#i dont even use facebook I dont know why it upset me so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rayymanic · 11 months

Text

05/29/2023

tw? kind of in detail/graphic talk of sh

Today was a very good day. I walked a mile, did a workout, and rollerskated. I also had a yogurt bowl which was very tasty! I didn't have any self harm urges until roughly ten minutes ago? I was just laying with my cat and i remembered pictures I had taken of my cuts and missed the feeling, but I got past it and did my face care routine to distract myself, worked wonders. I still feel off though, like something is missing. Ive been self harming for almost four years now and I always had open wounds. Ive come to realize that i dont feel like myself without open wounds. I know the feelings will pass and over time i will heal mentally and get out of this mindset, but it sucks right now.

While my stepmom was doing her daily bodycheck on me to make sure i havent cut, she mentioned taking me to see a dermatologist later on and having them prescribe a scar cream. I dont know why but this really bothered me. Ive told her and my other parents that i dont mind my scars because they are a part of me now and i want them to fade/heal naturally, and i dont know if they dont care what i think or if they dont like them. I dont want my scars to fade quickly. I have to live with the consequences of my actions. She makes me put on this over the counter scar cream every day and i hate it so much, i dont even have control of my own body at this point. Im pretty sure they want my scars gone because they think its ugly but i dont. i think its beautiful. it reminds me that i survived. and im proud of that.

My grandmother had to bodycheck me last week because i was at her house. she is a very conservative, christian woman who is known for being judgmental so i was scared. I mean she went outside and cried on the porch when she found out that im queer so i didnt know how she would take this She asked me how i cut and what i used and why i cut and she told me that its going to leave scars. im pretty aware of that, one look in the mirror and i can tell. she asked if she could take pictures , why would she need pictures? i told her no and she seemed to get a little more upset. i dont really like her,, she told my parents about my facebook account (i had them blocked) and got me in trouble so ,,

i was supposed to start therapy two weeks ago, but i didnt. my dad and stepmom are notorious for not taking my mental health seriously and putting things to do with it aside to do other, meaningless things. i was told im going to start this week but im not sure. the school therapist told me that im going to be doing two kinds of therapy - regular talk therapy and intense trauma therapy. my stepmom insists on doing trauma therapy with me and the school therapist accidentally let it slip that my "therapist" would tell my parents everything we talk about. how am i supposed to get better if i cant confide in my own damn therapist? does that not break the patient confidentiality rules therapists have? they think i was cutting because of the trauma i endured when i was 9-13 but its not. ive almost healed from what happened, the reason i was cutting was because i have severe chronic depression, my pills werent working, and i hate the enviorment im in. i hate the people, the scenery, everything. whats funny is my dad and stepmom are blaming everyone but themselves when they are the actual reason i was cutting. thanks dad! thanks for fucking nothing

on a brighter note, i reached 1 month sh free a couple days ago! thats really big for me, i havent gone over two weeks in years. im sorry this post is so long and messy, i just need to get how i really feel off my chest. i hope whoever reads this has a wonderful morning/day/night and has lovely dreams <3

this has a lot of spelling errors, its late at night. i should be sleeping,,,

#sh recovery #self healing #sh recov #vent

0 notes

chelleztjs18 · 1 year

Note

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 😌

I have been sleeping early than usual actually. I think I am just ready for the last few days to past but it feels like the week is dragging lol

Oh wow that is pretty late. I'm surprised that Emily had energy to open presents and play at that time hahaha I would have been telling her to go sleep or santa will take the presents back lol just kidding I wouldn't do that to a 2 year old.

By the way, has it snowed there yet?

That's exciting! Are you guys going to just drive to Texas or fly again?

I tried moscow mule once.. was not a big fan of it 😅 I think I only really ordered it for the little mug hahahaha 😆

Same, I think most places that I've been to that served tiramisu only uses sponge cake. Yeah, I'm planning on making that mango dessert again but with less condensed milk. I am already too sweet. Hahahaha just kidding 😂

CA does have a lot of filipino places 😭 my uncle lives there and I want to visit him next year so that he can take me to all the restaurants that have good filipino chefs. Here there's only one place I know that was open a few years ago, but I don't know if they still are after the whole covid thing 🥲 there is a lady that I found on Facebook that caters and does pick up orders for filipino food though. I ordered her food once and it was decent.

Do you guys have Indonesian snacks that you'd recommend? Since I can't find any Indonesian restaurants here, I may be able to get snacks at the small oriental store we have in Omaha.

Hm that's interesting 🤔 all your movie choices have barely any dramatic scenes. Have you always been like that, not wanting to cry because you think it shows weakness? (Sorry if that came out bad and rude, I don't mean to be rude)

I have to think about mine too because I am drawing blank for 3 movies. I can only think of one that always make me cry and that's the Phantom of the Opera - the part where they sing all I ask of you and then the ending part around where Christine kisses the phantom.

Next, name 3 movies that you could watch on repeat and never get tired of.

By the way, I made a separate account and started writing! Well I don't know if you'd consider it writing, but I posted mostly conversation stuff between r and characters (mainly Wanda).

-CuriousGeorge

Hello hello corn-punn!

How r u today? Aw thats no fun u sleep earlier than usual.. just kidding.

Why u cant wait for the days to past? R u that ready for new year? 😆😁 whats ur plan for new year?

Haha yeah, i let her play but then she followed whn i said it's time to bed..thank god..hahahha.

No, it hasnt been snow or anything here..im so upset right now..🙄 it's not even that cold here.. only 66.

We r driving to t3xas.. it's only 3.5 hours.

Haha i love moscow mule. It's one of my favorite cocktails. I have a set of the copper mugs n the shakers. My husband gave me. Lol. I guess i love moscow mule that much that he gave them to me.lol. my most favorite drink is apple martini and a cocktail named buttery nipple 😅 (it's baileys and butterschotch schnaps).

Haha i used to joke like that about me being too sweet already n thats why i dont need any more sugar on anything 🤣

But i agree with u, u r a sweet person so dont put too much condensed milk,okay?

Hmm right now i cant think of any snacks.. i like Beng Beng it's like snickers but more chocolaty n less caramel. I like the superman wafers.hahah. there is this sweet tea it's called teh botol but it's in a box 😅 it's my favorite. It's very famous there.

Ah i see. Yeah sometimes facebook have some information of our country food..sometimes it can be pricey though. U can google indonesian food n if u have any questiom about it, u can ask me.

Yeah,i'm always like that. I guess it's because i try to look strong in front of my sister. U know, to be a good example for her.

My sister is more expressive than i am. I would try n pretend to be strong until i break down n even that i usually choose to be alone when i have a break down. 😅

So it will hurt my pride too if i cry just because of movies.

I love phantom of the opera.. n that All I Ask Of You is one of my favorite song from that show.

3 movies i never get tired to watch..well,since im in the mood of rebel so i will give u more than 3. 😅😆

1. The Proposal

2. White Chick

3. Any modern family episodes

4. Devils Wear Prada

5. Age Of Ultron

6. Greta

7. 13 Going 30

8. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

9. Hot Chicks

How bout u?

Next questions

Cheerio!

#chellez answers #ask answered #anon answered #curious george anon

0 notes

sunriseandstrawberrymilk · 2 years

Text

Mondays were better because of you.

Monday was my least favored day of the week. Mondays meant back to work, to school, back to facing my responsibilities. Monday meant Freedom-end-day. That is how I used to feel about Mondays.

Years fast approached, a lot of Mondays passed and I was now a student who has completed her Junior years. I struggled to wake up one Monday, which Is supposed to be the day I go to school and practice our Graduation March. So I told myself, "Let's just go tomorrow. I'm sure it'll be alright. I'm late anyway." In fact, I could still go. I just didn't because damn it why should I?

I'm not sure about the date but It was around the end of june, tuesday. when I finally woke up early and went to school and attend our practice. I beat myself up just to go and my half-hearted will made me lazy to even do my make up and whatnots all the ladies do my age. Now, I wasn't aware I'm on the honor roll. My classmates said the Awardees are seated in the front seats. So I did and went to the gym, completely unaware of the seat arrangements.

Just then, I saw the most charming guy in our school. I never bothered to roam my eyes on our school's students because It didnt ever cross my mind that there would be a handsome guy. I immediately regretted it. By far, you were the most charming one I saw... ever. and I sat just right... beside you.

This guy... His eyes were the prettiest crescent shape eyes I've ever seen. He had a childlike personality, similar to my baby cousins. He had a cheerful aura around him. And I could never take my eyes off him. I wish I went to school last monday.

We were only allowed twice to go to school, Mondays and Tuesdays Until July 11, our Moving Up Ceremony. During those times, I was glad you were talkative. You talked to me. I went home blushing each day we interacted. Each day I sat beside you, Each day we were close. I wish I didn't meet you at the very end of our school year. I wish I met you sooner, earlier.

I looked forward to every Monday, because of you. One Monday I wondered if we could ever be friends on facebook. The only social media platform I know where I could reach you. I filmed the flow of the ceremony, and you unexpectedly gave me your social media profile and asked me to send you what I filmed. So I did. We now had a small interaction online. and I was beyond glad. Finally. Even if we part ways, I can still reach you.

I wished for many mondays to come. because mondays meant I could see you again. During those days we practiced in school, We became friends. You showed me the game you always play. Told me some things about yourself. Teased me, joked with me. It meant so much for me whenever you smiled and laughed. Yuan, I wish you the world would give you more reasons to smile. It suits you so much.

Your friend might've liked me and honestly I got upset. I told your friend once that I have a boyfriend even tho I dont. Maybe you thought I have a special someone already but Yuan, I don't, and If I do, that someone would be you. Oh but you probably like your girl bestfriend as well. You always searched for her while I always look for you.

I didn't have a choice but to avoid you because the guy I suspect likes me is always next to you. But from afar, I stare at you all the time... craving a small "Hi, Xy!" from you. Wishing I could casually call you "Yuan!" too.

The night before our Moving Up Ceremony quickly came. I was making paper roses. One for My Mom, and a spare one too. I thought maybe you would need one. I bought an expensive candy from M&S in case you'd want a candy too. I prepared everything. Tomorrow Monday would be the last day I'd ever see you. My wish for many mondays unfortunately didn't come true, but it's okay as long as I get to seat right beside you.

Was what I thought before going to bed.

But my Mom and her Boyfriend faught and I couldn't sleep. 3 AM passed. "Should I just stay awake?" I told myself. But I was tired from crying and dozed off. Only to wake up 30 minutes before the ceremony starts. I panicked. I still had to do my make up, shower.. I got mad at My Mom and her Boyfriend. This was all their fault! If only... If only they didn't fight. I could've had my rest. I would've woken up early... If only...

But I knew it's my fault.

The Moving Up Ceremony ended... and I never sat beside you. Never gave you the spare rose. Never shared the candy with you. Never talked to you... I cried. What a horrible monday this monday was. My first medal award wasn't enough to make me happy. I cried. All throughout the ceremony, I cried. You sat beside your girl bestfriend I thought. "Damn so I was a hindrance between them all along." I laughed bitterly. "It's okay, I'm sure he's not the only handsome guy you'll have a crush on." I wiped my tears secretly.

But your eyes were like no other. You're the only Yuan I know, the only Yuan I like.

and I cried again.

I had a picture with you, did a high-five with you. Somehow, I got a little less sad. I gave my father the spare rose. Shared the candy with my cousin and friends. I still wish I sat beside you at the end but I guess I can't force something that was never meant for me.

Later on, I found out you enrolled to the same school I planned to enroll on. And I hoped maybe I could see you again there. But memories of the Moving Up Ceremony kept haunting me. After all, I would enroll this Monday, July 18. The school has limited slots for students and I thought, maybe I'd be disappointed again. Maybe this tangent hope of mine to see you again, would become another false hope. Just like what happened last week. I miss you, truly. but what's not meant to be can't ever be.

So if ever, we don't become schoolmates again. I hope you know, I was enchanted to meet you. Mondays were better because of you, Yuan.

-X.S.U.

#Spotify

0 notes

tiredsadpeach · 4 years

Text

I’m just so!! Fucking!!! Confused!!!!!

#you say you love me and im your best friend and you care so much about me and then post shit like that i dont get it!!!!!!!!!!#and i dont know how to confront you because of my past experiences #i know you arent them but i still cant risk it i dont wanna lose you #yeah theres the bad things but theyre so few and far between #just fuck i dont wanna be alone again and i guess i didnt upset my other best friend? because they wanted to play animal crossing with me #but i am not in the mood because ive just been hhhhhhhhhhh #youre not even trans why do you put down the ones considered ‘quirky’ and ‘cringey’#our lives arent a fucking joke and we arent hurting the community #fucking bigots hurt the community not us for fucks sake ive told you this #and you know im genderfluid and if you didnt know after a year idk what to tell you #only bio it isnt in is insta its in my facebook and wattpad and youve seen those #and?? im pretty sure?? the first time i came to your house we talked about it at like 5am????#so why WHY would you post something like that #god im sorry i keep venting to yall i just dont know what else to do #shes actually a really great friend and would probably apologize and take it down #and try to understand that yes gender is a spectrum like a fucking scientist said that #also the last person that told me that wasnt true was that bastard so maybe thats why im reacting to badly #i just dont know how to tell her it upset me #ive had so many experiences with others where i told them something they did upset me and they get mad and yell or something #i just cant take that i cant i cant

2 notes · View notes

dollanganger-in-the-attic · 2 years

Note

Hi, I'm new to the fandom side of VCA (aside from adoring complete VCA when it was running), and I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of information about why everyone seems to hate AN? I don't have any strong feelings on him, but if he's a bad person, I want to beware. I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go or who to ask.

Hmm im not sure if i know of like a mega thread with all the reasons many VCA fans dislike him so i can only speak to what I feel and what others have told me.

For me its really only a matter of opinion. I still enjoy the books he’s written, the Landry series is prob my second fav vca series in fact. I just don’t agree with certain decisions he’s made. And a lot of it might even be coming from the publisher rather than him personally.

For example: its hard to trust Andrew Neiderman when he was introduced to us under false pretenses. When he took over ghostwriting for VCA, fans were told that he was just finishing the manuscripts and ideas that VCA left behind. But that ended up being a lie and he was just writing new material under her name. He’s even stated that there were no manuscripts ever given to him, before changing his statement. And the family confirmed that none of Virginia’s unfinished work for the casteel series was used in the final books. Anyway to me it seems strange he was chosen at all, considering VCA wrote a lot about what it means to be a young girl terrorized by men- so… you replace her with a male writer? Strange choice. That’s probably why his identity was hidden by the Andrew’s family for quite a while.

To me that wasn’t egregious on its own. He was under contract to create so many books for the VCA brand anyways. But my thinking changed when the fanfiction works started being published. After VCA’s last close relative died, Andrew Neiderman suddenly started taking over works that he didn’t write. He started messing with the original series like Flowers in the Attic and My Sweet Audrina. It felt very disrespectful that not only was he trying to add to a series that was not his own- but he tried to change the canon that Virginia created! He published the Diary series and brought Cory back to life even though Cory was not his character to toy with. It upset a lot of the fans because it was a blatant cashgrab. One that he is still milking with the “first corrine” books. Mind you, his original contract stated that he was PROHIBITED from creating any stories with existing VCA characters. They tried to protect Virginia’s original works and i guess once no one was left alive to stop him, he thought it was free game. Which is yucky.

Another personal grievance of mine is that I’ve seen him be introduced in articles and interviews as the creator of Flowers in the Attic when that is absolutely untrue. Stolen valor lol it feels like he isn’t confident enough in his own work that he needs to tie himself as tightly as he can to Flowers in the Attic. Its like he completely took over the name V.C. Andrews and believes he IS the real Vc Andrews since hes written more books under the name than actual Virginia did. And so with the name he thinks he now owns all of her works- such as Flowers in the Attic etc

Even this biography feels disrespectful and untrustworthy. It feels very much like another cash grab because AN knows he can say anything he wants about Virginia because she isn’t here ti dispute it.

I don’t blame anyone who likes him and his works. And i dont think every fan needs to be in the know about this sentiment. Its ok to just be a fan of the books and not look into the ghostwriter’s approval ratings. It’s just something I feel a bit strongly about so I tend to speak up on it. I hope I shed some light on where I’m coming from. If you’re interested to know more I’d suggest joining one of the VCA fangroups on facebook and asking around. There are people who feel stronger than I do and have more insight :)

96 notes · View notes

onesheeptwosheepandachicken · 2 years

Note

Dipshit the only people who like the bees are bee shippers, someone being anti-bb is a good thing.

Fans of other ships (namely ones involving Blake or Yang, like freezerburn or monochrome) dont like it, and with how absolutely toxic bee fans are it has turned away pretty much every other ship in the fndm (you know its gotten bad when fucking whiterose shippers- who used to be closest fangroup to the bees- have distanced themselves from the ship).

People hating on the bees isnt the big scary adam/ironwood stan boogeymen, its the actual queer members of the fndm who expect better representation than what we've been given, and want actual well written relationships. Bees are neither well written or good representation, its just breadcrumbing queerbait because RT are too chicken shit to actually deliver.

Kindly fuck off

On facebook, there was an Adam Apologist who was a Monochrome shipper and Blacksun shipper who hated Bumbleby.

He would threaten people in DM's...go onto rwby critic videos to trash-talk the writers, scream about queer-baiting, and trash bumbleby.

He was so toxic, at least two of his accounts have been banned from every rwby facebook group out there.

I say two, because he's got 3....

Interestingly, you speak a lot like him.

The difference being that he was a "toxic" whiterose shipper as opposed to the more moderate whiterose shippers i've come across who can take disagreements and are okay with nuts and dolts.

Why do I call Blacksun shippers toxic?

Because they repeatedly talk about trying to "Fix" rwby in favor of "Monty's vision"....which apparently involves Blacksun, Adam, etc.

I've also noticed the anti-bees harassing me and others repeatedly in different social media groups...

with a hatred for yang interestingly...

and i've never met a bumbleby shipper who was transphobic.

Anti-bees however? quite a bunch.

Now, I respect DashingIceCream and their Monochrome.

I think they did a cute job of it.

And some great Freezerburn too.

Or was that Saskyang?

point is? I don't try shoving those ships down people throats.

anti-bees however? I see a LOT of you people on different social media where you're so upset about them.

you people literally create videos bashing bumbleby.

I really cannot find any pro-bumbleby videos bashing the other ships...they won't even go after blacksun.

But thank you for proving that anti-bumbleby shippers are rude, disrespectful, stalk rwby fans anonymously, and of course use a lot of profanity.

Seriously...why are you people like this?

What is with you people?

What is wrong with you "critics"

#rwby critics #rwde #rwby hatedom #blacksun #rwby sun wukong #rwby blacksun

45 notes · View notes

spongebob-connoisseur · 3 years

Note

Got any Spongebob hot takes? About a season, episode, character, etc?

You know, I'm pretty stuck on this. This has been sitting in my inbox for so long. Its so hard to remember these on the spot. I only remember when I'm talking about other stuff lol brainz werk in mysterious ways lol

But I'll still try!

- slappy is the best thing to ever exist.

- Squidabeth is the best thing to ever exist.

Okay before this turns into a brainrot list. Here's the actual hot takes!

-Nerd spongebob is superior sponge. I know later seasons focus more on him being more babyish/childish. But ehh I miss his more nerdier personality.

- I'm okay with the spinoffs. I get so tired always having to clarify on the spinoffs all the time. Jeez do your own research, I ain't magic or working inside with Nick (I wish) I'm tired. I have my concerns and issues otherwise but like if you want to watch it then do it. If you don't then just don't.

- man why did it take so long for Sandy to interact with the other female characters? Why did it take so long for any of the characters to interact? Its random but I was thinking about this a while ago. I get the show is Spongebob Squarepants. Everything is from his POV. But a lot of the female characters could use a little more development. I want an episode focused on Mrs. Puff outside of boating school. She's into metal. She's already cool. Pls let her become a rock star pls. Or just another Sandy/Karen episode because they're so cute together. Its so weird to think about all of them only begun to interact recently.

- I really want them to bring back Pearl being gifted at math!! So much story potential. I'll be honest, I don't like whenever shows got that stereotypical teenage girl character™ no reason but they get a little annoying if you leave it like that. Pearl was apparently supposed to be more apart of the main cast but didn't get used so often. Come on!! I wanna see her hang out with Squidina!! I really like Squidina.

- there's no such thing as a bad episode with The Flying Dutchman. Never. Even the worst ones are still amusing.

- Dutchy probably doesn't pay child support. I just wanted to say that xD

- there is no way Squishwart is heterosexual

- shows timeline is

- first episode any episode where Perch is orange, any episode where Perch is purple, 2nd movie, 1st movie.

Not a complete time line but ya kno. There's two timelines tho! Same as the first but kamp koral takes place in the beginning, then the patrick show. Then we start at the first episode. Then after that, the 3rd movie takes place between the 2nd and 1st movie.

Hope I didn't lost ya there.

- oh yeah! Perch's skin color probably changed with age. Some fishes change color with maturity! I headcanon orange being earlier, and purple being later.

I know you might point out the fish in Ripped Pants. He doesn't look much like Perch. Looks a lot older so I'm just gonna headcanon that it's Perch's dad.

- Kamp koral was kinda boring. The better episodes are when they focus on side characters or new characters. Idk its just not interesting when they focus it on the main cast. Excluding the one where Squidward and Patrick gets lost in the woods together. That was cute. Though my favorite episode is either the one with young Perch or the night cabin.

- season 1 is elite. It's my favorite season of all time. I could go on and on about what I love about this season but everything about it feels so wholesome yo.

- my favorite season amongst the modern era is probably 10? I know that's fan favorite of the modern era. I'd also say season 12 too. Which is an unpopular season due to the expressions but I find myself revisiting season 12 often. Its weird but fun to go back to every so often.

- a lot of spongebob has been ragged on unfairly. I know I always come for the middle seasons but even they are over hated. Its amusing tho how the middle seasons were so hated in the previous years. Nowadays they get more love because the kids who grew up with them has grown to appreciate them. Now its the modern seasons that get a lot of hate. Often times for just being different.

- ehh classic elites kinda ruin the show for me. I wouldn't say this is a be all end all. I still like the classic era and of course nothing can replace how witty and funny it was. But geez these people take it so seriously that it just sucks the fun out of it. Its fun to express your love for spongebob online but they always gotta rag on it and insult people who don't hate everything that came out after the movie. Its ironic considering I used to be a classic elitist. Every so often when I see them raging online, I'm like "jeez was that me?" It gets so exhausting to hate on the show. I also think its a little weird how they've martyred Hillenburg while also acting like the gods of justice by sending death threats to his colleagues and friends. Ehh they get pretty invasive at times. Its kinda uncomfortable.

- on that note. I also find it annoying how people are like "oh kids today will never know how good spongebob was!" Like the classic era doesn't constantly rerun on tv to this day. Jeez I was too young to even remember the classic era when it first began airing. Yet the classic era was what was on tv most of the time. Its like how adults assume kids don't know what vhs tapes/CDs are just because it isn't as popular as it used to. They don't magically disappear the moment something new comes out.

You know that reminds me, when I was a teen, I used to purposely act like I didn't know what some stuff were just to make adults feel like they're out of touch. "Facebook? what is that?" "Britney Spears? Never heard of her" it's so funny.

- Ngl I keep rewatching the Patrick show just to feel something

- mr. Krab's cheapiness went so out of control. Mans due for a spinoff just to rework his character so he can become tolerable again.

- from reading the spongeBob pitchbible and the mussel beach episode. My only thoughts were "spongebob has two hands, one for Sandy, one for Larry"

- the best episodes of Patrick is when he's being sweetly stupid. He's dumb but he knows and loves his friends. That's like the baseline for Patrick. He'd be terribly hurt if he upset them and he cares about them to the end of the earth. If you make patrick a jerk because he's stupid then you've failed to understand him.

- oh also, I'm pretty sure Bunny and Cecil are Pat's adoptive parents. Pat said in Home Sweet Pineapple that his parents kicked him out. I imagine when he did get kicked out, he wasn't prepared so he probably got adopted by the closest Sea Star family around. Thus the Patrick show was born! I already do find Pat's parents questionable. Like letting their daughter get lost like that, or mental training with a bell that managed to even have spongebob say they screwed Patrick up. Bunny and Cecil seem like healthier parents for pat. Plus he got another sister :)

- another thing, ehh Spongebob's parents and family in general are either questionable to outright awful. Man his uncle sherm really kicked out his own son??? captain blue couldn't listen to spange when he desperately needed help? Also spongebob's parents neither taking him seriously and seem to have their own issues too.

- on the note of poor family figures. I'm certain Mr. Krabs father Victor Krabs abandoned his family. Mr krabs grew up dirt poor with only his mother supporting him. I also assume Mr. Krab's other family is also kinda sucky since he didn't really introduce any of them to Pearl. Probably for a reason. Though his mom in the comics seems to have known about Pearl. She's probably the only krab in the family he really cares about.

- Sandy and Karen SHOULD get together. I don't make the rules 😤 😤

- patchy is good. I don't get why is he so hated. I also really like potty :)

- the 2nd movie is a comfort movie for me.

- they really brought the best music for the ScaredyPants episode. Also I find it kinda funny how they found such a hyper specific band for the show. The Ghastly Ones. A horror surf rock band. It fits too well and I like them enough to listen to their other songs just because.

- Ngl its satisfying when spongebob gets angry/frustrated. You dont see those emotions in him. Its either extreme joy or extreme sadness. It adds an interesting bit of nuance to his character.

And that's it! Or at least the only ones I can think of on the spot so uhh. Here ya go!

#Ask #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #sb #spongebon squarepants #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebob meme

21 notes · View notes

lexuslikethecar123 · 2 years

Text

i cried when i read the draft, im still crying.

sometimes i think about you. i think about seeing you randomly in a grocery store with a child in the shopping cart. i imagined seeing you and wondering how i would react. sometimes i imagine seeing you when you are 80 years old and how we could look back on the lives we spent. i know nothing about your life. i wondered if something happened to you how would i figure it out because no one really knows our friendship. when i feel low i think about you. i think about how you liked drake and how we would go over the songs. I wonder what you do for work. i wonder if you still ride bikes but something tells me you dont. i wonder why i never see you around the city. marcos tells that he sees your car at your girlfriend/probably wife parents house a couple a year ago. theres been times maybe once or twice a year ill call your old number even tho i knew you wasnt going to pick up. i wonder how you function with whatever you are doing w/o social media or maybe i just aren't connected with you. you saw the future of me in the present. you dont understand how angry, defensive, upset i was in life because of the plights i was in but with you i was so calm. sometimes i think that you are the only person who really really really saw me. i regret sometimes what we did to our partners. i always felt so unfulfilled after because what i couldn't get what i wanted and i always knew that. we arent made for each other, a relationship wasn't for us, but you truly are my soulmate. at least one of them. i believe friends can be soulmates too..

and what i went through when the aneurysm popped in my head. i was pushed back to adolescence, i didnt know English anymore, i even told my team to not call the ambulance but i didnt know the word ambulance so i drew a truck and x’s. after getting into the hospital i was in a short coma where i could hear the nurses and doctors around me talking about their lunch and i could not move my body. i was screaming silently in my mind HELP ME. i practiced counting to 10 and ABC’S because at that time i didnt know in order. at one point i was so tired talking to myself i told myself it was okay to let go and you know what happened? i saw the white light. but sometime after i woke up. after 2 weeks my brain started swelling and i was rushed into a craniotomy surgery where they removed a piece of my skull. after waking up from that i normalized death and drafted my will. i was ready to leave. i was making joke with my family so they wouldnt be so sad. i spent 5 months without of the piece of my skull. it wouldve been just 4 but the hospital put my bone under a different name. i went through so much pain. laughing, coughing, going to the bathroom, anything that gave pressure broke me.

knowing how weird i am i would let random, strangers people touch my head. i show them my head under my helmet and they look at me like a monster. i tell them do you want to touch my brain? i bet youll never have another chance ever again because that chance is rare. i was rare. i am rare. the most common reasons why someones aneurysm would pop i only related to 1 out of like 8. aneurysms have a variety of causes including high blood pressure, trauma, heredity, and abnormal blood flow at the junction where arteries come together, older folks, and its more common in women.

my wealth lasted 8 months. after that i didnt know what to do and didnt get that much help. my boyfriend at the time dumped me but let me stay at his home because he understood i didnt have anything. he didnt want to make it harder for me. he ended up breaking up with me and then expecting to get back with me when i got a bit better, but once i get over someone i am entirely over them. anyway back to the focus, i started an earring business and made $500 in 1 our on facebook live. i was so proud of myself. like come on, i barely knew english and made that money for my bills in a hour. on top of that i saw a flaw in the nich of jewelry making when there wasn't enough Afrocentric culture/pride in jewelry. half i made and the other half i resold. it was kind of alot of work but i did it 7 weeks after getting my skull back. im proud of myself for that but also wished i didnt have to go so hard all the time. at this time i was dealing with alot of side effects. i would forget to turn off the gas stove, i couldnt talk on the phone, i had bad memory, i was so aggressive and didnt even know. you dont know whats happening when you have a brain injury until it always happened. last day of the year i went to the movies with my boyfriend at the time and i lost my wallet. it has over $3,000 to pay my bills for monthssss. it pushed me way over my edge and when that ex went to a club 12/31/18 i knew that was my chance to take all the pills the hospital gave me to escape. i didnt want to live in a word where month would mean so much. i made a video recording and i still watch it from time to time. one day i will show the world.

when i woke up i started crying. i said if a ruptured brain aneursym couldn’t kill me and if i couldnt kill myself then im suppose to be alive.

i started meditating. smudging palo santo and sage. i get to know me the inside out and i got stronger and stronger. i fucking looked so good bald and i had no idea. i lived in south carolina for a little over a month dog sitting my aunts house and i took that time to heal and move on from my ex.

right now the side effects I'm dealing with are its hard to pronounce 3 syllable words and i have a central auditory processing disorder, i can hear you but sometimes it takes my brain a long time to understand. i am horrible with Q&As lol. carlos i can walk, talk, drive, can move all my limbs. boy, i am so blessed to be here. its hard when you tell people what you went through and they only respond with ohh my uncle/aunt/mom/sister had that but they passed away or whats that? this made me so negative. i had no one to tell me i would be okay not even my mom.

ever since i got back from south carolina ive been part of a docuseries sharing my story, ive shared my story to many colleges (like 2), conferences (like 1)- you know what. fuck all the things ive been doing i just want you to truly understand how happy i am just communicating with you. the friendship is one of hope. this friendship is a muse. i could write 100 spoken words about it and not one line would be about sex or anything like that. i lost alot of memories carlos like drake lyrics to all movies i watched before the anyersm and there has to be a reason why i never forgot any memory with you my friend. im writing this all so ugly because i want you to read as much as i can write. its 4:11am

I have a business Carlos. i founded it with my partner. his name is Evan Delpeche. its blowing up on a local level. we are going to have a store front this season. we have a 3,000 sq foot warehouse in atlantic mills on manton.

hes awesome. handsome. hes a leo if that means anything. He makes me feel like im super sensitive. he was born here but found himself in new york. hes done many many amazing things in ny with big brands. sometimes i feel like i dont have enough style for his taste but in order for me to be stylish i need money to buy clothes. like i only get money from disability check and sometimes i get paid from soulita but my focus is all profit to go back in the business, but i know what wont last long not paying myself. i can be selfless. anyway, weve been featured in many magazines in RI. check out September issue of providence monthly. go to ri monthyl and search soulita. go to boston globe and look up my name (its just a pic of my art nothing so big) all of these things im proud of.

the way we met was perfect and we work hard together. in the beginning i was torn between someone else and i felt like why cant i have choices? i almost fucking died why cant i just enjoy being single but that wasnt me. idk what a one stand night is. i have too many feeling and i love way to deep and i am so fucking romantic. i have 1 tattoo that says “always and all ways” to explain it i say “im going to love you always and all ways, its the unconditional love i show” no matter what happens to a person i love even if they got their arm cut off, cant give me children, cant provide, turns blind or anything a shallow person would run away from, i choose to love all different ways.

talking to you is like talking to myself

im blabbing because you don't judge and its been years dude. years that ive only talked to you in my head.

I saying random shit just to increase the word count. like this next paragraph

i love cooking. theres nothing better than someone putting my food in their mouth and smiling because its so good. i study neuroscience. i started to study it because i wanted to understand why and how the aneurysm popped and how i can regain all knowledge i lost. i have a list of my favorite molecules and hormones. i dont like random movies unless im learning something from it so i love documentaries. i dont want to be entertained i want to be educated. I know ill be moving in the new few years to ny with my partner. I want my focus on career wise is to be a motivational speaker and a business women/ entrepreneur. you can find some of my speeches online somewhere. im 23 years old now dude

i love u always my friend

and all ways Carlos

even if that means its cryptic, out of sight, if its in a reality only us live in.

please go to one of my motivational speaker events one day. dress up like joe from You or something and be lowkey lol idk. please try out my products. i have an organic pregnancy's line that you probably one day for Lily. maybe every 1 or 3 or 5 or 10 years we meet at the same spot on the certain day every time and that's can be the only communication. idk.

all i know is i went through that drafts and never notice the message till now and im so happy for me to discover it on a time i really needed it.

i know ^ was alot. and all over the please but im not going to say sorry. I wish i could say more. even if its random.

thank you my friend. that sounded wack lol

2 notes · View notes

angelmichelangelo · 3 years

Note

1/2 nah foh with the homophobia argument thats such an odd and sad cop-out when it comes to someone having a different opinion to you... i also would hardly call myself a phanti at this point i just get so??? when ppl post abt dnp being 100% in love and blah blah like. alright! im of the opinion that i wont post any of that shit until they want us to fully know theyre together which they clearly dont. like yes ppl can read between lines i know but they still .. havent said it and dont start

right off the bat, i really don’t like the tone of this ask but yknow i’m gonna give you the satisfaction of me answering this so we can have a... somewhat civilised conversation about this, since i did invite anyone with their own “phanti” opinions to come give me their reasonings.

the homophobia explanation is definitely not a cop-out for someone having a different opinion to me. like i said, i really do not care in what you believe when it comes down to dan and phil. it just truly baffles me as to why phantis wanna come onto our side and get flustered when we start talking about it, like? do you not have your own fandom spaces to make those kinds of posts? you clearly know that a majority of us here are not gonna agree with you. but, i digress.

dan and phil, a long time before coming out, lived in, what a lot of people called; a glass closet. so, obviously they weren’t actually out out, but they insinuated. they got comfy with us. they let us, the viewers know, and that’s why we have a somewhat.. relaxed relationship with them. they consider us more than just “fans” (a word they don’t even like to use) because yet. the whole “they know we know” DOES matter. dan’s mentioned it countless times before, that his audience helped him overcome certain things in regards to his sexuality. he’s said that because of his support and of our understanding, it helped him come out.

anon, if you don’t want to believe it. i really am fine with that. it’s not my job to change your mind. for whatever reason you’re so against it, then... idk. i hope you figure that out. dan and phil aren’t gonna scold you for thinking “hey! they’re cute together!”

the most interesting thing to me is, how a lot of people like yourself always try to... i guess, defend? dan and phil? and. yknow. i guess your heart is in the right place! you don’t want them to get hurt or upset and i get that. but dan and phil are quite literally grown men.

it kinda links into the argument of “why do you write fanfiction about real people thats so gross!” and when it applies to real people who have opposed of having fanfiction written about them, then sure i guess. but dan and phil have mentioned a bunch of times that they’re fine with us writing smut and drawing them in any which way. and that ties in with discussion their relationship. they’ve liked fanart before that has them being “couple-y.” phil’s read out comments before that joke about relationships. dan’s been VERY open on stereo lately (see, story about phil’s bare ass) and from what i can gather, they really don’t have a problem with that. the things dan mentioned in BIG about people prying, is in reference to things like people stalking his brother for information, or when people found phil’s private facebook and starting sharing his personal things around. THAT, yes is too far. but from what i’ve seen since i’ve been here? none of that. we just have a good time and get to look up to two queer icons and celebrate their love! why not be on that side!! it’s so much more fun, i promise!

i can assure you anon, if we’ve stepped anywhere we haven’t been allowed, dan and phil are very capable of telling us. there’s a trust between them, and their audience. that’s why they’re finding it easier and more enjoyable to be more open with us. that’s why they’re celebrating their forever home with us. so if that’s what you’re worried about, you really don’t have to. dan and phil are dumb but they’re not idiots.

#i hope this makes sense #ask #anon #if this needs tagging then lemme know

13 notes · View notes

gundhams-pandemonium · 3 years

Note

for this ,,, komadam nd amaguuji 👁️👁️ also fuck it kazukichi (kazuichi x kokichi) too,, hope it alr if i req multiple ships ahah

Multiple Ships are totally fine :D:

Komadam

It's a good ship overall! I have a fusion of them, and I enjoy fanart. I feel there is a lot of unused potential for the ship!

“Their” song: What do they know I've associated with both of them/I think theyd vibe

Who does more housework: Nagito, he thinks of himself as trash but "trash can clean trash". Gundham doesn't approve of "that nonsense" however he's usually working so it works out well that Nagito can clean

What couple cosplay they should do: Idk why, but big Pokemon Cosplay vibes. However, I cant place who? Gundham would love Team Rocket but i cant see Nagito fiting either Jesse or James. Perhaps some Gym leaders 🤔

Who cried watching Toy Story 3: Gundham, but that is a secret

Who hogs the blankets at night: Nagito, he doesnt even mean too but he constantly tears them off the other. Gundham doesn't mind, and usually gets closer to him to share the blanket

What they fight about: Haha, Luck Cycle, God Complex, Whether Nagito should be near Gundham because Gundham see's himself "unfit for mortals" while Nagito feels that Gundham will get hurt due to his cycle. There's... a lot of arguing I can see with these two

Who has more Facebook friends: Gundham, only because fellow animal lovers and breeders follow him for advice (he canonly has a blog specifically for advice!)

One headcanon about them: Gundham, with premmesion, dyed Nagito's hair with stripes of black so it matched his own. It was adorable

Amaguji~:

I'll be honest, I've gone back and forth from liking it, to being neutral, to disliking, to liking it again. There is nothing wrong with the ship, and I think that Kiyo and Rantaro would get along however I prefer them as a friends. I really think it depends on how someone writes their dynamic~

“Their” song: Dear Fellow Traveler

Who does more housework: They both split it equally between each other, but Korekiyo may end up doing more if Rantaro's travels take longer then expected

What couple cosplay they should do: Two differnt versions of the Doctor (From Doctor Who), not sure who but I do not take constructive critism /light hearted

Who cried watching Toy Story 3: Neither? They both dont express feelings that well 😔

Who hogs the blankets at night: Rantaro, he is always cold

What they fight about: Hmmm, I can see them both being upset at the other for not sharing things that bother them (ie, not liking a certain way something is cleaned, not being open when they are upset, etc) but end up calling each other hypocrites. I dont think it happens often, but when they fight everyone knows it (though they make up rather quickly)

Who has more Facebook friends: Rantaro, only because he's the one who uses Facebook. Kiyo is lost on social media, someone help him

One headcanon about them: Korekiyo brings Rantaro with him while doing field work, Rantaro knows a lot of traditions and customs from his own travels and they share knowledge with each other.

Kazuichi/Kokichi

I dont really think/hear about this ship But I always appreciate rarepairs

“Their” song: Daddy Didnt Love Me They both have issues with their father. [Tw for the song, physical and sexual abuse. It's a dark song, I just feel they could relate to it in some way, and would sing it at the top of their lungs]

Who does more housework: Kazuichi id stuck with it whether he wants to or not

What couple cosplay they should do: I have no idea, but Kokichi trying to get him to dress as a magic girl would be funny

Who cried watching Toy Story 3: Kazuichi, please leave him alone he's having a moment okay

Who hogs the blankets at night: Kokichi is Shsl Blanket Stealer and I stand by that

What they fight about: Kokichi will tease Kazuichi a lot, and sometimes it really does hurt him (even if it's meant to be playful) . Kazuichi will usually try to close himself off

Who has more Facebook friends: Kokichi~

One headcanon about them: Kazuichi's main love language is "I make you gift" so he'll make anything mechanical for Kokichi. Kokichi one day surprised Kazuichi with a vers of his checkered scarf so he could have one

#danganronpa #komadam #amaguji #kokichi x kazuichi #kaz writes

7 notes · View notes

metamelonisle · 3 years

Text

assorted headcanons i have (fandoms involved: Kirby, Super Mario, Sonic, Smash)

mayro hcs:

Within the three central characters of SMB, the order of weakest to strongest is: Mario -> Peach -> Bowser. Bowser is an incredibly strong beast of a king, and has the magical prowess to match. Peach is able to match Bowser in terms of magical power, as she is usually the one who undoes all of his magic at the end of the game. However, she’s still physically weaker than Bowser (it’s not because she’s weak though. It’s just that no one is as strong as Bowser). Judging from how she’s playable in some games, she is just as physically strong and agile as Mario is, which puts her dead center between Mario and Bowser. Mario is the weakest, as he has no magic of his own, and outside of external aid (Powerups, Caps, Power Stars, FLUDD, Luma, Cappy) he really only has his acrobatic skills (which admittedly, are pretty impressive) and his wits. From what I remember, Mario has never beaten Bowser in a direct straight fight. He’s always either A. aided by an external force (like powerups or friends) or uses the environment to his advantage to circumvent the power difference (like the Axe in SMB or the brick-block floor in SMB3). Peach is as strong as Mario physically and Bowser magically, but usually gets kidnapped because Bowser never plays fair (using multiple people to capture her, using sneak attacks, i mean, i’d be surprised if he didnt employ an ultimatum of “get in the koopa klown car, or i’m eating mushroom stew tonight! Gwah ha ha!”)

Dr mario is mario’s dad. he is the main protagonist of DK 81, mario bros 83 (alongside his twin brother Luigi, Sr.) and the first Dr. Mario, and the main antagonist of DK’s Circus and DK Jr.. He dated the Lady from DK 81 (no relation to pauline) but nothing came of it. his significant other/mario jr and luigi jr.’s mother is unknown, if they are even the same person. He is still practicing medicine to this day and is a vetetan in Smash, having attended every game since Melee as a fighter but Brawl and attended every game since 64 to cheer on his sons. (Don’t ask me who nurse peach is idk yet also DM64 and DMW are different)

there are two Mad Pianos. One is a mechanical trap made by Boos (64) and the other one is a real piano possessed by Boos (DS).

the Unagi from 64 suffers from anxiety and is more afraid of Mario than anything else. Peach thinks very fondly of them.

Sonic sometimes asks Mario to babysit Classic Sonic (the one from Mania) and as a result they get along pretty well. CS regards mario as a kind of “cool older brother/father figure” and Mario just thinks he’s adorable. They do extreme sports together

kriby hcs:

bandana dee is nonbinary (he/them)

king dedede probably runs a memepage on facebook about how great he is (it has 3 followers)

dmk listens to linkin park and considers them to be “way better than whatever that punk listens to”

the four otherworldy kings (parallel woods, parallel kracko, parallel meta knight and parallel dedede) are still alive for some reason and HOO ARE THEY MAD (at kirby & co specifically. they’ve chilled out regarding anyone else but if they see the dream friends or that cheeky piece of gum it’s ON SIGHT)

Kracko is related to dark matter in some form. i dont know how but they are. they’re suspicious. also kracko is scared of shrek bc they saw that one tumblr post where he eats lightning then reaches into his bag for the gun that kills clouds

dark nebula has two interpretations: first is mine: an extremely overconfident and egotistical blob of dark energy that thinks he’s lucifer. he talks with a disgusting amount of prose and a fake vague european accent bc he thinks it makes him sound refined. he calls himself names like “the lord of darkness” and “the beast within us all” and stuff and tries to get people to sell their souls to him. the thing is, he’s weak. like, PATHETICALLY weak compared to most beings on popstar. he were actually locked in a box by someone in response to being given a “proposal” to be his servant and herald. (that “someone” may or may not have been Galacta Knight) the other interpretation is that they’re a chaotic and malevolent demon with a very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eye. (like bill cipher, or tom cruise.) they got locked in a box bc Zero made them and was like “you are a mistake” and locked them in a box so they wouldn’t have to deal with them. it’s unclear if they resent zero for this and may be unaware of their existence entirely. When entities are killed, they release all of their power in a big explosion. this is why enemies “pop” when they are defeated, why mid-bosses violently explode after a while, and why bosses explode multiple times and then vanish in one last big one. the more powerful the entity and the more energy they retain at the time of death, the more powerful the explosion. This is largely the reason why Void Termina was sealed in the Jamba Heart instead of being slain by the heroes of yore, as the resulting explosion might destroy the entire galaxy. It is theorized that if Galacta Knight were to take his own life, the resulting explosion would irreversibly devastate the universe. (this remains unproven, as he only dies after being extremely worn down and eventually fatally wounded by Meta Knight.)

galacta knight is one of the heroes of yore who defeated and sealed void before the series started. people feared and demonized him because of his power, and it made him scared he might accidentally hurt innocent people as a result. he became a hermit and wondered how he could neutralize himself as a threat to the world, and ultimately decided the best choice was to seal himself away in a crystal. Whenever he is unsealed he is extremely upset (as he considers himself a living WMD who’s very presence presents an immediate danger to everyone around him), and fights whoever he believes unsealed him (as since they revived him, they must have known about him, and why else would anyone unseal the greatest warrior in the galaxy if they’re not gonna use him as a weapon/attack dog?) He eventually dies for good in ironically, his first appearance, at the very end of Meta Knightmare Ultra. When he is beaten by Meta Knight, he’s lost so much power and strength that he can finally let go, realizing that with warriors like Meta Knight around, not only is he no longer a danger, but he can rest easily knowing that the galaxy is in safe hands. Finally at peace, Galacta Knight dies, releasing an explosion on par with Nova’s. Due to the way time works, Galacta Knight is fated to survive everything that happens to him up until his very last fight with Meta Knight in Ultra. He has known that he would die in a duel to the death with a winged masked knight in the stars since the days of yore, and used to frequently exploit the law of Forgone Conclusion up until the sealing of Void. Post-Seal, he began to believe the vision he saw was symbolic rather than literal, believing that this masked knight likely represents the darkness within his heart, and that his “death” actually meant his inevitable snapping and descent into fallen heroism and wanton destruction. When he finally sees Meta Knight in Robobot, he does not actually recognize him until he’s been badly wounded, but still escapes, as they’re not in the right place yet. He is elated to realize that the vision of the future is not describing his fall, but his actual death. When MKU finally rolls around, Galacta is hopeful (which is likely why he doesn’t kill Nova like he did with SD), as he’s knows going to die, which means the universe will be safe. Knowing that this is his last dance, he pulls out all of the stops to give Meta Knight the greatest fight he can before he croaks. When the final blow is struck, he loses control of his wings and is flung around by muscle spasms, but is able to regain control long enough to relish in his defeat. Galacta Knight and Hyness are not the only currently living heroes of yore. Given that Gooey, a piece of Dark Matter who is very loving and friendly, is clearly able to not only receive love, but give it as well, I think that all Dark Matter is capable of it, except for Zero, and possibly Miracle Matter. (I’d be willing to give them a chance, though.) They are unable to tap into their positive emotions because of their loyalty to Zero. This has changed as of Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards and Kirby Star Allies. After Zero’s death in 64 and Void’s purification in Allies, all remaining Dark Matter is free to do as they please without Zero to tell them what to do. Most have disappeared, but four major members remain. Gooey, Void, Miracle Matter, and Dark Matter Swordsman. He was the first Dark Matter to realize that he cared about others when post DL3, he questioned why he was so adamant to fight Kirby and Gooey even when it could have easily resulted in his death. He ultimately came to the conclusion that it was because he genuinely cared about Zero, and his intense loyalty to him was a result of that. Until Void’s purification, DMS hung around Gooey frequently, as they’re really the only family he has left. After Void’s purification, he was elated to learn that Zero had effectively come back, but now able to give love as well as receive it. He’s a little sad Void doesn’t remember his time as Zero, and as such doesn’t remember him, but believes it’s for the best that Void is not burdened by his past mistakes. His relation to Miracle Matter is unknown. Now that Void has been purified and DMS has embraced his positive emotions, they are no longer weak to the Love-Love stick or the Rainbow Sword. As such, the Love-Love Stick has been disassembled back into the heart stars and returned to their owners, and the Rainbow Sword is currently in the possession of DMS, having replaced his old sword. Similarly to all native Dream Landers becoming animate yarn outlines in Patch Land, all native Patch Landers become animate three-dimensional plushies in Dream Land. The bosses from Kirby’s Epic Yarn are still around. Even Yin-Yarn is still alive! (but Shhhh don’t tell anybody its a secret) They’re doing a lot better now that Yin-Yarn isn’t around/active to boss them around. Fangora- Mostly just vibes in Weird Woods. They’re a lot less hostile then they used to be, so give em’ a visit! They’d love to eat-er... Meet you! Squashini- Still performs magic. He uses a weird mix of stage magic and actual magic and occasionally performs in Dream Land. He’s especially popular on Halloween! Hot Wings- Continues to look after her chicks in Hot Land, although they’re adolescents at this point rather than babies. She’s cooled down in terms of intensity and has begun to warm up to visitors, but only really trusts Fluff and Kirby. In Dream Land, her fire is cloth, but still burns like real fire. She has occasionally been known to barbecue as of late, complete with a cheesy apron and cheesier jokes. This has made her popular in Patch Land but she mostly just cooks for friends or her kids. Most of the time they just forage. Calimari- Resents Double Bubble and the Fuzz for ruining his cap, and has made himself a new one. He continues to hoard treasure, and will pickpocket anyone who comes by him. He could theoretically make a fortune with his knitting skills, but is too lazy to do so. A really good way to piss him off is to tell him he looks like a potato. He will hurt you. Meta Knight and Dedede - Oh You Know Fluff once ate an entire bar of ZOTE he found in Kirby’s laundry room and no one noticed until it was too late

idk there’ll probably be more but i’m kinda tired rn. feel free to add or edit as you please. i’m bad at being consistent i think so help is greatly appreciated

#paint.txt #headcanons #Super mario #princess peach #dr mario #classic sonic #Kirby #kracko #dark nebula #galacta knight #void (kirby)#Zero (kirby)#dark matter swordsman #prince fluff #dark meta knight #kirby's epic yarn

16 notes · View notes

goddess-ofthe-underworld · 3 years

Text

I am numb.

I have had the same therapist for around 9 years, she has always been wonderful.

Today, she made me have a mental breakdown. She made me feel horrible. She got upset with me.

All because I've been talking about how I feel I am somewhere on the autism spectrum. She said because I understand emotions I'm not autistic. Because I use facial expressions I'm not autistic. Because I use fancy words I'm not autistic.

At first after hearing that when I came back from getting tested for it I felt sad and upset. I took her word for a while, but felt like something wasnt right.

I continued to do research and joined two groups on facebook and the amount of women that go undiagnosed amazed me. The amount of women who have talked about this I have done since I was a child, feelings they have had, and they have the diagnosis. It made me question my therapist. I found tests reccomend by those with the diagnosis to do and if scoring as autistic to bring it to a doctor. I have taken so many test and all come back as ranking highly likely to have autism.

The person who I tested with lied in her type up of how I acted and things I said and I am still angry about that.

So I decided today to tell my therapist I want a second opinion. I found an office near me that specializes in women with autism and I want to be tested again. What professional lies in their report? That bugs me most. I was never married before my current husband like she said. I never claimed to have OCD like she said I am diagnosed with. And in the three hours I was there with her for maybe a total of 5 minutes I made eye contact because she would clear her throat and squint at me so i felt like i had to.

Her report made it seem like you have to be dumb and a shell of person to be autistic and that's just not true. I know its not.

I have put on an act for my whole life hiding so much to appear normal to avoid being made fun of like I did as a child.

And today my therapist got angry at me for wanting to get one more test done with a specialist. She told me the people I talked to that said I needed another opinion were 'cringey' and made her cringe because they aren't professionals like she is. Then went off about how ethically she cant even watch TV and diagnosis someone unless they are her patient. Like ok? All I know is these people have the diagnosis. They are telling me things they do and experience are the same as what I talked about in these groups and that they think I need to get another opinion. That's all. She didnt even let me read the questions from the tests I took and why I answered the way I answered. She just got angry. I shut down and burst into tears. I felt embarrassed and now hurt.

She has never been anything but what most would say is a cheery demeanor so to see this side hurt. She didn't bother to listen to me, she didnt bother to try and see why I felt so strongly about this. She has it made up that if you can use fancy words and explain feelings you are not autistic. Yet right before therapy today people in my group again, who have the diagnosis, where talking about this!

When I finally could talk through the sobs I told her I didnt feel like she was listening or understanding and I wanted to hang up (virtual appointment) and she looked at me wide eyed and said you mean hang up and I said yes this isn't helping. So she said ok and told me to write down my feelings for next time and she went to say something else and I hung up on her.

I feel like how I have felt in past breakups. I feel how I have felt when I lost friends. I feel how I feel when I think my husband is mad at me.

My whole life I have been obsessed with books and reading that was my escape. I have been bullied to the point of wanting to end my life I needed an out so it was books. I hate feeling dumb so I look up words all the time and love to use them. Of course I am going to know fancy words. Any reader would.

I feel so pissed and hurt.

I had to call her office and I canceled all my future appointments with her at the advice of others in my group and my father, and the receptionist told me she might call to hear it from me and I broke down and thank Gods this woman was kind.

I asked if I had to talk to her and she quickly said 'oh honey no! Breathe it's ok! I will put that in here so no one hounds you it's ok! Dont worry, breathe we dont want you anxious!'

I can't get over the fact that when I told her the only people that have seen the true me are my dad and my husband and that I've always been masked around her for the most part she just repeated herself. She didnt hear me at all.

I spent t so many years becoming a master at hiding things that I may have hid them too well.

I am lost. I am

Going to get a second opinion by someone who specializes in females with autism and if I show all of my information and all of the reasons why i think I so and they say no then fine. I'm not, but then I want explanations on a lot. There are so many things I do and feel that are not normal, they dont relate to my depression and I want to know what it is so I can feel less out of place and strange.

I'm not here to collect diagnoses like a pokemon. I just want someone who will listen and hear me out, and be honest in their report of me.

#possibly autistic #mental health #mental illness #therapy #counselling #please help #rant #autistic spectrum

5 notes · View notes

brownskngirl · 3 years

Text

rambling.

Everyday I wake up and are beyond thankful and blessed to wake next to the one person that i love the most. He helps me build myself and life together. We have a beautiful puppy named Mamba. Definitely trying for a baby as well. I don't know sometimes I do have these feelings as though ill never been good enough for anyone. Sure; yeah, my photos get likes and there are plenty of people that I could hangout with and/or call friends, I just truly know that no one is going to have your back like you do. for the first seven years of my life and even after, I belonged to everyone. my dad just tossed me around homes with his friends and or co-workers as well as different family members. I got to experience the wonderful life of neglect, child abuse, and sexual molestation. My dad left me, my biological dad left me, my mother left, I wasn't able to meet my biological father until I was about 20-21. Our relationship at that is rocky. the parents that raised me disowned me due to them being extremely controlling. Everyone leaves. Or they choose to spend there time entertaining other people. Like I don't know my aunt and uncle that raised me always were so about one another. My uncle would like barely even look at anyone else, she sure as hell didn't. their bond and built family wasn't perfect by all means but they did it together and I guess that's all I've really wanted and searched for in life. Well in the male wise. I'm not sure why I let myself be abused to the point where I couldn't breathe. I let a man dictate how I felt about myself to the point I starved myself almost two years straight, had my weight weekly checked , psychiatric appointments weekly, did coke for the first time, drank every day, every chance I got. It was kind of bad for a good three years but whatever. Sometimes my boyfriend entertains females. for what reason I'm not sure. like why slide up on her story with no face but her body and alcohol? why want her to send her address when she's drinking? I wasn't invited so its not like we both were going to go. I try so hard every time to just trust. trust. trust. trust. believe every word he says about us forever and us together. I'm not that public of a person but I let it be known who I'm dating and that I'm in a relationship. yet he don't, wow he allows it on Facebook, meanwhile talking about other girls squirting on him. lmao. every argument we have had I've done nothing but my absolute best to be and do better for myself, him, and our future. I just want him to have everything he ever wanted and hoped and dreamt of. If I could give him all the money cars and love in this world I would. he deserves it, he deserves the world and more. I wanna be by his side being his number one fan and girl and supporter through it all. I wanna show him that I'm not ever going to give up on him, no matter how hard times get, how low life seems, and even through the daily life adventures. this is my person. and when we have deep talks i really believe him to the point where I am crying because he understands me and hears me and I love that. but then the next day the smallest tiniest thing will set him off and I'm stupid. I'm really hurt still about all of the stuff he told me when he left me at the casino. he gone flex on me with a hotter bitch, I ain't shit, I'm a dumb bitch. Like whaaaaaa. I love you with every ounce in my entire soul and would drop absolutely anyone and anything for you. as I have and will forever to continue to do. but when is enough, enough?? when am i enough for him to be like nah I got a girl lol. or be like not unless my girl sliding. love the support though, keep sharing. its not its send the address no cap. hahahahhaa. I'm embarrassed to have them on my snap. like yeah I show him off cause like haaa I have him but then I look fucking stupid cause they over there being the first to watch my story and probably just be laughing at me. I LOOK FUCKING STUPID. then again its whatever. I try to understand that when we got together it was right after he got out. and he missed all his outside life from

being sent away. :/// its just how can I be more of a woman that he's proud to be with, wants to be with. someone whos like nah my bitch is badder. lmao instead I'm just over here hoping he even likes me today. I just need to I don't know yet figure out how I can continue to grow as a woman and wife. I wish we didn't lose our baby though. I often think about it. I was farther than I thought, and I wish that right now I was talking to my baby and watching him/her grow in my belly. because its parents would love that baby more than anything on planet earth. I pray we get pregnant though, but when we are ready. I love my man so fucking much and I really know how much he tries to do good in this world and how far he has come as a person. he really is so amazing, so smart, handsome and beyond giving. even to people who definitely don't deserve it. I don't know how I was so blessed and lucky to have him with me. I really am, I love his family too, so much. I hope he never leaves me. id do anything for him and he knows that. I just also pray and hope that I am enough as a person for him to remain loyal faithful well only entertaining all that to me and only me. he is my other half, forever.

my family always taught me that crying wasn't okay. therefore I never really cried growing up. I mean yeah when I got hurt and such but even when I almost broke my nose I didn't cry. It just wasn't something I was allowed to do. everything I felt, every feeling, every moments, etc. I was alone. I really went through life alone. Part of it was my fault yeah I could have opened more up to my aunt a little more and did more with her, but she wasn't that person for me.

Real question is why? why do people willingly choose to hurt others. What am I doing wring in life to have all these people want to leave me and then actually leave. but its more than that people like to see me hurt. for what? maybe I'm too sensitive now and need to back to being an anger bitch. but I fight everyday to be a better person. a happier person. there's just times like I know I'm going to fuck up and I just don't like disappointing people and that is all I seem to be good at. my legal dad is just neglectful and wants to throw my biological father in my mothers face. as if I was at an age to say whether or not who could raise me. At the end they all did a shitty job. It's just crazy how everyone can have an opinion on the way I need to be living my life. I'm always too much this or too much that. I have an angry face and i know that, I know that i always look like that i am angry or that i am upset about something but reality is that im not, i dont really get mad easily. it takes a lot. I just overthink about everything. Like one thing will happen then ill instantly think about the time that it happened before or if it had even happened before, yeah know. i dont know anymore im just rambling and complaining about nothing. i guess typing all of this out feels better than talking to my asshole of a dog or too busy boyfriend.

#venting again

1 note · View note

pbandjesse · 4 years

Text

I feel like today was a lost day but I know it actually wasnt. It just felt like a weird day. And I just had a guy I used to work with at ships come on my facebook and make me upset. But I unfriended him so whatever. He's just the type to like. Keep going. Like Im half expecting an email from him. Lets home not.

I slept okay last night. And I woke up around 9 feeling okay. I just laid in bed for a long time playing on my phone. But eventually I did get up and I did make the bed and I did go get a shower and washed my hair. Made me feel a lot better about myself.

I sat with James and he read and then went to go do laundry. Somehow he fills our entire laundry and I have like 4 things in there. I dont understand how he makes so much laundry but he is working in a kitchen so it makes some sense.

We had a nice morning. I had some of the leftover pizza. But I was unsettled. I changed my outfit like 5 times. I just couldnt get comfortable. James called the bike shop and my bike was ready to pick up. So it was decided we would walk there and then go to the BMA because they had a bunch of goats eating the overgrown hill. A program they have called "Goats on the Slope" incredible.

It was chilly today. Like surprisingly so. I knew it was going to be a little rainy so I brought a raincoat but I ended up wearing it because I was cold more than anything. But it was a nice walk.

We ran into Mr Will and he said he's going to come by tomorrow to check out a weird thing in our bathroom closet. It wasnt to bad of a walk. I thought we had to go a differnt way but James showed me a secret staircase and we were there quickly.

We waited outside, as no one is allowed in the shop. There were two other people there. The one got his son's bike quickly. The other was a woman and they came out and said they had bad news, they had realized one of the spokes on her bike wasnt fixed correctly. And she was like oh thank god I thought you were going to say you threw my bike away. That made me laugh.

My bike was ready though! I havent ridden my bike since basically feburary. So I was a little nervous about my stamina but it ended up being fine. Well not as bad as it could have been.

We left and biked up to the museum. I had to stop once because my breaks were rubbing and I was like fighting my bike. But we sorted it out and that was fine. I did scream at a driver who decided it didnt matter that I had a green light. But soon enough we made it to the park.

I was very out of breath though. I was overheated and shaking. I was uncomfortable. I had to sit down.

James took our bikes and I went and sat on the stairs for a few minutes and drank some water. But man. I was uncomfortable. It was scary hyperventilating like that. I do not do well with hills.

But once I was calmed down We walked over to see the goats. They were very cute. I hope to go back before they leave and I hope they are all eating the brush and having a great time. Only 2 goats were out of their little trailer. But I was glad we still went.

James still had an hour until he had to be at work. I asked to go down to the bottom of the hill, I wanted to see how much brush the goats needed to eat. And so we did that. We got in a little argument about our ballots. Because I feel overwhelmed by it and I have asked for help but he just keeps telling me to fill it out and that isnt helpful! But finally I just said that this conversation was not helpful and we would table it. I didnt want to be upset.

We sat on a wall and I enjoyed looking at the park. We talked for a while. And James said we had time to walk him to work if we left then. He would even have time to get a sandwich and a coffee. So off we went.

It was a nice walk. Long but wasnt bad. I like that part of town. It is amazing to me how different the different neighborhoods are here. Its super redlined and generationally influenced. And Hopkins is a huge influence on the neighborhoods they occupy. And there is a lot of nature is that part of town.

It was a nice walk. And soon we were in Hampden. I held our bikes while he went in Royal Farms and I people watched for a while. I thought about going to get a thai tea but the idea of going inside a cafe didnt feel good. I dont know why. Maybe next time.

I said goodbye to James once we got to the restaurant. And off I went. I was happy to bike. I had a podcast. I was in a good mood.

I followed the jones falls trail and its such a nice little path by the water. It reminds me of penny pack. I ended up parking my bike w Ihen I saw this bridge (James called it Hippy bridge when I texted him about it) that the fence was tore down on and was covered in graffiti. I climbed down the hill and sat on it high above the water. It was neat. I hope I can get myself to go on more adventures like that.

I took my time getting home. I stopped at a bench before a big hill. Took my time. Got home in one piece.

I took a break when I got back here. I was overheated from the biking. But once I cooled down I felt a lot better. I chilled for a while. Laid with sweetP and read. But eventually I decided I wanted to go for a drive.

I saw hi to Kimberly in the hall. And then drove out to Target. Lots of terrible drivers. It was rush hour I guess but people were just so mad they had to wait and kept trying to go around people? Obnoxious. I just enjoyed the drive.

I went to target. Enjoyed wandering around. Picked up a few things. Got poptarts that are cinnamon pretzel flavored. So fancy.

After I finished there I went to the art store to buy spray paint. To paint my bike. But I knew that was going to be a production.

I had five guys. It was fine. But I have had five guys way to often lately. So I think I will be taking a break from that. But I sat in the car and ate and watched the sun set. Saw someone throw a cup out of their window. Terrible trashy behavior. I hate people who litter. Especially from their car. You are going to go somewhere with a trash can!! What is wrong with you!!!

I headed home after that. And then the sun was down and I was like. Very Unmotivated. But then someone upset me on facebook so to distract myself I started stripping the paint off my bike.

This took forever. And honestly I could do more. But I worked on it for 2 hours. I used a blade and there are so many layers. My bike is so fat. But it was fun doing the work. I hope to paint it tomorrow but I think its going to have weird lumps. Well see how it goes.

I have been hanging out since I finished cleaning up all the paint and trash. I just washed my face and had one of those poptarts. I think I am going to drink water and wait for James. I am very much ready for sleep.

I hope you all have a good rest of the night. Take care of yourselves. Goodngiht.

3 notes · View notes