#i cant get myself to watch it

[redmarqar]

the conagher bros (all three of them died painfully)

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 engineer #emesis blue #thats why i cant make myself watch spy's discuise because im too afraid to get another hyperfixation like with these men here #fucking end me

[wulfhalls]

FAILMARRIAGE CO RULERS LETS GOOOOOOOOO

#i was watching myself watch this scene i was so outside of myself. cant believe i get to have this. #dune #dune part two #paul x irulan #dune spoilers #paul atreides #irulan corrino #txt.me #dunetwo

[koszmarnybudyn]

They were right this would make a pretty sick cover.

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #my art #dndads spoilers #scary marlowe #tw eye horror #cw eye horror #cw eye imagery #you cant belive how fun making this was #it accidently became kinda trans flag colored but im not complaning #also went to a vintage market kinda thing today and bouht myself a vintage pocket watch (very cool makes me wanna make an 19th century suit) #and some vinyls (random ones cause i wanna make a bag out of them) and a lighter (kinda wanna engrave “this too shall pass” onto it ngl #could also engrave a web on it but i am supercticious enough not to bring cursed things/things made to look cursed into my house #(that's probablly quite silly though) #anyway i had a lot of fun and i hope you had too :) #oh and i have yet to finish the new episode (but i did get to listen to malevolent s4 finale and i hope to get some art done for it soon )

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!! #i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!! #I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE! #tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood. #Why do you keep pulling away from me? #It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“ #oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!! #........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*

[gooboogy]

The problem is they both make sense.

John lacks any agency, and as his abilities start "failing" he loses more of what little he has. The only things he can do is perceive the world through Arthur's eyes and talk to him in his head. That's it. He has no material effect on the world around them. He is solely 100% reliant on Arthur for his continued existence and influence on the world. He can't ignore Arthur whatsoever (unlike Arthur who can ignore John easy peasy) he can't Do anything but talk and observe (and also experience the deaths of people Arthur touches but ultimately that does nothing). Of course he is going to be distrustful of other people and possessive over Arthur.

Arthur feels like suddenly he can't rely on this very reliable thing that has been keeping him alive this whole time. It would shake anyone up. Especially with the shit they have to deal with? If he can't rely on directions he will be sliced to ribbons or shot without a chance of fighting back. They may as well be dead already. And for all of John's lack of agency, it's Arthur who has to actually deal with the consequences. He's the one who's getting wounded and torn to bits and has to fight all that. Plus it's HIS body. If someone's existence relies on your body, you have the right to refuse, bodily autonomy is a human right.

The problem is they've gone through this cycle before (cycle of learning and forgetting and learning that they are One Unit and need to work Together vs The Problems and forgetting) but never has it shaken Arthur so much. Even when they've argued before he would still listen to John's directions. But now? Everything is in question (as is probably the intent behind John's "failing" abilities.) They DO need other people to help and they DO need to be careful and include John. They cannot truly trust someone else while keeping John a secret or without his input. Arthur has the most control over the situation and the onus is on him to make the compromises. Yeah it's his body but 1) countless times he promised to John that they were in this together and 2) at this point separating them would be so traumatic that they may as well be One.

All of this is to say, curious that Arthur is so willing to tell Oscar about literally everything EXCEPT John. What happens if he does? What if there's someone else to assert for John in a way Arthur can't ignore so easily? Would that legitimize the shared ownership of Arthur's body? What does it mean for John to gain agency by the loss of Arthur's autonomy?

#im being Bold today and not saving this in the draft #pls be nicey if you disagree #i have a lot of confusing thoughts and feelings about what bodily autonomy means when youve got a guy living in your head #that is somehow separate from yourself #malevolent #malevolent spoilers #goobabble #also to be clear I think Arthur is being complete major dickhead #i understand why he feels the way he does #or at least how i think hes feeling #and i think john would stab him if he could #slap him upside the head for being a dummy #i wouldnt blame him lol #i cant include all the intricacies of their dynamic so theres def things that may be missing here but you get it #also yeah i watched the fionna and cake finale lol #to be completely honest i dont think these guys even know what Trust is #they are all men of faith #posting before i can overthink myself into a spiral about this

[hestiashand]

a stained district.

sasuke week day five — pain & trauma

[ ID: a digital drawing of sasukes silhouette as a kid standing in front of the uchiha district in a red and purple colour palette. the ground, doors, drapes and sasukes hands are covered in bright red blood. there is a red boarder framing the image. END ID. ]

#sasukeweek2023 #on my hands and knees #why do i do the things i do to myself #snif sniff #you can *barely* see it bc of all the filters/blurring i put on the image but #there is in fact a crow in the right tree watching him #what if i died #sidenote but i’m pushing my hardest to get day 6 done….. #i thought i was only gonna have 3 maybe 4 when the week started so… what if i did it #altho silliest part is that day 7 sasukes bday is giving me the hardest time lol #idk what to do #i cant top that mikoto/sas bday drawing #naruto #uchiha sasuke #jitters art #jitters naruto art #eye strain #blood

[puppyeared]

people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime

#i say all of this positively bc i just! i cant help admiring it!! even if its mundane or not a big deal to you i seriously cant wrap my head #around it.. this is in no way at all meant to be condescending or anything. whenever i look at someones bio and theyre like oh im working #as a lab assistant biologist pharmacist realtor etc im like woag.... thats insane.. and then i peep your art tag and it knocks my socks of #how?? what lives do you lead??? im so curious. i seriously want a peek inside your brains someday. or at least shadow you at work lol #i cant help but feel sad when someone says smth like well i have to support myself and art cant do that for me. or maybe you were #pushed into pursuing a 'safe' career bc i hear it a lot. all of my relatives have the same story working as nurses and OFWs for the family #i think for me its not about missed potential but rather its being sad about making a decision to put your happiness aside to get by #ive tried so hard to do it but it didnt work out. i guess watching you guys do it is fascinating to me #or maybe youve made peace with your decision or actually like what you pursued but im still amazed!! it makes me wonder what made #you pick one over the other in that case.. is it like putting time for two different things the way you would for a schedule?? hmmm #im doing graphic design so i dont really interact with ppl in other faculties even humanities like sociology or childcare... so i cant help #wondering what it must be like as someone whos pursuing visual communication both as an interest and career #i seriously wish i could do smth like a desk job or even admin and maybe ill try that if this doesnt work. or i could look into trades #but dyscalculia already makes it hard to do things like cash and mental math so i get overwhelmed if i think about this too hard #yapping

[goobygnarp]

.

#good grief im gettin a lil tired of seeing 'DONT DO THIS' kinda art videos #i very much understand its a youtube thing and that clickbait names and thumbs get the views and attention needed #but it doesnt mean it doesnt annoy me or that I cant be annoyed by it #sometimes i just see it in tutorial pictures too #but the large DONTS with red Xs near the supposed ''wrong'' way of drawing is so demotivating #people start and draw in many ways than one #its what makes art their own #but when videos or tutorial posts are made and show the ''WRONG'' way to go about it #its like scolding the new artist or long time artist with that style that they're doing it wrong and that its bad #no matter the intention its not the way to go about helping artists learn to draw #and in my personal opinion #the click bait ''DONT DO THIS WHEN DRAWING'' thing is what keeps me from actually watching the vids #i get theyre probably helpful but i don't like that I have to feel some NEED or DESIRE to click on a vid cause I feel like I did a thing #wrong or that i never should have done it at all #i wish i could see more 'here are some tips that helped me #kinda vids cause yes i would love to learn what helped you rather than being or feeling wronged for drawing in a way that isn't theirs #im rambling but i have been seeing a lot of 'DONT DO THIS' NEVER DO THIS' 'IF YOURE DOING THIS STOP NOW' kinda art vids #im speakin for myself here #but im an artist sifting through art youtube or spaces always willing to learn new ways of improving my art #i dont need to feel click baited like the next 3am don't this kid to learn how to improve my inking skills #if it was more a 'this is my personal preference and I wanna share it with my audience and maybe teach some things' kinda vid #id watch that too #but im just so tired of seeing art youtube going down this need to tell folks 'YOURE DOING IT ALL WRONG. THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY"

[softness-and-shattering]

So I put on this netflix show, in their tradition of being extremely obvious with names its called Mech Cadets, and its an alien-mecha human-pilot fight-the-giant-bug-aliens story. My first complaint is that the alien mechas are called Robo's. Wow exciting /sarcasm. Anyway thats totally forgiven because 1 the story actually makes choices and puts the characters through consequences instead of like hinting at oh it something bad gonna happen psych we dont have the guts for that. Its a kid/teen show so its not super dark but it follows through and goes the places it needs to.

2, and maybe most importantly, I gotta talk about the disability rep. There's four teens chosen by the alien mechs to be their drift-compatible pilots (I think im using that correctly? Im not super informed on the genre but I know some), and we see straight away that one of the guys has a prosthetic leg from the thigh down, and uses it as an example to tell the main protagonist, hey none of us are perfect we dont have to be perfect we just need to be human. The next episode the mechas are given human-designed weapons to fight with, and the disabled kid gets these flippy sticks I cant quite work out. One of them gets a staff, the other gets this glove for punching, story moves on. Then a bug-alien-antagonist gets into the teens dorm and while fighting it, the alien dismembers the guys prosthetic. He immediately grabs his crutches and goes to town on it with his crutches, and balancing on them to kick with his one good foot*. Then they disconnect the rest of the prosthetic and use its sharp edge to kill the alien. And then he just moves around on his crutches with no comment and Ill cut myself off there so I dont spoil the whole thing.

Except, a couple episodes later, Im watching him in the mech fighting and moving around, and I realise that his giant fuck-off monster attacking weapons ARE A PAIR OF CRUTCHES. Theyre his fucking WEAPONS. Thats cool as fuck!

#is it mech and not mecha and im making a fool of myself? I just cant quite bear to call them Robos im sorry #Mech Cadets #Theres more nice stuff about the disability rep but I want to leave some surprises for y'all when you watch it #The animation is ok theres one character who's face sometimes looks a bit plastic and moves a bit janky imho but otherwise its alright #I also definitely want more about the robos as people because theyre intelligent but theyre also a bit treated like machines #and not sentient beings #but they clearly are sentient #theres definitely themes happening about how alive they are but its not properly dug into yet. if they get a second season I definitely wan #more on them #like why did they just show up to earth to partner with people and fight the bug aliens? where are they from? whats their motivation? #but in a I want more world building way not in a wow this is shit world building way #anyway #mine #disability rep #disability representation #its got some really fun vibes #*his one foot. he doesnt have a good foot and a bad foot he just has a foot. getting him mixed in my head with Kaz Brekker and his cane

[27treks]

so if you tell Gale you're not in love with him he literally says "oh good so when I kms you won't even cry that's great thanks see u"

like gale. my friend. there is a space somewhere between enemy and lover I s2g these men are so dramatic.

#bg3 #gale dekarios #bg3 gale #im trying to romance wyll for the 3rd time #and i keep getting all these other thirsty ass mfers all up on me #this save is for wyll and if he still wont have me then i wont have anyone #ive tried 3 times now and i keep doing something wrong but idk what #i havent even let myself watch his dance scenes other people share #i want to experience it myself yk #im so down bad for wyll its sickening #but gale just swoops in with his demands for snacks and love #if i cant romance wyll this time i give up and ill just play his origin next time #and romance karlach #baldur's gate 3 #gale

[oifaaa]

I honestly don't know how people who care about spoilers handle life on the internet

#idk maybe its just me #but even if i dont give a single fuck about the media in question #i find myself learning stuff about it #which as someone who doesn't give a fuck about spoilers is grand #but man do i feel bad for people who cant enjoy things if they get spoiled about major plot points #anyway im thinking about this rn #bc as some of you know im watching one piece rn #and a character just got introduced #who i know before i even knew their name #is going to die #and i just thought that was funny

[fisheito]

@trainto1925 coincidentally i have just arrived

The soft ones ARE choosing violence 🥰

#oli in a clearly disadvantaged situation and he's still immediately ready to thrown down #you dare slander eiden? I'll punch you. I'll smack the mist. I'll slap the disembodied voice in my head #i will take your formless evil and physically beat it into submission with the holy book #there is no calculated (oohh better not anger the illusion wizard currently watching us from the forest shadows) #only (TRY ME . I KNOW YOUR TRICKS. REVEAL YOURSELF SO I CAN PROPERLY DESTROY YOU) #the softies rly are more impulsive than i remember. love that . #i need to stop woobifying all the softer boys just because theyre not all sufferthirsty murdermunchers like kuya #at the rate we're going it's a bunch of uwu nice boys just chillin until eiden gets threatened #then they're all I'LL FIGHT *THAT* GUY. I'LL FIGHT THAT TREE! I'LL FIGHT *MYSELF*!!!! U CANT STOP ME #and eiden is holding them back with his lil vermicelli arms like PLEASE CALM DOWN #olivine #eiden

[bbq-potato-chip]

I hate this stupid copyright ad-filled internet. 5 years ago i could look up an anime episode on youtube and watch it (although it might be dub and grainy quality). now when i look up anime on youtube its all youtubers "live reactions" with the actual anime footage censored so they wont come under copyright. The one account that had all of the botw soundtracks on it was taken down and the only way i can listen to them is via CD. i hate it here

#its so stupid too why would i want to watch some guy watch anime when . i want to like. watch the anime myself #why when i look up anime wanting to watch it is it all LiVe ReAcTiOns like who is even watching this???what is even the point???? #i can make funny coments when im wathcing TV...i dont need to watch another guy do that i think i've got that covered thanks #i wanted to post screen shots of a gintama ep i watched bc i wanted to you know. talk about it because i want to but like. whatever #really ticked off though. so tired of this damn society cant a guy watch anime for free without getting a virus on the computer. #like its one thing to talk about anime and stuff thats what im doing but why is that the first thing that comes up when i look up an episod #why is that the ONLY thing thats there. like i know why (copyright) but stilllllll

[phoen1xr0se]

Crowley and Fireworks

I wonder what Crowley made of the first ever fireworks display he saw.

Do you think he remembered?

Do you think he looked up at the riot of colour and creativity in the sky and felt a vague sense of familiarity, that he'd seen this somewhere before?

Do you think he gasped along with the crowd, face turned up in wonder, filled with joy and making noises of delight?

Do you think after the display was over, he was consumed by a strange ache, a longing for something he would never be able to find the words for?

And do you think he turned to Aziraphale to try and tell him about it, only to see his angel staring at him, blue eyes glistening with tears?

Edit: I got distracted and turned it into a ficlet. Enjoy:

#my brain is angst central #i made myself cry #why do i do this to myself #crowley would spend hours watching the displays #trying to get a better grip on the memory that just keeps slipping out of reach #he knows he made the stars he just cant remember doing it #but the joy he felt #remains lodged in his heart like a thorn #he wants to know why something so happy makes him so sad #crowley deserves the world #sorry not sorry #good omens #crowley #good omens 2 #good omens fandom #david tennant #good omens s2 #angel crowley #before the beginning #alpha centauri

[milkweedman]

Too sick to do pretty much anything but also bored as hell. Been spinning the southdown flax blend on my espinner cause why not, nobody has ordered any and I can make more if they did.

It's a very interesting spin. I spun a sample before I put it up for sale to make sure it wasn't awful, which it's not; but it is difficult. Not sure I would have been able to spin it before I learnt how to spin flax. You gotta keep an eye on both components as you work, making sure you're not leaving the southdown behind or letting the flax bunch up. It's easy once you are used to it, but still different.

The espinner I got working a little better by seating the drive band correctly. Still not a fan of the fact that I'm not directly in control of the speed... on a wheel or spindle I often want to slow down or stop but it's a pain on the espinner and it leads to uneven yarn. These things are weird.

Anyway. Dont know what I'll do with it but it's nice to spin again. Have been having trouble using my supported spindles bc of my shoulders. I know there's a way to lay down where you can spin supported without shoulder pain; the issue is I can't lay in one position for very long bc then everything else hurts. And of course supported is what i switched to after wheel spinning was too painful, which i got into because drop spindling was too painful. Can you tell how upset I am that spinning is being slowly taken from me. Haha. Anyway. Glad for the espinner in this regard.

#just had my first appointment w an EDS phys therapist and everything hurts #also dont know if i have it as we couldnt get thru everything in one session #clearly am hypermobile but not in the usual joints and not in the usual way #like...my sister would probably get the highest score on the beighton test (spelling ??) but also has no problems #meanwhile i would get a very low score but cant shift in bed without every joint subluxating #aaaanyway. ow. #am watching minecraft videos and spinning and very very hungry but :) cant make myself food as i can barely move #imagine having a carer #or like any support at all. in any way. imagine that #:/ #spinning #flax #southdown #espinner #disability

[iminaworldofpureimagination]

being a cat owner... just watching em sleep.... she so sleeepy

#i need to watch it so i can get into why catra is just an angry cat who hates her owners new friends hahaa #catra #adora #she ra and the princesses of power #from what i know so far i cant really bring myself to ship em but as a cat owner her future behaivor makes sense from spoilers iknow