#i didn't feel any different

[celestiachan]

man having depression sucks dick. they give you Lexapro to take and last time you tried to take a pill your body said Nuh uh uh! and you had to make an emergency trip to the bathroom so you have to slowly build up a tolerance so you don't stain any carpets and eventually you don't need to cut the pill into quarters, only halves and then the psychiatrist closes forever and ever and it's the middle of a pandemic so you can't get more Lexapro and then people stop taking the whole pandemic thing seriously so you can get pills again and you try to take the same amount you used to in 2018 and oh God oh fuck my tummy is gonna fucking explode and my newly acquired acid reflux hates it when I take pills and fuckkkk lexapro isn't supposed to make your depression worse is it

#xenon screams #its like. 20 miligrams of whatsver #not that much honestly #can you believe that lack of sleep is a side effect of lexapro #tjis is being types at 5am. btw #the tamest antidepressant #apparently #y'know what's fucked up #when i was originally taling it prepandemic #it didn't change anything #i didn't feel any different #there are the other problems i have but lexapro is supposed to help those too #it's like how salicylic acid i good dor oily skin and acne. because they're both oil #avpd and depression are both mental illnesses #and yet i still couldn't start a conversation

[wasyago]

a random cleo in armor

#wanted to draw here but didn't have any ideas. when in doubt draw armor☝️ #cleo is fun to draw i like her color scheme. but i still need to get better at drawing different body types #this one isn't bad but i feel like i could've done better. need to practice more #hermitcraft #zombiecleo #my art #sketch #also im rushing to post all the backlogged hc art before season 10 starts so there will be 2(+) post per day until then #it's not necessary but i feel like otherwise it'll just drown in the new stuff

[sysig]

Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Sans #Gaster #Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol #Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird #Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth #Not to mention the trauma #And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories! #It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :( #This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0 #I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things! #Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting #But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation! #Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment #The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats #And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached #How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥ #But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember #Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol #Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft

[zivazivc]

guess who

I've seen a few artists I like making human art and I got inspired to make my own.

First version was based just on their character designs and personality, and what inspired their look in the first place. Second version happened when I took into account their backstory and what I imagine human versions of their parents' would look like. I don't consider either of these "canon", because to me they're just trolls but it was a fun experiment to try.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming of me drawing little colorful dolls

#my dumbasses 🫶 #ex bandmates #trolls oc #hed #les #dreamworks trolls #trolls #human trolls #my art #Trolls genres are weird and even though I can see them kind of as different human races (along other things) #I don't think you can compare them with real world races/nationalities. #As in I don't think you can point at a troll genre and say it's the equivalent of x race. #For me it varies from troll to troll even between trolls who are related. #So making a 'perfect' human version of these two brothers started feeling more and more like #like a mission impossible the more time I spent on this... #So these drawings are just two attempts #and I wanted to share. #also on a different note #the first les's hair is supposed to look pretty greasy. can anyone tell? (bc a friend said they can't see it) #and i feel like the first hed doesn't fit stylistically with the rest #probs because i drew him first. after not drawing a human for like 4 months (such is the life of a troll obsessor) #but i do love how he looks so i didn't want to go in and redraw him #also i don't have any more motivation for this and i just keep focusing on and picking at lil details #so i'm posting to get it off my hands :P

[victorie552]

I headcannon that after 3rd Kinslaying, and especially after Elrond and Elros left them in whatever fashion, Maedhros was a total dick to Maglor.

You know how sometimes old or sick people are nice to neighbours/nurses/strangers, but are horrible to their primal caretakers? That's them.

People aren't dicks to their caretakers just to be dicks - it's because they are often frustrated with themselves or their situation and don't know how else to deal with it or they can't deal with it the usual way. It also happens because, paradoxally, they feel safe around their caretakers - you can be a dick because you know they won't leave just because of that.

And boy, did Maglor cast himself in a role of caretaker (let's not kid ourselves, he wasn't qualified, and with his own problems to boot), and BOY, did Maedhros resent him for it. He did not NEED help, he did not DESERVE help, he's not another kidnapped child MAGLOR, I'M the older brother, I should take care of YOU YOU WRECK, WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BABYSIT YOU GROW UP ALREADY and leave me Nothing is EVER your fault, even when you left me to Angband as you should Why would you care now, it amounted to NOTHING before, it's WORTHLESS

And about half the time Maglor just takes it, actually likes it even. Mostly because of his guilt complex about how he deserves it, but also because Maedhros is only like this with him - he's trying his best to pretend to be fine and be a leader to few followers they have left, because they deserve better and that's the only thing he can give them now, and their brothers are all dead and would always be Too Little to act like that around them anyway. Maedhros would behave himself even around Fingon, to make him think rescuing him was worth something. So by being a dick to Maglor, Meadhros sees him as an equal, a safe haven. Maglor basks in that.

But obviously no one could just take such abuse like it's nothing, and Maglor is a Feanorian too, is prideful and stubborn, with his own laundry list of complains about Maedhros, and also unwell, and also thought of a new insult while lying awake at night and just wants to yell too. So half the time Maglor yells back and their yelling matches would bring orcs to tears, with hate and blame dripping from every word. I don't have enough imagination to picture it realistically, and actually I don't want to, it's too heartbreaking.

And sometimes, one or the other just starts crying. They don't talk about these times.

After some time, their arguments and insults are just a noise, something to repeat endlessly to the point of boredom.

By then, what actually hurts are the words that were not meant to harm.

Example 1:

Maedhros: 'did an all-night inspection of their stores cause he couldn't sleep' I found a herb you always liked to wash your hair with.

Maglor: 'doesn't remember last time he washed his hair, no less scented them'

Maglor: 'choked up' Appreciated.

Example 2:

Maedhros: 'feels like he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him' You could go with the twins, you know.

Maglor: 'doesn't want to upset Maedhros today so decides to pretend as if that was actually an option' Vanyar would probably like my singing but you know they would get mad at you for having better battle plans than them.

Maedhros: 'now KNOWS he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him'

Maedhros: 'dying inside' Of course they would.

When love hurts, it's easier to be a dick.

#maedhros #maglor #silmarillion #silm #barely related but it plays into my headcannon that when nerdanel didn't went with them and feanor died #maglor and maedhros became New Mom and Dad for the rest of Feanorians #not even with any creepy context from them it was an automatic process #oh Mom left Dad Maglor is similiar to her guess Maglor is New Mom #oh Dad's dead? Maedhros is New Dad #boom problem solved #when Maedhros was unwell after Tears Celegorm got to be Dad for some time #it's so unhealthy when you look from the outside #it's unrelated to anything except Maglor as New Mom resents any mentions of abandoning the others #Maglor is NOTHING like Nerdanel #THIS mom won't leave anyone thank you very much #and then Maedhros stays in Angband for 30 years lmao #so unhealthy #angst I guess #I feel it went in different direction than it started but eh

[screwpinecaprice]

I woke up feeling like I was crying to sleep when I wasn't??? And my dream was about Mei from Turning Red riding a snow sleigh. Um There's nothing sad about that??? Lol

Anyway, the warm up sketches. The colors were added in Medibang. It was pretty fun, might do that technique some other time. My body still refused to recover from being bummed out throughout the day so I did house chores instead of commissions. 😅 Will try again tomorrow.

#The heat man. No wonder I was dreaming about snow. Lol. But I bet I'll just die the moment I'm put in that much cold environment. Haha #There is already a way I draw Connie's side view angle in the regular style. But I'm hoping to do better. #KatietheSlayer's Connie side angle is so good and I admit I attempted copying how it was drawn to apply on my own style. 😅 But it looked #so weird when I do it. 😬 So maybe it's a sign from the Universe or something. Lol #So I'm now approaching practicing that side view differently. #Ugh. Something about Connie's eyes looked off in that one. 😕 I think I don't like it. #Steven and Connie were suppose to be looking at Lion looking up at them but I didn't draw Lion. #There are perks and cons in sketching traditionally. Like how it feels so much better scratching the paper with the pencils. I believe I #sketch better on paper than digitally. The downside is of course there's no undo and transform tool. 😔 #sketches #Messy messy sketches. My sketchbook is filled with messy sketches like a chicken was looking for bugs in the grass. #my shiz #connverse #Steven Quartz Universe #Connie Maheswaran #Lion SU #SU #skedoobles #Me basically rambling #I'm posting this so there's a higher chance I remember I was suppose to improve how I draw sideview angles. #Hm. You know. It mostly is really really easier to spot any mistake once you actually post something publicly. 🤔

[ilk-insolence]

Leo Analysis

There’s a popular reading in the Rise fandom that Leo is the strategist of his brothers, but I’d like to propose a counter-theory that, while Leo can be strategic, his actual skillset is in deception, manipulation, and perception. In other words, Leo is good at things involving people.

(Hey, uh, this is pretty long)

In the show, Leo shows a preference to following others’ leads rather than strategize himself. In One Man’s Junk, Leo is the only brother that doesn’t actually think up a plan to find more mystic metal, instead picking sides on who’s plan he thinks is better. This is seen again in Late Fee, where Raph and Donnie being the ones who formulate a plan to return the DVD. Again, in the season 2 finale, E-Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (god that is long), Leo doesn’t come up with a plan to defeat the Shredder, he instead made everyone turn to Raph for one [2:15]. This all follows a pattern that Leo admits in Battle Nexus: New York, "And we'll do it with our special brand of teamwork: where my brothers do the work but we share equal credit" [1:10]. He’s very lazy (I mean this affectionately), and prefers to follow someone else’s lead. The final nail in the coffin is the movie, where Leo is very distinctly not the one who comes up with the plan to lock away the Kraang. While admittedly that moment is from him learning to build others up rather than try to do everything himself, Leo is clearly characterized to not tend to strategize.

However, there are episodes where he does plan. A notable example being Many Unhappy Returns, where Leo planned ahead around Big Mama to trick her into giving them the mystic collar. Another is The Hidden City Job, where Leo pretended to be a statue to get into Big Mama’s vault in her auction. There’s also Origami Tsunami, where Leo briefly took the leader position, and planned the fake paper shop to catch the paper thieves. Smaller examples include, Man Vs Sewer (two attempts of snapping Raph out of his savage state), Bug Busters (freeing his brothers), and the movie (teleporting Kraang Prime into the portal). However, one commonality in all those schemes is that they’re all deceptions (okay, except for Man Vs Sewer but I have a whole other reason for that). In Many Unhappy Returns, Leo isn’t so much as being strategic but manipulative, understanding who Big Mama is, foreseeing that she’ll shove him in the arena with his dad, and planning around that by appearing stupid. He tricked her into cutting a deal in his favor (allowing him to have a weapon in the arena [17:25]). In The Hidden City Job, Leo’s plan is basically tricking Big Mama again, pretending to be something valuable enough to belong in her vault (almost worked too well there). Origami Tsunami, Leo surmised that the bad guys would want more paper and created the fake paper store. All of those plans involved tricking the opponent based on what Leo understood of them, and they worked. Of course, planning moves around an opponent could be qualified as strategic, but these events highlighted Leo’s skill in reading and manipulating others, not as a tactician.

Again, I’m not saying Leo can’t be strategic. In Flushed But Never Forgotten, Leo’s plan to fighting Piebald is to camouflage himself with sewer sludge (gross). That’s strategic. In Bug Busters, Leo distracting the guards with an empty laundry bin to trip them into a portal he created behind them is strategic. Leo’s whole stunt with Kraang Prime and teleporting them both into the portal was sick as shit, and strategic. Hell, his whole power with the teleporting/portals requires Leo to think tactically. But, in comparison with his brothers, particularly Raph, Leo doesn’t seem that much better than them at strategizing.

What Leo is characterized to be, is manipulative. Two main examples are Air Turtle and the infamous Lair Games, where, in both, poor Donnie gets tricked by Leo to do something for Leo’s benefit. In both stunts, the emphasis was put on to Leo’s deceptive nature. In the Lair Games, Leo intentionally put his room up as a prize with the knowledge that his brothers wanted to take something important away from him, hiding the fact that that was exactly what he wanted [12:45]. In Air Turtle, he lied to Donnie’s face that he could make the last shot in order to get his own opening/spotlight [10:16, and 11:14]. Unlike with strategizing, these events are made out to be points of distinction for Leo. He’s also shown to be extremely perceptive, as @/our-happygirl500-fan user pointed out in their post of him realizing Splinter had some history with Big Mama. And being the only one to suspect Raph throwing his fight with Donnie in Sparring Partner [9:54]. This all lines up with Leo's role as a faceman, somebody who's good with people. Combined with his performance in Many Unhappy Returns, Leo is shown to be someone extremely skilled in deception, and reading others.

Tldr, I think Raph is the strategist of the group, closely followed by Donnie. And Leo’s actual strength lies in his ability with people, his perception and manipulation. He’s not a strategist, but a trickster. A lying liar who lies (I love him).

Of course, I could be extremely wrong so I would love any input or commentary, especially regarding Leo's strategist status, because I could be glaringly missing something. Thanks.

#UGH I WISH I COULD INSERT IN ACTUAL SCREENSHOTS INSTEAD OF TIMESTAMPS #I didn't want to bother Rottmntscreenshots account with so many different screenshots though #but if you do have any of the moments I'm talking about (with subtitles) #feel free to reply and I'll add it in! #rottmnt #rottmnt movie #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise leo #leonardo hamato #rottmnt leo #analysis

[brofightiscancelled]

little brother / older brother

#not a middle child just a guy who has both older and younger brothers #png #osomatsu-san #was thinking abt the choromatsu and ichimatsu episode and how ichi said he feels like a different species from choro #as if theyre not brothers............ .... #and maybe im the only one who thinks this about my younger family members #i see them and go thank god you turned out good. thank god you didn't get any of me in there #i wonder if a sextuplet would think the same thing #3 #4 #5

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

#hellsing #alucard #kouta hirano #translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent #fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online #i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443' #but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands #the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake #anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool #if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first #and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf #i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia #then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point #but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page #and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. .... #i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh #the hellsing brainrot runs deep #also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491 #except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo #the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002 #which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out?? #i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch #sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less #it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was #maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'

[ineed-to-sleep]

decided to play the whole game again w nawen bc now I got her a fleshed out backstory + character development + most importantly. mods for pretty clothes

#I mean I had them by the end of the game but now I have them at the start #looking pretty at the start just hits different #bg3 #oc.nawen #sleep.txt #also this is ciri's outfit in different colors but it just really fits her story-wise and I'm feeling my feelings #I'm getting immersed I'm roleplaying I'm in the zone #bc like. just prior to this she had a rlly important position in the shadow thieves #and she was in baldur's gate on a mission to take control over the city's criminal operations for them and especially #to take the place of nine fingers keene #but behind the guild's back ofc. bc how else would they do this #she didn't exactly want to do it for a variety of reasons but what she wanted never mattered anyway #so she tried and made her move but. she failed #she got caught and attacked and barely escaped #she ended up crawling into a cave near the city to tend to her wounds #and it's right after that that she gets kidnapped by the mindflayer ship #so the messy clothes with barely any armor and the bandages just really complete The Look #if I could I'd just take away the belt on her waist but oh well. ig that would be too much to ask #but either way I am v happy w this heehee

[depoteka]

i don't smoke

#sorry for the quality hhh #here's my scarf #I HAD A VISION OK #if you're wondering why one half seems different from the other that's because halfway thru i realized i'm doing the knit stitches wrong hh #and didn't feel like starting over #even after blocking it curls up quite a bit but whatever #the logo's so iconic it will be recognizable even when the scarf isn't flat #it was my first time doing any colour work in knitting and also my first time knitting in a looooong time #so be nice to me

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

[quarks-pussy]

[Images description: Twelve pictures of Star Trek actors. The phrase "thank you for being both amazing actors and amazing people" is written across most of the images one word at a time, except for the two images in the middle. The middle images are of William Shatner, reading "not you!" and Robert Beltran, reading "or you for that matter". The actors in the other images are George Takei, René Auberjonois, DeForest Kelley, Gates McFadden, Wil Wheaton, Kate Mulgrew, Patrick Stewart, Siddig El Fadil (aka Alexander Siddig), Nichelle Nichols and Leonard Nimoy. End image description.]

Non exhaustive list of course. Many more such cases, in fact feel free to add

(insp)

#i considered putting sid's full name in the image description but i felt that might complicate things for screen reader users #but just so it's in the post i'll put it in the tags #siddig el tahir el fadil el siddig abdurrahman mohammed ahmed abdel karim el mahdi #yes i did copy paste it my memory is shit. i can't even remember my own full name... #(i gave myself like five different middle names at one point because if i'm already changing my name for trans reasons i might as well have #fun with it right but eventually i stopped using them because i literally kept forgetting my own name and had to look it up) #(i still have the note btw and since it seems i won't legally be using that last name anyway (nor any of the middle names) feel free to ask #anyway #star trek #not star trek #(schrödinger's post lol) #oh!!! i forgot one version of sid's name!! here goes #صدّيق الطاهر الفاضل الصدّيق عبدالرحمن محمد أحمد عبدالكريم المهدي #to be fair there's nothing in that tag (right now) but i guess i'm a completionist. or something #the others are ofc already findable because of the image description #oh and just fyi if you wanna add others do feel free to add new trek actors. i didn't include any here essentially because as soon as i inc #include one of them people are gonna complain i didn't include more of them. plus i ran out of space. sorry tawny #oh and to that one anon: i WILL still answer but i needed a break lol #original posts fresh from quark's pussy

[cxlandine]

am i a total asshole for being kind of upset that they totally healed lydia? i know disabilities in fantasy are tough because there are spells that can fix everything but i get a bit sad imagining the new art of her without the gem standing up.

#i just really liked that she was choosing to live with her illness because she didn't want to risk releasing bakur #but it's a fucky topic because different people feel differently about their disabilities #it's obviously a painful disability that she shouldn't have to live with but if in the fantasy world even lydia gets cured #then are there any people with disabilities in spyre that can't be cured? #it just makes the world feel a little more hollow to me #and makes me feel less like i could belong in that world if that makes sense #kind of a vent sorry #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #d20 #lydia barkrock #disabilities in fiction

[wonder-worker]

I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.

I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.

Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.

All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:

“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”

Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.

#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die) #elizabeth woodville #woodvilles #my post #to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not) #I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way #writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about #and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually: #the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another; #her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months; #how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old); #how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress; #and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft #(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was) #the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized #what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her. #(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether) #nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens #and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented #and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened #I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be? #apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared' #and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund) #rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least) #more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead #it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly #anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break #her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it #it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall #makes for a great story tho

[kenobihater]

23 is young and i don't wanna go acting like it isn't but sometimes i see stuff from baby zoomers and i feel fucking ancient. skibidi toilet? i have yet to understand what that's referencing. reality shifting? i was into new agey stuff as a teen and i get the whole law of attraction/manifestation thing, but the rest is all greek to me. a good half of the aesthetics i see talked about online? literally got overwhelmed when i stumbled on the aesthetics wiki last year and i feel like an idiot seeing all these kids list off like 4 different hyperspecific aesthetics to describe themselves 😭 girl what does any of that mean? patiently explain it like i'm 85 when it comes up, or don't expect me to know what the hell you're talking about. i'll just end up smiling and nodding like your out of touch grandpa who loves your energy but is frightened by cellphones and the concept of smartfridges 💀💀💀

#i genuinely am not dunking on any of this stuff (i have no idea what any of it is in detail lmao) and i think it's lame #as hell to dunk on young ppl stuff just bc it's enjoyed by young ppl. regardless i have no idea what's going on with the youth sometimes #and i don't think that's ever gonna change. i don't rlly care to devote a lot of time to stay Cool and Hip bc i'm NOT steve buscemi and i'm #okay with being viewed as uncool but it still surprises me the extent to which this is already happening to me and i'm not even 25 #back in MY day we had gangnam style & vine compliations & i was only mosscore with a hint of dark academia and that's how we LIKED it! /s #i honestly feel more in touch with millenials then i do anyone too young to remember the great recession or life before the omnipresence of #the internet. that's surely due in part to us being legal adults but also bc i think anyone who HASN'T experienced a childhood without #smartphone access or one free of years of economic struggle has a much different life experience than i do. i didn't get a phone til 12 and #i didn't get a smartphone til 14/15ish. i never complain abt gas prices like my parents do bc i grew up when it was $3-$5. i can't eat #canned peaches bc they remind me of '07-'11. this isnt to say i had it harder - i wasn't a kid during covid - but its slightly harder to #relate to #len speaks