#i feel like there's a lot of trivialization of fantasy of a genre and escapism in general woven into this as well

[gffa]

I have often given Qui-Gon Jinn a hard time because he’s so often used in STAR WARS fandom as a weapon to beat on other characters I love and it makes it difficult to like him, as well as it overshadows who the character himself is. So, to help balance that out some, I wanted to do a set of recs to remind myself–and just share some happiness in!–that I actually do very much like Qui-Gon! He’s a good person who really loved the people around him, he cared very deeply, he had an amazing friendship with Yoda (seriously, that Yoda’s the one he reaches out to when he becomes a Force Ghost, that even after death, Qui-Gon loves his Jedi family, it gives me feelings in my feelings place every single time), and one of my favorite things about Master & Apprentice is that I often got the impression that he knew he was kind of obnoxious sometimes, but he was at peace with it, he was fine with that. That was a straight shot to my heart, I love that dude! So, here have some fics that celebrate that Qui-Gon is actually a really great character. He may not always be the central character, but I remember him being well portrayed in these and they gave me good Qui-Gon feelings! STAR WARS - QUI-GON JINN FIC RECS: ✦ Reprise by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & dooku & mace & cast, time travel, 491.1k wip    Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder. Major AU. ✦ The Way Back Home by Anakinstopyourpanakin, happygiraffe, obi-wan & qui-gon & bant & tahl, 39.5k wip    He had been missing for nearly four years. How could Obi-Wan be alive? It was too good to be true, and simultaneously too horrifying. What had been done to the innocent child who was currently falling asleep against his shoulder, and did his wounds run too deep for Qui-Gon to mend? ✦ When the world gets too heavy put it on my back by nematoda, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, 29.8k    Obi-Wan is different when it comes to relationships. Not in a bad way, just… different. Studies of platonic love in the life of Obi-Wan Kenobi, exploring the master/padawan relationship with Qui-Gon and eventually with Anakin. ✦ Shadows of the Future by stormqueen873, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast, 129.3k    ObiWan lost the duel on Mustafar, but instead of dying, he finds himself on a ship leaving Tatooine, with his old Master and a familiar young boy. As events begin to unfold, can he stop the future he knows from occuring? ✦ No Galaxy for Good Jedi by Annie_Walker, obi-wan & anakin & padme & qui-gon & dooku & yoda & cast, some obi-wan/satine, sith!qui-gon, 124.8k wip    Obi-Wan Kenobi was only a young padawan when he ran away with three-year old Anakin. He had no choice after his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, fell to the Dark Side by Master Dooku’s manipulations. ✦ Masters and Padawans: Three Generations by GirlwithCurls98, qui-gon & obi-wan + obi-wan & anakin + anakin & ahsoka, 24.6k    Three generations of incredible bonds. ✦ What Is My Heritage? by Marnie, qui-gon & yoda, 7.7k    Qui-Gon, age 13, tries to find a place to belong. ✦ Coming Home by Marnie, qui-gon & yoda & dooku, 18.1k    A story telling how Qui-Gon comes to be Dooku’s apprentice. ✦ Trust Me by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 2k    A certain Jedi Master is less than pleased about being laid up with the flu. ✦ Triviality and QuiGon by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 4.1k    The Council’s infinite cruelty gives Dooku the most brutal of punishments: quality time with the Padawan and his plantlife! ✦ Rainy by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 26.8k wip    A seemingly easy mission goes horribly wrong for Padawan Qui and Master Dooku as they struggle to battle an insane adversary, poisons and curses, and an awful lot of rain. ✦ The Luckiest Man Alive + Letting Go by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku & yoda, 7.9k    Yoda, Dooku, and a twenty four year old QuiGon go to the small planet of Omartia to pick up a forcesensitive infant. + Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan go to pick up a Force-sensitive child. On the way back, Qui-Gon is faced with the fact that someday very soon, he will have to let Obi-Wan go. ✦ Lineage by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & xanatos & cast, 35.9k    AU!Jedi Apprentice. Book I: In which master and apprentice meet for the first time, enjoy a disastrous adventure courtesy of Xanatos DuCrion, and reap the fruits of patience and fortitude. A fanciful retelling of the original. ✦ Lineage II by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 40.9k    A year or so has elapsed since the last time we saw our heroes. BOOK 2: In which master and apprentice investigate an evil brainwashing plot, attend a boisterous wedding, and battle the enemy within. ✦ Lineage III by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku & xanatos & bant & cast, 49.4k    AU!Jedi Apprentice. Book III: Master and apprentice face an important rite of passage, grapple with a traitorous plot within the Temple’s walls, and discover the limits of obedience and intuition. Appearances by Bant Eerin, Xanatos DuCrion, Yan Dooku, and others. ✦ Lineage IV by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & siri & adi gallia, 39.3k    Master and apprentice endure a stint with the Agri-Corps, and find that trouble has a way of coming home to haunt them. Featuring a pile of bantha poodoo, a tentacled carnivorous plant, a desperate escaped convict, and a highly provocative young woman. ✦ Lineage V by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & tahl (& some qui-gon/tahl) & dooku & cast, 50.7k    An evil scientist wreaks havoc when she captures Jedi Knight Tahl Uvain for purposes of obscure research; Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan rush to the rescue, only to be embroiled in further trouble; and Master Dooku joins in the hunt with characteristic aplomb. ✦ Lineage VI by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 66.2k    Master and apprentice undertake a risky undercover mission to expose conspiracy in a far-flung sector; a comedy of manners abruptly transforms into a nightmare when their cover is blown; and a desperate escape gambit strikes deep at the foundations of trust. ✦ Lineage VII by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & siri & adi gallia & some obi-wan/siri, 74.5k    Sent to the aid of their fellow Jedi on a disastrous mission to New Apsolon, master and apprentice contend with brainwashing, genocide, conspiracy, and the perilous realm of the heart. ✦ Lineage VIII by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 83.4k    Hard on the heels of the mission to Apsolon, master and apprentice find new troubles - in their own backyard. Jenna Zan Arbor faces prosecution for her crimes; the Jedi grapple with the disastrous realities of corruption and personal loss; Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon undertake perilous and disparate quests. ✦ Lineage IX by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku & cast, 61k    A year after parting ways, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon struggle to complete their self-appointed quests for enlightenment and justice. ✦ Lineage X by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku, 49.2k    The war-ravaged world Melida-Daan is backdrop to a manhunt, an occult conspiracy, a bitter guerilla conflict, and a test of ultimate loyalties. ✦ Lineage XI by ruth baulding, obi-qan & qui-gon & cast, 56k    The disastrous situation on Melida-Daan takes a turn for the worse; the Jedi dispatch a team to capture a dangerous murderer; and Qui-Gon Jinn and his former apprentice face the consequences of their rebellion. Series finale. ✦ Snakefic by esama, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & yoda & cast, 6k    It was only the matter of time before the egg hatched. ✦ Strokes of Colored Grey by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon, 9.5k    ObiWan has been drawing since he was a small youngling, but only a few people know, including his teacher, Vianro Dleka, and the elderly, trustworthy archivist, KinWan Terius. But what happens when his master discovers his secret? ✦ Pies, Books, and Swords, obi-wan & qui-gon/tahl, 1.2k    Qui-Gon Jinn has made quite a good name for himself, as far as holonet cooking shows go. ✦ They Are by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 1.7k    This is their moment, their eternity. They think its going to be like this forever. ✦ Strongest Stars by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & chirrut & cast, 2.6k    The Force works in mysterious ways. A few quiet moments in the dark create a touchstone spanning across three generations, two orthodoxies, a war, time, space, and the galaxy. A maverick meets a visionary and listens for a song. Spoilers for Rogue One, sort of? ✦ Anecdotally by Elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 14.6k    The biggest stories are always made up of smaller ones. Here are some of the forgotten moments in the life of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Will feature a wide variety of genres, characters, eras, and AUs. Oneshots from whenever inspiration strikes. ✦ the floor under our feet by FoxGlade, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & dooku + background pairings, 4.5k wip    or, the adventures and exploits of Qui-Gon’s three adopted children. ✦ A Long, Long Time Ago by ruth baulding, dooku & qui-gon + qui-gon & obi-wan + obi-wan & anakin + anakin & ahsoka, 5.8k    A wisdom tale handed passed down through the generations poses troublesome questions for a line of masters and Padawans, from Dooku to Ahsoka Tano. ✦ Family by lilyconrad, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & darth maul & cast, sith!obi-wan, 6.8k    Seven years after the duel on Naboo, Obi-Wan Kenobi has turned to the dark, Maul has turned to the light, and young Anakin is caught somewhere in-between. Can Qui-Gon rescue his Padawan before it’s too late? ✦ Fountain of Force by esama, qui-gon & cast, final fantasy 7 crossover, 8.9k    In which Qui-Gon Jinn comes from Gaia. ✦ Midwinter Sun by orphan_account, dooku & qui-gon, 4.2k    Padawan Jinn is a rebel and Dooku is very much not ready. ✦ Jedi In Winter by bluedragoninamber, obi-wan & qui-gon & dooku & yoda, 12.3k    In which Yan Dooku understands regret and tries to make things right. Something new will be born from the ashes of the old but exactly what remains to be seen. ✦ A New History by Annie Walker, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & dooku & cast, time travel, 533.4k wip    During a heated battle, Dooku escaped into the past! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker follow to stop him, but discover that Dooku went to the past where Obi-Wan is a young padawan to a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, the two must go undercover to stop Dooku’s plans from coming to fruition in order to save not only the future, but also young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. ✦ In the Heart of the Force by ReneeoftheStars, ahsoka & qui-gon, 1.7k    Ahsoka Tano travels back to the world between world’s. Searching for answers, she comes across a past event that only makes her question the past even more. ✦ Stitches and Time by ladyarcherfan3, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & ocs, 4k    Alara Nel is a seamstress who keeps getting an unusually large number of orders for Jedi robes from an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Over the years, she learns why and gets to know the Jedi a little bit better. ✦ The Uses of a Sandwich by Laura Kaye (laurakaye), obi-wan & qui-gon & oc & cast, 17.6k    A few months after being taken as a Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi faces a challenge: meeting his Master’s first apprentice. ✦ untitled by elfpen, obi-wan & qui-gon, 3.1k    Anonymous asked: if you’re still accepting prompts: smol padawan obi-wan letting slip his law abiding exterior and letting loose the terrifying intensity beneath it. preferably in defense of qui-gon or something. ✦ The will of the Force by Lysore, obi-wan & yoda & qui-gon, 2.7k    Obi-Wan piqued Yoda’s interest early on, except the Grand Master of the Order had known for just as long that the Initiate was destined to be Qui-Gon Jinn’s Padawan. ✦ I thought I fought this war alone by stonefreeak, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 3.7k    Obi-Wan is thirteen years old, just about to start learning Ataru from his Master. Obi-Wan is sixty-one years old, dead and one with the Force since four years back. Obi-Wan is both, and neither. ✦ The First Trial by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon, 2k    Accompanied by his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, young Obi-Wan Kenobi undergoes his first trial and rite as a Padawan Learner on the frozen planet of Ilum. ✦ Hearts Entwined by KeeperofSeeds, obi-wan & shmi & qui-gon, time travel, 6.5k wip    stolen moments between Padawan Kenobi and Shmi Skywalker, glimpsed by Qui Gon Jinn, and his continued attempts to understand both this strange new addition to the Temple and the unexplained relationship between the pair ✦ The Orchards by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 3.6k    When young Obi-Wan Kenobi is injured on a previous mission, Qui-Gon Jinn refuses to accept further off-planet missions until his Padawan’s recovery. Yoda assigns the pair an in-Temple mission of utmost importance while Obi-Wan heals. Master and Padawan welcome the change of pace. ✦ The Path of Totality by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & yoda & qui-gon & cast, 1.8k    Before going their separate ways into exile, Obi-Wan Kenobi shares with Yoda a lesson of wisdom he’d learned from his late Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. A lesson of darkness, light, and hope. ✦ Finding Balance by Raven_Knight, qui-gon & dooku & jocasta, 1.4k    Eleven-year-old Padawan Jinn is left behind while his Master goes on a mission off-planet. Qui-Gon is left in the care of Jocasta Nu, and he’s not exactly enthusiastic about it. ✦ Warmth by Tomatosoupful, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & xanatos & tahl & shmi & cast, child endangerment, time travel, 59.8k wip    Time Travel AU. Anakin has woken up in the past. Time to say hello to past friends, right? Only problem, Anakin is a walking talking human disaster and makes a lot of stupid decisions. Stealing a Jedi baby from the temple certainly isn’t the smartest thing he’s done. ✦ Abducted by devilinthedetails, obi-wan & qui-gon, 1.6k    In trying to rescue the kidnapped daughter of a planetary leader, Qui-Gon finds himself abducted and in need of Obi-Wan’s rescue. ✦ Trust Fall by devilinthedetails, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, 1.4k    Two generations of Masters and Padawans. Two generations of trust falls. ✦ Something Borrowed, Something New by Raven_Knight, qui-gon & dooku/jocasta, 1.6k    Qui-Gon Jinn had only been claimed as Knight Dooku’s Padawan for three weeks before he’d managed to get himself into trouble with his Master. ✦ In Memoriam by ruth baulding, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & evan piell, 6.4k    In the midst of a desperate escape from the Citadel, Obi Wan mourns a friendship. A tribute to Jedi Master Evan Piell. ✦ One Day by ruth baulding, obi-wan & qui-gon & mace & shmi & bail/breha & palpatine, 9.9k    A single moment in time, on five different planets. A birth, an election, a discovery, a marriage, and a mission. Because all things are mysteriously united in the Force. ✦ They Are by Charmisjess, dooku & qui-gon, 1.7k    This is their moment, their eternity. They think its going to be like this forever. ✦ The Exchange by MissLearn, obi-wan & anakin & some anakin/padme & ahsoka & qui-gon & rex & cast, time travel, 77k wip    ROTS Obi-Wan and Anakin are swapped with their younger, TPM, selves. It changes things, in both parallels. ✦ Family by lilyconrad, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & darth maul & cast, sith!obi-wan, 6.8k    Seven years after the duel on Naboo, Obi-Wan Kenobi has turned to the dark, Maul has turned to the light, and young Anakin is caught somewhere in-between. Can Qui-Gon rescue his Padawan before it’s too late? ✦ Fountain of Force by esama, qui-gon & cast, final fantasy 7 crossover, 8.9k    In which Qui-Gon Jinn comes from Gaia. ✦ Rewrought by esama, obi-wan & qui-gon & maul, time travel, 4.4k    Bit o time travel ✦ Lion Jinn by esama, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast, 5.7k wip    Qui-Gon Jinn reincarnates as a lion. ✦ Brothers (working title) by Charity_Angel, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & padme & shmi & yoda & cast, 17.3k wip    In which Qui-Gon has a very near miss on Naboo, Obi-Wan is very stubborn, and they end up breaking a lot of rules accidentally as a result. All because of that kid they picked up on Tatooine. ✦ untitled by legobiwan, yoda & dooku & qui-gon, 1.5k    Yan Dooku was getting too old for this type of thing. He had rushed into the healer’s ward, Qui-gon’s limp body in his arms. That in itself had been a feat, as the boy’s gangly limbs were everywhere, but somehow the older Jedi Master had been able to deposit his wayward Padawan on a bed before an errant arm took his nose off. ✦ Drifting Starlight by Pandora151, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 60.3k    Just before the fateful Battle of Naboo, Qui-Gon Jinn is brought to the future, to the Clone Wars. He doesn’t know why or how, but he knows one thing for sure: He never, in a million years, expected the galaxy to end up like this. ✦ Although He Smiles by AutumnChild22, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & padme & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 86.9k wip    She’d counted the 750 steps down from the Temple. She’d said her goodbyes, and left Master Anakin standing below the great pillars. What more could the Force want from her? ‘Everything’ sums it up nicely. Waking 13 years in the past, Ahsoka faces a harsh reality. As events begin to unfold, she faces a ticking clock that times a galaxy’s end. ✦ A New History by Annie Walker, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & dooku & cast, time travel, 533.4k wip    During a heated battle, Dooku escaped into the past! Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker follow to stop him, but discover that Dooku went to the past where Obi-Wan is a young padawan to a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, the two must go undercover to stop Dooku’s plans from coming to fruition in order to save not only the future, but also young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. ✦ The First Trial by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon, 2k    Accompanied by his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, young Obi-Wan Kenobi undergoes his first trial and rite as a Padawan Learner on the frozen planet of Ilum. ✦ Hearts Entwined by KeeperofSeeds, obi-wan & shmi & qui-gon, time travel, 6.5k wip    stolen moments between Padawan Kenobi and Shmi Skywalker, glimpsed by Qui Gon Jinn, and his continued attempts to understand both this strange new addition to the Temple and the unexplained relationship between the pair ✦ Highly Dissatisfied by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon, 1.1k    Obi-Wan enters the quarters he shares with his Master, intending to ask for help in preparation for his exams. Qui-Gon, however, is dealing with a far more urgent matter. ✦ playing yourself like a red three by EclipseMidnight (EternalEclipse), obi-wan & xanatos & qui-gon, 7.7k    As usual, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s mission has gone spectacularly sideways, this time before they even reach the planet they are meant to be helping. Luckily for them, they get some help from an unexpected source. ✦ so far the suns by blackkat, mace & qui-gon, 1.3k    “My old friend,” Qui-Gon tells Mace, quiet, and his presence comes closer. “I fear I made several mistakes in the past weeks, and I would ask you to correct them for me.” ✦ The Cry by batsojopo, obi-wan & qui-gon & xanatos & ocs & cast, 4.2k    This is my version of how Obi-Wan Kenobi arrived at the Jedi Temple. ✦ kybersong by Shadaras, obi-wan & qui-gon, 1.6k    Obi-Wan Kenobi goes in search of his lightsaber’s crystal heart. ✦ What Have We Become by Batsutousai, feemor & qui-gon & obi-wan & anakin & cast, time travel, 43.7k    One of Feemor’s greatest regrets, was that he never had the chance to get to know his brother-padawan, but the Force is willing to give him one more chance. And maybe, if he’s lucky, he can finally make amends with his former master and save them all in the process. ✦ We Start and End With Family by Batsutousai, feemor & qui-gon & obi-wan & yoda & cast, time travel, 8.8k    Qui-Gon had been mostly joking when he’d originally brought up the idea of a lineage dinner, but when his former padawan grabbed for the idea with both hands and a desperation Qui-Gon didn’t understand (and privately hoped he never would), he knew he would never be able to refuse. ✦ turning dust right into gold by blackkat, mace/qui-gon & depa & cast, 1.3k    Mace knows Depa too well. She’s absolutely going to do something terrible, particularly for Mace’s dignity. ✦ A Price to Be Paid by Peach_Bitters (Starf), qui-gon & dooku & cast, 3.1k    Young Qui-Gon learns there’s a price to be paid for his curiosity. ✦ For the Future of the Order by thetorontokid, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, 3.9k    There are important lessons to be found in the Jedi Temple crèche.

#qui gon jinn #obi wan kenobi #dooku #yoda #mace windu #xanatos du crion #fic recs #star wars fic recs #long post #really long post

[lyrical-cynical]

so the person who posted this blocked me, then proceeded to make sure none of my stuff I added would show up on their post, along with silencing others who spoke up or out against this mentality. So I’m just gonna do a real quick reverse uno and make my own post. I blocked out their name because the point of this is not to witch hunt this person, but to make a point about this mentality. Here’s what I reblogged with: 

It’s not about them being demons, It’s not about the fact that these characters are “morally grey,” it’s about the trivialization of a very scary, and real situation that has happened to countless people and treating it like a simple plot point.

So I put this on a reply to another post, but I’ll also put it here. In one study conducted by alcohol.org found that out of 900 people surveyed (both men and women) 44% of men and 56% of women have consumed something that had been spiked without them knowing. of those two groups, 37% have experienced it multiple times. Men are more likely to be spiked by someone they consider a friend, while women are more likely to be spiked by a stranger, with house parties accounting for a majority of the locations. What’s more, 58% of men and 65% of women don’t believe they can confidently convict the person who spiked them, with 52% of men and 62% of women NOT REPORTING THE PERSON WHO SPIKED THEM, with only 15% of them having a friend who intervened and got them to safety. Most often, drugged products are used to facilitate drug-assisted s*xual assault, and most of these crimes also go unreported. (My source here)

So some simple math there, of a survey group, approximately 44%-56% of people were drugged without their knowledge, and only 15% of those drugs were able to get to safety because of friends. so that means that 85% of people who were drugged in this study had NO ONE to help them. NO ONE.

this isn’t about hating on the characters, it’s about criticizing the choices of the company that went through ideation, story boarding, programing, editing, beta testing, and planning and still didn’t think twice about the potential backlash this has against their audience. This is about people who have PTSD, people who still have to hang around certain people who did horrible things to them because no one would believe them. This is about turning real tangible struggles into entertainment, but it’s okay because MmMmM He’S hOt ThO aNd He’S a DeMoN. IRL hot people use drugs to assault too. People who you thought were your friends use drugs to assault too.

This doesn’t just happen in a game about demons either, and it’s actually one of the reason some of my friends have dropped off from the Otome genre altogether. It’s rather common and unfortunate that a lot of Japanese based games have at minimum a couple incidents of non-con per route as a way of making “sexy times.” This is an entire cultural plague that I can get into on another post, but it’s causing a lot of us who do really love otomes feel alienated from the community. By defending it, you’re basically saying that this cultural norm is okay so long as the character is hot. By being that “innocent person” who needs a “Strong aggressive push” from a “morally grey” man, you’re basically going back to the 1960′s with women being subservient to their assaulter because you showed them a little ankle, so you tempted them.

It’s dangerous, it’s wrong, and it’s not healthy for any relationship, and can have catastrophic backlash. Some people may think this is what a healthy relationship looks like, and bases their ideas of romance off it. Some may not be even able to read it because it reminds them too much of their own personal experiences. It’s not just fiction. It’s basically being said that this kind of behavior is “Expected” and “normal.”

We shouldn’t be okay with this being “normal” and we should hold companies like this to a higher standard. They aren’t just a company that is constrained to Japan, because they made the decision to have their game translated, and distributed to english markets. This was a CHOICE, and has nothing to do with “morally grey” characters. This is a game directed at the general masses for entertainment, not Catcher and the Rye.

End Post. In addition to this, I’d like to make sure that the community understands that those who have been harmed by assault via spiking are valid in their worries, valid in their fears, and valid in their anger against this “Design choice” the company has made. I know that those who suffer with PTSD can have insomnia, waking nightmares, irritability, depression, anxiety, and more with each episode. I know that not everyone has gotten help for what they’ve gone through, and maybe use fantasy as an escapism tool, and having something like this trespass into that safe space is demoralizing and tragic. I know that some of y’all have even turned to things that may not be healthy or legal, and that you have your up and down battles with everything. I know that this isn’t just about sensitivity, it’s a life changing event that you wish you could scrub from your history. 

Know that there are resources out there for you, and that as a community, we can be there for your too. 

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

https://www.psychguides.com/guides/ptsd-hotline/

If you need more help, even if it’s you just wanna air your grievances, please do reach out, 

#obey me #obey me: shall we date #obey me: one master to rule them all #obey me:swd #OM #om:swd #OM: OMTRTA #Shall we date #tw drugs #tw spiked #tw sex assault

[tropylium]

Read O Human Star. Nifty art and some very cool premises at first, but seems to me to fall pretty flat ultimately.

Major spoiler warnings in the following obviously:

The comic sets up an extensively futuristic world with mind uploading, fully robotic citizens with human-level AI, new revolutionary prosthetics, the first few human-like robotic bodies, etc… and then uses it just as a backdrop for some fairly predictable GBTQ drama. The basic problem I would diagnose is that the comic treats transhumanism as basically not real; just as a literary fantasy trope that can be fielded as an analogy to transsexuality which is recognized as an issue with real weight.

What is transsexuality* to even mean though when you’re a cyborg with in principle unlimited morphological freedom? Especially when the comic seems too squeamish to establish if the cyborgs even have things like genitalia or any analogue of hormones. It’s not as if this requires adding nudity; it would have been easy to write a possibly abortive sex scene between Brendan and Neo-Al. In the end Neo-Al does not even end up changing her body shape much (not sartorial style either for that matter). Are we supposed to gather that the bashfully commissioned hairstyle is the most major aspect of her transitioning?!

(* Before you ask, yes, I’m using this term explicitly to distinguish physical transitioning from social, on which see below.)

For that matter there would have been easily some room to explore non-gender-related bodily dysphoria within the existing main characters. We establish that robots do not need to poop as long as they stick to consuming mostly fructose (seems like a rather random pick of carb to me, but whatever). OK, so presumably they produce CO₂ exhaust and perhaps even dump any waste water primarily via evaporation instead of needing to pee. Now Sulla visibly does not enjoy trying to consume some soup with her friends; and ends up dumping some via … tear ducts? Of course she’s worried about this affecting her passing for a human. But what happens to the proteins etc. she has now ingested? Does she end up having to basically vomit this out later or to excrete it the human way? Does not having gut flora create any problems in this, e.g. in needing to process the matter fast before it begins to rot? Seems potentially pretty disturbing to me. Neo-Al, who has clear memories of eating and digesting regular human food, might have had an interesting time with this too.

It moreover feels like the gender identity angle of transitioning is not explored that much either beyond the most superficial level of changing one’s name and pronouns. These are indeed stressed in importance with the side character of Mx. Ty/Titus (who meanwhile seems to pay remarkably little attention to the implications of what is physically happening with the Sterlings). We are not privy to Sulla’s “thoughts a boy cannot have” either (kind of implied though to have something related to watching magical girl animes as bedtime stories) nor does she really do anything later on that’s conspicuously feminine (is she even interested in hanging out with the group of girls specifically or just with Ty?). The comic also goes to some length to establish Brendan’s identity as a gay man and his pain at Al choosing to keep their relatioship in the closet; it does nothing whatsoever, not even an epilogic hint, to explore how or if this changes after Neo-Al no longer identifies as a man. Lucille’s company seemingly only hiring women is also suspiciously clearly established in the comic, but not whether this creates a space or sense of camaredarie that Al Prime felt left out of (not any more so at least than how he was left out from a lot of social interaction due to his general reclusiveness).

The single most striking transition in the comic is for me instead Sulla’s early change from what’s effectively a worker robot to a child. This, too, is unfortunately passed by relatively fast despite the major shifts this must imply in self-image, perhaps the level of consciousness even. Or for that matter in how Brendan views her. Does he even see early Sulla as a person all the way or just as the memorabilia of one? When and how does the further decision to shape her into a prepubescent child develop? He obviously lets go of the hope of having preserved Al Prime at some point (otherwise he’d be aiming for building one of the adult Al bodies from the start, wouldn’t he) but this shift also zooms by unremarked. There might have been something similar interesting going on with Tsade, too, who’s surely the character with the lowest personal development to plot revelance ratio; they’re left as a pure deus ex machine as it is (in more than one sense too). Even their rise from a singular unemployed robot to someone with substantial resources remains entirely out of the view.

It’s also curious how we briefly hear of Tsade’s rise to a legal person but not much of a hint on where Sulla is on the curve. Is she too much under Brendan’s thumb to act on it? Too scared of no longer being able to pass as human in all situations if she were to be a Registered Synthetic? Or are we supposed to infer the process is just too trivial by the present day to be remarked on? If yes, there would be quite the possibility of “Nobby discourse” on Gimel, too. — Also as long as I’m on the worldbuilding, where has the robot underclass we see on the streets emerged from? Are these all supposed to be robots that were created for menial work, proved sentient and then similarly escaped from their workplaces (without too much resistance)? Or do robots, too, procreate? Sulla kind of does, but lol no, it’s not as if her position as Neo-Al’s de facto parent is acknowledged by the narrative, let alone by anyone in-universe.

Anyway what I take from this comic is that it quite convincingly asks the questions “what does it mean to be human / a person”, backpedals to “oh that’s less important than what it means to be a wo/man” and in the end doesn’t even have anything nontrivial to say on the latter either. Same aftertaste as that genre of glib tumblr posts to the effect “no don’t explore the question if the notion of gender even applies to robots, we only want robots who proudly identify as definitely girls”.

#comics #webcomics #transhumanism #reviews

[irrelevantpolitics]

Neoliberalism vs Star Trek

Neoliberalism broke the economy and now its breaking Star Trek.

The invisible hand of the free market has a lot to answer for. The rise of fascism in countries who still venerate the soldiers who fought against it. The growing inequality between those that own wealth and those that create it.

Star Trek is trivial in the face of such evils. So why do I care about it?

Gene Roddenberry was a complicated man. But he created one of the most enduring media enterprises of the late 20th and early 21st century. The series envisioned a humanity which has cast off the selfishness of its infancy and grown into a force for good in the galaxy. To quote one its most iconic characters:

“A lot has changed in the past three hundred years. People are no longer obsessed with the accumulation of things. We’ve eliminated hunger, want, the need for possessions.”

-          Jean Luc Picard *Star Trek The Next Generation, The Neutral Zone*

But it would be disingenuous to state that Star Trek is filled with space communists (I can feel Joseph McCarthy spinning in his grave). Rather the ideology of the series implies that once scarcity is eliminated, humanity can turn its sights to purer ideals. Personal freedoms and individuality are still central to the principles of the Federation, rather than the collectivist nightmares conjured by McCarthy and his contemporaries.

The media we consume, particularly in the science fiction and fantasy genres, tells us a lot about the kind of society we are and what we want to be. Star Trek provided a future in which peace has been achieved (for the most part at least). This was aspirational for many people. For me. Something to hope for. It spoke to the hopefulness of the 1960s, 80s and especially the 90s. The dream that one day we might escape from the iron grip of capitalism and work towards the betterment of everyone, is a strong draw for disaffected youth.

Then darkness started to creep in. It had always formed part of the iconic series, Deep Space Nine in particular. That paradise had to be protected from the worse aspects of our own nature, that constant vigilance needed to be maintained.

“Maybe. But she or someone like her will always be with us, waiting for the right climate in which to flourish – spreading fear in the name of righteousness. Vigilance, Mr. Worf. That is the price we have to continually pay.”

-          Jean Luc Picard *Star Trek The Next Generation, The Drumhead*

But this seems to have been taken to its most extreme in the more recent series. The hopefulness of the prior 60 years of canon is now viewed with almost contempt. The federation is a selfish and short-sighted entity, willing to compromise its own ideals in pursuit of political advantage. In Discovery and Picard there are large swaths of the alpha quadrant where the federation is missing entirely. And at the centre of it all is the selfishness of mankind.

I cannot deny that the Starfleet and the Federation have never had a darker side. DS9 dedicates many episodes to shadowy organisations like Section 31 and conspiracies within the highest levels of office. But that was always stated to be the failings of individuals within the federation, not the ethos by which it operates.

We now have so little faith in ourselves that we can’t even think of a society where things are better. All of us, tarnished with the same brush. When we lose the ability to believe that a better system is possible, we lose our chance to work towards it.

George Orwell once wrote:

“ Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it.”

-          George Orwell, *1984*

When we can no longer envision a future in which the pursuit of material wealth is our defining goal, then we lose our drive to work towards it. Why bother working for a better future when it’s clear that we can never learn from our past. The media we produce speaks to the ideals of those who create it and consume it. Watching a franchise that once spoke to the hopefulness of the future become another grim reflection of the present, has robbed me of some of my own faith in humanity. I feel silly for it, Star Trek is only a TV show made for profit after all. But there was something comforting knowing that we could at least dream of a future in which we can be better.

Neoliberalism leaves no room for dreams of the future. For the most part our economic system relies on the idea that for most people, things will not get better. The American Dream is a lie. If everyone could make it, there wouldn’t be enough for billionaires to exist. So by twisting one of the most hopeful pieces of media out there that idea is reinforced. Most must suffer for some to gain.

We are locked into a holding pattern. Dancing around the hope that we can do better, never landing because we can’t trust that others will work with us to get there. We fight over resources that are destroying us and elect people who have outright stated their contempt for us. We don’t believe we deserve better and therefore we don’t create stories where we do.

[beneaththetangles]

Otaku Reader’s Corner: Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear, TPN Side Story, and the Final Ao Haru Ride

Ao Haru Ride, Vol. 13

After thirteen volumes, Ao Haru Ride has come to an end, but instead of celebratory feelings, I couldn’t shake an irksome question: Why is it that this story just never really works? The unlikeable lead characters are one reason, with Kou and Futaba hurtling forward, especially in this volume, without much regard to others (The latter says the following or something like it more than once: “Even if I feel guilty, I have to keep moving forward.”), though the biggest concern with Ao Haru Ride is rather that there’s no subtlety. Despite the frustration I share with fans at the actions of Kou and Futaba, I mostly appreciate the authenticity and realism of thedr deeply flawed characters. Instead, my biggest criticism is that Io Sakisaka lets readers know too much about what they’re thinking, which not only reduces much of the suspense that naturally develops in a story, but also contributes to this dislike of the characters, for the more we know about an individual, the more there is to dislike. That’s how people are—beneath the beautiful veneer lies imperfections and even awfulness. And in addition, there’s not enough time within chapters to just let things rest: Too many panels feel like info dumps, and confessions come together far too quickly (as one does in this volume). Longtime readers will be excited to see how relationships evolve and culminate in the finale, but for the rest, we may be more excited about the bonus chapter to Strobe Edge, included in the volume, or Love Me, Love Me Not, Sakisaka’s more recent work which has been fantastic through its early volumes, better reflecting her enormous talent. ~ Twwk

Ao Haru Ride, Vol. 13 is available through Viz.

The Promised Neverland Special Side Story: The First Shot

Months after the finale of The Promised Neverland was released, readers were given a surprise: a whole special chapter dedicated to Ray before the events of the story. I gotta say, I enjoyed reading this while having my heart broken to pieces over this boy, especially as it confirmed a lot of things I suspected about him. In reading through his many thoughts and actions, it helps show why Ray became so cynical and suicidal over not being able to save everyone. Adding to that thought, the side story also develops his character further, shaping him into someone more hopeful and idealistic all the more fulfilling thanks to Emma’s influence on him. It also makes certain parts of the main story harsher in hindsight, such as the nightmarish experience Ray had in the Seven Walls, and Phil living out the same experience he had after the escape from Grace Field. Overall, this was a great focus chapter, and here’s hoping there’s more chapters Shirai and Demizu have in store for us (and if I had to choose which character I’d like to see next, it’d definitely be Ayshe). ~ thathilomgirl

The Promised Neverland Special Side Story: The First Shot is available through Viz.

Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear, Vols. 1-3

After reading stardf29’s first impression of the Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear anime, and watching the first episode for myself, I felt rather curious about how different the light novel might be. This is another fantasy-world-based-on-a-game type isekai story, with the major quirk being that protagonist Yuna is totally helpless unless she equips the magical bear onesie a god gave her. But OP battle shenanigans wearing a bear suit aren’t really the point of this tale. I get serious vibes of Dickens’s A Christmas Carol, another tale about a cynical, lonely moneygrubber changing with supernatural help. Yuna’s story is about a bitter, hurting person who claims to care about nothing but money finding healing through an unknown god’s meddling. This will sound ridiculous, but Yuna starts as a female teenage Japanese Ebenezer Scrooge in a bear onesie, before her isekai adventures push her to change. Three volumes in, I’m really enjoying this series. Beware, however, because you’ll need to bear with a fair number of ursine puns. ~ Jeskai Angel

Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear is published by Seven Seas Entertainment.

Laid-Back Camp, Vol. 7

Nadeshiko goes on her first solo camp! As much fun as it is to have the entire gang together, some of the best stories in Laid-Back Camp focus on the individual character journeys (both their physical trips and the little things they learn along the way). Volume seven features just three characters through most of its chapters: Nadeshiko, making her aforementioned trip; Rin, as she also goes solo camping; and Sakura, Nadeshiko’s older sister, who is making a journey as well. The usual laughs and cuteness are found on every page, as usual, but there’s also some nice relationship development that occurs in this volume, even as characters are mostly traveling apart, demonstrating the skill it takes to create an effective story that is far deeper than its CGDCT surface would indicate. Also per the the usual, these excursions will make you want to go camping, as the food that the girls cook and eat will make your mouth water—with the exception, perhaps, of a pungent and long-stewing Bear Paw soup. Yuck. Oh, and beware of tents dropping potatoes (and other wondrous things that come into Shimarin’s mind). ~ Twwk

Laid-Back Camp, Vol. 7 is available through Yen Press.

All My Darling Daughters

I had extra digital dollars at Amazon again, and looked into single-volume manga there that were well-received. That’s how I found All My Darling Daughters. Fumi Yoshinaga is known for her acclaimed shoujo and BL work, but though this series is out of that realm—a josei romance—it had rave reviews, so I snatched it up. I was not disappointed. The story centers on a group of women following the marriage of one of their mother’s to a much younger man. After surviving cancer, the mother decided to live her life as she pleased, with her actions impacting each of the members of the family and friend group differently. All My Darling Daughters is an interesting, self-contained story about adult relationships and how they can change over time. Very raw and unfiltered at times, I really appreciated this female driven story. ~ MDMRN

All My Darling Daughters is available through Viz.

Banished from the Hero’s Party, I Decided to Live a Quiet Life in the Countryside, Vol. 1

This mouthful of a light novel title is about a former member of the hero’s party who was kicked out by another member because his skill, which gave him a large starting level advantage and trivialized the early-game, was starting to fall off in the mid-game. Taking on the name Red, this former hero heads off to the frontier, far away from the whole Demon Lord war, and starts an apothecary, where he’s joined by a princess that he worked with in the past. This is a super-charming novel with a very sweet romance developing between the two leads, interspersed with some stories both past and present about the hero’s party, what role “Red” had beforehand, and how they’re coping with losing a member that might have been more helpful than one of the members thought he was. The way this world uses the idea of every character having a “unique” ability (a “Blessing”) is also interesting because those abilities also affect their mental states, and not always for the better. It’s an interesting mix of laid-back romantic slice-of-life and more serious events, and I definitely want to read more of it. ~ stardf29

Banished from the Hero’s Party, I Decided to Live a Quiet Life in the Countryside is published by Yen Press.

Fairy Tail, Vol. 30

I’m nearing the halfway point of my read through of Fairy Tail and let me tell you—it’s okay. I’m surprised this series has kept my attention for as long as it has for there’s nothing deep and the series feels very superficial. It’s an action series about a group of scrappy wizards. It’s fun and entertaining…and I don’t have to think about it too much. Yet, at times I find the characters surprising me in unique ways, with this volume centering on climactic events at Tenrou Island that shake the series to its core, while continuing to move character growth forward (particularly with Cana and Gildarts), being no exception. And I’ll say this as well—Mashima basically makes every other chapter cover page a picture that feels like an Instagram model’s thirst trap post. No, I’m not joking. That said, I’m still keeping at it and will continue to work my way through the entire main series. I mean, it’s kind of mindless at times, but it’s fun, and sometimes that’s all you need from a manga series. ~ MDMRN

Fairy Tail, Vol. 30 is available through Kodansha.

The King Of Fighters: A New Beginning Chapters 1-8

The King of Fighters series is a staple in the fighting game genre. I enjoy the rivalries that several of the characters have, like Iori and Kyo or Terry and Geese. The opening chapters of the manga center on a tournament to decide who is the greatest fighter, with a new mysterious team watching to see who is the strongest. He seems very powerful, and would even challenge the main heroes or villains of the series, so that’s interesting! I got through several of the chapters pretty easily as the beginning is just introducing the various teams. In the game and this manga, there are three characters that are partners or share similar fighting styles. The artwork was very detailed, but also fanservice heavy, which I don’t appreciate. What I did enjoy, though, was the first battle between the famous Kyo and Iori; it was great to read and looked similar to the game. I look forward to reading more, and seeing what’s in store for this tournament—hopefully more depth than just some random powerful character with an ego. ~ Samuru

The King of Fighters: A New Beginning is published by Seven Seas.

#Manga #Light Novels #Ao Haru Ride #Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear #The Promised Neverland #Laid Back Camp #All My Darling Daughters #Banished from the Hero’s Party I Decided to Live a Quiet Life in the Countryside #Fairy Tail #The King of Fighters: A New Beginning #Yuru Camp #Aisubeki Musumetachi #Shin no Nakama ja Nai to Yuusha no Party wo Oidasareta node Henkyou de Slow Life suru Koto ni Shimashita #Otaku Reader's Corner #Articles #Author: TWWK #Author: MDMRN #Author: JeskaiAngel #Author: stardf29 #Author: thathilomgirl #Author: Samuru

[okimargarvez]

WHEN THEY FIRST MET- JJ

Original title: When they first met.

Prompt: writing challenge.

Warning: none.

Genre: family, romantic, comedy, friendship.

Characters: all members of BAU team, O.C.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot (collection of individual tales of each member, except for Walker).

Legend: 💑💏😘😈👓🔦🎲🎈👻⚰.

Song mentioned: none.

When They First Met- Masterlist

MY OTHER GARVEZ STORIES

JJ: The new dog trainer

 Penelope was very happy in this moment. In one hand she held the smallest of Henry, her beloved godson. In the other, a bag of biscuits for dogs. -You'll see, here there are many beautiful dogs, many cute animals to play with... - she enters in the building. -Hello Beth, today I brought a little man with me... - a woman of about fifty old, sticks herself out of the desk to scrutinize them. She immediately smiles.

-Oh, what a handsome young man! Penelope, there is a new dog trainer. Right now he's out with Rob.- the blonde's face is overshadowed.

-How is Rob?- the child seems to perceive her emotions from the simple handshake, as well as from the tone.

-It seems that the treatment is working, but you will see it with your own eyes. They are in the green area.- she nods and heads for the indicated destination.

-What is the grrrr...- he tries to pronounce the word correctly -...green ara?- she pauses for a moment and turns towards him.

-Green area, honey.- she corrects him with a sweet voice. -It's a place where the young dogs along with the oldests, go to rest.- Henry seems to have understod somethin else, because his eyes are big and shiny. -No, lovely, don't cry. Don't "rest", in that sense, come, when you will have seen, you will understand.- they begin to walk again. Finally they reach a lawn area with many trees that create various shadow areas. Here are three dogs that are sleeping, perfectly visible, two in normal positions and a third with air belly. A laughter escapes from the child. -Have you seen? They're all right, they're just doing the nap, like you do after your mother reads you a fairy tale.- she pronounces the magic word.

-Mommy...- he moans, taken from a sudden melancholy and nostalgia of the maternal figure.

In that exact moment comes another exemplary canine, battered, hedgehog fur perpetually disheveled, physically fully it shows his age, but right now runs like a puppy. And behind him a man, dark hair and Latin traits, chases him shouting his name in vain. -Rob, wretched, stop! Rob!- the nominated executes order, but him just hangs in front of Penelope and the baby, starting the washing stage on the latter. -Sorry, he's very expansive... - so closely, Garcia sees how the man is tall and his uniform that left only guess muscles: white T-shirt with logo of the doghouse and pants dark blue. -... but he's not bad.- he probably thinks Henry might be scared.

-Oh, I know well.- the blonde responds, throwing other looks. -You are the new trainer?- excellent choice, I approve unconditionally. Even before, she loved spending her free weekends here, but if the company is this... a few more days will not be a great sacrifice.

-Yup. Luke, nice to meet you.- the pleasure is all mine. Oh, heck, Garcia, how did you become trivial! Just see a piece of nice man and you go completely in mush!

-Penelope. And this is Henry.- she holds his hand, then observes the exchange between the two. Note yet another detail: he doesn't bring faith to the finger. This doesn't necessarily mean that he's not engaged. Penelope, come back to earth. You're here to volunteer, not the volunteer. Even Luke doesn't remain indifferent to the sight of that shapely blonde, dressed in a flowered habit and very short, very high-heeled shoes and a bow on the head. Not really the appropriate clothing to stay here. A decidedly sprint mom, he thinks, looking at the blond child even more than she, while she strokes Rob. -Anyway I know this scoundrel since he was little more than a puppy. I come here a lot of years.- she informs him, almost smugly.

-Ah, then I understand everything.- he whistles, calling the dog to his side.

-How are you?- she asks in a tone that reveals all her concern. -Beth told me that the treatment is working, but had a strange expression... I don't know ... maybe I'm a bit ... paranoid.- she smiles and Luke remains dazzled, for a moment stunned to stare at her. He looks at the child, as if afraid to talk about things too serious. Penelope nodes that there's no problem.

-I'm only here for a week, but yes, I can confirm that Rob is reacting well... - she approaches him, because she feels the "but" in the air, all his doubts. Nearly the man jumps, feeling her perfume and seeing her so close. He looks down and meets the big dark eyes of the blonde. -But his age is however very advanced, and... I think ... the disease won't have won... if you know what I mean.- Penelope understood this perfectly.

-Henry, would you like to go play with those dogs? Do you see them? I'll be here, I'll not lose sight of you for a moment... - the child walks away. When she turns back to him, Luke notices the first tears are trying to break the barrier. She doesn't say anything, in fact, tries not to get noticed, but it's a fairly difficult task. The man understands why Penelope is crying and he feels a growing desire to comfort her. Yet he has just meet her, from thirty minutes and already feels to have diagnosed her. -I always say that I should be able to restrain myself, but then I can't keep my promises... excuse me, you're probably busy, I don't want to waste your time...- she turns to Henry and makes to call him back, but Luke stops her, grabbing her arm.

-I'm not busy, it's nice to find someone who loves animals so much... do you have any? - it's clear that he touched a sore subject. The expression of the blonde becomes even more suffering.

-No, I've never had pet... even when I was little. It may seem ironic, don't you think?- she laughs. In this way Luke has the opportunity to hear that crystalline sound for the first time. -Maybe it's precisely for this that I became an animalist... - her eyes are far away, lost in time. -And you?- it seems ridiculous to continue with the formalities, but she'll certainly not be the one who takes next big step.

-I have always had a lot of animals, especially dogs. Right now... I have this monster.- while he talking pulls out his wallet and latter a photograph of a pretty Belgian shepherd. Penelope's blonde hair touches his arm, tickling him. -She is eight years old, yet the other day we noticed that she's pregnant... - his eyes light up as he is talking.

-What's her name?- he realizes that even the women's eyes are shining.

-Sandra.- he notices that she is holding back a laugh. -I know, it's a strange name, but don't look at me, it was my mother who chose it... oh, excuse me, I didn't want ... - he exclaims when he realizes that he uses a confidential tone.

-Oh, don't worry! It's not a problem, was beginning to be ridiculous, this thing of keep a distance, I guess we'll have the same age, more or less... - Penelope returns to direct her attention to the child, which playing catch with a dog about six months old, very snappy and playful. At one point, Henry loses the balance and falls, without being hurts, but she worried however and runs toward him. Luke follows her, reflecting on being a mother, on maternal love, perhaps the only real sentiment that exists on this earth. And this woman must be a fabulous mother... but also single? Because she doesn't bring faith, she didn't mention any husband... Luke, please, don't start with these thoughts. You should train Rob, not flirting with voluntary mothers and probably married... From a distance he sees her picking him up and checking that he has no sign, clean him from the ground, then caress the dog, with an equally sweet look. It will be hard to stay focused on the job, today... -... sure, mommy loves you very much ... - she's saying, when she reaches them.

-Hey, he's okay?- even Rob has followed him and looks suspiciously at the puppy.

-Yes, yes, fortunately not even a scratch. Otherwise JJ would have strangled me!- she laughs but stops when she catches the surprise expression (positive) of Luke, that's still staring her. And then she understands that he had thought...

-Henry is not your son?- he can't help but ask.

-Oh, no! I wish!- she always responds giggling and smiling, but the man seems to find some note of regret in her tone and a veneer of melancholy in her eyes. -No, I'm just the godmother. The mother is one of my best friends.- she shrugs.

He isn't her son. And by the way she has spoken I would say she's not even a mother... impossible to believe, seeing how she behaves with Henry and the animals... but that means it may not even exist any husband or boyfriend who's waiting her at home... What a hell of a thought, I have to stop it.

-And you? Do you have any children?- but she seems that she isn't going to change the subject either.

-No ...- and he would like to add And I never thought of having or wanting to, because I never found the right woman... -Only dogs.- Why I want to make her understand that I am loose as a goose? If all I want is to ask her a date, why I can't just do it? Heck, Alvez, a little courage. You face minefields, alleged wild beasts, every day and you do yourself put into crisis by a blonde with glasses, the innocent gaze and mischievous eyes... Suddenly an imagine glares him. She against the wall, he leans on her body. It almost feels like he really feels her breast pressed against his chest... Keep yourself! There's also a baby here! Better he doesn't understand ahead of time what reaction the women could cause at the men!

-Ah, I understood.- Penelope also doesn't know what to say. She has noticed a strange look, from the trainer, long and intense, although at one point seemed to be on another planet. Maybe his girlfriend had a miscarriage and that's why they broke up... Always run too far with fantasy, Garcia. Mind your business once in your life. Fortunately, the phone rings, removing them from that awkward silence. -Yes?- she has seen that the caller is JJ.

-Hey, Garcia, I wanted to tell you that we're already coming back. If you want to free yourself from the burden a bit before... - she laughs, and Luke asks himself who is from the other line, a man or a woman? A potential rival? But rival of what? You just met her, you just talked about dogs and children..., but in a roundabout way.

-But what a burden! Taking care of Henry is a joy. He has seen so many beautiful dogs today...- And I also seen a nice piece of latin male... Thanks to this last sentence, the man realizes that the caller is none other than the mother of the child. He doesn't hold a sigh. He's in a real bad way. But it never happened to such a thing at him, being so taken immediately by a woman; in fact, it's usually the women who buzz around him, but they are all boring, interested only in shopping, talking about diets... But she is different, how can you say it after such a short time? And yet he is sure of how much he feels, Penelope isn't a common woman, he could tell by the way she expresses herself, rather than how she dresses. And he doesn't take much effort to pretend that she is his... wife, that Henry is their son (even if he wouldn't has got any of his stuff), that they are choosing a dog to give him a home, to enlarge the family...

-Fantastic! We'll be home for... around 5:00 of the evening.- she nods, but her friend can't see her.

-OK it's good. And... JJ, I should talk to you about something, after... - yes, she has to talk about Luke to someone, because needs to explain all the evidence gathered, so she'll gets a dispassionate opinion and if the response is positive... come back soon to the doghouse, with any excuse, without children, to push more on the accelerator.

-Ok. You can't back out, now intrigued me!- she laughs and closes the call. Luke is still there staring at her.

-I have... I have to go. Mum today comes home earlier.- she explains, as if it were his business.

After the announcement she seems to grasp an almost sad expression, as if he was sorry she's going to leave. How I wish I could take a picture of him in this moment. Any clue that she'll lead to the check of JJ, will still be filtered by her head. And we know that we see what we want to see...

-Yeah. I still have to... continue the training with Rob.- Penelope nods, so to turn his back, holds the hand of Henry in hers -You'll come back?- he asks. She back to look at him, maybe a little too upset. -To see Rob, how is him, I mean.- but of course, of course he didn't want to know if she would come back to see him.

-Yes, I'll come back- she gives a slight smile. At that simple gesture Luke feels every piece of skin vibrate.

-Good.- he only responds. Stop it, ask her date and get it over. Penelope looks down. The next time, when she comes back, I ask her. First of all. Really.

-Yeah ...- she seems intimidated, as if she had feel, as if she understood what he feels -... so... have a good day.- another smile.

-Even to you, Penelope.- when she is a barely visible speck now, he caresses the head of the old dog, which seems to reciprocate his look. -You too.-

  -So? - after greeting her child, JJ throws on her friend to find out what this is the thing which she has to speak. Maybe she finally wants to publicly admit, seriously, that she feels something for their colleague, Derek?

-Before you. False alarm or...? - she tries to change the subject, but is really interested.

-Yes, you will become a godmother another time. But now tell me what you wanted to talk to me, you had a strange voice on the phone... anxious and mischievous. It's about a man, is not it? - the blonde with glasses sighs.

-Damned all profiler!- the other laughs. -Yes. At the doghouse... ... I met a tall, dark man, dark eyes... - her legs melt only remembering -it's the new dog trainer... the volunteer who cares for Rob, that old dog of which I was talking you the other day...- JJ nods, but signals her to return to the point. -and ... nothing, he was looking at me a bit too, so strange... and ... he's single, or at least, he said he has no children... he believed that Henry was mine!- not so hard to thinking, since all three have the blond hair. -Because I asked him if he had children and he said no and "only dogs". He really said that. I don't know, now I realize that it's not a great story, who knows what you expected...- and yet JJ is smiling, mischievously.

-Our Garcia got a hit here! And what's his name?- Does she really think that what I told her are clues that he likes me?

-Um ... I don't remember...- her friend looks at her surprised, then looks up at the sky.

-Lu... Luke.- the little Henry answers in her place.

 ***

 Everybody are silent staring at the author of the story.

-Now I can tell you that, like Emily, this thing has happened to me too. One evening we came back before and Penelope told me about this guy, Latin, which was trainer where she went as a volunteer for the dogs and I'm sure his name was Luke. It wasn't really him, but it's a good coincidence, at least.- JJ smiles, because she remembers that day perfectly and her son while uttering that name without knowing the meaning.

To hurry up, Stephen immediately begins to read the next story.

TAGS: @theshamelessmanatee @itsdawnashlie @talesoffairies @janiedreams88 @kiki-krakatoa @yessenia993 @teyamarra @c00lhandsluke  @gcchic @arses21434 @orangesickle @entireoranges @jarmin @kathy5654 @martinab26 @thisonekid @thenibblets @perfectly-penelope @ambrosiaswhispers @maziikeen92 @lovelukealvez @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @ichooseno  @ megs2219 @rkt3357 @franklintrixie @thinitta @chewwy123 @skisun @maba84 @saisnarry @myhollyhanna23 @thenorthernlytes

#garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #alvez x garcia #garcia x alvez #BAU team #criminal minds #cm #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #tara lewis #david rossi #spencer reid #stephen walker #henry lamontaigne

[nooradeservedbetter]

just a little rant about abarat

i’ve finished reading abarat: absolute midnight by clive barker and idk man.

like i know i have waited the longest time to read it, mostly because of clive’s known writing times (he takes a lifetime to write a book, like abarat 2 came out in 2004, abarat 3 in 2011, and we’ll wait 2050 for abarat 4 i’m sure), and because lately i’ve almost exclusively been reading non-fiction.

and idk man, i mean, i LOVE barker, and i love his ability to do worldbuilding and creating characters. he’s never trivial, and in everything fantasy he writes it never feels overdone or out of place. i love the abarat world, i loved the imajica world when i read it, and this book did not disappoint from that point of view.

but, man. the romance. MAN, THE ROMANCE.

like, honestly, the only reason i can think of for a romance that’s so... ugly and not-felt-at-all is that he’s a gay man and doesn’t understand the Straights(tm) bc otherwise i’m just... like it’s so fucking weird. so fucking weird.

like the protagonist meets the man of her dreams bc he’s thrown in their boat while they’re escaping from a lynching, and at first he wants to kill them, but she defeats him easily (in max 500 words) and then “her heart starts beating faster”. and then they don’t talk a lot but apparently they love each other so much. so so much. and the first proper conversation they get is to tell each other they love each other so much.

i’m--

it felt like enchanted, when giselle says she must marry her prince because she loves him very much because they’re destined to be together because it is what it is. like it doesn’t make sense at all.

and i would just write it off to clive barker being unable to write a romance because it’s a woman genre(tm) and he’s a Serious Writer(tm), but actually i still remember the love story in imajica (who was between a wizard and an intersex non-human creature) feeling so raw and so right, and so well-built that left me with an open mouth and wanting more. like, maybe it’s just that i was younger and i should definitely reread imajica, but i remember the slow burn. i remember it.

and not, like, “i love you even if this is like the 20th word i am saying to you”

it just felt so weird, i don’t even. i just felt the need to rant

#books #clive barker #abarat #bookblr #i guess #actually he's not a Serious Writer(tm) bc he writes genre fiction #oh well

[yoursatanboyfriend]

The Ninth Paradigm: Chap. 4

Title: The Ninth Paradigm (X) Rating: M Warnings: Heavy themes such as: Non-con/dub-con, PTSD, Manipulation, Child Abuse, Gang Violence, references to depression and self-harm. Summary: There are infinite alternate universes, and an infinite amount of numbers between 7 and 8, but none will ever be /nine/.

                                    Breakfast at Casper’s

“The tragedy, Sixer, is right here.” Bill raised both his hands, the tattoos aching beneath the skin.

                                   -sometime in the future, date unknown.

Against better judgement, Stanford decided to meet with Bill again. The man mentioned he had important information to share, but only if they met in person. Ford wasn’t sure why he’d agreed – it sounded like nonsense. Was it loneliness, maybe? Bill was in contact with Fiddleford and right now, be it vicariously, Bill felt like the closet person to Ford. The fact Bill was basically conning Fiddleford out of money didn’t sit well with him, but it was not as if he could let Fiddleford know. He could only play along for now. Refusal would most likely cause Bill to say he ‘couldn’t get in touch with Ford anymore’, and his ex-assistant would then have a mental breakdown.

Then there was the possibility of Bill being Gaspard’s son, if that was the case then of course he’d try to lure Ford into a false sense of security. Taking Bill’s words at face value would be a mistake. He would play it safe regardless. Better safe than sorry.

What a nightmare…

He’d chosen a popular café, always busy around this time of day, ensuring the other man could not try anything. The public’s eyes made a good protective armour.

Bill arrived right on time, wearing another mustard yellow coat only slightly larger and open in the front. A white shirt and glimpses of a black waist coat could be seen beneath. “Well well well well well!” he said, slipping into the booth. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, Stanford.”

“Hello Bill.” Ford said, not bothering to stifle the large sigh that escaped his lips; it let Bill know exactly how happy he was to see him.

Bill raised a hand to get a waiter’s attention, his other hand emptying his pockets onto the table: a cell phone and wallet. When the waiter came over, he ordered without looking at the menu, implying familiarity with the venue. His attention eventually returned to Ford and he regarded the man through heavy-lidded eyes.

“You were going to explain something to me.” Ford said, waiting for Bill’s promised explanation on why it was apparently okay for them to meet in public without arousing suspicion.

“Look at you, now look at me.” Bill said, his fingers gesticulating to Ford and himself respectively. “You look like my sugar daddy. If anyone’s been following you and saw me, my interactions with you clearly imply—”

“Sugar daddy?!” Ford interrupted. “Now hold on—”

“Just relax. This is all according to plan. Don’t get so uppity.” Bill patted his chest. “I have something from Fiddleford for you. I was meant to give it to you the last time we saw but I got a little carried away.”

Bill leaned slightly forward, towards Ford and in a low voice, said, “I’ll hand it to you later. I’ll create a nice little lovey-dovey scenario so it looks like I’m just fooling around with you.”

Ford huffed but sought not to bother arguing. What unnecessary theatrics.

“In the meantime…we can chat. My food isn’t even here yet.”

Ford didn’t say anything, but did not object either.

“How about Q and A? I ask you a question, you answer it. Or we both ask questions that we both have to answer.”

“What kind of questions? And what makes you think I’d be interested in hearing your answers?”

Ignoring Ford’s last comment, Bill went ahead. “I’ll start—what’s your favourite genre of book?”

With a roll of his eyes, Ford decided to succumb. “Science fiction, non-fiction and fantasy.” Ford replied, tilting his head curiously at Bill. These sorts of questions definitely weren’t what he’d expected but figured there was no real harm in playing along.  Bill was decisive and good at leading conversations. For an introvert like Stanford, it made all the difference when it came to enjoying a conversation. “You?”

“A little bit of everything. Favourite genre of movie?”

“Sci-fi, again. Fantasy and documentaries.”

“Not surprised. Personally, I can enjoy anything if it’s good.”

They continued for perhaps ten minutes before Bill’s food arrived, exchanging trivial information about one another. Among various other details, Ford learned Bill’s favourite colours were green and yellow, his favourite shape was a triangle, he’d grown up here and his favourite animal was a platypus- something about its chaotic and nonsensical appearance appealed to him.

What a peculiar boy.

“You should come over to my place sometime.” Bill took a bite of his pancake and swallowed it whole. Bill did not remove his gloves when he ate, despite the mess. “And sign all your papers I have.”

“My papers?” Ford asked, taken aback. Never mind the offer of going to Bill’s home. That was entirely out of the question.

“Yeah, been reading them. Really liked your one on alternate realities.” Another piece of pancake was devoured.

Ford was nearly speechless. One thing he had not expected was Bill to have read his papers- especially that paper, a paper than had been met with much scrutiny and negativity. The blow dealt to his reputation had not been enough to truly hinder him in any way, but having his integrity insulted in any way left lasting marks in his ego.

“That’s a surprise.” Ford said honestly.

“Yeah we have a lot in common. I wasn’t joking when I said I liked you, Ford. It’s just that it’s one-sided—I’ve seen all of you and you haven’t seen any of me. Frustrating, if you ask me.” Bill said. “Our Q and A might’ve helped but it’s not enough.”

Ford’s brows furrowed, unsure what to make of Bill’s words. Was Bill serious or joking? It was always hard to tell. Did he sincerely believe they could ever become romantically involved?

“That was what you wanted funding for, yeah?” The remainder of the pancake seemed to fight against being eaten, the golden syrup dripping everywhere and the pastry somehow crumbling into pieces before the man could get it into his mouth. “You wanted to try building a portal to an alternate reality.”

Ford did not reply immediately, then Bill took a sip of his orange juice and continued, “Is it really possible?”

“I’d like to try regardless.” Ford said finally, surprised at Bill’s accepting attitude.

“Your ideas entice me, Stanford. Even if they are pretty out there.” Bill said, getting to work on the next pancake. “I’ve been really into that kinda stuff lately—you know, philosophy, the meaning of life, yadada. Hey, you know, I heard if you screw up your first impression, it’s easily fixed by spending time with the person.”

“Is that so?” Ford said, his hand curling around his cup of tea and choosing not encourage nor discourage Bill. Either Bill was much younger than Ford had anticipated, or he was naïve when dealing with people. Or was Ford the naïve one?

A small piece of paper and pen were shoved towards Ford. “Hey, write my name for me. Real quick.”

Looking down and confused, Ford asked. “For what reason?”

“Just do it, come on.”

Ford did as requested, but not without hesitation and suspicion.

Bill slid the paper from Ford to himself. “Huh. So that’s what your handwriting looks like. Cursive. I like it.”  He took the pen, scribbled a few words onto the paper and handed it back to Ford.

It was Stanford written thrice. The first was a messy scrawl, while the second was neat and clean cursive. The last was would be best described as ‘normal’, nothing particularly stood out about it making it incredibly forgettable.

“One for business, one for pleasure and one for miscellaneous.” Once Ford had gotten a good look, Bill snatched the paper up, putting it into a pocket.

“So, kids make fun of you? With your six fingers.” Bill asked, changing the subject while eyeing Ford’s fingers. The man seemed oddly fascinated with Ford’s deformity, it caught his eye whenever Ford’s hands were visible to him.

“Yes. You know kids will be kids.”

“I can relate.”

“What did you do? In New York, I mean. You said you were there for several years.”

Bill’s face suddenly brightened, excited at Ford showing interest in him. “Worked lots of odd jobs. Eventually decided to become a PI, got qualified and then moved here.”

“It’s been lonely, leaving New York behind.” Bill added. “I had to move back though.”

“Why? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“My mother wanted to see me one last time.”

“Oh.” Ford said solemnly.  “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. It’s not like you killed her.” Bill sipped his orange juice again, discomfort visible in the slouch of his shoulders. Was Bill implying his mother had been murdered, or did she simply die? Ford didn’t want to pry, knowing it’d look insensitive.

“I killed her.” Bill said unexpectedly. Something shone in Bill’s eyes, as though he sought a reaction from Ford. Once Ford titled his head in concern, he continued. “I left home, against her wishes. She became depressed and when I returned, well…her health had deteriorated. If I hadn’t left—hey, bet she’d be alive!”

Losing a parent was difficult, and in certain cases, the children of the departed felt like they had indirectly played a part in causing the death of said parent. Ford wondered if this was the case with Bill, and despite his happy-go-lucky facade, the man secretly harboured undeserved guilt. It could explain the man’s irrational, bordering on self-destructive behaviour.

Curiosity got the better of Ford and he went ahead. “Do you feel responsible for your mother’s death, Bill? You shouldn’t. It wasn’t–”

Like a light source vanishing, Bill shut down Ford. “Shut the fuck up, Ford.” His eyes narrowed just barely, before widening again. "Look at me, telling you personal details about myself. Nothing like building an emotional bond, huh?”

Unsure of what to say, Ford sipped his tea. Comforting people had never been his forte and more often than not, he put his foot in his mouth- just as he had done now.

“So how about we play a few more minutes of Q and A, and when we’re done, you head to the bathroom and I’ll give you something nice.” Bill said, his voice taking on a playful inflection.

Ford reluctantly agreed, assuming Bill referred to the item from Fiddleford.

Bill continued. “But it’ll be the Not Safe For Work Version. As in, I’m going to pry into your personal life, and ask you about all the sinful things you’ve done, old man.”

“Good luck with that, Bill.” Ford replied dryly, sipping his tea.

“So, do you drink? I’ve never seen you indulge in festivity.”

“No, I don’t.” Ford said, confirming Bill’s theory. Once again, not expecting this type of question.

“Why not? You’re really boring, huh?” Bill said smiling. Something in his face had changed, ever so slightly, as if Ford’s answer caught him off-guard—or disarmed him. One of the two, whatever it was, it wasn’t so subtle that Ford could not see it.

Or rather, Ford was perceptive enough to catch it.

“I’m not interested.”

“You only live once, Stanford. You should let loose—you don’t have that many days left, do you? It’s okay to get a little weird with it. I, myself, love me some fancy beverages that’ll fuck up my liver. So, when did you lose your virginity? Was it a guy or a girl? Which came first?”

And there it was. Ford knew this sort of talk was coming. To play along or just ignore the man? He doubted Bill would get too angry if he declined but at the same time, Bill was a stranger and their time together was limited. What did it matter what you said to a stranger? Maybe he would live just a little…

“At college. That’s a lot of questions at once…let me think. A woman was my first. I’ve only been once with a man, in my late thirties.” Ford was half lying; he’d been with a man, but they’d done everything except penetrative sex. Revealing that differentiation to Bill seemed unwise.

“Ooh pretty late huh? Lost mine early. Before I even hit 18.  But really, whoa—you’ve only been once with a guy? And women? Or did you try it once and then think ‘nah not for me’?” Bill’s answer wasn’t surprising. To Ford, he appeared quite clearly on the promiscuous side; although the assumption of losing one's virginity implying promiscuity was not entirely true. Ford had to remind himself.

“I’ve always been more focused on my studies. I’m not one for socialising, it’s hard to meet people—of either sex.”

Bill half-pouted, half frowned - the display comedic. “You don’t get those natural urges?”

“Sex is like dessert, Bill. I don’t always need it but when I do have it, I’d prefer it to be at the end of a decent meal.”

“Nice metaphor, slick. Would you consider this a decent meal?”

“You know Bill, you remind me, oddly enough, of a certain type of student I’ve encountered in my years as a lecturer. The ones who flirt without restraint, to seduce and tempt me in hopes of securing a good grade. Your methods are very alike to them. I thought I’d let you know.”

Bill gave a short chuckle. “If you wanna play teacher/student, I’m very down for it, Ford.”

“I’m implying—” Ford stopped and resumed. “How old are you? Really?”

“You know how old I am.”

“Are you really 31?”

Bill gave a shrug. “Man, I can’t make you believe. Out of curiosity though, why don’t you like dating younger people? Isn’t it every old man’s dream to have a hot young piece of ass?”

“I shouldn’t have to raise my partner.” Ford said, bluntly.

“Ah. I get you, I get you. That’s a good answer, Ford. Real mature. Youngest you’d go?”

“50, give or take.”

“Aw come on! That’s selling yourself short. You’d could go as low as 40, even 30.” He gave a sly smile, nodding mischievously as though he’d told Ford a juicy secret.

“No, Bill.”

“You say my name a lot. It’s nice to imagine how you’d say it under less modest circumstances. You’re practically a virgin—one guy huh? Only one…if I got rid of him and fucked you, think I could claim I took your virginity?”

Ford was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Having had enough, Ford stood up and left for the bathroom. He knew Bill would follow soon, and sought to make the best of his alone time. Giving his hands and mouth a quick wash, he went on to fix his jacket and shirt, ensuring no food bits had gotten stuck.

The door opened and in came Bill. “I put the ‘out of order’ sign on the door. No one will come in now.”

“They might come in to check what’s wrong.”

“Nah. If anyone comes in, I’ll kill them.” The nonchalance in Bill’s tone made Ford wonder if the man had brought his gun with him today.

“So…” Bill settled himself against the wall next to the sink Ford occupied, with the intent to watch as Ford, out of spout of nerves, rinsed his hands again. The attentiveness to something so small reminded Ford to a cat.

“Something about you…makes me irrationally angry.” The running water was cut by Bill’s gloved fingers. Crumbs of pastry and hints of syrup went down with the water along with Ford’s sense of security. They’d gotten along fine, and Bill seemed intent on ruining it.

“But I haven’t decided what it could be. The discount senior citizens get on parking, perhaps? I just don’t know, Ford.” The tone used by Bill spoke appeared condescending, but beneath lay a sense of worry.

Still movement between the two broke by Bill placing a hand over Ford’s own that lay at the sink’s side. The older man immediately retracted his hand and Bill responded with, “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Back to threatening me again?”

“I wasn’t threatening you. I just don’t think you should’ve done that, is all.” Pensive silence passed while Bill seemed to study Ford’s face, eyes slowly wandering from feature to feature.

“What the fuck am I doing? I’ve really lost my touch, haven’t I?”

Sneaking glances at Bill via his peripheral vision, he assumed the other man is referring to his failed attempts at alleged seduction.

“You know, don’t you?”

Ford now assumed Bill was referring to his true age. “It’s not very hard to tell, Bill.”

“What gave it away? Our phone conversation?”

“And today. You can claim to be older all you want, but your youth is very much brazen.”

Bill replied with a defiant and ambiguous guttural noise.

“When I’m with you, alone, everything is different.” Bill’s hands sunk into his pockets, his back supported by the wall. “Like I’m in a T.V show, something make-believe. It isn’t real.” He suddenly grabbed Ford by the arm with both hands. “But you are real, and this is real.”

His hand reached for Ford’s face, hesitating in mid-air briefly. “You’re old enough to be my—” Bill paused. “—Yet nothing. There’s nothing.” His attention moved to Ford’s hands, at those six fingers. “You’re a freak, just like me. Born a freak and you can never escape it.” Bill murmured, talking to himself more than Ford. The older man was unsure how to respond, choosing silence as the best option.

A hand found Ford’s pants and Ford felt something slipped into his pocket. Bill’s mannerisms when doing so could easily, from afar, resemble excessive flirtation. It was a smart move, Ford thought, but still incredibly uncomfortable. “Burn it when you’re done.” He whispered in Ford’s ear, giving it a nimble lick. Ford had to fight himself not to push Bill off. This was all theatrical, he reminded himself, it had a purpose—but God, Bill took everything too far.

A few pats on Ford’s shoulders and Bill turned to leave. But then, abruptly, he spun around and made a grab for Ford’s jacket at the collar, and next thing Ford knows, he’s against the wall. It was happening again; something had snapped in Bill, and now he was acting like that again.

“Come on, Ford. Say yes—right here, right now. No one will come in. I promise.” A coercing hand pawed at his crotch, cupping it imprecisely.

“No.” After enough observation and introspection, Ford was beginning to theorize Bill’s motives, and the impetus that caused the boy to act so strangely. He was a boy, no doubts in Ford’s mine about it anymore, and Ford now made the conscious decision to treat Bill as he would a child. It was worth a shot.

“When we’re fucking, you’ll ask yourself why you said no. You don’t know what you’ve been missing. I’ll let you do anything, Ford. Do you even know what that means, you senile fuck? Can you even get what I’m offering you?”

Ford said nothing, his face void of expression.

“Ford. Ford. Ford. Ford. Don’t make me hurt you. Come on, give it to me.”

“What exactly do you want me to give to you, Bill?” Ford asked monotonously.

“Oooh, dirty talk? Is that what you like?”

“No, I’m asking you. What exactly do you want from me?”

The question somehow subdued Bill shortly, disarray surfacing within his eyes. The window of opportunity was brief, and Ford took it. He grabbed the hand at his crotch firmly, and guiding the hand steadily away, careful not to push Bill back. “Bill. I’m not interested.”

Grabbing Bill’s shoulders, he said “And I’m sorry about your mother.”

“W-what? What the fuck are you saying?”

“It’s going to be okay, Bill.” A hand made successful contact with Bill’s cheek, lowering and settling in the nook between neck and jaw but Bill quickly shied away from it as though it burned. “If you need to take your mind off it, there are other things we can do together, if you like. But this is not something I’m ever going to be interested in with you. Do you understand?”

“Oh my god. Are you—are you doing this to kill the mood? Because it worked. It fucking worked. Real clever, Ford! Real fucking clever.”

“You don’t have to punish yourself by sleeping wi—"

“Okay guy, I’m stopping you there. Not punishing myself, just horny. Big difference.”

“You’re treating me like a fucking kid.” Bill starts laughing, and it’s a wider laugh than Ford’s ever seen before. “I can’t believe you, Ford.” He stepped back, shaking his head but still beaming. “You patronizing son of a bitch.”

“How old are you, Bill?”

Bill shook his head once more, his dimpled smile showing no signs of retreating. “Fuck you. Twenty two.”

“I thought so. What’s your degree in? You’re young for a PI.”

“Criminal Law. Gifted child, you know.”

“Your lack of professionalism makes perfect sense now.” Being a gifted child came with its pros and cons—Ford was very familiar with them.

The sudden change in Bill’s demeanour, voice, face—it’s as though the Bill that Ford is talking to now is an entirely different Bill than from just a few moments ago. Perplexing.

“You know, I have a nephew around the same age as you. Come on, let’s go back to the table."

Bill gave an amused ‘hmph’, still visually baffled at Ford’s unorthodox approach. “My age huh? You should hook me up.”

Ford gave a flighty laugh, and noticed Bill had taken to rubbing the area by his neck that Ford had touched. The boy didn’t appear aware he was doing it so blatantly and Ford said nothing of it.

Once they were both seated, Bill asked, “Do you like chess, Stanford?”

He said yes, and promised to play against Bill. (strip chess was out of the question though)

 Sure, Bill missed his mother. Or rather, what his mother had done for him.  As if he could separate a person and their usefulness – a person was what they offered to him, no more and no less.

Maybe deep down, he did miss and love his mother.

Maybe.

But for now, this was the perfect angle to play.

#billford #stanford pines #Bill Cipher #Gravity Falls #mystuff #hey its the chap where everything began #RIP the people who just found this series u have 100k to get through mates #'this has heavy themes like non con' MAJORITY OF BILLFORD IS TENDER VANILLA #im reviewing these so slowly RIP #the ninth paradigm #TNP chapters