#i dont know what id have if it isnt art.

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 26

someday if i can figure out how the hell people get these things made i would like to do some little destiny & malice acrylic charms. i think those are so fun. and while i mostly want them for Myself i figure that if i DID figure out the process, i should maybe open up the option to anyone else that might want them, soooo...

informal poll: if i figure out how all that works, would any of y'all be into that, and approximately how many of you?

#day 26 #year 5 #my ocs #destiny chainsaw #malice winterfang #i know i've said i don't really like the idea of commissions and this isnt like a PROMISE or anything #i still have a lot of research to do before i commit to a shop of any kind #BUT. i think like a redbubble or something in that vein might be a manageable project #i mention stickers specifically because that seems like a very manageable thing to produce and ship even if i didnt go through like #a service to do so #particularly because i dont think id get a TON of orders for my niche OCs lol #but if i got some practice with something small like this it MIIIIGHT help me build up to making things for a larger market like... #say... well you know what i'm about over here lmao #we've basically all but gotten the official blessings of the powers that be to make homestuck merch without fear of reprisal at this point #ANYWAY that would be a ways off and be a much MUCH bigger project both artistically and in terms of like #me learning how Online Commerce works from the seller end. #BUT I HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING IT. and it seems to me that it would at least be relatively simple to sell like. prints of old art maybe #i dunno! like i said i'll see how the poll shakes out while i do a bit more research

[dailynakaharachuuya]

Thanks for drawing all these Chuuya art! They're a delight to encounter!

Draw Chuuya making a heart gesture perhaps?

Chu! Sorry for being so cute!

#ask #request #himi wiz #bsd chuuya #bungo stray dogs #(I'm glad you like my drawings haha) #(feel like ive been having the worst art block recently) #(or at least what I draw just doesn't feel as interesting as Id like) #(maybe bc my art style isnt very detailed and I keep getting told by people around me to draw more detailed and interesting looking stuff) #(I'm not too sure I feel very conflicted about whether or not I can actually do this haha) #(I dont know haha Im glad people like these doodles regardless)

[ganondoodle]

been able to keep both my fear and hype about totk in check by watching nothing but elden ring videos for weeks but now i read something on accident and my anxiety is going through the roof again

#ganondoodles talks #pls nintendy #dont do this #it was only a sentence with no clear spoilers or anything #but by god its put fear in my heart again #pls let totk be its own game #id even be willing to spoil myself on some stuff just to know my fear isnt based on truth #i hate that i feel like this #even if im better able to stop panic attacks before they happen #i still feel so silly for feeling so strongly about a game and its lore #but no matter what i try i cant help it #its been my thing of comfort for so long i wouldnt know what else i would focus on if i were to lose it #and it would be so much work - years of work- basically wasted #plus i would feel so bad having made people be interested only to abandon it before its even really started #the only thing giving me comfort if this was the case is knowing id just post all lore -concept art -drafts and scripts #as a sort of -this is what i had been working on for all these years- so at least the people who cared could get an idea of it #and in the unlikely case that it would be liked by alot of people #i would keep working on it despite it making no sense anymore #im rambling on trying to calm myself down #sorry #gotta be exhausting reading my anxious ass tags over and over #;__;

[waterlogged-detective]

i wanna write lore about my characters but i am in the eternal struggle of how do i start

#the pain of wanting to talk about ocs but not what to say #s o b #forget art block how do i deal with oc block #id call it writing block but i always have that lol #vibrates #i wanna talk about my idiots #like the corpse trade in london #especially since depending on what youre reading on site people come back to their bodies or they dont #its not super consistant #like i know darcy wouldnt care but others WOULD depending on if you come back ot your original body #which i think is true??? #idk man its super unclear #but its super morally dubious and I KNOW det doe isnt cool with it at all think of the FIGHTS #couples arguments but make them about philosophy and the fact that youre both actually diametrically opposed to things and you cant always #have a healthy work life balance between the two of you #because even if it works most of the time darcy is going to end up working on someone his husband thinks deserves better #especially if he finds out about the burking darcy did on the surface #cutting out the middleman as it were #and cutting the middleman #anyway i wanna talk about ocs help

[hollowfairybabybat]

gna out myself as so cringe but u all knew that rly but holy shit living tombstone did a remix of the hot song from hazbin(poison) and im obsessed with it anyway gna cum to this (not rly m supposed 2 b edgin again lol) LIKE HE INCLUDED THE I OWN YOU OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT LINE IN IT (sorry angeldust's abusive relationship makes me so needy valentino says n does some things that r rly hot okay and he owns him like uhhhhh)

#i know living tombstone from mlp music days okay id listen to pony music when drawing pony art 😭 im embarrassing #in my defense i was like 15 #but i dont even like fnaf (sorry just not 4 me) and i like those songs plus his other music isnt bad my ordinary life feels like mania to m #hottest character is vaggie or alastor they made him way hotter than in pilot like damn #but also when valentino says something like you do what i want if i want you to fuck 20 guys tonight you will n that whole scene 🥺 #i have mental issues okay i ship silco and jinx in arcane and in the weird way #batbaby rambles

[kate-m-art]

Keep seeing Zelda movie news reactions and like feel like my only contribution right now is I'd much prefer live action to an illumination style animated movie...

#i feel like just the littlest bit its showing their target audience isnt *little* little kids which is somethingg #and idk guess like 4 years or so is still a relatively new loz fan for me but #feel like no matter what they do theres no way to please everyone #not even the games bave been able to do that #theres so many different tones they could aim for with it and w so many different mainline games who know which theyll pull the most from #just like #ofc id rather see animation #the art brain in me goes feral about the possibilities there #but idk... its always written off by vast majority of adults as kiddy stuff and like you dont have to tell me it shouldnt be #gosh do I know #but if theyre wanting to make money and be taken seriously #even find a new audience who arent prev loz fans #im not surprised really that this would be the direction theyre working towards #at the end of the day like we already have cartoon and cdi link and even they get love sometimes on this site #its just another link #and maybe one w wasted potential but that doesnt take away from all the amazing ones we already have so ajdkfkf #forgive the million typos my gosh #too lazy to try to fix them tonight but i promise i know how to spell TT

[surreal-duck]

messing around a bit

#delete later #man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird #trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg #shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me #should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔 #still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess #just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made. #im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough. #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony #well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole #even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw #actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself #but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate #hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week #man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay #hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini #masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh #ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini #aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr #me when i have to do my job at work #i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower #sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit

[tooies]

this is still literally my favourite picture ive ever taken. i dont inow what it is about it but it just feels so good to look at. so calm. so peaceful. hope and joy on planet poison sucklet

id: a photograph of a poison sucklet, a purple, vaguely star-shaped fluffy creature with two white dots for eyes and a third below as a centeal orifice, sits on a mossy and lichen-covered tree branch in the corner of the photo. the tree extends further outwards into the rest of the frame. the tree's branches are covered in moss, lichen, pale green leaves, and white flowers. the light from the sun, diffused by the overcast bright white sky, filters through the leaves, casting a soft ambient glow on the photo.

#is this image description too pretentious? idk #i dont think it is since im describing it like art since thats like. what it is #i want to make sure people can experience the image and the emotions it conveys too‚ not just know whats in it #if i just said ''a poison sucklet sitting on a flowering tree branch'' that wouldnt tell much about how the thing feels you know? #ok maybe i am being a bit pretentious #also nobody is complaining about the id. i havent even posted this yet why am i trying to justify myself so much. probably the mental ilnes #also adderall lol. i am not immune to writing too much. but this is my post. and its in the tags. so i can get away with this #if it was on another post it would be annoying and if it was in the body of the post that would be kinda weird #but here in rhe tags of my own post i may find peace in the ability to talk to myself as much as i want publicly without bothering anyone #isnt this a joy? either way uhh. #sucklet #poison sucklet #yeah thats right im using subject tags for like the first/second time ever. you all have to see my photo

[deerest-me]

honestly i really wish it was a viable job for me to be an art reviewer / critic for online art. some of the stuff on here i genuinely want to write whole essays about.

#unfortunately. i require moneys to live. and work makes it hard fore to write essays about furry art #idk. sometimes you see something and your feelings / thoughts go way beyond what would fit in the tags or a reblog addition. #and youd like to let them know that you thought long and hard about their piece #but there isnt the time... #and id like to be able to say all of this in a professional capacity. so i dont have to be a fan or devotee.

[ouchhq]

.

#i just need to vent for a second i dont really want to bother anyone to talk about this so yea here i am #i have been so depressed for weeks. so depressed. more than i have been wanting to admit to myself #i cant stop crying #i am such a failure at life… i am not a good enough artist or a good enough person for what that matters #i really feel like no one cares about me or about being around me #i have been losing will to even draw because i feel like i am not even that good at that… i know being good isnt the point but still #i feel so bad…. i am literally 24 and i look at how my life is and im like ..? how #and i remember how i used to picture my life at this point when i was little.. i literally thought id have kids by now like ??? i thought #id be starting a family and id be working and starting to put money away or whatever #and id be full of people who love me around.. #but im here laying in bed crying because its just another day of not being able to get out of bed of 9 years of clinical depression #i thought i was doing better since i started art school.. but here i am #barely ate at lunch and still feeling like i might throw up #started thinking again about sh and s*****e after a really long time. kinda heartbreaking when i realized it #i cant focus on anything and i cant work on anything.. all i want to do is sleep #oh well

[silverislander]

wait my parents might've just had their first good suggestion in terms of careers. hang on. wait a second.

#im Looking at the early childhood education program at college rn. like 👀👀👀 #im not totally sold but like. good pay/i do like kids/it could be a fulfilling career for me/all of my background works so well for it #music and arts and multiple languages AND i have experience volunteering with kids + a first aid degree #and now that im actually coping with my anxiety instead of feeling awful all the time my social skills will (gradually) improve #AND the program has work terms so id only have to do one semester before i start getting a feel for the actual job #like. this might actually be an awesome idea. #levi.txt #i dont know for sure! this isnt smth i ever considered and i staunchly have never wanted to be a teacher #and id def have to talk to a real person working rn in the field and make sure its a safe idea for me as a visibly queer person #its canada so im physically safe but i need to know that theres not gonna be any expectations as to appearance beyond the obvious #plus the govt is pushing So Hard to get more of them so it makes me wonder what working conditions are like #but guys im not kidding the pay could be Good. the province is desperate for them rn so hourly wage could get up over the average #and there are a Lot of financial aids already #and again!! fulfilling work that i wouldnt hate (probably) (but i can even ensure that before i graduate!) #the more i think abt this the more i kind of like it a lot

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Being into danganronpa is so funny cause sometimes Ill look at canon spinoff stuff like the anime and come out the other end actively feeling worse about liking this game

#shut up me #cannot overstate how this is not about any fan art I just reblogged gdhsjfs #Just thinking about the dr2 anime #I watched the first episode of the dr1 anime and its not Great #but like in a normal way - its just going a bit too fast + not really explaining things + the animation of everyone except monokuma #isnt the best (though the voice acting is really good) #but man. the dr2 anime is something else. with all its bullshit #Id watch an episode and feel like crap after and think ''... but maybe therell be a funny scene with gundham in the next one'' #but nah i stopped it was too much #i dont even know where this is coming from. had a weird day i suppose #someone asked me about my cosplay and said theyd check out danganronpa and i was like ''MM. MAYBE DONT'' #every time that happens I always have the thought like. what am i doing #anyway. i love danganronpa despite it all. what the hell

[ankhisms]

feeling the sad little pathetic creature emotions this evening suddenly. i dont really want to dwell in feeling bad but it is a familiar deep sad feeling u know. itll be ok i just have to let it out

#to the tune of ghengis khan dont wanna feel like nooo one believes in meeeeeeee im experiencing like. something thats #akin to my very specific paranoia of being paranoid of everyone secretly hating me and talking badly about me or thinking im horrible #secretly where its like my brain is telling me that no one believes in me including my friends and logically i know this isnt true. i have #so many people in my life who i love and appreciate and who have supported me through hardships and who i want to support #in turn. but thats the thing with my paranoia and delusions yknow i can be at least somewhat aware that im being irrational but in the end #that doesnt make it go away. and my brain is just like. no one believes in you when it comes to the creative things you want to do #like my art and acting and poetry. and then my brain tells me that the people around me just pity me and dont want to outright #say that everything i make or try to create sucks because they feel bad for me. and again i KNOW this isnt true. and i #feel bad and feel like im being unfair to my friends bc if this paranoia so i dony want to bring it up to anyone beyond venting like this #and also i feel scared that somehow bringing this specific paranoia up would be like guilt tripping people into like being nice to me or #somethimg my words are weird but my braim very much is like you are not allowed to ask for support or tell people about being insecure #and i do think this overall has something to do with my deep issues of completely lacking any confidence in myself or my abilities #which is due to a life time of abuse etc etc and its hard to build up any confidence in myself when i am still stuck in #my toxic home with no real options to get out at this point for various reasons. but its like #what if i just suck at the things i love to do? what if my art is just bad or mediocre even? what if im a bad actor or a bad poet? what id #even though i feel a deep calling within my soul to create and do these things what if even though i only ever feel truly alive #when i am acting or painting. what if none of it is any good. and no one wants to tell me that because they pity me #again. on a certain level i know this is all just my paranoia and is unreasonable. but its a feeling thats really hard to shake off yknow #anyway. thank u if you read this all i prommy ill be ok i just had to get it out 💖

[sanchoyo]

the job has been going surprisingly ok! I got most of my hours for the week done in like 4 days and im kinda hoping next week i can cut that down to getting it done in like, 3 and then having 4 days off lol. but i do have a webinar thing to attend tomorrow and im dreading it dskkfhkj. i never do well at live meeting call thngies. I do ok at in person ones but for some reason web based ones wig me out x_x (its only like 45 mins and mic only so it could be worse??) auggh

#just experiencing Real Heavy anxiety abt it. like im sure itll be fine #but also its kinda objectively funny to have a training/basics and faq webinar. after ive been working here almost 2 weeks? LMAO?? #a bit late for training isnt it?? 😭 ive been learning on the job... #ive made a few mistakes so far and my brain is like. the person is going to call u out on ALl of them and be mad #but. the guide literally said u have 3 months to get ur accuracy up to a certain level . so i know thats just anxiety talking #BUT STILL. #at least i recognized they were mistakes on my own and dont make them anymore?? like im still learning TwT;; #i dont actually hate the job its very chill and a diff vibe from my prev jobs and the work is kinda interesting #like its prob not what id choose to do ideally. but. not mental breakdown type terrible? #like itd never be enough to live off of and the work loads are very inconsistent but. yk. its better than nothing #and better than going back to retail hell. ill die before i go back. #im kinda just hoping theres a lot of new hires at the webinar so i can just knda sit back and chill w/out having to say much lol..pls dont #be a small group... #i also want to try and list more things on depop tomorrow or this weekend bc idk whats going on w me #but i like. hate evryhting i own suddenly ?? and want to kinda overhaul my style... #ugggh. my brain is full of bees lately #sanchoyorambles #i also wanna post some art sometime soon bc my art blog is STAGNATING but i havent had anything huge to post #im working on smthbehind the scenes but its BIG and taking TIME

[off-center-milk]

Marble hornets not having much of a visually distinctive cast can be really frustrating, especially when ur first watching it. Then multiply that frustration 10x because of all the visual distortion/glitching. But nowadays I'm p thankful bcs wanting to make mh fanart is what pushed me to put more effort into drawing faces and making faces look distinctive from each other.

#literally a characters face and a few minor details abt their outfit r the only things u have to tell them apart sometimes. #right? and thats fine for other shows that have lighting and arent shot on a go pro from 2009 in the middle of the woods at night #put it all together and they can be a bit difficult to tell apart if you dont know whats going on #couple that with middle school me's much simpler anime art style and youve got a recipe for idk who the fuck is who or whats going on #and this. dear friends is why ive become hell bent on avoiding same face syndrome or ehatever u call it. #if my audience can't differentiate between my blorbos pray tell what is the point? there isnt one. id explode #idk. every time i see a mh fanart and cant tell whos who by the faces i die a little bit on the inside /hj #just bcs the actors do have striking faces like. i am not forgetting jays weird little bug eyed stare even if i wanted to his face #is cemented in my brain. like they have nice and memorable faces thatre actually pretty easy to simplify while maintaining likeness #yallre just losers. booooooo!!!!!!! #joking draw how u please idc but it does throw me for a loop. #anyways. thank you troy wagner for forcing me to get better at drawing. again. all my creative growth can be tracked down to MH if u try har #d enough

[rathayibacter]

just ran into a post trying to argue for people to play more indie ttrpgs, but also spending a whole paragraph disparaging people who make weird projects and put them up on itch for $10, going so far as to call them "designers" in scare quotes and say they can't add two numbers together.

this isnt meant to be an attack on that poster or anything, just seeing that made me real fucking sad and i wanted to get my thoughts out. ttrpgs are an art form, and the fact that folks feel liberated to slap together something weird in a few hours and put it up for sale is awesome. in fact, id say it's necessary for the growth of the scene. you might not like every single one of them (lord knows i dont) but every single one of those projects has someone for whom itll resonate with, someone for whom that art might be life-changing. and hey, maybe that person goes on to make something you do like, or maybe they use it to introduce someone else to the hobby, or maybe they just have a good time and the world gets a tiny bit brighter. just because it's not what you want out of a game doesn't mean it's without artistic value.

also, yeah, you should charge for your weird shit! even if it only took an hour to write up and format and publish, you deserve to get paid! if you're worried about accessibility, use community copies, but still let people with the means support your work! artists making weird, low budget, experimental work deserve to eat too.

ghh. i dunno. shit like that really gets me riled up, and i hope this helps someone change the way they think about small stuff in the scene. you dont have to like all of it, but the scene would be a fucking lifeless wasteland without it.

#ttrpgs