#i dont know what else to say anymore

[stil-lindigo]

when people reblog donation posts and say "donate what you can", I really feel like people aren't actually internalising it. not all of us can afford to donate $50, $100, more than that. but i know for a fact that there are thousands of us that can spare $2 or $5, and that all adds up.

it hurts so much to sit here and feel the limits of our own ability. we're not millionaires. we can't instantly fund these escape attempts. but these are bids for life, by people who never asked for the hellfire being rained upon them by sadistic colonialists, greedy for oil and land. they committed no crime other than being born in palestine. and of course it's unfair, to have to shoulder the weight of people's lives when we're all struggling to get by as it is. but our governments relentlessly fail us, they fail to scrape at the bottom of their cold dead hearts for their last dregs of humanity. it is so, so unfair, but it is up to the common man to save each other.

please. look at this spreadsheet. find a fund that resonates with you. and DONATE WHAT YOU CAN.

#i dont know what else to say anymore #i just want all of them to survive #theres truly nothing that could justify this ongoing genocide #and it kills me. that global pushback is so pathetic. gutless and meandering #free palestine #palestine #fuck zionism #fuck israel #we will see an end to zionism and israel within our lifetimes #i might be suicidal but im not dying before i see netanyahu get what he fucking deserves #donation post

[acoraxia]

Healing is unfollowing a massive amount of artists who, at this moment in time, make you uncomfortable and you do not wish to see their content anymore due to personal hcs and views

Remember guys the unfollow and block buttons are there for a reason! Know it! Use it! Learn to love it!

#woof loupen #currently going through an anxiety moment and i realize i cannot be around 90% of the ‘popular’ lm kartists anymore #so here i am only following like 3 people who are into lmk snd those are my siblings LMAO #everyone else idk whars going on and i dont want to know whats going on #HEALING I SAY! #HEALING!!!!! #<- terribly shaky as they start unfollowing people

[poppyseed799]

btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.

#warning: don’t open up these tags I went on a very heated and rather unrelated rant cuz I’ve been mad #trafficblr #life series #secret life spoilers #secret life smp #jimmy solidarity #also I’m sick of seeing ppl celebrate Jimmy surviving because they hate the canary curse fans like SHUT UP!!! LET US HAVE FUN GOD!!! #LIKE LITERALLY EVEN IF NOBODY CAME UP WITH THE CANARY METAPHOR WE WOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALWAYS DYING OK WE DIDNT MAKE UP THAT #HE DIES FIRST HE JUST DOES. GOD. so what if some people make shakespeare sounding posts about the curse that I don’t understand. we are JUST #having fun and making connections where we don’t need to BECAUSE ITS FUN. NOT CUZ WE DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. sorry for the past few #days I’ve been genuinely mad at this fandom’s growing hatred towards its own community. #LIKE IM FINE IF ITS NOT YOUR THING BUT GOD. WE ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING 😭😭😭 THE LORE LITERALLY WRITES ITSELF OR IS WRITTEN BY MARTYN LOL #I’ve just been getting SO TILTED man. like ohhh yeah okay ur right i said too much guess I won’t say anything anymore #does anyone else genuinely not know wtf ppl are talking about when they say a certain hc takes over everything about the character #cuz I literally see so much varied Jimmy content yet I’ve seen several ppl complain that ppl ignore aspects of his character in favor of #WHATEVER when I literally don’t see that happening to him. step out of ur circle or something I don’t even HAVE a circle man

[kuruk]

why'd my adderall xr kick in so late I fell asleep after an hour and woke up feeling it after a 2 hour nap 😑 jm wasting it by being asleep the first half.. I do love waking up feeling rested and not confused at least but come on

#still such a lifecbanging difference sorry #i donr know if the constant sleepiness or the fatigue is what's worse but whatevevr it is just lifts so much easier like this help #i love thinking i can hold on to so many tboughts and care enough about them to even write or say them.. #or even just staying in my head just that it's clearer and i have energy to even think at all #i get scared of the way my brain feels so disorganized and mixed up like i forget how language works and i cant remember anything anymore #everything feels like the same constant slush like someone turned the contrast down ans the information the world sends me is sanded down #none of that information ever hits i feel like it's never actually me reacting to it i feel like im watching myself on autopilot. #like km just so tired in every way i cant even relieve myself of boredom anymore because it takes too much energy to even think #and i know everyone on stimulants loves to talk and say things and whatever sorry help but i missed thinking i missed actually reacting 😭 #a lot of the time i dont feel real just extremely uncomfortable for no reason. and that's the strongest thing there everything else is dull #like i funally feel awake and conscious and such. like things in this world happen to me and i interact with things and irs real...

[cephalonheadquarters]

Damn. I'm free

#I know i stated a lot before that im not involved with fandoms anymore but like. it just hit me randomly. Im Free #I still absolutely have interests. This is very obvious. But i have no desire of trying to make stuff for others anymore #(except fir my friends hehah) #When i was in the ttcc & pikmin fandoms that was the WORST. Very anxiety inducing year for me because i kept worrying about other people #and what they thought of me and my art #Also those fandoms were just really annoying lol. Toontown more than annoying i cant say anything about it here iuhhh there was #an insane amount of insane things happening with that community its.still happening actualky LOL. I hear about stuff from my friends #But anyways. I just feel so disconnected from everything in a good way if that makes sense #i already got friends and im finally feeling like this blog is mine yaaay #Who gaf about fandoms #Be free..... #This might be because all i care about is my ocs now (& its late and i have a huge burst of energy right now for some reason) #Yes i am very afraid that the focus on them will end but i really dont know what else there is for me to become attached to anymore #Splatoon is my life babeyyy at least it has been for almost 6 years #ill always come back to splatoon❤️ #Touhou and woy are the 2nd and 3rd most thought about interests for me #I dont post about them often as in like. make my own art that much. But i think about them almost as much as splatoon #Grahhh

[simonstamenovic]

ok hi haha lol I dont rly feel like going in circles in my head forever trying to figure out whether, among other "smaller" things, being left alone in a room w only media as a child and not feeling like I had even a semblance of a personality for most of my life counts as "trauma"

a lot of these parts of me are new, I'm just recently putting names to them and it feels as though I'm developing facets of personalities in my mid 20s after a lifetime of either feeling like I'm basically just ADHD in a person, an amalgamation of kins shoved into a body, or something made of guilt Also shoved into a body.

I don't like, claim to know what this means. but I don't think a lot of my current mutuals would feel comfortable interacting w me bc I don't necessarily believe in the black and white of what plurality is. I'm not able or planning on getting any formal diagnosis and while I'm discussing this w my therapist they're very much not one to pathologize

I definitely don't feel like one person but I dont think id count for most of you as a "system" as the different parts of me feel as though theyre still developing. take all of this as you will, I'm not going to stress my body out more by trying to figure out "what" I am as I've been doing that my whole life and I'm kinda tired of it.

I know that I'm not entirely one thing and feel Enough like multiple things for myself, but blurred in a lot of ways. like some sort of gem with many different facets.

not sure where to go w this tbh take this how you will. im not comfortable saying I'm leaning one way or the other regarding system discourse, (<- not a phrase i want to use but the best shorthand i have) as I genuinely don't believe the human brain is nearly that black and white.

I'm both "me" and very much not "me" at times. idk what this means but ik I'm not comfortable saying im just pandora and im not sure im "allowed" to say im a system and im not sure if it matters, or should matter, regarding friends. im going to be like this regardless, id unfollow me if this grey area im likely to stay in bothers you

if you don't want me refollowing I'd probably block, too, as my memory is bad

#puts this in my drafts to publish at atime to cause maximum damage to my #social circle and mental health bc i LOVE conflict and pain #< A JOKE lmao this has been causing me severe distress for ages so whatever unfollow me idc #outgoing transmission #idk when im gonna publish this ive been going back n forth w my therapist a lot #rhis maybbe repetitive im just uhh tired and have been legitimately driving myself crazy overthis for ages #bc honestly like i didnt exist as a person until age 14 at least and that person #wasnt... me. isn't me they dont exist to me anymore and im not sure #the one before 19 existed either its all fractured #is that trauma?? or is it something else. does that make me endogenic to you?? i really dont know or understand #you can decide for yourself. but im not comfortable saying either way. #i barely feel comfortable existing. i dont exist? as i type this 'i' is wrong but nothing else fits so far #we could go for we and we have befkre bht so far its so nonexistent whats the opposite of i #nothing...? [ ] #some blank. the dilemma is that nothing is real. #these tags are not. genuinly i am fake. #this will get published sometime in a haze and this body will wake up to a disaster. #not enough bridges burned i guess. sure. #back 2 sleep dont send me asks abt this jst block if ur gonna block

[081314]

『願いよ響け』 - Lyrics & Translation

『願いよ響け』 is the name of the song that Malleus, Idia, and Azul perform together at the end of the Glorious Masquerade event. (The song title can be translated as "Let my wish resound!", but I've seen people in the EN side of the fandom have also been calling it "Make a Wish", so call it what you may.)

Below is my take at translating the lyrics! And I've also put some notes in my tags.

夜明けに怯えて 幾度と願う

ひとりぼっちの空に別れと

愛の救いを

Fearing the dawn to come, I make my wish again and again

One wish to bid farewell to that lonely sky

And another for the salvation of love

祈りは遠く

紅蓮を照らして

My prayers, so far away

Shine down on that distant blaze of crimson

鐘よ響け 僕の願いを運んで

今日も温かな夢 高く手を伸ばして

Let the bells resound!

Let their echoes carry with them my heart's desires

Today, as well, I had that same warm dream

And now I lift up my hands, reaching out so high above

ああ もし許されるのなら

喜び 悲しみ 共に生きよう

Ahh, and if it's truly alright

Then let us go through life together, in joy and in sorrow

輝く人の声 満ちている笑顔

��うか僕に 光よ導け

The voices of the people shine, their faces brimming with smiles

I ask of you, O Light! Please, guide them to me!

焦がれてた素晴らしい朝へ

目覚めたら歩き出そう

僕の夢とともに

Once I awake, let us set forth together

Hand in hand with my dreams

Towards that glorious morning I’ve so longed for

鐘よ響け 僕の願いを運んで

今日も華やぐ街に 胸を踊らせてる

Let the bells resound!

Let their echoes carry with them my heart's desires

Today, as well, my heart leaps for joy

Here in this radiant city

ああ いま 美しく咲いた

喜び 悲しみ 皆で歌おう

Ah, and now it has bloomed so beautifully

In joy and in sorrow, let us all sing together

眩しく夢に見た 分かち合う愛を

どうか僕に 光よ導け

未来(あし��)へ

O Light! Please, bring my love to me!

Oh, how it shone in my dreams, the love that we shared

And now onwards, to tomorrow

#my tl #twst #twisted wonderland #glorious masquerade #malleus draconia #azul ashengrotto #idia shroud #i've swapped the order of some of the lines to make them flow better in english just an fyi #i left 紅蓮 as crimson (well “blaze of crimson” so it makes sense in english) cause i dont think he's directly mentioning the flowers #rollo said the true identity of the calamity was lost to time and no one knows anymore what it was #they just know the town was “dyed bright red” #so i dont think the singer is directly saying crimson flowers or else that would kind of go against what we were told in game... #紅蓮 by itself means “bright red” or “crimson lotus” and the flowers in the game are referred to as 紅蓮の花 “crimson flowers” #it can also be used with reference to fire like 紅蓮の炎 #so i choose to keep that line vague bc whatever he's talking about he seems to only be alluding to it rather than saying it by name #also in the 鐘よ響け 僕の願いを運んで lines i put “heart's desires” instead of “wish” to make it sound less awkward with the repeating w's #i asked my jp penpal what she thought the いま 美しく咲いた was in reference to but she also wasnt sure #she said he could be talking about the city or his wish or the joys and sorrows. so i left it vague but i lean towards it being the city #cause in the line before he says the city is 華やぐ which is like full of life/cheerful/brilliant #and 華 can often have a connotation that describes something that is flowerlike. something that is beautiful/graceful like a flower #so i think he's connecting bloom to 華やぐ and saying the city is radiant (like a flower) and now it's blooming #i went back and forth a lot over 喜び 悲しみ 共に生きよう. he could mean live together with our joys and sorrows #or we go through life together in joy and in sorrow #deuce said in mal's vignette the song was about the singer's hope of being able to meet a lot of people #and in the previous line ああ もし許されるのなら he's like if im permitted/allowed to do this so its something he thinks he needs permission to do #and considering quasi's story i felt it was more likely he's asking to walk through life alongside the people through good times and bad #cause in the movie a big part of his story is that frollo drills into quasi that he's not WORTHY of the people's attention and affection #so thats why i went with that interpretation #喜び 悲しみ 皆で歌おう is also unclear. could be sing of our joys and sorrows or sing in joy and sorrow #this is a typical jp song that omits a lot of particles verbs and prepositions so we fans just gotta make our best guesses unfortunately

[hayaku14]

kaishin au where kaito unwillingly received immortality from pandora. kaito is torn and broken upon the burden of eternal life. shinichi promises to stay with him forever. to do so, he drinks aptx 4869 every 10 years.

years go by and soon everyone in their life passes. kaito and shinichi learned how to create the poison from haibara before she left the world as well. but though it works in consistently turning back time for shinichi, it is still a deadly poison. accumulated, it slowly weakens him.

as shinichi's body slowly deteriorates, the poison chipping away at his life, kaito spirals. once again, torn and broken, kaito is desperate. feeling this to be their last years together, he decides to find a way to stay with shinichi forever.

a way to reverse his immortality.

a way to die together.

#kaishin #dcmk #detective conan #kudou shinichi #kuroba kaito #dc prattles #dont look at me idk why but this angst came out of fucking nowhere too #this came into my brain and i had to vomit it all here or else it'll plague my mind and die there #i actually wrote that they have half a century left but ig it's better to leave it vague #i think at one point they would have to fake their deaths #but shinichi's body couldnt possibly handle changing back and forth if he's past his 50s right? #what im trying to say is that make this au extra angsty by making them fake their deaths in their late 20s or early 30s #this is haibara's advice as someone who knows shinichi's biology the most and how the poison works #they could probably tell their close friends and family though (making it less angsty cause i remembered i am GODS WEAKEST SOLDIER) #lowkey shinichi at the point where kaito decides to look for a way to immortality is already either bed ridden #on a wheelchair #or at least cant run anymore and is easily tired #(THIS AU IS JUST AN ELABORATE SICK FIC AND MY ADDICTION TO TIRED SHINICHI SHOWING) #changed aptx 4689 to 4869! im sorry i wrote this at 2 am lmao

[frecklystars]

OUCH

#imagine living your entire life made to be Perfect and thats all you think you are made for. perfection #and then thats ripped away from you from a force outside of your control #and then when you return home hoping to god you can be perfect again #your own home is ripped away from you from a person that you considered a trustworthy friend. or boyfriend i guess #someone you had love for even if it was platonic #and then imagine you are able to reclaim that home but it's not yours anymore #it doesn't feel like home if you are no longer what you were made for #and everyone gets to feel like theyre home. but you dont. you cannot. you are back to where you began #except you dont think you really have anywhere else to go #but you feel this ache in your chest because you know you have to say goodbye #UGUHHHHHH #IM NORMAL ABOUT THIS MOVIE #barbie movie #greta gerwig #love notes #💕♫♪ ♡ You're the pink in my cheeks 🎀🌸✨♡

[asiancatboy]

whenever i talk gender stuff it's always abt being transmasc n masc euphoria n binding or getting my hair cut again or whatever n like that's fine i do love all these things evidently but it is funny to me bc i feel more of a connection to being a woman than i do a "man" or whatever

#not that i don't it's just like different #also i think it just highlights an interesting way in how i use my blog since i don't really document my every single thought anymore #same way i overcompensate with masculinity bc it hurts to be misgendered as a cis woman irl #i do that when just posting my little posts #i was abt to say smth else but i forgot bc i just got a ticket in from a customer who needs help. & i don't know what with. bc they #literally just attached an entire 6 week email thread like pleaseeeeee. pleaseeeee can you not 😭 #just tell me what you need dont make me go through weeks worth of shit for this. fuck you #7

[nightfallsystem]

u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.

just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity

#tw vent #tw suicide #ingnore this. btw. or dont i cant stop you lol #imsso close to cutitng off everyone i know so they can be happier i alreadyblocked a few people i knewnow ionly know one person irl #imf so glad she found other people so she'll be completely fine if i disappear out of her life her life sounds like its going great actuall #ruining my life ^_^ #i dont want to talk to people but for their sake #IM GENUINELY SO FUCKING STUPID AND UPSETTING TO TALK TO . #does anyone even love me anymore #im probably doign this for my own selfish reasons #i dont go outside anymore for everyone else sake. so they dont have to see my ugly face. or deal with my awful speech #at least i can still draw.... only way i can mkae people happy.. #im mean to myself more than anyone else is mean to me at htis point. why #im not even capable of becoming mentally well at hthis point. im a lost cause #tell me what you rlly think . just tell me to shut the fuck up. just call me annoying. whatever u say cant be worse than what i do to mysel #pleasee im just dragging u down and making u feel worse whenever u tlak to me DO YOU NOT REALISE IT #i dont want to feel better for myself i want to feel better so i can be useful to others #i fucking hate people but i love them a lot . i gues i just hate how i affect others. social outcast i guess

[houseofoddballs]

Finally got the urge to write for the first time in a while, only to discover that my writing document

Almost 70 pages in Google docs of fanfiction and general drabbles from almost 3 years

Is gone. Poof. Kaput. Unable to be recovered. I'm reeling, in shock, livid and devastated.

#I dont know what else to say #im just #I cant #so much work #so much time #gone #Kutie talks #Venting #ranting #so many emotions #I just... #im so disheartened #i dont even wat to write anymore...

[enden-k]

once in 3 months i make the mistake checking the like rb ratio and considering deleting my blog and just move to twt but this will pass right hahah just like my need to pull kirara hmmmmm

#sorry that my art isnt neat enough to be rb like fr im trying idk what else to do anymore hah #usually i dont care about this anymore but sometimes i rlly do make the mistake checking numbers and getting depressed about my skills #even tho i know that ppl rb my art doesnt say anything about my worth but damn it rlly is upsetting #anw #ill go play ts4 for the next 2 weeks now or smth idk bye lmaoo #personal #tbd #ignore me btw ill prob get over it quickly and jsut do my thing not looking again once i calmed down hah #anw thanks to the ppl who actually rb my stuff or leave kind words if it wasnt for u i prob would have stopped sharing my doodles long ago #so thanks for the support!!! <3

[hmsmilkbone]

honestly. I don't really have a lot of interest in jjk anymore, which is super frustrating as the story foundation is really interesting. I have my favorite characters, and I'm not really interested in reading beyond this point.

As a whole, I'm not a huge fan of dropping stories just because they don't go the way you want. In general I personally try not to do this, but stories where the author clearly hates the material or the audience so much they're willing to destroy the story to do so are not enjoyable. I really don't think gege even really likes writing jjk anymore.

There may be some change that I hear about months from now where something worked out one way or the other, but in general I feel like this story is not going to resolve in a way that feels like reading it was a worthwhile experience. And like, for good OR bad. Not every story has a happy ending, but this is really not particularly interesting and I don't feel the need to continue a story where the writer isn't even interested in what happens or how it advances anything outside of their personal pettiness. Feels very much like grr Martin. All the meaningless death and abuse without any real redeeming qualities.

I'm trying to remind myself that not every author wants to be a storyteller. Not every story is good. It's ok to read stories that aren't the best simply because you want to see where it goes, but gege isn't superior in some way, and i dont 'trust that he's cooking'. Even if the story turns around in an interesting or strategic way, I really am not particularly impressed. Ordinarily I would stay along for the ride, but I can't bring myself to care about something even the author doesn't care about. :/

#jjk spoilers #idk i really just dont have any expectations anymore #i love reading books apart from manga and ive had to put down a few because they felt like this #and i have almost always found that in the end my perception of the author and their story was accurate #it makes me sad seeing this unfold in this way #but the shibuya arc which is apparently the least ljked arc in the series #is stretching on forever and people arent enjoying it #anecdotally ive seen a lot of people drop the series #and eventually its just gojng to be all the grimdark losers who unironically love shit like this #it just feels very much like a story for men who hate people #it feels like all the weirdos who made the joker their personality and all the dudes who cant breathe without talking about fight club #or like.. say shit about how the liberals are ruining media like thats the kind of person i see talking about jjk most of the time now #using slurs and not even having intelligent conversations about what's happening #the conversation is usually 'sukuna mid no cap' 'are you stupid gojo is mid stop copium' #and that exchange is repeated over and over like. you have nothing else to add at this point? #i mean i know its primarily bc honestly there really isnt any depth to the story beyond that but my god #what an insufferable way to write or receive a story #and honestly!! i really dont feel like jjk fits into a kids story category at this point #so i do actually feel ljke it is reasonable to expect better writing #not that stories aimed toward kids are bad but one piece is a good example of a story geared more towards children or young adults #adults CAN enjoy it but oda intentionally does not make the story so upsetting that kids cant read it and feel reflected in the events #but jjk is very very different and i think the drop in the quality of writing is reflected in the growing toxicity of the fanbase #anyways.. if you read jjk & youre feeling upset its ok to step away and check in once a month when you can mentally / emotionally prepare #i had to enforce a no read/watch accountability pact with my friends because it was making their depression worse again #no story is worth your health. gege does not give a flying fuck about you. you need to take care of yourself. #im just enjoying my sandbox with the characters and when the story is over ill check back in #theres no right way to experience the story but if its not healthy for you #you wont miss anything by unplugging #and you may find that you really dont want to get back into it when you read it again to check on the story every once in a while #jjk 237

[real-life-cloud]

im GOING to write today ........ i WILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#the sky speaks #i havent used twitter in so long and lemme say i missed using tumblr like twitter. just putting my long rambly notes into a single post #anyways onto the rambling #i havent been writing or drawing like at alllll #too busy #also was so sick #but now that i have my new job and i know what my schedule is gonna sorta look like #3 days at joann 2 days cleaning w mom and 2 days nothin #PLUS i dont have to spend money on therapy til after the new year now #and mom is coming home and she seems rly optimistic abt sobriety #im feeling like i can finally create again !!!! #i have 2 creative presents i need to do before christmas #but aside that and 1 prompt still in my inbox (that i rly wanna do anyways) everything else i wanna do is all for Me :) #im kinda put out bc a lot of stuff i wanted to do this fall got shelved.. i wanted to make bday art of kirishima xinyan and kazuha. #i wanted to open comms. but im way too rusty w art rn to be confident doing that. maybe after new years? #god i wanted to come out to my parents properly. the day my mom went to rehab was national coming out day. #it was also one of my last therapy sessions. i came out to her instead #i still managed to do stuff tho. started my new job and got together with friends TWICE !! and i've kept up w doing my moms job alone #idk where im going w this anymore ive lost steam. but yeah. i wanna write today! idk what yet. i hav so many wips i could work on..