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skullboiz · 2 months

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putting all my concert thoughts in a poast before i forget. here we go mucho texto warning. also setlist talk is gonna be out of order probably

the drive to the venue took longer than anticipated, traffic was so backed because dfw is just Like That. dont come here. and ft worth especially oh my GODDDD but we made it in time for the maine. i missed the first opener again its fine

ive only listened to the maine casually over the years and i like them but THEY WERE SUPER FUN LIVE????? the energy was so high for such a short set and they honestly sound better live than album recordings. i may have to stan

also Bassist Hot whats his number

theyre all kinda hot really. from my distance at least. sorry

robby energy

the sound at dickies arena in general is just soooo much fucking better than an outdoor stadium the guitars and drums were up to 11, ppl werent wrong abt the sound quality in this venue. sux its in ft worth though ONE MASSIVE DOWNSIDE kfmjsdkglafk

amazing sound at the cost of my hearing because. i forgot to buy ear plugs again it hurt just a lil bit. especially the pyro. at least its only been 2 times so far I WILL LEARN MY LESSON NEXT TIME LOL

i accidently sat in the wrong section but the my actual tickets i bought were closer so WE TAKE THOSE!!! not close enough to see skin pores but still very much enough

jimmy sounded great!! didnt know most of the songs despite doing a bit of listening but i got bleed american and the middle at the end which both ruled so. worth it

kinda wanted the maine back but ITS OKAY NO SHADE

patrick message on the projector. which is funny for anyone at home but FOR ME THERE I WAS LIKE [DREAD] [DREAD] [DREAD] FUCK DFW WEATHER

imagining patrick doing vocal warmups in the car by himself did lighten my mood just a tad. i had no proof but a feeling he did that

and then the pete images. only got a glimpse thru shitty venue connection but that made me laugh

and my battery was already low so the waiting and stalling was painful 😭

i was directly diagonal from the guy in the east wing lower bowl that started a monkey-see-monkey-do light show thru the whole stadium while waiting for fob and i just love the goodness of people at concerts its everything to me PEOPLE ARE GOOD

the woman next to him also danced like a beautiful drunk swan the entire show and idk if i wanted to be her or be her friend

also if u saw plain ol me clear glasses brunette hair tourdust shirt and bracelets HI YES WAS I

i didnt feel like going around to trade bracelets again as nervous anticipation set in but i DID pick out an american psycho bracelet from a person who came up to me so i completely unknowingly manifested there holy fuck. im cherishing it forever thank u to that person

WRECKING BALL. LMAO

also i sang along to Thats What You Get by Paramore playing in overspeakers because thats my fucking band but I HEARD MORE PPL IN THE CROWD SING ALONG TO OLD PANIC WHICH PERSONALLY OFFENDED ME JUST SAYIN

wdstf singalong was everything. again the energy at concerts <3333 my people

LIKE 30-40 MIN LATER FOB IS ON FINALLY. i did not cry this time to lftos i was just glad they were there the worry Dissolved

joe and andy were so visible from my seats i stared at them both nearly the entire show. patrick brain out the window they are SO MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE IN PERSON IM TELLIN YALL 4K HIGH DEFINITION THRU MY EYEBALLS GOT MY BRAIN IN A. TORNADO!

photos and videos were not fantastic my phone is nawt the latest model so nothing worth posting here sadly. but for myself? everythang

IM KICKING MYSELF because i so clearly had andy in view for HIS DRUMSTICK THING DURING SUGAR but MY FINGER DIDNT PRESS RECORD BUTTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please. please if ur close to andy, video that for me i need it for no reason other than its my favorite lil thing that nobody at tourdust shows. thank u so mch

NO CHICAGO FOR ME THIS TIME getting doa twice is kinda crazy ngl

patrick apology (no tears) for grand theft autumn was funny

andy and pete had cute smiley interactions around disloyal order during the set. or before that idk. i know a bubble hit andy's drum kit (or he swatted it away himself?) and they were smiling at that 😭😭😭 theyre litrly besties do u understand.........

of course p squared still did their signature scissoring techniques thank u for that old men

NO HEAVEN IOWA. THEY SKIPPED HEAVEN IOWAA FOR DOLDRUMS. i still went hard of course but CONSIDERING HOW GR8 THE SOUND WAS I WAS ONLY SLIGHTLY BUMMED

you dont even wanna know how estatic i was for hum hallelujah. i had to get myself proof of it for it to be real. tahnk u. ill never recover ever. peace and love in my brain

i dont rememebr certain songs where joe had this very specific swagger but he so very much did i saw him. with my own eyes. (in the voice of the luke skywalker tweet) dont worry joe i'll appreciate ur cuntiness

headfirst slide. in this venue.

oh my god bro

both p squared riffs <3 especially the one near the end where pete saw someone watching shit on their phone nd said it was basketball JEYDEUGHEKDLK patrick chiming in w something about dont make fun of his step-dad. gold.

saying smfs reminded him of texas #TEXANPRIDE #COWBOYS

PATRICK DURING RIFF SAYNG HIS GLASSES ARENT CURRENT PRESCRIPTION. THE REVEAL THAT HE STILL CANT SEE. WE LOST

medley was like. a relief to me because i expected it it was like a cool towel in the midst for what was about to come. cant blame the guy for getting literally zero practice beforehand fmdsjfdslg

the 8 ball.

i cried BIG PHAT BABY TEARS

i love them more than words can say. i didnt know i needed it but i did

im still emotional thinking abt it

saturday aftercare cured all (even though i was WOOPED from going so hard EVERY SONG. couldnt scream anymore my voice is still shot. i refuse to NOT go as hard as i do)

i think that is all the notable stuff i remember i wish i couldve written down stuff on the ride home BUT i will add more if i think of it. overall its hard to say which show i liked better they both meant the absolute world to me!!! FALL OUT BOY FOREVER

#i didnt mean to write an entire essay but. ya #line break is when fawb starts #skulltxt #my show #it can go there i guess

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schrodingersachillesheel · 11 months

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i finished TSATS and this is the series of texts i sent to my friend (who has no clue what im going on abt but is supportive) after i found out about the hate for it.

it started with angry rambling

"APPARENTLY A BUNCH OF PPL ARE HATING ON TSATS BC RICK RIORDAN DIDNT WRITE FUCKING RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE BRUH ITS A SERIES FOR MIDDLE SCHOOLERS, ADMIT YOUVE BEEN FANDOMIZED AND SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH I STG I HATE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS"

then i managed to create a coherent breakdown of why exactly i was so pissed:

"IT IS A BEAUTIFUL BOOK ABT OVERCOMING CHALLENGES IN RELATIONSHIPS AND LEARNING TO ACCEPT THE BAD WITH THE GOOD. I WALKED INTO THAT KNOWING IT WAS FOR A TARGET AUDIENCE WAY YOUNGER THAN ME BUT I STILL LOVED IT BC I CARED ABT THE CHARACTER NOT MY PERCEPTION OF THE CHARACTER. NICO WASNT OUT OF CHARACTER BC HE CHANGED AND GREW AND HEALED AND SO WHAT IF HE WASNT SOME ANGSTY BROODING TEEN IN A GAY YA ROMANCE NOVEL? HE WAS NICO. I CAME FOR NICO. I CRIED AND I LAUGHED BC I CAN OVERLOOK INCONSISTENCIES FOR AN AMAZING STORY ABOUT THE BRAVERY IT TAKES TO DARE TO CHANGE AND BE DIFFERENT. IDC IF IT WAS CRINGY, BC IF I WANTED A LGBT YA NOVEL ID PICK UP MY FAVORITE LGBT YA AUTHOR (adam silvera <33) I CHOSE TO READ A BOOK FOR PRETEENS. ANYONE THAT READ TSATS CHOSE TO READ A BOOK FOR PRETEENS. ITS NOT GOING TO AGE WITH YOU BC THOSE PRETEENS NEED IT MORE THAN YOU DO. READ IT KNOWING THAT SOME KID OUT THERE FEELS ALONE JUST LIKE YOU DID. SOME KID OUT THERE IS SCARED AND NEEDS TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE NICOS AND WILLS AND PIPERS OUT THERE. i hit the character limit but it just drives me insane"

i saw someone say they could write an essay on this but wouldn't and id just like to say that i fucking LOVE writing essays so i could and i WILL write an essay on this. this silly little series means way too much to me and nico is my favorite character. im not going to let people treat it like that just bc they can't do the one thing that book was written to teach: accept change. you are changing and growing up, you can outgrow things, that doesn't make them BAD. some kid is going to love that book just as much as you loved the original pjo books. if you read that entire book and came out thinking it should have changed with you then i suggest you reread it with an open mind.

You can't expect anyone to follow your definition of maturity. Change, growth, and maturity are personal paths and all you can hope for is that someone will be willing to meet you halfway and merge your paths together. whether it be traumatic response or a genre you used to love, the questions TSATS ask and the moral it drives home are useful, you just have to understand that Rick assumed outgrowing the genre meant learning these lessons. i guess he was wrong.

crazy idea: minor issues are often overlooked if youre not too shallow to see past them.

#nico di angelo #pjo hoo toa #rick riordan #riordanverse #the sun and the star #tsats #will solace #tsats crit

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dramarising-replacement · 6 years

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get madder :^)

hey yall remember that post where i gave a 1-or-2 sentence comment about each fanart that got featured in the community update? many people promptly took their panties and corkscrewed them directly up their very touchy buttholes, so i thought it'd be fun to do a follow-up :^)

>everyone who just said "lol bad post u suck ur opinion SUX"

it's my opinion lol deal w it

>it’s kinda cute how you think we would care about this / nobody cares

clearly u do bc ur mad fam!!! hahaha rekd got u!!1!

>perhaps… perhaps art is subjective and they wanted to make some community members happy by featuring them?

they couldve picked a little better was my only point

>"It’s people like this who give new artists anxiety for posting stuff online" / everything about how mean i am bc it will make newb artists feel nerbous :'(

hey guess what! it's the internet where literally everyone can see and say whatever they want. that's the risk ya fuckin take when u post online :^) waahhh

>"It’s called a personal art style"

its common knowledge by now but "its muh style" is not an excuse and yeah its subjective but also sometimes aspects of a pic are just bad

>"how does desnik only get a 5/10 lmao. Amazing shading, a super unique and difficult perspective that brings life to the whole piece? Ye nah that’s shit, apparently."

i said the shading (painting) was pretty good, and they lose points bc "bringing it to life" with a weird pose only works if the anatomy and perspective (which i specified) isnt so off that it takes away from the entire piece pretty significantly, which imo it does. also that pose isnt unique i can find u 10 pics of furries in that exact pose on like the front page of furaffinity or wherever. also i didnt say it was shit LOL

>"“this is anime uwu garbage” is not criticism OP"

fuck yeah it is, you ever been to the front page of deviantart? i assumed the implied "stop using super stylized shitty anime pics as a reference bc ur overall "style" is severely and obviously suffering for it" was kinda evident but i guess not

>"why the fuck do people get so butthurt when someone says their art is bad"

dude THANK you i mean i was expecting pretty severe backlash but i was as least expecting more creativity than literally just "bad post op" 20 times. tho i DID see enough to make this post i guess? this blog is fun but like in a painful way

> “not to be rude to the featured artists, good on them” pick a tone and stick with it

sorry man i really just do have a rude-sounding speaking (,,typing) voice and i dont mean any bad feelings towards these artists, my literal only point is that that one pic has some problems and maybe staff had some better pics to spotlight instead (and i don't even mean that for all of them. top, middle, and bottom left were all good choices and so was desnik's tbh. but i figured id ""review"" them too cuz they were there) i usually even pointed out something i liked about it? but i gotta move fast here cmon 100 character limit

>"dude… do you even know what a sketch is? because that’s in no way a sketch"

what do YOU define as a sketch? i guess the snapper one could also be lineart but its in 2 midtones (which people do when theyre "sketching" out values) and they used a messy brush so my mind went to sketch. and the coatl one looks like they did it really fast and slapped some flat colors on it. actually my point was literally that it looks like they did it fast, like a sketch rather than a lineart

>"at least put in some effort in writing a couple of sentences on each drawing on what, why, and how to improve the drawings. Seeing that some of the art is clearly from amateur artists, some words of advice would at least be helpful here."

yeah u right they definitely deserve better. but i was going fast cuz i just have an affinity for short snappy reviews i guess. like i tried to do cliffnotes, just "this part is good but this part is bad" and then a meaningless number score cuz i aint even addressing this to them, i posted it to a drama blog to complain about staff basically

>the nocturne guy who wrote a lot

alright cool. you totally have gotten a lot better. i never meant to discourage you for drawing in the first place. incidentally i said u had potential bc u were obviously a new artist, but like u were OBVIOUSLY a new artist with a loose understanding of depth and shading and stuff, and again this is a front page spotlight yadda yadda. ill fuckin hit u with a review right now:

you clearly understand shading and anatomy way better, and that coatl actually looks pretty fuckin good. the lineart is more consistent, it's framed way better, the proportions are WAY better, and it's really clean and stylized. the shading is infinitely more convincingly shiny and reflective. from here, imo you could benefit from going further with shading (darker, more dynamic, leaving little to no flat spaces like the crest fluff and tongue), and maybe polishing the lineart a little more too, like coloring/highlighting it and really pushing/polishing the linewidth (there are tutorials for that). overall that coatl is v cute, keep on pushing poses & shading

>"i bet OPs art sucks ass"

fIT e ME IrL

anyway thanks 4 reading my fucking essay and i'm super high. if you read al lof this then shame on you

#Drama #Praise #Flight Rising #Cursing #Sarcasm #Art #Long post #Petty #submission

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vaughnwamsley · 7 years

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This is a conversation between [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton and yourself, Silent Ghost! John Laurens.

Silent Ghost! John Laurens: D: !!!!! [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Laying on the ground slowly and painfully bleeding to death* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Sits down next to him, waves hand in front of his face* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *He opened his eyes slightly and coughed* L-Laurens? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *grins and waves a little* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *looks at a wound for a second and winces*[Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Laurens...It's so nice to see you *He smiled slightly wincing in pain* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Nods, tearing up* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Points up at the sky* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *He looked up*...Looks like i'll be with you again Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Nods quickly* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *hesitates, and then mocks rocking a baby* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ...Is Philip there too? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Grins and nods. taps his temple* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Alexander gave him a confused look* Will you be able to talk up there, its hard to understand you like this Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Nods. looks over him again and pantomimes opening a pocket watch* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Alexander had closed his eyes started to slepp/die* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *stands up and waits for it* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *His breathing slowed till it eventually stopped and he died* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: ...Alexander? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Can you hear me now? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Alexander stood infront of laurens assuming he was a ghost now*......I-I can Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Grabs his shoulders, grinning wide* You sure kept me waiting, Alex. Silent Ghost! John Laurens: So long, I almost felt like- Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Uh... you know. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *He smiled hugging laurens* Sorry I took so long Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Hugs him back* Don't worry about it. Rachel kept me company. Smart woman, no wonder you turned out so well. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ..Rachel my..my moms up there too?Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Oh, yea. *hits his arm* Speaking of, she has a few choice words to say about some of your life choices. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ....shit...im in for a motherly lecture arent i? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: She's makin' up for lost time. She's good at it too- Philip got one too when he showed up. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ....Fuuck Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Wraps an arm around his shoulder* Don't worry, I'm sure as soon as she's done chewing your ear off it's gonna be sob central. She's missed you a lot. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: I've missed her too...a lot there were so many things i wanted to say before she died but i didnt get a chance to. Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Well, you aren't gonna run out of time up there. *Laughs a little* Prepare to unload 47 years of pent-up feelings. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: i dont know if im ready for all of that... Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Delaying the inevitable, eh? If you want we can just walk around here for a while. You can catch me up. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: that sounds nice... Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Let's go, then. Anywhere in particular you wanna wander towards? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ...I think, could we see eliza? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Of course. But ah, to do that... *Looks over to where they're loading Hamilton's body to row him across the river* I feel like it'd be easiest to follow /that/. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: then lets get going Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Let's go, then. *Leads him towards the boat, walking over the water like it's nothing* Uh, a little tip for ya, I suggest you don't look at yourself much. It's freaky. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: wasnt planning on doing that...*He looked at the water nervously* can i really walk on that? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Oh, yea. *stops a few feet from the shore* Probably shoulda told you you can like, fly and stuff. Cool ghost powers or somethin. Silent Ghost! John Laurens: It's hard to explain how to do it. Just... focus on not falling. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: That should be easy enough Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *raises eyebrow* Think you can handle it, smart guy? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Yeah no problem Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *turns back towards the boat, looking back at him* Let's go, then. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Hamilton walked up next to laurens* ok Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *there's a bit of silence* So, tell me more about Eliza. I got the "we're getting married it's so great. aaah I'm having a kid" part, but from what I've heard a lot's happened since then. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Yeah... [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: well, i wouldnt listen to her to take a break and ended up cheating on her with maria reynolds....things got bad, philip died...we got back together and things where getting better and now im dead Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Sounds like what I've heard. Maria's one of the topics you're mom's gonna tear you a new one about, by the way. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ..yeah i figuredSilent Ghost! John Laurens: Can't really blame her. But you know it was a dick move, so I think you're good.[Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: hopefully...either way im not going to hear the end of it Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *shrugs* I mean, we've got forever. After a while everyone'll run out of things to say about it. *grins at him* Now whether that'll be a week or a century or now I can't be sure. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Laurens I will never run out of things to say Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Can't argue with that. I've seen you write. I think you said more words just in all your essays and stuff than I did my entire life.[Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ha...yeah Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Hey, you're a passionate guy who's good with words. I admire that about you, man. I'd rather be good with a quill than a gun.[Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Hamilton sighed thinking of burr* Burr fucking sucks Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Frowned* I don't get it. We were friends, right? I wasn't just /imagining/ our five-man buddyhood, was I? What the hell happened? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Burr is just mad because i said he was a bad vice president Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Mad enough to /shoot/ you? What the hell did that even /solve/? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: I have no idea Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Shakes his head, trying to calm down* I dunno. I'm not a vengeful guy, but I think it'd serve him right to know what getting shot feels like. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ...Can i touch and move things as a ghost laurens? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *takes a deep breath to calm down a bit more* Not really, no. Some people can kinda feel when you touch them, but it doesn't feel normal. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Damn...that sucks [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: i was thinking about stealing jeffersons coat and freaking him out Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Oh my god, you're a genius. Imagine picking his cane up and smacking him on the head with it. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Ha yes, he'd freak out, or just putting his coat on and dance around infront of him Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Laughs* Imagine his /face/. Ooh, even better, get some chains and clang them together in his face while he's asleep. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: That would be hilarious...Or we could put pictures of Madison everywhere and he'd get really confused Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *elbows him* For an /old/ guy, you've still got that spunk in you. 'Sides, I bet he already has a stash of pictures of him somewhere. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Hmm...bet he has some kind of diary somewhere. we could find it and put it somewhere where madison would find it and see all that hes written Silent Ghost! John Laurens: I can only imagine what he's gotten written in there. *Puts on a bad virginian accent* Dear diary, today I was a horrible person to my slaves. I hope Madison notices I love him. Who's Martha? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: oh wait i have one *Trys to sound virginan but failing miserably* Dear Diary Hamiltons passed away and i've finnaly realised how better he was then me. I wish i couldve been honored to have the privledge of being his friend Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Dear Diary, I wish I could go back in time so I could bow down to Hamilton, who is way smarter and cooler and less racist. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ha...hmm Dear Diary, if only i couldve been more like hamilton and not be such a mega bitch who owned slaves for no good reason other then to seem cool Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Dear Diary, I sure am glad John Laurens died before I could have met him, 'cause he'd have punched me in the face and probably broken my nose.

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sweet-potatoq · 4 years

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you know what i love about 2moons2? its that they developed each and every relationship so fucking well, whether it be platonic or romantic

yo and ming have been besties for their entire lives, they know and care a lot about each other and you can SEE it throughout the series. legit ming has been so supportive of yo's crush on pha, even going out of his way to help him out like the best bro he is 😩✊🏼 and yo does the exact same thing when he finds out about mings crush on kit, like?? these two are the bestest of best friends and i love it

the doctor gang has been together for as long as ming and yo, and even though they dont seem as close as the two nongs, you can still see their love and support for each other. heck, forth went to pha to get his BLESSING to chase beam because he knows how much they care about each other. the three of them subtly push each other to be with their respective lovers and help each other when theres drama going on. theyre the type of friends who dont pry too much but know exactly when to be nosy because they just FEEL each others vibes if you know what i mean?

forth's relationship with the doc gang and the nongs is also so good because hes kind of the bridge that brought the six of them together. like, hes the senior of ming, had feelings for yo, and is friends with the gang all at the same time!!! hes the reason why everybody is so solid with each other (from the way he takes care of ming and yo — sometimes the doc gang and esp beam — to the way he makes the vibes chill between them all — except for the time he had feels for yo, that was awk with pha LOL) just UGH i love forth so much ok???

these friendships are so well portrayed by the actors because of their real-life close friendship i fucking STAN!! then we have the romantic relationships:

phayo is the classic cp that we all love, its crazy how they both had a crush on each other when they were younger, still harboured feels even when they were separated, and eventually got together when pha got out of his ass and recognized yo 🥺 theyre both so sweet to each other, expressing their love for one another, and even becoming that couple who everybody goes to for relationship advice! though i do wish we got more scenes of them going out on dates like mingkit, but their interactions are enough to show that they truly love each other than thats good enough for me 😔✊🏼

mingkit had the relationship developement we knew was gonna happen but still shook us to the very core because UGH nine and joong's acting was so good. like how at first ming ignored kit because he didnt want to be obvious i guess? and kit subtly checking ming out UGH and then ming starts talking kit up, annoying his ass with nicknames and bold flirting UGH and then kit becoming jealous of moowan and then feeling guilty about being the reason of breaking them up and then feeling worried that if he gave in to ming then he would be treated like that too UGH and then beam barging in with his confusing feelings, protecting kit from being hurt by ming when he overhears their convo at the cafe and THEN breaking mings heart by declaring him and kit as lovers UGH and then ming and kit longing to be with each other but kit is still so confused and worried and ming is also heartbroken and confused UGH and then— this has gone long enough and istg i could write a whole ass essay about their love but i made my point (i think?) and i gotta go onto forthbeam

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE BEST SHIP E VE R because forth and beam started out as good friends!!!!!!! forth cared for beam as a friend first and foremost when beam was going thru a gay struggle and only saw beam as a potential lover when they had sex!!! and then after that he wanted to care for beam even MORE as a friend AND as a lover because forth holds his heart in his hands and gives it to the person he gained feelings for to keep because once he falls, hes loyal to that person and his feelings AND I RESPECT THAT!!! they didnt need to have a reason as for why they developed feels for each other, it just happened and thats okay! even if beam denied it at first, he knew deep down he cared for forth as well and showed it when forth got hurt 🥺🥺💖

these three relationships portays three different but healthy love so well im happy that each one of them had their own special episodes and scenes to focus and develop them further 😩👌🏼👌🏼

anYwAys i just had to get this out of my system, im sorry if it doesnt make anysense or if it has already been said before but here ya fukin go!

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mugiwara--ya · 6 years

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the one time i actually think something thru before making a decision and all my past mistakes immediately come and fuck it up.

long ass post after the cut. if you read it that would be great.

on 2013, when i was about to get out of highschool, i knew i wanted to study graphic design on this one institute.

my mom during my entire life always told me she wanted me to go into a ~traditional university~ (if youre chilean you’ll understand) and that institutes or private universities were out of discussion. so i gave up about the institute.

also my mom didnt want me to end up like her (a secretary who has earned pretty much the same her entire life and is perpetually in debt) so she wanted me to study something that would give me $$$money$$$. design? yeah RIGHT, she laughed at my fucking face and said i wont pay shit for that.

so i got into international business, into a university that literally sucks dick but is supposedly “good” because its a traditional fucking university. but everybody knows it sucks dick lol. i got a scholarship that covered pretty much the entire cost of it (i was paying $40.000 clp monthly, about $64 usd) . but i hated it. i wasted two entire years on it. till one day i was trying to write a fucking essay or something and i finally snapped and said i dont wanna be here. i hate this. fuck this. im not doing this anymore. i was fucking miserable.

then i realized it was too late to register to take the test™ (a standardized test everyone who wants to get into a traditional university has to take, it’s once a year and you gotta register and even pay for it if youre taking it a second time) and my previous score wouldnt get me anywhere (spoiler: it was shit) so i thought. but hey they do design here. i can just transfer to that career internally so i dont have to take the test. im a fuckin genius. like literally i didnt really think about it for more than like. half an hour lmao

so i called my mom. ya know what she said? “I KNEW YOU WOULDNT LAST”. she knew i wasnt made for that career. she knew i fucking hated it. and she just watched me collapse without saying shit. without saying hey if you wanna change your career i wont be mad. she just waited to see how long i would take it. at the moment i was like oh thank god you aint mad. but now i look back and. just how fucking sadistic can my mom be lmfao. anyway.

same university different career. i went into design into that university without knowing how good or bad it actually was. because i didnt really have a choice (though i did. if only i wasnt scared to death about getting into an institute. actually no: about ASKING MY MOM if i could get into an institute) and i got an even better benefit: i was studying for completely fucking FREE. and hey how could you know. the career was SHIT. it made me HATE what i did. i was even more miserable than before because all my life i knew i was gonna end up on design. and i was terrible at it. i hated myself because i was studying for free and i couldnt stop fucking it up. my mental health was shit. i collapsed. i failed everything and i dropped out first year. my mom never knew. she still doesnt know i dropped out.

but hey that was because im fucking lazy and depressed right. that happened because i didnt have my meds for like a month. of course i was going to fail. so i tried again. same career same university, different year. THIS year.

same story.

except this time i was like no you know what? i’m not even that depressed anymore, i did my best, and i still cant fucking make it, i still hate what im doing but i still love design. so i asked around, i asked if the career was really that bad. turns out everyone knows its shit lmao

so i wanted to drop out- except they had already kicked me out bc i had failed too many times LMAO

this was on july this year. and i started investigating and asking around. for the first time in my entire life i started thinking about my education without thinking “what will my mom say”. because FUCK what she thinks. trying to make her happy has given me nothing but pain. ive wasted FOUR YEARS of my life trying to make her happy, going to a piece of SHIT university JUST BECAUSE ITS A ~TRADITIONAL~ ONE.

so FUCK THAT.

and guess what

im currently enrolled in graphic design. on the institute i first wanted to go. because guess what. ITS ONE OF THE BEST PLACES TO STUDY GRAPHIC DESIGN. AND I KNEW IT FROM THE BEGINNING.

so this semester ive been doing a whole bunch of nothing and classes start on march. im currently bored to death. but anyway

thing being, no one has told me yet if i’ll be able to renew my benefits. ive asked around and still, not a single social worker has been able to tell me. my previous university’s social worker first told me she would “email me” the info. never happened. i kept sending emails and going there trying to get some answers, nothing. i was told by another social worker that i should apply again just in case, though i should be renewing, so i did. today the “results” came out: i still have no fucking clue.

i dont know if ill have to bury myself in debt. i dont know if ill have to pay for it. i dont know if ill be able to renew my benefits and keep studying for free or at least for less. and its fucking me up. im stressed, im anxious, i just.

i just wanna study in peace and im so angry that ive wasted so many years learning nothing and wasting benefits on careers i didnt even want to be in just to make my mom happy. im so fucking angry at myself, and at her. the other day i told her all of this and she has the NERVE of saying “OH SO ITS ALL MY FAULT THEN?!” LIKE BITCH YES! ITS ALL, EVERYTHING, YOUR FUCKING FAULT. THESE FOUR FUCKING YEARS THESE HAVE ALL BEEN YOUR. FUCKING. FAULT.

so yeah i want to kill myself lmfao if you read till here sorry but i got nothing to give you but it means a lot. if you read this pls like this post lol

#personal #university

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