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#i dont think im saying anything different or interesting im just

marsixm · 4 months

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im trying to wrap my head around why i dont get enthusiastic about reddit style fiction (not a dig but a descriptor) like scp and shit like that, bc its not that i can’t enjoy them but i think its like… when stuff is framed as if it were real, but its fiction, its like, well KNOWING its fiction eliminates a huge element of the intrigue, but also, crucially, i like character-driven stories, or at least stories WITH characters. but i also like it when things are interesting for said characters to experience, like, i want the ghosts and monsters and conspiracies but i want the characters to be character-ing, yknow? not that i dont enjoy slice of life and… what would u call the first thing, non-character specific horror? idk? but i prefer when its both. its like i love kirk and spock but also i do enjoy watching them Experience Situations when i watch star trek. i enjoy the idea of spooky national forest monsters that arent real but experiencing it alongside a character would be better, and i want more trans and gay characters whose lives are clearly trans and gay but i want a plotline to unfold too

#i dont think im saying anything different or interesting im just #listening to a wendigoon podcast thats one of his things just #explaining a classic reddit horror story #and ig i enjoy the concept of this one more #but it leaves me thinking like #ok so why do i not wanna hear about this that much….?#and also why i dont rly give a fuck about scp at all when my friends tell me about it #or the mystery flesh pit thing #and its the same reason i didnt give a shit about 2017 IT but loved the 1990 mini series. connecting to the damn characters!!!#i guess i ought to give shit a try again i mean i did read creepypastas once when i was a teenager and enjoyed it #i had a similar thought thw other day when they announced another new star trek aos flashback movie #not that it explicitly said anything about this sort of stuff but like #i just remember hearing some ppl in a college course i was in talking about aos and like ohh the flashbacks to kirks childhood!!!#but in that ‘discussing superheroes’ way of like ‘oh this is good bc it checked the correct canon box!’#like idk dawg i do enjoy fact gathering about characters i love but thats not why i love them?#ok that rly was a tangent i just dont vibe w scp. but if you put a mulder and scully situation in there with it. boom. id be there. ok????#its almost like theres a reason this formula has proven to be so successful over and over and over again

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stuffedsand · 4 months

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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again

Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee

Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.

Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.

Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg

SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.

Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be

Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,

ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.

Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at

I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.

Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao

#sand speaks #hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text #i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised #like at all. itd be so bad #anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all #i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault.#like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki.#dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong #or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab #and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of #saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises #anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved #like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me #anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom #i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time #tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone

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mihai-florescu · 6 days

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From the drafts, thoughts about enst. Lalala

You know what Matrix reminds me of? Beasts. Baby's first introduction to experiencing and opposing racism, respectively transphobia. And yet they are unfortunately needed considering the audience (clunky as they are, i'd be happy if they make people reconsider internalized beliefs they hadn't been aware of). The western fandom likes to think themselves superior but im gonna be honest, while the lessons are very much obvious, i still see racist and transphobic remarks even from people who think themselves above it, without even realizing it. Once you deem yourself unable to commit "the worst things morally" you stop questioning your capacity to internalize and perpetuate harmful beliefs. Because "only bad people think or do that" - it is such an incorrect way to view things, morality, life. "Those are things a bad person does and I am good, therefore I can't do it. Also bad people can't have any good traits." is a sentiment all to common seen in online fandom spaces, a result of black and white thinking, that stuns growth and stops discussions rather than solve anything.

At the same time, the writing itself is not above criticism and conversations could and should be had. Ive seen and had some great talks recently. I just wish people would understand the very basic depiction=/=endorsement before jumping in, or that good and bad parts can coexist, and above all, looking at it as a piece of fiction that functions as such (What is it trying to convey? How is it done? Is it effectiv? How? Why? Who is the audience? Rather than a wall of "Well i personally dont like it. so it's bad". Feelings are valid but it's a bit like white noise i'd like to look past into exploring the uncomfortable. Speaking of, I'd like to eventually post some drafts that could be seen as touching uncomfortable topics but it's still scary, it's easy to get misinterpreted). Anyway, i also think a story can't be judged while incomplete. I have been keeping to priv/ my phone notes mostly because i know i can get careless and catty especially under stress. Im curious to see how it's wrapped up and how things will be evolving going forward...

#and i see another parallel in how the writing started superficial/insensitive/stereotypical and then steered into trying to tell-#a more sensible story the more the characters got flashed out #i think this couldve been avoided with a clear direction from the start but alas. you cant expect that with new stories every 2 weeks #about 50 characters no less #there are many things that would be interesting to discuss i just dont trust people and lack the energy to really engage as i used to #unfortunately im not giving up graduating to focus on enstars but because of a worsening mental state #but well i will not pass on an opportunity to comment as an observer of fandom #putting this under a read more its like on one hand i want to talk about things on the other i really really really dont have the energy #to really talk #treat this more as a journal entry #i dont think im saying anything particularly revelational anyway #ive been trying different types of journaling but this is still my most comfortable to write in #i like having tags i think thats mainly it

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personishfive · 1 year

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hi pls talk more about mona im so curious and id like to see the take of another genuine morgana enjoyer

i really like mona. it's like. well. he's a little guy...!!!

he does the whole "non human party member discovers their place in the world/with their friends" thing that the series has done before (though he's not teddie and he's definitely not aigis!) but goes hard every time.

it's neat that in a game that's so much about outcasts we have morgana who is literally a cat (or appears as one at least) who most people can't understand who doesn't even know what his own deal is. i haven't gotten to that one part of the game yet in my replay where they discuss this so no screenshots but you know what i mean!! he's like i don't fit in with you guys... and they're like bud you definitely do! (i believe this is the post-madarame hot pot scene)

the pipeline of being like hmph well im just using you that's all -> i wanna stay! this is where i belong! is cute also. maybe the real best friend is the cat we carried in our bag everywhere we met along the way

(also i don't blame ppl for being annoyed with the "lady ann" thing (persona is really weird about women!!) but it's always read as like. a silly little-brother type crush. to me. and also a joke on the whole "she's cat themed" thing. it's kind of lame/silly but shrug. bro marinated in the collective unconscious for too long so now he thinks a proper gentleman thief means having a lady friend. lmao)

also guys... he's the embodiment of humanity's hope... i feel like we as a society always forget that part. like. wow... he rules in the yaldabaoth fight! he rules a lot! <- i have no structured thoughts on this point it's just very much a thing

also he's just really cute :)

um. mona gender screenshots to finish this off LOL

#bobtalk #ask #p5 spoilers #ive already established that i dont have anything particularly interesting to say so forgive me for. mostly stating the obvious. LOL #one big difference between teddie and mona is like. teddie is blissfully unaware of human stuff meanwhile mona is like To Be A Proper Thief #also the scene where sojiro finds out he can talk is rlly funny. i think those two make a funny duo #im glad joker has a buddy with him going back to his hometown with him. do u think he told his parents he was coming back with a cat #also i just replayed the beginning sections and hes all like 'well you guys mightt kill this guy on accident but shrug' LOL #anyways yeah we cherish mona here. i love that guy

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fiendishartist2 · 1 year

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eaten from the core and out to the skin– mp100

Reigen strutted through the halls of Salt Middle School, passing empty classrooms and bustling club rooms at a brisk pace. As he turned an unfamiliar corner, he schooled his worried expression to something closer to irritation. Reigen was on a mission and he couldn't let any weakness show. He came upon the door he was directed to by the woman in the main office.

He entered with a hand on his hip, suit bunching up at the action. Reigen surveyed the small office, eyes catching on the cheesy inspirational posters and self-help books. He wrinkled his nose, ah, a guidance counsellor. Oh god, Mob, what kind of trouble did you get yourself in this time. Speaking of Mob– Reigen spotted his student sitting in the only other chair in the cramped office. His shoulders were brought far up to his ears and his head was hung low. Whatever they called him in for, Mob sure was taking it seriously.

Whatever, Reigen thought confidently, we'll be out of here in no time if I have anything to say about it.

The woman that had called him in sat at a cluttered desk that took up about a third of the small room. She smiled widely, brushing back her black bob behind her ear. Her elbow nudged against one of the many stacks of paper littering her desk.

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Reigen. Please, take a seat." He obliged, crossing his legs and leaning back in his chair. He tapped his foot impatiently.

"Would you mind telling me why I was dragged out of work to be here?" Mob hiked his shoulders higher, curling in on himself. His flat fringe cast a dark shadow over his face, covering his expression. Reigen thought he could see his lip wobble out of the corner of his eye, however.

"Ah- apologies, it was at Shigeo's request. I'm sure he didn't mean to interrupt." Mob asked for me instead of his parents? Reigen narrowed his eyes, lips pursing in thought. Mob never asked Reigen to pick him up from school unless something was really wrong. Last time this happened, Mob was trying not to blow up over the black eye some kid gave him. That day, Reigen had to keep reminding himself that a 26 year old man beating up a 12 year old middle schooler was definitely illegal. Now, seeing the way Mob's face was painfully schooled, like he was just barely holding it together, Reigen felt the same urge to hunt down whoever had done this.

He took a steadying breath, cracking a placating smile, "No, it's alright." Some of Mob's tension dissolved, "But, I do want to know why you called me." He tried, making sure to keep a pleasant tone. The last thing he wanted was to get Mob all worked up about whatever it was he did.

The guidance counsellor smiled, although it was fake just like Reigen's. Just a gesture meant to put the other at ease. She cleared her throat politely, picking up a file from under her elbow and sliding it across the table to Reigen. He leaned forwards, eyes scanning the page.

He landed on a few scribblings in pen that read 'lunch hour', 'truancy', and 'physical altercation' before she interrupted him.

"Shigeo was absent from all of his classes today and was seen by another student loitering in a club room during second period mathematics. As well as-" she picked up the paper, reading with a light hum, "-Ah, here– during lunch hour, Shigeo pushed a classmate, resulting in a dislocated shoulder." She read it off so stiffly, like a judge reading a list of crimes out to a jury. Reigen resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her seriousness. That's what Mob was in here looking like he was on the verge of breaking down for? Skipping class and pushing a kid? Reigen had done much, much worse in his school days– this was practically nothing.

Holding in a scoff, Reigen hummed sympathetically.

The counsellor sighed and put the paperwork down. She levelled Reigen with a tired stare, "As this is the first time I've had to discuss Shigeo's behaviour with a parent or guardian, I'm not going to punish him." Reigen's face softened before he could stop himself and she pounced on the opening, pressing her lips into a thin line. Or maybe this game of social chess was all in Reigen's head and she was just emoting like a normal person. Either way, she continued, "However, due to school policy, I still need to come to an understanding with Shigeo."

Reigen nodded, "Of course," he went on the attack, "I'm sure Mob didn't mean anything by his actions. Sometimes he just gets overwhelmed and-" his good natured smile slipped as Mob joined the conversation.

"I meant to push him. I'm sorry…" He whispered, hands twisting around each other. C'mon, Mob! I'm trying to vouch for you here, just don't say anything and I can get you out of this scot-free! he screamed internally. Unfortunately, Mob never had figured out telepathy, so Reigen's pleas went unheard.

"I skipped my classes too, on purpose." He continued in his soft voice. His warbly confession felt wrong, twisting itself around Reigen's stomach. This was all too serious, why was Mob getting so worked up over nothing?

Reigen swallowed the questions that crawled up his throat in favour of clawing the conversation back to normalcy. He patted Mob's shoulder forcefully, nervous laughter bubbling out of him.

"Such an honest student I have! As you can see, he's much too well behaved for trouble-making. So really, we should just let this whole thing blow over, huh?" Reigen boasted in his salesman voice. Despite directly contrasting Mob's incriminating words, he hoped she would believe him over his student by confidence alone. Judging by her unamused expression, it wasn't working.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Reigen, but multiple students admitted to seeing the fight at lunch. Now, Shigeo," she turned her attention to him. Mob didn't even look up from his lap.

"Why don't you explain to me why you were absent from class?" Reigen crossed his arms, turning to his student as well; he obviously wasn't getting them out of there any time soon. And, he was actually kind of curious about that too. Mob wasn't a perfect student by any measure, but he hated getting scolded and was too polite to break any rules anyways. It was really out of character for Mob to skip a whole day of classes.

Mob didn't react. Reigen couldn't be sure he even heard the counsellor's question at all. The boy sat so still he might have even been holding his breath.

Just as she got ready to try another approach, Mob sucked in a sharp breath, "...I don't know." His voice shuddered. Reigen's mood curdled instantly– Mob was definitely lying to them. There was nothing to lie about in the first place; sure, skipping class was against the rules but it wasn't egregious and it certainly wasn't uncommon. A bead of sweat rolled down Reigen's temple.

"Were you bored in class? Maybe you wanted to meet up with friends or get an early lunch?" She listed off the most common excuses bolder delinquents gave her. She hummed, leaning her chin on her entwined fingers, "How about an emotional reason? Did you feel upset in class and needed to take a walk?" She probed gently.

Mob curled imperceptibly inwards, holding his shoulders tighter to avoid reacting. But, Reigen spotted his clear sign of guilt: Mob's hands were gripping his knees with white knuckles.

"I'm sorry. I don't know." He replied robotically, voice getting flatter as Mob's distress grew. Uh oh, Reigen realised suddenly, this is bad. Mob really doesn't want to talk. He rubbed his clammy hands on his thighs, readying himself to step in and stop this situation from escalating any further.

Before the counsellor could say another word, Reigen went on damage control.

He hummed in surprise, drawing his phone from his suit pocket. In one fluid motion, he flipped it open and pressed it to his ear. He made a show of clicking the 'answer call' button.

"Spirit's and Such Consultation Office. Reigen Arataka, greatest psychic of the 21st century speaking. How can I help you?" He nodded along to the silent client on the other end of his fake call, "Hmm… an important job, you say? Please, calm down sir, of course I can handle it."

As he dialled the theatrics to 10, Mob spared his mentor a glance. Reigen trained his eyes on the wall, only so that he wouldn't break character once he spotted the dried tear tracks running down his student's red cheeks. Reigen widened his eyes dramatically, letting his mouth fall slack in mock horror. His imaginary client was describing quite the gruesome scene.

"Oh wow, that is very serious." He mumbled just loud enough for the counsellor to catch it. Reigen held back a smirk as she let out a worried hum.

Standing from his seat, Reigen straightened his tie, nodding again, "Stay calm and get to safety. My disciple and I will be there as soon as possible. How many victims did you say this spirit claimed already?" As he spouted a bunch of concerning nonsense, Reigen gestured for Mob to follow him. He scrambled out of his seat, thankfully used to Reigen's antics enough to understand the scheme he was pulling.

"Oh my-! Is something wrong?" Reigen flicked his eyes to the counsellor rising from her desk, a hand on her chest. This time, he let his satisfied smirk free, facing the door. Dramatically, he clicked his phone shut. In his grimest voice he could muster, Reigen put the final nail in the coffin.

"Yes. I've just gotten a call about a violent spirit terrorising innocent civilians. It's serious- life or death, you see." He reached for the door handle, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut this meeting short. I'm sure you understand." With that, Reigen threw the door open, steering Mob out of the school briskly. Sure, it was one of his more reliable lies, but it didn't fool everyone and Reigen would rather be caught dead than have to own up to lying straight to someone's face.

Once they were outside the school, he relaxed. Reigen clapped his freed student's shoulder with a relieved grin.

"Alright, Mob, let's get out of here. What do you say to an early dinner? On me." Of course, that would mean Mob's paycheck would be lighter tomorrow, but it's the thought that counts. Money doesn't grow on trees after all.

Reigen stopped his stroll when he realised Mob wasn't following. Instead of falling into step with him, Mob was still standing in front of the school, his face buried in his hands as his shoulders jumped up and down sharply.

Reigen rushed over to him, hovering around his crying student. He floundered; Mob hadn't cried in front of him in what must have been years. He hadn't cried in front of anyone else in much longer.

To his surprise, Mob tipped forward until his forehead rested on Reigen's chest. Reigen froze before placing a tentative hand on the top of his student's head. Gently, he patted down his shiny black hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. Mob mulled it over for a few minutes. Reigen didn't mind; he knew that Mob needed time to think about what he was going to say. Mob had always been a quiet kid and when he wasn't lost in thought, he was speaking his mind– even if the things that came out of his mouth were terribly blunt. So, in the middle of the day outside of the school they had just ran out of mid-conversation, Reigen and Mob stood as Mob collected his thoughts. Reigen really hoped no one would spot them.

"He poured milk on my head." Is what eventually wrestled it's way out of Mob's throat. It was mumbled, like he was both scared and ashamed of the admission.

Reigen didn't understand the gravity he was giving it, but sometimes Mob was just sensitive about violence. No matter how tame or justified.

"The kid you pushed?" Reigen prompted. Mob just nodded, "Well then, I think he deserved it. Serves him right for being a jerk."

He thought that would be the end of it; Mob would wipe his eyes and give Reigen a faint, grateful smile, and then they would be off eating mediocre ramen at the cheapest place in the city. Instead, Mob unfurled a bit, grabbing Reigen by the front of his blazer and burying his face in his chest as he choked and sputtered.

"Woah, kid!" Reigen wrapped him up in a real hug, confused at Mob's sudden clinginess, "Mob, calm down, you're hyperventilating." He struggled to keep the panic out of his tone. Mob shook his head frantically.

"Okay! Okay, Mob, just breathe," Reigen shushed, rocking them back and forth slightly in their hug. He hoped it was comforting, he wasn't very well versed in hugs. Mob wasn't usually touchy like this.

He felt a few teardrops soak into his shirt before he collected himself.

He ran a hand through the back of Mob's bowl cut, "It looks like you got most of it out, but you probably want to get properly cleaned up, huh? How about I walk you home and-" Mob shook his head again.

"You don't want to go home?" Reigen took the resounding silence as a yes, "And you probably don't want to go to the office, right?" Nope, alright, last resort, "Okay, what about my apartment, then? You can get cleaned up and I'll order takeout." He sweetened the deal, "And we can watch those action shows you like?"

Mob thought about it; it had been a while since he had been to Reigen's apartment, but he remembers it being pretty cozy. He liked hanging out there when he was younger and his parents needed his boss to act as his pseudo-babysitter. Reigen always tried to make his few stays there fun. And although 'free' dinners were regular with Reigen, Mob was really hungry from missing lunch to hide in the Telepathy Club room. Takeout sounded like a dream at this point.

"Mhm." Mob hummed.

--------------------------------------------------

Reigen gathered his haphazardly folded pyjamas, placing them in Mob's arms. He shot the boy a smile, but Mob's eyes were glued to the ground, glazed over with a distant frown on his face. He took the clothes with a quiet thank you, padding into Reigen's small bathroom. The door clicked behind him loudly in the silence.

Reigen sighed, scrubbing his face with a hand. Maybe he should get into something comfier as well.

The shower started as Reigen dug around for anything remotely wearable. I hope I didn't give Mob the last of my clean laundry… Just then, Reigen pulled a crumpled sage green ('barf green' a particular spiky haired kid jeered in his mind) tracksuit from under his bed. It didn't have any obvious smells or stains so it was passable in Reigen's book.

He jumped into bed, relaxing into the pillows and dragging his laptop towards himself. As he sent out emails and filled out his calender with upcoming appointments, he heard the shower shut off. A few minutes later, Mob shuffled out of the bathroom, wet hair plastered to his forehead and cheeks red from the hot water (or from crying, his brain supplied unhelpfully). He was fiddling with the hem of the oversized sweatshirt Reigen gave him. It went past his hips and the sleeves pooled at his wrists. The pyjama pants he wore had to be rolled up at his ankles and cinched tight around his waist. Reigen didn't like he frail he looked.

Reigen pulled out his phone, rummaging through all of the random papers in his desk for a takeout menu. Just as he sat up to move to his couch, the mattress dipped next to him as Mob settled on the bed. He pulled his knees to his chest. Wordlessly, Reigen handed him the menu.

Once they had their food ordered, Reigen pulled up a new tab in Mobgle, quickly searching through suspicious websites for good quality rips of Mob's favourite shows.

"Cover your eyes, I don't know what kinda ads will pop up." He reminded Mob, chuckling. His student just hid his face in his knees.

Soon, they were huddled around Reigen's laptop, eating their dinners and watching TV. The show was in pretty good quality, but even then, Reigen had no idea what was happening. As he watched the flashy fight scenes, he wondered why kids even liked this stuff. It was just guys yelling at each other and blowing shit up with magic. He realised that might be a bit hypocritical, remembering the magical girl cartoons of his childhood. Kids like to watch other kids wear colourful outfits and fight with superpowers.

Reigen cringed; after seeing what that mentality did to real children, he couldn't watch the show without feeling a bit sick to his stomach. Or maybe it was the two bowls of ramen he ate…

The credits played softly, some woman singing about friendship over quiet piano. Reigen collected their leftover bowls and chopsticks, taking a quick three-step trip to the kitchen to throw out their trash. He stretched, wincing at the way his back popped way too loud to be healthy. As he made his way back, he realised Mob had paused their show.

Reigen hesitated at the side of his bed, before perching on the edge of it next to Mob. He reached out and patted his knee, silently imploring him to talk.

"Shishou-" Mob started, face crumpled in a way that looked painful, "I'm sorry for bothering you." He bowed, "I caused so much trouble today for no reason. I made you come to my school when you could have been working."

Reigen shook his head harshly, "No, no! No, Mob, you didn't bother me. You needed my help back there. What kinda shishou would I be if I didn't get you out of trouble, anyways? Besides," he cracked a smile, ruffling Mob's hair, "I don't blame you for skipping class after what that jerk did."

Mob ducked his head down, wrapping his arms around his knees.

"That's not… why I skipped." He whispered. Reigen stilled.

"No?"

Once again, Mob was tense. He was pulled so taught, he was shaking. The room held its breath for a minute or two as Mob collected his thoughts.

"I wasn't feeling well this morning. I had a nightmare- uhm- about school."

Reigen hummed softly, not wanting to break whatever spell made his student want to talk about what was bothering him.

Unfortunately, Mob held his tongue, falling silent again.

"What happened in your dream, Mob? You can talk to me, you know." Reigen prompted. Mob's face was blank, but his breathing came out in short bursts, revealing the emotions boiling just beneath the surface.

"Do you remember when we had to- to help that possesed girl?" It didn't make sense; why did Mob look so scared?

Reigen nodded. Of course he remembered that awful job; he remembered how he had to sit and watch his disciple put himself in danger while he could do absolutely nothing. He remembered getting in a cab to go home and how Mob refused to look him in the eye the whole ride, but glued himself to Reigen's side. He remembered how jumpy he was and how unstable Mob's powers were for a whole week after. Now, three weeks later, Reigen was just glad they got out of there without incident and they could put the whole thing behind them.

"Asagiri? Yeah, what about it?" Reigen replied flippantly.

Mob flinched.

"When I was in her mind with…" He was staring at his feet, gaze worryingly distant. It looked like he wasn't even present in their conversation– like he was only talking through himself from somewhere else.

"With Mogami," he mumbled the psychic's name, "I was in there for a long time. I think it was longer for me than it was for you."

Reigen stayed silent, rubbing small circles on Mob's knee with his thumb. He hoped his small reassurances were enough to clear that fog from Mob's eyes.

"Um- it was months, actually." He confessed. Months?! How could he have been there for months? It took only half an hour at most for Mob to exorcise Mogami. Reigen barely bit back his questions.

"That world I was in, it was…" he paused, struggling to find his words, "Shishou, you didn't exist and my family didn't either a-and-!" His grip around himself tightened. As his aura spiked, his hair started to float, revealing wide, scared eyes underneath.

"Everyone hated me– Minori hated me and Ritsu didn't care about me and all of my classmates thought I was awful-" Mob couldn't breathe. All he could see as he squeezed his eyes shut was Minori's malicious smile. The smile she gave him when she picked on him, called him names, cornered him in the halls, poured milk over his head. Cold sweat dripped down his face and it was like he was back there, his own blood gushing from his head and over his cheeks. It felt like dying.

Meanwhile, Reigen was getting more confused with each confession; what was this other world Mob was talking about? What does he mean he didn't exist? Were they still talking about Mob's dream? What does this have to do with Mob skipping class?

"I'm sorry, Mob, but I don't really get what you're trying to say?" Reigen said gently. Mob's eyes opened and he startled like he forgot Reigen was even there.

"M-Mogami," again he said it in a hushed tone, "He made a world in Minori's mind. It was like my life here but- but none of my friends were there. And I think my family wasn't either because... I lived alone." He didn't mention how Mogami took away his powers. He didn't know what he would do if Reigen found out what he did once he got them back.

"Minori…" Mob scrubbed his palms over his eyes, drying the tears springing up against his will "She always targeted me at school." 'And everywhere else,' was left unsaid.

"I don't know why, um– why she hated me so much, actually. One time…" His hands twisted in his borrowed sweatshirt, right above his stomach, "She spilled a carton of milk on me. On purpose." He confessed in a hushed voice.

Reigen's heart clenched. So that's what he's so upset about, he thought, relief flooding through him. Just as he started to make up a speech about how that job was over and he was safe, Mob continued speaking.

"A-and I was scared of going to class because…" The cups and plates in Reigen's cupboards started to rattle, "Be-because-" he flinched as a something shattered in the distance, phantom pains sparking on the skin of his cheek. Reigen paid the ruined dish no mind. He barely ate out of them anyways.

"My teachers they would- uh. If I got a-a question wrong… they hit me. Um- hard." Mob's words oozed shame. He hung his head, cheeks flush with humiliation.

It's not everything, Mob knew. It would probably never be everything, if he was being totally honest. Six months of pent up frustration at the world, crushing loneliness, and a hopelessness so all encompassing he thought he would choke on it every day couldn't be voiced in a single conversation. All Reigen needed was context right now, Mob told himself. There was no need to worry his shishou with details of box cutters and cats and the cackling laugh of high schoolers.

He threaded his fingers in his flowing bangs, "I know it's not real," he reassured himself, "But it's still so- it makes me feel so-" he floundered, mouth popping open and closed.

"Scared?" Reigen supplied weakly. This whole conversation made him feel like that, actually; scared and weak.

Mob finally looked him in the eyes and the open desperation could have made him cry. He opened his arms and Mob fell into him.

“I had a dream about it last night…” he croaked, “I co-couldn’t calm down all day. I was scared of hurting anyone s-so I hid in the club room instead of going to class.” Mob’s voice broke, “I’m sorry.” He whispered. Whether Mob was apologising for breaking the rules or for keeping this a secret from Reigen, he couldn’t tell.

Reigen tucked the boy's head under his chin, wrapping his arms around his small back. Small because he's a child. A child you failed to protect. He counted with Mob, trying to get his breathing under control. Reigen tried to stay present but his own distress was mounting by the second, stirring in his chest and making his heart race.

How long did Mob say he spent in that hellish world? Months? Reigen tightened their hug with shaking hands. Mob was trapped in Mogami’s manipulative illusion for so long with no one to turn to– not even himself it sounded like. Reigen was almost glad for it; he didn’t want to know how Mogami would have twisted their relationship. He didn’t want to think about what kind of irreparable harm he could have caused.

The thought of himself raising a hand to Mob in the same way his teachers had was enough to make him nauseous.

After what could have been hours of hushed voices and panicked sobs, Mob’s aura calmed down and Reigen’s apartment was finally still. Reigen held his student long past the sun setting, no matter how much his back protested the action. He rubbed circles in Mob’s back, talking about anything and everything until he slumped against his chest, fast asleep.

He was in the middle of a rant about the proper way to season pork when the peace was broken by his ringtone. It was muffled, tangled in the comforter they both sat on. He rifled through the blanket's folds, digging out his phone and flipping it open. The time blinked back at him.

"9:13 already?" He mused under his breath, hitting the answer button.

Before he could start up his customer service greeting, the woman on the line cut in.

"Reigen?" Mrs. Kageyama demanded, relief lacing her concern. Reigen's eyebrows rose.

"Oh, hey, Mrs. Kageyama." Reigen answered dumbly. She forewent her usual correction of the formality and rushed into the reason why she called.

"Is Shige with you? He was supposed to be home hours ago and he hasn't been answering his phone." Her tone was scolding but the frantic pace she spoke with gave away her anxiety. Reigen looked down at Mob's slowly rising and falling back as the boy dozed. He still clung to Reigen's middle in a tight grip, sitting up despite his exaustion.

"He's with me. Sorry for worrying you, I didn't see the time." He pinched between his eyes, "It's been a long day, if I'm being honest. Shigeo's asleep right now, but I can get him a cab or something if you need him home."

Mrs. Kageyama answered slowly, a warning just under her words, "Did something happen?"

Reigen winced.

Lying to Mob's parents wasn't something he loved doing- they already put so much trust in him with their son and violating that trust made his skin crawl. They could also be pretty intimidating when they wanted to be, especially his strict mother. What had happened on the Asagiri job was horrible and keeping that from Mob's parents didn't sit right with him.

On the other hand, Mob seemingly hadn't told anyone else about it yet. If his student wasn't comfortable telling his parents about Mogami, then Reigen had no place doing it for him.

"Nothing drastic. Just a bad night's sleep, I think," he stretched the truth. "He's hanging out at my place." Reigen let out a hollow laugh, "Don't worry, he's been fed. We were just eating ramen and watching TV before you called."

"I wasn't criticising you, Reigen." He could hear the smile in her voice as she teased him, "I'm sure you boys had lots of fun. Just make sure he hasn't been cursed or whatever it's called."

His smile strained. Sure, Mob hadn't been cursed by a spirit, but another kind of heavy presence hung over him. This was something they couldn't just exorcise in a second– something that would follow him around for the foreseeable future.

"I'll have you know, Mrs. Kageyama, I'll be 30 soon. I wouldn't exactly call myself a 'boy' anymore." Reigen joked weakly. It was hard to keep his festering guilt out of his voice.

She hummed sarcastically, "Goodnight, Reigen. Let me know when Shige wakes up." Reigen agreed and quickly hung up. He snapped his phone shut as quietly as possible, letting out a sigh into the remaining silence.

Judging by the time and the heavy weight of Mob's head on his shoulder as the boy slept soundly, Reigen was sure he wouldn't be getting back to Mrs. Kageyama anytime soon. He shot her a text saying just as much.

Gently, Mob's fists were released from the sides of his tracksuit. Reigen tucked him in, slipping off of the squeaky mattress. He nabbed his laptop from where it lay forgotten next to Mob's head, settling onto his couch and resting it on his stomach. The couch was way too small for Reigen to sleep on, but he could handle his ankles dangling off the arm for one night if it meant Mob would sleep peacefully in turn. He reached around under his coffee table, finding a thin fleece blanket with a triumphant smirk he didn't really feel. It also didn't cover his feet.

Reigen fell into a restless sleep, passing out in the early hours of the morning with his clunky laptop pressing into his gut uncomfortably.

The only solace from his endless nightmares, was the soft, steady snores of his student filling the air in his apartment. Everytime he woke, stomach roiling and berating himself over how badly he had failed Mob, he was comforted by that noise.

Part of Reigen knew that it was probably because the boy was exhausted after the day he's had, but a smaller, softer part of him wanted to believe he put the boy's dreams at ease. The thought that Mob felt safe and cared for, at least for now, in his presence warmed his heart– no matter how much he tried to deny it.

Reigen dialled Salt Middle School the next morning, calling his student in sick. He and Mob spent the day walking through parks and eating mochi, instead. They don't talk about their conversation last night, but Mob leans into his space more than usual and Reigen makes sure to smile at his student more; when they part for dinner, Reigen ruffles his hair and Mob huffs out a faint laugh, not bothering to duck away from his hand.

#something something i like when reigen takes care of his kids and listens to their problems #dont tag as anything weird or ill hunt you down. this is platonic i cant believe i have to say that #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #my fic #2 fics in one night? i have way more where that came from baby #i think at this point i have 8? ish? at least 5 are finished and 1 of them has a finished draft that i just need to finish the good copy of #smth you should know about me is that LOVE mogami arc. like love love. im obsessed with it #its just so raw?? compared to the other arcs i think it goes the farthest content wise. like mob gets stabbed lol #only rivaled by the 7th division arc i think. but even then the most violent bits in there are short #i think its so interesting that mob was trapped in another world (that he was 100% convinced was real btw)-#-where he was relentlessly othered and bullied-- esp in the manga! its not just minori- he gets picked on for being bad at sports #-and minori makes it a point to single him out as someone weird and different from the rest of their classmates #its just so. like ik the lesson he learns is that some ppl change and some ppl wont and he has to accept that when faced with conflict-#-but theres no way that other world didnt fuck him up are you kidding me #you just know mob cant look at crows anymore without feeling uneasy. or cant stand the smell of spoiled milk. or gets nervous in class #reigen arataka #shigeo kageyama #mogami arc #mrs kageyama doesnt have a name </3 sorry girl i love you forever tho #mp100 fanfic

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homophyte · 21 days

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thank you for the long & thought out response. while i do fully agree with you on stances like prison abolition & the myth of the stranger pedophile scapegoat, my question and discomfort with jimmy’s actions comes not so much from a political/philosophical standpoint but from a very human emphatic one. i put myself in the shoes of the girl he groomed and abused and imagine people listening to and enjoying the music of my abuser and it makes me sick to my stomach. so thats more where my guilt and discomfort comes from. that said i can’t say that their music doesn’t have an impact or isn’t enjoyable. i also agree with you that this mass outrage and very public renunciation and demand for punishment is very much a social mechanism and automatic reaction that quite simplifies a complex situation. however these mechanisms exist for a certain evolutionary purpose after all (sorry my background is psychology) but thats sort of besides the point because im also not a fan of how these things get handled with zero nuance.

its also true what you said that me or you or anyone deciding to disengage with this band or their music changes nothing in the grand scheme of things, so doing it as some sort of Noble Cause against abuse is useless. so in this case i feel it’s up to personal preference and whether or not i can swallow the cognitive dissonance and discomfort this information arises in me whenever i listen to their music from now on.

thanks again for the insightful response, i’m glad we can have this sort of discussion because i also think this topic is extremely important but people often shy away from it because it’s so heavy.

im glad you asked me to share! like i said ive spent a lot of time thinking abt this specifically so its very much like years worth of mishmash thoughts kinda strung together only by me experiencing them over time in succession lol. but i agree its important to talk about it especially within a culture so ensnared in the logic of the prison and particularly how effectively thats been exported into like 'mob justice' for lack of a better word.

re: the emotive aspect im not sure i have much to say other than like Yeah its a very strong one and i dont think its a bad thing at all to have. i got the impression from ur ask--and idk how true this is--that you were wrestling between a desire to return to the music bc you enjoyed it and that response preventing you and feeling a sort of obligation to do one over the other n struggling with that. so i think i approached it as like 'heres ways you can reason w that emotional response and grapple w it if its smth ur agonizing over' or something like that. im also a firm believer in the ways politics shapes the ways we think n feel so my instinct was to tease out some of the structures that may be shaping ur thought processes--which of course i nor anyone but you can fully know. but i dont get that same sense from how u describe it here and either way i think whatever feeling ur having about it is like...i dont want to say its 'valid' but ur allowed to have that and do whatever you want pretty much lol. i cant and am not going to force anyone to engage w the band and theres probably more reasons than i could think to list why its not for everyone even without the sordidness of abuse hanging over it.

without getting into a much much broader discussion i would gently push back on the idea of a biologically innate reason for the existence of carceral/punitive logics (and frankly psychology more broadly), if only bc it does a lot of the work of justifying them. keep in mind that these are concepts ideas and patterns of thought that exist because they serve systems of power and particularly the state. we did not have to have a society which created them, we only happen to--which is to say theyre not innate in this way and i disagree that they have an 'evolutionary' purpose bc it fails to properly historicize them. but thats me coming from an antipsych position lol

#asks #frankly for me its like....sometimes we do feel that emotional reaction n sometimes we dont #and im interested in where the difference is or where the line is drawn #some things are considered 'too big to fail' theres plenty of other much more influential musicians that have equal or worse allegations #but nowhere near the same response #and part of this is just 'size' its much more effective to do this to a smaller artist n a smaller community than like potential millions #of say michael jackson fans right. so part of this for me is yeah why does jimmy urine make ppl feel so strongly #and again part of it is 'size' msi is smaller its like 'cult classic' music for lack of a better word and its obviously evidently queer #so u can weaponize that extant fear of queer ppl and within the queer community of people fearing us #thats not to like diagnose that as something going on w u just that like....the emotional response itself is politically complicated #is what im going for here #so sorry i gave u a bunch a lot of stuff that may not have had anything to do with how ur feeling . i was thinking about other shit #im glad u appreciated though lol!

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asanjou · 5 months

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as someone who watched rpm after go-onger (with like... a year gap between? something like that) yeah no rpm and go-onger are two COMPLETELY different things. ziggy and the boom twins could handle being in go-onger but only the wings would survive rpm. go-onger is so cute and fun and actually one of the toku shows where i'm like "oh yeah. def for the kiddos (affectionate)" rpm is what happens when you have go-onger footage for your apocalypse lmaoooo

i guess my point is that i liked rpm decently but i LOVED go-onger lmao

if i do watch rpm it'll be after go onger because i feel like that'll make the experience weirder

i already kind of get this in the opposite direction because ive watched zyuranger, which is a show where the main theme is the cycle of life and death so there's a couple of occasions where it handles some heavy stuff so it was interesting to see how certain plotlines got adapted into the show about high schoolers at high school

one thing i will say about pr is that it always knocks it out the park with the names. ziggy and the boom twins? pure americana. no notes.

#this isnt meant to be criticising mimopr for being a more light hearted show btw again i think they were just going for different things #and zyuranger isnt exactly the worlds best sentai either #sorry i dont have anything more interesting to say about go onger or rpm again i havent watched either show #post tag #ask tag #zyuranger is not gritty btw despite me saying this i think it handles the topics very gently #aside from the episode where they mercy kill that kaiju #it made me feel better about it if im being honest which feels like a goofy thing to say about a kids show but its true

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red-dyed-sarumane · 6 months

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kyuuyakus so good not only bc its like the only song heavy enough i can tolerate at loud volumes that can Almost drown out my coworker who never shuts up but ALSO for the points ive said 74times & will continue to,

aru sekai shoushitsu set us up for something super sci-fi, which. yes. the series very much is. but it was so technical and almost coldly indifferent. and then we're given the whole "old testament" in the title & the whole intro reading that isnt far from dantes inferno type content as my good friend emimin pointed out. we've got this new aspect added in and at the same time the lyrics let you know this character's still dealing with the complex technical stuff, from the terms down to the second kanji in ashita being incomplete as though because of a program error or interruption or some other similar reason.

and it feels even more different because theres just so much emotion in this one compared to shoushitsu. all the "bye-bye"s written in ways that express deep pain, the fact that the "see you tomorrow"s are cut off in the way they are the first time, and so drawn out the second time. the genre's not the spacey, distant trance type that shoushitsu is; its heavy, its intense, its got as much to it musically as there are details in the story. it's not just to sound cool, it's getting her state of mind across just as much as the spoken words. the world's being destroyed physically & metaphorically, everyone's suffered this over and over, they've parted ways so many times and its just never something they can get used to, especially not if they want to keep trying to end this whole loop, she's stressed past imagination trying to keep everything in check when its just not possible, & the intensity of the music just emphasizes all of that. there's less intense parts too, sort of like a forced focus on what she's doing that all too quickly builds to a panic. or the in the second part where everything gets so dire, the bell's tolling and she's running out of time, the piano over top of it giving such an uneasy feeling, and then right back to that heavy panic. theres so much emotional charge in it you know the long notes aren't just magu having fun with it; you just know they're meant as screams. i dont even think i can say screams for help, i think she knows shes past the point of help or at least that she's supposed to be everyone else's source of help that it's just stressed lamentation. she's doing everything she possibly can and its not working so all thats left is to cry out about it.

and then u have the rute furute wo a motif in here that's added in under the "fractal wa/kurikaeshita" parts that really hits harder now with kannagi for extra context. knowing that this is in the past & can't be changed and everyone else is using this as a point of reference. then u of course have the nami no ne wo motif, & the longest & clearest instance of it aside from maybe oumen mokushiroku so u know she's herself & gets to live, gets to keep doing this & watching other people die. (although i have absolutely no frame of reference for how long she lives given this is a past event & she doesn't seem to be present in the more current time songs. we dont really have that context yet) & then we're back to the rute motif on top of what still sounds like a jumble of nothing. but i also thought the rute line was nothing and here its a big deal so i cant wait to realize what this other jumble is, considering its also under the last ima kizanda parts.

theres just so so much to it, so many little intricacies that build such a full picture from whats otherwise one of the more simple series songs & i cant love it more.

#aru sekai series #part of me is desperately like is that last jumble here the reason the end of ashura sounds so familiar to me #but its not quite right for that i dont think #its also not the repeating whatever from shoushitsu #& it didnt make any sense to me when i tried reversing it either so i just dont know #ashura's a different conversation but oh my god i am so desperate to realize why the end of it sounds so familiar to me #like which song is it from & what motif is it #its NOT the nami no ne no. i know that. that's not in that song despite everything telling me it should be.#which is interesting in its own right considering the whole. cycle of things with ashura as a concept & whatnot.#& yet without that motif it implies she doesnt get to live after her song so thats something i think about often #anyway i feel like what im looking for is in either kyuuyaku or touhikou or both but i can never pinpoint it #compels me tho #as ive said many times the sound design in series songs is amazing when magu says they compose to fit a certain mood they fucking nail it #i thought about putting this under a read more but ive decided to actively be annoying #oh yeah once again im not looking at anything directly this is just off memory & the lyrics i can understand #bc some of these words i forgot immediately after learning. whoops.

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