#i didnt mean to lie when i said 21 was going to be the last happy chapter for a while

[drawingsfromthefrogwar]

jaylynn and her black sweatshirt in the middle of summer my beloved

#i didnt mean to lie when i said 21 was going to be the last happy chapter for a while #i just forgot how many of you were patiently waiting for grandpa finch to die

[hopeididntscareyou]

I went out with Alex today and it was really nice we went up a hill to see a good look of the whole town and talked for hours but before that we basically spent the day on a roadtrip and ate some korean bbq which he had for the first time. We talked so much stuff and I actually had a good time, its not like when I'm with Eric i feel uncomfortable as fuck he makes me fucking uncomfortable with all these fucking bizarre and clingy behavior. He even literally waited for me outside work last night thats some fucking stalker vibe shit right there but whatever i'll deal with him later.

Anyways, since I was talking about relationships with Alex i wanted to be honest that as an adult (i didnt want to consider my dating when i was under 21) I haven't really felt like genuinely caring for another person and feeling this special connection with people except for Donovan who was a different case and i wasnt even sure if i was just being delusional about the whole thing but talking about him made me realized maybe I still haven't really moved on, which is sad because it's almost a year and I just wish I didn't have to feel so sad about it. I dated around after Donovan but i just couldn't share with other people the same connection I had with him. i don't know if he's a psychopath or it some manipulative shit but whenever I was feeling upset he just had a way with his words that made me feel better its like he could read my mind and tell me exactly what I wanted to hear. Its that or maybe we share the same brain cell lol.. Well past is past and to be completely honest, I dont want to and I am not dwelling on why it didnt work out, but the reason i can't forget about him is prob because I talked to him about a lot of stuff that were important to me so I'd sometimes get reminded of some particular topic that we talked about and I would try to remember what I said so i would go reread them and it just pains me everytime because I never get to have those kinds of conversations with people anymore. I wished I didn't save all our conversations so I wouldn't have memories of them, but I just couldn't delete them. I mean I deleted his contact information but I just couldn't delete our conversations because they were really special to me. Not gonna lie I wish we'd talk again someday just as friends who could relate with each other and have interesting conversations with. Yes it didn't really work out between us but I don't hate him, I never did. He was a good influence in my life and I will always speak good about him regardless of how it ended. I know it sounds selfish because at this point im more focused on my own perspective than considering his perspective, but his point of view is just outside my sphere, i don't have access to it and its something i think i shouldnt be assuming or judging. Actually i had legitimate reasons why I felt the way I was, cause any woman would just feel insecure if they were in my position and its just up to them how they would deal with it. I guess i didn't deal with it in a healthy and mature manner and i had no excuse for that, but whatever the truth was, i dont know, but what matters to me now is that I did actually felt cared for and appreciated at that time, he was a good friend and a good influence so thats what im choosing to remember. I'm grateful because I've learned so much from my experience with him and after him. I've learned about myself a lot and i actually start putting an effort to be a better me and become a healthier person mentally, have a good routine and all that. Not for him mainly but for myself. Fuck, i've been actually crying while im typing cause its just makes me sad.

Honestly I don't think I would ever feel the same for another person again and I don't want to because I distanced myself from people emotionally ever since that happened. Also its just rare for me to meet people in general who are kinda like me, like there are just something different about them besides introversion its more about sharing the same core values and the nerdiest hobbies its really important to me, i like people who has their own brain but isnt like a know it all, people who think the way i do and hes just that kind of person, atleast thats how i thought of him and liked about him. Its really rare for me to meet someone like that. All the physical stuff like sex and looks would eventually fade away when you grow old and weak but good quality conversations dont, if i wouldnt be able to resonate with my partner then i knew i wouldnt feel the connection im looking for which is important to me. Its either I liked talking about myself or I enjoy listening to them more than me talking, but its different when i enjoy both and that really doesnt happen a lot. The only other people besides Donovan would probably Patrick, Paul and my bestfriend but honestly i slept on my bestfriend all the time lmaoo. Sometimes im too apathetic and neutral to care about other people's lives 'cause they just don't seem to picque my interest enough so i honestly dont really care that much. BUT YEAA I'll stop talking now cause i dont want this turn into a huge narcissism galore

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to write here anyway no one reads it lol! but yea im posting this for Isa because she’s probably the only one who still cares about this story lmao ILYSM!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil this. theyll be added in the next chapter and probably at the END of the chapter lol

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 36 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 7th, 2018

I fell asleep on the bed as soon as we got done with diner. I finally had a day off and an other one the next day but I had been working non-stop for 6 days until late at night (or early in the morning) and I was exhausted.  I shivered and woke up slowly, feelings my lips curl at Niall's touch. His fingertips were brushing up and down my arm, making goosebumps appeared on my skin, and I let out a low whimper.

"I missed you. How long have I been sleeping?" I asked in a mumble, forcing myself to open my eyes.

"You've been asleep for two hours." he pointed out before chuckling.

"I don't care." I let out with a childish voice. "I missed you anyway."

I squirmed a bit and ended up with my head on his lap. My lips curled into a smile when I felt his fingers slip in my hair and I breathed in, inhaling his scent and his expensive perfume.

I knew I was already fucked. I knew it was over for me and that if Niall and I broke up again at some point, it would kill me. At this point, being official or not didn't change anything anymore. I remembered back then, before I dated him, I always tried to suppress my feelings for him, I always managed to put a wall in front of them to hide them from everyone and especially myself. Right after One Direction's last tour, the walls collapsed and crashed, exposing my feelings to practically everyone, and at that time, it shocked me how much I loved him, how deep, real and intense my feelings were. They grew even more when we dated and remained stronger than ever for so long after he broke up with me. I was there with him now, my walls completely wrecked, and it made me realize that I had put my walls back in front of my feelings when I started dating Dylan but that wall was not that strong and Niall easily tore it apart without even knowing it. I was tired. I was exhausted to keep that wall there. Perhaps I had even helped him taking each brick off, one by one. Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a team work.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight."

I groaned and wiggled a bit to press my face on his stomach, making him chuckle. "I'm tired."

"I know, but Louis says he misses you." he pointed out, making me groan again. "Come on, I'll buy you a few drinks."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering if I should go or not. I was pretty sure it would be fun but at the same time, spending time in bed, cuddling with the man I loved seemed even better. I moved a bit to lay on my back and look up at him. He was the only person in the world who looked good from this angle.

"Are you gonna stay with me the whole time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You'll hold my hand under the table?" I added, staring at him and making him smile.

"I will."

"You're gonna dance with me whenever I ask you to?"

"Baby, we're not going in a club." he pointed out. It made my eyebrows raise up more and my lips part. "Fine, yes, I'll dance with you whenever you ask me."

My facial expression turned into a happy and satisfied one and I quickly got up, reaching for his closet.

"We have a deal, then!" I just said, trying to find something decent to wear before deciding on a pair of jeans and a band shirt (not a One Direction one, this time). It took me about 20 minutes to put make up on and when I joined Niall in the living room, I tilted my head as he got up.

"You look so good." I pointed out, moving closing and putting both my hands on his chest, my palms pressed on his blue dress shirt. "You're so classy and here i am, wearing jeans and a shirt."

He laughed a bit, moving his chin up slightly. "You want me to get changed?"

"No, I want you to get naked."

He laughed. "That's not happening. Louis is waiting and you know damn well he can show up just to annoy us." he explained with a smirk as I chuckled. "Tube?"

"Cab?" I argued, raising my nose up.

I didn't want our pictures taken, I didn't want to meet people, or get caught by paps. All I wanted was a nice evening with my friends and mostly, with Niall. He moved his arms around my waist, intertwining his fingers on my back and nodded slowly before sighing.

"Anything you want."

I smiled at him and moved closer to kiss his lips. He tasted good and I felt his hands move up on my back before smiling against his lips. If he changed his mind and asked me to stay home, I definitely wouldn't be against it. Unfortunately, we ended up at the bar quite quickly and after a while, I just stared at my glass, lost in my thoughts, before Louis leaned closer to me.

"'Dans la lune'?" I smiled and looked up, meeting his blue eyes. His lips curled too and he raised his eyebrows. "I've been practicing. How's my accent?"

"Almost as bad as Niall's." I just said, laughing when I saw him frown as his lips parted in shock.

"Hey, wait!" I heard, turning to Niall who was frowning too, clearly insulted. "I'm very good at that!"

"Honestly, no you're not." I admitted, raising my nose up and shrugging. "I'm sorry but you both suck at it."

"Well, you know what I'm good at?" Louis asked, getting up. "Paying beer for everyone."

He left and I turned to Niall, frowning a bit when he was looking away. I followed his eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he was looking at a girl, sitting afar at a table. I took the time to look at her and bit my bottom lip before sighing. I couldn't be jealous, not now, and I couldn't pretend the girl was not beautiful. Still, it did hurt me and at the same time, it was ridiculous to expect him to never find an other girl pretty in his whole life.

"What are you looking at?" I asked low, getting his attention back.

His eyes roamed on my face and he blinked a few times. "Oh, no one."

"I didn't ask 'who', I asked 'what'..." I pointed out, licking my lips. "You were looking at that girl? She's pretty."

It was a lie. She was more than that, but it was too hard to admit.

"Yea, not bad." he replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Look, I know you think she's sexy, don't lie to me."

He sighed and reached for my hand under the table, making the left corner of my lips raise up. It was hard to be mad, or feel sad, when Niall was looking at me like that and I just tilted my head, staring right back at him. It didn't matter if he found other girls pretty, all that mattered was that he loved me, and that he wouldn't go back to his old habits.

"Okay, she's hot. But you're sexier." he bent closer to kiss me and I held my breath before he moved back slowly, remembering we weren't supposed to tell anyone that we were sort of seeing each other. He looked away, but not in the direction of the girl, and I just licked my lips as I watched him grab his beer and take a sip of it.

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome?"

He choked slightly and swallowed hard before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The sight was endearing and I chuckled.

"What?"

"I don't know, I was just saying." I proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making his eyes open slightly more.

"Would you be willing?"

I let my eyes move on his face and started questioning myself. I had no idea if I was and somehow, I felt like our relationship, whatever it was, was still very fragile at that point. Not our love, of course, that was strong, but the trust I had for him was still shaky and it scared me.

"I had a threesome before and it ruined the relationship I had with one of the girls. I think it's the main reason why me and her broke up."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "Yea me too. Although I was pretty hammered I can definitely say it didn't help our couple, or whatever it was that we had." he paused and looked down before looking up in my eyes. "But we could make rules."

"Rules? Like what?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

I stared at him again and I suddenly wished I never proposed that. I glanced at the girl on the other side of the room and felt something stir inside me. Yes, I was more confident about my body, but at the same time, I knew the bodies Niall was normally attracted to had nothing in common with mine.

"You.. can't kiss her. Or get your dick inside her." I pointed out, licking my lips nervously. "I don't want her to touch you, or-"

"Okay!" he laughed, shaking his head. "It'll be faster if you tell me what I'm allowed to do instead."

I groaned low and grimaced but I felt a bit better when he squeezed my hand again. I felt ridiculous for that feeling and I was wondering if it was my self-confidence that was getting low again, or simply the fact that it would hurt me to see the man I love making out naked with an other girl. I had seen Niall with other girls often in my life, and it has hurt me enough in the past, didn't it?

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to." he shrugged with a fond smile. "It's just a discussion for now. I mean, you know it's you I love, right?"

"Put yourself in my shoes, Niall." I tried to explain. "I mean we could have a threesome with a man."

"I'm not.. so sure." he replied with a frown.

"See?" I pointed out a bit louder, leaning against my chair and making him roll his eyes, amused.

"It's different, I'm not into men, but you're into women."

"But that's not what it's about." I explained a bit lower, tilting my head. "It's about us, and the feelings we have for each other. I've shared you so often before. I even lost you a few times. What if it happens again this time?" I sighed and shook my head. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, hey." he whispered, moving closer to me and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Don't stress over something so futile okay? I'd be totally fine watching you have sex with an other girl while I just sit close on a chair and jerk off f like a fuckin’ loser."

This time, I laughed and I just had time to see his lips curl into a smile before I tapped on the front of his cap, making it move down over his eyes. He placed it back and I noticed his eyes were shining. I tilted my head and my lips parted but just as I was about to say something, he kept talking.

"And yes, it would piss me off to see you get fucked by an other man." His gaze dropped to my shirt and moved up to my eyes again. "I'd probably throw him out."

I laughed again, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. He smelled so good, he look beautiful and he was so close... All I could think about was grab his shirt with both hands and pull him close to feel his lips crash against mine. With all the strength in me, I got up and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"I'll be right back."

Quickly, I walked to the lady's room and leaned both hands against the counter, letting my head fall down slightly and closing my eyes. It was so tough to stay away from him all the time and it was starting to drive me insane. Of course, I didn't want our relationship out in the open but if our friends knew, it would make things a lot easier. I was so sure it was the right thing to do a few weeks ago but now, my certainty was faltering. It was harder and harder as the days went by and even if it was just to protect me at first, I knew it was useless now. I loved Niall. I always would. And being official or not wouldn't stop me from hurting if he decided to leave again.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone in my pocket, moved my shirt up and bougfht my phone up too, to snap a picture. I quickly sent it to him before unclasping my bra and moving it up, taking an other picture. I sent it too just as I was getting a message from him.

'Fuck petal show me more'

My lips curled at his words and It only took a few seconds to get a second one.

'I want to suck on your tits so bad pet'

I swallowed hard and felt my whole body throb as I typed an answer. 'Do it now, then.'

I leaned against the counter and waited but when the door opened, I felt my heart jump in my chest, hoping it was not someone else. I sighed when I saw it was him and his eyes roamed on me for a few seconds. He turned around and locked the door, making me chuckle and I held myself back on the counter with my two hands.

"I hope we don't get caught."

"I don't care." he replied, making me smile more.

He took a few steps closer and even If I should have expected it, I held my breath when he bent down quickly. His lips wrapped around one of my nipples and I felt my legs tense as a short whimper got out of my throat. I felt his tongue flick on it before he sucked on it gently and when he moved to my other one, I glanced down only to see how hard the first one was. I remained motionless, my eyes half-closed, as his mouth, lips and tongue focused on my tits and after a while, my lips parted, my eyes closed completely and I let my head fall back on my shoulders slightly.

He stopped and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up on the counter and when he moved between my legs, I felt my heart jump in my chest. His lips found mine and his hands reached my breasts as he kissed me deeply. He had moved his cap around and I just reached it to take it off, leaving it on the wet counter and slipping my fingers in his hair.

"Why didn't you wear a skirt, lover, it would have been easier to fuck you."

The sweet nickname made me smile against his mouth. I loved how impatient he was and I could feel his hard cock press on one of my thighs. He rubbed himself gently against me and I moaned again in his mouth before pulling away and licking my lips. I pushed on his chest gently and got off the counter before taking a step back as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans quickly. He stared at me, his gaze moving from my hands to my face and back to my hands as I pushed my pants and panties down to my knees and raised my eyebrows.

"I can bend down for you."

He walked up to me, turned me around and pushed me against the wall. I held my breath as his hand moved between my thighs to reach my pussy and he groaned, grabbing my waist and pulling it closer to him before spanking me one time but hard. I pressed my palms on the wall and closed my eyes when I felt the tip of his cock press on my walls and let out a curse word when it slipped inside me. My fingers curled and my short nails scratched against the wall as he started fucking me hard and fast. His hands found my breasts again and he grabbed them hard as a balance to fuck me deeper.

I was happy both of us hadn't drank too much and when he leaned against my back, I felt his lips brushing near my shoulder as he grunted.

"No one turns me on like you." he let out, making me hold my breath again. "No one makes me cum like you."

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed down on my back, holding me there with a hand on one of my shoulders as he spanked me again a few times. I could feel myself throb around his cock as he remained still and when his other hand reached for my other shoulder. I bent down more, making sure I was far enough from the wall, knowing he was about to go harder.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

He started fucking me so hard I had to put my own hand over my mouth to make sure I wouldn't moan too loud and I felt myself reach an orgasm as he fucked me deep. I shook against him for a few seconds and he groaned, waiting until I relaxed a bit to pull out and jerk off quickly. It took only a few seconds before I heard him groan louder, the tip of his cock rubbing against my ass, and my eyes fluttered close when I felt him push himself back inside me, fucking me for half a minute before his thrusts faltered.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry." he apologized as I moved up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his cock brush against my ass. "I came all over you. And then inside you."

The thought made me shiver and he ran his hands on my breasts before pulling on my shirt to cover them. He took a step back and I saw him tuck his dick back in his pants as I turned around. I moved my panties and pants up and then worked on my bra when we heard someone push on the door. I held my breath and my eyes got bigger but Niall just chuckled.

"Liv? It's El!"

Without hesitation, Niall unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Eleanor speechless. I had to admit it was worth it and I laughed a bit.

"Uhm when you two are... well, done, I guess? There's shots waiting for you..." she grimaced and shook her head. "Okay. Bye. Gross."

I laughed and walked up to Niall, getting on my tiptoe to kiss him. "Now she knows." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm sure she won't tell." Niall tried to reassure me as I chuckled.

"Yea, like she'll keep that from Louis!"

We both laughed and shook our heads and I finally went back to grab his cap on the counter before we walked back to the table. It was useless to pretend we weren't together or anything. At that point, I knew we were fucked and that everyone probably knew about us.

"Finally!" Louis said when he saw us before pushing shots closer to us. He waited until everyone had one and he moved it up over his head to make a toast. "To Neil and Olivia, who literally can't keep their pants on when they're around each other!"

Everyone laughed and I kicked him under the table. It only resulted in him laughing and smirking at me but we all drank and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. Fuck it, why should I care if my friends knew?

                                                     ---

"I want to write a song about that." Niall said as we walked in his house.

I let my purse fall on the floor and walked slowly to the bathroom to take off my make up. "Write a song about what?"

He walked up to me and leaned against the door frame, just looking at me as I washed my face and it reminded me of that time I was too sick to do it myself and he had done it for me. It made something stir in my stomach and I sent him a fond smile in the mirror.

"A song about sex with you." he explained, pushing his hands in his pockets as I chuckled.

"Make it more general, maybe? And don't use my name!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it's only when I saw the date that I frowned. Today was april 7th (now 8th), and I was sure I had something planned on the 6th. When I remembered, I felt my heart jump in my throat and held myself against the counter.

"Liv, hey, are you okay?"

Niall was close to me, I could feel the heath of his body against mine and his hand on my back and I swallowed hard before moving my body back up and turning to him, blinking a few times as he frowned. Could I really tell him that? Would I have the guts to say it out loud?

"Niall, I'm late."

He frowned for a second and then he understood. His lips parted and an expression appeared on his face. It looked like fear.

"It's... it's stress, right? You're on birth control?" he seemed panicked and I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly extremely guilty.

"Yea but those pills aren't a hundred percent safe." I pointed out, shaking my head before my traits softened. "No it's probably just stress, I've been working a lot and not sleeping much..."

He nodded and searched for his phone in his pocket before dialing a number quickly. I frowned and walked closer to him, wanting to ask him who he was calling but I didn't dare. He turned to me and showed me his forefinger, telling me to give him a minute and he left. I leaned against the counter again, head down between my shoulders, and felt myself tear up. I had been through so many things recently and I was exhausted. Adding a pregnancy to my life was not a good thing at the moment and I was also scared it would break something between Niall and I, and I was not ready to lose him.

He came back and wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and he sent me a loving smile that I sent back.

"I called the drug store. They're sending us a few tests. We'll be fixed tonight."

I felt relieved but also nervous and when the doorbell rang, we argued on who was going to answer. He won and I waited for him to come back, sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. He sat next to me and took a box out, handling it to me. I just stared at it for a few seconds until he pushed the side of his upper body gently against mine.

"Petal, it's okay. If you're pregnant, we'll adjust."

"It's gonna ruin what we have." I let out in a whisper.

In half a second, he was kneeling in front of me, searching for my eyes and when our gazes met, he raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing will ruin what we have anymore. Nothing. I won't let anything bring us apart. I want to be with you, Olivia. Okay, kids weren't planned before a few years but if you're pregnant, like I said, we'll make the best of it." he paused and sighed, noticing I was still nervous and he licked his lips. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world. More than anyone I ever loved, or will ever love. You know it." I admitted, feeling my voice break slightly.

"I love you too. I'm in love with you." he stopped talking and handed me the box. "You can do this."

I was shaking when I got out of the bathroom and quickly put the stick in his hands. I was near tears, and I had been for about an hour, but I was not really sure why. His words should have made me feel better and they did, but somehow, I still felt extremely vulnerable and fragile and I was not sure why.

"Please, look at it for me, I can't do this."

I turned around, my back now facing him, and let a few tears fall before wiping them quickly. It felt like an other hour had passed and I finally turned around and sighed.

"So? Niall? Is it positive?"

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #sorry it took me so long to update

[noahhernandez]

2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it

I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.

2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o

the same ! 

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k

One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me. 

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them

I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th

For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol. 

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition 

That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol. 

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight

I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago. 

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol

Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit. 

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great

I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.

When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing

Just awkward and nothing to which I expected. 

14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it

Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too 

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow

I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it. 

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness. 

I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time 

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head

Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library. 

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now

When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.

20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol

One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.

Literally anyone on grindr.

22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck

Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so.  IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot. 

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)

One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level

I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me. 

25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds. 

Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying. 

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV

I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>??? 

I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol

28:Talk about your fetishes. none

yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of. 

29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward. 

30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by

that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes 

31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho

um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it. 

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot

My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :( 

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u

I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful. 

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life

I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away 

I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes. 

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating 

I would say idk eating was a stupid answer. 

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never

I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa idk anything else

um Idk. i rly cant think  39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that

That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school).  40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start

When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart. 

#personal

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E6

quarantine diaries: may 28 2020

season 2 episode 6: “Fog of War”

thats a nice map clarke. but how does she remember this much information about the mount weather cuz she wasnt even there that long. does clarke have photographic memory??

yeah clarke. i wouldnt know what to say to finn either. but look at prettyboy bellamy trying to defend finn. like he shouldnt because what finn did was absolutely terrible but good for him. stay loyal my dood

enter finn looking real jealous of bellamy. i mean he should be. cuz lets all be honest. no one can compare to prettyboy bellamy

fuck off murphy. why is murphy pretending that he just part of the gang now? and why he gotta joke about my boy monty like that??? do not apply salt to my wounds. other people may like you but bygones are not bygones just yet. i remember what you did. but also i cant believed that they actually pardoned finn? is he seriously not gonna get punished?! 

mount weather crashed the exodus ship?! sooooo question for y’all: did mount weather also sabotage the landing of the 100?? like they were meant to land on mount weather but they didn’t. is this ever clarified later in the show??

mom saying that clarke isnt a soldier and yet she sent clarke down here. knowing there was a good chance she would die. bitch. you dont even know. abby youre little girl has killed in cold blood before. but i guess these two are not ready for that conversation yet.

“assimilate them to the gene pool” bc ofc these people didnt just take in these kids out of the goodness of their hearts. these people are sick...

also i know that dante is playing the good guy in this situation saying that he wont put the kids in cages like animals but is willing to just that to grounders? what kind of message are you sending here buddy??

side note: does anyone else think that dante’s son looks like a Jim carrey wannabe

again jaha and kane. what are the odds? who would have thought? not me. my crack ship is not done yet

yeah the louder and the more you shout you come in peace kane the more i believe it. 

you can’t be friends with everyone jaha. dont you remeber the last time you trusted be they sold you.

18. 18. 18 people were killed. FINN. FINN. FINN. there do need to be some repercussions

maya and jasper look like they could be siblings. both pale. both dark hair.

why does finn have a gun?? yes finn they need to keep an eye on you. what do you think youre going to do? i think youre gonna shoot people finn. thank you for putting the gun down. 

umm i dont think that it was accident. like i get that youre mentally unstable dude but 18 people? thats a big ‘accident’ id just prefer if you owned up to it.

ofc the acid fog comes now. the fricking art room..... the dead body is still there isnt it

ofc one of the guards die just to be more dramatic 

damn they really should have cleaned up the dead body. plus it must stink. and yet there is finn with that face saying ‘don’t look at my past sins clarke’ as he runs to cover the body

youre telling me that tents really protect against the acid fog it looks as thin as a person’s shirt. 

yeah finn you are the enemy. ‘you don’t look at me the way you used to.’ yah bro you killed 18 people but you dont see that bothered by it. also i know honest is the best policy but telling clarke the honest truth of how you got her watch back may not have been the best move.

“come on they gave us cake”-jasper trying to convince the others to donate their blood (21:15) this is the strongest argument i have ever heard in my life.

monty keeping his priorities straight. i stan! and i just love how done he is with maya. i straight up laughed when she came in with that notebook!!! are they making maya a good character now??

“because the standard treament sucks compared to you.”-maya trying to flirt with jasper lol

big yikes when maya revealed the grounders. ‘everyone knows but no one talks about it’ waht? i shouldnt be surprised tho considering all the shit that goes on in america that everyone know thats going on but doesnt talk about because it makes certain people feel uncomfortable

“die” - monty (23:35) YES MONTY YES MONTY. monty is officially my favorite character! 

the fog is a weapon. did not expect that. 

oooh no. carol of bells. indeed. as in bellamy “bells” coming in to be a badass.

its your boy lincoln!! and he does not look good. what are you doing octavia? you still want licoln after you just saw him feast on a human? this girl need to have higher standards.

side note: so reapers are basically modern zombies and if they have zombies in this show they can have vampires. so i stand by what i said before. these mountain people are just modern vampires literally sucking the blood and life out these poor 47 kids. and just when we thought they caught a break with all the cake

honestly im surprised that kane is still good. i thought that he was gonna turn evil. also these grounders have it wrong. at least during the fight between wells and murphy bellamy gave wells a knife to have a fair fight

preston burke becoming a doctor again!! cue grey’s anatomy theme song

seriously what is lexa doing here….oooh theyre smarter than i thought. we love female leaders. she be out here being sly. though not going to lie i still prefer anya.

alternatives for Octavia calling for lincoln **lincoln dear come hither** or **hey demon lincoln its yah girl octavia** 

‘neither do i’ awww finn. i feel sad for you but at the same time. you killed 18 people. i reaaaally dont know how the writers are going to redeem finns character. 

jaspers face tho when dante turned his back was like bitch you dont know whats coming to you.

yikes when dante grabbed his sons neck. but also his name is cage. ironic because mount weather is a cage

did raven just say to finn to suck it up? ummmmmmmmmmmm

JAHA!! 

#the 100 #the 100 diaries #bellamy #clarke #finn #raven #octavia #lincoln #jaha #kane #abby #jasper #monty #monty is king

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 3

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Sorry I always post at night! I usually take the day to type and then release it at night. Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Warnings! pregnancy.

Part 1, Part 2

Word Count: 1.9k

For the past week, you’ve been trying to figure out ways of telling the vlog squad that you’re pregnant… Would it be easier just to tell everyone at one or do one/two people at a time? UGH WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT. You have to tell them asap because you’ll be able to know the gender in a month and you want them to be there. You decide to do something different for every couple of people in the squad but before you do, it’s time for your first ultrasound!

The last time you got this done, you were 9-10 weeks pregnant, so you were LATE finding out you were pregnant. You wanted to find the best doctor you can find and luckily, Kylie set you up with the same one she had. You brought Stass and Kylie to the appointment because they begged you. Doctor: *walks in* Hey y/n how are you feeling? Y/n: I don’t feel as sick anymore but I’ve been feeling really full lately. I didn’t think my stomach would pop out so early. I was thinking maybe it’s because I’m a small and short? Doctor: ‘maybe. Layback and let me take a look” she put the cold jelly on your stomach and starts looking around with the doppler. She finds the baby and you see it wiggling around. Kylie & Stass: “You’re giving us major baby fever rn.” The doctor turns on the heart monitor and you hear a strong heart beat. To you, it sounds normal, but to the doctor, she hears something else. She moves the doppler some more and she sees something. Doctor: “umm miss, how thorough was the ultrasound you had in the ER?” Y/n: “I don’t know, they had a lot of people and they did it a little quick? Why do you ask?” She moves the doppler to what she saw and you see another blob appear. Doctor: “if they would’ve been more thorough and taken time, they would’ve told you that you’re having twins. You, Kylie & Stass: “TWINS???!?!?!!!” Doctor: “Yes. It seemed to be that baby B was hiding behind baby A.” None of you had words. You were having twins… TWO KIDS. You felt like you were having the biggest fever dream of your life but you knew this was real. You already told your family you were pregnant but know you gotta tell them that you’re having TWO? Oh hell no. Doctor: “do you want picture?” Y/n: “uhhhh, sure?” You all walked out of the appointment speechless. Kylie: “well that happened.”

*A few days later*

I took you a couple of days to process that you’re eating for 3. You wanted to do something simple cause you didnt wanna stress yourself out anymore than you already are.

David, Jason & Josh:

(Remember when Erin pranked David and Josh that she was pregnant but it was really an ovarian cyst? It’s gonna be set up like that.)

You asked them to come with you and film in your tesla so you can film a car mukbang. You had the pregnancy test with the old ultrasound picture with only one baby in the glove compartment and you had the one that shows the twins in your pocket. Y/n: *filming a mukbang* “Hey guys! I have David, Josh and Jason here with me, say hi.”  All three of them: “Hi!!!” Y/n: “Since I had no other ideas this week, my last resort was this. So have fun watching us stuff our faces with food.” You drove to Chick-Fil-A, in n out and jack in the box. Once you got everything, You parked in a parking lot, but before you start, you asked David to get you some “napkins” that were in your glove compartment and you saw his eyes go wide. David: “Shut the fuck up.” Jason and Josh are in the backseat all confused and David shows them. Jason: “No you’re not.” You’re just sitting there all nervous/ laughing and all you can say is “yes I am.” David is crying cause he loves babies, Jason & Josh are congratulating you. David: “Who’s the dad?” Y/n: “He’s not in the picture.” They all look at you with sad eyes. Jason: “we’ll be here to help with everything at anytime.” Your hormonal ass is getting the best of you and you try to hold back the tears. Y/n: “oh! One more thing. That was the first ultrasound from 3-4 weeks ago, this one was from a couple of days ago” They all see the two blobs. All three boys: “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOU’RE HAVING TWINS?.” David: “Can I plan the gender reveal party?? Y/N: “Sorry, Kylie already called dibs.” David: “You told Kylie before us? Wow that’s cold.” Y/n: “Oh shut up. She was my only friend my age that has a baby. I had to get advice.” David: “ To make it up to me, If one of them is a boy, can you please name it David Jr.” Y/n: “Yes…. for 250k.” Jason: “Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him… cause it would probably be sponsored by seatgeek.” David: *looks to the camera* “You heard it yourself people. If she has a boy, she’ll name it David Jr. for 250k. “ Y/n: “Damn now I’m kinda scared”

NEXT DAY, Corinna & Mariah:

Okay so that went well, I gonna do a 2 truths, 1 lie with Corinna & Mariah. They’re gonna be playing on the same team, so it’s 2 against 1, well 2 against 3 lol. After about 3 rounds, it was a tie (I lied on other ones so we can tie.) Y/N: “Okay so my first one is that I broke my leg when I was 15, 2. I hate Corinna’s dog and 3. I’m pregnant. Mariah: “Oh what the fuck….. Ummm.” Corinna: “Wait, you hate Carl?!” Y/n: “Just answer the question.” Mariah & Corinna: “The lie has to be that you’re pregnant.” Y/n: “the lie is that I hate Carl.” It took them a minute to understand what I said. Mariah: ‘YOU’RE FUCKING PREGNANT.” Corinna: “OH MY GOD NO WAAAY.” Y/n: “Oh and one more thing! “Shows them the twin ultrasound.” Mariah & Corinna: ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING.” Corinna: “Are they Jeff’s?” Y/n: “Is it that obvious?” Mariah: “Kind of. The boys haven’t noticed because they’re idiots.”

NEXT DAY: Kristen, Scotty, Todd, Zane, Heath & Matt:

(I made this a big collab cause I was running out of ways to tell people)

So for this reveal, I asked the six of them to send in their silly baby/kid pictures so we can react to them. The last pic will be of the twin ultrasound. Y/n: *filming* “Hey guys! I’m here with Kristen, Scotty, Todd, Zane, Heath & Matt, say hi.” All 6 of them: “Hi!!!” Y/n: “This week, we’ll be reacting to our childhood photos and maybe roast them.” All of the pictures were so 90s. Kristen with the classic ruffled poofy dresses, Matt looking like a nerdy kid, Zane holding Hidaya when she was born, 7 year old Scotty singing into a hair brush…. And then the final picture, my twin ultrasound. Everybody was so confused. Zane: “Did someone eat their twin in the womb? cause aint none of us a twin.” And then someone finally noticed. Matt: “Y/n why is your name at the corner of that ultrasound?” Kristen: “NO YOU’RE NOT.” Heath: “OOOO BITCH SHE GONNA HAVE 2 LITTLE COFFEE BEANS.” Scotty and Todd are just speechless. You’re wondering if Todd knew about you and Jeff because he’s his best friend…

You pulled aside Kristen and told her Everything. The only people you can trust with who the dad is are the girls. Kristen: “Are you gonna tell him?” Y/n: “No… He doesn’t treat me right. If he’s never treated me right, how is he gonna treat these babies?”

Todd & Jeff on a hike:

Todd: “Hey, did you hear that Y/n is pregnant?” Jeff: “whoa no I didn’t. Who told you that?” Todd: “y/n did. She revealed it in a collab she was doing with others. She’s having twins.” Jeff: “Jesus Christ, twins? That’s gonna be terrible.” Todd: “She must’ve forgot to tell you. Maybe pregnancy brain really is a thing.” Jeff’s thoughts: “I knew that bitch was sleeping with other people. There’s no way those babies are mine. She had no right trying to get mad at me cause I’d ghost her. Thank god I’m with Natalie. She’s like no one I’ve ever dated before.”

Hanging out with Kylie & Stass:

I told all of the vlog squad. Stass: “Did you tell Jeff?” Y/n: “No, but Olivia told me that Todd told him. I think Jeff is too dumb to connect the dots. He won’t figure it out.” Kylie: “Are you sure you don’t want to tell him? You’re having twins and one baby is already a lot but two? You need the help. You know what, I can hire nannies for you.” Y/n: “What? No, you don’t have to do that. I don’t wanna spend your money.” Kylie: “It’s not like I’m running out. You do remember that I’m a billionaire, right?” Stass & Y/n: “How could we forget lol.”

David, Jason & Josh POV

David: “It sucks that y/n is gonna be a single mom. It’s gonna be a lot; 2 babies and she’s in her last year of college. I hope she’ll be okay.” Jason: “She’ll be fine. She has all of us to look out for her.” Josh: “I have my own kid to watch, so I’ll probably not be as much help.” David: “She has been one of the best friends I’ve ever had. We met on vine in 2015, we met up here in LA and then the rest was history. She was really there for me when Liza and I broke up. She was my shoulder to cry on. Honestly, I’d do anything for her.” Jason: “Do you have a thing for y/n?” David stayed silent. Josh: “I’m not sure if it’d be the right time to try to win her over. She has a lot going on.” David: “It’s getting pretty late, y’all should be heading home. Jason: “Yeah. I have to pick up Charlie and Wyatt early tomorrow. Josh: “The wife doesn’t like that I stay out late, goodnight.”

David thinking to himself:

I’ve had a thing for y/n for a while now but I don’t know. It’s obvious that she had a thing with Jeff. Because of those 2 fights they had in my backyard, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jeff was the father. I was mad at how Jeff spoke about her. She not like that at all! I mean, it’s not wrong if she were but no one should ever talk to a women like that. I’ll help her as much as possible; I’m not opposed if anything were to spark between us along the way…

Back to Y/n, Kylie & Stass:

Kylie: “When’s your next appointment?” Y/n: “2-3 weeks, why?” Kylie: “Cause by that time, WE CAN FIND OUT THE GENDER OF THE BABIES!” Stass: “She’s obviously gonna go all out. Did you see Stormi’s first birthday? I swear it looked bigger than a sweet 16.” Y/n: “Oh boy… or girl…”

------------------------

We get to find out the genders in the next chapter!! She’ll be like 16 weeks by then… I’m excited! I’ve already decided what both are gonna be… There’s gonna be some surprises! Oh and David has a thing for y/n? Ooooo girl the Tea is HOT. I also just realized the date of the video I picked when y/n and Jeff diddled (yes I said diddled).... The date on the video says 7/20…. That means the twins are due 4/20……. I swear I didn’t plan that lmao.

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @1-800-juniper @iminlovewithenchilidadas @ilsolee

#jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek imagines #jeff wittek x reader #jeff wittek fanfic #jeff wittek fanfiction #jeff wittek smut #jeff wittek blurb #jeff wittek fluff #jeff wittek angst #vlog squad #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad imagines #the vlog squad #the vlog squad imagine #david dobrik #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines #zane hijazi #todd smith #toddy smith #scott sire #scotty sire #heath hussar #carly incontro #erin gilfoy #liza koshy #corinna kopf

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 21

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SO VERY SLEEPY BUT THE UPDATE SCHEDULE TAKES NO PRISONERS (FOR THE MOMENT):

“So it’s true,” she wheezed between grit fangs—“that bitch really does have you on a leash.”

KINKY,

me: okay lemme refresh on what happened last chapter-- me: /remembers me: oh yeah! yeah that SUCKED,

lets us continue on the journey of deep and immense sadness with glynda ‘clown shoes’ goodwitch!!!!!!!! here we go here we go

It took a while to pry back the jaws of her soul and wrench herself out of them.

ooh i rly like the context change here. before glynda was kinda falling back into her soul as a way of just Getting On With Shit or protecting herself, but now it’s framed in a fun new way of please can i get out of here now. good job glynda. look at u GROUNDING YRSELF like a CHAMP who should have been in a TKO LIKE FIVE ROUNDS AGO--

What did that mean? Had she asked Cinder about Ochre? Glynda struggled to recall, but the memories swirled like clouded ink in her skull.

i still love the continuation of glynda’s Mysterious Messages To Herself. she leads such a thrilling life of ‘did i write that’ and ‘did i do that’ and ‘what does any of this mean’

Hating herself, Glynda found she couldn’t remember.

and also a less thrilling life of the squeaky clown shoes variety. glynda PLEASE

She had to know: was anything Cinder had given her real?

the YOU and the US,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the DESTINY. dw babe im sure cinder Has Never Told A Lie, Even Once In Her Life, On Account Of Being A Very Open And Honest Person,

Had she been abandoned? Cinder had been unhappy when she left. Angry, maybe. Angry enough to take her leave for good? Or had she always planned to?

i love watching glynda slowly become kind of,,,,,,,,,,,, more aware of herself in relation to other people? sometimes she still Moves or Does w/o rly thinking it thru, but we’ve got quite a change from, like, early chapters of glynda where she was barrelling along with VERY little disregard for both actions AND consequences,,, but look at her now!!!!!!! using her whole ass BRAIN. im proud of her. 

When she tried to dismiss this first fear, another one was waiting underneath: had something happened to Cinder?

In her attempts to keep Glynda’s soul from smothering them both, Cinder had been quite willing to converse over the phone with her—even if her texts were short and snippy, she usually at least responded, to avoid backlash. Did she not care anymore? Or—

Or was she unable to?

/leans in, like, uncomfortably close to the microphone

glynda darling i do Not mean 2 worry u but yr (future) gf is currently grieving, pissed beyond belief, and also

/checks notes

failing her way into becoming strawberry jam

But, surprisingly, there was another half to Glynda now: one that worried, despite facts, that Cinder was in danger. That Cinder might need her.

GO AND GET THE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The light caught in every golden thread of her crown emblem, embroidered with diligent precision. But something else caught her eye: the midnight black surrounding it had a sheen to it. Subtle red ducked through the fabric, glittering like burnished stars in a distant night sky: fire Dust.

The flash of a memory: Cinder’s face when Glynda had complained that her last cape had been burned.

This cape would not burn.

okay so no lie i cant read this bit without my eyes starting to water abt just how GOOD this section is and i have cried TOO MANY TIMES over this fic ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T H A N K Y O U F O R T H E F O O D !

CINDER MADE IT FIREPROOF. SHE DIDNT HAVE TO. SHE DIDNT NEED TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THE SYMBOLISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS U N R E A L. I AM CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GO GET THE GIRL YOU MORON

Glynda didn’t know what to do.

Glynda dialed Winter.

and i am INSTANTLY launched back into the comedy that is glynda goodwitch’s life at large THANKS FOR THE WHIPLASH

“No, I mean… I was awful to you the last time we spoke. I know I was. I keep thinking about it. I’m so sorry, I just… Don’t have anyone else to go to right now. I don’t know who else I’d call.” It was horrible to admit. Loneliness had never shamed her before because her soul had held it at bay. Now it made her sick. “I’m safe. If you don’t want to talk to me…”

LOOK AT THIS CHARACTER GROWTH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, GLYNDA!!!!!!!! YR DOIN SO WELL BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE COME LOOK AT HER THINKING WITH HER M I N D.

“I lashed out at you, Professor Goodwitch. That wasn’t right of me. I should have known that you weren’t truly to blame for what you said. I know Cinder. She’s manipulative. She twists the world and makes you think she’s a different person than who she really is. I blamed you in the moment, but Cinder Fall is truly the person at fault for making you believe that I would try to hurt you. I shouldn’t have raised my voice or said the things I did.”

/rubs face

like winter needs to be in this fic and og was bereft not having her actually take up 30% of the space as she DESERVES, but god i forgot that shes a whole Thing and winter please just. shush. for a moment. for a second. ilusm. but please shut up.

Glynda was pacing, her Scroll levitating near her.

side note but casual uses of glyndas semblance is one of my fav things i love seeing it. glynda ‘look mom no hands’ goodwitch out here,

Glynda closed her eyes. The tactile recollection of cats arching, bristling, and spitting. Backed into corners. “Maybe she was panicking. I don’t know.”

i dont rly have much to say here other than continuing to enjoy Cinder As Cat, the ongoing metaphor. glyndas just gonna pick her up the scruff of the neck eventually and we will ALL b thankful.

ughghghgb im not gonna copy paste this whole convo w/ winter because this is a liveblog not a shitty projection of the fic on the side wall of a bowling alley, BUT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD glynda is so WORRIED,,,,,,,,,,, past glynda is befuddled. bemused. why does future glynda Feel so much. but future glynda is FEELING and i love her. das yr gf yr worried abt. DAS HER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and also yr other gf winter too but like that’s a long-con sort of egg to hatch,

While it had been some time now since Glynda had been in a proper fight, she expected no trouble. This wasn’t Cinder—ergo: this wasn’t a real threat to her. Still, she would bide her time and hold her silence, if only for the chance of getting a hint of what was going on.

This wasn’t Cinder—ergo: this wasn’t a real threat to her.

LADS,,,, LADIES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BEANS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, IS IT GAY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, TO SEE YR RIVAL AS YR ONLY REAL THREAT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The group crossed the room as one unit, guns aloft and eyes peeled, determined to not be ambushed.

Glynda intended to ambush them regardless.

i dont like 2 say when an au gets a character so right that all other interpretations aren’t valid, but.......................... offal hunt gets glynda so right that all other interpretations aren’t valid, and thats that, on that,

One left. Glynda didn’t hesitate. She had been built to fight Grimm; far stronger, far quicker, far more bestial foes than these. She was herself a blade, sharpened far too fine for these intruders.

sounds hot

“Are they...alive?”

Glynda didn’t pause to check.

“Professor? Are they alive?”

glynda: fuck them kids

“How will you get to her?” Winter asked.

“I always find her in the end,” Glynda answered.

hrm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wonder if that’s foreshadowing something

Her soul was churning inside her, longing for solace, for Cinder. She could picture the way like a burning trail in her mind’s eye; that bright-yellow tether between herself and Cinder, that pathway between their souls that she had tread so many times before. It always led her to Cinder.

HRM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I WONDER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“Good luck, Glynda.”

“Thank you,” she said again, pausing under the streetlights. “But I won’t need luck. I’ll find her.”

FELLAS,

what a good chapter!!!!!!!!!!! also i cried. BUT I HAD A REAL GOOD TIME. I CAN IMAGINE THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LESS OF A GOOD TIME, BUT FOR NOW, I WILL ENJOY THE MENTAL IMAGE OF GLYNDA’S BICEPS AND HER FUTURE WEDDING ALSO,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

[thatlittledandere]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 15, 16, 17, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 31 and 40 for that shipper ask meme (sorry for picking so many but those questions are GOOD)

You're right, they absolutely are. I'm sorry in advance that this is gonna be LONG and I'm on mobile so I can't even add a read more;;

1. Talk about the first ship you ever had

So I'm SURE there were relationships I was invested in in movies and cartoons I watched as a child (I've always been a sucker for romance, even though there was that period when I didn't want to admit it) but I can't remember anything from very far back;; So it was either Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter or Ichigo and Masaya from Tokyo Mew Mew, whichever I read first.

2. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life

GOSH. You can't do this to me. I guess Romione because it was the time in my preteens when I was becoming more aware of... stuff, in general, abs the two cemented my love for friends-to-lovers. Then Ioryuu, because I've never been AS invested in and passionate about a ship before and likely never will. Nothing can compare to that intensity and ngl I miss it;; I miss the genuine hype I felt in my heart that made me interact with people and make things. So many things. I honestly can't think of a third one with such a lasting impact, sorry;;

3. What's your current OTP?

I imagine Souyo scenarios in my head every night before falling sleep and every morning after waking up, this is not a joke not an exaggeration. I still feel a little traitorous saying this on tumblr but their dynamic IS somewhat similar to the way I see Ioryuu so-

4. What's your current NoTP?

I don't think I have one? I have dislikes, some of them strong, but I don't see any of them often enough to be, like, actively angry. I have better uses for my time than willingly exposing myself to stuff I don't like.

5. Do you have any poly ships?

Not generally, juggling two characters is enough work lol. The only poly ships I've ever really actively shipped are Niels, Duncan and Natalie from the web comic Niels And the Gang by humon and Kinatsuen from Boueibu, but neither are actively on my mind much these days.

8. Have you ever shipped yourself with a character?

BOY HAVE I EVER. I've seen someone on tumblr have a side blog for self-shopping and not gonna lie, it's an excellent idea. My late teens were spent reading character x reader fics on Quotev and I started my fic career with the same genre. I don't really know what to do with myself when I DON'T actively ship myself with a character, which is my state of being now that Yosuke surpassed Yoosung as my favorite character;; Ibushi and Yoosung are the biggest ones but man oh boy I have shipped myself with characters from early age and I'm showing no signs of stopping! There's a reason that I main dating sims.

15. Have you ever "shipped at first sight"?

Not for long. I SUCK at forming first impressions. Usually if I start thinking I'll ship something, I end up not being so invested in it after all, and instead shipping something I swore off at first lmao. Which leads us to...

16. Talk about a ship you initially disliked

As a rule of thumb, all of them. I don't understand HOW it keeps happening but somehow almost all the ships I truly care/d about (that I didn't start shipping through osmosis before knowing them in the source material) started out as something I thought I "wouldn't be able to get behind." Gajevy. Shikatema. Sasunaru. Doctor/Rose. Karabita. Atsutodo. Kiribaku. Yoozen. Enatsu. Freaking IORYUU. EVEN SOUYO. IT'S BEEN YEARS I REALLY SHOULD KNOW THE PATTERN BY NOW

17. Talk about a pairing you've stopped shipping romantically

Like, I started to think they're better as friends after all? I guess NaLi. Then again, I mostly only shipped them out of spite in the first place because I wanted a counter for N/a//Lu, which I never liked at all;;

20. Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping

Now this time I can say for sure that there isn't one. I can't come up with ships myself and stay on board if there isn't content for it, canon or otherwise;; It's not a conscious decision or anything, it's just how my mind works. I get attached to stuff by exposure, whether from fans or the source material, and if the source material has enough content for two characters for me to pick up on and become interested, it's guaranteed to be enough to become a somewhat popular ship.

21. Is there a ship you just don't get, but have nothing against?

Actually... That's the extent I go to with notp'ing these days. I'm passionate about the right to ship whatever you want so by proxy I can't have anything "against" a ship, even if the sheer thought of it existing makes me nauseous. And I know how to think from points of view other than my own, so I can usually see the appeal, even if it appeals to me personally less than eating dog shit while walking barefoot on rusty nails that are also on fire.

That said, the only ships I have on my Tumblr blacklist are Yoo//ra/n and Suza//lu/lu because they're both popular ships for characters whose tags I am/was following and therefore get suggested a lot even if I want following anyone who ships then. Oh, and all B/LMa//tsu ships! I generally can't feel good about incestuous ships, but can and will fight for their shippers' right to do as they please as long as they stay respectful. (never saw blmatsus who weren't respectful. saw a plethora of anti-blmatsus who were absolute demons. actually the reason i moved away from the last remnants of my anti mindset was that i didn't want to be associated with THOSE anti-blmatsus, when the shippers they wanted dead were all such sweet people. food for thought.)

22. Which of your ships have the best chemistry?

All of them?? Lmao I don't understand this question, isn't shipping all about liking the chemistry between characters? Or the potential for it I guess, in which case the chemistry is whatever you want it to be, which is great B) I'm sorry I keep accidentally dodging questions I'm bad at choosing examples from a long, unordered list

23. Which of your ships deserve better writing?

Hhhhhhh I shipped Jerza for years and was still unsatisfied with their ending, Jellal didn't get to heal enough and we didn't really see them working through their past in an effective way and getting comfortable around each other. It's like they were supposed to be friends to enemies to lovers but the last part didnt really develop and their relationship stagnated at the stage were they were both just permanently awkward out of regret, and couldn't bring themselves out of it even though everything was forgiven forever ago. Or I've forgotten a lot of stuff that happened. Very likely. Is your a case of bad writing or good writing not working out the way I wanted it to? You're asking the wrong person.

25. Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs/graphics or similar?

EYUP. Harumichi was my otp for like a whole year before I saw a single episode with them lol. It was crazy, but it was REAL. I've also went into shows already paying attention to things I knew my friends/people I follow shipped, kind of hoping I'd get into it.

26. Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic I'm writing these questions down from screenshots and I cropped the rest of this one out by accident rip

Eeeh I go for the obvious. Best friend pairs, obvious pining, some rivalry with sexual tension, though I don't really know what to do with those. Then there's the fact that I never see it coming sick Persona 5 reference bro and start shipping the couple I thought "should just be friends" at first. This is more about my relationship to the ships than their dynamic but it's very constant...

27. Is there a ship you've shipped for most of your life?

Hmmm well I got into HP and started shipping Romione sometime in mid elementary school so it's definitely been more than half my lifetime since, but I don't really know if I "ship it" anymore. I didn't start disliking them or anything but for me, "shipping" is an active intrest in a fictional relationship, so if it reaches the stage where I like it, in theory, but I don't have the feels, it doesn't really count. That's why I can say I like ships without shipping them. It's gotta be actively on my brain, man.

31. Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love

I haven't mentioned Kannao once, which is criminal. So here's some of what I imagine their future to be like :D I've been getting new Persona followers recently so here's something for you to unfollow me over lmao

So first of all I ignore the canon that Naoto goes back to the city for her detective work after her first year of high school, shhh she stays in Inaba, only taking the occasional jobs. She and Kanji start dating during the spring break before their second year and get more comfortable with each other, so that the next summer they're still cute and very much themselves (which means somewhat reserved) but not as awkward anymore :) I haven't thought about what happens after they graduate but they get married in their early 20s and have a son <3 (Chie and Yukiko adopted their daughter only slightly earlier. They may or may not have had a bit of a competition going on) ((yes Souyo are very much together but if they end up having children I haven't thought about it it's later))

Kanji manages the textile shop and Naoto helps when she's free from detective stuff. They live in Inaba but Naoto is away quite often for her gigs;; She takes up a few jobs less when Kouta is little though so he wouldn't feel less close to his Mom than his Dad.

Both Kanji and Naoto suffered from unfair expectations growing up, so they try their best to make up for it with Kouta's upbringing. They want him to feel comfortable being himself and free to express himself the way he wants; they make sure he knows he'll always be loved and supported, and to never be ashamed of who he is. As a child it doesn't even occur to him that many social norms and social expectations exist, because Naoto and Kanji pretty much let him do whatever as long as he isn't hurting himself or anyone else. They might go a little overboard though, giving into Kouta's whims without much consideration at all. The Amagi Aunties enforce rules and keep kids grounded in reality much better lmao

40. If you could change one thing about your otp, what would that be?

HMNGHNMHGNMGH I WAMT YOSUKE'S INTERNALIZED BULLSHIT ACKNOWLEDGED!! It's there AtlUS!! Stop pretending oh my god.... I love the Dancing All Night story mode (so far. I am by no means done); Yosuke gets cool moments and Yu's internal monologue really shows how much he appreciates him. The dynamic is so much better than with a silent protagonist, and thank god they didn't go with the tactless anime Yu (as fun as he is). I know there are a bunch of nods to the cut romance across spinoffs but mannnn... I wish they were more serious about it. At this point it's not even that far-fetched to think Yosuke has feelings for Yu that he may or may not be aware of, and I know that Yu as the player character can't be too tied down to one option in canon, but still... Even the clown gets tired of jokes at some point. One can dream.

40 ship questions

#asks #anon #about me #this took like three hours and i didn't even take breaks shjddhjjdfh #i'm not complaining i love answering questions but like #i thought i'd still have time to do something else after #it's almost 3 am now;; it wasn't even midnight when i started;;; #i have another ask in my inbox but i'll have to leave it for tomorrow now orz #also sorry for dropping a bunch of ship names on you without specifying characters or fandoms #i have no excuse i just didn't want to do it #oh and if you're heavily in the 'naoto is trans only go die' crowd... this is the wrong blog for you #i respect other headcanons and preferred readings but it has to go both ways #and i prefer her as a woman if it wasn't clear from this #for personal reasons #that i'm not required to specify #if you make a post referring to naoto as them that's awesome and that's who they are in it #and if you think he's a trans guy but accept not everyone sees him that way that's awesome keep that up #but if me calling naoto her makes your blood boil for whatever reason then unfollow and block if you need to #that's great that's what taking responsibility over your experience is #i'm not guilt-tripping anyone into staying my headcanons are no better than yours

[olaf-likeswarmhugs]

A Word For Us || Soft

Summary: June 21-22: Olaf comes out to Sindri! And then Sindri starts to learn more about himself too! Good golly gosh, we love kids figuring it out. 

@huldufolk-hjarn

June 21, 2020

Olaf [deleted]: hi sindri u can ignore this since ur working but um hi!!

Olaf [deleted]: HI sindri do you have some time to talk about someth

Olaf [deleted]: HI sindri so i was googling

Olaf:  👋 ☃️ 🤗

Sindri: olaffffff

Sindri: hi

Olaf: hi!

Olaf [deleted]: wow ive forgotten how to talk to u like a normal person loooosflkj

Olaf: how's pixie's! is your shift going well? :)

Sindri: it's kinda slow right now

Sindri: im sitting here on a stool drying glasses lol

Sindri: so fun

Sindri: how's your day

Olaf: ah i know you're kidding but i love drying glasses

Olaf: i like the sound the glasses make, the little rubby sound? from the towel

Olaf: squeaky clean!

Sindri: like the squeak

Olaf: yes exactly

Olaf: and then arranging them in rows

Sindri: i had one that wasn't squeaky i should wash it again

Olaf: you should, customers deserve squeaky clean glasses

Sindri: yeah they do

Sindri: i was thinking about making myself one of those sodas we discovered last time

Sindri: like the regular soda water with the grenadine?

Olaf: ooooh

Olaf: yeah thats delicious

Sindri: i think peri might be starting to wonder where all her grenadine is going haha

Olaf: oh well dont have too much now

Sindri: i've had like three

Olaf: hmm that seems like enough

Olaf: though maybe we should get a soda water maker

Olaf: then we could make our own, they sell those you know

Olaf: we can order it online

Olaf: we can soda-fy any drink then, i think it'd be great for parties

Sindri: really?

Sindri: i thought it was a thing only bars had and like also places that make soda obviously

Olaf: no, you can get one for your home! and an espresso machine

Olaf: we should get an espresso machine too

Sindri: we should because then we wouldn't have to spend so much money on coffee

Olaf: well we would still have to buy the coffee for the machine but probably cheaper in the long run!

Olaf: really there are a lot of fun kitchen appliances we could get

Olaf: a waffle maker for example

Olaf: oh i saw a donut pan that was very cool

Olaf: there's a handheld smoothie maker but i think its better to just use the blender so you can make more smoothie

Sindri: i watched a video that showed how many soups you can make when you have a food processor which i think is just a bigger fancier blender but i like soups

Olaf: i saw a special kind of cutting device that slices an apple though into six equal pieces!

Sindri: i think my favorite food is soup

Olaf: soup is very good

Olaf: soups and stews

Sindri: yeah they remind me of home

Sindri: but waffles are good too

Sindri: if we made waffles we could decorate them

Olaf: yes! i love waffles because each hole can have something different

Olaf: like a little presennt

Olaf: likea  jellybean, or a peanut

Sindri: you want to put jellybeans on your waffles?

Olaf: well that was just an example but im sure it would taste good

Olaf: i like jellybeans and i like waffles

Sindri: jellybeans get stuck in my teeth

Olaf: sindri i also like you as a friend

Olaf: my best friend

Sindri: i like you as a friend too

Sindri: yeah you're my best friend

Sindri: are you okay?

Olaf: yes

Olaf: i was just doing some googling

Olaf: Google as you know is very useful. It answers almost every single question ive ever had since moving here

Sindri: yeah i love google

Olaf: yeah

Olaf [deleted]: i don't know if ive ever really told you but i think i worry about a lot of things. i dont like talking about it because i dont want everyone to worry about /me/ because then id just worry more about how im worrying everyone else but wow this is nonsense ANYWAY i have been really worried about...myself and feeling like something is wrong with me because

Olaf: i dont know if i ever told you this but for a long time, ive sort of felt something was wrong with me. it started when we began to date, but not because of anything you did, i think that was just the first time i realized i really wasn't like everyone else. at least i didnt feel the way everyone wanted me to feel or expected me to feel. and it was really awful, i just thought i was a big fake the whole time, like a liar almost, and then of course we broke up because i was so bad at it and everything but i still felt that awful feeling anyway.  and i just didnt know why and its never gone away  so i googled it today and googled and googled and i think i found the thing that explains me better than anything else and i think its important that i tell you what that is and im really nervous!!!!!!! look an emoji  🎈

Sindri [deleted]: we didn't break up because you were bad at anything

Sindri: there are a lot of things i want to say but im going to wait until you say your thing

Sindri: also i love emojis :)

Sindri: 🦆

Olaf: right, they're very comforting 🐭

Sindri: oh and please don't be nervous

Sindri: you can tell me anything

Olaf: im very nervous

Olaf: im even texting u and i know thsi should be an in person conversation ahha

Sindri: i think sometimes texting can make things easier to say

Sindri: it isn't like you're avoiding an in person conversation either because we live together lol

Sindri: im sure we will also talk about whatever it is in person

Olaf: right yes probably

Olaf: okay!

Olaf: so um yeah! humans have a lot of words for things and i think the word that fits me best is aromantic....ta-da!!  🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉

Olaf: it means i dont experience romantic attraction. because i never have, never, i dont' know why and i dont like dating like, i dont want to be anyone's boyfriend it makes me feel gross

Olaf: but i do want to be your best friend

Olaf: i was talking to finn and i said something that felt true but also kind of like i was contradicting myself? i dont know, feelings are very confusing but basically i said that you're my right person

Olaf: and i think thats still true even tho i dont want to date you and i dont mean that like i am in love with you or anything because im not and egjaldkf that feels mean to say but im trying to say that i really love you sindri and i never want to date you but you are more special to me than my other friends

Olaf: see it sounds like im contradicting myself

Olaf: also like im rejecting u when u didnt even ask me out so!!! sorry oh frosty

Sindri: i love you too olaf

Sindri: you'll always be my best friend

Sindri: always no matter what

Sindri: you're my right person too and i think i kind of get it

Sindri: not completely but i want to learn and i will look up that word but i don't think you're mean or fake or anything like that

Olaf: are you sure because i just read over those texts and it felt mean

Sindri: i don't feel insulted or rejected really

Olaf: I just want you to know it isnt you

Olaf: i used to think i was just rejecting you or something but the idea of dating anyone really is gross for me. like i dont want to ever stop being your roommate though iknow we probably will stop eventually

Sindri: im kind of sad you felt like a fake and a liar though

Sindri: why would we stop

Sindri: i don't want to stop being your roommate ever either

Olaf: well if you ever enter into a promise with someone

Olaf: you know, if you fall in love

Olaf: i probably wont be yoru roommate then. which is okay!

Sindri: but you're my right person

Sindri: when we were apart i was really sad a lot because i missed you

Sindri: and now that you're here im happy a lot of the time

Sindri: i don't want to be somewhere you aren't that sounds stupid to me

Olaf: i dont either. though we wouldnt be far or anything i mean if we stay here in swynlake we'd probably still be in the same town. i just dont want you to... um...not move on? I dont know if thats what you're doing idk sorry i feel like im making a lot of assumptions right now

Olaf: i dont want to hold you back if you fall in love with someone else

Olaf: thats all

Sindri: can i ask u a question

Olaf: yes

Sindri: is it okay if im a little bit in love with you? i mean..i'm not saying i want to date you or be your boyfriend because i don't want to do anything you don't want to do and i want us to be us and honestly im not even sure what being in lvoe is i guess except that i like you most and i like everything we do and that's the way i know how to say that

Sindri: i just say that with like

Sindri: zero expectations from it except you just being my friend for as long as you want to be

Sindri: sorry

Sindri: i probably shouldn't have said that

Sindri: i hope it didn't make you feel gross

Olaf: it only makes me upset if i think about somehow letting you down which i think is sort of my problem not your problem, which i realized recently too

Olaf: i just worry about a lot of things sindri

Olaf: i worry more than you might think i worry haha, i just worry that one day you'll decide that being my best friend isnt enough for you

Sindri: i will never decide that

Sindri: i love you as a person way more than i am "in love" with you which the more i think about it is a stupid concept anyway like what does it even mean

Sindri: when i say it it just means you are my favorite person

Olaf: i mean i mean that too but im not in love with you

Olaf: i dont know bc i dont feel it

Olaf: so maybe what you feel is or isnt love...i dunno sometimes i think romance is a game people play ahha i dunno

Sindri: i don't know how people date people they don't really know

Olaf: well i dont get what makes it a date

Sindri: ....wow

Sindri: me either

Olaf: because i could go out with lots of strangers and get to know them but i wouldnt call it dates id just call it...uh...getting to know a new friend haha

Olaf: like you went on dates with nemo when you moved here if u think about it

Olaf: except you didnt

Olaf: i dont know

Sindri: yeah

Olaf: i guess if people want to kiss at the end

Sindri: yeah maybe

Olaf: i just dont want you to lie to me

Olaf: like i did sort of lie to you for a little sindri and i am so sorry i did but i dont want to lie anymore so if you say that you're in love thats okay it is

Sindri: yeah i think maybe being honest about feelings is a really good idea for us

Sindri: because i don't want you to feel uncomfortable ever

Olaf: and i really dont want to hurt you

Sindri: i don't think you will but i will let you know if it ever happens

Sindri: im being really honest when i tell you that i only want what you want i will never feel like i'm missing out as long as you are my best friend okay

Sindri: i don't want dates and a boyfriend i don't feel like im missing out on that stuff

Sindri: i mean i guess i could theoretically want it but i don't miss it

Sindri: i feel complete without it

Olaf: okay. im gonna work really hard to believe that

Olaf: it might take me some time but thats because i think i still dont feel uh... enough i guess

Olaf: but we promised we wouldnt lie to each other so if you tell me thast what you want i believe you

Sindri: also i know it's not my place to say but you are enough i promise you are so great and anyone who knows you is lucky to have you in their lives. i'm so lucky you are my best friend olaf.

Olaf: well i dunno why you wouldnt think its your place to say as my best friend you should compliment me thank you  x3

Olaf: but i know you mean that

Olaf: and im lucky too

Sindri: thank you for telling me all this stuff

Olaf: thank you for listening

Olaf: and not hating me haha

Sindri: lol peri might hate me because i took a long break oops

Sindri: but i'll see you in a couple hours okay?

Sindri: i'm going to give you the best hug ever!

Sindri: it'll be almost like an olaf hug

Sindri: maybe

Olaf: oh oops

Sindri: idk i'll try

Olaf: haha im sure it will be even better than an olaf hug

Olaf: it will be a sindri hug ^.^

Sindri: :)

Olaf: we can maybe talk more when you come home too, if you want

Sindri: okay

Sindri: i think i'm going to look stuff up too when i'm drying glasses

Sindri: just so im prepared

Olaf: yeah! you can ask me questions

Olaf: though im still learning too haha

 June 22, 2020 

Olaf: hi sindri, i found more words!

Sindri: haha yeah?

Olaf: yeah xPPP

Olaf: there are lots of fun ones humans have a great sense of humour

Olaf: like wtfromantic ahha that made me laugh

Sindri: what does that mean

Olaf: WELL

Olaf: "a romantic orientation in the aromantic spectrum that describes people who cannot differentiate platonic from romantic attraction, cannot define romantic attraction and therefore aren't sure if they experience it"

Olaf: im glad there's a word for it and that word isnt stupid haha

Sindri: oh hey i like that one

Sindri: i think that one makes a lot of sense

Sindri: i've been thinking about like

Sindri: the line or whatever and it feels really arbitrary to me

Sindri: like what makes something a date? or not a date? you know

Olaf: exactly!!!!

Olaf: tho ive never felt any um, i dunno anything different for anyone so

Sindri: oh like where you want to "date" them

Olaf: right or like

Olaf: butterflies

Olaf: people talk about butterflies and i never get them for other people. i get flutters for other things

Olaf: like when im excited for an event you know?

Sindri: yeah

Sindri: i've been looking at stuff too

Olaf: oh have u also found words i have a list of words here but you can go next if you want

Sindri: no i want to know what your words are first

Olaf: well this next one is fun, it's squish

Olaf: guess what that means

Sindri: is it like a crush

Sindri: it sounds nicer than a crush lol

Olaf: yeah!

Olaf: its wanting to be friends with someone i guess, like, really badly

Olaf: i actually dont think ive had squishes either haha

Olaf: i mean! i want to be lots of people's friends but

Sindri: oh that's cool

Sindri: wow i love my new words so far

Sindri: squish is just a really cute one

Olaf: yeah i think its a very cute word x3

Olaf: There's also aesthetic attraction! which just means liking how someone looks, which is different than romantic or sexual attraction

Sindri: i found that one too

Sindri: i've been trying to figure myself out actually

Sindri: and that one was something i think i relate to a lot

Olaf: oooh wow im glad these words are helping you too

Olaf: yes i think i definitely understand aesthetic attraction.

Olaf: i actually think i might be asexual too? which is pretty crazy because i like sex but apparently thats not mutually exclusive!

Olaf: people shoudl really teach a class on this stuff

Sindri: it was also weird because it made me realize that when people say they are attracted to other people it means they actually want to have sex with them

Sindri: a lot of the time

Olaf: i KNOW

Sindri: that's CRAZY

Olaf: i dont not want to have sex with people? i dont know, i just dont think about it

Olaf: but if i think someone is pretty my first thought isnt oh lets have sex

Sindri: i never mean that when i say someone is attractive like i never look at a person and like want them to YES

Sindri: wow

Olaf: wow frosty!

Olaf: we have that in common haha

Sindri: i'll tell you one of my words

Olaf: yes! 

Sindri: demisexual

Olaf: oh i saw that one!

Sindri: it's where you only feel sexual attraction to someone you have an emotional connection to already

Sindri: i think that's me

Olaf: ah that sounds like you

Olaf: what a beautiful sindri word

Sindri: thank you

Olaf: i think i read another word for us

Olaf: did you come across queerplatonic?

Sindri: no

Olaf: oh!

Olaf: its a good one haha

Olaf: i mean i think so

Olaf: its kind of hard to describe exactly im still reading about it but uhhhh okay maybe i'll just link you

Olaf: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Queerplatonic_Relationship

Olaf:it kind of sounds like some promises, you know? though most promises are romantic

Sindri: oh hey

Sindri: wow this really does seem like an us word

Olaf: yeah doesnt it!

Olaf: like how everyone thought we had to be more than friends

Sindri: yeah which is dumb

Sindri: i really like this one

Sindri: this one makes me feel like

Sindri: idk if feels right

Olaf: yeah i dont feel as stupid anymore haha

Olaf: if other people are like us, i mean

Olaf: maybe not exactly like us

Sindri: well it even says there are lots of ways they can be

Sindri: which is cool

Sindri: like if it makes sense to the people in the relationship that's how it is it's about being open and being comfortable

Olaf: yeah each one has different rules apparently

Sindri: i also think it's kind of silly that like friendships are apparently "not as intense" as romantic relationships which i guess is why this exists right

Olaf: yeah i think so

Olaf: though its confusing still because some articles say its asexual and other ones say that there can be sex

Olaf: but that goes back to teh different rules thing

Olaf: i think each one must be like a snowflake

Sindri: yeah i think it is about what the people in them want

Sindri: are we

Sindri: or like

Sindri: i don't know i think maybe if i wanted to define our relationship i might want to use that word

Sindri: which is something we would totally have to talk about

Olaf: i think id like that

Olaf: i just have always wanted to be your best friend forever which sounds so silly and childish but i dunno

Olaf: maybe we dont need all the words for it but maybe we do?

Olaf: or not!

Olaf: haha

Sindri: i want to be your best friend forever too olaf

Sindri: like i mean it

Sindri: i don't ever want to stop being friends with you and when i think about what i want my life to be like you are always in it

Sindri: and maybe having a word would make that easier because we wouldn't feel like we are doing things wrong?

Sindri: even though there isn't a right way

Sindri: but just in terms of other people and maybe feeling pressured to be different? i dont' know

Olaf: i think it would make me feel better about not leading you on or disappointing you and i know you say i dont do those things but it makes me nervous

Sindri: yeah and i would feel better about feeling like i'm accidentally pressuring you

Olaf: yeah

Olaf: we should definitely talk about it

Olaf: there are actually checklists and sheets and stuff hehe its kind of cute

Sindri: aww really?

Olaf: yeah :3

Sindri: when do you want to talk about it

Sindri: do you want to like plan a time

Olaf: oh i was just going to do it whenever you wanted to?

Olaf: if you want we can plan a time

Sindri: i think i would like to talk about it when i see you next so probably tonight haha

Sindri: it feels really good to maybe have a word

Olaf: oh okay! I can print out these worksheets if you want

Olaf: i'll make snacks hehe

Sindri: okay lol i can bring home some of that soup from remys too because we can't just eat SNACKS

Olaf: i do like that soup!

Sindri: good we have a plan then!

#soft #text #soft text #yes i am still posting things a month late #:) would u expect anything less from me

[lasercruz]

@quarterdollar​ fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call?  No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i  have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1     .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?  nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i  just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔  i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg  theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding?  yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery?  dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that  and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile  😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting?  its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty  sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and  okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

#ask #mine

[livealives]

hello hello it’s kavi the menace again :D i’ve rambled about wolfgang and now i will ramble about phoenix. once again dont be afraid to hmu on d*scord ( greedling#3129 ) or shoot me a tumblr im.

APPLICATION

∽∕ [PARK SEONGHWA, CISMALE, HE/HIM ] hey! you must be that [ TWENTY-ONE ] year old player people were talking about! they kept saying your name is [PHOENIX MAY], but that you go by [ NYX ], and that you’re a [ PERENNIAL] and from [NEW YORK]. oh! and also that you’ve been working as a [PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR] while you’re in here. I really hope it’s true, ‘cus i’ve also heard that you’re [DETERMINED] & [SINCERE], but i’m not going to lie that some say you’re [ PESSIMISTIC ] & [ APPREHENSIVE ]. wait a second…now that I think about it, you kind of remind me of [ WILTED FLOWERS, INK STAINED HANDS, BLOOD SHOT EYES ], which is pretty cool! see you around then! ∕∽

TRIGGER WARNINGS: CAR CRASH, DEATH

STATISTICS

► basics;

full name (f, l): phoenix may age: 21 birthday: december 5 deathday: september 18 this year gender: cismale sexual orientation: gay occupation: private investigator main realm: skyline ► background;

place of birth: new brunswick, new jersey residence @ time of death: new york education: criminal justice major in progress ► physical;

faceclaim: park seonghwa eye color: brown  hair color & style: when he died, he had soft brown hair [link]  height: 5′10 tattoos, birthmarks, scars, etc: has a little heart shaped birthmark on his right wrist. in game: nyx has two distinct appearances. the first is blond hair [link] & pointed elf-like ears. the second is black hair [link] & vampire-like fangs. the reason? he just wanted to have a lil fun bc he didnt really allow himself to have fun when he was alive. also, he was very obsessed with fantasy as a child... thus the ears & fangs...

► personality;

positive traits: (mentally) strong, realistic, thoughtful, perceptive negative traits: blunt, hard-headed, anxious, uptight alignment: neutral good more: think a lot first, act later. makes lists to stay organized and on top of things. caring, borderline parental at times. takes care of others before himself; finds himself to be rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things. will take a bullet for someone he doesnt know the name of. analytical and very intelligent. he can make split second decisions but it isn’t something he’s comfortable with. if possible, he likes to sleep on big decisions so he can make the best choice (but lbr, he wont actually be able to sleep). drives himself anxious to no end bc of how much he overthinks. determined as all hell. hates making choices (think chidi from the good place). needs to let loose but never got the chance to.

► misc;

hobbies: taking care of plants, singing (but never infront of anyone that isnt his family) favorite book: lord of the rings & the hobbit.  favorite music genre: alternative & rock pets: no pets, only plants

BIOGRAPHY

nyx was the oldest of three children. his younger siblings erew fraternal twins and were born when nyx was 10. their parents were extremely busy and had little to no time to spend with their kids. they werent bad parents, they were just busy and forgetful. nyx harbored nothing against them, in fact, he absolutely loved them. both of his parents worked as incredibly smart researchers and were somehow involved in the creation of utopia.

so nyx was essentially left to raise his siblings himself. he learned to be independent at a very young age so he could be a good role model for his siblings and take care of them properly. 

he’s a mediocre cook, an incredible cuddler, a good shoulder to cry on, a good bedtime story teller & lullaby singer, etc etc i cant words right now

even when raising two kids, he managed to keep his grades high enough & do enough extra curriculars to graduate valedictorian and attend columbia as a criminal justice major. he got a license for private investigation and started a side job soon after.

last febuary, his entire world fell apart. he got a call from robert woof johnson hospital about his family. all of a sudden, his entire family was dead. the details were redacted, and he was told that it was ruled an accident. no matter how hard he pressed and who he asked, no one said a thing.

his grades faltered but he kept them up for the rest of the semester. he stopped working and isolated himself from his friends. he stopped taking care of himself and even the plants he loved so dearly started to die. he stayed up for weeks and months trying to piece together any sort of detail regarding what happened.

he died at the start of the semester that just started. scatterbrained and low on sleep, he was involved in a hit and run. the ambulance was able to gather data necessary to upload him to utopia before somewhat stabilizing him. in the hospital his condition worsened and he ended up passing that night. a friend that had once been close to him consented on his behalf for him to be uploaded into utopia. 

in utopia, hes deadset on finding two things: his family and answers. 

he still somewhat-works as a private investigator, meaning that if someone comes to him with a grievance, he’ll do anything in his power to help them.  

this is short and barely coherent because i really dont have many details for him yet. basically, phoenix is just a very nice person trying to do nice things but nice things dont happen to him. connections page coming soon. i will leave u with this incredibly cute gif.

#utopia:intro #fucking FINALLY only took me 5 hours

[grootieboi]

hey! can you do 21 , 22 , 48 with steve harrington please. (angst please) thank you💞

Distant. - Steve Harrington

21 why didnt you tell me? 22 you are hiding something 23 does it look like I care?

Y/N hadn’t been out a lot recently. She hadn’t hanged out with her boyfriend and pretty much just been at home. Steve was getting very worried at the fact that he hadn’t heard a lot from her. He didn’t know what had happened to her or if it was something about them. He didn’t even want to imagine that it was something about them and their relationship. It had gone to far and he really needed to know what had happened with her. At first he had let her have her space but it had been three days now and he was really getting worried about her. In these three days, it had only been short phone calls. They hadn’t lasted more than five minutes. It was very unusual for her to only talk for that little time. She usually would speak for at least thirty minutes and would go to his place once a day. It made him worried sick that she had done something stupid or that she thought he had done something. He loved her so much and he really didn’t want anything to happen to her.

Steve parked right outside of her house. He let out a breath before leaving the car. With heavy and nervous steps, he moved towards the door with a pair of roses in his hand. He knocked on the door, and was met with the girl he had missed seeing these days. She looked so beautiful. “Steve?” She asked, a bit shocked that he was there. “ didn’t you have a basketball game today?” She said opening the door a bit more. She was wearing only her nightwear and the clock was only four which was unusual of her. “ yeah- well..you weren’t going to be there so I mean- I just didn’t go. “ he said handing her the flowers. She looked down at his hand and smiled at the flowers that was in his hand. “ thank you. “ she said as she grabbed them. “ can I come in?” He asked, giving her a small smile. “ yeah..sure. “ she told him as she opened the door fully now.

They went to her room, and he sat down in her bed. She put the roses in a vase by her desk as she then went and joined him on the bed. “ You haven’t visited me a lot these days. Is something wrong?” He asked, making her shake her head. “ no everything’s okay. I have just been a bit sick lately. “ she said giving him a small smile. It was a totally lie but she didn’t want to worry him. Her reason was just so stupid and she knew it but still she couldn’t help it. “ You are hiding something Y/N “ he said looking at her. He grabbed her hands and looked at her wanting her to know that whatever she was going to say was okay. “ I’m not hiding anything Steve. “ she said looking at him, moving her hands away from his grip. He was getting very worried when she reacted like that. “hey- I just want you to tell me..” he said trying to calm her down but she was already getting upset. “ it’s nothing. “ she said. “ please Y/N I can’t loose you. If it’s something- we can fix it. “ he said looking at her and she felt her heart break at what he was thinking. He was thinking that it was something wrong with them and that she was leaving him.

Now she was crying and she was absolutely not sitting down. “ I’m sorry Steve okay? That I can’t be like those girls and that I’m not as perfect as them. I just want to be someone that is perfect for you but guess what? I’m not.” she said making him very worried. Where did she get all this from? He absolutely hated seeing her cry and the words that came from her lips made his heart ache. She was everything he ever wanted but still she felt like she wasn’t enough. “ hey.. calm down. “ he said as he moved to hug her but she just moved away. “ everyday I see girls like Nancy and all I can do is just smile even if it pains me that- I can never be like them. “ she couldn’t even finish that sentence before the boy had wrapped his arms around her. She was sobbing while he was leaving kisses all over her face. “ why didn’t you tell me?” He asked her. “ it’s pathetic. I don’t know- “ she started but was cut off by him. “ does it look I care? Is it better to cut me off?” He asked making her shake her head. She shaked her head, she knew that it wasn’t good to cut him off but she didn’t know what else to do. She had to be alone for awhile to handle her feelings. “ and you are perfect! You are not like them and that’s one of many reasons why I like you. Because you are you, and I fell in love with you. I’m with you and not them Y/N. “ he said looking at her while having his arms around her. She gave him a small smile. “ I’m in love with you, stupid girl and only you. I want you to tell me whenever you feel like you aren’t enough and I’ll show you that you absolutely are. “ he said making her nod before kissing his lips.

——————

Thank you for your request!!

#imagine steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #imagine stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things

[babystarker]

yall wanted it, yall got it: "i know that you notice my ways" - chpt. 1

Peter looked up from his calculus textbook every few minutes.

It was cute, the little routine he had going. Skim-read, turn the page, look up at Tony, who would always be looking the other way.

Not that he was counting. No, Peter had his tells. The way he’d brush his hair behind his ear or away for his forehead before he tilted his head up. Or would slide his finger under the next page, waiting to turn it, gathering those few seconds of courage to look up again.

And, like each time before, Tony'd be looking away.

Maybe because he was focused on reading through a stackload of files Pepper had sent him from Italy, saying it was important and could he please at least try to get past the first page? He flicked her a text saying he'd opened the first file, and she sent back a very un-Pepper thumbs up. He figured it was an instruction carried out by her secretary; "Reply to that for me, can you? Something encouraging". He had every plan to actually go through with the reading.

Then Peter came over.

It wasn't unusual for the kid to show up at odd hours.

Ever since the new suit - taken, then given back; truly his now - he felt more comfortable going further and further away from the centre of the city. Maybe it was the suit itself giving him confidence. Maybe it was the people around him - Happy treating him a little less like a nuisance, Tony actually listening to him, wanting to recruit him. Or maybe it was just that he was growing up. Coming into his own, and all that.

That, and he knew the kid had some kind of thing for him. He didn't know if people his age still called it a crush, but name aside, he knew what he saw. He'd seen it in fans and gala-attendee's and occasionally the rare staff member.

An innocent crush stemming from hero worship, most likely. The kid was young, headstrong, but a fanboy. He had Iron Man and Avengers posters up on his wall the first time Tony came to see him in his (albeit surprisingly young and attractive) aunt's small Queens apartment. He remembered Peter telling him he was at the Expo the night it opened - the same night Vanko nearly killed hundreds in the area covered in the Stark name.

He'd only seen Peter's crush as more than that once, in the lab. But he second-guessed it, and conveniently never thought of it again.

Until Peter looked up from his textbook for the 50th time that night, and Tony met his eyes.

They weren't tired from studying, or from being hunched over that same book in the low light for the past hour. Tony guessed he'd probably done just about as much reading as he had (Read: hardly anything).

No, he was focused. Didn't seem at all flustered at being caught staring - in fact, it seemed like that was what he wanted after all, judging by the twitch in his lips. Tony didn't know whether they were twitching to smile or forge embarrassment. He didn't read that far into it.

He needed a drink.

"Mr. Stark?"

The boy's voice was as small and high-pitched as ever. Needy.

Tony twisted as he stood and made his way to the 'bar', which was essentially just a left-out bottle of whiskey he hadn't put away yet, and then refused to put away after Rhodey commented on it.

He took a glass from the cabinet, uncapped the bottle, poured, and sipped.

He looked over at the round table surrounded by some very sleek white leather couches, where Peter sat on his haunches. Waiting. Like a puppy.

God, something was wrong with him tonight.

He's a kid, Stark thought to himself. You're his mentor, he's a kid. He sipped again. Without ice, the taste was different, but still amazing. He was never one to go the cheap route on anything, especially liquor.

From the table, Peter piped up.

"Do you think I could have one of those?"

Tony froze with the glass against his lips. Fuck, he was a bad influence.

"Ah, don't think so, kid. Underage and all." He waved his hands around in Peter's general direction to affirm his point.

"But," Peter dragged the vowel out, slowly rising to his feet. "With the Bite, and all...it might not even affect me. I'll be 21 soon enough, anyway."

"Yeah, in six years. I don't think so, short stuff."

Tony took a bigger sip than usual. The liquor burned his throat in that oh-so-familiar way.

Peter frowned at him. He was getting closer, making his way between the couches and into the open-plan kitchenette.

"You always nickname me stuff like that."

God, he was pouting, wasn't he? Do teenagers usually pout, or is it a radioactive teen-genius exclusive?

He stepped foot in the kitchen, two feet from where Tony himself was standing.

"They're all kinda childish, don't you think?"

Peter stepped closer, and this would be when Tony usually took his own step backward, but he didn't. Cause this was Peter - he had no reason to back away from him.

Peter brought a hand up to tug at the neck of his shirt, just for a moment, revealing pale skin and a strong collarbone before the shirt sprung back up into place, and the hollow of his neck was hidden from sight. He brought that same hand along the column of his throat, fingers splaying out over it entirely, before he went higher, haphazardly sweeping them through his hair as if that was his plan all along.

Tony tore his eyes away from the dark mole on the boy's Adam's apple as soon as he realised he was still looking and gripped the glass in his fingers tighter. The glass was cool, firm. Grounding. This was just a kid in a kitchen. A protege. This was just Peter.

But he met the boy's eyes, and he knew the atmosphere had changed.

He'd looked, and Peter saw, and that pleased look was back on his face because that's what he wanted.

"Kid--" He began, but Peter laughed, and his sentence cut off right there.

"There's your favourite one: Kid. It's always kid, or short stuff, or Spider-Boy, which, by the way, Mr. Rhodes has taken to calling me all the time. I'm not a kid, Mr. Stark."

He brought his hand down to clutch at his opposite shoulder, and Tony refused to look. He was an adult; he'd endured press conferences and politicians since he was nine, he could withstand Peter fronting up to him a little. Pressing into his consciousness with the toe of his sneakers. Jesus, when did he manage to get the upper hand?

Tony shook his head, sipped his whiskey with two long gulps until the drink was finished.

He watched Peter through the bottom of the glass.

Send him home, he thought. He didn't voice that thought.

"Pete, I respect you. You're a good...person. You're mature and intelligent and a great hero. But, you are a kid. And that means asking for alcohol is still a no-go,"

"This isn't about the alcohol-"

"You wanted to see if I'd say yes." Tony said, and Peter's jaw snapped shut.

He noticed the way it tensed. He wasn't shocked, he was pissed.

"I'm sixteen. I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"Not about booze, kid "

"This isn't about the alcohol!" Peter's voice cracked a little on the last word, voice raised but not quite yelling.

Tony stepped forward.

"Then what's this about, hm? I thought I knew, maybe, but now you're just confusing me, kid."

"I'm not a kid,"

"Peter. What's up?"

He wanted to pat him on the back. The shoulder. His hands stayed where they were.

"I want you to take me seriously." Peter said, and Tony felt like a failure.

"Don't get me wrong, you're so good to me, Mr. Stark, and I appreciate everything, so much...But I'm not a child."

Tony sighed, putting the glass down on the bench. He knew what this was about. He had the same issues with his father - always excelling way past his age group and always being seen as 'little Tony, messing around with daddy's tools'. He worked his whole life to be taken seriously by his father, and after his death, tried to live up to his name.

"Kid," He started, then realised what he'd said. "Pete,  you're incredible. You're an amazing scientist, and I do mean that-"

"Mr. Stark-"

"No, it's true-"

"This isn't- you're not listening to me,"

Tony rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm trying to tell you I understand."

"And I'm trying to tell you I like you."

Peter said the words with such finality Tony almost didn't register what he was actually saying.

But he did. He heard what he heard, and Peter was still pinning him to the spot with his eyes. Brown, steady, focused.

"You're not gonna say anything?"

He knew he should. He didnt.

"Cause... cause I mean it. I'm not a kid with a crush, Mr. Stark. That's all I want you to see."

Tony hears the 'Please don't dismiss me' for what it is.

Peter's hand dropped from his shoulder and he stepped forward, reaching out as if he wanted Tony to take his hand. But instead he moved even closer, and slipped his fingers into the lapel of his blazer, pulling it a little to straighten it.

When he stopped adjusting it, his hand stayed where it was. His fingers were warm where they splayed out across his chest.

"Peter," Tony began. He wanted to stop him. Warn him, maybe. Tell him he's an old man with a lot of problems, that he'd only get hurt.

But he knew that was a lie. He would never harm a hair on Peter's head. He'd reject the Accords before he made that kid cry.

He'd never hurt him. He couldn't ever.

He could deterr him, send him home. He knew the kid would go. But he couldn't.

"It's okay, Mr. Stark. I won't be mad, if you don't feel the same way. I just wanted you to know." Peter said, and went to move his hand away.

Tony grabbed his wrist before he could.

"Kid..."

Peter looked up through his eyelashes, hopeful. "Yeah, Tony?"

Fuck. "Peter, we can't,"

"Can't, or don't want to?"

Wasn't that a question.

He wanted. Fuck, he wanted. He was a piece of shit for the thoughts he sometimes had, those secret things he pushed down, undisclosed, pretended they'd never come up in his brain.

He tried to use the therapy trick of force-forgetting memories.

Peter changing out of his suit in the lab the first time he'd come around. The glance he'd cast to the tight white underwear the kid wore, the way it stretched across certain places in an obscene way.

Ignored the thought of buying Peter new underwear to rectify that problem.

Ignored the thought of what he'd look like without them on. What he'd look like under him. What he'd look like-

"Mr. Stark?"

Tony realised the strength of his grip on Peter's wrist and quickly let go, brushing his hands down on his pant legs to rid invisible sweat.

"Peter, I can't."

He repeated. A plea really. Please understand you're all I have. I can't deny you anything. Please don't push this because you don't know how easily I'll cave.

"But you can. You can do anything. You're Iron Man,Tony."

"Tony?"

"Mhm. I figured a little equality in the titles would be good. Don't you think so?"

He was pressing. He was pressing and Tony was bending so easily. He'd take any shape Peter wanted him to. He just had to make sure Peter didn't know that. He'd ruin him.

Peter took one more step and then he was right there, chest pressing against his own, and that was his head, forehead nuzzling into Tony's ribcage.

Tony acted on impulse.

He hugged him.

Peter hugged back, bringing his arms up to wrap them around Tony's middle, squeezing tight with muscles that could do a lot more. He spread his hands out over the flat of his back, moving them up ever so gradually till they were over his shoulder blades, then down again. It was soft, gentle. Caressing.

"Pete,"

Tony felt his hands burning where they rested, arms laying over the boy's shoulders, hands touching barely any part of him.

He didn't even know himself what he wanted to say.

Peter stepped back to look at him, and the absence on his chest felt cold.

"Peter,"

His hands were in his hair, cradling his head. It was easier, now that Peter was just the right distance away. He didn't question why he was doing it, because Peter was humming, the tiniest sound of contentment, and his hands weren't so warm. He wasn't doing anything wrong.

He looked down, and Peter's eyes were glazed a little like he'd snatched the bottle of whiskey while Tony wasn't looking.

His lips were parted a little, head tilted up and gaze focused on Tony's face. Their eyes didn't meet. Because Peter was watching his mouth.

Tony could've cleared his throat. Stepped back. Took his fucking hands off the underage boy - but he didn't. He knew Peter was looking, and like a mirror, not knowing what the fuck he was doing, he let his own eyes dart down to the teen's lips.

He'd licked them recently - they were wet and shiny, mouth moving a little for his teeth to bite into his lower lip, like he was contemplating something.

Tony looked away. He felt his fingers twitch against Peter's scalp. He wanted to move them, pet him. Would that be friendly, or would that give him ideas?

Peter seemed to have made his mind up.

He'd seen the man watching him throughout the night. Watching him when he thought Peter was focusing on his textbook. He saw his eyes drift to his neck, to his arms, to his lips.

He'd seen, and that was all the confirmation he needed.

Peter reached up onto his toes - not having that far to go - and pressed his mouth against Tony's neck.

He felt the grip in his hair tighten.

"Peter," Tony warned, and Peter could feel the vibrations of the words against his tongue.

Peter pulled away, leaving a shiny, wet patch on the older man's skin.

"What are you doing, kid?"

Peter licked his lips, gathering excess spit. "Kissing you?"

Tony guffawed. Well, at least he wasn't pissed? Or maybe he was just deflecting.

"That's where you aim when you kiss, Pete? Might wanna practise that a little."

And fuck, why did he have to say that? Honestly, what the fuck?

But Peter just looked up at him, hopeful and eager and lips still shiny like he's wearing lipgloss and (don't imagine that don't imaging that)--

"Are you offering, Mr. Stark?"

Realistically, Tony could've done anything at that moment. But this was Peter. His boy. The one person he couldn't deny anything, asking something of him. Something he'd never admit he was willing to give.

So he opened his sin fucking mouth, and condemned himself.

"I think I might be."

His hands were still locked into the kid's hair when he surged up again, and this time the kiss landed. Tony's body reacted without permission at the feeling of a warm mouth on his own, pressing thousands of tiny kisses all at once. Cute, really.

Tony used the grip he had on the kid's head to tilt it back, using the little gasp he let out as an opportunity to let his tongue lick into the kid's mouth, warm and wet and tasting like strawberry chewing gum.

The kid kissed back enthusiastically, still trying to lead with an open mouth and tight lips.

He was sweet.

He tasted so, so sweet.

He felt the boy's smooth tongue against his own, and Tony felt himself slip. He was a goner, then and there.

A loud noise rang out from the table Peter was sitting at what felt like hours ago. A cell phone ringtone, the vibration pattern buzzing the phone across the glass.

#starker #peter parker x tony stark #starker fanfiction

[miserablesoui-blog]

26/04/19 5:37 AM

Day Two Without You. 25/04/19

This day was a mess of fucking emotions. I dealt with being happy, sad, and angry all throughout the day. I walked into school being happy. It felt like I was gonna do okay today. Until I saw shannon at 8:21 AM. You know when you see someone and it reminds you of another person? that’s what happened and I felt it in my stomach. Then I snapped out of it and was good again. I distracted myself with music. Then came period three. I walked into class and I saw Donita who calls me over and asks me to convince you to go to prom. It felt like fucking shit even talking about you. I didnt want you and she wouldnt let go of the conversation. I wanted to throw up at this point and went to my desk and put my head down and started tearing up. I remember I needed a distraction so I asked Gracie what she’s doing after school and we planned to go to the plaza. Then came period four and Gertrude convinced me to get out of calc to see my blood type regardless of the fact that I already knew what it was but I agreed. I went downstairs and I finally saw you. My heart literally felt like it dropped to my stomach. For a second, it felt like I couldnt breathe. You looked at me like you didnt know me. Not even a smile, but I guess that’s what you meant by this separation. I just didnt expect to see you looking right through me as if I was see-through and didnt exist knowing damn well all you’ve known for the past 10 months was me. It hurt like a bitch on the inside. Then came the time to go to the plaza. I went there and started crying to Gracie thinking back on all memories. In my head went the thought that if someone was to come up to me earlier and tell me April 18th, 2019 was the last day I would enter your house and hang out with you as friends would be the last day, i wouldnt believe it but life took its turn and here we are. Everything reminds me of you. We went to tims and all i could think about were times we spent there together. We went to the park and I remember the summer day I took pics of you there. We sat at the park talking and I started crying again thinking about you. I was wondering why you gave up. I then checked your twitter and it broke me. The day I attempted you took a video walking to school and smiling and It fucking hurt me so bad. I wondered if you even cared that much that I just tried to take my own life. It made me go crazy thinking how you looked so content when the person you supposedly care for the most is going through suffering. Then i started thinking about the morning it all went down and I remember looking at the text “I’m disappointed in you” and its the last thing I wanted to see at that time. I begged you to talk in person after and you werent willing to just hear me out. i kept listening to Dont Watch Me Cry and theres specific lyrics that stood out. “ I wonder if you’re thinking if shes alright all alone”, “Have I ever crossed your thoughts because your names all over mine”, “It’s harder when they dont know what they’ve done, thinking it’s better they leave meaning that i’ll have to move on”. Hearing this song usually makes me sad but this time broke me inside because it’s genuinely what I felt. i remember in November when I was talking about how I wanted to die and you told me you were gonna go to western with me and i was so fucking happy. You told me you wanted to make sure I was okay. I remember saying “well technically one day you can walk in and i’d be hanging from the ceiling” and you said the words “i wouldnt let that happen and thats why I’m not leaving you alone”, how ironic is that. You left me regardless. It was all a lie. All the good memories were going through my head. I still remember the day you first said “love you” to me, I still remember the time you first held my hand to make me feel comfortable, I still remember the time you first offered me your jacket because I was cold, I still remember the time you used to look at me and just smile, but that guy left. That’s where you changed

[blueeyedbesson]

Taking You: Chapter 21

21: War Paint

Series Masterlist Masterlist

By the time Tuesday rolled around, I had a better idea of how to be a band manager. Tyler taught me all the smaller details and helped me walkthrough it.

"The boys still don't know about this, do they?" I asked Tyler as we sat in the bus and waited for the boys to come back from sound check.

"Not yet. When they get back, I'm sure they're going to ask what's next for them and that is when you'll tell them the rest of their schedule for the day. Which shouldn't be hard since its literally just sitting at the beach until they have to get ready for the show."

"Thanks, Tyler. You have no idea how much I appreciate this."

"No. Thank you, Abby. I really need this break." he smiled and I hugged him.

"We're back." Jack cheered as he walked onto the bus with the boys and the girls. I pulled away from the hug just in time to see Jonah walking over to us.

"Hey Tyler. What's on the schedule for today?" he asked. Tyler just looked at me and smiled. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing." I smiled and looked at the schedule. "You just have a few hours to spend at the beach until you have to be back in time for the show tonight."

"And why are you telling us all of this?" Jack wondered.

"She's gonna take over for me for a few days as your manager." Tyler replied.

"Why?"

"Because he needed a break and I wanted to give him one. He was getting stressed out."

"Is that what's been going on for the past 2 days?" Jonah asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah. You don't need to worry." I kissed his cheek and earned a smile in return.

"Good. I don't want to lose you."

"You're cute." I giggled.

"I heard that we're going to the beach so let's go get ready." Belle cheered as everyone ran into the back room to grab their clothes. I already had my bikini on under my clothes so I stayed in my spot at the table. Tyler rested his head on the wall and looked at me.

"Think you can handle it?" he smiled.

"Yeah. Thanks again for teaching me what I need to know."

"No problem."

"1 ready, 8 to go." Daniel smirked as he was the first one ready. "It's going to be fun."

~~~~~~~~

"You can't do that. It's not fair." I laughed as Jonah and Jack threw me over their shoulders and carried me into the ocean. Jonah handed me to Jack and he dropped me in the water. "You're both supposed to love me, you assholes."

"We do love you. That's why we wanted you to you us in the water, dude." Jack laughed as he helped Gabbie onto his shoulders. Daniel pulled Aubrielle up onto his shoulders and they began a game of chicken. I swam over to the others and splashed Zach. He tried to fight back but got Belle instead.

"Jerk." she giggled and they started a splashing war.

"You're chaotic." Corbyn laughed as we watched everything that was going on around us.

"I try my best." I smirked and looked over at Jonah. He was helping Angel onto his shoulders while Zach hoisted Gabbie up onto his.

"You're going down, Gonzalez." Angel laughed as they began the fight.

"Jack, can you be my partner against the winner?" I asked him and he nodded. Just then, Angel went into the water. "Looks like you gotta go against your girlfriend."

"You got this, Abby." he smirked and easily pulled me up onto his shoulders.

"And go!" Jonah shouted and stepped back a bit so we could begin. I grabbed onto Gabbie's arm and we started pushing each other. A few moments later, we were both landing in the water. "That looked like a tie."

"Gabbie hit the water first." Jack laughed and held onto his girlfriend.

"No, Abby hit the water first." Zach replied.

"You're the judge Jonah. You decide."

"He's going to pick his girlfriend. We need a judge who isn't dating or related to any of the contestants. Aubrielle, can you decide?" Zach asked as he looked over at her.

"Okay. Um..." she began and looked at us. "Sorry Abby. I saw you hit the water 0.3 seconds before Gabbie."

"Thanks for being a fair judge." I smiled and swam over to Jonah. "Would you have said I won?"

"Yeah." he smiled then whispered into my ear. "But only because she hit the water before you."

"I love you."

"I love you too." he smiled and pulled me close. "I don't want to creep you out but Eben is looking at you and I don't like it."

"Awe, Jonah. You're so cute." I giggled. "Eben is the least of your worries, my dear. I love you more than anyone."

"I just love you so much & you've known Eben longer than any of us. You two have a connection & I'm afraid that it'll grow."

"It definitely won't, I promise you."

"Good." he smirked and kissed me.

~~~~~~~~~~

I sat backstage with the other girls, Eben and Tyler as we watched the boys perform. My 5 favorite guys are up on that stage, doing what they love and they are doing so great. I honestly couldn't be more proud of them.

"I can't believe you're the manager for the week." Eben smiled as he sat next to me.

"How is that going?" Angel asked.

"It's going well. Tyler has taught me everything he knows and I'm so happy that I get to help someone I care about."

"Again, thank you for doing this for me. It was stressing me out a little." Tyler smiled and put his hand on my arm. "I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome." I smiled and rested my head against him. "I know what you mean though. It does get stressful."

"You're doing great sweetie." he smiled in return.

"The boys are doing great too." Aubrielle smiled and stared out at the stage.

"Look at my baby go." Gabbie stared in amazement as Jack danced on the stage.

"You guys are so cute together."

"Jabbie is definitely my favorite couple." I smiled, earning a chorus of 'same' from everyone.

"I don't know. Arbyn was my favorite." Eben said as he looked down at me, causing Angel to raise her eyebrow and look at him. "Don't hate me. I'm just stating a fact."

"You only like Arbyn because Corbyn didn't really stop you from flirting with Abby." Tyler chuckled. "You know that Jonah will not hesitate to kick your ass if you even think about his girlfriend."

"True. But Arbyn was cuter, no offense Abby."

"None taken."

"Thank you Chicago. You guys were amazing. Goodnight everybody." Zach cheered as he ran off the stage and went straight into Belle's arms. It was so cute.

"You guys were amazing. Wow." Aubrielle greeted the boys. Jonah came and plopped himself across Tyler, Eben and I.

"Damn bro. You're heavy." Eben groaned and tried pushing him off.

"He weighs the most out of the boys." I sighed and joined in helping Eben push him off.

"Do not push me off Abby. If you do, I swear I'll never speak to you again." Jonah chuckled and grabbed my legs tightly.

"You would never." I smirked and looked down at him.

"Try me, bro." Jonah smiled and held onto my legs. Tyler smiled and helped us push him down. "No longer talking to either of them." Jonah said and pointed to the 3 of us on the couch. Everyone laughed.

"You can't just ignore your girlfriend, bro." Zach chuckled. I got down and laid on top of Jonah.

"I love you. Don't hate me." I pouted and stared down at his face. He looked away from me. "Well, if you don't want to talk to me, I guess I'll just spend my time with Eben."

"I don't think so." he stood up fast but held onto me so I didnt fall down. "You're my girl & my girl only. Stay away Eben."

"Relax bro. I'm not interested in your girlfriend."

"I know. But I'm just saying. Just in case you decide that you want her at one point."

"Jonah, come with me for a second." I grabbed his hand and brought him into the dressing room.

"What are we doing in here, babe?"

"Do you feel threatened about how close I am to Eben?"

"Yeah. I think I made that pretty clear earlier at the beach." he sighed. "I don't want anyone looking at you the way he always does."

"Jonah, it shouldn't matter how anyone looks at me. I'm never going to leave you." I smiled and placed my hand on his cheek. His instinct kicked in and he leaned into my palm. "You're always my #1, behind Jack, of course."

"You mean a lot to me, Abby. But what happens if one day, you get tired of me and decide you really do want to be with Eben?"

"Jonah, that's never going to happen. Believe me. If i wanted to be with Eben, I would've stayed with him."

"What do you mean?"

"If I honestly wanted to be with Eben, I never would've broken up with him back in middle school."

"You and Eben dated?"

"Yeah. Like 6 years ago for a few months. I've mentioned this several times."

"No you haven't. Not to me anyway." he sighed and looked down at me. "I-i thought you were never interested in him."

"I never said I wasn't ever interested in him. I said I wasn't interested in him now."

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Come on, Jonah. Would I ever lie to you?"

"I don't know. You've been covering up a lot recently."

"No I haven't. I've always been honest with you."

"Bullshit."

"What's gotten into you lately? I thought coming on this tour was going to be fun because I got to be around the guy I love. But the last few days, all you've been doing is feeling threatened by the friendships I have. The keyword there being FRIENDSHIPS Jonah."

"I thought you coming on tour would be fun too. But then I learned that not 1, but 2 of your ex boyfriends are also on the tour."

"What am I supposed to do about that? One of them is your bandmate & the other one is somebody who YOU asked to join you on tour. I can't exactly stay away from them."

"It's be easier if you weren't around."

"Fine then. If that's what you want, I'll leave the tour." I sighed and looked at him for some sort of response. When he didn't give me one, I turned towards the door.

"Abby..."

"What Jonah? What could you possibly want now? Are you gonna bring up some more of my mistakes & secrets? Because that'd be great." I rolled my eyes and turned to face him.

"I'm sorry. I never should be said that. P-please don't leave me."

"It's too late for an apology Jonah. I already got my mind set on leaving. It's crystal clear that you don't want me around anymore so what's the point in staying?"

"I don't want you to leave. I'm just an idiot. Please don't leave."

"Jonah, if i stay, do you promise to stop getting jealous of Eben, Corbyn and even Tyler?"

"Yes. I promise. I promise a million times."

"Do you promise to stop bringing up my past?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

"I love you Jonah. You need to understand that."

"I do, I do. I swear I'll never doubt your love again." he got down on his knees and held my legs. "I love you too & I want to show you just how sorry I am."

He stood up quickly and looked at me with a look of fire and lust in his eyes I've never seen before.

Were we fixed? Was everything going to be okay?

Liked by jonahmarais, seaveydaniel, BbyAngMarais and 346,972 others

abbyavery: no matter what challenges we face, no matter how rocky this relationship becomes, I want you to know that I'm always gonna come back to you. i love you so much hoenah & I hope you never ever forget that @jonahmarais 😚💕

jonahmarais: i love you so damn much. you are my angel & you make me so happy 💕💕 jackaverymusic : just a heads up @jonahmarais if you break her heart, i break your face 👊🏻 abbyavery: awe @jackaverymusic I love you so much 😊❤ jonahmarais: don't worry @jackaverymusic. i don't plan on it 😊 abbyavery: ^ily dork 😙 fanuser03: these are cute. I love polaroids tatedoll: 💜💛💜💛 AubrieBesson04: ^ @tatedoll why are you here? leave Jonah and Abby alone. they're happy and don't need you to ruin it like you ruined my relationship with him 😒🖕 fanuser06: #jonaby is goals. so jealous of you 2 ❤ abbyavery: i love you @AubrieBesson04 😊💕 seaveydaniel: you are cute @jonahmarais 😍😚 jonahmarais: i love you @seaveydaniel ❤ seaveydaniel: more than @abbyavery ? 🤔 jonahmarais: @seaveydaniel  you bet 😉😍 abbyavery: @seaveydaniel @jonahmarais rude 😒😭💔

Tags:  @ijustreallylovethem​ @samithepixie​ @averysgarl​ @jackaverybabe​ @trustfundshawn​ @lovableherron​ @beautybesson​ @jackaverx​ @scenteddanielseavey​ @beccagraceseavey​ @dolantwinmagconwhydontwestan-de​ @lilah-or-lily​ @dailydoseofherron​ @hales-a-bells @obsessedlittleangel-deactivated​ @zaddydaniel​ @brizzebesson​ @ramenavery@splendidseavey@smilingseavey@ilovejackavery@polaroidseavey @poutyavery @loveherron23 @sleepybesson

#taking you #chapter 21 #war paint #why dont we fanfic

[jasonblossomsghost]

1-64 and 65: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?mm no more my own? i dissociate Constantly

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?4 unless i’m w someone else then 1

3. The person you would never want to meet?drumpf

4. What is your favorite word?hmm idk iridocyclitis is fun, a meme, and i work for an eye doctor so relevant to my occupation

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?i like weeping willows and i cry a lot so

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?we’re really doing this again huh

7. What shirt are you wearing?a long sleeved red and navy striped shirt that my mommy gave me

8. What do you label yourself as?a disaster

9. Bright room or dark room?bright room. fun fact: when i was ab 13 i could not sleep unless my overhead light was on. sometimes if im doing really badly i still need it lmao

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?uhh iirc i was talking to my boyfriend and playing wordscapes

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?idk 19 is going ok so far

12. Who told you they loved you last?my boyfriend

13. Your worst enemy?either myself or this one coworker of mine who i genuinely hate

14. What is your current desktop picture?just the preset one,,, idc that much lmao

15. Do you like someone?i mean my s/o is pretty cool sometimes

16. The last song you listened to?Outside - The Early November

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?me bitch tf

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?that one coworker... this one patient at my job who degrades me and my coworkers constantly

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?no one and nothing... i like to do things myself

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)idk tbh 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?don’t really like this question or the phrase opposite sex in general  so pass /:

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?nah i’m Talentless

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?you know overflow drains in like bathtubs? until i was like 10 i had to have my back against them bc i was scared people could watch me through it 

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.i live off popcorn so i dont eat or like sandwiches really

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?put it in savings. i’m tryna move out in 6 months

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?hmm idk. i have a friend in san francisco i havent seen in forever so that would be lit

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?smirnoff 100%

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? no geminis

29. What is your favorite expletive?fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?i was gonna say my fire safe box that has my social security card, birth certificate, etc then i was like wait a minute... but tbh idk maybe my laptop? or my purse?

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?my childhood was like 98% trauma but like.. it made me not suck that bad so i’ll keep it

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!i wanna move to seattle but thats in country so.. no idea. sweden? i like ikea

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?don’t fuck w the dead. no one is coming back

34. What was your last dream about?last sunday night i dreamt i woke up monday (christmas eve) and didnt go to work even though i was supposed to (paranoia. i had the day off lmao)

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?i am very good at loving dogs

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?yeah lots of times lmao

37. Have you ever built a snowman?yep. shitty but a snowman

38. What is the color of your socks?black

39. What type of music do you like?depends. sad boi music lately

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?sunrises 100%

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?i can’t drink milk /: but maybe strawberry

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)i am gay idk sports

43. Do you have any scars?quite a few! i’m a clumsy clusterfuck

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?i’m currently in college for poli sci and after i graduate w my BA, i wanna go to law school

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?idk?? like i hate myself but i also dont really wanna change anything

46. Are you reliable?generally yes. but i am known to cancel plans bc i’m depressed lol

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?hows life dude

48. Do you hold grudges?oh hell yeah not gonna play like i dont

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?nope dont like that At All

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?nothing really stands out... probably something from work but i take 100 calls a day so? they all blur together

51. Are you a good liar?really good. i don’t lie though. i’m actually brutally honest bordering on asshole

52. How long could you go without talking?dayssss i love not speaking

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?uhh freshman year i had an awful side part... next

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?yeah! i’m really great at cooking and baking!

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?not really? i took 2 years french and 4 years spanish and to pronounce properly i have to talk differently so i guess i kinda take on an accent then? but not actually

56. What do you like on your toast?i have celiac and gluten free bread is like $5 i dont eat toast lmao

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?i had to do a portrait in the style of francis bacon for my art final

58. What would be you dream car?ideally something that uses clean energy other than that idc

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.no and no.. i just shower what y’all doing in the shower

60. Do you believe in aliens?1000000%

61. Do you often read your horoscope?not often.. like if i happen across it i’ll read it

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?i’m not sure. m is a nice letter

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?dinosaurs bc they were real

64. What do you think about babies?honestly? terrified of them 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.if i were a bird maybe a magpie? or a crow or raven? or one of those really annoying parakeets