile and nodded, allowing Dorian to keep the true depth of her emotions about Langston tucked away. She changed the subject. "The proofs are online if you want to check them out." She offered Dorian the use of her laptop in exchange for the purple folder.

Dorian sat down at the desk, proud and graceful, and gazed at the computer screen. She scrolled with the up and down arrows on the keyboard.

Amelia slipped to the back corner of the room to read Langston's article. She didn't expect to be as impressed with it as Dorian had been.

Dorian felt a tinge of headache at her temple and squinted as she repositioned the angle of the computer screen. She took a deep breath as she scrolled down the page of pictures, which all had neat, strategic watermarks.

She adored the second pose, in which she and Langston looked like honest-to-goodness family, with their dark eyes and hair and hands folded on top of each other. It looked traditional, even Victorian. Langston's light curls fell over her shoulder, capturing the hint of innocence and youth that still lingered in the sophisticated young lady.

There were several pictures that were similar, including one where she had taken Langston's hand and they had smiled at each other. When Dorian saw that shot, she was sure she wanted to order it and managed to use the track pad to check the box next to the picture.

She looked around at Amelia, who was leaning on the back of a chair and appeared to be in deep contemplation as she read Langston's article. She took a moment to inspect Amelia's expression, and decided it was one of interest.

Amelia was not just interested in Langston's words, but enthralled by them as she sat down to absorb what she was reading.

Being a part of Dorian's family had fulfilled the same need in Langston that being an active part of the LGLA had fulfilled in Amelia. She snuck a glance at Dorian out of the corner of her eye. If Dorian could be that person to a young girl in need of a family, she could sure as hell be an icon to people fighting for equal rights.

Without anyone even realizing it, Amelia had just bonded with Dorian. She nodded and raised her eyebrows, inspired and motivated in a way she hadn't been before.

The campaign was no longer just about helping Dorian win an election so that Amelia and the LGLA could use their candidate for their cause. She understood now that Dorian would stand up for them as long as they had her back.

It wasn't a chess game. It was a real, heart-felt, passionate fight for equality – as long as Dorian agreed. And if Amelia hadn't been convinced that Dorian was the right person for the job before, she sure was now.

Dorian was busy inspecting the next couple of pictures – the ones in which she and Langston were hugging. They were almost identical, except that in the second picture, her own eyes were closed.

Her brows furrowed and she tilted her head as she realized that she had lifted her heel to lean on her tiptoes and that Langston had bent her knees just enough to compensate for a difference in height that had been caused by the taller heels in Langston's shoes.

She frowned. The photographer should have caught that. She decided that he had seen it after the fact, since there was a cropped version of the picture that showed them from the back up.

She scrutinized the picture. It appeared that they had hugged each other with open palms that were settled on each other's backs. One of Dorian's hands had strayed upward to caress the back of Langston's head. Langston's head was turned and tilted toward Dorian's arm just enough that both of their faces were visible.

Dorian's was more of a profile – her eyes closed as if in grateful prayer or silent love as she relished the moment in her daughter's arms. Langston was smiling and looking up as if in love or inspired, happy to be receiving Dorian's embrace.

It was absolutely beautiful – a perfect moment. It took Dorian's breath away. She stared at it for a while, keeping diligent control of her emotions, in awe, until she noticed Amelia standing over her, observing.

Startled, Dorian offered her first thought. "I want this picture on billboards." She meant for it to come out as a strong statement, but her voice was quiet.

Amelia grinned and nodded as she leaned over the desk beside Dorian and moved the cursor with one hand on the track pad. She checked the selection box next to the picture and gave Dorian a concerned look when the woman sighed. "Hey, are you okay?"

Dorian nodded and smiled. "Oh, I'm fine," she offered. "A little tired. What did you think of Langston's article?"

Amelia laid the folder down next to Dorian and took her laptop to the couch. "It's great," she emphasized without elaborating on the details. "I want to sit down with her sometime tomorrow and have her stress some of the good points she made … if that's okay?"

Dorian nodded. "Why not tonight?"

Amelia looked around. She was sure that whatever movie Langston and Markko had gone to see couldn't be over yet. "When do you expect her home?"

"Oh." Dorian sighed as she held her arm out and her head back to check her watch. It wasn't even nine yet. "Well … she has been staying out all hours as of late." She scowled with disdain. "Ever since Markko and Cole got that apartment." She stared at the phone but reminded herself that Langston was a responsible young lady.

Amelia traced Dorian's gaze to the nearby phone. "Are you sure you're alright?" she asked again. "You seem a bit … on edge? You're not worried about the press, are you?"

Dorian jerked her head toward Amelia. That thought hadn't even occurred to her. She rubbed her forehead and then sighed, gesturing at the laptop Amelia held. "Langston is all grown up."

Amelia wondered, looking between the computer and Dorian's wistful expression. The wheels in her mind turned as she contemplated her new understanding of Dorian's family, and the fact that Langston and Starr were the same age. She hesitated before making the suggestion that popped into her mind. "Did you ever think about adopting another child?"

Dorian was taken aback by Amelia's suggestion. Her initial response was, "Of course not. I love my girls … my family … and the last thing we need…." She let her mind catch up before she finished her sentence. She did not want to imply that having a baby in the house was a burden. She also considered the reasons that Amelia would make such a suggestion.

Amelia lifted her brows, noting Dorian's thoughts. "You do love children. I know adoption and foster care are of concern, and it would be a good way to pull attention away from this whole marriage thing."

Dorian stood and crossed the floor to look out at the darkened terrace as she spoke. Her voice was terse. "Not to mention – yes, detracting attention from our gay marriage, but putting the focus right back on gay families and parental rights." She shot an accusing glance over her shoulder at Amelia.

"It would be putting the focus on family values. Your very strong family values," Amelia tried to convince Dorian, pointing at Langston's editorial.

Dorian slapped the top of the nearby bureau, rattling the number of small, framed pictures and vases on it. "Amelia, you're forgetting, aren't you … that we – you and I," she gestured between them, " – are lesbians together…?" She shook her head and threw her hands in the air, exasperated.

"Oh, that's right," Amelia argued with sarcasm, nodding her head at Dorian dramatically. "Right … we're lesbians … so even if we wanted to adopt a child together…."

"Oh, cut the crap, Amelia," Dorian interrupted, scolding. "Face the facts. No matter what I do – no matter how well intentioned – at this point, it is all going to be seen as one big, fat, gay political agenda! And that part ...is not-my-fault." She ran the last three words together, emphasizing them with a finger in the air.

Amelia stood and took a step toward Dorian, turning her chin as she eyed her. "How does that feel to you?" she asked. "To know that just because people see you as a lesbian, everything you do is defined by that?"

Dorian gave in and looked down at her fingernails. "Point made." She swallowed. "But." She lifted her finger back into the air as she looked up at Amelia again. "If I ever adopted again, it would be out of love – not for any agenda or election." She paused in thought. "Besides, it would be a far better strategy to adopt right before my second term, and use it to get re-elected."

Amelia grinned, very amused. "Yep," she nodded in agreement.

Dorian frowned again, frustrated and annoyed at herself for entertaining the thought. "I have a headache. I wonder if we still have those Belgian chocolates I ordered." She reminded herself not to shout as she headed for the kitchen.

Dorian could drive a person crazy, but it was endearing when it wasn't infuriating.

Amelia massaged her own forehead in thought as she turned to place the order for the photographs. She was still working on sending the order when she heard a buzzing noise coming from the foyer.

A quick investigation proved that Dorian had left her cell phone on silent mode. Before Amelia could decide whether to take the phone to the kitchen, she noticed the name on the screen.

Curious, she looked around the room and waited for the voice mail icon to appear. She moved to the far side of the stairs and tucked herself in the corner as she tried the V-pattern she had seen Dorian punch in a few times, starting with two ones.

It took a few tries to crack the code – one one zero six.

There was a long pause on the recording, as if the call had been accidental, but after several seconds a deep voice with an impatient Latin accent broke through the silence. "Dorian, I need you. You have to pick up the phone sometime. Please return my call."

Amelia's eyes widened. His request sounded more like a demand. Her mind raced in slight panic. Dorian's insistence on dodging the subject of Ray Montez was rooted in her actual avoidance of any contact with him. It seemed there was much more to it than a simple parting of the ways.

A sinking feeling in Amelia's gut told her that Ray's attempt to reach Dorian did not bode well for their campaign – or future marriage. The world slowed around her as she scrambled to delete Ray's message and the record of his call before anyone saw her with Dorian's phone. She felt justified in the fact that Dorian was already evading the man.

She gasped a sigh of relief as she placed the cell phone in the exact place on the table where she had found it and returned to her laptop to finish the order she was placing.

She wondered if she could broach the subject of Ray Montez before the night ended. She had to wonder about the terms of his departure, and she was more uneasy about Dorian's reluctance to discuss him … among other things … than ever.

#OLTL #One Life to Live #Turning Leaves #A/U #fanfic #Dorian Lord #Amelia Bennett #Langston Wilde #Starr Manning #Ray Montez #Election Storyline

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