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lazyjellyfish300 · 3 months

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The Woman He Didn't Choose part 2🥀

AU Bachelor!Miguel O'Hara x Fem contestant Reader

Synopsis: the aftermath of the show as you and Miguel move on(sort of). The first part is mostly from his POV then transitions into your experience on the spinoff show- Singles in Paradise where you have a second shot at finding love. Word count: 6k

A/N: Sorry to any Xina fans, I made her OOC and quite mean in this one. I haven't read the comics but from what I've heard of her and seen so far she's one of the canon love interests I like the most. (Even tho I shamelessly self ship with Miguel lolol bc as far as I know ATSV Miguel is separate from comic Miguel Soo until we hear otherwise I'm gonna be delulu.)

Also, I am sorry if any of the couple pairings in this part bother you, it's purely for the purpose of the plot since we're supposed to be on another dating show and I am too lazy to create a bunch of OCs. If you're unfamiliar with the show Bachelor in Paradise, here's a clip to give you an idea. Basically, it's another dating show usually in a tropical location where single people couple up, and new arrivals come in every so often and ask people on dates to shake things up, leading to drama and chaos, and couples can choose to stay together or break up in the end and there's typically an engagement. DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NO RIGHTS TO THE SHOWS THE BACHELOR OR BACHELOR IN PARADISE, ALL RIGHTS TO THE OWNERS. I CHANGED THE NAME OF THE SHOW IN THE STORY.

TW: MINORS DNI, ANGST, RACIAL MICROAGGRESSIONS ABOUT ESL AND FAMILY STRUCTURE(IF THAT'S SENSITIVE FOR YOU PLEASE SKIP ❤️) EMOTIONAL ABUSE, TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ALCOHOL ,DOWNPLAYING MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES, LITTLE BIT OF EMOTIONAL CHEATING ON MIGUEL'S PART, STRUGGLES WITH RELIGION AND FAITH, MENTION BULLYING AND FAMILY STRUGGLES, BREAK-UP, FANTASIZING, JEALOUSY, INSECURITY, CLASSISM, MODERATE SMUT(P IN V BUT IT'S ONLY MENTIONED NOT FULLY DETAILED, THESE ONES ARE DETAILED: DRY HUMPING, HEAVY MAKING OUT, AND FINGERING. ALSO, VOYEURISM-ISH)

(couple pairings are Ben Reilly and Felicia Hardy, Jessica Drew and Noir, George Stacey and MJ, Xina Kwan and Miguel O'Hara, not saying anything else bc spoilers)

Part 1 , Part 3

@miguelhugger2099, @kodo1221,@mimiemie, @laysmt, @cheerrioeoz , @spicydonut25 , @thisistotesnotspam-heart , @thekidscallmebosss , @librababe99 , @ce3stvu @irishbl0ss0mz @nommingonfood , @mauvecherie-writes , @royale-skeleton-key , @famouscattale

I'm so sorry if I forgot you in the tags , just lmk

------

"Miguel!"

Miguel looks up abruptly from a spot on the floor he was zoning out on to look at Xina's slightly annoyed expression. "Hydrangeas or peonies for the guest tables, babe?" she repeats, standing next to the sample table where the wedding planner and florist awaited with anxious eyes.

Miguel blinks rapidly. "It doesn't matter to me, baby...um...." he points to the peony arrangement. "That one."

Xina huffs and turns to look at the planner and florist. "We'll do the hydrangeas."

Miguel smirks and puts his hands in his pockets. "Now, why would you ask me my opinion if you're going to just pick the one you wanted?"

Xina's annoyed look softens subtly but she shakes her head. "It's mostly the bride's day, you know. You're just supposed to show up."

Miguel smiles. "Well, I guess you don't need me to come to the wedding planning dinner tonight? Since you seem to have it all handled?"

Xina groans. "Miguel! You said you'd be there! Have you even read through Exodus like I asked you to?"

Miguel feels his cheeks burn. "Shit...um, no..."

Xina shoots a glare at the wedding planner and the florist and makes a shooing motion with her hand. They both put their heads down and quickly leave the room, giving them privacy. Miguel adjusts his tie, a little bit thrown off by her dismissive actions towards the staff.

Xina sits down at the table and pours herself a glass of ice water. She takes a long sip and sighs, looking at Miguel. "Babe...," she says in a low voice. "You know that getting married in the church is a top priority for me. You know what it means to me..."

Miguel's eyebrows knit together with worry. "I know it is..." he rapidly crosses the room to join her and kneels in front of her, hands on her thighs. She squirms away from him a little and purses her lips, looking down.

"Promise me you'll catch up on your Bible reading by next week and set up an appointment with the missionaries?"

Miguel hesitates for just a fraction of a second in his mind but he answers her, almost a little too quickly, "Of course I will."

Xina manages to give him a little smile, fiddling with the top button on his shirt. "Love you..."

"Love you too."

---

Later that evening, Xina and Miguel are sitting next to each other at a large, circular, oak table across from her parents, eating dinner in their mansion of a home.

Xina's mother makes a face when she takes a bite of the salmon.

"Something wrong with it, hun?" Xina's father asks, dishing himself some potatoes.

Xina's mother spits the bite into a napkin. "Rex!" She barks. An older, balding man with a kind face and chef's uniform enters the dining room. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Salmon's not up to par, I'm afraid." She pushes the dish towards the puzzled chef.

"M' sorry ma'am. Can I make you anything else you'd like instea-"

She cuts him off. "No, my appetite's ruined. That's all, Rex."

The chef looks down in shame at the dish he worked hard on, picking it up with shaky hands and shuffling quickly out of the dining room.

Miguel tightens his grip on his fork and shifts in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. He had not seen this side of Xina's parents. But, it was only their third time meeting, so he did his best to concentrate on who he was really there for, Xina. He took another bite of his roast beef.

Once the old man was out of earshot, Xina's mother tuts her teeth. "Sorry, he's insufferable... I don't know what we'll do with him.... is your roast beef even edible, dear?" She asks Miguel.

Miguel inhales slowly, trying to stifle his outrage on the chef's behalf but Xina's father cuts in.

"So, Miguel," Xina's father says, breaking the silence. "Your folks are planning on driving down on the... 25th, right? For the rehearsal dinner?"

Miguel nods, blotting his lips with a cloth napkin. "Yes, sir."

"Remind me who's coming?" He asks, pouring a generous helping of gravy on his potatoes.

Miguel clears his throat. "My younger brother, Gabe, and my mother-"

"Right, your father's not in your life." Xina's father says, waving his fork.

Miguel's lips fall open and he blinks in disbelief at the abruptness of his statement. I mean, he wasn't lying, per se. Miguel took a sip of his wine, trying to chalk it up to just him not choosing his words carefully, that's all.

"Right, he's not..." Miguel says, straightening in his chair.

Xina's mother pipes up, "You know, that's really such an inspiration on your part. Most people like you with your background end up on the streets, or worse."

Miguel abruptly stops cutting his meat, first looking at Xina's mother, who sat with a smile on her face looking at him, to her husband, who was too occupied with his potatoes to even care, to Xina who was just looking at her lap, clearly a little embarrassed at her comment, but stayed silent.

It got worse. She continues, "... wouldn't even guess that English isn't your first language. You're so well spoken for someone like you."

At that point, Miguel is so uncomfortable that he stands up abruptly, removing his napkin from his lap and setting it next to his wine glass.

"...if you'll excuse me..." he briskly walks out, making sure to close the front door a little extra loudly than he normally would.

Miguel paces in the driveway, taking deep breaths. He exhales a little bit when he sees Xina, but he's met with a different reaction than he was expecting.

"What the hell are you doing?" she hisses, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her stomach.

Miguel's face contorts in confusion, "Babe..that comment your mom made-"

"It's just how she is, Miguel!" Xina says, her annoyance starting to make itself apparent as her face comes into view.

Miguel is now even more confused.

"Just come back inside, please?" Xina looks around, hoping none of the neighbors were witnessing their spat.

Miguel takes a step back, his face hurt. "Xi...what's got into you...?"

"Look, I'm sorry that she said it, okay? But that's just how she is. She doesn't have a filter. Old people are just like that. Now she's upset because you stormed out."

Miguel becomes angry now. "Babe. I understand your parents are from a different generation and your mom has a certain way of... communicating." He sighs. "But what she said was kind of racist. I felt extremely uncomfortable."

Xina looks up at the sky in utter aggravation, "Okay! Fine! You're right! It was totally racist, okay? Happy? I'll talk to her about it later, but I really don't wanna fight anymore about this. We're supposed to walk down the aisle in three and a half weeks. They're just stressed because they're not only hosting my family, they're hosting yours too. I'm stressed, you're stressed. We all are..."

Miguel takes a deep breath. Now he's second guessing himself and his feelings. Did he overreact? The last thing he wanted was for them to dislike him. They were his future in-laws after all. Even though Miguel is hurt she won't defend him and is downplaying his feelings, he decides to shove them aside for her sake. Miguel looks down at her, taking her waist in his hands. She flinches a little and tries to pull back at first, but remains where she's standing when he holds her a little tighter.

"I'm sorry...okay? I'm sorry for being an ass..." Miguel can't help but feel a little odd that he's the one apologizing, but he continues. "Let's go back inside, yeah? Maybe we can go on a date this Friday, just to get away from all this wedding planning stuff."

Xina gives him a half smile and takes his hand in hers. "Deal..."

----

Later that night as Miguel showered in his shared apartment with Xina, he kept replaying their fight over and over again. He didn't know what it was, but lately, Xina was showing a very different side of herself. One that was completely the opposite of the soft spoken sweetheart he fell in love with when the cameras were rolling

He knew that she was religious when he proposed, but had the impression she was more of an Easter and Christmas-only attendee. Her devoutness amped up shortly after their engagement. Her pressure for him accept Jesus and get baptized so they could be married in her church started making him realize he bit off a little more than he could chew.

He felt a phony when she'd ask him to pray over meals and when he'd be called on to read a passage in Sunday School, like he wasn't supposed to be there. His scientific-inclined brain clashed with the idea of a magical being in the sky who would send him to Hell if he touched himself.

Furthermore, Xina demonstrated that she could be quite insensitive to his feelings, and he couldn't unsee the way his future in-laws poorly treated their chef in front of him, and the casual microaggressions they were throwing out about him and his family.

His whole childhood, he was bullied for his accent and for being one of the kids who would get pulled out of class for extra tutoring because he was so far behind everyone else. He was used to being doubted and constantly faced taunts from his classmates and teachers. Conchata was generally the better parent compared to George, but unfortunately that wasn't saying much.

She put immense pressure on Miguel to do well and excel in everything, constantly shifting the goalposts for the near impossible standards she expected him to reach.

But, he worked his ass off and eventually started reading two grade levels above his current grade and took home placing trophies in Math and Science olympiads. It wasn't long before Ivy League schools set their sights on him, and he went on to be the successful geneticist he was today, even buying Conchata a new house despite their volatile relationship.

Throughout it all, he never felt ashamed of where he came from, or his heritage. Nevertheless, it was something he was still was VERY sensitive about and he told Xina about it many times which is why it stung when she couldn't defend him. He even told you about it.

Oh God....you. This was the first time in a while that he finally allowed his mind to dwell on you for longer than a minute. He remembered how receptive you were when he told you. For once, he didn't hear a, "well at least you have it better than most", or a "cheer up, it's not so bad," when he explained his life story. Instead, you listened carefully with a soft look in your eyes and one of your hands resting on top of his, letting him know that the way he felt was completely valid. Something he didn't realize could be so healing when he heard you say that in that moment.

On top of that, your family was so...kind. Your mom even went out of her way to whip up an extra loaf of banana bread just for him when she caught wind that it was his favorite. Your siblings treated him like he was just another member of the family and it was a little unreal how seamlessly he got along with all of them. And, he distinctly remembered how gracious every single one of them were to the restaurant staff when you all went to lunch, with no awkward, demeaning energy like Xina's parents unfortunately demonstrated at dinner tonight. The cameras must have kept them on their best behavior until their true selves could come out once they turned off.

He's about to do something he knows he shouldn't, but he can't resist. He unblocks you on Instagram. (He has only one post on his own account and it's from when he was announced as The Eligible Suitor, the show forced him to create one for publicity's sake, he actually loathes social media in all forms).

And there you were, smiling with your friends at brunch. Another one of you showing off your new dog you rescued from the shelter named Hamilton, and your gorgeous headshot of you in a swimming suit for your debut on Singles in Paradise, where you and other rejected candidates from the show were all going to go at it in a fancy beach resort in Mexico.

Man, you looked good, curves on full display. The smile that he fell in love with was spread across your lovely face. The same one he was responsible for erasing when he broke your heart with less than 10 words on a tranquil beach in Thailand months earlier.

Now, you seemed happier. Trying to carry on with life as though he was never there. Like he didn't haunt your dreams and the sound of his name didn't cause the sting of a thousand burns to scorch through your body. Like you were never the first girl he ever spilled his cum into during that sexy night in the Fairytale Suites, remnants of him imprinted somewhere deep inside you.

Xina climbs into bed next to him and he closes out of Instagram immediately, ashamed that he let his mind wander. Her hand wanders down to his cock and it's not long until he's pounding into her. His mind struggles desperately to fight off the memory of the way your lips parted in ecstasy the whole time she's underneath him.

-----

A few days later

"What the fuck, Miguel?!" Xina screams at him over the phone. Miguel holds the phone away from his ear for a moment, the sound too harsh against his eardrum. She was upset at him this time for his interview on a morning talk show, promoting their upcoming wedding which was supposed to be aired live as the show's long awaited special before Singles in Paradise made its debut.

The host smiled and leaned on her elbow.

"Now, Miguel. Eligible Suitor's number one fan blog is releasing rumors that you only chose Xina because she was the safer option compared to y/n, the season's edgier "bad girl". Is there some truth to that statement, or can you elaborate on that?

Miguel nods slowly, a little bit of panic settling in on the inside, wondering how the hell the fan pages were eerily accurate, despite him not giving away any hints about his internal struggles regarding his engagement to the press that he was aware of.

"Well, as the man chosen to be the Eligible Suitor, there are certain expectations for me and who I ultimately end up with...Xina fit in well with my family. She had all the qualities of the ideal partner. Overall, it just seemed to be a better match..."

"But you're making it sound like if say, y/n for example had all of that, would you have picked her instead?"

Miguel hesitates, turning a little red. He wasn't good at lying. "Well, I mean..."

Awkward silence that lasts a little too long.

He quickly tries to recover but he ends up making it worse, "I mean, what's done is done. There's not really a point in wondering about that, you know....? We-we're very excited for the wedding..."

It wasn't longer than a minute after the show cut to commercial that his phone was ringing off the hook.

"Tell me right now that you love me, and not her, or I swear to God, Miguel I will call off this whole thing!" She says through tears.

Miguel sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. Now he really felt like a jerk.

"I do love you baby..."

Xina is still distraught and doesn't seem to want to listen. "After everything we've been through. I've supported you. I got along with your mom, I got an apartment with you. I even supported you through all that mental health bullshit of yours and you still can't even defend me on live television and say you love me more than that broke piece of trash!"

Miguel freezes. "Hold on, mental health bullshit....?" Miguel really hopes that he didn't just hear what he thought he heard. He does his best to keep his anger at bay but he can feel it rising anyway. "So, all of the internal struggles I trusted you enough to tell you about....my depression which is something that will ALWAYS be a part of me, Xina...you think it's bullshit?"

Xina sputters, "Miguel, no, I didn't mean it like that. It's just...ugh you are just so hard to deal with sometimes, you know? I totally understand and respect the fact that you're going through a lot right now, but so am I. And I can't sit here and coddle you through everything if you don't get help."

Miguel's world comes shattering down. His worst fear that started to creep into the back of his mind ever since about 2 weeks after he proposed to Xina had just been confirmed to be true: she was not at all the woman he thought she was. It was merely an act for the show, and, with the help of the producers and audience, they pushed him towards her simply because she was the woman they wanted to see him with, when his heart truly lied with you the whole time.

And now, you were on a beach in Mexico probably getting courted by all sorts of men who could give you way more than Miguel ever could, while he was left to contend with a broken heart and a cancelled wedding.

He says in a shaky voice. "I was getting help...I told you I started therapy. I trusted you with THE most sensitive parts of me, Xina. And you threw it in my face. By the way, why do you say y/n is broke trash, as you put it, huh?"

"Miguel, stop putting words in my mouth..."

"Nononono...you LITERALLY said it, Xi. Don't start with your gaslighting bullshit on me!" Miguel is raising his voice now. "You called her broke trash. Let me guess: you shoo away our wedding planners, your parents treat your chef like complete shit. She has less money and prospects than you, therefore she's just trash, right? Well, I came from hardly anything, too. Does that make me trash? Huh?"

There's only silence on the other line, then she says, "Miguel, you're different..."

"No. No, Xina. You're different. You're not who I thought you were, and I think we shouldn't be marrying each other." Hot tears spill down Miguel's face and he hangs up his phone. He presses his back against the wall, sliding down until he hides his face in his hands, sobbing on the floor.

--------

A few weeks later at a beach bungalow resort in Mexico

"Welcome back to another season of: Singles in Paradise, I'm your host, Jason Donner and boy is it good to be back!" Jason beams, flashing his pearly whites at the camera.

You hear your cue and you walk out, clad in a white bikini with a pretty purple coverup wrapped around your midriff with the knot resting on your hip, emphasizing the curve, a certain post-break up glow about you that immediately made you hard to resist, a confident twinkle in your eye. You greet Jason with a hug and he holds your hands in his.

"Great to see you. Feelin' nervous?"

You flash a lovely smile at him, playing it up for the cameras. "Just a little bit. But I'm more so excited than nervous."

Jason's lips curve into a smirk. "Anyone down there on that beach you're hoping to run into?"

Miguel.

No, you hadn't really thought about it. Noir was pretty cute. You throw his name out there. "I hope Noir is down there..."

Jason nods, giving your shoulder a good luck squeeze. "Well, go on down there and see for yourself. Good luck! And welcome to paradise once again."

"Thanks, Jas!" You play it up, giving him a little flirty wink as you walk down the stone path and disappear into some trees, making your way to the beach. Necks turn slowly and you feel your heart pound as several pairs of eyes land on you.

Felicia Hardy is standing at the beach side resort bar waiting on her piña colada with a bad case of RBF. But, her snowy eyes melt into an enthusiastic expression when she sees you.

"Noooo way!!! Oh my GOD, you're even hotter in person! Girl! What!!"

You beam, flattered as she pulls you into a hug. Her long, platinum blonde hair hangs loose from a claw clip with the ponytail flowing in waves that brush against her back, a few stray wisps framing her face. She's wearing a dark blue tube top dress which is doing her figure all types of favors, accentuating her goddess-like pear shape. And, she smells totally divine of coconut body spray, evidence of sunbathing apparent in her sunkissed cheeks and tan lines.

"Holy shit, where'd you get your outfit?" She asks, giving her piña colada a sip, shamelessly eyeing you up from head to toe.

You smile, giving her a little twirl. "Girl, $20 at Marshall's for the whole thing. I swear to God."

"No way! Oh my God, I love that place!" Felicia smiles. "I gotta say I'm a huge fan of you. Dude, that pissed me off so fucking bad when Miguel fucked you over like that."

You smile back at her, flattered. You can tell that you definitely want to have Felicia be your beach bestie throughout this whole process. She had been the Eligible Suitorette about 2 seasons ago. Her tenure was one that went down in the show's history, the way she didn't take any shit, and had so many guys falling all over her. But, unfortunately her engagement to Flash Thompson went down in flames when his dumb ass eventually got caught cheating, making fans of the show rally around her even more.

"So, I guess I should give you the low down on who's coupled up with who so far?" She asks.

You nod, familiar with this part of the game. "Yes, please. Oh my God, tell me everything."

You two go sit down on a pair of beach chairs, turning them so your knees are touching each other, leaning in close together for your woman to woman huddle, the cameras zooming in on you both.

"Okay, so first of all, I'm with Ben." She gleams, biting her lip. You follow her gaze and see Ben shirtless, playing volleyball with some of the other men, his baby blues are locked right back on Felicia with his angelic, pretty boy face. He nods and gives you a polite wave hello.

"Girrrrrrllllll...." You smile, turning back to her. "Good for you, honestly, he is SO damn fine, respectfully of course."

Felicia throws her head back and waves you off with a laugh. "Girl, thank you. No worries at all. Yeah, he's uh, he's something else alright." She bites her lip again and looks down. "He treats me so good. It's going really well..."

You give her a warm look, the unmistakable signs of falling head over heels quite recognizable all over her demeanor and the way she's talking about him.

Felicia resumes her report. "Noir is here, but he's got a thing for Jess."

You feel slightly disappointed to hear that but nod, encouraging her to continue.

"Peter B. is here, but it's been kinda awkward. MJ is here too."

"No fucking way?" You sit up, interested. "They really invited both of them here?"

Peter B. and MJ were considered royalty as far as the show goes, with Peter being one of the most beloved suitors of the show's history. However, that quickly became tainted with scandal with the volatile on-and-off nature of his and MJ's relationship. They got engaged at the end of his season, then they were "taking some time apart", then they reunited, but he was seen in the Barbados with some mysterious brunette, but she was also out and about with no engagement ring. BUT, they were spotted in Chicago holding hands and all over each other in a night club just a month ago

"Yeah girl, I have no fucking clue. They're clearly off at the moment , but you can totally tell it's bugging Peter. She's all over George right now."

"Girl noooo. George Stacy?!"

"George, fucking-Stacy, girlll."

George had troubling political opinions and was known for being quite a douche. BUT he was also well over 6 feet tall with ocean eyes, big arms, and money. Well, for you, personally, no way in hell you'd tolerate that.

"MJ hates me though." Felicia warns.

"Wait, why??"

"She thinks I "stole her man" even though Peter was literally throwing himself at me when they were on break number 394 or some shit." Felicia chuckles, shaking her head, stirring her piña colada which is now becoming a watery slush. She pauses for a moment then looks at you. "So, girl, tell me, who did you have your eyes on coming here?"

"Well..." You sigh, the options so far were not promising. "I did think Noir was cute, but he's already with Jess."

"You could still invite him on a date, technically." Felicia points out. "But, I understand. He does reallyyy seem to be into her right now. It would be hard to try and pull him at this point." She drums her fingers. "Girl! Go for Peter. Oh my God you guys would be so cute!"

You blush internally. Peter? You hadn't given him much thought. You turn around, searching for him. He's standing in the ocean a few feet away up to his ankles. He turns to the side a little, and the wind blows open his unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt as he leans down to examine one of the seashells under his feet.

Oh God, he was handsome. 6'2, lean muscles peppered with dark hair that ran across his chest and belly button, and a shadow of stubble on his face gave him a rugged feel, but those chocolate puppy brown eyes made him look so innocent. One of his cheeks had a little dimple that would pop out when he made that signature little smirk of his.

"Fffuck...really, girl?" You murmur, your jaw practically still hanging open at the sight of him. "But I thought you two were a thing?"

Felicia smirks. "Hell no! I rejected him forever ago. You sooo like him! I can tell. Just do it!"

You take a shaky breath. "God...okay, fuck it. I'm gonna go talk to him."

"Good luck!" Felicia calls after you. "Come find me afterwards and tell me everything!!"

You nod and shoot her a smile as you walk away. You bite your lip, your stomach doing all sorts of flips and tricks as you approach Peter. He has sort of a hopeless look on his face as he watches George and MJ from afar cuddled up on their beach towels, George's rough hands rubbing sunscreen into her shoulders as he was practically eye-fucking her.

"Peter!" You call for him. Peter turns, confused at the sound of a woman's voice calling for him, but his pupils go wide when he locks eyes with you for the first time.

"H-Hey!" His lips part a little bit at the sight of your gorgeous hair and friendly smile. His eyes start to land on your figure but he quickly flicks them back upwards to look into yours, not wanting to look like a perv. God, he was so cute. He offers you one of his hands, his voice gentle. "I'm Peter B."

You introduce yourself and he repeats your name back to you. The way he says it is making you scream a little on the inside, his voice is soothing and low. And suddenly you want to know more, so much more about him. And with the way he's gazing down at you, he does too.

You two just stand there in the ocean, chatting as the wind rustles against you both. Soon, the sun is starting to dip further down in the sky and you feel a chill coming on. Peter notices the goosebumps on your arms and wraps his shirt around you, holding you under his arm as you both meander back to the beach.

You squeal when he swoops you into a bridal style carry, butterflies appear in his stomach when he feels your hair brush under his chin, and he's almost tempted to pull you in closer. No, he decides there's plenty of time for that later, if all of this continues to go as flawlessly as it is already. He sets you down on one of the poolside cabanas, spreading a blanket over your legs. You curl up under it, shooting him a smile of appreciation. He looks at you with adoring eyes at how cute you look curled up like that.

"Can I get you something to drink?" He asks gently, the tips of his fingers brushing against your thigh, sending a chill down your spine.

"Um, vodka cranberry, please." You say sweetly. Peter gives you his signature smirk, the little dimple in his cheek driving you wild. His fingers make full contact with your thigh this time, stealing the breath from your lungs.

"Coming right up..." he's off to get you your drink, leaving you internally screaming by the pool.

---

Jason is leaning against a palm tree, silently monitoring the scene of flirtatious couples below when a tall dark figure approaches him. The camera stays on Jason and captures the look of shock across his face.

"Well, well, WELL! Look who it is, great to see you man!"

The man's face isn't shown, and it appears his response is being muted off mic, Jason's voice is the only audible one, the camera focusing on his reactions with the mystery guest,

"Wow...I'm so sorry to hear that man...yeah, yeah she's here. And you're sure about this.....? Alright, well here's your date card, feel free to use it whenever you wish. Good luck down there man."

------

You and Peter are laughing together by the pool, the alcohol slowly starting to weave its way into your banter. The daybed you're sharing is just a smidge too small, forcing your thigh to touch his as you squish on it together, bodies laying side by side. When you ask him a question, you subtly push yours a little closer into his. Peter seems to notice your increasing touch, his train of thought stalling for just one minute, before he turns pink and apologizes. "Sorry, must be the alcohol," he mumbles cutely, looking sheepishly at you.

"Yeah, the alcohol..." you tease, your pointer finger traces his sternum. His breath hitches and he's looking at you with wet lips, his eyes come to rest on your breasts that are squished so deliciously together.

You're looking back at him too, letting your eyes rake over his body up and down, admiring how good he looks and how the faded blue lights from the pool are casting a sensual shadow over his form, wondering how it would look if it were in the darkness of your bedroom instead.

Peter clears his throat. The nervousness catching up to him, and he turns his head, gazing at the shimmering water. "Sorry..." he lets out a breathy chuckle, then turns back to you. "I haven't connected this quickly with someone ever since...well I mean, since my last relationship which ended badly..... As I'm sure you're well aware of thanks to the press."

You hum, your finger now tracing little circles on his shoulder, making him tremble slightly. "Yeah....I heard. I'm kind of in the same boat."

You take a deep sigh. God, just when you thought you were getting over him, Miguel pulls you right back in. Being with Peter right now feels foreign, strange. You can't put a finger on it. You notice that those decadent brown eyes are already fixed on you, and you stare back, your voice oozing a hint of desire as you softly tell him,

"But, I wouldn't mind if I...spent some more time getting to know you."

Peter exhales softly, you detect the sweetness of the liquor on his breath, the wetness that the rim of his glass left behind is shiny on his bottom lip, and all you want to do is taste.

Peter slowly smirks back, his fingers coming to pull under your chin, bringing your face closer to his.

"I wouldn't mind either..." lust codes his voice now. But, before he goes in to kiss you, his eyes soften a little bit as he drinks in your features. "You're very beautiful..."

You feel the heat rising in your body, you drape one of your legs around him, resting your knee on his hip. "Thank you..."

Peter lets out a soft groan, his hand immediately comes to grip your thigh, encouraging you to press your body against his, and he traps your lips in his with a fiery kiss.

The stubble from his face is a little scratchy, but you don't mind. His tongue is sweet from the wine he was drinking, and you can't get enough. His hands travel a little higher on your thighs and you gasp into his mouth as he pulls you on top of him so you're straddling him with one knee on either side of his waist.

"C'mere..." he purrs.

You lean in closer to him, pressing your forehead against his to try and make your moans more quiet as he grinds your pussy against the bulge in his swim trunks, the soft fabric of your bikini bottoms separating you. The friction is delicious and you reward him with a neverending chorus of his name.

"Peter...."

Peter gives a loud groan, his grip on your hips tightens, this time bucking his hips under your spread pussy, letting you ride the outline of his cock.

"Ffuck....Peter, baby...." you whine.

"Mmm yeah, baby?" Peter lands a sharp spank on your ass in response, making you curse under your breath again. "You like what I'm doing to you?"

"Yes baby, I love it." You bite your lip, closing your eyes. "What if someone sees us, baby?"

"Let em watch.." Peter moans.

"Oh God...don't stop, please." Your moans rise in pitch.

"Fffuck....." Peter breaths out, his hands coming up to grip your breasts while you ride him. "I won't baby...fuck..." The sensation causes him to close his eyes as well. "You feel too good to stop."

You lean over, your lips crashing greedily against his, both of your tongues dancing in each other's mouths, while you grind together. His hands can't get enough and he finally starts to curl two fingers inside your pussy which elicits a sharp cry of passion, Peter playfully shushing you as he kisses your nose.

-----

The rose Miguel is holding falls onto the sand below as he watches you and Peter heavily making out, now engaged in mild foreplay and you might as well start fucking at any moment now due to how hot and heavy the scene is.

It's almost a race with how quickly the jealousy, nausea, and rage rises in Miguel's body, filling him to the brim. He stands there, jaw and shoulders tense. His cock twitches a little at your whines but seethes at the sight of another man's hands all over you. He finally rips himself away, not able to withstand it any longer.

Noir and Jess look at him with raised eyebrows as he sits at the beachside bar after downing 3 shots of tequila back to back. He just sits there, eyes glazed over at the empty shot glasses in front of him for several moments until he leans forward, laying his head in his arms with his eyes closed.

----

To be continued...

#miguel o'hara #miguel atsv #miguel ohara #miguel x reader #spotify #miguel o'hara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara smut #miguel ohara smut #miguel o'hara angst #miguel ohara angst #miguel x fem!reader #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #miguel ohara x fem!reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel ohara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara imagine #Spotify

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f1shart · 5 months

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normaltown pt 2 also HOW HAS IT ALREADY BEEN 1 YEAR

IT HAS BEEN. SO LONG SINCE I LAST DREW THESE TWO. and it's barely even them tbh WHATEVER

i had the brilliant idea to combine the personality swaps with my anniversary post, so bam. the ship that got me playing the sims 2 in the first place and instead here i am frolicking the fields with tanmeric and tycutio every single day 😭 sighhhh i have tarnished their name, their reputation... how will they ever recover... i'm sorry pasnerv nervscal pavorious anxious-curiosity pascal x nervous i love you i love you

neways. it's been a rocky 2023 irl, but on here everyone was literally so damn kind. there was such COOL inspiring art i saw (i literally would not have improved as much as i did without it) and i ended up making the bestest buds ever and met other awesome people too ^_^!! so thank you to everyone in this gay ass fandom 💝💘💗

here's the og art btw OMG DON'T LOOK!!!!!! 🤢🤢😬😓

who gave this old man the camera smh

HE'S SO 😞😞💓💓💓💓

#ts2 fanart #<- throwback to when i used to tag my art this. i became so lazy 🥱#nervous subject #pascal curious #tycho curious #strangetown #shart #sims 2 #i don't think it's really registered in my mind that it's ACTUALLY BEEN A YEAR. THAT'S INSANE #i remember checking my phone a while after posting my og fanart and seeing those first 4 notifications... legendary feeling #coming from twitter where 0 people gave a SHIT and it was so isolating 😢 (plus there barely was/is a sims 2 fandom there anyway)#just realized nerv's left arm is in the exact same position in both pieces #art imitates art i guess

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kandavers · 9 months

Text

Doodle Dump!

Hello Kandavers Tumblr Nation! If you can't already tell, I've been absolutely BRAINROTTING over www-related content these past few days HEHE

I've been drawing a lot of his interactions with my Beloved Mutuals' OCs and I thought I'd post it here as a mass post because they're Too Silly and Goofy (and Doodly) AND I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO RAMBLE ABOUT IT PLEASE AND THANK YOU

(Warning! Some of them are mmmildlyyyy suggestive hehe) (As a Treat!)

Characters heads up: Will Wayward by Me! Starii by @dianacoreexe Valentine Hart by @chronnellian Mimix by @sleepyzuku Mori Moonlet by @kawaiialeisha

Here's Mimix, Will and Mori jamming together in their MWM Band (Outfits subject to change HAHA we never really got that far with the Designs save for Mimix (common sleepyzuku slay)):

(Adding a Keep Reading button so that the post won't be too Long!!)

And the slicked back hair WWW I drew just for the occasion:

I KNOW I HAVENT OFFICIALLY POSTED A PROPER WWW X MIMIX SHIP POST BUT I've mentioned before WWW and Mimix are in a relationship, and we have this running joke that Mori would occasionally be a third wheel in their relationship it's HILARIOUS !!!

(cw suggestive:)

And shy Mimix got me so weak HAHA:

It's so cute that Mimix can't handle intimacy that well, so Will always helps him take the initative aaa,,, DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY I'VE GOT BRAINWORMS

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"Out of everyone in this entire universe" (The first panel is by Diana themselves for context LMAO)

See, we both agreed that Will and Starii would be Adopted siblings! There's a little bit of lore to it, which is Starii is an Alien whose space ship crashed onto Earth when she was Smaller, and Will, being the Space Nerd (tm) he is, he offered to let her Stay with him while he fixed her ship! (And for context, Winnie is Will's biological sister that I have not designed nor planned yet !)

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This one is just so funny to me HAHAHA

(cw: suggestive)

But despite the erm... Physical Admiration 💀 Will has for Valentine, I offer you SOFT and WHOLESOME doodles and they make me SO VERY WEAK I AM SO SOFT FOR THEM ARGHHHH

And bonus kissy,,,,

When they say "I love you" while affectionately gazing at each other like that... ouuuu I think I will Pass Out /pos

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Bonus cute details:

Will used to have just 1 earring pierced on his Left Ear (if I recall correctly 💀 hashtag bad OC creator) but he went to get the other one pierced with Mimix

After meeting Starii, she gave him one of her earrings, so his Right Ear would always have a star-shaped earring! (Don't worry about consistency i literally forget all the time too LOL)

He has one of those succubus-looking tattoos on his tummy 😳😳 Solely because I think it's cute and ZESTY and it has 0 things to do with his character but thats okay. <3

And honestly shout out to All These Artists for feeding my delusions and brainrots at 2-3am even, with their ideas and headcanons too, they got me Giggling and Kicking my Feet and Everything WAAA

I REALLY LOVE HOW I AM ABLE TO CREATE THESE COOL AND MUSHY OC INTERACTIONS WITH THEM <3333 Honestly I love my mutuals so much they're so Amazing hehe

That's the Doodle Dump for Now! Thank you for reading this far and listening to my Deranged Rambles about them !

And last but not least, go follow my Mooties if You havent already 🫵🫵💥‼️‼️ I love You!!! /p

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redmelawashere · 3 months

Text

Alright I got woken up at like 3 AM with FORBIDDEN MEMORIES™️ and remember that MelloNear literally had a fandom video game. What other fucking fandom has SHIPPING VIDEO GAMES.

I think it just hit me since recently I've been thinking a lot about how fandom spaces shift over time (especially as we have re-boots, live-actions, or other media that helps reinvigorate fandoms like currently with A:TLA) and honestly, MelloNear has had so many ups and downs and like…as someone who was in this fandom WAY too young and grew up with it I want to see how many people on tumblr, who were there in ye olden wild west days, remember the stuff I do and also for those of you who weren’t around back then but are big now, here’s the insane history that I remember:

1 - LiveJournal (LJ) and the LOST FICS LJ was initially one of the better places to find fics – but a lot of authors jumped ship when FF.NET started to take over and for other reasons that were before my time. Finding fics on LJ that haven’t been deleted was/is hard and their UI is trash I never could get a grasp on it. (The irony of FF.NET now being dead and people jumping ship to AO3 and Tumblr lol.) Astyzia_ii used to write really fucking good MelloNear stuff there. She was one of the first people I ever read that had insanely good Near characterization. Unfortunately, her account no longer exists. But some of the things she wrote were things like:

Near being a total brat (at the time, no one else was really writing Near like that. Including Near lying to Mello about being assaulted by other children at Whammy's, just generally putting him in his place, etc.)

Mello painting Near’s nails black (then this trope just went off on FF.NET and everyone was writing fics like that - I really like when stuff like this comes out of fandom)

Mello finding out that Near, despite being in love with him, thought Mello was so unapproachable he had sex with someone else (implied Giovanni) and Mello is basically confronting Near about it at a time when Near was treated as a prudish virgin in fandom

Finding each other in the apocalypse AU

Mello and Near being like high school sweethearts (salthearts?) and Mello wanting to go to a University in the BIG CITY but would ignore the offer if it meant staying with Near (and super tragic fic too. They pull over on a freeway after an argument about it and then Near just straight up gets hit by a car after pushing Mello out of the way 💀 and you don't know if Near survived)

And obviously, many more really creative AUs

2 - KurosakiAkane and VIDEO GAMES Akane, as Spanish artist and the original “cursed moons” drew some of the most viral and prolific MelloXNear doujinshis and EVEN MADE FANDOM VIDEO GAMES. Like I can’t believe I forgot about this. Akane literally made fandom yaoi video games and they were SO GOOD. What other fandom has shipping video games you’d think it’d be the norm I can barley wrap my head around it

Pretty sure her website (www.cursedmoons.com) is down so you can’t download them directly from there or see her full doujinshis anymore

Her DeviantArt account is still live so you can see some stills and teasers from her doujinshis.

Her LJ account is also still live but more so as an archive.

Her first game “D.nD Poisoned” can be downloaded here if you scroll to the bottom (but I haven’t checked the link so be wary…) but it was basically taking place during Whammy’s days, and yes, Mello has a knife cause he’s unhinged since those were just the times ig.

“D.nD Infection” was her second, unfinished game, which would have been when they were mid-Kira investigation post Mello blowing up the base. I found a website that hosts the short demo she released.

Her games literally inspired a new wave of AUs for the fandom in the fic department and she was just a titan who kept everyone together on all corners of the internet. When she decided to leave the fandom in like 2011 after 2010’s great FF.NET purge of M rated fics it kind of felt like the beginning of the end.

3 - Doujinshis (fandom comics) Most doujinshi artists had their own websites and MANY were Japanese / Chinese translated into English (pretty sure Akane was the first one to create them exclusively in English...). There are so many archived on YouTube that I used to watch all the time. You can even still find some of Akane’s doujinshi’s on Youtube like:

January

Lost Innocence

The Last Birthday

Game Over

Chocolate Kiss

One of the ones that was most impactful on me was this one that I cannot remember the name of, and it wasn't by Akane, but basically Mello, freshly 16 trying to stay alive, resorts to prostitution, and the big revealer at the end is he’s just kind of left there, alone, opens up his hand and there’s a little white puzzle piece he stole from Near and pretty sure the last line was something along the lines of “no one else” and I just 😭

4 - Lost Art and the Famous Water Colours

A lot of that water-colour MN art you see floating around was from, if I'm not mistaken, a Chinese MelloNear artist and their website I think was just "w" or something and she had created 100s of MN art.

5 - ForbiddenSoul562 and FF.NET Beef and Fan Fic Rap Battles

Soul was one of the BIGGEST creators on FF.NET (and luckily, she’s still active both on FF.Net and here on tumblr!) I remember when she had like a fic battle with another creator FragilePuzzle (who is also on tumblr and active – but they post M-ll-M-tt stuff now and pretty sure they deleted all their MelloNear fics... Their active handle on tumblr is mizzmellos I think? Anyways, they’ve also switched from writing to art and its really good!) And there was like a whole “vote who you think wrote the better fic” and it was like Clash of the Titans. Shame that Fragile, as they used to go by, doesn’t like MN anymore since they also wrote a lot of really good stuff. When Fragile stopped posting and Soul went on an extended hiatus that also felt like another beginning of the end loooooool (pretty sure Soul and Mzz had an interaction here on tumblr reminding each other of each other and I had so much social anxiety I was like headbanging watching this interaction go down and if I'm remembering correctly it started cordial but didn't really end well but I could be 100% misremembering the tone of the interaction but if you dig through Soul's tumblr you can probably find it or mzzs for that matter.) 6 - Kids Writing Dark Tropes

I feel like I should make another post and just…describe how Mello and Near were portrayed individually and in a relationship during that time since it was honestly insane. Very toxic, very star-crossed lovers who revolve around each other but are devastating together and are healthier a part, and so much more. I’m much happier with where their characterization and how the fandom has evolved currently from those times lol. But I think over the years I’ve also realized how fucking young all of us were (I was literally like…13 consuming all this media which retroactively, I’m like YIKES 18+ is 18+ for a reason and I even realized some of my favourite authors / creators who I thought were way older than me or like “cool teenagers” were also close to my age and not that much older so no wonder we were all writing crazy unstable relationship shit like that - which can be fun! - but this was literally all. the. time.).

Honestly that’s all I can remember for now but what a wild ride. I know FF.NET is like, a super hard platform to use now (and just gets worse every day 🙃) but if anyone wants some MN fic recs from the vault lmk and I’ll make a post about it.

-Redmela

#redmela screams #redmela rants #death note #mn #mellonear #meronia #cursed moons #like shit I wish Akane could have at least finished Infection I can't even begin to grasp the talent of writing/scripting/drawing/codding #ALL BY YOURSELF #FOR FREE #FOR THE FANDOM AND THE PEPOLE #mEANWHILE I have like 50 WIPs for multiple fandoms byeeeeeee #Mello | Mihael Keehl #Near | Nate River #D.nD Poisoned #D.nD Infection #Fandom video games #fandom culture #fandom history

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marihem · 1 month

Note

Let me be the one to ask. How did you come up with this Queerplatonic Frans concept? What drew you into making this?

Aww thank you for asking such a delicious question, pal! Hope you're ready to listen to my 1 am rambles XD

Alright so, to be completely honest...I actually don't truly know how Romance works to execute it myself 😬

Haha yup, sadly, the concept of Romance and Romantic Attraction didn't naturally come to me my whole life and I had a hard time understanding them. (Skill issue, amiright?) So I learned about them through fiction. And even then, my understanding of Romance was a little bit different from what it's usually is (spoiler: it wasn't actually Romance, the word I needed was "Queerplatonic").

I've drawn ship arts before I started drawing Frans and let me tell you, almost all of them were 2 characters just standing next to each other, no hugs, no kisses. Maybe they'll look at each other with fondness. And I was like "hell yeah, I've achieved Romance 😌" pfft.

My 2020 Frans works were where my ship art skills got improved. But you can still see that they aren't explicitly romantic (like, the first time I drew a Frans forehead kiss was for a request). Whatever, I was drawing stuffs about my fav lil guys and I was happy... and yet a tiny part of me wasn't feeling it, like it felt...odd to call them romantic. All these shippy art and I still felt uncomfortable to draw something extremely Romantic. (...this kinda sounds similar to a comphet kind of situation, you get what I'm saying?)

2 years later, I learned about the term "queerplatonic" and just like that, everything made sense =o Now THAT'S the kind of relationship I've been thinking about all these years and it felt magical. Suddenly, with this new knowledge, drawing shippy art felt more comfortable for me, cozy even. Cuz now, the "romance" I'm making is like something a little special for me.

And then I thought "what if I...👀" I grabbed Frisk and Sans like figurines and used them to make my own little ideas of a queerplatonic relationship as they were the perfect materials to work with for me.

I've actually been busying myself with thinking up ideas for them a year before I revealed it to my mutuals, even long before I revealed it publicly 😅

Still, my Roommate Banter AU Frans is still classic romantic. I've only been making funny lil contents of them but I swear! They're secretly crushing on each other, there's romance underneath! I just suck at Romance 😭

So yeah, TL:DR, I don't completely understand romance so I did what I felt comfortable and did actually get the most, approach a ship with a queerplatonic lens.

Tho I'm still learning about Romance cuz there're other ships I'd love to draw shippy art for XD

Anyways, yeah thank you to anyone who read all of this and thank you dear anon for indulging me with your ask <3 Have a lovely day/night ^^

#asks #thank you for the ask!#frans #ah it felt so good to talk about this #even if it looks like i'm just talking into the void #but we all know that void is full of many wonderful things hehe #also i'm so tired and i should sleep but i couldn't so here i am #it's past 2 am by the time i'm done typing cuz i kept getting distracted #again thank you if you read all of this including the tags #imma pass out now #good nighttt #i hope there aren't typos and grammar mistakes above #aroace struggles amirite?#qpr frans

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thejediscrolls · 1 year

Text

You Drew Stars

Tech x Jedi reader

Unrequited love is a real bantha

Angst - Slowburn - Fluff

Pt 2 of You Drew Stars

“Hm… Well hello brown eyes.”

That one line had the blood in my body boiling as I repeated it over and over in my head.

“Brown eyes…” I scoffed as I helped Echo load some supplies, “That is the most ridiculous nickname I have ever heard.”

And yet so effective…

“Don’t look too much into it General.” Echo dismissed my pacing as I walked up and down the ramp.

“How can I not?” I sighed at the obvious attraction the two have between each other, “He adjusted his glasses!”

“Okay?” Echo looked at his General with confusion trying to figure her out.

“He adjusts his glasses all the time.” Hunter mused as he walked up the ramp, “Wrap it up you two, it’s time to move.”

“Not like that.” I muttered as I followed behind the two.

The mission was more or less successful given Phee’s constant flirting. Tech didn’t doing anything to dismiss her, but it’s not like he didn’t have the right too. He’s a free man after all.

Things seemed to get worse after a treasure mission of hers. One that she almost had us all killed mind you, but she was funny and helped when she was needed…

“Do you have an interest in Phee?” I remember asking him one night.

“No, of course not.” He said it so easily and I wondered then if he meant it.

After that, Phee began to show up constantly always taking up his attention when she was in the room. More often then not, I would have to leave the bar before I brought it crumbling down.

Even Omega seemed to take a liking towards her and our usual game of Sabaac and story telling turned to me sitting at a back table as she focused all of her attention on Phee’s pirating adventure.

Makes sense since my stories were usually grim with so much loss…

I still tried to get my affections towards Tech across. I would compliment him more.

“You look nice today.”

“I think you are really kind Tech, you care a lot about others… I just hope you know I care a lot about you too.”

“I like spending time with you the most.”

Everything passed by him like my words were made of air.

“Thank you.”

“I’m glad that at least you think so. If you could so kindly tell my brothers that, it would be highly appreciated.”

“I… Interesting.”

Simple thank you’s and easy replies, moving past it as if it never happened.

I know my eratic nerves seemed surprising to the others as I began to take more note in my appearance or in the way I carried myself.

Everything felt so forced now that I was no longer a Jedi. I couldn’t look to my master Secura for wisdom about what it was like to love a clone or Yoda’s wise words could no longer comfort me.

I bet if master Obi wan were here right now he would tell me that a Jedi should not hold such a strong connection to someone for it would lead to weakness and to the dark side… But look where love got master Skywalker, he was married to a senator… Or were… May they rest in peace.

I missed Ahsoka the most for our friendship was stronger than any order. Sometimes Hunter reminds me of her, kind, strong, and always pushing me to go after my dreams. I hope she made it out of order 66 just like I had.

Hope… it seems that’s all I can do nowadays.

To put it simply I had trouble expressing my feelings so freely and to have to hide who I really am to the world forever… Everything felt unbalanced.

It just seemed like my time was running thin with Tech yet those moments when it was just the two of us… Together on the marauder, going over mindless upgrades that the ship would need. It make seem dumb to the others, but for me… Everything felt right like it was meant to be.

Despite the fears slowly making a home in my heart, I focused on the good of the force, letting it guide me through my emotions.

I decided the best course of action was to do small things that would make him happy. It was what I remember Commander Bly would do for Master Secura and vice versa. A warm feeling filled my heart remembering how much they loved and protected one another. If only Order 66 didn’t happen then maybe they would be married somewhere by now.

I would make sure the ship was in order, he would always have home cooked meals, Omega was taken care of and that his brothers wouldn’t pester him so much.

I liked making recipes that were popular from my home world the most. The ones I remember my mother making and of course made enough for the rest of our little family or else they would be heartbroken. But I would always make sure Tech would eat instead of fixing something like right now for instance.

I placed one of my hands on my hips as I held a bowl of folio herb stew in my other hand, “Tech I swear if you don’t eat, I’m going to erase all the data you have on your holopad.”

“Mock threats isn’t going to stop me from finishing this task woman.” He commented and proceeded to tighten another bolt on the control panel.

“Fine.” I huffed as I sat beside him, where he was lying under the control panel.

I took a spoon full of stew, blowing on it before pressing it to his lips, “Open.” I said as his eyes widened in surprise.

He cautiously took a bite as if it were made of poison. He stared at me as he chewed, a low hum emoting from him at the taste.

I smiled back at him as I took spoon back to get more, “You work. I’ll feed you. Or else I’ll use the force and make you stop working.” I teased.

“You wouldn’t.” He squinted at me.

I raised a brow at him, “You wanna bet racer boy?”

“Yes General.” He replied with a playful roll of his eyes.

Our night ended up in laughs, the empty bowl paced off to the side and the two of us resting against a wall. Sleep was the furthest thing from our minds as we told stories about the good old days.

The next morning, a package that I have been waiting four days for arrived, placed in my hands by Echo. I was quick to thank the sec trooper before rushing to my room to wrap the small gift.

“You sure he said this was the part he needed for the transmitter?” I asked Hunter one last time as we stood outside of Sid’s cantina.

I held the gift nervously in my hand. Hunters small smirk didn’t help my nerves as he nodded his head.

“I’m sure. He told me himself if that helps.” Hunter answered with a wave of his hand.

“It doesn’t.” I spoke, my voice taking a solemn tone before I glanced back up at him, “I’m sorry for asking again. Usually he tells me these things. Thank you… For letting me know.” I said gratefully.

“Of course, I’m rooting for you General.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, “You deserve to be happy to and so does he.” He said before heading off, “Let me know how it goes.”

I smiled a bit when I entered the cantina to find Tech sitting at the bar alone. Now’s the perfect chance.

“Hey.” I greeted as I placed the small present on the bar counter beside him, “I got you something.”

“You did?” Tech’s eyebrow raised in surprise, “You know, this sudden display of gifts is interesting. What for?”

“Because…” I chuckled nervously, “You deserve something as simple as a gift and… You deserve so much more…”

“Well… Thank you.” He nodded and his eyes went back to the gift, opening it like a kid during Winters Day.

“Tech, there’s actually some thing I’ve been wanting to tell you. For a while actually.” I rubbed my arm nervously, “It was hard before because of the council and specific codes a Jedi must follow but now…”

His eyes widened as he pulled the part out of the box, “This is… I don’t remember telling you about this.”

“You didn’t, ah Hunter did actually. That’s the part he said you were looking for.” I squeaked out as my cheeks tinted pink, “It took a bit to find, but I asked around and heard it was at a shop off world so I had it shipped in.” I explained as he inspected the part closely.

“That was… Kind of you.” His voice trailed off as if he was unsure of how to say what he had to next, “But I’m afraid I have already obtained this part.”

“You did?” My brows furrowed in confusion, “But how?”

“I got it for him.” Phee stated as she walked in.

I watched at she took to his side like a loth cat. Tech accepting her presence as easy as the sky accepts the sun.

I felt my heart drop at the sight knowing that once again I was too late, “Oh…”

“Yes.” Tech nodded, his body shifting towards the pirate.

I cursed myself at not getting it fast enough. For not telling him how I felt… If only he would have just listened. I was a Jedi and yet I was being such a coward.

I put a smile on my face to hide my jealousy, “I’ll just put in the supply bin. You know- Just in case we need it for the ship or something else. I- yeah.”

“Great.” Phee shrugged before turning her attention to Tech, “What are you up to today brown eyes?”

I quickly grabbed the part and rushed out of the cantina from sheer embarrassment.

How did she find out? Did Tech tell her instead of me? He always told me the ins and outs of his experiments. Why did he tell her…

My brows furrowed as I stopped walking.

Why did he tell her?

“What’s wrong?” Echo asked as soon as I stepped off the ramp and onto the marauder, “You look… Angrh and unsettled. Is everything alright?”

“I am a Jedi, an embodiment of light and good and peace and calm… I’m calm! I’m…” I had to hold my breath to keep my breathing in control, but it did nothing to help.

“You don’t look good General.” Echo insisted, “Maybe Tech should-”

Just hearing his name triggered such a rage in me that before Echo could finish a crate went flying out of the ship.

“Nothing is wrong!” I seethed as I stormed towards the back of the ship and shoving the part into one of the junk bins.

“I see it didn’t go well then.” Hunter stated as he stepped into the small space.

“I…” I gripped the shelving trying to gain control of my emotions, “I was going to tell him.”

It seems lately these days, I’ve been slipping. My heart curling into the dark and I had to climb endlessly to keep myself from falling.

“He told Phee about his project and he didn’t even tell me. He always tells me and… And I had to hear about it from you. But what hurts the most is she got him the part and it was like our thing became there thing.” I sniffed, “He barely acknowledges me when she walks in the room and now she’s just always around and...” I squeezed my eyes shut, “I don’t think I have a chance Hunter.”

“Hey…” He stepped forward and pulled me into a hug, one that he would give Omega when she was feeling down, “Don’t think like that. She’s just new and they’re becoming friends which frankly he needs more of.” He chuckled, “Listen to me and just ask him out to dinner. You need to tell him you love him before it consumes you.”

“That is not the Jedi way.” I murmured jokingly.

“You’re not a Jedi anymore.” He spoke my earlier words back at me.

I sighed, “You’re right.” I pushed him away with a smile, “I should go apologize to Echo.”

“You did give him a start.” Hunter laughed, “It’s been a while since you used the force. I think you sent him back to the clone war days.”

I ran my hand over my face, “Oh poor Echo… I feel so bad now.” I sighed, “Where’s Omega by the way? I promised to take her out shopping.”

“She’s with Wrecker, but she should be back soon.” He said.

I nodded as we walked to the ramp of the ship, “Hey Echo!” I called out to him, “I’m sorry about earlier…”

Echo simply shook his head with a soft smile on his lips, “Don’t worry about it.”

There was only one thing was on my mind as I helped Echo with the rest of his tasks.

Tonight when Tech returns… I’ll ask him out on a date before I end up throwing something more than a crate.

Taglist

@brynhildrmimi @that-one-potato-girl @arctrooper69

#star wars #star wars imagine #starwars #clone wars #bad batch #bad batch imagine #bad batch x reader #star wars x reader #tech #tech angst #tech x you #bad batch tech #tech x y/n #tech x reader #tech x phee #clone trooper tech #starwars imagines #bad batch angst

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mytheoristavenue · 9 months

Text

GOTG Rocket x Reader - The Ache

Summary: You and Rocket have never gotten along, but your mutual hate will never stop the ache in your bellies.

Warnings: unrealized love, angst, romanticization of toxic dynamics, romantic/sexual feelings without action, longing, double-sided, takes place between vol. 2 and infinity war, reptilian!alien!reader

Escalation. Everything had to escalate, every tiny disagreement. But that's to be expected when your family consists of a lizard, a bug, a sapling, a rodent, three assassins, and a celestial demi-god. Gamora had called it growing pains, but at this point, you weren't sure anymore. Quill had suggested that everyone was just cramped in the ship and grumpy because of it, but maybe he just wasn't ready to accept the fact none of you actually liked eachother.

Actually, that wasn't necessarily true. You liked some of your teammates, Mantis and Groot, for example. Drax and Gamora were also good company, and Quill introduced you to many of your favorite songs. Occasionally, you could even squeeze engaging conversations out of Nebula. That only left...Rocket.

-----

"Get outta here," he grumbled, dropping spare parts at his feet and disregarding you immediately upon entering your shared living space. You afforded him a sideways glare and scoffed, not bothering to look up from the sappy romance novel you were taking in.

"You can't just kick me out, Rocket, this is my room too." You chided from your bottom bunk, inches from his back. If you were willing to pay him any mind, you would've seen his fur stand up on end at your response.

"Yeah well, it was my room first and I need space to work. You can read that stupid chicklit anywhere ya want, but unless you wanna go into the next mission with a busted blaster, you better get." He barked, hunching over on the floor, going to work.

"I told you I don't need your help fixing it. I'm taking it to a professional when we land, asshole. Now give it back." You growled, sitting up and slamming the paperback down on the bed.

"No," he said frankly. "It's my job to fix shit when it breaks, so I'm fixing it. And for your information, I am a professional. Now get lost."

"Rocket, give me back my blaster, I don't want you working on it!" you protested, sharply standing up and narrowly missing his bunk with your head. "If you don't give it back, I'm telling Quill that you've been going through my stuff again!" It wouldn't have been a lie, either. You knew full and well that that gun was in your personal trunk earlier in the day. There was no way he'd 'just found it'.

Rocket went rigid, offended, and dropped the pieces in his hands. "Why don't you want me working on it? I made the damn thing in the first place, why wouldn't I be qualified to fix it, your highness?"

"Oh, don't give me that! You think I haven't noticed how it's only my stuff that breaks? You'll make the same thing for everyone, but somehow the one I get breaks every other week!" You huffed, fists clenched and eyes narrowed.

Finally, Rocket turned back to look at you, his nose nearly grazing your thigh in the sardine tin you called a bedroom. Rabid coal eyes bored into you as he stared you down, bearing teeth and growling. "And just what are ya implyin' there, princess?"

His intimidation tactics only triggered your own instinctual aggression, making your scaly tail sway as a warning, your lip curling up and revealing a jagged and carnivorous grin. "You're sabotaging my weapons and I know it."

"Take it back," he warned. "Now."

"No," you tested, leaning down closer to him. With shoulders bouncing with labored breath, he tried to calm himself to no avail. Suddenly, before you could register what had happened, you brought your hand to your burning cheek. Warm, red blood dressed your fingertips as you drew them back to observe them. In the background of your vision, Rocket shrunk against the wall, chest heaving.

"I-I'm sorry..." he whispered, barely audibly. "I-I didn't mean to-"

"Y-You scratched me...?" the hurt in your voice melted his resolve even further as you pressed your back to the bunks in an effort to be even centimeters further from him. Finally, you'd gained enough courage to bolt out of the door he was partially blocking, bounding over him like spooked prey. He watched you disappear within the depths of the ship, sobbing, likely to go tattle on him.

Rocket slid to the floor, holding his head in his hands. He didn't like hurting people, at least not ones that weren't hurting him first. But you'd hurt his feelings, right? He wracked his brain trying to justify how poorly he always treated you.

You were the thorn in Rocket's side, a headache that refused to subside. You got stuck in his fur and crept under his skin like an infection. He had become sickly addicted to yelling at you and eagerly awaited altercations with you. He was just excited to put you in your place, he'd tell himself. Winning arguments with you would get him so incredibly high, and losing them, incredibly low, all he could do to return to neutrality was relieve himself.

But he hated you, right? Rocket hated you so much, that sometimes, he'd listen to you snore from above when he couldn't sleep. Only to have something to bully you for the next day, of course.

-----

You stared at your disfigured face in the mirror, standing in the cubical of a bathroom that you all shared. Lightly, you drug your fingers over the quartet of shallow cuts. Sometimes you'd squeeze your cheek, just to watch a sparse dots of red surface. You were still in shock, unable to believe he'd actually tried to harm you.

Maybe you'd pushed him too far, maybe he really did hate you. Maybe you really did hate him. What you couldn't question, however, was the way your tummy churned at the sight and sensation. You couldn't possibly be aroused from this? God, you were sick.

-----

You lay flat on your back, back in your bunk with Rocket in the same position above, with nothing between you but air, aluminum bars, and a thin mattress. You could hear his shallow breathing, and you wondered if he was asleep or not, not that you were willing to check.

"(Y/N)," he finally spoke, swallowing painfully and running a paw over his forehead to soothe himself in some way. "You awake?"

You were almost scared to answer. What was the correct choice? Was he going to do something to you if you didn't answer? Would it be better to pretend to be asleep to avoid a fight? "Mhmm." you responded shakily.

"I was just gonna say, I put your blaster and a few spare parts in a box in your trunk," he mumbled, barely above a whisper. "Ya might wanna tell whoever ya take it to upgrade the trigger to something with less resistance, that should fix it for good."

"Thank you..." you breathed, quiet as a mouse. "I'll tell him."

"I'm sorry..." he stammered from above, curling himself in a comforting ball. "For...ya know? Does it still hurt...?"

"A little." you answered timidly. "They weren't very deep, it'll probably heal without any scarring."

Rocket's muscles instinctively relaxed at that, relieved he wouldn't have to look at your disfigured face and be reminded of his monstrous temper for long. "That's good..."

"I'm sorry I insulted you..." you confessed, lying still so as not to let the creaking bed disturb the quiet.

"Don't be, I'd be suspicious too." He finally let go of a breath he didn't know he was keeping. "And, for the record, I haven't been giving you broken tech on purpose, but I guess..." he halted, unsure if or how to admit his dark pleasures. "I guess I do kinda like it when we fight..."

"...Why?" you asked, a bit sickened.

Rocket's jaws parted again, as he thought he'd finally found the words to say, but suddenly, there was a searing ache in his chest. Reaching up, as if to catch it in his paws, he sighed. This wasn't the time, he hadn't come to terms with it yet.

"I guess...I just really can't stand you."

#gotg x reader #rocket raccon x reader #rocket x reader angst #rocket angst #rocket raccoon #rocket raccoon x you #rocket raccoon x y/n #gotg rocket #gotg rocket x reader #gotg

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thebrandywine · 2 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Authors

@catgirladjacent tagged me! and i like to infodump! let's go!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

97 including some that are under pseuds, though I did orphan a few once I started fixating on Resident Evil more fully. I was embarrassed lmao

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

865,796 o__o

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Resident Evil exclusively now!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

don't worry about this one cuz it's under a pseud lol

[every picture tells a story], 387 kudos

[lantern], 376 kudos

broken machine, 356 kudos

[the quality of mercy], 332 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do!!! more often than not it's just with some emojis now lol but i relish and treasure every single comment i get

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh, this one has yet to be published :) don't worry! <3

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmm... probably Two Cakes (which is coming out this month)? made me feel all sappy at least :]

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not now, but I definitely got some hateful comments on things when i was a lot younger-- mostly people complaining that i was a bad writer or that i should delete (which i did, so they got their wish lol). now if anything i mostly get people who comment on my stuff to kind of pressure me to update XYZ (the nivannedy catboy fic is notorious for this, which is why i haven't been working on it very much lately). the block button is my friend tho <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

yeah :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

Nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think someone wanted to at one point and then never did lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i've talked with some people about this before but we've never gotten around to it :P

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i love chreon but there's just SOMETHING about nivannedy---

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

the lethan re7/re8 rewrite. i really want to keep working on them but i just have so much more on my plate that i keep pushing it off, especially when it'll require the research of rewatching playthroughs a few times to reimaging the plot points. maybe one day tho!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

i've been told that my dialog is good which makes me happy because there are a few fics where i'm actually really proud of it :3

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

describing things, especially people! for some reason i always feel like it breaks the flow so i just... am like "there is a man. anyway--" sorry readers but it's your job to imagine him skjfnskdnf

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i only speak english and i'm also VERY american. i don't personally want to mess around with that because it would be google translate type shit and that's just sad imo :/ so since i don't know enough i will abstain

19. First fandom you wrote for?

pokemon!!!!!!!!! i literally found THE first fic i ever wrote which would have been somewhere between third and fifth grade because i PRINTED IT and DREW PICTURES. it is called The Mysterious Manaphy and makes no sense. i read it aloud to my partner and they howled. yeah, it was just that good

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

listen, i love broken machine, but dualities has seriously taken the cake!!!!!!!!!

thank you for tagging me claire :3 i tag @flurrin @fonulyn and @silvercap!!!

#.ask

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atomic--peach · 11 months

Text

Her Grace's Handmaiden Pt 20

(Sandor Clegane x Fem Reader x Cersei Lannister HEAVY SPOILER TW: pregnancy loss)

AO3 version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48276340

News of Lord Renly's death swept the court and you were genuinely sorry to hear of it.

You had only met Renly a few times, but each time he had been kind to you.

But with Renly now dead, Stannis had claimed his remaining forces and tripled the size of his army.

It did not take a genius to understand that King's Landing was under threat.

According to The Master of War, they were only a few weeks away by ship.

As the fleet drew closer, you received a surprising invitation.

It had been 2 months since you had stood in the presence of Queen Cersei. You hadn't looked at each other, you hadn't spoken to or about one another.

You refused to be the first to crack.

You weren't the same scared girl who had followed the Lion Queen across the continent nearly a year ago, now you were a lady, the wife of one of the fiercest men in Westeros, and soon to be a mother.

You would not crack.

"The Queen wished to see you, My Lady."

Lancel looked pale and skittish. You figured the knowledge that his first real war was looming just beyond the water's edge was wearing on him.

"You should get some rest." you counseled him. "You look tired."

Sandor wanted to come with you, lest you return with fresh cuts and bruises, but you would only allow him to escort you to the royal quarters.

Even with the crutch Pycelle provided, walking proved to be a challenge.

Your ankle had healed enough to bear a little weight, but your pregnant belly made it hard to keep your balance.

Cersei was waiting for you with a jug of red and two chalices laid out with cakes and cheeses. She kept no handmaids about for your visit.

"You're looking better." Was the first thing she said. "Please sit."

"Many thanks, Your Grace." you nodded, moving to sit carefully grunting a little as you did.

"My love." Cersei sighed, "I wanted to say I'm sorry."

You smiled a little, relieved.

"It's all but forgotten, my queen."

"No" Cersei shook her head. "I was angry, frustrated with my brother and the council, and his grace. And I took it out on you. That wasn't right of me."

This show of accountability left you speechless in the best of ways. You almost wanted to pull Sandor in and say "Look, see. I told you."

"You must be famished." Cersei moved to pour the wine, "I know I was in my final days."

"My Queen. Forgive me, I am so happy we're speaking again," you confessed, accepting the chalice gladly. "I love my husband, but...I missed you so much. It was like someone had punched a hole out of my chest and left an empty space."

Cersei smiled a little, taking a deep drink of the wine and motioning for you to do the same.

You obeyed.

"Pycelle says I shouldn't drink too much wine or ale" You filled the air with your words, not noticing the queen had gone silent.

"He says it might hurt the baby, but it's so late in. Only two more months now. Surely just a glass or two wouldn't hurt."

"Of course not" Cersei brushed off the Grandmaester as if he were nothing more than a sideshow magician. "Drink as much as you like my pet." Cersei took your hand, squeezing it and you felt as if she was squeezing your heart.

"I am so glad you're back where you belong."

You drank and laughed together into the evening.

You ventured another glass of wine. It tasted different this time, less sweet.

The drink had an herby, earthy taste to it, different from the Reds and Golds you usually drank.

Glancing into the cup and you found the liquid to be dark, almost black.

"What vintage is this? I don't know that I've ever tasted it before."

Cersei paused and smiled, "Oh just, something I have been working on. We have land in the Arbor, as you know. With the King nearly grown, soon he won't need his mother's help, so I've taken up a new hobby."

You nodded, struck suddenly by how heavy your head was on your neck. you must have drunk too much.

Setting the chalice aside, you tried to focus your vision.

"I beg your pardon," you swallowed, finding your throat dry and acidic, "But I think I'm a little drunk, I should-"

Your body grew intolerably hot, but no sweat came to cool you. You tried to stand, reaching for your crutch but your fingers fumbled against the wood's grain and it fell to the floor.

You looked to the queen and found your vision doubling, the world around you swaying and tilting as the sound of yourr own panting filled your head.

"My Queen-"

"Sh, sh, sh, sh" Cersei watched you with stony eyes, calm as can be.

"Hush now, love."

"Please."

"This needed to happen, pet" Cersei explained. "I would have told you if I thought you'd understand. But that's fine because I'm handling it. Just relax and let it happen."

Your body was on fire, and if you had the strength, you would have been desperately trying to peel your gown and small clothes off for some relief.

A pain was growing in your belly, which made your heart race as you frantically tried to will it away.

No, you begged the gods for help. No please, please help me. Please don't let this happen.

The Queen was trying to kill me.

Varys' word to you rang in your ears.

"There's more than one way to be rid of the troublesome wife."

No.

You would have sobbed if it hadn't felt like every drop of water had been sucked from your body, leaving you stiff and burning.

You tried to rise once again, pushing yourself from the chair only to crash onto the carpet. your ankle screamed with pain as you tried to crawl across the floor, desperate to make it to the door.

Cersei rose as this, grabbing your arm and flinging you limply onto your back.

To your horror, Cersei knelt between your legs and lifted your skirts critically.

What was she looking for?

"Not yet" she grumbled, looking down on her lover pitilessly.

You lay on the ground for what felt like hours.

The blurred edges of your vision crept inward until the whole world was a blur. No hard or defined lines, only masses, and shapes.

Your ears felt as if they were plugged with cotton, every sound was muffled save for your own breathing.

You felt like a dry dead tree thrown on the fire, the heat never letting up for even a moment as the pain that started in your belly spread up to your spine and down through every muscle in your legs.

You wanted to rise. To run.

But when you tried, your body began to shake uncontrollably.

Your movements were no longer your own and you felt the muscles of your throat being to seize and shake along with every other particle in your body.

You could vaguely hear Cersei begin to call for aid.

You were momentarily aware of hands gripping you because their touch only made the fire burn hotter. You must still be thrashing because the hands held tighter.

People were talking, yelling even, but you would not make out the words.

You were moving, and the slight breeze that blew across your brow felt like heaven.

I'm dying, you wanted to say, there's no saving me.

I should have let Sandor come.

I shouldn't have gone at all.

I never should have gone to the docks.

We never should have agreed to wait 3 more months before leaving.

Wherever you were, it was dark.

Or had your vision gone completely?

You could hear the frantic sounds of movement.

You felt hands gripping your body to move it around as needed.

After a while tou were completely unaware of your body outside of the heat.

Where were your arms?

Were your legs still there?

Was your head simply floating around, unattached?

It was hard to tell.

Then came the pain.

The real pain.

Pain you had no concept of until right at this moment, and even now it was so overwhelming you couldn't comprehend it.

It was as though your body was being slowly torn apart at the seams.

Your very being was forced to condense and expand on the whim of some unseen and unknowable force, and you were powerless to stop it.

You had no concept of how long the pain had racked your body. It could have been 10 hours just as easily as it could have been 10 minutes.

And all at once, the pain was over.

You weren't sure if you had blacked out, or if you had died, but your body had altogether gone slack, and you had never been so grateful for anything in your life.

Your skin still burned, but some angel from heaven had begun to lay cool clothes soaked in cold water over your body.

Someone was speaking to you.

Or was that just your own mind?

It didn't matter.

You could only pick up one word.

Sleep.

You obeyed gratefully.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time you had awakened, arrangements for your funeral were being made.

You lay on a small cot, close to a window. It was daylight.

Your body ached as if you had gone to war.

The sheet that covered you clung to your body with sweat and you struggled to raise your arms to stretch.

You felt as if you were made of wood, joints immovable and creaking from lack of use.

Yiu sat up slowly and froze. Hands traveled down your body, over breast, ribs, and down

to your stomach.

It was gone.

Where had it gone?

pulse racing as you tried to stand, crying out at the shot of pain that bolted through your leg.

the sound of clattering glass and shuffling feet answered your cry as Pycelle rushed to find you leaning against his workbench, disoriented and panicked.

"My Lady" He cried, "Please sit back down, please."

"Where is he?" you stared at him with wild eyes, hair falling loose from a braid someone else had done. "Where is he?"

"Your husband is on his way, My Lady. Please!" Pycelle took your wrist and motioned back to the cot, "Please sit. You will tear your stitching."

"Not my husband, my son! Where is my son?"

Pycelle blanched but succeeded in getting you to sit back down by the time others began to enter the Grandmaester's quarters.

Sandor came first, followed quickly by Queen Cersei, and Lady Sansa.

You looked at them all with wide, confused eyes.

"Sandor." You breathed, reaching for your husband for reassurance. "Where is he? Where is our son?"

Sandor didn't answer at first. He wanted to run to you, to embrace you tightly.

But he couldn't, not in front of them.

"My Lady." Pycelle began again, "Please listen to me."

He pulled your full attention as he moved to sit next to you, taking your hand in his.

"My Lady, you had a terrible fit. Do you remember that?"

"No?" You shook your head, "I don't remember anything, I- I think Her Grace summoned me, and after that, I don't-"

"It was during your visit with the queen that you took ill. You fell into a terrible state, and while it was quite the fight, we were able to bring you back. But..."

He looked to Sandor, suddenly at a loss for words.

"My Lord, I think it best you go from here."

Sandor swallowed hard but took Pycelle's place next to you.

Your eyes were so pleading and desperate, he couldn't look at them.

"After a few hours, they told me they would only be able to save one of you, and I had to choose between you and our son.....Darling, I'm so sorry."

Your soul froze and dropped to the deepest pit of your stomach.

"That's a lie." You shook your head, "That's a lie, you're lying, it didn't-they never- No! No, No, No!"

He held you. You screamed your rage to the heavens and beat your fists on his arms, but he held you.

"How did it happen?" You demanded, "I don't understand! I don't!"

"There is no way to tell, I am afraid." Pycelle remained calm, as was his duty in these particularly hard situations. "Sometimes these things happen."

"I want to see him!" You wailed, "I don't believe you! I want to see him!"

"No, my love." Sandor gripped you tightly, pinning your arms to your sides as you tried to claw yourself up from the cot, "He's been buried."

"So soon?" You blinked.

"My dear," Cersei said delicately. "You've been asleep for almost 2 weeks; we feared you would never wake up."

It was as if the world had come crashing down around you.

There was no future, no past, there was only this moment.

Only this debilitating pain that knew no end.

"I think it would be best if Lady Clegane take some time to process." Pycelle insisted.

"Yes, of course." Cersei took Sansa's arm. The teen had begun to silently weep for her friend.

"Come, little dove. Clegane, take a few days. I will explain it to the King."

Sandor nodded and his wife melted into him silently.

"I need to see it" you begged, "please, I need to see his grave."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It was supposed to be a high honor to be buried in the crypts of King's Landing.

And honor reserved for kings and their families.

The tiny grave was set aside, away from the hulking stone monuments to great men.

"There's no name." You observed, leaning on your husband, "I- I suppose we never actually discussed one."

Sandor was silent, eyes trained on the small stone monument to a life that had not lasted more than a day.

At first, he hoped against hope that the child would live.

He was so small. So small Sandor was at a loss what to do with him when they placed his son in his arms.

His face was red and squished, but he never cried. Not once.

After the first few hours, when he hadn't died, The Hound thought maybe, just maybe they had beaten the odds.

He was his son after all.

He came from a line of strong men.

His mother was the strongest woman Sandor had ever met.

Sandor never prayed but that night he had.

He prayed to the Mother to have mercy on his wife and child, the Smith to aid the Maesters in their work, and the Father for the strength to care for his son if you didn't make it.

His son passed silently the day after he was down. It was peaceful, and he hoped it had been without pain.

The Silent Sisters took his tiny body away to prepare it for burial, and Sandor never saw him again.

He hadn't realized he was crying until you pulled him tightly to you, reaching up to touch his face.

"Oh, my love." You breathed, "I should have been there with you."

"He was so small." Sandor's voice caught, "I hoped maybe he would- but he went quietly. He didn't suffer."

You stood there in the darkness of the crypt, the torchlight licking at your skin and sending your shadows dancing across the stone walls.

You both cried bitter tears for your child, saying a million goodbyes to the stone memorial but neither was willing to leave.

"Lady Clegane."

A light voice cut through the darkness and you pulled from your husband's embrace, squinting in the darkness.

"Varys?"

"We haven't the time for your nonsense, Spider." Sandor growled, "Have some decency."

"Decency, my friend, is what brings me here." Varys come dressed in black, out of respect for his friend's mourning. "I brought someone I believe you are both familiar with. Come, son."

Lancel stepped out of the shadows, his head bent low as he approached the two of you.

"Lancel?" You blinked in confusion, "What is this?"

"Tell them what you told me." Varys insisted.

"Ser, My Lady" Lancel began, "I know you have no memory of what happened, but I beg of both of you to believe me when I say my words are the truth."

"Go on" Sandor was interested now. The Lannister boy had made it a point to stay out of The Hound's line of sight since that night in the King's Wood. He had a lot of balls to present himself mere weeks after his son's death.

"Your son's death was no accident." Lancel insisted, "I know how it sounds, but please listen. The Queen knew that once you had given birth, you would leave for the Westerlands. She was desperate to make you stay, and one day she returned from Pycelle's with a potion. I asked her what it was for and she said I wasn't...." he paused there swallowing his embarrassment for the sake of the truth.

"She said she didn't want to risk getting pregnant by me, so she was taking it every night to make sure it didn't happen. But I never saw her take them. "

Your eyes widened in horror, "The night I went to see her. I remember the wine. It tasted different; I couldn't put my finger on it."

Your face twisted, "No. No, Her Grace...she wouldn't do something like that. She knew what this baby meant to me."

"I'm so sorry." Lancel looked at you distraught, "If I had known, I would have come straight away. I swear that on my life. I never would have sent you to her."

"Boy, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you are certain what you just said is the truth."

Sandor moved in front of you and met the young knight face to face.

"I'd swear it before The Seven themselves."

"Swear it to me."

"I swear."

Lancel made his face serious as the grave as Sandor studied him before nodding.

"We must go." Varys said, "Before we are found out. You two go up the way you came, Lancel you follow me. My Dear-"

Vary's caught your hand and you found his eyes uncommonly sincere.

"I know I didn't always look out for your best interests, but I hardly have the words to express my sorrow. I mourn with you."

You felt tears in your eyes again and wiped them away quickly.

"Thank you, Varys, and you Lancel, for the truth."

"Use it wisely" he advised you before disappearing once again into the darkness. Lancel hung back for a moment until Sandor nodded to him.

"You know what must be done," you swallowed coldly, not looking at your husband and instead staring at the nameless grave before you. "She get away with this. I won't let her "

"She won't, my love." Sandor's grip on your shoulder was strong, "I promise you."

You nodded slowly, approaching the grave and kneeling. You ran your fingers over the blank stone and breathed a hard and almost painful sigh.

"I know what name should go here."

"What?"

"Aello" you breathed, the name becoming a vow as it passed your lips.

"Aello" Sandor echoed. He'd heard that name before. He'd forgotten where. "Why that name?"

You looked back at him, the torch light casting a gleam in your eyes that he had never seen before.

"It means Storm."

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