#i desperately want to go home

[evablueblanket]

Working on SDV tonight…

What are you up to creachur?

OMG STARDEE VALLEY??? AHH STARDEW VALLEY :DDDD

#doin ‘murican things #f o o t b a l l #american football #not anywhere else in the world football #I desperately want to go home #but partying calls I suppose #i’m getting through my ao3 tabs tho!

[imsadstuff]

one minute you're 14 and your parents are dropping you off at boarding school

the next minute you're 24 driving yourself to business school

#no place has felt like home since #i desperately want to go home #but I dont know what home is anymore #im very sad #and crying #this semester is going to be so difficult

[chitinleg]

#w359 #wolf 359 #doug eiffel #image desc in alt text #pen and ink #comic #i love drawing the hephaestus. her massive and sprawling body with endless corridors #the way that minkowski and eiffel both describe it as so big you could get lost in it #so big it couldnt possibly have been designed for a three human and one ai crew #so big that there has to be more of it than they can access #and its their home. but its also a hostile environment. #and its hera's body too. but it's out of her control #shes the stations ai but she isnt the station its a body shes been put in and its under her control but shes constantly fighting it #you know? #it reminds me a little of that one episode of ds9 where the station which theyve all made their home on. starts trying to kill them #and its all dukat on the computers going ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS. ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS. #while they desperately try to save the inhabitants and protect themselves #this is their home they live in it they get used to it. they love it. and sometimes. it wants to hurt them. and thats not its fault #its a fascinating relationship to have with a place #anyway forgive my tags i love drawing space stations

[daylighteclipsed]

actually it’s kinda funny how KH1 ends with Riku telling Sora to take care of Kairi and then Sora completely does not do that and searches for Riku refusing to go home at all without him

#kingdom hearts #soriku #like from the hetnorm view of ‘ah the love triangle is resolved! sora gets the girl and who knows when we’ll see riku again ! #there’s even a montage in sepia like he’s dead ! but that’s okay cause sora will be happy with kairi :)’ #and then sora immediately not going home with kairi #and the epilogue or whatever showing he’s looking for riku #that’s p funny i can’t lie #i love how CoM has repliku literally call sora out on this too #and sora has nothing to say bc what can he say #he feels bad but he’s not sorry #his pride won’t let him say what he wants to say ‘i want you to come home. i miss you’ #especially with ‘riku’ acting like a jerk again. sora doesnt want to risk coming across desperate or weak. pathetic #which is ironic since bc i think if sora was willing to say how much riku means to him that would’ve had an affect on repliku #bc that’s what kh1 era riku needs to hear right? he needs to know that sora really loves him #and isn’t just playing hero for his ego or bc kairi is waiting for riku to come back or something #…which makes the kh2 reunion hit harder. bc all of sora’s walls are down then and he is basically pouring his heart out to riku #he’s weak and he doesn’t care. he’s pathetic but it’s not a bad thing #he’s just being honest about how much riku means to him

[plantboiart]

Projection time once again. Kian as a little kid with autism who doesn’t realize people don’t like him. Who gets so excited over everything and shares his interests with everyone and doesn’t get why people always seem to end up finding him annoying. Kian who tries so desperately to make friends but always messes it up somehow. Kian who latches onto every new person he meets because they haven’t gotten the chance to get sick of him yet. Kian who is so desperate for love and attention but never receives it before he moves go Galloway and meets the other guys. Kian who spends ages before finally telling them about his love for music because he doesn’t know how to stop himself from going overboard and he doesn’t want to lose them too. Kian who can never act normal enough to truly feel wanted and loved.

#kian who knows hes annoying but keeps going anyways because he just desperately wishes hell be loved anyways #kian who has rand and rolan tease him about his interests with 0 malice but who still waits for the day they end up getting tired of him #kian who never believes himself to truly be wanted. only tolerated. #kian who plays into the character he’s perceived as because at least that way if hes hated they dont hate who he really is underneath #kian who never says when the teasing hits too close to home because hes terrified of the reaction if he tells them #anyways. uh. pretty sure my irl friends wont read this post but #idk really hope they dont! i am far more comfortable sharing this with strangers on tumblr! #jrwi show #jrwi #just roll with it #jrwi bitb #jrwi blood in the bayou #blood in the bayou #kian stone #jrwi kian #bitb kian #autistic kian stone propaganda once again

[zappedbyzabka]

Sacrificial lamb and all that

#baby baby baby #He said :( #and #he said ☹️ #The way Kreese stared at him and hovered like a hungry wolf ready to pounce the whole time #the way Johnny tried not to cry and sweat and went straight into the arms of his predator like he has for YEARS #because he’d been literally in Kreese’s hands. Given to him and left with him. for YEARS. #And the way he stared up at him so desperate and melted into his grasp #let him swipe his hurting nose and obeyed when he made him do something he didn’t want to #because who else does he have. And his mom wasn’t there. and he had to go home with bruises all over him and no one #to Sid. to be mocked and laughed at some more. to cry all alone in his bed thinking about how the man he trusted and loved hurt him #And I think Kreese was more jealous. murderously so. that Johnny clearly wanted to be on good terms with LaRusso rather than so mad he lost #and by the time he realized he went too far and he lost his little champion—whom he ‘loves most besides CK’—he decided to get revenge on #Miyagi and Daniel. because it’s THEIR fault he did that to johnny in the first place. he hates them both with a passion. HE was humiliated #in front of his boy and the rest of the cobras by Miyagi. and Daniel…he changed Johnny. he practically took him away from Kreese. #Man is delusional cause that’s 10000% how he sees things #and GOD the way he begs Johnny to come back in ck. and then hurt him more because ‘thats what was best for him’ #and Johnny moves away from his touch and stares at him like an abused animal but still lets him stay #because he still loves him despite everything #he knows Kreese is in his own reality and does love him. but he realized his worth to an extent #realized its not okay for Kreese to have done all those things to him #and brainwashed him #and he was being victim blamed the whole time Kreese came back to cobra kai #I cant. #I’m SCREAMING. everything was taken from him but it was his fault because he ‘shouldnt have let Kreese come back’ #Only unobservant idiots ignore the fact that he was abused his whole life just so they can hate on him constantly. #johnny lawrence #cobra kai #karate kid #Still love Kreese though

[astrolavas]

it's sound weird, but i have headcanon that Hunter didn't go hexside, because he too old to shool(according to my feelings, at the end of the he is 16-17 y.o (except for the post-credits scene), and at that age it is already too late to go to school):p

i mean, well- in my opinion he rather certainly did go to hexside, since one of the things he'd said during his TTT monologue was "i'd like to attend hexside like a normal student and play flyer derby with my friends" and all of his "wishes" were supposed to sort of foreshadow his goals and his future (carving palismen, studying wild magic, etc etc) so i feel like it's safe to say he succeeded in becoming a hexside student as well. we also know he attended grom with the rest of his friend group, and like- since he's 16 before the timeskip (no canon certainty whether he's recently turned 16 or is going on 17 already though, but like... around 16 canonically) that means he'd get at least 1 year of school, but most likely 2+.

my personal headcanon is that he went to hexside for around 2 years (full or not quite, depending on when the school year starts in the boiling isles and how long it lasts; possibly even 3), and during that time he picked up a mentorship/apprenticeship at del's palisman carving shop, and after he graduated from hexside he started carving palismen professionally with the clawthornes (i like to think that he also takes some courses at eda's wild magic university in his spare time, simply cuz . funny uni hexsquad shenanigans)

#like imo him being like ''i dream abt going to hexside'' and then not getting to attend hexside cuz he's ''too old to start'' or sth #would be kinda cruel since he already lost sooo much of his childhood because of belos. and he wants to be a hexside student #he deserves to have these few years of the typical teenage experience that he so desperately longs for #ofc it's not gonna make up for ALLLL the years of childhood that he'd lost. but even 2 years of the experience? would mean So much to him #not to even mention that the idea of him just... sitting at home or JUST carving palismen or doing whatever for halfa day for the 2-4 years #just cuz he's ???? ''too old'' or it's ''too late for him to start high school at his age'' or anything similar ? #while the rest of his friends get to go to school and learn and socialize and attend classes everyday without him . sounds so lonely #and he had already spent most of his life sheltered and separated from everyone so . yeah. #he'd still technically have to finish hexside like 1-2 years before the rest of hexsquad buuuuut y'know. his situation is very unique #so i could also imagine bump/eda agreeing to let him go to school a year or so longer so that he could finish it alongside his friends #but that's like mm i also can see him finishing it a year early compared to the rest of hexsquad and starting fulltime at the palisman shop #but either way; yes to at least 1-2 years at hexside in my mind #now COLLEGE? i Could see him not going to uni since he's already got the palisman business going and is doing well and wants to chill #BUT personally i still like to imagine that he attends classes there part-time #nicole answers #my toh talk #hunter toh #verocorne

[localcryptideli]

You know sometimes I think that the reason I stopped being on the sokai ship online is that the reasons why I think the ship is nice are so separate and different from how I see most people interpreting the characters and wanting the ship to be that it just loses all appeal to me.

#it's about vulnerability and peace to me okay #It's about sora being unwilling to leave kairi behind where she is a bit slower than the rest of the group #it's something I could absolutely project headcanons on disability on #it's about kairi signifying home and peace and stability #where sora's world became incredibly chaotic #it's about being accepted as who you are not what you can or cannot do #and sora being appreciated because of who he is beyond the keyblade #and kairi's life being valued even if she is not a big strong warrior #it's about the drama of kairi clinging to a past sora desperately wants to have again but cannot go back to #and kairi having the POTENTIAL to relate to that struggle due to her own past #it's about both having the experience of being left behind #and both being kind at heart and clinging to normalcy where they can #it's about being selfish about it too and not recognizing the ways in which the other grew #stubbornly clinging to the way they knew each other because the leap of change is scary albeit necessary in the long run #and stepping on each other's toes because of this because they don't recognize their goals and personalities shifted #that's what's yummy to me #whereas with soriku I am very aligned to fandom interpretation hence why I am waaay more intense about it here #but yeah I... don't want kairi to be a super goddess girlboss that saves sora that's not why she is appealing to me #as someone who struggles with not shining for skills and being left behind I treasure the fact that she is narratively important #and treasured by her friends - but still not super OP and the best of the best and a perfect flawless problem solver and hero #I enjoy that she is weaker and her best friend would STILL risk it all to see her safe - she is not disposable or an afterthought #and she matters because of who she is and the friendship she brings not because of what she can bring to the team of keyblade wielders #i need to find a tag for personal updates

[curioscurio]

ITS 9 AT NIGHT DONT YOU NEED TO LEAVE AND TAKE YOUR 4 YEAR OLD HOME YET GO AWAY I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LEAVE MY HOUSE AND GIVE ME SOME PEACE FOR A FEW HOURS. literally my social battery is negative its negative and you playing cocomelon at 9pm on this Saturday night in my own fucking home is killing me. I have not had more than 30 minutes of privacy the past 3 days just GO AWAY GO AWAY

#context is my nephews birthday was today and everyone has been here since 11am except me. i just got home from work and im fucking tired #this plus a drunk family friend desperately wants to talk politics with me. literally i am in my room door half closed and he a 60 yr old #60 yr old drunk comes in like 'they told me not to talk politics with you. but i really wanna' #GO AWAY ALL OF YOU IM EXHAUSTED CAN I NOT HAVE 1 NIGHT TO MYSELF #my social battery is negative but i have no control over who comes over to the house or even the privacy of my own bedroom #TAKE YOUR KID AND GO ALL OF YOUUUUU IM TIRED I WANT TO BE ALONE

[cowboy-robooty]

guys i decided to succumb to the demons. getting back on the instagram grind to get popular so i can make friends. in good news this means i will finally make drawings to post again. in bad news this means i will have to use instagram

#TUMBLR WILL ALWAYS STAY MAI HOME THO OKAY GUYS #THIS IS MY TRUE PERSONAL BLOG #update for all you who dont know. cowboy robooty empire originally was instagram blog i ran because i desperately needed friends #and im incredibly socially inept so the only way i can make friends is if im popular so then people will ignore how bad of a texter i am #im just shy af for literally 18 months and then i suddenly am comfortable and can be normal ok #but yeah i quit bc i started drawing danganronpa and hated all my fans and realized i had enough friends #but now i want to go back hunting once again. viva la swag!

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[kozidraws]

.

#gonna ramble about irl here so people don't have to read it unless they want to #so because I got covid and couldn’t leave my bed I've essentially lost my job #I've told my manager I'm okay to go back to work #even if my body is still sore #but she's only given me a 3 hour shift a week #and you guessed it! #it's the late shift #the one where it takes me almost 2 hours to get home from #she's being so petty with me #and I am so behind in rent #I've applied for government assistance and I have a meeting with them tomorrow #I really hope they can help because I feel awful #I'm also annoyed at myself because I can't find my knee brace ANYWHERE #I thought I could find one for around $10 but nope! #the closest stores selling them are like $25+ so that's fun #I don't know when I'll be able to draw again #I'm so stressed again about money and secueing work #hopefully once I can get govt assistance at least I can enjoy life again #also I tried to ask the zine that still owes me money if they could finally send payment but they still keep delaying it with excuses #I'm so desperate it's shameful

[evanture]

thinking of dess and gaster dynamics

#deltarune #dess holiday #dr wd gaster #wing dings gaster #utdr #december holiday #very complicated dynamic between these two in my eyes #i hc dess has been gone four years #year one was still kind of that denial stage #where she was sure she would find a way out eventually #year two was a mix of anger and bargaining #it was a lot of desperate pleas for freedom that gaster unfortunately could not give in to #and i think atleast once #she tried to kill him #and it was one of her lowest poins #but she was desperate and she wanted to go home and she missed her sister #she missed her dad #she missed asriel she missed kris hell she even missed her mom #and so she thought maybe Maybe if gaster wasnt there she could leave #it was an impulsive spur of the moment decision and it lead nowhere #all he is is one of a thousand fragments #scattered everywhere and nowhere #and she broke down #theres more to their dynamic #but ive already written a lot #so i wont talk your ear off anymore #OH! #the song in the first image is #the nunemakers parable by everybodys worried about owen #alright bye now!

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

oughh......

#laya plays dragon age #da2 #oc: liam hawke #this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that #but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH. #i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok #bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years #years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard #and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left #and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it #varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home #drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother #and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life #and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision #but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings #and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade #and he cant do it #and he hates it so much. but he wont do it. #and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways #if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands #as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even #the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it #but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too #if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more #''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me #dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more #or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever #anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again

[akkivee]

so i heard the stage did a retelling of every division’s get together story!!!! i wonder if you would consider that a reboot of the stage lol

#this is vee speaking #my job lost its internet connection so i was on data for the day #and data wasn’t loading twitter lol #but now i’m home lol!!!!! i’ve seen the singular article but haven’t come across spoilers 🫤 #the new encounter song itself is an absolute banger like holy fck lol tho some of the vocals were making go ❓❓ lol #i desperately want to see how they interpret the characters lol #*burns my house down* BUT DID YOU HEAR NEW STAGE JYUSHIS PART I LOVE EXPLODING HE SOUNDED SO GOOD AND I IMAGINE HELL ONLY GET BETTER #nakatsuka-san’s hitoya was teased a bit in the cross talk so hearing him didn’t surprise me lol #nakanishi-san!!!!!!!! has me so curious about his kuukou lol!!!!!!! #like everything he’s in song crosstalk merch makes me feel like he’d suit an interpretation closer to 3dcg kuukou #but the way he moves has so much hirono in it i’m so!!!!!!!!! *yelling* #I WANNA WATCH!!!!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FALL FOR THE NEW STAGE ACTORS INTERPRETATIONS!!!!!!!!! #WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

[lunarharp]

collection of some 2023 qifreys & orus. for my own fun and reflection

#witch hat tag #putting this here too! i'm allowed. #i DO want to do colour more but black & white is fun. it's their home. and being restricted to it has helped me focus on lines. #they really are characters that let you explore the full range of desperate restless seriousness AND Silly Time. i NEED that #i think qify is fully in love with the silly parts of oru like head OVER heels he needs it he needs it he needs to live with that #draw it out of me.... take me there. don't let me go #don't come any closer but don't let me go #and one day....some day together........ no you cant say that that's yuri. LITERALLY QIFREY & ANTHY NEED TO DRINK TEA TOGETHER THO. #like her and 14 year old qifrey. where brushbug is there so they both have an unfathomable creature. anyway