#i couldnt be bothered to actually draw the cake so uh

[turtleplushi]

Local incognito knight gets food poisoning: coming (hopefully) soon to an AO3 near you.

#feat. my google tab #i couldnt be bothered to actually draw the cake so uh #the kirby cafe menu makes me so hungry whenever I look at it lol #anyway i might end up making this a whole fic so that's cool #no promises though #meta knight #fic art #kawasaki not pictured #turtle's art hoard #kirby fanfic

[idjitlili]

Firework

Kili x modern!reader

Summary: The company turning silent  at the random lyrics you quietly say to yourself.

wordcount:2674

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting thought the wind Wanting to start again" you had whispered to yourself ,not knowing the company had begin quieting down ,as you really didn't speak much,it's not surprising really being thrown into a different world not knowing if you ever get back home.You felt like Kim jong un ,in the interview. Damn you had wished to be James franco.

"Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep Six feet under scream But no one seems to hear a thing." you still hadnt realised the company was dearly concerned and silent as they heard you spit out these things,they felt horrible they couldnt help. Deciding you didnt want to speak all of the lyrics to firework,you just skipped the the end.

The company were about to hear some purposely bad singing,you did it because it's more fun,singing in a horrible low man pitch or a high squeaky pitch.it was great in your opinion ,to annoy people.

"Baby you're a firework Come on let your colors burst Make 'em go "OOOh.oh, oh!" You're gonna leave 'em fallin' DOwn down down BOOOOM,BOOOOM,BOOM" shouting each boom like a dinosaur ,oh by the way you were in a lake bathing.

"Even brighter than the moon, moon, MOOOOON Boom, BOOM, boom Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon." you had turned around to see the whole company rushing towards you with their weapons in hand,your face flashed red,you had used your arms to cover your breasts,you had finished bathing anyways. GRabbing your towel from the side on a rock now covering yourself with that.

"have you heard of privacy?" you had spoke walking out of the water,onto the rocky ground,damn dwayne,the company had looked shocked at your rudeness.

"We heard shouting, we thought you were in danger, lass."bofur had piped up,luckily Gandalf hadnt bothered to check on you knowing you just doing you,same with some of the other dwarves aka Bombur ,Balin ,OIn, and a couple of the others that didn't think you were in danger.

"bRuh,you know I could've been being down something else and bOOm ,I don't you to see that ,or I could have been bleeding out my god darn VAGINA!" okay so you were a little mad,KIli had smirked raising his eyebrows ,when you had said the first thing,you had blushed looked away from him

They had simply muttered apologies to you ,before walking away,yeah they were a little embarrassed as they hadn't seen you burst out like that being ,you always kept everything to yourself ,mostly not wanting to anger Thorin. You thought that they had all left turning to drop your towel to dress;yet someone had cleared their throat. You had turned like sonic ,to see the youngest dwarven prince standing a couple of steps a way,you were glad he had let his presence known otherwise he would've gotten a whole view of your cake. You just stared at the dwarf who stared back still smirking.  

"that was some lovely singing." bruh why did they all rush to yo,thinking you were being stabbed then? "that wasn't bloody singing ,screaming." you had grumbled out walking closer to him pushing him to face away ,when he had turned slightly back you had glared at him. Allowing you to get dressed ,god darn it was chilly.  "I would like to hear you scream sometime ,how about it?" you had scoffed at him playfully ,you knew he was just joking but it was horrible to be led on. LIttle to his knowledge you knew about that scene with the male elf ,you hadn't watched the hobbit it many years ,and that smaug was pretty much all you could remember right now.

"it's not like you got time ,oh darn those male elves." you had spoken doing a very rude gesture ,not that he could see but you were dressed mostly now, "oh your high cheekbones, and oooh ah your perfect skin,and those mhmm tight little asses." in with that that you had snuck up on the prince cupping his ass in your hands ,before swiftly leaving the dwarf in a certain bone city. He had not expected that from you, he thought you were shy,well you were ,you were just comfortable around him.

Neither had talked to each other for a couple of days and you knew Gandalf was leading you all to Rivendell but that was a secret.  You felt like being attacked by orcs was the perfect time to sing wrecking ball  horribly and dance to which fighting off orcs. You all had been hiding behind a rock when you had began quietly speaking the lyrics.

"We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain We jumped, never asking why We kissed, I fell under your spell A love no one could deny.." so quickly only kili,fili maybe bilbo could hear as they were all next to you,Thorin had told kili to shoot one down,indeed he did but you just felt like being a wrecking ball today.

"Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you I can't live a lie, running for my life I will always want you" you had became slightly louder drawing the others questions as you turned to kili ,gently putting your hands on his face ,as he looked at you like you had just pooped in the shower instead of a toilet,pulling your hands down and to your sides like Tom Holland on lip sync.

You had quickly rushed to the edge of the rock spotting an orc on a warg ,spriniting after it dagger in hand ,shouting:

"I CAME IN LIKE A wRECKING BALL" Boom the orc was dead as you had jumping on it ,slicing your daggers mentally shouting ljust like drax in Guadians of the galaxy two. You had been so quickly been pulled off that orc by KIli as he ushered you to run with the company ,pulling you along by the hand. "What were you doing?!" he had spoken quite angrily.

"Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you I can't live a lie, running for my life I will always want you," bruh these lyrics were too similar to the situation you were in right now.  He had scoffed against the wind,not being able to resist to crack a small smile for whatever reason.

Anyways soon you had reached Rivendell and just as you had fortold Kili was into the male elves,he had twirked up a side of his lips closing an eye to gesture the ellon behind him,god. You had been sat next to him ,Bofur on the other side of him. Kili was trying to cover up that he actually liked the elves ,due to his uncle and Dwalin and their judgemental galances."though that one isn't bad." he had smirked making Bilbo choke ,and the company burst out into loud laughter. Kili's face red in embarrassment,you had made eye contact with Fili who you would tell often about his brothers love of the male elves.

You had smirked ,mouthing "what did I say?" before doing the same hand gesture as before of jerking someone off,you tried to not let KIili see,but soon he had noticed ,you had just grinned nervously at his unimpressed face ,using that hand to slip the wine awkwardly. After a few minutes you had piped up to Bilbo to try remove the tension between you and Kili. "so.....Uh Bilbo have you tried Lembas bread?"gaining his attention,shaking his head no ,then the elves started their song again causing several dwarves to groan.

"I feel like I'm at a funeral." Nori spoke up in annoyance,while Oin had stuffed a napkin into his trumpet,"Did someone die?" ,Bofur had stood up standing on a table in which in around 77 years will be sat the ring of power. "There's one one thing for it ,lads. plus one lass" aha you were recognised for once as part of the company. Kili had nudged you in the side with his elbow briefly before whispering "maybe you should sing with him ,or maybe we should get a chamber together after this ,and I can hear you scream." you had turned into a beet ,pincing him hard, as a small moan come out of his parted lips,before Bofur started singing.

"There's an inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old inn, Beneath an old grey hill ; And there they brew a beer so brown That the Man in the Moon himself came down One night to drink his fill.

The ostler has a tipsy cat That plays a five-stringed fiddle ; And up and down he saws his bow Now squeaking high, Now purring low;

Now sawing in the middle So the cat on the fiddle played a hey-diddle-diddle A jig that would wake the dead ; He squeaked and he sawed and he quickened the tune, While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon :

"It's after three !", he said." just as Bofur finished dancing and singing wonderfully ,god his voice ,anyways Kili was about to throw a roll /cake thing at Lindir ,you had grabbed his arm before he could. You knew it was a food fight but throwing it at that elf didn't seem right,when he offered nothing but kindness.Kili had looked at you questionly ,"his hair looks like it took him long time ,it wouldnt be right,plus he looks your type ,you wouldn't want to screw your chances already." you had grinned at him,only to throw the thing right at Lindir's chest,ruining his shirt.

You had stood up straight away grabbing a napkin,rushing to him,you had smile at him once you had gotten close to him."uhh..LOrd Elrond,can your marchwaden and I be excused?" you weren't going to explain it furthur as it was clear,Lindir expression was still in disgust of the dwarf actions,yet Elrond's was soft. "of course," he had stated simply causing you to grab Lindir by the arm pulling him to the hall in hopes of finding some water.

"I am so sorry about your shirt,I tried to stop him." you spoke passing him the napkin to try remove the cake ,in which he took."My lady ,I appricate your effort,however I assure you worse has occured to me ," his voice smooth as ice,as you reached a foutain he dipped the napkin a little to help remove the cake ,he was very handsome. "you like that dwarf don't you ,my lady,I hope I am not being too bold,if so please say." you had sat on the wall of the fountain ,as did he ,you had blushed at his words.

UNknowningly to you a bunch of dwarves were heading this way,stripping to bathe in the fountain.

"No,no that isn't too bold ,,it is true." before either of you can speak there is a roar of laughter and huge splash in the fountain soaking both you and LIndir ,both of you had turned around to see a very naked Kili alongside most of the dwarves. You had pulled LIndir to stand up ,you were blushing hard. "whatever you do ,don't look down."you had whispered to Lindir who didn't say anything ,as someone had tapped your shoulder,when I say think of that hippo from madagascar getting out of the water that is exactly what it looks like now. His hair slicked back,the sun glinting on the water droplets on his muscular body.

"hey ,LIndir is it?Can I talk to y/n?"KIli had sent killer glares to the tall elf,you had pinched kili again to try get him to show some manners. "when this quest is over,Lindir I will sure to return with a new shirt for you." in with that he had smiled at you before leaving you with a very naked prince,you tried to not look ,just trying to look annoyedly at the dwarf who just sorta smirked at you.

"really? you didnt ev-please put some bloody pants on"you had shouted at the dwarf in annoyance ,he did have a full package and you couldn't help but glance he had chuckled at you. "oh so you checked me out,I'm honoured." he had smirked even wider than you thought was possible,turning into bloody pennywises nose. "..uh...." before you could even think of what to say,he had scooped you up into his arms before throwing you into the water,you had gasped now soaked,you had pulled kili over by his foot only for him to fall right on top of you.  His bare chest against your soaking tunic ,and his pipe was on your bare stomach ,where your tunic had risen up ,his eyes looking back into his shocked ones. THe water well over your face ,as you were both underwater.

Well that was until Dwalin had pulled Kili off you ,and Fili had helped you up to stand in the water.Dwalin was fuming at the prince's behaviour," If ye gonna court the lass do it bloody properly,show some bloody respect instead of shoving ye cock on her." he had shouted at the embarrassed dwarf ,who just gulped in response,you didnt want to see anyones cock like this really. "Thank you ,Dwalin but I didnt pull him over," you had spoken quietly ,grabbing kili by the arm ,walking out of the fountain and away.

"where are you taking me?" he had questioned trying to catch up with your rushing steps."to my room ,while I go get your bloody clothes;you will do as I say." and that is it he did not question as you left him in your room returning shortly with his stuff ,as he got changed you began running yourself a bath. You had sat him on the edge of your bed as you stood infront of the youngest dwarven prince.

"Here's the deal if you want to to court me , you will apologise to Lindir ,and you will court me properly like supposed to do. You are very charming and everything I do not wish to be messed around and I... do like you ,next time if you want my attention dont.. flash me in front of everyone .So what do you say to that , KIli?" you had let out with some pauses to rethink certain points before saying them ,looking at the dwarven prince you stared back at you with loving gaze.

"I agree to your deal,will you accept me courting you,y/n/n?"he had stood up ,holding your hands gently in his,you had nodded pressing your lips to his briefly,before pointing to the door. "now go to LIndir while I bath ,then you can braid my hair,"

Maybe you weren't a plastic bag ,cuz god makes no mistakes ,you are beautiful in your own way.

This imagine took longer than I thought ,but I have dedicated this to my two bestfriends jorja and Blake who have been here for me most of highschool,and jorja for  8 years. MOstly blake because of all the lady gaga references I put in this because he hooked me , I remember dancing on the bus with blake after a school trip,and after a drama perfomance and during a drama performance. Singing phineas and ferb together. I remember jorja slapping me in the face with herbs and I remember her chasing me after she said i got no titties ,and graphite. Too my best buds.

#kili x reader #kili x y/n #kili x you #the hobbit kili #kili imagine #kili imagines #kili the dwarf #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit #the hobbit x y/n #the hobbit x you #hobbit x reader #hobbit x y/n #hobbit x you #hobbit imagine #hobbit imagines

[cutearose]

all the sunflower asks bc SUNFLOWERS 🌻

FAGFHAGHJS THATS CHEATING

I love you tho(I’m gonna put this under a read more)

pacino: if you could be any age, what age would you be?uh? I dont know really? tbh I’m probably at my most content rn so like, I’ll stay w 22 thanks

ms. mars: what kind of flower or plant are you?I am a lambs ear I am soft n fluffy n I dont like being cold n wet

goldie: do u wake up early to catch sunrises?well I would if I could but also I dont exist as a human before like 9am at the earliest

maximilian: who is/are your current sunshine/s?SASHI YOU ARE!!!! YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE!!!also Jack my angeland my peach friends light up my life every single day

vanilla ice: are you a plant or an animal person?plants count as animalsidk I love both???? dont make me choose between my children

pastiche: what is your favorite color (include the perfect shade)?GREEN and uh oh gosh like a muted grass green maybe??? also yellow. dodie yellow!!!

red sun: answered

autumn beauty: who is the sun to your sunflower (a person that you look up to)?ummmmmmmmmmidk really?I’m inspired by a lot of people but I dont know if I really ~look up to them~ idk???

moonwalker: do you consider yourself an idealist or a realist? why?fsdghfash I swing wildly between both oh man my head is in the clouds and yet if something is not logical or going to work out then I will just Stop idk I’m a bit everywhere l m a o

valentine: make a playlist (with at least five songs) that reminds you of home?of home? oh manwell I mean home is where I feel safe and so home includes in the arms of my friendshowever I am really bad at playlists and that sort of thingbut uh lets try

Gold Star for Me - dodie and Carrie Hope FletcherNot Alone - Darren CrissWe Are Golden - MikaShine - Vanessa AmorosiCalm - AlchemyLoved and Alive - Jim and the PovolosQuiet - MatildaPretty Girl - Hayley KiyokoDear Happy - dodie and Thomas Sanders

I am aware that this is a weird mix of songs and I probably should listen to them as a playlist before posting this but SHHH

velvet ocean: answered

sungold: are you alright? really?fsfsgad I’m never alrightalthough actually I’m in a weirdly okay place right now? like I’m still a Hot Mess™ but I’m a more put together n content hot mess than I’ve ever been in my life, and I am loved and I am safe and so tbh? I think I’m alright?

teddy bear: what’s the best present that you have ever received?OOOHHH yikes I’ve been given some really really lovely gifts through my life? like I dont know if I could pick one??? but my favourite gifts are the thoughtful ones, like even just the little ones, the ones where you know someone saw it and went “THATS SO YOU” sort of thing, yknow? like you’ve given me things like that heart bath confetti n happy tea infusers n a stimmy wand, and Jack has given me plants and tea, and Maddie gave me a butterfly pillow so I always had a butterfly from her even when she couldnt draw one, and idk I just? I am blessed by people who love me and give me things they know I’ll treasure

sunspot: what’s been bothering you for a while?everything is bothering me alwaysmy lack of income and my shitty internet are both bugging me tho

florenza: post a sunny selfie !!!um I cant figure out how to add a picture omgthis one is the sunniest recent one I can find on my computer tho

goldy double: what is/are the name/s of your pet/s?MAGNUS my little shit of a catalso my strawb plant is call Nellie and my lambs ear is called Soft

sunrich limoncello summer: would u rather live in the ocean or the forest?forest!!!!!!!

mammoth russian: what’s your height? and dream height?I am 165cm or 5′5 and idk I’d be happy with another inch but also I’m not fussed? I like my height I am a good height for cuddling people

little becka: what’s your favorite seed?this is a weird questionof the seeds I’ve planted in my yard my faves were probably the sunflower ones cos they looked really cool

lemon queen: can u bake? what are the pastries that you could bake?I can bake cakes and a few breads and things? but I cant bake pastry? though my friend and I made our own puff pastry once and made chocolatey things. it was a wild ride.

jerusalem artichoke: what do you normally do before sleeping?I HAVE A LONG AND STRUCTURED ROUTINEbut basicallymake tea (chamomile and spiced apple, though I’ve RUN OUT at the moment and coles doesnt sell it and I cant get to a safeway that sells it!!)while that brews, brush teeth, wash face, shake out doonarinse water bottle and fillmake sure window and curtain are opentake tea and pill and climb into bedcall magnusfuck around on phone while drinking teapost goodnight on peachswitch on alarm/sleep tracker appgo hunt down magnusbecome a snuggly buggly bean

willowleaf: what’s your favorite autumn outfit?idk its not autumn yet

rosinweed: who are your favorite people?YOUJack and Maddie and Steph and Michaelamy peach friends

purpledisk: are you living ur dream life? if not, why do u think so?no but I think I’m starting to head in the right direction and honestly if I had enough money I would be able to start it but I DONT

serpentine: what’s your most favorite birthday memory?I think the night of my 21st is one of my favourites like playing cards against humanity with all these people I love from all these different parts of my life? it was a good timebut alsothe time dad crashed the minibus into the westfield carpark height barrier was pretty funny

lakeside: what’s something that you like to do but you cant do it often?anything involving money or leaving the house l m a oidk I love love love going to the beach? but I cant get there v oftenalso rollerblading? I have nowhere to skate

prairie: what are the most beautiful things about your pet/s?THE SOFTEST TUM AND THE CUTEST MEOW

sawtooth: answered

downy/ashy: describe your dream significant other!fghafjs I do not knowtbh I would ideally love to be in a poly triad I feel like that would be so so good for me and for my partnersbut someone snuggly

I am v tired so these weren’t as coherent as I would like but its okay bc I love you

#deadwright #ask

[thegirlthatlivesinsideofme]

Welcome to the shit show.

Well Vegas was a fucking nightmare. Thomas was an emotion mess. I was an emotional mess and Chris was a shit show.

For starters before we even left Chris started telling me how terrible a club was and talking about how awful it’s going to be and told me to drop it when I was trying to explain that it’s really not as bad as he is making it. He was like that’s enough. You need to drop this now. We are done talking about it. Strike number one. Do not talk to me like that. We are a team not a dictatorship. So I was angry and I told thomas and he of course was really angry. So we get in the plane and it’s all fine. Thomas was clearly bothered by me being close to Chris so I started trying to back off and just be cool with out giving him physical attention. We went to Fiamma for dinner and it was amazing. Chris was negative. We got on the guest list for hakkasan and Chris actually didn’t say anything negative about it. We walked around for an bit I couldn’t walk very fast because it was raining and slippery and by the time we got to the Bellagio I think Chris was over it. He kinda just left me. And would look behind him occasionally to make sure no one took me. Strike 2.

We saw Janna and Rew come in and wanted to hang but Chris wanted to keep walking. We went back to get a different pair of shoes for me and Chris fell asleep. So we just called it a night.

Friday was cool for the first half. We went to egg slut then to the Hoover dam and that was good but I was taking pics of thomas and not completely attached to Chris it it was getting on his nerves. Anything I wanted to do for thomas he was annoyed by.

Chris decided to take the van back with andrew and thomas had to book the dinner reservations so we ended up having some time to ourselves. Highlight of my trip! We had to make it quick but it was worth it.

Friday night I was on cloud nine. I was so happy and excited to be out and having a good time and I felt good and looked good! Chris however trying too hard to have a good time. After dinner we decided to go to the tables and that’s when I noticed Chris checking out all the other women and i only got his eyes toward me when we were walking through a group of men and he wanted to make it clear they weren’t to look at me. Even though I was making sure I didn’t give anyone my attention. The tables were ok. Not my thing to lose money so I didn’t play but then we all made our way to Andrews place for cake and I got wired. Somehow Taylor came up and Luke wanted to see what she looked like and then he was calling her hot and telling thomas to get on that and then he said he already had that and then Luke told everyone that thomas said Taylor has a tight pussy and I was pissed. I was trying so hard to be chill but I was so angry so that put me in a funk. My husband is looking at every woman but me and my boyfriend is talking about Taylors pussy being tight. Ugh thomas eventually broke off from us and we went to secret pizza and enjoyed the rest of the night.

We stayed out entirely too late or early I guess and got Like 4 hours of sleep. The next day was the worst. We went to the avenue cafe and I was down. My eye had gotten something in it or torn and I had on no make up and was feeling so bloated and just not great for Vegas and having my husband and my boyfriend looking at other beautiful women. So I finally put in some make up and Chris literally gave zero shits about me not feeling 100%. He was seeming annoyed with me and snapping at me so I did what I do. I keep my quiet.

That afternoon Chris wanted to watch football thomas wanted to get out and I just wanted an emotional break. I wanted to go to the spa and I couldnt afford it so I decided to turn the bathroom into my spa. Chris (with the I distance from thomas) got me a glass of wine and I got some fancy chocolates did a facial and a steam room treatment and an amazing bubble bath. It was awesome. I was back to myself and then Chris and Thomas came back up and something was off. Idk what exactly it was but it was something. I think it was just Chris being weird which apparently he was weird the whole time him and Thomas were on the strip. He was normal while we face timed my parents but that was it. I got ready and thomas was upset and then I was worried about him. We ended up at a pizza place and Chris for super drunk. He wanted to be thomas’ wing man and get him to talk to the hostess. He would not give it up. He said he was living vicariously through thomas. And just trying wayyy too hard to get attention and make thomas make a move. I was starting to get mad at the comments he was making then it became clear that we were not going to hakkasan and that was a huge buzz kill for me and thomas. Then Chris started making super inappropriate comments on the street and thomas was Luke oh god guys don’t do this and we went to cvs thomas was super emotional and made some kind of comment to like he could keep doing this and that he was done with Chris and I walked away to keep from crying and then Chris walked up and literally put his hand up my dress and grabbed my pussy /ass I was furious!!!! I hit him and said are you fucking kidding me right now. He laughed and walked to the line and I walked back to thomas. I was considering going back to the hotel but knew it wouldn’t fly. We went to MGM and

he kept making comments. When I put my heals back on he was like look at her she's got to get sexy again. And I was like uh I was born sexy. Then we decided on top golf and walked all the way there. I was freezing and mad and upset. Then we played too golf and he tried to be nice. But thomas was like I don't give a fuck I want pics with you we are taking pics. So we did which I guess phased him off so as we left he kept giving me side eye and eat shit looks I was so tired of it I fianally said what is it? What do you have to say to me and he went on the tell me how I have given him no attention and I want to give my attention to everyone but him and I brought up the fact that I see him looking at other women and he made it like I was like how dare you and making life miserable but I was simply making a statement like you don't deserve my attention when you can't keep your eyes off all the other women and I'm not going to beg for your attention. Anyway he pulled out the past and how he has to keep his eye on me because he can't trust me and then told me old habits die hard and I guess he has a point there. I told him he can't hold on to that for the rest of his life and he said I can. You wanted to leave me for another man. And I said no I didn't I never wanted to leave you and he said well you enjoyed the company of another man over mine and I said ok that's a fair statement. I thought he had moved one like he struggled occasionally but was mostly ok but he isn't and it was a massive red flag to me. He basically sees the worst in me in every situation. He cannot stand for me to do anything that draws attention to myself Like dancing ever. 🙄 or singing I'm sure. But he wants to control me and I don't want to be controlled. I want someone to trust me. And love me. He says I was live and he wants respect. I respect him I just don't want him anymore. I'm tired of not feeling loved by him. And feeling like I'm not worthy of his love. Because I made a mistake. It was awful. We don't have fun together and I'm not sure where to go from here. Total fucking shit show. We ended the night and went back to the room broken. We ended the trip broken. The trip was ruined and came home with new clarity that our marriage was never truly fixed it just had a really cheap bandaid on it.