#i don’t think past me understood how this template is supposed to work

[koorinohebi]

@super-kame-love

Continued From:

I am curious: how would you describe Kiomi's relationship with Jiraiya? And with Koji Kashin? What you've shared about them so far seems very interesting and I must know more!

+ + +

Sorry for breaking it into two different posts, Kame-san. The other one felt so long already.

Quick note: IF you haven't read or watched Boruto, this will definitely contain spoilers.

So for this second one, we have...

Kashin Koji

So the main reason I was interested in him was when rumors were floating around that Jiraiya or someone that resembles him is back in Boruto. One look at his design and I was like, yeah. Unmistakably related in one way or another. Lo and behold my friend, lo and behold.

I have 2 verses for Kashin Koji. One is the one where you often see me mention Takeda. That one is an on going RP with @ambitiousparagon, and the other one is a verse where I pen Koji myself. The one with Takeda is still in the works and currently still very unpredictable, so for this instance I'll talk about my own version of Kashin Koji, which actually...more than Kiomi being the main focus, I tend to lean more towards the man himself. This is heavily influenced by headcanons that are based on what I noticed his personality being based on what we know so far.

So when I first encountered Kashin Koji there was hardly anything on him, which is to say, still very true currently. He hasn't been seen in the manga after his crushing defeat against Isshiki, and in the anime, they've given him a voice, and we see how he acts, but ultimately it doesn't differ from what we've already read in the manga (if you or any of the ones reading this have read it).

So Kashin Koji is, despite being quite whimsical, a no nonsense kinda guy. So he is very...well, I wouldn't call it by the book, but as a shinobi, he chooses the most efficient way to carry out the mission, which is...by default, how Amado had initially programed him-- Not as a perfectionist, no, but as Isshiki would say it, Amado's programming of Kashin Koji rode on his maker clinging onto Jiraiya's mighty fate. However, with Jiraiya being the template, it's not a surprise if Koji would inherit the man's sentiments, principles, and even slight eccentricities as a Shinobi (which I believe Amado had predicted and saw as a weakness. He needs and creates tools as he sees fit, and he'll use whatever he can to further his agenda). Amado strives to emulate within Kashin Koji the "star of change" which Jiraiya possessed. As we know, thanks not only to the prophecy, but also due to Jiraiya's diligence in searching for that revolutionary that could change the world, he was able to bring together (in one way or another) three of the most powerful game changers that we have who affected the course of the current History. If they wanted to defeat Isshiki, he needed that kind of trick up his sleeve. Because however, Kashin Koji has imperfections, and someone Jigen had deemed weaker than he is (because Jigen told Amado to dispose of clones more powerful than he was), our good professor faces a setback and thus needs to come up with a new plan (going to the Hokage, and asking them to kill Isshiki instead while having Kashin Koji show them the "ropes" on how it's done).

My take on him stems from this human weakness. Kashin Koji is aware of who he's supposed to be a clone of. We see this when he comments on his fate being tied to Konoha and the like. And admittedly, knowing your predecessor's legacy, not to mention having been able to perfect something that the original couldn't gives him a bit of an ability to brag, and believe that he can be just as great or even greater than Jiraiya.

But the question is how convinced he is of this himself. I do believe that Kashin Koji wants to be a person of his own, and in being the perfect heroic shinobi tool, even if he dies, it wouldn't be for naught so long as he brings down his target (which happens to be the biggest threat since Madara, Tobi, and Kaguya). Believing that Amadao was entrusting the fate of the world in his hands bolstered his confidence. However, when Isshiki pointed out the painful truth of Amado's betrayal and deception, he internally refuses to accept it. That he was just a pawn, and that he'd never break free from being nothing but Jiraiya's shadow. I always felt that if at the baseness of Jiraiya's personality, you have a decent grasp of his shortcomings, regrets, and insecurities, you'll get a good grasp of Kashin Koji too. Although it's just my headcanon (and people dont really have to abide by it), Koji too, is plagued by this ever looming sense of not being good enough, as well as not living up to the name of his original (very much like how Jiraiya felt his accomplishments dont match that of Sandaime or Minato).

So after this long explanation on my take on Kashin Koji, you may ask where Kiomi comes in. Well, she comes in as a form of support.

Just as with Naruto's unreasonable worry, the first time that Kiomi sees Kashin Koji, she's instantly unreasonably bothered by him as well. Worse, when the mask comes off, and she sees his face she is instantly appalled and angry because everything that she's been keeping inside is dragged to the surface. Of course, none of this was Kashin Koji's fault. It was more of Kiomi's own regret, and seeing him was like opening a can of worms for her, reminding her of all the things she wanted to do and say had her teacher been alive. At the same time, she's very irked that someone was running around with his face, because someone had the gall to deliberately make a "knock off" as she calls it, of the man she respects the most.

With this much animosity, one would wonder how Kiomi becomes his support. While Kiomi and Kashin Koji initially dislikes each other, the woman rejects the fact that he's just "some clone", as he is also a person who deserves to live his life as himself regardless of whether he was created as a tool or as a clone. If you remember from my first post about Kiomi and Jiraiya's relationship, this was exactly the same kind of treatment that Jiraiya gave Kiomi when she viewed herself as nothing more than a disposable chess piece. She doesn't say this outright to Kashin Koji though. He learns this on his own. Seeing that someone believed in his own possibilities gave him a little peace of mind, just a little. In effect, this draws his curiosity. Kashin Koji being an Inner of Kara does his assignment pretty well, so he would by effect, know who she was as too. He believed she would be one of those who would constantly see him as a glorified Kagebunshin, but surprisingly she didn't. In fact, seeing as he was who he was, it would make him a perfect replacement, but she didn't treat him like that. This makes him loosen up around her, enough that his usually snide and sarcastic remarks are now laced with a hint of fond teasing. Ironically, she hates it when he does this, as it reminds her of Jiraiya. (Because Jiraiya often teases her about one thing or another.)

One of my favorite interactions of them is probably this one, just because it shows a little bit of both their internal struggles and how they deal with each other.

===

“Tell me,” Instead of standing to leave, he remained seated opposite from her. Kashin Koji removed the mask which barred a portion of his face that she was surely uncomfortable seeing. And he was right. She averted her eyes briefly, before putting up a look of feigned indifference once their optics finally met.

There was relative distress in her features, that much he could tell while staring at her…curiously, seriously. “Do I resemble him? This Jiraiya of yours.”

Looking at him was like staring into a nightmare, a stark reminder of what she could never hope to have. However, she understood his question. They were past simple notions of physicality. It wasn’t just about his face, nor was it about his origin. It was deeper than that. For Kiomi’s alleged simple-mindedness, this concept was not something so hard to grasp. Not when this was the very base of the learnings she had inherited from the mentor she respected the most. Despite Jiraiya and Kashin Koji’s shared similarities, they were still two very different people, each with their own uniqueness. Besides, denying a man his own identity was probably the cruelest judgment any living being could impose on another.

“You don’t.” The answer came simply; however, he did not miss the semblance of melancholy that lingered upon her visage. To him, it felt indicative of disappointment…such fragile and complicated feelings.

“I see.” Kashin Koji had closed his eyes then, satisfied with the answer. In a sense, he felt his lips curve into a smirk. Two words of reassurance; to think that hearing something so simple had such a significant impact. And as for Kiomi who had only seen the man scowl at her existence, this look on his face for the first time caused her chest to ache. Perhaps in her words, she knew not if a lie existed; if only because such an expression looked frighteningly similar to her teacher’s.

“The two of you must have loved each other very dearly.” At this point, he had refocused his gaze upon the female, only to raise a brow shortly after. He had never seen anyone choke on air before. Her flustered features shouldn’t have been anything extraordinary, but it felt amusing. “Was I mistaken?”

“Yes, you’re wrong! You’re very wrong!” She retorted, her flushed face, easily beating the most crimson of fruits. “Everything, this…my…they’re all just…” She tried to calm down as she explained. “…they’re all just…what I’m trying to say is…whatever they are, they’re all just one-sided emotions…” She looked downtrodden. He recalled Naruto saying that their mentor died while she was away figuring out herself, and had carried a burden none of them could share. Jiraiya had meant everything to them, each within varying degrees unknown just how much to the other.

After learning that all of this was one sided, he looked at her with lethargy. “Are you actually an idiot after all?”

“Oi, you actually dare to call me an idiot in my own house? Besides, it’s not like I stood a chance against the person he sought after.” It wasn’t a secret to her after all, that he had his eyes on Lady Tsunade. What chance did she have against someone who had shared in his losses, successes, strife, and victories?

“Was what you felt actually so flimsy that it lost to someone else’s? Did you confirm it with your own mouth?”

The questions that bombarded her, matched with such an unexpected interrogator threw her off. So much that when she had come to her senses, she found herself face to face with Kashin Koji. If she was distraught earlier, then the ante had been upped then and there. Trapped in between his arms, being stared at, it felt horrible and suffocating for many reasons that she convinced herself that she couldn't understand. “Should I teach you just how lofty your feelings are?” He lingered so close, too close for comfort. But that was where she drew the line. Steeling herself, she pulled her head back just enough to give her some room to drive her forehead down against his. THWACK!

Both of them found themselves clutching their heads, one clicked his tongue and the other was cussing up a storm in her mind--and verbally, apparently.

“Don’t you dare mock me—“

She was on the verge of throwing him out, but there he was, laughing, collapsed on the floor as he held onto his forehead. She stifled her annoyance because she remembered how; pranks of the same nature had been done to her, by none other than her favorite mentor. And he would laugh just the same. At least sensei’s were a little more innocent and subtle. “Don’t laugh at me either!” She demanded with childish vigor, kicking him in the shin repeatedly. He fended them off well enough, which added to her irritation.

“That’s enough out of you.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do in my own hou—hou—“ That was to say, if she wasn’t going to stop her assault, then he would have to play along. Grabbing her ankle when she struck, he pulled her over; just enough to make her balance crumble, bringing her down effectively.

“What the actual hell is wrong with you?”

“Even now, you’re struggling to protect what’s important to you. You may be a bit weaker than others, but it doesn’t seem like you’re lacking in persistence and perseverance. What are you so afraid of?”

Again with questions and commentaries that she did not ask for…

Her silence was enough of a response. Regrets, apprehensions, guilt, it was painted on her face. Shaking his head, Kashin Koji came to a stand and dusted himself, thereafter extending a hand for her to take.

“At the very least, come up to the starting line and show that mentor of yours your resolve.”

She begrudgingly looked at the hand that was offered to her. She felt ashamed and annoyed at herself because she knew that his point was valid. He wasn’t wrong, and in fact, he made more sense than she had wanted to admit. With an inward sigh, she took that hand and he helped her to her feet.

“…” Their grasp on each other persisted for a while. There was no warmth there; no comfort of a familiar friend, but there was a firmness that was enough to uproot whatever doubt it was that crept within the confines of her mind. She wouldn’t exactly call the other’s presence reassuring, but in a sense it was something close to it.

“Tsk, just who do you think you are? Acting all high and mighty?” Compared to before, the scowl had turned a bit friendly, but a scowl none the less.

“In case you haven’t heard or have been mistaking me for someone else, it’s Kashin Koji.” He replied with a tinge of whimsy in his voice. Matched with that was a tighter grip on the female’s hand which she reciprocated in kind. “Kiomi.” She rebutted against his satirical introduction.

When they at last released each other, there was probably a reddening mark there, but it also seemed like they’ve come to a certain understanding. “With a grip like that, what do you even hope to accomplish?”

Everything that comes out of his mouth is a fucking insult… Kiomi mused, unabashed by such a sentiment. Still, she watched him retrieve his mask only to wear it over his face once more. “I’ve a scouting mission at the Hokage’s behest. Two days time.” He stated out of the blue, walking towards her direction, incidentally near the exit. “Join me.”

“And why exactly, should I do that?” Folding her arms over her chest, she asked.

“Learn something useful rather than wallow in your self-pity.” Just before he could pass her completely, the intruder halted to cup her cheeks, moving it side to side casually.

(I made a thing.Lol Kiomi and her tendency to get manhandled.) There was no tenderness there, rather it seemed like he was inspecting a toy for some kind of defect. “You dont seem outclassed by anyone, not even by the Godaime. Put yourself to good use. You are a Shinobi, after all.”

“What does Lady Tsunade even have to do with this?”

“Who else would you feel so inferior to? It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Besides,”

Finally, he’d relinquish his hold to observe her frame carefully. She was a slender woman, possibly bordering voluptuous underneath all that fabric. From the wrinkles and silhouette of her attire, he could tell that she was filled out in all the right places. Fair skin, a set of apprehensive platinum orbs…among other things. “You have the curves. Maybe not the appeal and self confidence, but you have the curves. You’ll be fine.”

Perhaps it was in that retort that Kiomi ran after Kashin Koji as he left her place, albeit with a senbon or two hurled at the man. “I was wrong; you’re probably just as much of a letch as sensei!”

The projectiles were caught between the fingers and twirled around with ease, no troubles at all. He contemplated for a mere second before deciding to keep them as a souvenir. “You wound me with your presumptuousness. I'm a busy man, and have no time for countless women. Such a disappointing assessment.” He waved her off, walking away and finally disappearing from sight.

===

Pardon the length, but this is how they normally interact in my story.

Koji serves as a challenge for Kiomi, while Kiomi serves as a "net" for Koji so that when he falls pray to his feeling of incompetency, he remembers that she expects him to plainly be Kashin Koji, and no one else. Both of them remind each other of something important which they both hope would make them better versions of themselves.

So what kind of relationship do they have? I'm pretty sure it's along the lines of frienemies.

#|| Breaking the Ice || Answered #super-kame-love #I told myself this was going to be an quick explanation for both #Lol. 10 hours later... #Kashin Koji has reached that level of comfort with her where he can just use his face to piss her off.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Queen of the Journey”

Stuck on a bus traveling home for the holidays, so I decided to do some writing. I’ve had this idea since the beginning, but one of you readers recently reminded me of this idea again, so thank you and enjoy :)

There is something indomitable about the human spirit. It’s something no one, not even the humans, will ever truly understand. There are two ways of doing things in the rest of the galaxy. You can be isolated, and individual that understands only the genetic knowledge of his species. You may interact with others, you may have family units, but you will never understand those around you on a personal level. Or you can be connected, this comes in many forms, a hive mind or a collective well of knowledge the entire species pulls from. They understand each other quite fully. No one is ever alone.

But then there are humans, I won’t start by saying that humans are special or unusual because I think that has been said before. What I want you to understand is that humans are isolated in their knowledge of themselves. There is not a specie wide well of knowledge from which they can pull their behavior and understanding. There is not a template by which they live their lives, yet, somehow they can experience a welling of empathy to understand others around them. They seem to know the struggles of their fellows without the hive mind to connect them.

Not only this, but no matter where the human comes from, there is always an understood knowledge of thing humans can connect with. They speak of the same anthems, stories, photographs, and memories like they all have a personal connection. Though the humans were not born with a hive mind to connect them, that did not stop them.

They made one.

They share their knowledge by casting it out into the ether, to an unknown server of vast knowledge to access at their leisure no matter their location across the galaxy,

I know it sounds farfetched, but because of this man-made hive mind, the humans understand each other’s experiences in a way that any other species like them will never understand their fellows. A human from earth and a human from Mars may still understand each other and connect over the same things.

They have been doing this for thousands of years.

***

“Keep moving, human!” Captain Vir stumbled a bit against the weight of the slap delivered to the back of his head. Krill could hear the sound of his bionic leg desperately trying to react to the imbalance and keep the man upright.

With a glower, the human turned to the alien soldier eyes narrowed. He probably would have spit at the creature, but the aliens had taken precautions against the human’s poison breath, placing a spit shield over his nose and mouth. Not only that, but the human’s hands were bound behind him.

A soldier grunted turning to ignore the human to look down at Krill, “What do we do with this one?” He asked

A slightly larger beast, likely the soldier’s commander, trundled up turning to look down at Krill’s small, trembling frame, “He has chosen his side, let him suffer the same as they.”

Krill was pushed aggressively forward violently careening towards the ground, saved only by a last minute inflation of his hydrogen sack.

Behind him, the creatures laughed cruelly.

Up ahead, Captain Vir had turned to watch him. Krill desperately looked to the human for an idea, and while the man’s gaze was reassuring, Krill didn’t dismiss the worried twist of the human’s lips as he stared around at the hulking soldiers.

Like a big, slow tide of dripping syrup, the herd of humans trudged slowly down the mass corridor at the behest of their captors. Isolated instances of rebellion were put down with extreme prejudice leaving the rest of their counterparts cowed.

Krill kept to the captain’s side seeing out his quiet confidence and indomitable optimism to trick himself into thinking they would be alright. He could see the human’s brain working, gears grinding along in his head as he tried to think his way out of the situation.

It was looking less and less likely.

Ahead, the hallway slowly opened expanding outwards into a massive cavern alive with the sound of hushed voices and the oppressive heat of many bodies.

Captain Vir paused at the lip of the room eyes widening at the sight before him. Krill paused at the same time and for the same reason. There were HUNDREDS of humans here, many shapes, colors, sizes, and races all packed together side by side. As the new visitors arrived, they lifted their heads sunken eyes and pinched cheeks demonstrating their defeat. They looked on with disinterest and apathy as the newcomers were shoved forward to join their midst. They did not speak, they did not laugh, and they did not rebel.

It was a terrible sight, the hollowness of so many humans given up from ever escaping their captivity.

Krill had never imaged something so terrible. So impossible. Humans didn’t give up.

Humans could not be brought low, but here was his proof.

They had waded a good way into the cavern by now, and at the behest of their captors, they were shoved to their knees to sit next to their dead-eyed counterparts.

Captain Vir took it upon himself to immediately make conversation with the next human over.

“Where are we/”

The human turned to look at him sad dark eyes glazed halfway with his defeat, “Does it matter?”

Captain Vir sat back frowning as the human went back to his contemplation. Head down, silent.

He took another look around the room glancing at Krill, “We could take them. There are so many more of us than there are of them. If we all moved at once, than there would be nothing they could do.”

Off to the side, the first lieutenant shook his head, “That doesn’t matter if they’ve given up.”

The captain frowned, “Than I guess we will just have to increase morale.”

The other members of the crew shook their heads in exasperated admiration. There was no getting that man down.

Captain Vir tapped his foot softly listening and waiting as the hours past. He kept his head down, but his eyes were sharp. Vir wondered what the man was concocting, what could he come up with that would lift the spirits of a thousand humans all at once.

There couldn’t be something that powerful, could there.

The hours dragged on.

Krill was just beginning to fade into his sleep-like trance, when Captain Vir sat up suddenly. The rest of the crew sensed his movement and turned to look eyes expectant and hopeful.

“What?”

The Captain shook his head, “You’ll see.”

And then he began to sing.

Just a small town girl

He stopped quickly as around him, the humans lifted their heads in confusion and recognition. The deep thrum of his voice echoed around the cavern causing an immediate shift as the other humans turned to see who was singing. Krill felt a burst of shivers run over his body, but despite the human’s voice, he didn’t see how this would help.

Living in a lonely world!

Around him the crew members shifted in confusion and surprise, but slowly they joined in. Krill wasn’t really surprised that they knew the song.

She took the midnight train going anywhere!

All around the room eyes were raised and bodies shifted.

Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit! He took the midnight train going anywhere!

A sudden crack of noise, and a soldier stepped forward, “STOP!” A whip cracked, the humans flinched. The captain clutched his arm in pain.

The cavern went silent.

The soldiers turned back to their duty satisfied the humans had been cowed. Krill slumped, oh well it was a long shot anyway.

And then, from across the cavern, a voice responded.

A singer in a smoky room.

The smell of wine and cheap perfume.

The alien soldier hissed and turned, but the singer had gone quiet. He stalked forward.

For a smile they can share the night it goes.

On

And on

And on

And on

Each time the lyrics rang out a different voice, or many voices accompanied it. Never the same person twice. The soldiers shifted around in circles doing their best to identify the source of the sound.

Humans weren’t supposed to have hive minds were they! Than how were they doing this!

Strangers waiting up and down the boulevard.

Their shadows

Searching in the night.

There were too many voices now, too many human voices rising into the dark making the cavern shake and ring.

Don’t stop! Believin’

Captain Vir turned to the crew a grin spreading across his face at Krill’s confused awe. Humans around them that had once slumped in defeat raised their voices to the tune of defiance. Eyes once dull sparked to life with the glow of human spirit rill knew so well.

“Now on to phase two.” Around them, the song was trailing off. They were moving to the end and the humans weren’t sure where to go, “A battle anthem.”

Thud thud Clap…. Thud thud clap

Grins

The rest of the crew easily joined in, and then the humans close to them took up the rhythm as easily as only humans could.

Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise

Playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day

More feet, more fists, and a hundred more voices.

We will we will rock you

Humans were rising to their feet now straining against their bonds as the soldiers rushed around in panic and horror.

You got blood your face!

You big disgrace!

Now they were all surging to their feet in one mass wave. Soldiers everywhere snapped their whips and brandished their weapons, but there were so many humans, and they were so close. Their voices raised louder and louder till their overwhelmed any other sound. Krill felt as if he was being carried upwards on a wave of exaltation as the humans roared their battle cry. He leaped to his feet with them surges of pride and anger rolling through him.

Somebody better put you back into your PLACE!!!

Somewhere a set of bonds snapped. Krill watched in stunned shock as another man broke his own thumb in order to slip out of his bonds.

WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU

They moved forward like an unstoppable wave taking back their freedom in a matter of moments in the space of two iconic songs

***

The Captain says that not EVERY human knows those songs, but he had wagered to bet that the majority of them would know. It’s a weird thing about humans, they connect to each other in ways that other species don’t understand.

Their writers and their singers capture emotion and shackle it to their songs.

They speak through the ages with these emotions victory, and oneness that every human can understand.

The humans don’t understand the power of their collective understanding, and I don’t think they ever will.

You cannot capture the spirit or the pride of a human, you may hide it, or you may lock it away for some time, but there is no capturing, and there is no defeating their true nature.

You cannot bind a human’s soul.

#humans are weird #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #earth is space australia

[lacquerware]

Mega Man should stop presenting its flaws as indispensable features

When I was fifteen, I learned to play the song Malagueña on the piano. It was a laborious project; the culmination of nine years of piano lessons under the tutelage of Mrs. Diane Miller, and the main event for her upcoming student showcase.

This arrangement of the piece was a seven-pager, and somewhere around page four was a problem phrase I kept playing wrong, a rapid two-handed run up the keyboard with tricky fingering. I got to a point where I could play flawlessly up to that phrase, only to flub the phrase every time. Each time I flubbed it, my teacher would stop me and send me back to page 2. “You have to perfect that phrase,” she would say, “so try it again, but first play the preceding two pages, so it’s no longer fresh in your mind by the time you get to it again.” Alas, this would result in more flubs, and after three flubs in a row she would send me back to the beginning of the entire piece. “You’re still not getting it,” she’d say. “So I think we should run through the stuff you’ve already mastered one more time.” I would glance at her, trying to read her intent, and she would stare back at me, bug-eyed and malevolent.

The above story is false,because Mrs. Miller was a kind, intelligent, and non-insane person. Like all people of that description, she understood that you don’t work out a problem area by indiscriminately repeating ALL PRACTICE. When you get one problem wrong on a math quiz, you don’t review the entire textbook. You don’t work on your free throws by drilling layups and then also free throws. You can’t learn to poach an egg by toasting English fucking muffins all day. To suggest otherwise is an act of hostility.

Mega Manhas always carried this hostility. The game dishes out its challenges in neat little screen-sized units, but penalizes your failures with gratuitous setbacks, often requiring you to replay entire stages from the beginning. This makes learning inordinately tedious. You have to retread every yard for every yard gained.

I guess this is a relic of the arcade age, when games were designed with the express intent of punishing players—unless they paid up. Indeed, most of Mega Man’s NES contemporaries inherited this same feature in the form of finite lives and scarce checkpoints, but it never made much sense on home consoles. You could argue that it prolonged the lifespan of each game, but that only held true for the masochists who continued to tolerate this torturous system rather than reallocate all that wasted time to more fruitful pursuits like, I dunno, learning to play piano or poach an egg.

I’ve always liked Mega Man, but it was already starting to feel like a tired concept as early as Mega Man IV. I was about eight years old by then, and starting to catch on that they were running out of boss motifs. Pharaoh Man felt like a red flag.

Mega Man has since proliferated into a multi-faceted franchise spanning more than 120 titles and three decades (and for the record, I’ve played through almost all of them), but it’s never really dispensed with its ancient baggage. Mega Man X brought new visual flare while diversifying the core action; Mega Man Zero imbued the series canon with new consequence and cool factor; Mega Man ZX fused the classic gameplay with the Metroidvania template; but all of these spin-offs continued to punish, punish, punish, to gatekeep their content from the series’ own consumers to no certain end.

When Capcom revealed Mega Man 9, I was momentarily taken with the nostalgia of it, but quickly lost interest when I realized that Capcom had no intent of evolving the series’ concepts, even in basic quality-of-life ways. Lives and weapon energy were still pointlessly commodified, checkpoints sadistically scarce. They’d even removed what few innovations the series had seen to date, such as the slide and the charge shot. Nor did the roster of Robot Masters appear any more inspired than the cast of rejects that had turned me off five installments prior. Capcom had had seventeen years to think about it and all they’d come up with were lame analogs of pastbosses, like Tornado Man and Magma Man. It’s like they thought they hadto retread the same shit beat for beat or people would get confused. Even their ace, Splash Woman, was just another in a long line of water-themed bosses.

Mega Man 10 as a follow-up was downright depressing. Strike Man, Pump Man, and Chill Man are what you get when you realize yesterday was the deadline and all you’ve got is a pen and a cocktail napkin. I can’t fathom that a bunch of game designers sat around brainstorming ideas for Mega Man fucking 10 and someone was like, “Hmm, what about an ice-themed boss.”

Now we have Mega Man 11, the long-awaited, belligerently-demanded revival of the MM franchise after some eight years of dormancy. After playing the demo, I find myself wondering why. Why are we here? Why is Mega Man 11 Capcom’s answer after saying no to Mega Man for eight years? It’s the SAME.

Yes, it looks and sounds nicer and there’re a couple new mechanics—which are themselves comically uninspired takes on the ancient tropes of bullet time* and Devil Trigger—but I’m mystified at how unchanged the formula still is after eight years of seemingly adamant dismissal of the entire franchise, let alone the thirty-one years they could’ve been critically examining it. Do they realize that other developers have been building on this genre since the eighties?

*Weird side note: The tutorial for Mega Man’s new “Speed Gear” ability explains that the gear makes you “move so fast that everything else seems slow,” but in practice Mega Man moves just as slowly as everything else. So it’s not Mega Man who’s moving fast, it’s. . . the player?  

Punishment as “Difficulty”

In the Block Man (lol) stage of the demo, there’s a section where you have to jump and slide through elaborate platforms as they scroll toward you, an insta-kill grinding device nipping at your heels all the while. The third platform has very peculiar collision detection, such that your head bonks against the empty space you’re supposed to jump through, seemingly rendering the challenge impossible. This is several screens into the stage but still prior to the first checkpoint (on Normal mode), so every time this platform killed me, I had to start the entire stage over. After about fifteen tries, I discovered that the collision doesn’t trigger if you’re holding left as you make the jump—an illogical thing to do unless you’ve died so many times you’ve run out of other ideas. By the time I cracked this idiosyncrasy, I’d already spent close to an hour replaying the preceding screens over and over for no reason. Why is this still a thing? This is punishment, not difficulty. It contributes to the challenge only in that it makes the experience less fun, “challenging” your resolve to continue playing. Think of all the origami you could be learning. All the old ladies you could be helping cross streets.

The Mega Man games are quite clever in the way they parse out the platforming and shooting in little bite-sized units. Each screen is essentially an action puzzle for you to solve. It would be so logical for each screen break to be a checkpoint, because each screen break isa checkpoint—the start of the next challenge. Games like Super Meat Boy do this, meting (meating?) out their challenges in bite-sized, infinitely repeatable increments. Nobody accuses Super Meat Boy of being too easy because it doesn’t make you repeat the shit you’ve already completed when you fail at the current task. If you wantthat kind of punishment, no one’s stopping you from resetting the game.

Mega Man 11 adds a “Casual” mode which increases the number of checkpoints, but it’s still annoying to me that the more punishing model is treated as the norm while the more logical distribution of checkpoints is treated as a concession. Soulsplayers will tell me to “git gud,” but that’s why I led with the piano analogy. I got damn good at Malagueña, and I still had time left over to do my homework and play video games.

Special Weapons

Using your Special Weapons in Mega Man games is like spending the money you might need to pay rent on stuff you could be getting for free through your well-connected friend Dave. The trial-and-error pairing of the right weapon and the right boss is such an integral part of Mega Man’s progression that any other use of anyspecial weapon becomes a high-risk gamble—unless, of course, you just Google the answers.

I understand the need to impose limits on the more powerful weapons, but games have figured out countless better ways to do this in the thirty-one years since Mega Man 1. Cool-down times. Cool-down meters. Recovery proportional to damage inflicted. Recovery proportional to damage received. Recovery by way of skillful attack, à laMetal Gear Rising. Enemy fire absorption à la Alien Soldier and Radiant Silvergun. Ranger X on the Sega Genesis had solar-powered special weapons; why not steal that idea for this game’s allegedly solar-powered protagonist?

Instead, even in its eleventh installment in two-thousand-goddamn-eighteen, Mega Man still employs an RNG-based item drop system. Replenishing your meter is as simple and menial as finding an enemy spawn point and brainlessly standing and shooting until an enemy happens to drop the energy you need. Don’t forget to cycle over to the gun you want to replenish, or else the battery is wasted, as if Mega Man just eats it by mistake.*

*Later games in the series introduced the Energy Balancer, a purchasable item which automatically refills the weapon that needs refilling even if you don’t have it selected. Why is that a thing you have to buy? Why put a fundamental improvement to the game behind a paywall, virtual or otherwise?

Meanwhile, MM11still employs the same bizarre meter continuity between deaths as past installments. Each death means repeating sections of the stage without reacquiring any previously spent meter, effectively creating a difficulty vortex—the harder this game is, the harder it gets. There was a ruthlessly capitalistic logic to this in the arcade days,but the Mega Man series has never been coin-operated (with a few obscure exceptions). It hasnevermade sense that, often, the best strategy is to voluntarily leap to your death over and over to force a Game Over, just to restart with a full weapon meter as an alternative to the tedium of refilling it manually or facing the boss without it. What is the explanation for this meter continuity in the first place? Are we supposed to think Mega Man is repeatedly exploding and materializing but he can’t materialize a few extra shots from his bubble gun while he’s at it? There’s a multi-faceted idiocy to this whole system.

Rush

Capcom ought to take a long, hard look at Rush, Mega Man’s transforming robot dog companion. It’s hard to believe the same guy who invented a fully autonomous solar-powered robot boy couldn’t design a dog-shaped spring that runs on renewable energy. Special weapons are one thing, but why does Rush have an exhaustible meter? He’s a fucking spring. It makes no sense as a narrative detail nor as an element of game design. What exactly are the designers trying to limit? Your ability to spam high jumps? The logistics of the Rush Coil already do that; you have to set him up like a lawn ornament and he peaces out after a single bound. He’s unspammable, even with a full bar. To begin with, there are rarely that many useful opportunities to use the Rush Coil within a single stage, and energy power-ups are infinite as long as you’re willing to endure the chore of finding them, so it’s not as though the game is challenging you to budget your resources—it’s just discouraging you from searching for those meaningful jump opportunities in the first place. It’s driving you to Google.

Bosses

The Robot Masters have always received special star treatment in the Mega Man games but rarely been very interesting as boss fights. You know the deal: dodge the dizzying hail of projectiles in an empty square room while desperately scrambling to land enough hits with the weakness weapon before you die. Considering all the fanfare these bosses get (mug shot, intro screen, and now reveal trailers), most of them feel kind of interchangeable. Most of them have nearly identical silhouettes and shoot functionally redundant projectiles in superficially different shapes. Every gun is a Lucky Charms marshmallow.

The boss fights actually do seem a little more interesting in Mega Man 11—Block Man in particular stands out with his mid-fight transformation into a hulking colossus. I’d hoped to see more of this in future Mega Mans—fights that evolve and really set each Robot Master apart as a distinct embodiment of its corresponding motif—so maybe they’re onto something this time. Still, it’s a little ridiculous that this game has yet another fire boss, electricity boss, cold boss, and bomb boss. Why are we still here?

Before the mob comes for me, I want to stress that there’s always been lots to love about Mega Man, and I’m glad Capcom is investing in the IP again. I just hope this is the start of a long-term effort to reevaluate and improve the series, not another short-sighted extension of a tired status quo.

#mega man 11 #mm11 #capcom #games #video games #videogames #gaming #reflections #demo #games writing #criticism #rant

[lscreativedesigns]

Guerilla Advocacy Campaign: Bee Genocide Reflection

For my Guerilla Advocacy Campaign, I chose bee genocide. Bees are currently endangered and have been going extinct since the 1990s. Bees are endangered by many different things, situations, etc. The biggest threat to their survival is climate change, habitat loss, pesticides, parasites, pathogens, and many other things, but combine all of those and the decline of their survival can be severe. By changing our habits such as eating, spending, and others, we can change the rate of decline and possibly even build the bee population all together. Through Adobe Illustrator, InDesign, and Photoshop I implemented my design in different forms; a t-shirt, mug, brochure, poster, and tote-bag. I designed a logo in Photoshop in which I placed on all the forms used to implement my design. My topic needs advocacy because without bees we would live in a completely different world. A world without bees would see a decline in our health, economics, and environmental health. While the poster is more simplified, the brochure contains the most information. The poster is meant to be more simplified so people that are ‘on-the-go’ can walk past and see where they can find other useful information that they can take more time to get into at a different time. The brochure has more information, not only that, but more graphics as well. The brochure explains to whomever reads it why my topic is important, what is happening to bees, ways to help, and where they can look up more information. The graphics that I used in the brochure are simplified, similar to the poster. The graphics draw the reader/viewer through the brochure so they can easily understand what is going on. It offers simple and easy ways to get involved in the campaign. Visually I created design/graphics that are universally understood and identifiable as to what they are supposed to be. I think that I kept the words in the brochure as simple as possible so that all people in most age groups (that can read) can understand what I am advocating for. The color scheme and graphics are all united throughout each form that my design was implemented on.

           Before I started my process, I thought it would be relatively simple, but I was wrong. I originally did not like any of the sketches or wireframes that I made. I had to combine parts of each one to get the look that I wanted and what I thought was possible with the time frame that we were given. All the graphics that I rendered took the most time, and ultimately what I decided to get done first. I made a simple template of each graphic that I could easily edit the small details of each. I then went through each graphic to figure out and decide which one was cohesive and unified with them all. For each graphic, whether that be the bee, honey pot, dollar bill, etc., I traced each one with a realistic image to make it as close to the original as I could.

Ultimately the process was very stressful and difficult in my opinion. There were certain designs that weren’t working with what I wanted to do, and I would end up using a different Adobe platform. I am a very picky person and coming to a design that I liked and what I thought others would like and be drawn to was not easy. Most of my designs this one included, are more simplified and minimalistic. It’s what appeals to me and in my opinion, others as well. I do think that I succeeded in what I was trying to convey. I am most proud of the brochure. It implements all the design pieces and conveyed all the information that I wanted to include. I think that redoing the graphics and designing them with small edits really helped me to narrow down what I wanted this campaign to look like. Before this project I had never used InDesign and I think that learning to use it was the most difficult part for me. I don’t like change and learning to use a new platform made me more uncomfortable and nervous about how the project would ultimately turn out. Overall, I think that if more time was allotted, I think that some of the other designs (the t-shirt, mug, tote bag, poster) could be more refined but for now I am happy with them.  

Works Cited

Appenfeller, Logan R., et al. “Citizen Science Improves Our Understanding of the Impact of Soil Management on Wild Pollinator Abundance in Agroecosystems.” PLOS ONE, Public Library of Science, journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0230007.

Boriana Slabakova Boriana is a lifelong pet lover with many years of experience working with a variety of domestic and exotic animals. Petpedia became her outlet to share her love for animals and what she has learned over the years. , et al. “43 Frightening Bee Statistics & Facts for 2021.” Petpedia, 18 May 2021, petpedia.co/bee-statistics/.

“Endangered Bees.” Importance, depts.washington.edu/triolive/quest/2007/TTQ07077/importance.html.

“Est. 2009 in Response to the Bee Crisis.” The Bee Conservancy, 31 Aug. 2021, thebeeconservancy.org/.

“Fact Sheet: The Economic Challenge Posed by Declining Pollinator Populations.” National Archives and Records Administration, National Archives and Records Administration, obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2014/06/20/fact-sheet-economic-challenge-posed-declining-pollinator-populations.

Foundation, Help Save the Bees. “Help Save the Bees.” Help Save the Bees, helpsavethebeesfoundation.org/.

“Home.” BeesCause, 1 Oct. 2019, beescause.com/.

“Issues: Pollinators & Pesticides.” Center for Food Safety, www.centerforfoodsafety.org/issues/304/pollinators-and-pesticides/bee-decline-and-pesticide-use-248.

Main, Douglas. “Bumblebees Are Going Extinct in a Time of 'Climate Chaos'.” Animals, National Geographic, 4 May 2021, www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/bumblebees-going-extinct-climate-change-pesticides.

Medicine, Center for Veterinary. “Helping Agriculture's Helpful Honey Bees.” U.S. Food and Drug Administration, FDA, www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/animal-health-literacy/helping-agricultures-helpful-honey-bees.

Mooney, Chris. “Bumblebees Are Dying across North America and Europe as the Climate Warms, Scientists Say.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 6 Feb. 2020, www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2020/02/06/bumblebees-are-vanishing-scientists-blame-climate-change/.

Schwartz, Jason, et al. “Save the Bees.” Greenpeace USA, 18 June 2014, www.greenpeace.org/usa/sustainable-agriculture/save-the-bees/.

“Why Bees Are so Important to Human Life and Health.” Medical News Today, MediLexicon International, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/why-are-bees-important-to-humans.

[chasholidays]

ALTERING OLD PROMPT REQUEST We're best friends and have been dating for over a month now but you won't kiss me so should we just break up and just be friends? But turns out you didn't know we were dating.

Clarke doesn’t claim to be good at dating. Prior to her senior year, she had had exactly one boyfriend, and it was Finn, and it went so badly that she thinks it was probably actually worse than having no experience at all. It set her back, in terms of competence.

Which makes the prospect of dating Bellamy very, very daunting.

For one thing, it’s Bellamy, and if anyone told her last year that she would be thinking about dating him, she would have laughed in their faces. But they were both working at the mall over the summer, and she got to actually talk to him, instead of just kneejerk bickering, and not only is he now one of her best friends, she really likes him, and she thinks he likes her too, and he’d probably be a pretty great boyfriend.

All she has to do is figure out how to ask.

“Don’t overthink it,” Raven advises.

“Have you met me?”

“Just saying, he’s crazy about you. It’s not going to be hard.”

“I should just ask him to the dance, right? That’s easy.”

“That means you have to go to the dance, but sure.”

Clarke has to smile. “You’re going to the dance.”

“I’m helping Monty DJ, that’s different. You’ll be at the dance, which is not actually romantic.”

“It’s contextually romantic. If I ask him to come to the dance with me, I’m asking him out. Right?”

“That does sound like a date, yeah. But you could ask him to go to a movie. Dinner, maybe. Tell him you want to hang out and then jump him when he shows up.”

“I’m thinking that’s second, third, and fourth dates.”

“That means you’re waiting a while to jump him, but sure. Go with that.”

“I’m okay with going slow,” she admits. “I want to do it right.”

She and Raven had very different reactions to the Finn thing: Clarke turned in on herself and Raven fucked Bellamy on the rebound. Even if Clarke didn’t want to deal how Raven did, she understood it, and she knows Raven feels the same way about Clarke’s coping mechanisms.

So Raven puts her hand on Clarke’s shoulder, squeezes once. “Then I think you should ask him to the dance.”

Clarke smiles. “Okay, yeah. I will.”

*

She finds Bellamy in the library during their free period, because Bellamy is, at heart, Hermione: when in doubt, go to the library.

“Hey,” he says, giving her a smile. “What’s up?”

She takes a deep breath. “Are you going to the dance tomorrow?”

“I wasn’t planning to, why?”

“I thought—I was hoping you’d want to come with me.”

He frowns a little. “You’re going?”

“I thought we could go together. Just—see how it goes.”

For a second, he just frowns at her, but then his expression shifts, goes soft, and he gets it. “Yeah, okay. Do you want me to pick you up?”

She lets out a soft, relieved laugh, ducking her head. “That would be great.”

“Cool,” he says. “It’s a date.”

*

As Raven predicted, the dance itself isn’t great. She and Monty do their best with the music, but they’re fighting an uphill battle. It’s mostly just awkward, and Clarke will admit that there are about a thousand places she’d rather be.

Bellamy looks even more miserable, but he seems to have decided his lack of interest in the venue isn’t going to stop him being a good date. He sticks to her side except when he’s grabbing them food, makes jokes about how awkward it is, does his best to make sure she’s having fun.

Which is also an uphill battle.

“Maybe one dance and then we can go do something else?” she suggests.

He snorts. “I tried to warn you.”

“You did. But I wanted—it felt like a good gesture.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“Okay, so—“ Like he’s listening in on them, Monty starts up a slow song, and she offers Bellamy her hand. “One dance?”

“I’m a shitty dancer.”

“I don’t mind.”

It’s by far the best part of the event. Bellamy dressed up a little, made sure he looked nice and he’s smiling and close, and he likes her. Romantic is, like Raven said, a stretch, but she’ll settle for nice.

“So, what do you want to do now?” he asks.

“I could go for a burrito,” she decides. “Want to go to Ana’s?”

“That sounds great.”

They split a burrito, and when Clarke nudges his foot under the booth, he nudges back, smiling.

*

She doesn’t mean to follow Raven’s date template exactly, but in her defense, Bellamy starts it, because he asks her to the movies on Friday.

It’s honestly a little bit of a relief. The past week hasn’t been bad, by any means; obviously, she’s mostly seen Bellamy at school, but there’s been a lot of physical contact, her cuddling into his side at lunch and his putting his arm around her, a little more casual footsie, but she feels like she’s been making all the first moves.

“Yeah, that would be fun,” she says. “What’s out right now?”

“I haven’t seen Coco yet.”

It’s not exactly a date movie, but Clarke hasn’t seen it either, and she really wants to, which seems more important. It’s not like they need to go to a romance for it to be a good night out. She’d honestly rather see a movie they’re both into. Coco sounds like a great first date movie for the two of them.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Cool. We can grab something to eat first? I’ll pick you up at like six.”

“Perfect.”

When she tells her mother, Abby frowns a little. “Do we need to talk about this?”

“Talk about what?”

“I know Bellamy isn’t your first boyfriend, but–is there anything you need? I want you to be safe and happy.”

Clarke feels her neck heat. “We already had the talk, I still remember it. And we’re not–we’re taking it slow, okay? I really like him, I’m not–he’s a really good guy.”

“I’m not worried about that. I like Bellamy. I’m just–if there’s anything you need to talk about, I’m here. And I’d like you home by midnight.”

As conversations go, it’s relatively painless, and Clarke knows she should be grateful for it, but mostly it feels kind of awkward. Like her mother is watching them or something.

“I’m supposed to be home by midnight,” she tells Bellamy, sliding into the passenger seat.

“I told Octavia ten, it’s not a very long movie.” He flashes her a smile. “So, where are we eating?”

They do the mall food court; he pays for dinner and popcorn, she pays for the movie and soda. Every now and then, her attention wanders to the fact that they’re on a date, and she wonders if she should try to take his hand or something, but it’s in his lap, and she feels awkward.

Dating really does suck. Even when she’s dating Bellamy, it’s stressful.

“I had a really good time tonight,” she offers, in the car outside her house, and he smiles.

“Yeah, me too. Thanks for coming with me.”

“It’s not a hardship,” she teases.

“Hey, you didn’t always like hanging out with me.”

They make eye contact for a long, heavy moment, and Clarke wants to lean in so badly, to kiss him like she’s been dreaming about, but he clears his throat, looks away.

“So, uh–see you tomorrow? We’re doing video games at Miller’s, right?”

“Yeah,” she says, biting back on her disappointment. She wanted slow. Slow is good.

Despite her best efforts, he must be able to tell something is off, because he reaches over to brush her hair off her forehead, a warm, sweet gesture that really does wonders for her mood. “Goodnight, Clarke.”

“Goodnight.”

“Did you have fun?” her mother asks, clearly surprised to see her. “I expected you home later.”

“He has his sister to look after,” she says. “But yeah. I had fun.”

*

A month later, it’s less fun.

“I should just break up with him, right?” she asks, face down on the table.

Raven snorts. “Yeah, that’s the way to deal with the situation. Your relationship is moving too slowly, so instead of telling your boyfriend you want to get laid, you should just dump him. God forbid you have a conversation.”

“It’s not just that,” Clarke protests. “He’s not–I feel like he’s not really that into it. I’m always making the first move. Maybe I’m misreading things. He probably just didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”

“Yeah, maybe. I’m just saying, I’d ask him what he wanted before I skipped right to breaking up. You say he’s not into you, but I’m the one who sees the two of you together. Every time you kiss his cheek he looks like he’s going to die of happiness. If he doesn’t want to date you, obviously you guys should break up. I just think there’s maybe something else going on.”

“Maybe.” She sighs. “I’ll talk to him before I break up with him.”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

*

She really is meaning to, but it’s so hard, to have an actual conversation. Because being with Bellamy is about ninety percent good, if not more. There’s cuddling and warmth and she knows how much he likes her, and if not for the fact that he and Raven had hooked up, she’d think he just wasn’t interested in sex at all. Which she could live with, probably.

But they should talk about that too. She knows that’s the real solution, but when he invites her over to watch a movie “or something” on Saturday, it seems a lot easier to climb into his lap to kiss him.

As always, she’s never claimed to be good at this.

He doesn’t push her away, but he doesn’t respond either; he’s frozen, and that’s almost worse, this perfect boy she adores going cold and still under her.

“Clarke–” he starts, when she pulls away, back into her own space.

“You could have just said no,” she says, making herself angry instead of hurt. “When I asked you out.”

He blinks rapidly, as if he’s waking up. “You asked me out?” he asks. He sounds genuinely confused, like the idea had never occurred to him.

Which is ridiculous.

“We’ve been dating for a month!”

He drops back onto the couch with a groan, rubbing his face. “Holy shit. That’s–we have?”

“You didn’t know?”

“Fuck, I didn’t know what was happening. We were dating?”

“I guess not,” she says, gathering her knees to her chest. “I thought–”

“I’m so fucking into you,” he says. “It’s been–fuck. I thought you wanted to hook up, and I couldn’t just–when did we start dating? Why didn’t I know?”

“The dance last month,” she says, feeling herself start to smile. “Go back to how into me you are.”

He slides his hand into her hair, tugs her up, and kisses her, the kiss she’s been wanting, all warmth and affection. She melts into his arms, kissing back, and it’s so, so perfect.

“I thought you wanted to get back into dating,” he says. “When you asked me to the dance, I thought you just wanted backup. I wasn’t going to say no, but–” His laugh is less amusement and more disbelief. “Fuck, you were asking me out. And then I asked if you wanted to see a movie and–”

“And it was a nice second date.”

“Fuck,” he says, and tugs her closer, kisses her again, longer and deeper, and before she knows it she’s on her back with him on top of her, which is basically exactly where she wanted to be. “I can’t believe I could have been doing this for a month.”

“A lot longer than a month.”

He grins. “Okay, I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want to do that for a month. Can I make it up to you?”

She tangles her fingers in his hair, pulls him back in. “Please,” she says, and he does.

*

“So, I was thinking we could go on a date tonight,” Bellamy says, on Friday. “Dinner, a movie, we make out after. Completely traditional and unambiguous.”

They’ve hung out after school three days this week, made out a lot, and Clarke had to buy better concealer so the hickey he left on her shoulder. Raven has been the smuggest person alive, for which Clarke can’t blame her. But she’s never been so sure she has a boyfriend, and a great one at that.

“So, you’re saying you want to date me? I didn’t get that. I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

He leans in and kisses her. “That’s what I’m saying, yeah. You interested?”

“Yeah,” she says. “I think I could pencil you in.”

#cxvern

[hamiltongolfcourses]

Has Golf Changed?

I played with him at Colonial the first week back out, but I sort of said, ‘OK, wait until he gets to a proper golf course, he’ll have to rein it back in.’ This is as proper as they come, and look what’s happened.”

—Rory McIlroy, on Bryson DeChambeau

“So many times I relied on science, and it worked every single time.”

—DeChambeau, following his U.S. Open victory

For a moment, let’s forget the specifics. Let’s forget the weight and distance gain, the muscle activation fitness regimen, the protein shakes, the single iron length, the putting lasers, and a thousand other things that fall under the umbrella of “science.” Forget it all and think broadly. We need some distance to understand Bryson DeChambeau’s win at the U.S. Open—the most consequential result for golf since Tiger Woods won the Masters in 1997—and to internalize the only conclusion that really matters: On an intellectual level, nobody else is trying hard enough.

If that sounds like an insult to a group of professionals who have dedicated their lives to becoming elite practitioners of the sport, so be it. DeChambeau is putting them to shame simply because he has the courage not just to seek out innovative ideas, but to pursue them with monomaniacal energy. His commitment is so rigorous, so fanatical, that everyone else comes off looking like a dilettante.

This makes people uncomfortable, fans and players alike, but the ultimate legacy of his astonishing win at Winged Foot—a course that was supposed to be the antithesis to and kryptonite for the DeChambeau Style—is that we can no longer dismiss him as a pretentious pseudoscientist. That comfort is gone, and now we reckon with a reality that forces from the mouths of the doubters the three most painful words imaginable.

He was right.

• • •

Let’s talk about Tiger in ’97. With that win at Augusta, which so quickly validated and then exceeded every bit of hype, the game was fundamentally changed. The kids who watched him then, and who are dominating the PGA Tour today, understood golf entirely through the context of Tiger. His power, his fitness, his passion, his competitive edge. These were the templates they followed. Some, like Patrick Reed, even began to wear red on Sunday and to speak with the same clipped cadence. Even in less extreme cases, Tiger’s physical and psychological influence was felt. You see it everywhere today; the game exists in his image.

What will the DeChambeau Effect look like? In 15 years, will we watch a new generation of hulked-up bombers chain-guzzle protein shakes, pecs bursting out of their golf shirts, each iron as long as the next, as they analyze complex topographical charts and an assistant clocks the speed of their putts?

The answer is, probably yes. DeChambeau is so full of good ideas that some of them are going to trickle down, particularly if he keeps winning. Whatever Chris Como, his coach, is doing, other coaches will do. Muscle activation technique, which has been a staple in the NFL for years, will become widespread in golf. Barring any major rules change, power will reign even more completely than it did before, and player physiques will reflect it. All of DeChambeau’s good ideas will be copied.

That’s because DeChambeau is golf’s answer to Billy Beane. He takes a Moneyball approach to every facet of the game; he’s open to literally any idea that might make the sport easier and help him shoot a low score, and he’ll pursue the slight edges with monastic fervor. Playing within a game that hews closely to tradition, socially and competitively, DeChambeau has the self-confidence to ignore conventional wisdom. The difference is that Beane sought out market inefficiencies because his Oakland A’s operated from a major payroll deficit. DeChambeau, on the other hand, was already supremely talented. When an NCAA and U.S. Amateur champ opens his mind to the cosmos in an effort to squeeze every possible advantage, Winged Foot is the result.

Writ large, that’s both the lesson and consequence of the past weekend, and the single element that young aspiring golfers should take to heart. To compete in the Bryson Era, it’s not enough to have talent and to work hard. You better think hard, too. You better be so committed that you treat golf like an experiment to be solved, and you better stumble upon your own innovations. DeChambeau’s long-lasting effect on this game won’t be physical. It will be mental.

• • •

Do you find DeChambeau invigorating, or infuriating? The answer probably says less about DeChambeau, and more about you, how you feel about change, about tradition, about innovation, and about the limitations of what golf should be.

Of all the players who commented on DeChambeau when it became clear that he would win the U.S. Open, Rory McIlroy’s remarks were the most interesting.

“I don’t really know what to say because that’s just the complete opposite of what you think a U.S. Open champion does,” McIlroy said. “Whether that’s good or bad for the game, I don’t know, but it’s just—it’s not the way I saw this golf course being played or this tournament being played. It’s kind of hard to really wrap my head around it … I think it’s brilliant, but I think he’s taken advantage of where the game is at the minute.”

Nobody explicitly asked him for an appraisal on whether it was “good or bad,” but in Rory’s defense, that part of the question is implied. Still, if you’re like me, you read a bit of negative judgment in the answer, and a bit of frustration. DeChambeau seems to have found a cheat code, and the idea that it’s working might seem unjust, especially to a player like McIlroy who has experienced a slew of difficulties at the majors in the last half-decade.

Yet to call it a shortcut is to undersell DeChambeau’s outrageous work ethic, the months of body transformation during the pandemic, the Saturday night range session under the lights at Winged Foot. Still, the ideas themselves aren’t so wild. If there’s a comical angle here, it’s that despite the caricature of DeChambeau as some kind of occult physicist, the fundamental beliefs behind his “innovations” are fairly simple. In July, I learned all about his weight gain and muscle training regimen, and while the specifics get pretty complicated, the reasoning behind it can be expressed with a very simple equation: More weight and more strength = more distance = more wins.

It’s not even a new concept. Tiger’s fitness regimen changed the game in similar ways, but DeChambeau wanted to do more than simply follow in Tiger’s footsteps. He wanted to continue the evolution and blow it out to its most extreme form, and his self-belief is so total that he refuses to be held back by cautionary tales.

Example: The reason most people thought he’d fail at Winged Foot is because the thick rough punishes errant tee shots, and DeChambeau’s length comes at the expense of accuracy. If you can’t hit fairways, you can’t win—not there. It sounds logical, but look closer and it’s easy to see how conventional wisdom fails. What actually happened, and what DeChambeau noticed before the week began along with his coach Chris Como and Mark Broadie, is that the fairways were so narrow that they punished everyone, long hitter or short. Nobody hitting driver could reasonably be expected to hold a high percentage. So, in that case, why not be long?

“Everyone talked about hitting fairways out here,” Xander Schauffele said on Sunday, when asked about DeChambeau. “It’s not about hitting fairways. It’s about hitting on the correct side of the hole … you’d rather be the guy in the rough with a lob wedge than with an 8-iron or 7-iron.”

Precisely. Of course, wide fairways pose the same conundrum. Punish everyone, and length wins. Punish no one, and length wins. You see the common denominator: Length wins.

Now, it’s not quite that simple. DeChambeau had a comprehensive game plan, played beautifully from the rough and was spectacular with the putter, particularly on Sunday. But it starts with rejecting the original idea, that aggression won’t work. It starts by rejecting the warnings.

• • •

The nice thing about athletic innovation is that the results are measurable. DeChambeau’s physical transformation attracts the bulk of public attention, and puts the focus on his drives (which are spectacular). Did it work? Well, in the 2020 season, he finished first in strokes gained/off the tee. That’s compared to 24th, 12th, and 35th in prior years. It worked.

His putting game deserves its own feature-length article, but you can get a small taste from this quote: “If I hit a 40-footer and it says 10.1 miles per hour on the device, I know that I’ve executed it correctly. And if I see the ball go two feet past that 40-foot mark, I know it’s perfect.” So it involves radar and arm locks and lasers and men holding towels when necessary. Did it work? In 2020, he finished 10th in sg/putting, compared to 28th, 32nd and a woeful 145th in prior years. It worked.

Today, his approach game is relatively poor (119th by the strokes gained metric last season), but you can bet he’ll find a way to improve that, too, and if his performance from the thick grass at Winged Foot is any indication, he’s on his way. “I don’t think they can set it up for him, to be honest,” Louis Oosthuizen said on Sunday, “he’s so strong out of the rough.” In fact, DeChambeau was first in the entire field at Winged Foot in strokes gained/approach, accumulating a massive 7.551 strokes in four rounds. It’s working.

You can view this success as a referendum on the specific techniques DeChambeau is using to improve his game. Yes, there will be copycats. He’ll be very influential in that regard, perhaps more than anyone since Tiger. But as DeChambeau himself readily concedes, “not everybody has to do it my way.” The fact that he’s thrived with muscle activation technique and lasers and protein shakes doesn’t mean that everyone will. It doesn’t even mean that he will, at least not forever.

The true revolution that DeChambeau has initiated is not a physical or technical one, brilliant as those elements might look today. No, he’s leading an intellectual transformation, and it’s defined by both the ability to consider golf in new and counterintuitive ways and the courage to pursue those ideas with a zealot’s obsession. In that sense, he has already lapped his contemporaries and put them on the defensive, and he’s done it on the basis of principles (“length wins!”) that seem shockingly obvious.

• • •

There’s a story, almost certainly apocryphal, about Christopher Columbus attending a dinner party at a nobleman’s castle after his voyages. At one point, a guest spoke up to say that discovering a new trade route to the Indies wasn’t such a great accomplishment; really, anyone could do it. Rather than respond, Columbus asked for an egg. When it arrived, he challenged everyone at the table to stand the egg straight on its end. They all tried, they all failed; the egg toppled every time. When they were done, Columbus took the egg, cracked the end, and stood it straight up with no problem. “And now that I’ve shown you how it’s done,” he said, “any fool could manage.”

Bryson DeChambeau has cracked the egg. What happens next is up to everyone else.

[roughsexwithgaga]

Glitter & Grease pt. 3

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2

The quivering heat made everyone lazy. Taylor had left for the beach together with two of his friends and their girlfriends. Gaga’s employees left to chill at a nearby beach bar to get out of the house since the air-condition seemed to fail on them again. She refused to ”fix” it again even though she was swimming in her own sweat on the couch. She felt the salty drops of sweat emerge from her neck and run down her back. Her hair was sticky and collected in a tiny bun. Joel was on the phone hunting the agency who owned the house and get someone to come and look at the cooling unit. It was insufferable to stay inside in the melting heat.

Gaga rubbed her fingers against her templates. The sweat made everything itch. She had a binder on her lap and it stuck to her wet skin. A loud exhale as a form of complaint slipped through her lips and she licked them. The cool air from her breath felt nice on the hands in front of her. She heard Joel rant in the other room and felt slightly uncomfortable. Squinting at the papers she closed her Macbook. He was talking to someone else now and sounding more relaxed talking about a screening. Good, Gaga thought. Hopefully he’d get jobs without dragging her brand into things. As if she wasn’t busy enough as it is.

She looked up and saw Joel stand by the window in the large living room. ”We should pull the blinds to shut out the heat at least.” He stood with his hands in his pockets and looked dreamingly at the beach on the other side of the road.

”Right,” Gaga mumbled over her papers. ”Why don’t you do that.”

”Someone is gonna come over to have a look at the unit.”

”Good,” she said without enthusiasm. She didn’t look at him and suddenly his voice was right in front of her. ”What are you doing? Are those scripts?” he asked. ”Is that a Netflix logo?”

”No, what-” Gaga frowned, closed the binder and moved it out of his sight. As if she, personally, would bring important papers with her, but she didn’t want him looking into her things anyway.

”Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” he put his hands up and tilted his head to apologize. Shiny white teeth showed, and surely he was fooling a lot of women with that wide smile. His hair fell into his face when he looked down through her cleavage. The long v-neckline showed a lot of boob and a hint of her nipples as it slacked when she leaned forward. She felt sweat seep from underneath her tits and run down her belly.

Gaga laughed and blew air through her nose. ”Yeah, right.” She looked up at him. ”Says the man who kept a video of the most private thing ever.” Her big eyes looked like they were going to drop out of their sockets if they showed more white. Her jaw moved like she was grinding her teeth. He observed her neck muscles and her collarbones. She was so small, why was he so intimidated by her?

Joel looked confused at first, but then he understood what she meant. He nodded and scratched his stubble. ”Aha, it still eats you.” He changed his tone to a lighter one and pulled the neck of his t-shirt. It was tight against his fit chest. ”What are you working on?” She was really getting under his skin with her piercing eyes so he stared back at her, but avoided eye contact.

Gaga ignored the question at first and felt his eyes licking her entire body and especially her thighs as she sat with her legs folded underneath her. She clicked her tongue and made him look straight into her eyes. ”He’ll never choose anyone of us over his family. You’re an idiot for keeping ’it’.” She leaned back on the couch, felt Joel’s eyes zoom in on the pearls of sweat between her tits and liked the fact she had full control of him again. ”Besides, I helped you out. I got you a job on the set of AHS and had to endure you stalking my ass for 20 hours a day. I think I did my part. I owe you nothing.”

”Wait…?” Joel pointed at his chest and looked surprised. ”I-”

Gaga laughed briefly and the smile disappeared from her face so fast he wasn’t sure he even heard her laugh. ”I’m not stupid, but you are. If anyone reveals it, it will be you, and he will wonder why you had it and I will tell him exactly what happened.” Gaga’s hand rested on the binder and her eyes looked into his. She squinted and her eye color shifted from green to dark grey. Her lips pouted and she smiled again, but it looked like the grin of a predator that found an easy prey.

She suddenly stood up and intended to walk past Joel, who didn’t move. At least he had his size over her but it didn’t help at all. She made him feel very small that moment and he finally swallowed and whispered: ”Ask your man about Alanna.” He could smell her and as usual she smelled so good, sweet and expensive. And of sex and sweat. She was such a goddamn tease, revealing everything on purpose to make everyone want her.

Gaga felt a twitch in the corner of her eye and Joel must have noticed it. He smiled. ”Take it as a confirmation of trust.” He sensed his hair on his arms stand up.

”What the fuck are you after?” she snarled nasally. They stood like that, measuring each other when Taylor entered the room behind Joel.

”Stef?” he said and looked confused. His hair was wet and he was pulling a t-shirt over his head. Wrinkles on his forehead revealed he found the silence suspicious. Two people don’t stand and stare at each other like Gaga and Joel without a reason.

Gaga looked at Taylor and forced the corners of her mouth upward. ”Hey, baby,” she chirped. ”How was the beach?” She turned around and grabbed her Macbook and her papers while giving Joel a venomous stare. He observed her delicate hands with their blue veins huddle up her papers and items. Amazed at how much of a mess she was able to make within such a short time.

Slow and catty she walked up to Taylor and stood pressed against him while pouting her lips to receive a kiss. He squinted at her. The swimsuit she was wearing dug in between her butt cheeks and she knew they both gazed at her behind as she left the room.

A few seconds lated Taylor walked into their bedroom and slammed the door shut. A little too hard. Gaga’s voice was surprisingly calm. ”Hey, you didn’t answer my question. How was the beach?” she asked and searched around the room for both her charger and her phone, which somehow got lost in all her papers. When no one was around to keep track of her things she was lost. Leaning against a drawer he squinted at her.

Taylor approached her and made her turn and face him. He didn’t have any trouble with looking her in the eyes, but she was a master at lies and manipulation.

”You were all cheery this morning. What’s changed?” she asked.

While he held her gaze she stared back and searched for anything in his eyes regarding Joel’s mention of another woman in his life. Of course she understood exactly what Joel had meant and his intention was to drive a split between her and Taylor. She didn’t want to dance around at Joel’s command but she definitely didn’t share her partners. Even though her own borders regarding faithfulness seemed to float.

”So were you. So what is going on?” he smiled, but it never reached his eyes.

Here we go, she thought. I’m not gonna fold. The time between her leaving Joel and Taylor and his entrance was too short for Joel to have told him anything substantial and frankly, the moment Joel had mentioned another woman she felt like she didn’t care anymore. Why walk around on glass knowing Taylor’s best friend could ruin her life in two seconds when Taylor didn’t even care either, but instead found other girls to entertain him.

She admitted the revelation of another name had come as a complete surprise and it was so unexpected that someone could to to her what she had done to others. Of course she realized how stupid she had been. It made her angry, both at her self and him.

Her nose nearly poked his but he didn’t intend to kiss her even though she parted her lips as an invitation. She didn’t even blink and when her eyes looked dry and in need of some water he let go of her and pulled a deep breath.

”What was that with Joel?” he paused and thought of how all this time they spent apart he had always suspected she had side pieces, but it was something completely different to have it tossed in your face that someone had secrets. He didn’t know what to think except that she was clearly cheating on him, and had been on and off for a long time, but he didn’t know with who. It most definitely wasn’t Joel. But it could be anyone of her friends. ”Or wait, it isn’t about Joel. But someone… else?”

Gaga pulled her eyebrows together. What was he talking about? Where did this come from? Something truly was off about him. Her voice was cold. She decided to hit back. ”It takes one to know one, right.”

”What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I asked you a question regarding you and Joel caught in a death stare,” he didn’t even raise his voice, but the words were sharp and she felt his breath against her cheek as he rapidly moved up against her and grabbed her arm. A sweet, stale odor of alcohol hit her. Damn, his grip was a little too hard around her arm and she felt her heart starting to race in her chest. She told herself to stay calm. He overreacted and she was going to make sure he understood he was.

Gaga’s eyes shot darts of fire into his as she articulated the words very clear and directly at his face. ”Look!” Her wide opened eyes glowed in the dimly lit room. ”I don’t have any business with your friend apart from the fact I helped him with a job on the set of AHS. Out of kindness. I owe him nothing and if you think something else is going on I suggest you ask him yourself. On the other hand, he keeps insinuating things that makes me really uncomfortable so whether you like it or not I am not staying in this house.” Her voice came from deep inside her stomach and he nearly saw her throat expand to bring volume to her words.

It took some time for Gaga’s machine gun word-attack on Taylor to land and when it did his grip loosened and he took a step back. The normal reaction would be to ask what Joel was insinuating, but since he didn’t, Gaga took that as a confirmation Joel had told the truth about the woman. She sighed and her dark eyelids showed as her eyes were half shut. She looked exhausted.

Taylor sighed too and started mumbling. ”Listen, I know we spend more time apart than together, and I know sometimes people just gotta let off some steam and yeah, I have put up with the things you do because at the end of the day you and me have a vow to marry and just maybe once that happens you will change-”

”What?” Gaga couldn’t believe her ears. ”What is going on in your head? I do what? You have put up with what? And change into what?” Was he suddenly turning her into the bad person, to make up for his own secrets?

Taylor felt his brain suddenly opening a tap and couldn’t stop. All his fears and frustration poured out in a defensive mess. She was keeping something from him and he didn’t know what it was and it made him feel incomplete. Like he only got a part of her. The tiniest part.

”Then tell me! Who are you not screwing behind my back? Because it is fucking obvious! Is it random dudes? Do I need to get my dick checked for lord-knows-what-diseases? Is it that Ronson-dude? Because you seem really mesmerized by him. Or for what I know it could be that ridiculous guy I don’t even remember his name, T-something, or your slimy agent, or…!” He took a breath.

She closed her eyes felt her cheeks heat up.

For two seconds he looked confused when he noticed her reaction, then he found air again. ”I do know you fuck around, Stef! You have zero respect for our relationship! And lately you have been slipping away! And now I realize it because Joel seems like even he knows what’s going on! Jesus what the-”

Gaga put her hands up to stop his tirade. Finally she couldn’t hold back but raised her voice. ”What a fucking awesome guy you are that has to put up with me! No one is forcing you to stay! I am not the one cheating here!”

Taylor breathed fast. ”Unlike you, I feel a certain responsibility, babe.”

She looked like a cornered animal ready to fight back. She was lying. He knew it. The air was poisonous between them. The lies just made it more infected since they both thought the other one wasn’t honest. Fuck you, Joel, what secrets do you have with her and what have you told her, Taylor thought.

Gaga was furious. When he put his hands out to reach for her she swatted them away. ”Don’t babe me, you asshole.” Most of all she was angry because he blamed her for cheating when he wasn’t spotless himself, and admittedly had suspected it but acted like it didn’t matter to him. Instead the content fucker had just gone and found himself another girlfriend. Is that how important she was to him? So important he could stand letting her do whatever she was doing and not even be jealous if she cheated? Why didn’t he confront her before? He had shown her nothing but neglect. And now he ran away like some coward and found comfort in some other girl’s arms when she was difficult. And he had the audacity to pretend to be upset!

”So right, It’s pretty obvious you’re fucking someone when I’m away, wow. So who is it? That 50 year old sleaze ball or one of your hot co-stars on AHS? Stef, what the fuck is going on?” When Taylor saw her face he regretted every word he said the last minute but they fell out of his mouth and he wished he could suck them right back in. He was at a dead end. He didn’t have any proof but he was still confident and he felt like shit throwing his assumptions in her face. She looked hurt, and angry. Her neck muscles moved like she was swallowing hard to keep from crying. Her chin wrinkled up and her nostrils flared like she was about to hyperventilate.

Poor Mark, Gaga thought and hid her face in her palms. Nothing ever happened and she unfortunately couldn’t hide how she reacted by going red with anger at all the names being mentioned. Taylor’s accusations were unfair. The floor fluctuated under her feet. ”Mark is married, Taylor. And the others have partners. Wouldn’t it be kind of stupid?” She turned around and took a step towards the door because she felt the tears flooding up behind the eyelids and she didn’t want to cry now. And especially not in front of Taylor. Almost instantly she felt his hand grabbing her waist.

”Yeah, just turn your back on it. Having a partner didn’t stop you, did it!” He realized this had been brewing a long time in his head, like why she did it. Why stay with him if she was so thirsty for validation from other lovers? Why not just stay single and fuck whoever. He suddenly felt like an idiot. He knew why. She couldn’t be single. Being alone was her greatest fear and he decided to use it against her. ”Why do I even care anymore? Just go! Run away - to whoever. IF they want you.” He waved his hand like he wanted to swat her out of the room. ”What am I saying, of course they all want you - your money - and your influence!”

Gaga quickly turned around, her vision was blurry with tears and she whispered directly at his face. ”Having a partner never stopped you either. Now listen carefully. Tomorrow, we’re gonna go to the Indy 500 and everything is going to be as usual. You’re gonna put your arm around me, grab my ass or whatever. We’re gonna pose for those candids and after that I promise you won’t have to ”put up” with me anymore.” Her voice sounded more steady than she thought it would. ”And you’re obsessed with jealousy over something you know nothing about.”

”You know what, I think you decided we’re over as soon as you started working with Mark in the studio.” He had never been more conflicted in his entire life. Right now he wanted her more than ever but he also wanted to drop her so hard she hurt more than he did. Peeling that damn leotard off her to destroy her vagina was an option as well. Her cold hearted efforts made him hard. She could deny her cheating habits all she wanted. Every lie she told pulsated into his growing dick.

She was so fucking impressed with this Mark and he had been so jealous, so damn jealous thinking he fucked her. And now, lust and hate bubbled inside his belly at the thought of her willingly spreading her soft thighs for someone else  and allowing that person to enter her made his thoughts explode with white hate and rage. He wondered what she told him, if she whispered things into his ear as she rode his dick in that big bed of hers in Malibu with the white crisp sheets. And if she made him breakfast and they had sex afterwards by the pool and… he needed to stop.

Gaga saw the anger in his eyes and took another step towards the door and he reached for her shoulder. She tumbled backwards and fell into his arms. He was on top of her before she realized what had happened. When she saw his face she slapped his cheek hard. The sharp pain made him cringe and as she prepared to hit him again with her other hand his fingers quickly closed around her wrist. He glanced at her closed fist and noticed she had the diamond of the ring inside of her palm. If she had managed to slap him with that it no doubt would’ve caused an open wound.

”You bitch,” he whispered and let go of her. ”You’re not worth it.”

”I am. You’re just too damn stupid and lazy to see it. I wasted five fucking years on you.” She pulled him down when he tried to get up. ”Five years. I’ve made you come back several times before and I can do it again.”

”Is that what you want? Constantly chasing after someone?” His eyes stared into hers. ”You think you make everyone want you, but you chase after people and run them down until they give in and then you kick them to the gutter. I came back that time in Australia because I wanted you. I thought it would be different. But you did the same thing again. I’m nothing to you.”

”You came into my life when I was trash. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and you were there and I just needed someone.” Her hands pulled his hair and their lips met. She opened her mouth and let his tongue slide along hers. His tongue stroke against her teeth and he felt her hot breath hit his face when she exhaled loudly. She felt her groins tingle as she raised her legs and wrapped them around his waist. ”I wanted you to be that someone.”

Taylor sighed against her neck. ”I knew nothing of you then!”

”No of course not. You never cared.” She felt his hard dick press against her groin.

”You were there, I felt something!”

”Tay, when did everything turn this ugly? I hate what we’ve become. It’s all dark.” Her voice were soft against his ear and then she started whimpering ”I’m sorry, babe, I’m sorry,” while he kissed her soft lips. ”I’m sorry I am such a disappointment.” She just wanted to be loved so bad. ”I wanted to be the main priority in your life.”

Taylor pulled the straps down and her tits fell out. Greedily and hard he sucked and licked her nipples and squeezed them until she groaned with pain. Her warm fingertips stroke across the skin on his shoulders and his back. Her touch turned him on so bad. ”I want you,” she whispered. ”I always wanted you first, but you never wanted me. Why am I so difficult to love? I gave you everything.”

”You’re not a disappointment. You are magnificent,” he mumbled. ”You are everything. I fucked it all up.”

These goddamn tits, he thought as they disappeared underneath his hands. Their soft skin, roundness and rubbery nipples. The thought of someone else touching her and making her moan with pleasure drove him insane with jealousy. He let his hands slide down her belly and pulled the swimsuit down, past her hips and legs and tossed it away. Her clammy thighs smacked together when he lifted her up and placed her in the middle of the bed.

Taylor forced her to turn around and ran his fingers along her crack. She was wet and ready and wiggled her hips in anticipation. Her ass cheeks received several hard gropes and turned red. She bit her lip. He pulled her up on her knees and buried his face against her soaked pussy from behind. He could sense her juices flow onto his tongue as he licked her and smoothened her every fold down south. His fingers rubbed her clit and slipped inside her hole so easily. She thrust her ass at his face for more.

She turned around and parted her thighs for him. Her face looked more tortured than aroused. Her dark brows pulled together, lips curled and eyes closed or briefly looking at him with glittering green desire and lust. ”I fucking hate you all. You’re all the same. Lying bastards. Every damn one of you. I swear to God.” Her breaths were fast and shallow. ”No matter what I do, how I try, I really try…”

He pulled his shorts down and pulled her up against his hips. He was so damn turned on his balls ached and he felt like he was going to cramp as he sat on his knees on the bed. He wished she would stop talking. She was switching between hating him and forgiving him so fast he couldn’t keep up.

With his arm wrapped around her waist he guided his cock along her wet slit and pushed inside her. Yesterday felt good, but today it felt fucking amazing. He grunted and let out a stream of words to describe her loveliness and how he hated her, in turns. He was convinced she was thinking of someone else and it made him even harder and rougher and his thoughts made no sense.

Gaga was so turned on that when Taylor finally pushed inside her she felt like a massive load of anxiety and worries just ran off her. Her body became limp and heavy, like after an orgasm and she wasn’t even there yet. His steady pace, the hard thrusts, deep inside her. Her pussy sent bursts of pleasure up through her belly and the feeling became more intense. She bit her lip and thought of how amazingly good it felt and why would she only be able to feel this good on these few occasions. She was 30, at her sexual peak and she was robbed of these moments by all their time apart.

The sound of his pulsating cock ramming in and out of her made him forget to breathe. Every drop of blood in his body must have been inside his dick this moment. He fucked her as hard as he could, slipped out and rammed his dick hard into her groin, ignored the pain and pushed inside her again, fucked her harder than ever and she still kept asking for more and harder.

He held her down, thrust so hard and deep inside her any deeper he would be tickling her spine. She pulled her legs up, bucked her hips and the muscles inside her vagina tightened around his dick. She nearly screamed because it felt so fucking amazing. ”Faster!” she grunted. His crotch hit hers with fleshy sounds. It was his turn to hold on to the headboard to be able to shove his cock with more force inside her.

It wasn’t enough. He forced her around and pulled her halfway off the bed, then he entered her again with even harder thrusts while her face was pushed down into the sheets. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, watched her muscles tense as she struggled to balance herself. Her shoulders were pulled up, veins pulsating on her neck. She clung to the sheets and gasped for air.

“Fuck,” Gaga mumbled between the thrusts. He pulled her sweaty hair and watched the muscles on her back ripple as she writhed beneath him. His hands groped her tits, so hard she moaned at the pain and felt like he was crushing her. The hard nipples rubbed against the sheets when he let go and pushed her down harder. “Don’t stop!” she moaned. ”Don’t stop!”

The bed rammed against the wall again, Taylor’s calves were numb. Gaga was turned half way around and nearly bouncing off the bed having her pussy fucked to pieces by Taylor. He never thought being mad at her would make their sex even better. He wanted to hurt her. Like he felt hurt by her.

Gaga felt Taylor grow inside her. Harder thrusts, the sounds of their bodies slamming into each other and the wet fuck-sounds. She lowered her hips and felt his balls ram against her sensitive clit, her body tensed and while he carried on with rhythmic perfection to slide in and out of her, she finally let go and exhaled into the pillow while the orgasm exploded throughout her lower body.

”…your cunt,” he mumbled to her face as he leaned down, exhaled and nearly spat in her face from the explosion his balls created inside her. “…is amazing!”

“Oh god,” she panted with her short nails clawing the pillows and sheets.

Taylor pulled out, and sank down on the bed beside her. He didn’t really know what to say. It sounded like she wanted to call it all off and he didn’t know what to say to make it OK. It wasn’t just the heat of the moment. She wanted a reason to let him go. Now he felt used. Did he love her, or what she was? He figured she somehow heard about Alanna. But nothing had happened between them. She was into him, but he had stayed faithful to Gaga all along. He thought of how he probably sensed she was slipping away from him or he wouldn’t have lead Alanna on and kept contact. Like a backup. Damn, he was so ashamed of himself.

Gaga turned around and wrapped the blanket around her. She lit a cigarette and stepped out of the room. She took a long drag and stared into the dimly lit room. Her lips were swollen and red, her cheeks blushing and her eyeliner was smudged. She knew she looked sensational post-sex and she wanted everyone to suffer seeing her like this, but no one saw her.

Gaga went into the bathroom to have a cold shower. Her vagina felt like it had been ripped out of her body and wrapped around a pole and she loved how her groins hurt like they’ve been stretched to the max.

She didn’t like herself when she was around Taylor anymore. She thought she had become bitter, jealous and angry. It was harder and harder to keep up the appearance of a perfect relationship. Did she even know him? He didn’t even fight for her. She sighed and closed the door behind her. There was no air in the bathroom so she put out the cigarette and pulled the shower curtains aside. Someone had left clots of hair over the drain and a shampoo bottle on the floor. Disgusting, she muttered.

She felt so out of place. Recalling bars smelling of piss and spilled beer, unidentified greasy substances left in corners that only the imagination put a stop to what it could be. When did she stopped being used to that? Or wait, she had never been used to that. It was just an image. She was reluctant to even stand naked in that shower because she didn’t think she would feel clean afterwards.

Every time she met with Taylor her intention was to take their relationship further, but it didn’t go forward, or in any direction because they were stuck. And Taylor seemed so content with the way things were. The cold water made the air breathable so she pulled a few deep breaths. Realizing their engagement was over at the same second as her lungs expanded and she stepped into the water, like needle pricks across her skin. She felt like the guest who overstayed her welcome - or a trespasser even.

…

The towel looked like it was the size of a small continent compared to Gaga as she wrapped it around her and stepped back into the room she shared with Taylor.

“It’s not working, Tay.”

Taylor looked into her eyes. In a very different way than usual. As if he finally saw her. Everything she was hit him like an avalanche. Her fame and her position in the world, her power and her talent. All that was at stake and he was losing it. He squinted his eyes in what looked like an attempt to squeeze out tears. She wasn’t going to come back.

“Oh, knock it off already. You’re a shit actor.” Gaga tossed her used underwear and the soaked bathing suit above the rest of the clothes. He really didn’t get it. She took a deep breath but felt the darkness inside her suck all air out instantly. Because maybe he actually did get it.

”You will never manage to call yourself single!” he said.

”I guess we’ll see about that, shall we?” Gaga said nasally. She was proud of herself she didn’t throw Alanna in his face. He had cheated and fooled her and now that she threw him out he was on his knees begging her to come back. It made her feel good. The thought of whatever Joel’s intentions were he had both succeeded and failed. The gap between them had never been wider. Misunderstandings and distance and trust had been digging for too long and now she and Taylor both stood on separate sides of the chasm barely able to communicate.

Taylor looked shocked and hurt at the same time. She shook her head and pulled her wet hair back. He observed her. The corners of her mouth weren’t tilted up as usual, she looked pissed off. Her lips pouted and she avoided eye contact. He could see her eyes looking red and she looked like she was about to cry but still had that hard look on her face. Damn, she was beautiful and he was fucking idiot. What was he thinking taking her for granted? That she would always come running back to him? Who did he think he was?

”And we’re eating out tonight. I don’t want to stay a minute longer than I have to in this house.“

\o/

Taylor had been up all night drinking. When Ashley went to get him he still hadn’t slept in his bed and Gaga had told Jessica to clear out the apartment in Chicago. The frosty air between the couple in the car on the way to the airport was almost too much. She could tell they both wanted to be as far away from each other as possible.

”Now prove me wrong and show me what a great actor you are,” Gaga whispered as they stepped out of the car and glued a big smile on her face. He reeked of alcohol and was most likely still drunk so maybe he would look naturally clingy she thought. During the night he had become devastated as it dawned on him that she was giving up on him and he fumbled after her hand. She let him hold it and felt his hands around her waist and hip as they walked. That was the most he had touched her in public in forever.

It was easier to enjoy the day than she thought it would be. The air was thick with the smell of burnt rubber and gas fumes. Sure her thoughts wandered occasionally and when Taylor stood next to her while they watched the race, letting his hand rest on her lower back and butt she felt kind of pleased. She saw the camera in the corner of her eye and turned so the photos would come out great. She thought of all the times they had been doing this for the cameras. The display.

So many people wanted to see her and talk to her, she started to feel anxious and couldn’t wait to leave. There was still a dinner party taking place during the evening and she had to prepare. The ring felt like it weighed a ton. A million broken promises, a failure and a lie. She had tried. Or had she? Was she ever serious about it or was it just another attempt at fitting in?

She instructed Sarah she wanted to look breathtaking for the night and her wish was granted. Heads turned as she entered the location of the after party and she thought of how easily she could pick anyone and have them crawling through broken glass with their pants down for her. Her hair was slicked back and the pony tail looked like silk as it fell down her back. Her make up was subtle, dark brows and blusher on the cheeks. Her lips swollen and wet, a smile lurking in the corner of her mouth. She could have been naked or wearing a potato sack and it wouldn’t matter because they all looked at her face - and then at Taylor with envy.

”I think we are totally even now,” she smiled, leaned towards Joel on her other side and whispered in his ear. Taylor stared at them and his face turned red. None of the men or women present could take their eyes off her. Her little black dress with tiny shoulder straps revealed her every female curve and her soft tits were barely covered by the plunging neckline and served as a magnet. She felt more beautiful than ever and radiated with new found self esteem.

She flirted with them all because she regarded herself as single and didn’t even feel bad. She sat in their laps, posed for photos and smiled. The calm before the storm, she thought. Glancing at Taylor over her shoulder. Her lips were glossy and pink, her cheekbones so sharp you’d cut yourself. Her chin was raised and her eyes glittered as she looked directly into his eyes. She was astonishing and he nearly choked up.

She was the strongest woman he ever met, but also fragile and depending on so much love. It was like something had happened and she had a confidence he never noticed about her before. ”I slept on her, I really did. And now it’s too late,” he thought. ”I lost her.” He didn’t even care about Joel or Mark or anyone else. What difference did it make now.

Because Gaga now felt like she could choose any partner for the night, she chose the one who didn’t choose her in the end. She took Taylor’s hand as they left the party and he walked in her footsteps like a child. In the elevator she put one hand on each of his shoulders and pulled him close. Her wet, soft lips met his and he went all mushy in her arms. She sucked his lower lip and he felt her teeth against his as she greedily opened her mouth. Butterflies fluttered in his belly like it was the first time and guilt shot up like a balloon full of jelly through his throat and he swallowed. He didn’t deserve her.

When she was lying naked on the bed that night, with him between her thighs, holding his face, he was so nervous nearly couldn’t get hard. Her skin was so soft, her body so perfect and as she undressed he had watched her and thought of how he never actually saw her, until now. This woman, with needs and desires and dreams. Had he even fulfilled a single one for her? He totally understood why she had to move on.

She was sober now, it was unusual too. She was always more beautiful when she was that. Her eyes slightly opened as he kissed her neck and her chin. He smelled her and rested his hands on her tits, caressed them and circled a nipple with his thumb. It was hard and wet from his kisses. Her chest heaved as she breathed slowly. Warm hands on his shoulders, pushing him down. He could smell her sex as she parted her legs and he wrapped his arms around her thighs. She was so thin now but still soft. Her belly concave and the muscles moved underneath her skin.

He kissed her belly button and continued down, lapped her pussy and felt the tiny hairs starting to grow out tickle his sensitive lips. They were barely noticeable. Her taste on his tongue, sweet and salty. The soft creases unfolding as he licked her. Her juices dripping into his mouth, her moans. Why couldn’t she just kill him right away. Just strangle him with her thighs wrapped around his head.

Gaga rubbed her crotch against his stubble, felt his tongue send bursts of pleasure down her thighs and up her belly. She twisted in his grip as his tongue flicked against the smooth area between her holes. She was so turned on and felt a waterfall of lubricant pussy juice flow as her body prepared for penetration. She thought she was going to pee herself when he pushed his fingers inside her and his lips sucked her clit so hard she felt her thighs tremble.

The dim light in the room made her skin look like a sunset. Warm, peach colored and beautiful. The shadows accentuating her curves, her muscles and woman parts. Her tits looked huge as she raised her back with pleasure and the nipples drove him insane with desire. The soft flesh jiggled temptingly as she turned around and pulled her legs up. He grabbed her fit, round ass cheeks and let his greedy fingers dig into them. His thumbs parted her labia and he let his tongue wander along her crack and up her slit.

Gaga held the bedpost with both hands and lowered her back. Taylor’s thumb slipped inside her and he rubbed her clit with two fingers. His fingers were wet with her juices and he sucked his them dry to taste her. Then her turned her around again and observed her. She sucked her cheeks and pouted her lips at him. Her eyeliner was a little smudged and it made her hazel eyes glow. He held her hips and ran his hands along her waist up toward her ribs.

”You’re beautiful,” he whispered so quietly he wasn’t sure she heard it. She did. She swallowed and felt a hard knot in her throat. If he says he loves me I’m leaving this bed this second, she thought and felt her body tense. He felt her hesitation as well and decided to stay quiet. It was fucked up as it was and he realized he would fuck it up even more by saying things she didn’t believe anymore.

His hands caressed her waist and hips. She closed her eyes and thought of everyone else she had ever been with. They were all the same. Their warm hands on her belly. Their tongues circling her belly button and placing her on their lap before pulling her up and slowly lowering her down over a hard dick. Her arms around their necks, sliding along their shoulders. Holding them tighter as she bounced faster on their cock. The slamming sound of their thighs as they sped up, her moans as she tilted her head back and let out the air from her lungs. Their hands on her hips and her ass. Harder and faster, deeper and wetter. What did she want? What was she chasing after?

”Oh fucking hell,” she grunted as Taylor’s dick grew inside her. It rubbed against her insides and made her vagina contract. ”Nhn-” she bit her lip as Taylor made a series of hard thrusts against her and she’s pushed over the edge. The orgasm rippled through her thighs and up her belly. He put her down and slipped out of her. His dick was already soft and his eyes shut. He took a deep breath and looked at her. Her body shimmered, and he could smell her. The sweet smell of sex and really expensive perfume.

”Good luck with whatever man you choose,” he said eventually and picked up his clothes from the floor and left the room. As he closed the door he saw her pull the engagement ring off her finger and cover her eyes. Her shoulders were pulled up as she sat up and he could see she was crying. It broke his heart, but he felt like a coward that chose to retreat. In the end she wouldn’t choose him anyway.

End.

#Lady Gaga #fanfic #fanfiction #Taylor Kinney #TayGa #TayGa fanfictioin

[pivot2thrive]

Dead to Christianity, Alive through Christ

The western church in Europe and America is dying, just look at the numbers.

And for that, I am truly grateful. Good riddance...at least to that brand of faith.

You see, the church that I got older in (I don’t say grew up because I don’t believe that there was much related to growing up in that faith tradition) influenced me (and my family and friends) to believe that while I didn’t deserve it, God loved me anyway (what kind of a parent would tell a child that they do not deserve the parent's love?). All I had to do was accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, then I’d be saved and I’d get to go to heaven. Of course, I’d have to read my Bible so I could better understand what I’m supposed to do now that I’m a servant. The Bible was the only thing reliable about understanding God since people were imperfect (that is until you actually read it and realize just how horrible it can be and that the criticisms of Christianity’s critics can be quite valid). Further, with Christ as Lord, I learned that I needed to save other people and that I was to live in a community with other fellow believers. Essentially, I learned that others were more important than me. I needed to carry my cross so others could be saved. On top of this I learned that emotions were fleeting and dangerous and not to be trusted so I was to use my left brain to consider God’s word and make emotion abated choices, so I learned to kill those pesky little buggers.

Oh yeah, and I was kicked out of the youth group for having sex with my girlfriend at 16 noting no one came to my side throughout to ask me how I was doing. Being ostracized is no pleasant experience.

For anyone with a background in human development, one can see the underpinnings of trauma, codependency, attachment issues, over emphasized left brain development, and issues with perceptions of less-than and greater-than in relational dynamics. Candidly, the framework outlined in my family template and in my faith template set the course for issues with maladaptive coping mechanisms, the first of which I believe was a process addiction to this religious way of looking at life and was later manifest in forms of relationship addiction.

Over the years I’ve come to find just how highly unrelational this brand of faith is and was. I was inculcated into an environment of sin management and performance-based acceptance. Only if I carried my cross and didn’t act outside of the boundaries would I fit in…a tough task for any adolescent or teenager. In fact, any reference to having a relationship with God was only partially understood because my upbringing did not provide me with the tools to engage the relationship outside a pharisaical, left brain, performance modality. Sounds like work not a relationship.

Psychology, neuroscience, sociology and their converging viewpoints have made me aware of various unintended (sometimes intended) consequences of me interacting within the circles I did growing up. And with these I’ve been able to piece through the traumas of my past, develop a coherent narrative of the goods and bads, and have been able begin to integrate the various parts of my self to transform the way I think and feel, in ways that are more beneficial to me and others.

Now, as I look back at the faith environment of my youth, I am saddened by just how damaging it was. As I now have children, it will be a cold day in hell before I allow them to be damaged by these kinds of belief systems (and the people committed to carrying them out).

It looks nothing like the relational core of the message of Christ nor of the great commandment of the Judeo-Christian tradition to love God and to love one’s neighbor as oneself. The message I got growing up was that others were better than me and I had to perform in order to get favor (from God, parents, etc.). And because my neurological templates were formed in the way that they were, even if I heard a more relational message, I could not internalize it. There simply was no experiential context for that.

As I look through the overarching narrative of the Christ story, I’ve come to see Jesus as the great catalyst that started a movement toward fully integrated well being (a precursor to the revolution of our efforts in science). The arc of the story is one of disconnect, grace, forgiveness and reconciliation (with God, self and others). It does not go unnoticed that God is represented in multiple persons connoting the relational nature of God. In Christ’s death and resurrection we see the elements to help each of us re-narrate our ways of thinking and feeling that lead us to toxic levels of shame, guilt and fear. God covers all three in the death and resurrection of Christ.

But, more importantly, I’ve come to see a view of a loving God that cares about the growth and development of his kids. It is in good and healthy relationships that we humans thrive. It is in isolation and unhealthy relationships that we learn the habits that tear us apart. We are not “totally depraved” sinners that are abhorrent but rather we are children learning through our trials and errors on how to grow up into joyful, peaceful, loving humans. For all of us, our “sins” are evidenced in haywire neural programming but for some of us, these haywire circuits result in much more pronounced problems. Like a good and loving parent, God provides the grace, encouragement and challenge to help us breakthrough our neural programming gone awry. In Christ, God gives me the message that I’m worth it, that my past mistakes do not define me and that I do not need to fear my future as all will be made well. If Christ’s followers embody these principles, the ongoing reprogramming efforts take a monumental leap forward, after all, our minds are programmed to connect with people in relationships much more effectively than with some book, no matter how much wisdom it imparts.

What is grace?

It is the invitation to have a meal with someone who has been able to navigate their life with similar pains and sufferings, has come out the other side, wants to show you how you can do it too and is patient with you as you stumble through trying to get there. It is the gift of intent and freedom to learn a new way to live.

To the chagrin of many institutional churches, grace abounds…just not in their doors. Some of these churches do the feed the poor part really well but miss the relational component (many Christians do the same thing). Others simply haven’t broken through to the other side and so they focus on what they can…and this usually manifests itself in the rules, dogmas and beliefs to enhance sin management.

What is grace? It’s messy. If churches truly got grace, they’d be a lot messier, a lot more authentic, and would use the tools of Christ to invite others to clean up the inside of their cups. What does messy look like? Try attending an addiction support group.

#southern baptist #Christ #christianity #grace #addiction #church #transformation #spiritual abuse

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: She told you yet?

Jesse: Yeah

Jac: Today?

Jesse: just now near enough

Jac: Same

Jac: nice to know she’s not taking it on tour, I suppose

Jac: probably cc’d us all in with the same template text

Jesse: probably

Jac: So

Jac: you have nothing to say on this then?

Jesse: I’ve said it to her

Jac: Right so I’m just excluded from the conversation or

Jesse: you don’t need telling what a bad idea it is, everything she reckons she’s gonna do

Jac: Someone needs to tell her who she’ll actually listen to then

Jac: You could ask nan to

Jesse: Alright

Jac: Do you think she already has?

Jac: I’m sure she told nan ages ago

Jesse: sounds like her, she always has told nan everything first

Jac: I’m surprised she told us on the same day

Jac: it was one of the things she threw in my face before

Jac: guess your response was never going to be enthused enough though

Jesse: said she told you before me, must’ve reckoned she could come to me off the back of it and I’d hear she was upset and go easy or something

Jesse: give her my blessing

Jac: with her precedent atm

Jac: one of her less stupid plans

Jac: she really did expect baby showers and push presents huh

Jesse: she can’t be far off that at home, dunno what the fuck our parents are playing at

Jac: I don’t know where to start with them

Jac: as much as she’d LOVE me to start on the whole family so I can be the villain of her tale

Jac: Was this not the hill mum was living and dying on? See nan, Edie, Rio

Jac: She couldn’t say much about Bobby but come on

Jesse: right, it’s such bollocks

Jesse: one rule for Jude as per, but it’s going a bit far this time

Jac: They’ll be the ones paying for it, in literally every way

Jac: They haven’t even stopped looking after Cammie yet

Jac: no offence to her but it’s true

Jesse: Cammie’d be the last one to take offense, she knows it’s true an’ all

Jesse: do those two even know yet or what?

Jac: I’ll ask Cam later

Jac: I assume so, it’s not like she is capable of keeping quiet ever

Jac: we only don’t know because we aren’t there, I’m sure

Jesse: Jude talks at me loads, she could’ve fucking said

Jac: Probs worried you wouldn’t give her VIP or some other tragic cliche

Jesse: When you coming home?

Jac: I seriously don’t know now

Jac: I will flip out on them if I come back any time soon

Jac: but you were going to be home for your birthday, right? I’ll do that but I just

Jac: yeah

Jesse: I dunno where to put myself or how to calm down either

Jesse: I was but there’s nowt to celebrate now, is there? It’s a pisstake to even bother

Jac: I know

Jac: I’m trying to accept the fact she won’t change her mind because I know she’s that stupid and will double down

Jac: but what does that mean for the rest of us

Jac: she said she’d leave when I came back, like she was doing me a favour

Jac: oh let’s keep that up forever then, cheers Jude, top idea

Jesse: Probably already had the idea to move herself into nan’s is why

Jesse: fuck’s sake, everything was starting to go good for all of us

Jac: Oh God, you just know she wants nan to raise it ‘with’ her

Jac: it’d be a fucking joke if it wasn’t our family

Jac: it’s no wonder everyone chats shit, never blamed them, not going to start on her behalf

Jac: Well, I won’t blame you if you don’t come back for your bday either, probably a million more fun things you could do

Jesse: don’t mind me trying to get recognised for the songs I’ve been working on for fucking ages instead of how weird my family are

Jac: If Sav wasn’t here and would find it super weird of me, I’d definitely pretend none of you existed and my family was as non-eventful as everyone else’s

Jac: It is so refreshing to be here and have no one relating any stories they’ve heard to my name/face

Jesse: I’m buzzing for you, no sarcasm

Jac: You’ll have to cross your fingers for going stateside and never coming back, clearly

Jesse: 🤞

Jac: She really thinks she can monopolize the fam now though

Jac: no attention or room for us now, soz

Jesse: I’ll 🤞 the other two still get a bit of a look in but

Jac: I’m sure if they don’t indulge her they’ll be made to feel as awkward

Jac: only place she won’t see a screaming kid is at her mums, guess you’re gonna help solidify that one relationship, Jude 👏

Jac: fuck’s sake

Jesse: forget going home, here’s where I’ll be and when if you want me

Jesse: [a list of gigs and stuff like]

Jesse: they’re old enough now to come to the nearby towns if they need out of it

Jac: you needn’t think I’m going to pay to see you

Jac: someone has to make sure you don’t get an ego 😏

Jac: you should do Sligo, I’m going there first and I know Sav would love a reason to be out of her dad’s

Jesse: alright, I’ll set something up

Jesse: sort out some country songs for the locals, like

Jac: isn’t that your whole thing already? 🤔

Jac: either way, sure she’ll find something polite to say now you’re in-laws, like

Jesse: be worth more than the cover charges for both of you to hear her have a go, priceless that

Jac: I’ve heard her on the phone to her dad enough to know she can sell faked enthusiasm and kindness, trust me 😅

Jesse: she’ll need it if she runs into her ex 🤞 he ain’t a fan, there are a weird amount of rich lads who listen to me

Jac: rich fans are good fans, surely

Jac: don’t be all bob dylan about it

Jac: speaking of exes, did you ask Jude about hers?

Jac: I had more pressing shit I had to say

Jesse: Yeah, I don’t reckon anyone else knows that bit

Jesse: she couldn’t get her words out on the phone, barely understood her on the first go

Jac: Did she call you or did you call her?

Jesse: I don’t call anybody

Jac: Typical her! 🙄

Jac: Did that for affect because she text me first

Jac: The dramatics

Jesse: never heard her like that, but it turns out I was right to be worried on this one, not like when she [insert some chaotic past event that wasn’t as dramatic as he thought it was going to be lol]

Jac: well she should be upset on this one too

Jac: I would be if I was ruining my life

Jac: like take the hint, if everyone is reacting poorly, it’s probably a bad idea

Jesse: Yeah

Jesse: do you wanna hear about him? It’ll piss you off, it really did me

Jac: Obviously, I was going to ask him myself but then I remembered he didn’t ‘do’ socials, or something else pretentious that obviously made her 😍 like a total braindead

Jesse: He’s got a girlfriend at his school he’s had the whole time he were seeing Jude, that’ll be why he don’t

Jac: That’s so obvious when you think about it

Jac: Wow, and she’s really gonna do this to confirm how dumb she is? Ouch

Jac: I just thought he was lame like all the boys she’s ever liked

Jesse: an even bigger twat 🏆

Jac: Her life is literally not going to be worth living when everyone finds out

Jac: Sure loads of them already knew about him beforehand

Jac: who doesn’t have social media, come on

Jac: and he wants nothing to do with her or it, she can have the 🏆

Jac: I don’t even fucking know

Jac: I know she doesn’t know what she wants from life

Jac: but going all in with a kid isn’t the move regardless, but especially not just because she’s a mess and fuck it

Jac: I’d hope the parents would be being a bit more proactive but I don’t know why they aren’t anyway

Jesse: Her and him were on about going to the same uni, she said, he’s obviously promised her all sorts he weren’t gonna bother doing

Jac: Give me strength

Jac: and she falls for that?

Jac: from a lad who doesn’t let her take pictures of him

Jac: in case his actual girlfriend sees

Jac: If anything this should be a sign to sort your life, not fuck it up

Jesse: I should’ve been about more, I didn’t know she needed this much watching, that she was so

Jac: Naive would be the politest word

Jac: She’s a child, I’ve said it a thousand times before and it isn’t just an insult

Jac: she’s literally, factually, immature

Jesse: I’m a lad, I don’t get it and can’t say it far as everyone reckons, but this is such a bad idea

Jac: You can say it

Jac: Abortion doesn’t just exist for evil, heartless whores

Jac: At least someone will look after it for her, as much as it’d be a decent lesson, not actually going to let the thing and her die in a ditch, like

Jesse: Broke my rule and called her back just and she ain’t answering

Jesse: immature is right

Jac: If you’re worried, call the parents

Jesse: I don’t wanna talk to either of them

Jac: yeah well I don’t wanna be a fucking auntie

Jac: if you ever get someone pregnant, don’t claim it

Jac: gross

Jesse: have that chat with Cammie and Jameson, way things are going

Jac: Cam actually listens to me and Jame listens to her

Jac: I’m not concerned

Jesse: You can leave it out with your concern for me, I don’t have time to drink a ☕️ you saw how booked up I am

Jac: Good

Jac: it’s not like how it used to be

Jac: one wrong move and your career is over

Jac: fucking groupies is definitely a hangable offence, it’s not the 70s

Jesse: Tah for that

Jac: Just saying

Jac: what would you do then, Mr Too-Good-For-A-Formal-Education? 😏

Jac: Your poor life choices do pale in comparison now though, better thank her later

Jesse: 👍

Jesse: if she ever answers I’ll crack out a bit of 👏 and she’ll love it

Jesse: [deets for whatever cool Sligo thing he’s already organising] this work for you?

Jac: It should do

Jac: What else is going to be there to do, really

Jac: and I don’t think the welcome wagon will be rolling out for me

Jesse: I can chuck on a couple of down days after if you want, hang about, know Sav’s my biggest fan

Jac: Just because she doesn’t think you’re some kind of musical genius

Jac: you never even talked to her before, probably, it’s a fair shout

Jac: you’ll have to now, like

Jesse: I probably couldn’t get a word in when I tried, more like

Jac: ‘Cos you’re SUCH a talker

Jac: you’re my brother and it’s like getting blood from a stone

Jesse: You're one to talk, dickhead

Jac: Oh sure, use that against me 😏

Jac: just saying, be nice, yeah?

Jesse: I've never not been to any of your mates, you're thinking of Jude

Jac: She’s not just my mate though

Jesse: and I ain’t gonna just be a prick to her out the blue

Jac: Thanks

Jac: You aren’t going to be her least favourite now, that’s for sure

Jesse: her sister’s mates with Jude, yeah? Wonder if she’ll still be after this

Jac: She’s going travelling and then Uni

Jac: I doubt she’ll have time for her teen mum antics, she might keep some mates in her own year, again, until they go away and start their lives

Jac: She’s resigned herself to getting left behind

Jac: with all the other people who won’t get out

Jesse: Sav’s dad’s letting her go travelling? He’s changed

Jac: She’s the youngest

Jac: she gets away with all the things he wishes Sav still couldn’t

Jesse: how’s her mum?

Jac: She still calls a lot

Jac: She needs to find more support so she doesn’t rely on Sav as much

Jac: but better

Jesse: I get why Sav wouldn’t wanna not answer, in case

Jac: Yeah, of course

Jac: but she can’t keep doing it forever

Jac: nor with her father

Jesse: must be a knackering headfuck for her

Jac: Mhmm, I feel really bad for putting all this on her

Jesse: What’s her fave song, I’ll avoid butchering it for her at the show?

Jac: [I’m sure you have a list I do not lmao]

Jesse: [that’s such a good point though like what the fuck would she even listen to when it’s not her ambient study playlist lol]

Jesse: 👌

Jac: Have you done the maths on the kid though

Jesse: sounds like you have

Jesse: go on

Jac: Near Christmas

Jac: Couldn’t be worse timing

Jesse: Fuck

Jesse: do I need to break my rule and call you now an’ all?

Jac: I’m alright now

Jac: Sav really looked after me

Jesse: alright, I’ll be nice to her

Jac: Thank you

Jac: She isn’t how you remember her, we’re all older now

Jesse: everyone except Jude

Jac: as per

Jac: I’m not going to help her play dollies, I’ll tell you that

Jac: I’ve got a whole summer planned

Jesse: same

Jac: Guess I’ll see you in Sligo then

Jac: If her dad doesn’t off me

Jesse: never get his own hands dirty

Jac: Encouraging, Jess

Jesse: if she ain’t told him about you by now she’s not gonna let it slip at the dinner table, just don’t get caught

Jac: It’s not just that

Jac: He still hates me from the Is stuff, I’m sure of it

Jesse: It weren’t your fault what happened to Is

Jac: Yeah but that’s literally the main reason/excuse he had for taking Savannah away, so if anyone isn’t over it and ready to play the blame game

Jesse: Then he should be thanking you for the chance to take over her life if anything

Jac: I won’t hold my breath on that score

Jac: I’m just nervous

Jesse: I get it, but Sav’s not gonna let him be a dick to you

Jac: I already know I don’t like him, she doesn’t

Jac: but I need to be civil, I’m not going to make anything harder for her, not the point

Jac: but 😒

Jesse: you’ve had massive amounts of practice at keeping your mouth shut and looking after her

Jesse: 🏆

Jac: At least I let off some steam with Jude

Jac: The tiniest silver-lining ever but hey

Jac: and it did mean I told Sav about my baby, because yeah, that had never come up

Jesse: It went alright? You said she’d looked after you

Jac: As well as it could

Jac: I should’ve trusted her more

Jesse: easy to say, even for us 🤐 dickheads

Jac: She’s never given me reason not to

Jac: and she’s proved herself even more than she already had before

Jac: I guess I’ll get better at it

Jesse: sounds like you already are

Jac: I hope so

Jac: some of us are still going for aspirational, like

Jesse: no need to 🤞 for you then

Jac: What’s she going to do

Jac: no one under the age of 30 considers dating someone with a child

Jesse: might do her a favour to stay single how she picks ‘em

Jac: See if any nunnery will take her, good idea

Jesse: but she’ll probably just go for a 30+ man instead, like

Jac: 🤮

Jesse: could be she were throwing up when she didn’t answer her phone, good point

Jac: It’s grim

Jac: It’s making me feel sick just thinking about it

Jesse: I’m gonna have a go at giving her a ring back

Jac: Alright

Jesse: if I get through, I’ll let you know before she does

Jac: Sure thing

Jac: I have nothing more to say to her right now

Jesse: in a bit then

Jac: Tell me what she says though

Jesse: yeah, obviously

Jac: She won’t reach out to me again, I’m aware

Jesse: might not to me either

Jac: You’d have to go some to have said anything near the level I did, don’t worry

Jesse: Don’t usually get fuming at her though, do I? Has more !!! when I do

Jac: Not a competition

Jesse: never said it was, just saying why she might not answer

Jac: Yeah, but let’s face it, she needs all the friends she can get

Jac: it’s an olive branch and she’s a beggar rn

Jesse: [leave and go call her for all the good we know it won’t do sir]

Jac: Did she answer?

Jac: [After a sensible period because we care but we’re not rabid lol]

Jesse: [After a while ‘cause I’m gonna say she did since he’s the one she’s closest to]

Jesse: I don’t wanna get your hopes up but she sounded less sure she were in the right, like she could change her mind

Jesse: but it’s just words for now, I dunno

Jac: It’s something

Jac: better than yeah I know I’m ruining everyone’s lives and what

Jac: clock is literally ticking though so

Jac: yeah

Jesse: she asked if I’d spoke to you, how you were and all that, I reckon some of what you said must’ve sunk in a bit

Jac: I hope you laid it on thick

Jesse: I did yeah

Jac: 👌 someone has got to stay firm with her

Jac: as the parents have failed, obvs

Jac: or you know what she’s like, 😑=😁 and we’re all 👏 for her

Jesse: sounded like she wants to talk to you again, I never weighed in 👍 or 👎 for if you would or nah, it’s up to her to sort out

Jac: I’m not going to ignore her, no sense both being childish

Jac: She can try, but you don’t need to tell her, she either will or won’t

Jesse: right

Jac: Has she realised that she’s going to be going back to school 6 months pregnant

Jac: even if she hides all summer, you can’t put a baggier jumper over that

Jesse: She can’t hack how people are talking about her ex and they don’t know the rest

Jac: She should get a job

Jac: let’s face it, when she can’t go do all the usual stupid shit her crowd do, they’ll forget about her fast

Jac: six weeks is a long time when you’re her age

Jac: at least it’d put her time to use and stop her moping about

Jesse: They’ll have her back at [whatever Pete’s record store and coffee shop where Jesse worked before he was famous is called] she’s done alright there before, customers like how full on she is

Jac: I’ll tell mum and dad to make her

Jesse: 👍

Jac: She’s going to have to show so much more willing and self-motivation if she wants anyone to hire her as a under 25s single mum

Jac: so many places don’t bother taking on teens at all now

Jac: At least she can’t get in any worse trouble now, that’s the line, right

Jesse: Unless she kicks off at someone who reckons she knew about the other girlfriend and the garda come knocking

Jac: Free abortion without the guilt 🤷‍♀️

Jac: She’s so stupid, that’s the storyline you would go with

Jac: because the alternative is no I really thought he loved me and just hated social media with a passion 🙄

Jesse: she can’t not say what’s in her head, dunno who she takes after, like

Jac: I think that’s a disorder, not genetics

Jac: let you know when I cover it

Jesse: tah

Jac: Some people don’t have an inner voice, could be her

Jac: got to narrate it all because her 🧠 is empty

Jesse: that why she don’t have any volume control on her voice either?

Jac: ruling out some deafness, maybe

Jesse: there we go then, nowt else I can do tonight

Jac: yeah

Jac: brotherly duties achieved

Jesse: You still doing okay?

Jac: ‘Course

Jesse: good

Jac: it’s going to be like this for a while

Jac: the limbo of it all

Jac: just focus on everything else and we’ll be fine

Jesse: keep adding dates ‘til I’m dead on my feet ✔️

Jac: Bingo

Jesse: Sligo’s confirmed so don’t piss off somewhere else

Jac: We’ll show

Jac: don’t need to worry about empty seats

Jesse: empty seats are the least of ‘em

Jac: No shit

Jesse: let me know if you talk to her

Jac: Will do

Jac: Okay, get to work, slacker 👋

Jesse: Will do

[networkingdefinition]

What Is Leptin Resistance?

Official Website: What Is Leptin Resistance?

When believed it was flat as well as the sunlight revolved around us, before we saw the globe as a globe rotating in the huge expanse of space we.

Before we understood the risks of mercury– as a neurotoxin as well as total health and wellness no-no– it was as soon as taken into consideration the best therapy for a host of medical conditions, for every little thing from syphilis to parasites.

Before we had contemporary health-conscious cosmetics women would embellish themselves with lead-filled face paint as well as clean their skin with ammonia. They would gradually toxin themselves but were convinced it was crucial for true charm.

The understanding we have gotten throughout the years has not come without a reasonable share of innocent misunderstandings, yet the good news is, as we understand much more we have the ability to make more educated options based on real science, on reality, on what works. It is important we build our activities on a foundation of reality.

Our beliefs concerning weight loss have actually focused around frequently shifting paradigms. Throughout the years we have criticized different things for our lack of ability to reduce weight and maintain it off – high-fat foods, carbs, calories, lack of motivation, genetics … We have, in a way, been individuals that assumed the sun orbited us.

Deep down we might notice there’s one more reason for our inability to control our cravings and also our expanding midsection, however just don’t recognize what it is. , if you look at the diet plan and also health market we have produced you’ll see the responses we’re fed about the obesity epidemic.. We are provided brand-new “answers” and “solutions” all the time, therefore– loaded with hope– we attempt them, just to be disappointed when we end up back where we started.

What happens if I informed you the health market has got it all incorrect?

What happens if I were to tell you that we actually have the solution for why you have put on weight and been not able to lose it?

Would certainly you think me?

If you’re anything like individuals I have actually simply explained, the people that have actually relied on the “answers” and also “options” in the past, most likely not. You might be burnt out on hope … Yet, you are reading these words so there must be some trace of hope left, as well as I intend to collaborate with that little bit of remaining wish to change your life. As well as I indicate it.

We’re below to show you a brand-new method, to direct you towards the actual source of your weight gain. Say goodbye to criticizing the wrong thing, looking in the incorrect direction, no more squandering your time.

The Genuine Reason

This new direction begins with something called leptin. Never listened to of leptin before? Did you understand leptin assists regulate bone mass, the menstrual cycle, the synthesis of thyroid hormones, our hunger and metabolic rate?

Leptin is called the “obesity hormone” and also the “fat hormone.” A quite large idea for what it is accountable for.

When our body runs flawlessly, as a well-oiled equipment, leptin would certainly be created by your body’s fat cells and interact with the hypothalamus (in our brain) through the bloodstream. If your body fat were to decrease, leptin needs to adhere to suit and diminish, signalling to your brain to stop melting fat– to store the fat you have– to increase your hunger as well as prompt you to eat.

This is just how things are expected to operate. However what takes place when something interrupts the equilibrium which our body is implied to maintain? That’s when leptin resistance happens, and this leptin resistance is the factor for our unproductive (yet well-intentioned) attempts to take control of our wellness and body. When you are leptin immune you won’t lose the weight no matter how little you eat or just how much workout you do.

Fortunately, there is an escape. Your life does not need to be ruled by leptin resistance, there is something you can do. Genuine outcomes. Actual science. No yearning for the very best. As well as this is where we are available in. If you’ve had enough of the unlimited attempting and also disappointment, if you’ve had enough of sensation like a prisoner in your body and also a detainee to food then an item called Leptitox might help. It is a ground-breaking supplement program that attends to the origin and also damages the terrible cycle of weight gain at last.

Here you will certainly find responses, you will certainly get alleviation, you will certainly have a strategy that works.

1.- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6354688/-.

When our body runs faultlessly, as a well-oiled device, leptin would be produced by your body’s fat cells as well as interact with the hypothalamus (in our brain) through the blood stream.( 1) This is exactly how points are supposed to work: a high level of leptin in the body notifies your brain that there is adequate fat stored, you are not depriving– you will certainly endure – as well as so your appetite is changed off and also you shed extra fat. If your body fat were to decrease, leptin needs to adhere to match and also reduce, signalling to your brain to quit shedding fat– to save the fat you have– to increase your hunger as well as prompt you to consume.

That’s when leptin resistance happens, and also this leptin resistance is the reason for our ineffective (yet well-intentioned) tries to take control of our wellness and also body. As soon as you are leptin immune you won’t lose the weight no matter exactly how little you eat or just how much exercise you do. [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'a', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_a').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_a img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'e', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_e').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_e img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'i', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_i').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_i img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'o', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_o').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_o img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'u', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_u').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_u img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'y', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_y').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_y img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

[equitiesstocks]

What Is Leptin Resistance?

Official Website: What Is Leptin Resistance?

When believed it was flat as well as the sunlight revolved around us, before we saw the globe as a globe rotating in the huge expanse of space we.

Before we understood the risks of mercury– as a neurotoxin as well as total health and wellness no-no– it was as soon as taken into consideration the best therapy for a host of medical conditions, for every little thing from syphilis to parasites.

Before we had contemporary health-conscious cosmetics women would embellish themselves with lead-filled face paint as well as clean their skin with ammonia. They would gradually toxin themselves but were convinced it was crucial for true charm.

The understanding we have gotten throughout the years has not come without a reasonable share of innocent misunderstandings, yet the good news is, as we understand much more we have the ability to make more educated options based on real science, on reality, on what works. It is important we build our activities on a foundation of reality.

Our beliefs concerning weight loss have actually focused around frequently shifting paradigms. Throughout the years we have criticized different things for our lack of ability to reduce weight and maintain it off – high-fat foods, carbs, calories, lack of motivation, genetics … We have, in a way, been individuals that assumed the sun orbited us.

Deep down we might notice there’s one more reason for our inability to control our cravings and also our expanding midsection, however just don’t recognize what it is. , if you look at the diet plan and also health market we have produced you’ll see the responses we’re fed about the obesity epidemic.. We are provided brand-new “answers” and “solutions” all the time, therefore– loaded with hope– we attempt them, just to be disappointed when we end up back where we started.

What happens if I informed you the health market has got it all incorrect?

What happens if I were to tell you that we actually have the solution for why you have put on weight and been not able to lose it?

Would certainly you think me?

If you’re anything like individuals I have actually simply explained, the people that have actually relied on the “answers” and also “options” in the past, most likely not. You might be burnt out on hope … Yet, you are reading these words so there must be some trace of hope left, as well as I intend to collaborate with that little bit of remaining wish to change your life. As well as I indicate it.

We’re below to show you a brand-new method, to direct you towards the actual source of your weight gain. Say goodbye to criticizing the wrong thing, looking in the incorrect direction, no more squandering your time.

The Genuine Reason

This new direction begins with something called leptin. Never listened to of leptin before? Did you understand leptin assists regulate bone mass, the menstrual cycle, the synthesis of thyroid hormones, our hunger and metabolic rate?

Leptin is called the “obesity hormone” and also the “fat hormone.” A quite large idea for what it is accountable for.

When our body runs flawlessly, as a well-oiled equipment, leptin would certainly be created by your body’s fat cells and interact with the hypothalamus (in our brain) through the bloodstream. If your body fat were to decrease, leptin needs to adhere to suit and diminish, signalling to your brain to stop melting fat– to store the fat you have– to increase your hunger as well as prompt you to eat.

This is just how things are expected to operate. However what takes place when something interrupts the equilibrium which our body is implied to maintain? That’s when leptin resistance happens, and this leptin resistance is the factor for our unproductive (yet well-intentioned) attempts to take control of our wellness and body. When you are leptin immune you won’t lose the weight no matter how little you eat or just how much workout you do.

Fortunately, there is an escape. Your life does not need to be ruled by leptin resistance, there is something you can do. Genuine outcomes. Actual science. No yearning for the very best. As well as this is where we are available in. If you’ve had enough of the unlimited attempting and also disappointment, if you’ve had enough of sensation like a prisoner in your body and also a detainee to food then an item called Leptitox might help. It is a ground-breaking supplement program that attends to the origin and also damages the terrible cycle of weight gain at last.

Here you will certainly find responses, you will certainly get alleviation, you will certainly have a strategy that works.

1.- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6354688/-.

When our body runs faultlessly, as a well-oiled device, leptin would be produced by your body’s fat cells as well as interact with the hypothalamus (in our brain) through the blood stream.( 1) This is exactly how points are supposed to work: a high level of leptin in the body notifies your brain that there is adequate fat stored, you are not depriving– you will certainly endure – as well as so your appetite is changed off and also you shed extra fat. If your body fat were to decrease, leptin needs to adhere to match and also reduce, signalling to your brain to quit shedding fat– to save the fat you have– to increase your hunger as well as prompt you to consume.

That’s when leptin resistance happens, and also this leptin resistance is the reason for our ineffective (yet well-intentioned) tries to take control of our wellness and also body. As soon as you are leptin immune you won’t lose the weight no matter exactly how little you eat or just how much exercise you do. [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'a', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_a').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_a img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'e', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_e').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_e img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'i', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_i').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_i img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'o', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_o').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_o img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'u', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_u').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_u img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'y', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_y').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_y img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

[mrsteveecook]

my coworker keeps making me do my old job, manager doesn’t believe I’m sick, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker keeps trying to make me do my old job

I have held a few different positions where I work. Eighteen months ago, I was promoted and someone was hired to take my former position. I continue to handle many of the same tasks I did when I was in her position. She becomes very defensive when someone assumes she does one of these tasks and says, “I’ve never done that!” and tells them they’ll have to speak with me. We have the same boss, who is a whole separate nightmare, and doesn’t seem to notice that I’m still doing this person’s job as well as my own. How can I ask why I am still doing my former job when someone else has been hired to do it but hasn’t managed to learn it in almost two years? I don’t want to seem like I’m saying “not my job” but … it’s not my job anymore.

I almost wonder if they want me to supervise her without being a supervisor. I am not salaried and barely make more than she does, but I audit her work, create all the templates for the schedules she needs to make, etc. Please advise.

It doesn’t sound like your boss has told you to do this, but rather than you’ve just assumed you need to since otherwise the work won’t get done. So you’ve got to speak up, explain you aren’t going to continue doing this, and then stop doing it. Otherwise your coworker has no reason to change.

To your coworker, say this: “It’s actually your responsibility to do X, Y, and Z. I’m not able to continue doing them because I have to focus on my own work. If you’re not sure how to do them, I can show you, but I can’t continue to do it for you.” (Have you trained her on those tasks? If not, do that right away. If you have, you can either say “I can show you one final time but can’t help after that” or, if true, “instructions are in the documentation I left you.” Then stop helping and be assertive about sending that work back to her to do.

Meanwhile, you need to tell your boss this is happening. She legitimately may not realize it’s happening, or the extent to which it’s happening. Say something like, “I need Jane to fully take over X, Y, and Z. I’ve trained her in it, but she continues to tell people she doesn’t know how to do those things and directs them to me. I don’t have time to continue doing so much of my old job on top of my current job. I’ve let her know that she needs to handle these herself, but I wanted to give you a heads-up so you’re in the loop.” (That’s especially important because if those tasks end up going undone because Jane refuses to do them, you need to have explained what’s happening to your boss beforehand.)

2. My manager doesn’t believe or doesn’t care if I’m sick

I’m currently working my first ever job, part-time hourly in retail, and I’m not sure if what’s happening is normal or not. My managers seem to have issues with me leaving when I’m sick. A few weeks ago, I began to feel feverish and sick at work. I was told I was not allowed to go home since I didn’t look sick. I insisted I was, and my manager told me if I went home they would begin to schedule me when I was in class because if I didn’t help them out, why should they help me out? I ended up calling out the next day and saw my doctor, who confirmed I had strep throat.

Yesterday, I was at work feeling normal when I fainted out of nowhere. I’ve never fainted before. When I came to, my managers offered me a bottle of water and told me to take a few minutes before going back to work. My job requires me to stand and walk around. I didn’t feel comfortable doing so, and asked to go home. I understood they might not have wanted me to drive, so I offered to have someone come pick me up. My manager told me if I was really sick, he’d call 911. Obviously I wasn’t in an emergency situation, but I was scared and wanted to find out what was wrong. I had to work the rest of the day.

Is this normal? This job is just some pocket change while I’m in school, but I feel like this is really overbearing and I can’t last. I have been told that I’m very good at my job, and although I suppose I’ve been sick a few times, I had a doctor’s note last time and this time I was actually unconscious on the floor. I wasn’t asking for it to be paid, and I would’ve understood if they counted it against me as an absence or early leave or whatever, but I just knew I was too sick to work. Is this normal or a toxic environment?

No, this is not normal. Your manager is an ass — which actually isn’t uncommon in retail, but this sounds like you’ve landed on the particularly toxic end of the retail spectrum.

Your employer is treating you like a child who might be lying to them (“you don’t look sick”) and also being jerks (“we’re going to schedule you while we know you’re in class”) and unreasonable (you can be plenty sick without needing 911 called).

It would be worth asking around about other part-jobs where people are treated more reasonably and respectfully.

3. I’m annoyed that I can’t trade my vacation time for cash

I’ve been at my company for several years, and in the past, I’ve successfully negotiated a decrease in vacation time in exchange for a one-time bonus (of the equivalent amount of pay). My company has a “use it or lose it” policy, and I’m the rare bird (or maybe not so rare?) who just doesn’t like or appreciate a lot of time off; two weeks is typically more than enough for me.

This past year, since I surpassed X amount of years, I was given X weeks off. I asked for an exchange of less time off for more money, and was immediately told “this isn’t in the budget.” I reminded my boss there was a precedent for this in the past and was told it’s not in the budget. This volley went back and forth a few times before I dropped it.

We’re now more than halfway through the year, and I have more time off than I know what to do with. Do I dare bring up the negotiation? (Quite frankly, the money has more value to me than the time off.) Do I just start taking Fridays off and making three day weekends a thing? Do I run out the clock through the end of the year and waste a benefit that I l earned?

This doesn’t really sit well/right with me, but I’m wondering if you or any other readers have been in a similar situation, or can offer some insight into how I can, well, get over it. I think most Americans would probably want MORE time off rather than less, but I’m just not someone who really wants, values, or needs more than two weeks off, at most.

I wouldn’t bring it up again. It sounds like you pushed for it pretty hard last time and got a firm no. I’d wait at least a year, and maybe a bit longer, before raising it again — and when you do, it really can only be “has anything changed about this?” and then immediately dropping it if the answer is no.

As for what to do with your vacation time — a bunch of three-day weekends are a good way to use it up. Or if you can take it in half-day increments, consider a bunch of afternoons off. If you don’t know what to do with the time and don’t enjoy simply lounging around, why not use it to volunteer somewhere that needs weekday, daytime volunteers (which can be hard to find)?

4. My company offered to hire my wife to keep us from moving

My wife, Molly, recently accepted a big new job on the other side of the country and so, being the good spouse, I promptly went to my various team leads and told them I was leaving. Surprisingly, the first I told asked if I could stay on remotely. As I spoke to the heads of the other three teams I work with, two more asked me to stay on. I’m flabbergasted because we have all of two remote employees and a policy that discourages remote work, but I said I’d gladly accept a remote position. So far so good.

This morning I spoke with my many bosses’ boss, the CFO, Jane. She seemed surprised and wished me the best. Half an hour later, she emails me asking if I knew she’d been looking to hire a position like the one my wife had accepted, and if I could forward Molly’s resume. I asked for clarification, and she explained that she would be willing to torpedo their final round of interviews with their final candidates and hire my wife here to keep me.

I asked my wife, and she’s not at all interested, not even a little bit. Her new gig is much bigger than the position here, and we’ve already hired movers. How do I disconnect from a suddenly clingy company?

“I relayed your offer to Molly. She’s excited about the job she’s already accepted and committed to taking it, but she said she really appreciated your interest in her.”

If they keep trying to find other ways to keep you there, just be forthright that it’s not an option: “I really appreciate you trying to make it work, but the move is a definite thing.”

5. Candidate sent a PDF of emails praising her work

I’m on a hiring committee for an administrative assistant position at a large public research university. One of our applicants, in addition to submitting the required cover letter and resume, also submitted a PDF of compiled “feedback” she received in her previous position. It’s about four pages of brief excerpts from emails sent to her, each with a heading of the date, the sender’s name, and the sender’s position or title (ex. “April 1, 2017, Bob Smith, AVP for Academic Affairs: I really appreciate your initiative with xyz project! You’re a vital member of this team and I hope you stay in our office forever, etc. etc.”)

Is this a thing that people do? I understand the impulse to demonstrate you were a valued employee at your previous job, but that’s what letters of recommendation are for. Including excerpts of people’s emails (from coworkers and supervisors as well as students and parents of students) in a job application, presumably without their permission, seems like a bit of a red flag, especially when the position we are hiring for requires confidentiality and tact. She is otherwise a very strong candidate. What do we do? Ignore it? Take the positive feedback into account, or take it as a red flag?

It’s not typically a thing people do, no. It can be fine to include one or two truly superlative quotes in your cover letter or even on your resume, but they need to be truly outstanding and include real substance and specifics (not just “great job!”) — because otherwise, it ends up making it look like you don’t really know what top performance really looks like. A whole document of them is over the top, and especially so in this case, where it sounds like the quotes are not even especially impressive.

If she’s otherwise a great candidate, I might take it as a flag to just pay extra attention to her professionalism in general, but on its own I wouldn’t let it stop you from hiring her. The confidentiality thing is perhaps more of a concern in your context, though, and it if there’s anything there that particularly seems like a breach of confidentiality (not just the existence of a quote, but its substance and source), it would be worth asking her about that.

You may also like:

how honest should we be about why we’re transferring a client (who sent a creepy, inappropriate email)?

my coworker trained me and now won’t stop telling me how to do my job

my coworker has punched and kicked me under the table at meetings

my coworker keeps making me do my old job, manager doesn’t believe I’m sick, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from Ask a Manager https://ift.tt/2CmndbY

[lesliepump]

2 Chatbot Platforms for Lawyers, No Coding Required

If you’re a little bit nervous about programming, but interested in learning more about chatbots and how you might use them in your practice, roll up your sleeves because this article will give you a whirlwind introduction into how to build a chatbot, no programming required.

You don’t have to be a hacker to make useful law bots. In fact, as a lawyer, you already know many things that can give you an advantage in building a bot.

For one, you know your domain. You’ve been practicing law with many clients, and you know how people act, how to talk to them, what to say, and how to say it. Those years of experience make you a domain expert not only in your area of law but also an expert in the needs of the people who purchase your services. You know your customer.

Simply put, a chatbot is a computer program that can automate tasks and simulate conversation. The ability to combine these two things is what makes them intriguing. Imagine being able to automate lead qualification or client intake or appointment scheduling. As an experienced practitioner, you can imbue the chatbot with best practice, the right questions and a sense of your personality.

But, how do you do it? Where do you get started?

I want to make it easy to dive in and get started with chatbots so let me introduce you to a couple of chatbot platforms I recommend for beginners and how they work.

Chatfuel

Chatfuel is one of the more popular and visually intuitive chatbot builders that requires no coding. Its claim to fame is that you can create a Facebook Messenger chatbot in 10 minutes or less.

The upside to creating a chatbot that lives in Facebook Messenger is that you have access to Facebook users and a wealth of demographic data that you could use to target your potential customers and advertise to them. It’s a popular platform with over 1.3 billion monthly active users.

Create a bot. If you have a Facebook account, you’re going to have to log in to that first. Then, you click the Get Started for Free button on Chatfuel, and it will ask you to confirm your Facebook credentials and give you access to Chatfuel’s dashboard.

As you can see, it comes with some nifty templates you can use to create a bot based on an existing design. Let’s keep it simple and try Create a blank bot.

Add a welcome message. A welcome message is a standard element of any chatbot you will build. Think of it as your first impression. It’s the first thing that the person using your chatbot will see and it’s best to introduce your chatbot and tell the user what your chatbot can do, and maybe just as importantly, tell them what it can’t do.

One of the things you’ll notice here is the use of the tag.1 Because this bot will live on Facebook, of course it knows who everybody is. So, you can use that information to personalize your greeting.

How cool is that?

Next, notice at the bottom of the Welcome message it says “+ADD BUTTON.” That button is what your user will click on to go to the next step. But before we create that button, I need first to introduce you to the concept of “cards.”

Cards/blocks. A card is a way of communicating with your user. Think of it as a sentence, but a sentence that can be text or visual.

You can use text, images, quick replies, typing effects, a gallery of images or pull information from a number of outside sources through integrations. By just clicking on any of the elements above, you can create a card.

Here’s an example of a group of cards (or a “block” in Chatfuel lingo) I’ve created called “Get Started.”

On top, I greet the user by name. Then the “typing…” card will give the effect of manual typing you see on Messenger when you’re waiting for someone to finish typing their response. Next, I ask a question and provide several “quick replies” the user can select as an answer instead of typing their response.

And here’s what it looks like on Facebook Messenger.

Now you may be thinking, “But what about artificial intelligence and bots being able to read text and understand it, like Watson?” Well, Chatfuel can do that too.

Artificial intelligence. This is where it gets interesting. Now, I’ll admit that Chatfuel does not employ the same level of sophistication as Watson, but it does allow you to take advantage of a feature of AI called natural language processing (NLP).

With NLP, we can define what a user has to say to trigger a specific reply. Chatfuel lets you enter several examples of how the user might express the intent you are trying to capture. In this case, the user intends to seek legal advice. You can also randomize the replies so they aren’t always the same. This gives a less mechanical feel to the interaction if you ask the question again later.

It looks like this on Messenger.

You will notice that although the user’s word choice did not exactly match the examples I provided to Chatfuel, Chatfuel nonetheless understood what the intent of the request was and served up the correct response.

Error handling. Although AI and NLP are exciting, a word of warning: It is very easy for a conversation to get off track if a user is given the expectation that he or she can have a free-ranging, open-ended conversation with a bot. It’s an expectation that usually ends in disappointment.

Chatfuel (and almost all current chatbot systems) are not designed to have a conversation on any topic. For that reason, using buttons and quick replies to narrow the scope of user response is a powerful tool to avoid user frustration. A guided conversation also increases the chances that you will lead the user in the direction you envisioned.

Integrations. In addition to conversational automation, NLP and AI, Chatfuel has many integrations that allow you to pull information into communications you are having with a user or push the user’s response out to third-party resources.

For example, you can use a response to run a Google search, post the response to a Google sheet, display video from Youtube or tweets from Twitter. You can also integrate Chatfuel with your Google Calendar, and pull posts from your WordPress blog.

And for those who can code, you can take user input and post it to a webhook for greater flexibility.

Publishing. Once your bot is ready for prime time, it’s time to publish it on Facebook Messenger.

But, before you do that, you want to make sure you’re good to go. I highly recommend you have a couple of friends who aren’t lawyers check it out so you can uncover all the rough edges and correct them before you release it to the public.

To publish, you need a Facebook page to connect your bot to, which raises an interesting point. What Facebook page will you use and who is your audience?

If you plan to use your law firm’s Facebook page, you’ll need to define your audience. Are they current clients, past clients, friends or family members? A combination of both? What interaction would provide them with value and increase engagement with your firm? Answering these questions will help you in having a successful and useful chatbot.

FlowXO

FlowXO is another chatbot builder that requires no coding skills. I’ve included FlowXO because it is easy to use and you can install it on your website. But, you can still publish your bot on Facebook Messenger, Slack, Telegram or Twilio SMS.

Create a bot. Getting started is easy and you don’t have to share your Facebook credentials with FlowXO to sign up. Just click on the “Start for Free” button and create an account. Gotta love freemium!

So let’s create a bot.

Just as in Chatfuel, we can define a Welcome message to introduce your bot to the user. But, because the bot will be hosted on your website, FlowXO provides some great options to customize the look and feel of the bot. You can change the theme color to match your site and include your logo or picture as an icon.

Here’s what the welcome message looks like on your website.

Flows. FlowXO has a different approach to the bot-making process than Chatfuel. Instead of Cards and Blocks, here we create “Flows,” naturally. What makes a flow a potential time-saver is that it can be used by just one bot or you can share it across multiple bots so there’s no need to duplicate efforts.

You can create a flow using a template of an existing design, but let’s use “Blank Flow.”

To start a flow, we first need to define a “trigger” that starts the conversation.

In this case, we’ll create a trigger that is activated when a user types in certain words. FlowXO lets you identify multiple words or phrases that can trigger a response. For example, we’ll suppose the user is asking for “What are your office hours?”

Now let’s define how the bot will respond when the user enters a trigger word or phrase.

Just like in Chatfuel, FlowXO lets you respond in a number of ways – with words, images, cards or by asking a question of the user. Here we’ll just send a text response back to the user.

How easy was that? And this is what the conversation looks like on your website when the user types in the trigger phrase.

Of course, your bot does not need to be limited to telling website visitors your office hours. You can also design it to answer frequently asked questions, ask a lead qualifying questions, or give out driving directions. The possibilities are limitless.

Integrations. Speaking of limitless options, a stand out advantage to using FlowXO over other builders is its impressive number (100+) integrations with other services.

With all of these integrations you can import user information into your CRM, email campaign manager, calendar, project management system and, if those are not enough, you can always roll your own integration with a webhook or custom coding.

Integrations might sound overwhelming, but it is one of the most valuable things you can add to your bot and one of the most requested features. I find once people get comfortable with the idea of a conversational interface, they get excited about what more it can do to connect with their other systems. And, in the case of FlowXO, that’s a whole lot!

Error handling. People are going to try to break your bot. It’s just going to happen. But thankfully FlowXO lets us define a catch-all response for those pranksters.

Publishing. Installing the FlowXO bot on your website is as easy as cutting and pasting the code onto the web page where you want the bot to appear.

You can also have it appear throughout your website if you prefer. If you use WordPress, just be sure to add the code to your page in the text, not visual, editor.

Conclusion

I hope I’ve managed to get you a little jazzed about chatbots and what you can do with them. You don’t have to be a hacker. You don’t have to be backed by millions of dollars.

As lawyers, I think we’re uniquely suited to create chatbots with these tools. We are trained in concepts, outlines, flowcharts, and connections.

A chatbot is just a way we can take different aspects of how we practice law and externalize that process. Chatbots hold the promise of letting us take the repetitive parts of our work and automate them so we can focus on the more financially and personally rewarding stuff.

And, if you do make something, tell me about it. I’d love to see what you’ve created.

I know, I promised no coding required! But this is pretty simple really and worth it. ↩

2 Chatbot Platforms for Lawyers, No Coding Required was originally published on Lawyerist.com.

from Law and Politics https://lawyerist.com/chatbot-platforms-beginners-no-coding-required/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#Legal #law

[theastonishingkylejackson]

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What happens when you take two writers, who are always glued to a computer, writing down their thoughts who have seemingly different backgrounds, perspectives and lifestyles, and give them the same topic to write about?

Let’s find out. 

As of today, The Astonishing Tales digital online magazine will be pairing up editor Jamie Alyson Dwyer and publisher Kyle Jackson on a weekly basis, to tackle one column, from the perspectives of a married woman and a single guy.

For the first topic in their weekly series, Jamie and Kyle will give their opinions on the age old question (maybe it’s not an age old question, but in today’s day and age, it ought to be):

What Does Love Mean to You?

    What Does Love Mean TO ME – By Jamie Alyson Dwyer, Married and the Contributing Cultural Editor

Love is not quantitative, Love is absolute.

My husband uttered these words to me the other night when I asked him why he didn’t respond back to my, “I love you more.” I absolutely agree with him and interesting enough, he is right. You either love something or you don’t.

But love can mean so many things. Today I am going to explore what “I love you” means for me. These three little words that can hold such powerful meaning and energy. I don’t typically say I love you just for any reason.

When I say I love you to someone it is because I absolutely admire them. I will help them in times of need and I will be the best friend I can possibly be for them.

When spoken to my family, this is the never ending, has always been there type of love. Even when I despised the thought of being near one, I still had love. You can love something but it doesn’t mean you have to like them. Now isn’t that an interesting thought? My mema once told this to me about someone and I never really understood what that meant until I got older. In my case, I love this person.

They are close family and I would help them anyway that I possibly could. I would mourn them if they ceased to exist, but it doesn’t mean that I liked them. I didn’t want to be near them. There was nothing in common, lack of respect from both parties and just a sense of loss of the friendship we once shared. But I loved them. And still do. We are on much better terms these days because I learned to love and ACCEPT who they are and their individual growth.

Accept could be a deeper meaning of an I love you from me. I accept you. I accept your flaws, your choices, your uniqueness that is you. I accept you therefore I love you. But that is only once aspect of loving someone for me.

My husband. The man I love more than anyone else.

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  He is my best friend. My partner. My lover. My everything. When I say I love you to him, its different than that to say, my dad. I LOVE my husband. Deeper. With more passion. With more gusto to please and adore. With more acceptance than any other. I would die in his place if it meant that he could have one more day.

My world would cease to exist without his presence. There is a longing there to protect, love, adore, to please. This is the deepest love I can feel. He gave me children that are of him. Which leads me to what I love you means in those moments.

When I speak these words to my children, its a deep feeling of unconditional love. A love so strong that I would go to the ends of the Earth and back again to make sure they are always happy, complete and loved. Without them in my life, I have no motivation to succeed. I have forgotten what life is like without having them here to giggle in small moments. To hear the sound of their tiny feet upon the ground or the soft whispers of mommy at three am with deep warm snuggles. In those moments, my heart explodes with so much love. I love them. More and more and more and more.

I love you is such a powerful statement. Like with all my best of friends that I have said I love you too, its because I really do. I will always be a shoulder to cry on.

I will always accept your flaws and remind you of how great you truly are. I will want nothing but the best for you. I love you to my friends is my seal for the friendship we will share. But I believe it is something you shouldn’t say lightly.

It is a commitment. A bond between you and another that says, “you be who you are and I will be me; let’s accept and cherish all that we can individually be.” That may be the basis of what I love you means for me. So if you ever hear me utter these words to you, I absolutely mean it. I won’t just say it to make you feel good or because you may have said it to me. I will say it to you when I mean it and I am feeling it in my heart center.

And then when I say I love you on a Facebook or Instagram post, I’m saying it out of sheer happiness and understanding that someone needs to be told they are loved. Even if I haven’t met them, I have been working on loving everyone.

This is a hard journey but one I took from a mentor of mine. His name is Jesus. “Love one another, as I love you.” A wise man indeed. Learning to love all that is, was and ever will be. Maybe once we learn to say I love you with a meaning of acceptance for one another, the world can truly be beautiful. I know we are on the path to this life of utopia, so let’s accelerate the process and get us there even faster. What if we taught our children to utter I love you as much as we want them to say please and thank you? What magnificent energy that this world would emit. Pure, unconditional loving energy.

I’m The Astonishing Jamie Alyson Dwyer and I approve my Love Message!

    What Love Means To ME – By The Astonishing Kyle Jackson, Single and Publisher of The Astonishing Tales

  For me, when I say I love you, it means I cherish you and I accept you for who you were, who you are, and who you will always be.

When I say the words, I’m in Love with You, it means that I choose you to be the person I’m always happy saying the words I love you to, and I’ll always be smiling at you, and even through the good times and bad times, especially the bad, I can always recall that you’re the person I chose. And you chose me.

Maybe it’s old fashioned, but I expect the same thing when someone says both those things to me. I’m an open person and I d my best to let it all hang out and be that person who shares everything.

When I take a lover, I let them know the whole me, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the astonishing, so they can fully make an informed decision about if they want to be with me.

I expect the same as well I suppose. When I think of love and what it should be, I think of it as the truest partnership between two people.

Two people who’s hearts have chosen each other, but their minds have to understand each I guess.  Love is about making a promise that is unspoken to always be there, to always support that person and stand by them, and be whatever they need you to be. Love is saying I want you, I choose you, but I need you because you are the balance to who I am. Love – and when you say I love you – it means sometimes you also have to be the person to say, “I want what’s best for you and I won’t let you hurt yourself. Or us and this love that we have.”

But I’ve learned in the last years of my life that love is powerful, and it can overcome you. And when you fully feel it for a woman, it becomes your life. You sacrifice things that you never thought you’d sacrifice and you accept things and make compromises that you never thought you make. All because you love someone. And you love them unconditionally.

The only thing that can change that is if they don’t love you back. And understand, not everyone loves the same.

I’m a divorcee. I was divorced by the time I was 22-years-old. Yeah, I like to start out young.

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  With that relationship, I learned that love can be just a game to some people. And I stopped trying to love and spent most of my twenties playing around, and doing everything I could running from love. Oh, but I’m a hopeless romantic deep down. And I did find love…. but I wasn’t ready to fall in love though.

And a few women loved me deeply…. even a wonderful Cajun girl who loved me with all her heart. But I wasn’t ready for it, and I hurt her. However, coming out of my twenties, I then found love with someone else. I found for me, true love. Because I never loved as hard as I did in that relationship.

Today, November 5th, I turn 35. And I’m single right now. That relationship where I loved so hard…. it wasn’t meant to be.

But no regrets. I believe that you can love someone and even if it doesn’t work out, you can still come out stronger because I can sleep well at night knowing that I loved with all I had and I did everything I could. So I’m not soured on love. I’m not bitter. I’m not chasing down the past or trying to find someone else to replace or fill a void. Instead, I’m just a guy carrying on and moving forward, with my fondest memories of a beautiful life that I lived with a woman that I loved, that just wasn’t meant to be.

I still love the idea of love. I love being in love. I loved being in love with this person. Maybe one day I’ll do it again. I don’t envy people who are in love, because truly, each person’s love is different. You could read my thoughts on love and think, “I don’t agree with his hypothesis of love.”

That’s okay. Love is like cooking. We all do it differently, but the meal kinda sometimes comes out the same, you know?

Sadly, a lot of us burn the meal. But it’s just a matter of if you still sit down and enjoy it and eat it like it’s a steak from Ruth Chris Steakhouse.

And like a meal…. sometimes that love you have…. you’ve got to send it back to the kitchen because it’s just not edible.

I guess that’s my thoughts on love. Love and the words I love you and being in love are only as good as the people who are in it.

Otherwise, it’s just a dinner sitting on a beautiful table, waiting to be eaten. And it’s a delicious meal depending on who’s eating the damn thing.

  I am The Astonishing Kyle Jackson and I approve this message of Love!

  If you like this column, send us an email at [email protected] and give us a topic for next week’s column that you want our opinions on. We’re Two Writers, One Column!

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Two Writers, One Column What happens when you take two writers, who are always glued to a computer, writing down their thoughts who have seemingly different backgrounds, perspectives and lifestyles, and give them the same topic to write about?